/sci/ - Science & Math

>take 200mg sertaline for 3ish months
>get fed up of it not doing anything
>when the nurse hands me the pill to swallow I now place it under my tongue and pretend to swallow
>stop taking it for two weeks before they find out and take me off the medication
>they said I would have terrible side effects but I had none I could notice
>start feeling really empty (cringe I know)
>can't feel sad or happy or anxious or scared or bored
it's been 8 months and things are still like this, recently I have started to feel a little anxious again and I fear I might return to the deep sad hole. Was it the medication that did this or was it purely coincidental? And why do I want to ruin my life and want not want to at the same time. Thank you for reading fren.