/sci/ - Science & Math

Nearly finished my first year of med school here and i think i fucked up. growing up medicine has been all ive ever known but now that im here... It has been absolute hell and i want to kill myself on a daily basis. I am not as smart as i thought. in fact i think i have gotten dumber since starting. i just cant retain information. i have mentally and physically destroyed myself. I am barely passing as is and already have to retake a whole block this summer. no idea what to do about research because i am too autistic to ask and am already genuinely concerned about failing step. What the fuck do i do. I dont want to fail but I regret my decision coming here.
>>14532069
i swear i am dead last in my class. i cope by realizing that although i am at the bottom of the barrel, this barrel sits upon the top shelf of society. its easy to lose perspective of what you know, who you are, and where you stand compared to the rest of the world. dont judge yourself by your ability to compete with the others.