/lit/ - Literature

With Gatsby in theaters again, and all this talk of books being made into movies, it leaves me asking the question:

Where is my big-budget, relatively CGI-heavy version of Moby Dick, with Daniel Day-Lewis as Captain Ahab? You KNOW he'd be utterly perfect for the role.

I mean, Moby Dick's been made into a movie before (I think), but I think we're due for a modern version.

>>3675407

See, I was kind of thinking that's how it was. Seems like the kind of thing a sociopath like Humbert would do.

>>3675398

Either he's lying/twisting the story to his advantage, or his perception is so fucked up that he viewed said events in such a manner to put less blame on himself.

GET IT ON AUDIOBOOK.

The audiobook is fantastic, and read by an all-star cast (Mark Hamill, Rob Reiner, John Turturro, etc).

I'm only part of the way through Part 2, and some of the events in this book seem entirely too convenient to what Humbert wants out of life:

>Oh, you wish Charlotte were dead? Well, don't worry, we'll have her get accidentally hit by a car! Lucky Humbert!
>Oh, you're worried about forcing sex on Lo and taking her virginity? Oh, wait, as it turns out, she already had sex with a boy several times at camp! And, as it turns out, she'll agree to have sex with you in the first place! Lucky Humbert!

Sometimes when I masturbate I think of tacos. George Wallace and Michael McKean once fucked in a vat of mango chutney. Politics is largely irrelevant and devastating in its importance. The basket of apples I left on the table has turned into an ostrich. No matter what I do it'll be the same as before. Sweet ham sandwich of alabaster pearly clamshell that is one decadent yet tiresome tomato. Loans officers drive cars and think about terror on a daily basis.

Here's a little something I'm working on.

So, I just finished Steppenwolf.

Does /lit/ like Herman Hesse?

Dylan
Dylan
Dylan
Dylan
and Dylan

Because I spit hot fire.

>The Bun Also Rises

Hemingway's take on masculinity and baking bread.

>Suggestions for book changes

/lit/ - INFINITE GODDAMN JEST, GODDAMNIT (or perhaps Farenheit 451)
/v/ - Ready Player One
/mlp/ - Black Beauty
/ck/ - Kitchen Confidential

Found a picture of OP.

"Big Boy Leaves Home" is one of the more powerful short stories I've read in recent years.

I've always wanted to read Lolita because I've heard good things about it, but I have this weird feeling that I'm going to end up on some kind of government watchlist if I buy it or check it out from the library.

>>3032929

I FUCKED THE FARTS OUTTA YEH, NORA

>Last
Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift

>Current
Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

>Next
A Cook's Tour by Anthony Bourdain
The Great Gatsby (want to re-read it before the movie comes out)
I Sing the Body Electric! by Ray Bradbury

>Last audiobooks
Paper Towns by John Green
I Drink for a Reason by David Cross
Looking for Alaska by John Green

>Current audiobook
The New New Rules by Bill Maher

>Next audiobooks
The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
World War Z by Max Brooks
Too Fat to Fish by Artie Lange

Have you read Transmetropolitan?

If not, FUCKING READ TRANSMETROPOLITAN.

>2012
>Not reading Jonathan Swift

I seriously hope you Yahoos don't do this.

>>3006588

“BLOOD!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!” I screamed as I ran out of the bathroom. As I threw the door open, I saw the blinding light again, and I was knocked unconscious.

When I awoke, I was lying on the floor of the upstairs hallway. I frantically climbed off of the floor and rushed into my bedroom, locking the door as I went. I panted heavily as I went to bed. I looked at my alarm clock. It shone “2:27 AM” in the same, red numbers. Could this have been a dream? I thought to myself. Could this have been a hallucination? Oh well, no time for that now, I’ve got to get some sleep.

“Good night, Josh,” an eerie vocie whispered to me, followed by wicked laughter. I fell asleep in a cold sweat.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Damn my alarm clock! I thought, as I climbed out of bed. After doing my normal morning routine, such as my shower and such, I walked downstairs in my socks. I decided to get some apple juice from the fridge, but as I entered the kitchen, I slipped and fell on some spilled, liquid substance. Cursing to myself, I looked, saw what the slippery substance was, and gasped, taken aback in horror.

