/lit/ - Literature

ENTIRE THING IN .epub:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SFR61KVJ

Copyright 1901 H.G. Wells feat RZA and Dr. Dre What no Genius? Tha Gza gets no credit? Fuck all
y’all niggas.

CHAPTER XXXTHE ONE BEFORE OP GETS SOME FUCKING SLEEP (Also known as, the commencing of Moot)

He poised upon the mountain, and descended into the revelries of the war-torn city below. As the
gaze of the soldiers rose up to face the side of the great rock they were greeted by the sight of an
angel, it’s masculine yet gentle figure and great, outstretching wings silhouetted against the
blazing sun. They opened fire, but the bullets simply were directed back at those firing. The
refracted bullets tore holes through their smocks until they resembled swiss cheese.
He extended his hands, and the blaring of the sun grew greater still, until the men could see no
more.

“I shall destroy the world of old and create one pure, one of good, balance, order and justice.”

From the ends of his extended fingers came a flash of light, and from the cities of 4chania to the
slums of Deviantartica, the furries were obliterated, every strand of synthetic hair consumed by
heavenly flames.
The great white light burned brighter and brighter as the entire world was engulfed by it’s healing
rays.

The world was pure once more.

The end.

(Now fuck off.)

The girl, who had so foolishly performed the ritual of scat invocation, was savaged by the horde of
demons for long hours. They took it in turn to desecrate her body: no orifice was left untouched.
Even the Marquis joined in, laughing gaily with the rest of the demons as he unfurled his bathrobe
and thrust his cock into the girl’s ear. He enjoyed the sensation that came from ravaging her
eardrum, and allowing the viscous inner ear fluid drip into his urethra.
 
He struggled to think of a pun on “cock” and “cochlea”, but came up blank. His mind was clouded
with animal lust.
 
“THE JETS THE JETS THE JETS,” he called out.
“(gb2 /sp/),” replied the demon next to him.
“No!” he said, “you don’t understand!”
He raised a quivering finger to point at the sky, where a formation of aeroplanes was swooping in
low, headed straight towards them.
 
Beneath their wings they bore a familiar insignia, which struck fear into the Marquis’ heart: the
four-leafed clover.
 
There came a terrible din from the heavens, and the sound reverberated across the site of the
rape. There was not a daemon who could draw his vision away from the what had manifested itself
in the sky. Amidst the smoke left by the jets had appeared a divine figure, entirely nude save for his
golden headdress. It was Moot, the judicator of the tubes.

“Aha!” declared the daemon behind her. “The freshly-squeezed shit of a young maiden, I shall dine
well tonight!” he stooped down, and the girl felt the creature’s sand paper tongue rasping between
her thighs as he hungrily lapped the shit from her legs. Whilst this outrage was proceeding, the
cock in her mouth had taken on a steady, reciprocating motion, and she grunted in time with the
creature’s thrusts. She could feel her stomach urging, and was losing the will to prevent herself
from vomiting.
 
Without warning, wearing a tattered bathrobe, the Marquis de Sade arrived. He carried a machine
gun which fired dildos and he wore a monocle which blazed with red, furious anger. He twirled hismoustache deviously, raising an eyebrow at the scene before him. Shit-smell filled his lungs, love
filled his heart. He took aim with the phallic weapon, and fired at the girl while laughing so hard
snot was coming out of his nose. She was hit directly in the spine with one of the plastic dicks, and
paralyzed instantly. Her spinal fluid began fountaining out of her, lubricating the barrel of his
devious sexual device.
 
At the precise instant of the projectile’s impact the girl vomited, spewing a thick plume of dark
brown puke over the cock of the demon before her. It did not even break its rhythm of face-rape,
and continued in the same manner as before as chunks of the girl’s vomit oozed from her lips. A
trickle of yellow bile ran from her nostril, forming a droplet which hung motionless for an instant
before falling to the ground, forming a tiny crater in the dust.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” she cried. “I was only supposed to summon you, why is the sky
FILLED WITH DEMONS?”
 
