/sci/ - Science & Math

how do I make my penis bigger? I need LEGIT treatments! I don't care if its a penis pump, pills, cream, surgery WHATEVER. But it has to be permanent!
I went home with this one chick last night and before we had sex, she looked at my dick and laughed an left. It's 5 inches long i think thats pretty big but it needs to be BIGGER! Help sci!

Hey /sci/, I need an engineering design software, preferrably free, or at least one with a trial period. Needs to be able to have 3D design (able to create 3D parts and put them together), and can calculate stresses on different parts when you punch in different conditions. Working on something new, but I need to be able to check things first on the computer.
inb4 gay engineer shit, because honestly, if you save gay porn to your hard drive just to make fun of "gay" engineers, you are gayer than any engineer in history.

Marry one, kill one, fuck one.

Nikola Tesla, Carl Sagan, Louis Pasteur.

Telescope's trip is Telescope##celestron

Now get out faggot

Science joke thread.
I'll start
So an electrical engineer walks into a bar (inb4 gay porn shitstorm) and there's a dielectric physicist sitting there. So the engineer walks up to the physicist and says, "You know, we are a lot alike. We both study the fascinating world of electricity!" To which the dielectric physicist says, "No, we are not very alike at all."
"Why is that?"
"Because, when I am calculating the capacitance of a capacitor, I do not necessarily always take into account the voltage and current of the applied circuit!"
Your turn.

Lemme axe you a question /sci/

what type of axe is best for chopping up Candlejack?
Also, I said Candlejack. Fuck you. Only newfags do that gay shit where candlejack kills them
CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK

How do those Dyson Bladeless fans work?

The other thread is about to 404, so I'll post a new one. Here's my character's story.
>Born a male in a rural village in Mexico. Parents are dirt poor, but I'm very intelligent
>Get an advanced degree in mathematics, get drafted for one year into Mexican military
>Emigrate to US. Get a job as a doctor (lolwut)
>Get married, have a son named Aaron.
>Raking in $17,000 a month. Aaron graduates from High School, his girlfriend gets an advanced degree in Anthropology
>Live the next few years without incident
>Living with House, Food, and Spending maxed out, giving small amounts to charity
>All of my family has diabetes except for me, I develop it a year later
>Son is working as a medical lab technician, girlfriend is a scientist
>Die at age 69 from diabetes
>Net worth of $3,000,000
Fuck yeah.

I have a question. I love electronics, and I'm not poor, but I can't afford all of the tools I need. The big one being an oscilloscope. So far, almost all of the oscilloscopes I have seen start at ~$1,000. I don't have the money to spare to make that shit, and I can't haul my computer downstairs so I can use a USB oscilloscope. Is there any way I can make a very basic, very simple oscilloscope to perform standard diagnoses and repairs on electronic circuits?

I'm fucking sick and tired of all these damned troll threads. Put your fucking ego aside /sci/, and let them fucking 404! This goes for all sad depressed girl threads, religion threads, and obvious trolls! DON'T FUCKING REPLY TO THEM!!!!!!!

Saging my own thread because this shouldn't be on the front page. Just quit fucking replying to troll threads! Put your fucking bulbous ego aside assholes!

Here is a puzzle for you.

I am red, and blue,
I eat no shoe, or you
I have three dicks, no chicks
I have no mass, yet am everywhere
What am I?

Ok, /sci/, let's see how smart you are.

Susy has 5 apples. Johnny has 3 apples. Johhny says "I have 2 apples." Susy says "You have 3 apples, dumbass."
Why is Susy wrong?

Riddle me this, /sci/, what are the chances of me getting the same side every time on a quarter if I throw it 3 times?