/sci/ - Science & Math

>>11323295
Yes, I've been diagnosed with major depression, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, ptsd and agoraphobia.
I've been going to therapy since I was a kid (I was raped when I was 5yo) and I went to a psychiatrist for the first time at 16yo but I refused to take meds and I mostly lied to him. Second time with a psychiatrist I was 18yo, they told me that SSRI were the solution and I was really bad at the moment so I accepted, but I actually got worse. Stop taking them a year and a half after that. Then I went to another psychiatrist and I refused meds but since I have a lot of panic attacks I accept clonazepam, but I only take it during a panic attack or when I think I'm about to have one, etc (less than twice a month nowadays). My new therapist thinks that I should go to the psychiatrist and I should take antipsychotics, but that shit makes you lazy, fat and stupid and I don't want that. I can study but not enough, I usually start having self harming thoughs when I try to concentrate and end up loosing my concentration. Maybe Adderall could help me with that, I just wanted to hear some experiences.
>>11323740
I wish I could but I'm a retarded autistic faggot.
>>11323901
I had never jerked off nor watched porn. I can't enjoy things and I don't have any libido. I'm currently in a farm going out everyday, it's easy for me to go out when there's no people around. I have exercise a lot (between 3 and 12 hours per week) almost my whole life, otherwise I can't sleep. The thing it's that it's really hard for me to go out in the city where I study cause it's a dangerous city, it's CROWDED af, and most of my classmates lives really close to me and I'm afraid of them due to some trauma.
I also tried meditation but it's currently kind of hard for me rn cause when I try not to think I start crying without reason and sometimes I start having self harming thoughts, but I'm still trying.