/sci/ - Science & Math

>take calculus as required for degree
>professor is awful and just talks at you with a barrage of formulas and concepts without explaining anything
>read the textbook
>the prof wrote it
>it's the same thing and just assumes you understand everything with an unreasonable pace that does nothing to explain in case you get lost
Is there a recommended Calculus textbook? Something that goes slower and explains the underlying concepts?

Is there an internet source people can recommend for learning beginner calculus? I've had such a spotty education my fundamentals are weak and my definitions confused. I've dropped a calculus course 3 times in my life, now I want to learn it not for school but because it bothers me that I don't really know what a derivative is and how it works. I need something clear and would be very grateful for assistance.

https://youtu.be/QyeF-_QPSbk
I feel like a retard because this shit blows my mind.

It really got me thinking, if you drop 2 objects of varying mass from an equal distance in a vacuum - - do they have inertia and is it equivalent? How is the inertia manifesting, is it somewhere in the moment where you're holding the object and let it go? Does it persist after the release? My brain is full of fuck, and yet the forces involved are so quotidian.