And before a reply could be offered, at least a dozen of the airborne fiends descended upon her,
talons glinting, cocks flailing in the downdraft of their powerful wings. The foremost of the group
was already becoming turgid, and his beastly member had swollen into a throbbing, bright red
tumescence which he brandished at her lewdly as he swaggered towards her. She could smell the
puss dripping out of the numerous sores plaguing the cock which was now aimed at her lips like a
.357 magnum.
 
 
CHAPTER XXXXIXIXI (BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER WAS GETTING TOO LONG)
 
And with that, the daemon was upon her. One of its kindred grappled her from behind, holding her
immobile while the steely cock of the first bumped up against her lips. It placed one if its gigantic
hands either side of her face, and eased itself inwards, forcing her mouth open with its impossibly
rigid penis. She felt the tip bump against the back of her throat, and let out a muffled retching
sound. It sounded like she was saying something, but no one around her could decipher what it was.
She shit in fear, the poo poo running down her legs, filling her knee high socks, similar to those
found in animes.

With that, the ritual was complete, and the child’s fragile body was rent in twain as the daemon
materialised within its bowels, emerging to full size amid a cloud of blood and torn fragments of
flesh. Its skin was a rich ochre, and atop its head was a black top-hat, polished to a glossy shine. It
regarded the girl inquisitorially, drawing on its corncob pipe and puffing a ring of pale blue smoke
which dissolved away into the still air.
 
“My name is Ayn Rand,” he said, “I come bearing horns.”
 
Seven hundred miles away, an executive of the Cartoon Network stirred momentarily in his sleep,
muttering “Ren and Stimpy, I love Ren and Stimpy”, but did not wake.
Ayn Rand began playing “Chainsaw Gutsfuck” and pulled out his brass penis that was shaped like a
bass saxophone. The girl gasped when she saw the size of it. She was completely in awe of his
metallic member, and could already feel herself becoming moist.
“I’m moist” she whispered juicily.
Ayn cupped one hand to his ear, unable to hear the girl over the deafening cacophany.
“Whassat you say, love?” he said.
 
“IM MOIST ( ._.)!” she exclaimed with her english-speaking butthole. Ayn was taken aback by this display of absurd anatomical impossibility. His brow wrinkled in
consternation, and the blaring death metal gradually fizzled out until the only sound that remained
was a solitary snare drum, its beat gradually decreasing.
“tsh.... tsh....”
And then demons flooded the red sky, blotting out the sun’s light.
“Prepare you anus!!!”

CHAPTER BROTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING IIX (Fuck Roman Numerals)THE Horns SCENE(The One
with the SCAT){HEY bro, they all have scat. SCAT SCATTY SCAT SCAT ASS SCAT AND SCAT.}
 If you do not love turds, your life will flash by. The girl reassured herself with these wise words
before she squatted down on the sidewalk, and grunted joylessly. She could feel her anus
distending painfully, and within moments a broad cylinder-shaped cluster of feces was oozing out
of her, and curling in(sic)to a bloody pile on the grey concrete. Her mucosa twitched and she let
out a shitty laugh into the night air, summoning the scat demons with codified incantations
mumbled in between her disgusting farts. Her butthole played the 9th shitphony by
Beethoven.>implying beethoven is good I wasn’t implying that. Internal monologue is the secret to
a delicious story.>implying internal monologue isn't redundant. >implying implications imply
meaning.
 
There was one more part of the ritual to complete, however, before the demons materialised She
turned a three quarter-circle, awkwardly waddling into position before reaching a hand into the
stinking pile and grabbing a fistful of the faeces (britfag detected) . She held it up to her face, and
inhaled its rich, earthy odour. Trembling with anticipation, she opened her mouth and crammed it
in, while a blast of heavenly music erupted from her bloody butthole. Narrowly fitting it into her
mouth, but at the same time laughing from joy, the liquefied scat shot through both of her
nostrils, spraying an abandoned child who conveniently lay in swaddling clothes on the sidewalk.
“LIAR” She screamed and splattered more dookie-dough onto the orphan’s snotty impoverished
face.

