/sci/ - Science & Math

I have a problem /sci/. I can't use textbooks, I just can't Understand them, When I go on and try to learn some I feel like I'm just mindlessly reading.
And by the end when I try to recall something I just feel like I didn't even learned nothing.
I've figured that writing down EVERYTHING makes me remember, but It's Impossible to rewrite 5 textbooks in a Month.
I drink 6 cups of coffee a day since I started with textbooks, so IDK if that has something to.
Also, the way I learned stuff all through high school was by Youtube videos so that might affect as well.
I also can't take drugs like Adderall or those nootropics, Drugs are Illegal in my country