/sci/ - Science & Math

no one ever laughs at this one even though it's the funniest joke ever.

>>6304090
oops forgot a pic

>>6226570
I'm an engineer and I'd fill her holes with my pole if you know what I mean.

Differential calculus: finding the maximum of some process, describing how the process develops
Integral calculus: I hate myself so I'm going to memorize all these shit formulas when I can just ask wolfram or MATLAB
Variational calculus: I forgot to tell you. I have no idea what my process even begins to look like. Here's some general rules that it follows. Good luck.
Complex Analysis: My function never stops. What do? Also see pic
Graph Theory: How do I go to all these places in my lifetime?
Matrices: so I have a bridge. I've simplified it to 2D so it only has 20 members with 3DoF each. So I can solve 60 equations with 60 unknowns or 1 equation with one unknown. I choose the latter.

Am I doing it right?

If you don't understand this joke, you should not be on this board.

>>6009200
there wasn't enough air to do that. They were too high up
it's an example you learn in control theory of an unstable system

I'll bump some more tomorrow. Maybe then someone will help me with my shock wave problem?


hat you will learn in Engineering

1. You can study hard and still fail.

2. You can not study and pass.

3. Multiple choice does not mean easy.

4. There are no trains here.

5. Six exams can be written in 4 days, but it hurts.

6. You can skip all the classes, study for 15 minutes before the final,
and still do better than an arts student in any arts class.

7. Pi to six decimal places.

8. Judging by fellow students, engineers are either drunks or geeks.

9. Everyone is someone else's wierdo.

10. Front-row people are weird.

11. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

12. A 95.75% can be an A.

13. An 80.1% can be an A+.

14. You can kill your neighbors with a 9-volt battery.
The Top 10 Things Engineering School didn't teach
10. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
8. Not everything works according to the specs in the data book.
7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.
6. Never try to fix the hardware with software.
5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.
4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
3. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
2. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.
1. Dilbert is a documentary.

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.

The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.

The group is silent for a moment.

The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"