MY LANDLADY IS PHONE.
 
“Landlady who is phone, collect my change from the dresser drawer and call me a cab!”
“Yessir boss. Youz a cab.”
“NIGGER LADY GGRRRRR!”
 
 
CHAPTRE FVCKING VII
“where da hood at” Malcom X (dead nigger)
 
Religious faith. Belief in demons (NOTE: See Tom Hanks), belief in spirits (NOTE: See 100 proof
wodka), belief in an afterlife and all trappings of a preternatural existence, simply existed to make
us all more comfortable and content in the face of an immeasurable cosmos. They were sops,
bolsters for the soul, crutches for the intellect, prayers and lucky charms to help us through the
darkness. But we have witnessed the cosmos now, my friends. We have passed amongst it. We have
learned and understood the fabric of reality. We have seen the stars from behind, and found they
have no clockwork mechanisms, no golden chariots carrying them abroad. We have realized there is
no need for god, or any gods, and by extension no use any longer for demons or devils or spirits. The
greatest thing mankind ever did was to reinvent itself as a secular culture. Dick mustard in Wal
Mart (How Wal-Mart came to be is an interesting story that I feel adds a greatdepth to this tale.
You see, in ancient Samurai culture, there was no convenient place to buy all your shit 24-7. After a
fierce debate, the seven warlords of Ancient Japan Incorporated decided they had to act.
Unfortunately this didn’t come to much due to the terrible alien invasion of 2:44pm 1996 (The day
Danny Glover died). Fortunately, the aliens brought us Wal-Mart. This is how we live today (with our
greasy alien warlords)) EDIT: THIS NEEDS ONE.

Chaptre VII.V
Officer Nigger-Nigger Catches the Common Cold (The Inconsequential Police Chase)
;I
 
“I nigger, therefore I nigger.”
 
The words of Chuck Norris echoed within Oprah’s head. Her eyes widened suddenly.
 
“MY GOD, DO YOU KNOW THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS?!”
>Implying nyone knows what’s going on
>Implying the universe isn’t absurd
>Implying I actually read Camus
>Implying he existed for more than a relative nanonanosecond.
He replied cynically:
 
“>implying implications”
 
Contemplation is the road to moments and assholes - I love to party, I’m here to party - Arnold
Schwarzenigger licked my cum-flap.
 
Blue moody Sunday. Officer Nigger-Nigger hoppin’ on the jazz train, Liza Minneli on speed
dial(Nigger-Nigger has been stalking her for 400 years) whisky in the petri dish. “Why don’t my
micro-cultures ever learn the western canon? How can I sell my growths on ebay if Harold Bloom
can’t shoot blanks?”
 Nothing happened - wait - nothing happened.
Suddenly, something happened.
It was nothing.
Nothing happened (Inside the cave the penguin brings the bells to ring your neck)
BBBBRRRRRRRRIIINNNGGGGGG!!!!!! (!!!!!!) BBBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!! (!!!!!!)

