/sci/ - Science & Math

Woke up today at 4 am with terrible pain in my chest, lasted for about 10 mins. RHR was very low, probably 40 bpm with irregular beats and palpitations in the back of my neck, heart felt wonky as shit. Scary, tho' expected considering the amount of bike cycling I've done since New Year's Eve. Physically I'm a trainwreck. I have frost bite damage on each of my fingers on hands and toes, my lips are almost bloody (looks like I might even be developing H. simplex infection, we'll see), I have tendonitis of my heel tendon, I'm limping... None of this is stopping me tho'. I'll give my best to biohack my way out of this damage before I stop to heal. Decided to further reduce the Memantine dose to 10 mg since the function isn't decreasing anyways. The goal is to reduce it to 1 mg without noticing a reduction in function then continue this dose for the rest of my life. Omitted Nicotine and CDP choline from the stack to limit the cardiac risk. The effects of the stack appear to be permanent, I'm a new man, or the man I should have become if I was never depressed and autistic. I have supreme confidence. I maintain eye contact when talking to people no matter how important or pretty. I have lost shame completely, I could talk to Donald Trump like he's my friend. Since I started this experiment not one person has denied any of the favors I ask them (which is highly unusual for me). My levels of motivation, optimism and resilience are 10x stronger than ever. I feel like I'll achieve everything I want if this mental state continues. Working memory has improved since the beginning of the experiment, tho' it's not perfectly sticky. I've begun making to do lists and executing them. I feel like a supersoldier on a mission. I am no longer a slave or reality, I'm taming reality until it becomes my bitch and does what I tell her.

>tfw want this
>tfw can't have it, too masculine anyways
>tfw hate it now
>tfw would likely violently butcher any woman who entertains this fantasy who shows herself as vulnerable to me