/sci/ - Science & Math

>>9564152
That's not how it works here. You first have to know a guy who knows a guy. All gratuities are handed out to family and acquaintances, even though everyone is technically entitled to them. It's fucked up, but that's how society works in this eastern European shithole. The only way I can force their hand is by using my health insurance card (since then the government would pay them instead of me personally), but since I have never had a job, that one is tied to my parents. and to do use it I'd have to contact them and our "family doctor". Which brings me to

>stop being a sissy and tell your parents
If I could, I would have done it already. The fact that I am a NEET leeching off them while I'm pretending to be looking for a job is killing me right now. I quit my math grad (Master's) programme last summer (told you guys about it back then; I was just too autistic and stupid to get in touch with an advisor that would supervise my graduation thesis) and I still haven't told them about this. They think I managed to graduate. And they're beginning to catch up to the fact that I haven't been looking for a job all these months. What would they say if I contact them to tell them that I am having near catatonic episodes just doing my groceries to stay alive (even though I go to the market during off hours) and they ask why I am so fucked up mentally right now?

Sorry for the blog post, but I'm at a loss what to do. I guess I don't look feminine enough for online panhandling to work. I feel so drained right now that thinking about begging on /mg/ was the only thing that crossed my mind. I keep fantasising about killing myself, but I always end up thinking about the aftermath which pulls me out of trying it. I wish I'd die in my sleep tonight.