CHAPTER FUCKING VI: THE ONE THAT FURRIES LIKE TO BLOG ABOUT
 
dOES NE1 DENY THE SUFFRIN OF PEOPLE AND SHIT? HELL NAH, PEOPLE ARE FUCKED.This is John
Galt speaking, Well actually, his mother. THE DAMN GOVERNMENT AND SHIT ARE ALLOWING TEH
RICH TO GET RICHER AND THEY FUCKED. LET ME TELL YOU ONE DAMN STORY.
IT WAS LAST SUMMER WHEN BO RICH CAME AND GAVE ME THE BUSINESS, YEAH I SUCKED SOME
DICK, BUT IM A CRACK HEAD NIGGA. “LISTEN HERE BO RICH, YOU BITCH ASS HOUSE NIGGA”, I CRIED,
“IM GET YO G.E.D. YO BROKE ASS HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA, ROLL IT UP INTO A BLUNT AND SMOKE IT
IN YO FACE BIEETCH.” TAKEN ABACK WAS THE VENERABLE BO RICH, STAMMERED FOR THE
SLIGHTEST MOMENT DID BO RICH, HE REPLIED: “IMMA CUT YOU IN THE FROAT WITH AN AOL DISCYOU KIKE ASS BITCH ASS NIGGA.”
Indeed my friends it is obvious here, Bo Rich is the villain and John Galt’s mother is the heroine, but
today is opposite day.
LOL COMIC SANs
 
 
THE PART THAT STARTS WITH SONG LYRICS AND ENDS WITH DR. PHIL’S ANUS. ASK YOURSELF WHAT IS
HAPPENING HERE.
 
>IMPLYING ALL WE SAY OR SEEM IS NOT BUT A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM. All that you touch and all
that you see is all that your life will ever be.

Seems like I’m slipping into a dream within a dream(a dream within a dream(within a dream( within a
dream(within my ass(WITHIN A DREAM)))). Fucking OPRAH and DR. PHIL. HOLLA!
 
That was when Oprah got a hardoff (NOTE: it smelled like gravy. But not good gravy. It smelled like
the kind of gravy that has been made of shit and pig semen and left out in the sun for a few hours.).
She called it Jefferson; the great black power. Jefferson always puckered up when she smoked the
dank. The Bitch sat there and took a nice, long inhale of tree. “SHEEEIT, dat nigga, Phil? I’mma show
dat nigga. Gon’ fuck dat asshole all big an’ shit.”
 
Phil sat and watched Oprah smoking the dank. He couldn’t face her eyes and he stared at his pants
around his ankles shamefully. His asshole dripped KY heat and he farted a little of the lube onto his
taken down pants.
 
“Nigga, who tole yo nasty ass to fart an shit?”:o
 
Phil stooped and fingered the lube on his trousers. It was warm and wet and it made his scrotum
tingle with anticipation.
 
“Sheeit. Come’re boy. Time to get dat ass done.”
 
Phil hobbled over to Oprah’s chair and faced away from her. He bent double at the waist andgrabbed his ankles. He breathed in sharp and sharper as Oprah inserted the large black strap on
into Phil’s sphincter.

    A Small Little Tiny Joke
“Woah nigga what da fuck is dis sheet” - Said the wild negro in the forest while holding hes male sex
organ like holding some sort of melee weapon.
“I don’t know hoz” - Said Negro No.² while having sexual relationship with the wild negro (Aka: Negro
no.¹)
He then said the most barbaric touching phrase, probably the most quotable phrase on this silly
book.
“FUCK THIS SHIT” - Negro.
Nothing was the same after that faithful day... There was blood spilled all over the planet while the
rabbits where screaming “Sex! Sex! I need some SOCKS FOR FUCK SAKES”
“Yo what the fuck nig.” - Woah This color SWAPPING sure is COOL.....
“WOOOOOOAH” - said masterfox3000 the guy with a furry name but was actually A HOMOSEXUAL
with multiple dicks.

HAPTER FUCKING V: THE ONE THAT CAME BEFORE IV, BUT AFTER 3.5
 
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. If it were sufficient to love, things would be too
easy. The more one loves, the stronger the absurd grows. It is not through lack of love that Don
Juan goes from woman to woman.”i’m going to sleep with PJ Harvey.” “Pj harvey is a slut” - Nick
cave. The mercy seat is waitin, I feel my butthole burning. AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO DIE.”Dicks”,
proclaimed P.J Harvey, “dicks everywhere.” “Every sex act is rape.” replied Courtney Love’s facehole,
belching out a cloud of crack smoke..
Such are the vain but sage anals of P.J. Harvey, may thou resteth in pieces.
 
