/sci/ - Science & Math

>>7618537
Maybe you try to turn things around. Do well in classes maybe - but wait. They're all too easy and aren't challenging enough to even be interesting. Your intellectual vitality degenerates, while your luckier counterpart is given a fair challenge and the opportunity to grow.

Maybe you try to enjoy where you are and accept what has happened, let everything go. But it just doesn't happen. Maybe not just yet. In the back of your head you know you're only here because you aren't somewhere else, and the thought lingers like a festering wound. A phantom pain, a weight that you carry. It fills you with a spite that makes you unable to enjoy anything anymore. Sometimes it even leaks out and you inadvertently antagonize and look down on people around you for no reason. You've become an asshole with an inferiority complex, essentially, and you know it.

You can't stop thinking of what could have been - what SHOULD have been, and the mere mention of a better school fills you with a combination of rage and self pity. Your university becomes a constant reminder of failure, of what you've lost - or perhaps never had.

Then you realize, you're trapped in Outer Heaven... where men become demons.