/sci/ - Science & Math

Can someone recommend a good and easy to follow self-teaching calculus book without retarded confusing mathematical definitions not even the ones who made them up can't understand?

I feel I'm not learning dogshit in my uni class, I can solve functions but I have no clue why it works, I just learned how to solve. I want to understand in depth but my math teacher doesn't appreciate that.

I don't want to solve something through sheer memorization of the process without knowing what the fuck I'm doing in the first place.

In class we literally went from y(x)=x^4 ==>y'(x)=4x^3 to fucking alien chinese moonrunes in pic related. I'm so frustrated.