There are limited options of creativity. In my case, it always turns into anal belching. I bleached my
ass last night; it stung. But it was worth it for a clean asshole.I worked at a gay strip club once and
had to wax everything. EVERYTHING. What the hell . . . gay hard
GOIN TO THE STORE ABOUT TO BUY A 4loko
In the pharmacy.
“Isn’t it nice to be alone, Tony?”
“Hey, bitch! Shaddapayaface! My crotch is getting cold, GET TO IT!”“Oh, Tony. I love the way you scream.”
“I love the way you scream too, sweetheart. I love the way you scream too. . . “
“I want you to poop into this blender.”
“okay lol” she moaned
*poop poop poop*
They laughed and drained highballs of strychnine.

Chapter IV (of Yorkshire)
--IN WHICH SHIT GOES DOWN--
--between Don Quixote and the windmills which consequently-- --leads to events of lesser
importance--
 
It was a tempestuous autumn day: clouds of orange leaves danced through the air, driven byimpossibly strong winds. As they mixed with the torrential rain, the formed a miserable, mulchy,
airborne slop that plastered itself across every bare surface. It was the day the poop took a pee,
and the boy opened a Warhead package of candies and saw that there was a purple one so he threw
that shit out the window.
 
Hmmm... Tasty shit out of the window! Fresh and steamy it was indeed. It landed upon the head of a
gondolier who was plying his trade in the canal outside, causing him to lose his balance. With a shrill
cry, he toppled into the water and disappeared beneath the waves, his boat gliding onwards,
propelled by its momentum and carrying its cargo of oblivious passengers onwards into the
unknown.
 
SUDDENLY GIANTS or so the boy thought... But it was actually goombas from Super Mario Bros. and
Legend of Zelda. After watching such amazing things he played Halo on hes Nintendo
Entertainment System. NOTHING WAS THE SAME AFTER THAT DAY.
 
Except of course for the fate of the forlorn ferrets. Forever are they doomed to their mortality,
within the face of the innumerable and boundless depth of Cthulhu.

Chapter 3.75
The Homicide; or Return of the Ferret
 
The clock banged as grey matter plastered across the stonework wall. The light-less room
flickered for an instant and returned to its natural state. A cool draft came about in the stead of
black powder and burnt flesh, signifying the escape from the closed window.
The clock cracked as the door splintered apart from the onslaught of the determined. The light
less room was molested by a perversion of photons. Flashlights. A cool draft circled the aroma of
opened cavities and decay began to take hold of the mangled corpse of the ferret. A long drawn
cigarette hung in it’s furry mouth, he only got a few drags before it was over for him. 26 hours ago a
ferret’s silhouette took the place of the blood splatter on the stonework wall, 26 hours ago a
ferret opened a window for his salvation and understood the meaning of it, if only temporarily. 26
hours ago an assassin ferret took his place outside that fated window, answering a whispered plea.
26 hours later, the moonlight was drowned by the querying ferret police flashlights.
The victim was J.G. Ferretworth and the suspect needed cash now, because it was his money.
 
26 hours later the assassin perched on 25th and Martin Ferret King Blvd. At an old shit hole: Ball
With a Tail Diner.
He liked his bitches like he liked his ferret grain kernels, beige and full of oats.
“Same shit different ferret.”
He wasn’t no ordinary goon, the mob boss rat son-uva-bitch Tony Ratsprano ran things around here,
but not him. No never him.
He left his last contract where he stood, this will send a message to all you rat bastards. Any snitch
ferret is a dead ferret.

Chapter 3.5
 a chance meeting
 
The pharmacy was a grey building of bleak concrete, erected in error due to a mis-filed document
in city planning. It stood alone the deformed child of beurocracy, its only neighbours the cactuses
of the surrounding, scrubby desert and a sixty-foot hole left as the result of an over-enthusiastic
demolitions training exercise by the local defense forces.
 