A pool of blood stained the tile of the kitchen floor...

THE END of "Voices in the Darkness, part 1"

>I mean, really? "Voices in the Darkness?" Fucking godDAMN, 15-year-old me. CHRIST.

>>3006586

This man was missing half of his face! The lower-right portion of his face was a skull and muscles, and maggots festered in the crevices of his face. Frightened, I ran for the laundry room and locked the door as quickly as my shaking hands could lock it. As I turned slowly around, expecting some more weird creatures to come out of the woodwork, I saw a strange, blue light emmenating from the bathroom. For some strange reason, some odd, unseen force compelled me to wander into the bathroom, so I figured that I might as well do so.

The dank, fetid bathroom smelled of an unusual odor, like a candle mixed with the aroma of putrid flesh. I decided to turn on the lights. This blue light was okay, but it didn’t help me to see any better. As I inhaled the air around me through my nostrils, I noticed that the foul stench was coming from the bathtub. Slowly, I opened the shower curtain.

A corpse of a woman lay soaking in a pool of blood in the bathtub! Horrified, I tried to scramble out of the bathroom, away from this nightmare, but my nightshirt was being tugged by something. I turned around, and the undead woman rose up out of the tub of blood, her hand still grasping my sleeve. She shouted one word at me.

>>3006584

Okay, I thought, that’s weird. I could’ve sworn I just heard Jonas crying in the kitchen. Jonas is my little brother, by the way. One of them. Eric’s the other, the heavy sleeper. Anyway, relieved that the crying child was just Jonas in the midst of one of his regular sleepwalking bouts, I decided to head into the kitchen to escort him back upstairs to his bedroom.

All of a sudden, a terrifying beast leapt out at me as I entered the kitchen. It had bright, red, glowing eyes that shone like demonic rubies in the night. Massive wings sprouted from its back, and, with a tremendous swipe of its horrible claws, it knocked me to the floor. Winded, I tried to stand back up, absolutely bewildered as to what was going on. As the gargoyle-like creature stood over me, I watched as it screamed out in victory and a vicious claw swiped for my face. Then, a blinding flash of light blinded me for a second, and the beast was gone. I looked at the digital clock in the hallway. Its face shone “2:57 AM” in neon green numbers.

Okay, I thought, what the hell is going on? First, Jonas lures me into the kitchen by crying, then some sort of demon attacks me? I swear, when I get my hands on him, I’ll...

A new noise interupted my thoughts. I could’ve sworn I heard a door slam shut. Also, footsteps were walking down the stairs. I’m in for it now, I thought. If that’s Mom, she’ll be furious if she sees me. Out of fear, I hid behind the downstairs couch. The door slowly opened, but what I saw what not a half-asleep Mom entering the door. The figure I saw looked like a man. A tall man. I decided to get a closer look at this mystery person. I turned on the lamp. What I saw was the most horrifying sight I had ever seen.

>I wrote this piece of shit back when I was in high school. It ranks among the worst things I've ever written in my life.
>Enjoy.

I awoke with the taste of blood in my mouth.

“AAARGH!” I screamed to no one in the darkness. I looked over at my alarm clock, which flashed “2:27 AM” in a bright, red hue. Only four more hours until I had to get up for another day of drudgery and schoolwork. Damnit, I thought to myself, this is the last thing I need right now. Apparently, I was having a nosebleed for no damn reason, like I often do. It’s probably a genetic condition, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Since I was awake, I figured I’d get some Kleenex from the hall closet. I stepped out into the hallway and sneakily tiptoed down the hallway as not to wake the rest of my family up. Hopefully, my blood didn’t drip onto the carpet. This was a big nosebleed, not normal in any way. I snatched a few Kleenex from the hall closet and went back to bed.

That’s when I heard it.

“THUMP.”

That’s odd, I thought. A noise coming from the downstairs hallway. I wonder what that could be. I walked downstairs, no longer worried about my family’s sleeping habits. They’re heavy sleepers, anyway, they’ll be fine, I thought. As my bare foot slapped the cold, hardwood floor of the downstairs stairwell, I suddenly heard the loud thump again, followed by the noise of what sounded like a crying child.

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? by Hiroyuki Nishigaki