/sci/ - Science & Math

I think (not a doctor or medical opinion) I may have some mood disorder. Like rapid cycling type 2 bipolar or something. On occasion I'll get really depressed. Not just sadness pure emotional pain and I literally can't feel anything else. During the day it'll get worse and worse and then it reaches a point where I don't want to move. I loose the will and motivation to literally lift a finger or move from where I am. In this state if I try forcing myself to move my movement is very jerky like I have Parkinson syndrome or some movement disorder. At it worst it lasts 20-40 minutes, then slowly I start getting better and better as the day progresses.

In-between the poor mood, lack of motivation, and motor problems these episodes brings I concluded a lack of dopamine was one possible problem. I experimented with a low dose of l-dopa (velvet bean) which is a precursor to dopamine that crosses the blood/brain barrier. As soon as I noticed the lack of energy/motivation and the desire to sit motionless which happens regularly I took it. The effects were a very rapid improvement in mood, energy, motivation, and surprisingly sex drive. I've since started taking l-dopa regularly. There is the possibility of tolerance/sensitization so I've restricted myself to using it only 1 or 2 days per week.

While not all depression is a chemical imbalance, you can't tell me that all depression is not a chemical imbalance.