The girl walked silently along the dilapidated sidewalk, her eyes darting between the menacing hole
and the menacing cacti. It was then that she laid her eyes on her hope for a normal day, as the
pharmacy owned by Jason Segal came into view.
 
“Finally!” she exclaimed. She was long overdue for her medication - the cacti around her were
starting to twist into alien shapes, and she was sure some of them were talking to her in an
unintelligible language. She walked through the doorway of the pharmacy, and it transiently
morphed into a gigantic, gaping mouth that swallowed her into the store’s interior: all bright lights
and polystyrene ceiling tiles, and standing there, behind a promotional display of thrush
medications, was Segal himself.
 
Beside the famous actor, however, was someone - or something - that she had not expected. His -
or its, she could not tell which - hair was matted, dark with blood and what seemed to be a white
powder. It was then that she realized that it was the forlorn boy she had seen in the hotel, here in
her pharmacy. 
xxx

Introspective Interlude of Retrospective Views Upon the Archaic Ruminations of Philosophers from
a Bygone Era
 
“A nigga fart in he own mouth... a shameful nigga.”
-Confuscious
 
“If you loot and nobody notices, are you still a looter?”
-Ayn Rand, famous cheap scat whore
 
“Stevie wonder is a jive ass nigger.”
-Tao Lin,
 
“Tao Lin was my sweet ass bitch in nam´”
-Stevie Wonder
 
“Fucking negroes and non anglo-saxons ruin everything”
-H.P. Lovecraft
 
“Wow...I don't know who's writing most of that story, but it's terrible. /b/ level humor and just plain
not funny.”
-Anonymous
 
“If you don’t think too good, don’t think too much.”- Yogi Berra
 
“ITT: faggotry”
- Anonymous
 
“It’s dangerous to go alone.”
Old Man in the Cave
 
“Op is a fag.”
-OP

Half Life II: EPISODE THREE
 
GabeN ate Episode Three.

CHAPTER II: EPISODE TWO
 
The golem loomed behind him, growing ever closer.
“I’ve been drowning too long to believe that the tide’s going to turn.” he thought “Yet I do not
despair and whatever fate’s judgement might be, I embrace it and relish.” He dived out through the
doorway, with the golem in pursuit but with the help of some deus ex machina the golem suddenly
fell into a dark pit and vanished. The Dracula-Woman floundered amidst the ferrets, soon to be
forgotten. Or was she...? The most important notice is that no one in the kingdom of the hipsters,
Gave one single fuck.
 
As he started up the stairs the concierge knocked on the glass of the door of her lodge, and as he
stopped the most beautiful being came out of a door to his left. He thought, “I will wear the gold
hat, if that will move her. If I can bounce high, bounce for her too, till she would cry ‘Lover, gold
hatted, high bouncing lover, I must have you!’” All the while the girl, with her deep ocean blue eyes,
just stared at him, wondering why he had a ferret with him.
 
“What on earth am I saying? Or thinking?” the boy murmured to himself. He shit all over his parents.
All fucking OVER them. “I’ve clearly become quite deranged, because not one of the things I’ve said
makes an iota of sense. Perhaps I need to self-medicate.” He wandered off in search of a pharmacy,
with a new sense of purpose in mind.
He soon wandered out the hotel, with the golem audibly thrashing away inside, his penis probably
loves the inside of the phony Dracula. But never fear, Jason Segal is here.“What the fuck Jason
Segal?” The boy screamed, visibly afraid  in of the hulking man in front of him. Suddenly, a new
character was introduced to the reader! “Are you a pharmacist? I need the strongest shit you gotman. I totally blew it with this hot chick earlier. Got anything to help me out?”

