/sci/ - Science & Math

>>12266715
The curse I'm afflicted by is way worse than that.
Ultimately, we don't get to choose how to feel about our nihilism.
Why? Primarily because there is no reason for time to exist.
We only live in the present. Memories of the past, engraved in our brain, are attributes of the present, but in no way a testimony of the past.
The future has yet to come, but will it ever come? We don't live in the future so we can't prove the next moment will happen.
You can only live in the present.
Just like actors in a movie. Are they aware that they are trapped in movie frames? Would those actors be aware if their movie was cut in half? What if we burned all but a single frame? Would the actors inside it know about it? Could they do anything about it?
No, they wouldn't and they couldn't. And yet they believe they're moving forward and that their actions have meanings inside their lonely frame.
We're just like them. We don't get to choose what we experience, we just experience it. Our actions are meaningless because we can't reach the next moment.
And people telling me just to not give a fuck will hardly change anything.
We're trapped in amber, out of time, with tears of laughter or sadness in our eyes.

>>12113032
Sorry, but I'm not impressed by consciousness.
It's neat that we can feel a boundary between the self and the world, but ultimately it's a mere concept among infinitely many others.
At first, I'll admit, I was intrigued by it, startled and even impressed. Why the fuck is there a I? And then I realized the euphoria I felt thinking about my own inner thought process was just a mechanism deployed by my brain to gratify itself; a mere evolutionary process that would incite me to value myself more than what I actually am.
What about consciousness itself? It can be broken down into smaller concepts, into qualia bits which can themselves be divided into smaller and smaller components, until there's nothing left.

Thinking about our own thought process is deceiving. It makes us feel like there's more to us. Evolution made us feel this way to ensure we would pursue our vain endeavors. It didn't plan that some people would actually see through this illusion.
We exist, then what? That's one concept. The concept of a subjective observer. The sum of arbitrary qualias.
There's nothing special about us. And switching one qualia for another with LSD doesn't change that fact.

The only great mysteries that keep me awake at night are how nothingness came about, and how everything stems from it.