/lit/ - Literature

>>1128384
>abandoned off-world colony
>worshipping AI

8/10, this is sci-fi I wouldn't mind reading.

>>1128322
maybe do a double twist and have it be an observation log/guardian angel POV? Yeah, pretty lame too... Perhaps a neutral figure would be best?

>>1128338
:(

>>1128315
7/10

At first I thought it was going to end in the girl at the end being the root of his powers, because she didn´t like seeing him so spineless, but a bildungsroman fueled by divinity is fine too. Cool potential.

>>1128249
>>1128296
It's a good twist but you need a story to support it.

>>1128286
>mad seer story set in present times
>not too bad

6/10 for base idea, but I'm finding it hard to grasp the potential of this because you present it as purely inner struggle and that's not easy to represent for an entire story.

>>1128274
It sounds vaguely steampunkish and the idea of the Order reminds me of Wanted (movie, not the comic). Perhaps the narrative would be improved with a dash of detective fiction?

>>1128272
Thank you, kind sir! :)

>>1128259
7/10. Sounds kind of generic parody though.

>>1128243
not sure if serious...

>>1128242

-> >>1127911

Also my face when I just lost with pocket aces to quads.

>>1128224
>mfw when I did, but without my name

Well this was fun, guys, but there's this poker tournament over there in my taskbar and... well you know.

Also,
>mfw no one commented on my story

>>1128199
7/10. Points off for ridiculous tagline

>and must make a decision between what is grey, and what is gray

but sounds decent enough.

>>1128194
picrelated/10

>>1128162
2/10. Meh. Sounds like a chapter of Hack/Slash.

>>1128153
>1984 rehash
>media is bad!

Meh. 4/10. You just described a setting.

>>1128147
6/10, sounds funny.

>>1128127
1/10 hipster bullshit

>>1128082
0/10 to poster because I've already seen this copypasted idea in another thread. 6/10 for the actual story.

>>1128073
7/10, sounds great.

>>1128071
>only a situation, not a story
>difficult to see what kind of tension there would be

5/10 because potential.

>>1128067
8/10. Potential is good, characters are suitably tragic. Would read.

>>1128055
Sounds good. Would read.