“FUCK!” he screamed, “it is a golem conjured by the jews, come to devour me!” Moments later the
sound of his voice was drowned out by the cracking of his bones as the golem masticated his spine.
Bone powder erupted from the indescribable creature’s ferocious fangs, which were long and
glistening with the late doctor’s blood, which ran down his face as he is DE-CAP-I-TATE-D the poor
doctor.
 
The boy cast his gaze about the room, trying to search for a means of escape. There was no way he
could understand the sudden incursion of ferrets that seemed to have overtaken the scene:
dozens of the furry creatures swarmed about his ankles, hindering his slow progress as he waded
towards the FERRET. He ground them underfoot, and they let out pathetic squealing noises as
their fragile bodies were crushed to useless, twitching squirrels beneath his feet. With some
effort, he reached the door, which, to his consternation, he found to be locked.

She called his mother into his bedroom and demanded her clothing removed. She slowly removed
her sweater, revealing her polka-dotted bra. She did such and it was good. The odour from beneath
her legs made him all fuzzy inside and the erection was throbbing inside his lace panties. She took
off her mask to reveal the horrendous truth, she was in fact...
 
Count Dracula.
(DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!)
 
The boy produced a large, greasy steak from his underwear, clutching it in his hands as if it were a
sword. “HAVE AT YOU!” He exclaimed as he charged forward. He aimed for her chest as he speed
forth with the grace of a thousand wizards. Sadly he soon realized his tender meat was not enough
to penetrate Dracula and more would be needed in order to forever banish him to the deep ice of
Inferno. He challenged Dracula to a game of cards but not just any cards, Yu-Gi-Oh! And a high
stakes match it was, for the loser would suffer DEATH BY VAGINAS! Oh, the tension in that room!
The world trembled from the struggle of the two wills.
 
Reluctantly Dr Kevorkian came in and interrupted the life or death game, exclaiming, “I know this
woman is not Dracula! Quit playing that silly game boy!”
 
“There is no time to be lost,” continued Dr. Kevorkian. “Even now, jabberwocks roam the streets,
intent on devouring every man and woman whom they encounter! What is to be done to stop this
terrible plague!?” as if to emphasise his point, he slammed his fist onto the desk, overturning a pile
of newspaper clippings which tumbled to the floor like confetti. And what cock it was, spewing
across the wood floor like and unstoppable flood.
 Thege golem.

CHAPTER II
THE PART IN WHICH THE ALMIGHTY FAGGOTY ONE’S KID COMES TO TOWN 
The new millenia beckoned, and the people, half enthusiastic and half terrified of the prophetic
words of the Faggoty One, waited the coming of the child.
 
Within the behemoth vagina of Cthulu was a fetus who would grow to be queen. Her name was
Moot. He told his people,
 
 “T̬͍Ḫ̤̗͓̠̺͘Ę̟̥͔͈̟͖ ҉̲̩͈E͜N҉̟͚̬D̞̰S ̗̦̩͕̲H҉̭̼͇̱̣ͅA̶̝̜͇̟̭̲͈V̵͍͍̙̼E̸̹ ̺̟̩̖̖R̞͉͕̫̹̯̫͝E̫̼͉M͎̦̰̬À̞̪I̘̝͖̭̪̟̱N̞̞̠̼̗͠E̪͍D͔͜ ̮̠̬̲̥T̬̦̹͍H̩̼͔E̛ ̟̪̟̳̖͚S̡͚̟̠̞͚͓̗A̟̟̙̺͙̹M̤̹̱͕E̵͍̯̣̰,̞̯̟̗̹̪ ̡͚͙O̴͓͈N̤͓̮̟̲L͉̼̻Ỳ͇͚̟͓̟̺̗ ̪̳͕A̭̩͙M͏̰̤B͎͙I̢̻̮TI̞̟̘̝͇O̷̠͚̥͍͎͙N͚̜̞͈̞̥ ̢̮̻̠͍̟̺̲HÁ̻̰̝͉̳Ș̜̪̪͚ ҉͇͍̪I͠N̴̩͖͍̻̣̙C̰̪̼̳̤̗̕R̨̮͕̞̞E͉͟A͔̺̟͉S̷͉̲̰̠͓̮̩Ḛ̖̠͙̗̲D;͔
͓̼̥̰ ̠̞͔͍̰̟̯T͇̬̣̫͓̬̥͡H͙͇͉̥E̼
̺̖̕T̢͕H̴̙̩̱O̢͎U̹̗̘G̘̥̻̩͎͙̦H̩̻͎Ț ͏̗̠͇̺Ḩ͎̺͖ͅA̪͙̼̞̼̭̥͢S̯̹̭̲ ̥̤̫̦̮̠͘B̷̘E̺̯̙C͓̮͈Ó̹͖̩̼̖M̨̠̫̼̟̭̥̯E̬̞̰͇͈͟ ̖̯̪̠͍͍D͠Y̛̻̲̘̲̤̖̥N̺̹̥͇ÁM͇͈͓̘͠I̟̦̞̩͕͉͝C̱̼,̸̝̱̲ ̠̤̪̪͎͍̣͝R̠̼ͅE͎͓͜A̻̠̩̘̯S͖̣͈̗̯̺ON̠̗͉̠̙͕ ̝͓̙̼H̤A͔͖͖S̳̪̼͍̯̤͡ ̩̩͞Ẹ̬̙̻̱̰ͅM͓͝B̘̭̗̲̜̠͎R̝̞̣A͔̦͎̳C̨E̺̥̰͙͈̜̣D̠̟́ ̶̹̝͉̮ͅT͇̺̜̙H̺̘E̗̰̥̤̤̥͍ ̗̯͎̪͚F̟U̶̜͔T̰̭̙͖̹̮U̘̲R̵̬̼̮̮͔͍ͅE̗̱̭ ̰͍̦͖̯͕͟T̛̺̬͍H̦̹̰̭̀A̸̗̺̪̬Ţ̞̝̪ ̗̺̱̳̦̺͚͠I̶͓̭͍̺̬S̳͙̭͚ ̭̥̱̩̪ÇŢ̳̺̼H̫̹Ú̗͕͇Ḻ̳͕̩̠͓H̴̫U̟̞̩̟͖̻ ̖̯̫̬A̶͎̺̥̮N̖̠͍̯̪ͅD̖̬͖̮
̟͘A҉̦̼͚̻̹͇͔S̹̤̞̙ͅP͟I̗͙̘͓̤̰ͅR̨͚̙͓̹̰͔ED͙͖̭͔̮̻͖ ͍̝̕T̨̰̭̼̗̭̠H̜̣E̫̹͓̩̘ ̸͈C̪O̤͜NQ͖͇̩̮̟͝U̟̠̙̗̥͟É̝̬̦S͚̟͕͓̟Ţ.͏̠͓̩ͅ”

CHAPTER I
THE ONE IN WHICH THE ALMIGHTY FAGGOTY ONE MAKES HIS FIRST APPEARANCE
 
A gay OP appears. He prayed to the false sun god, Nostradadumbass, to deliver his daily sauce and
bring him from evil and not lead him into temptation. His mom answered with a swift b&. He is an
vengeful god.
 
This was when the skies opened up in a cacophony of glorious sound and the ground rumbled to
announce the coming of the Almighty Faggoty One. Slowly, the clouds morphed into a shape and
from these clouds emerged the face of God himself:
 
 
“PROBLEM, MORTALS?”
 
Beckoned a great voice from above. The /b/tards screamed in fear of the awesome power of the
Almighty Faggoty One.
 
“SO, GUYS, IMMA LIKE SEND DOWN MY KID FOR YOU GUYS YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM FOR A WHILE, K?
HE’LL BE THERE IN ABOUT 1000 YEARS OR SO LOLOL”
 
 
The trembling of the earth stopped. The people slept restlessly, knowing the coming of the
Faggoty One’s child.