/lit/ - Literature

>>1500236

Yes, I sent a reply just moments ago

Might as well stop the fun, OP went to sleep already, a good 2 hours ago judging by their last email to me. I see the infamously-pissy denizens of 4chan have awoken, haha

Have a nice night/morning, all. If you're going to moan about the subsequent out-of-context posts, please refer to my two original posts where I explain whats actual wrong with the delivery of the story.

Ah yes, screenplays. The lovely,

INT: 4 CHAN - /LIT/ - MORNING

Why is reader a fag?

>>1500201

Besides the fact that a) I had already addressed the issues the later posters came up with, b) the 'screenplay' (which is more akin to an overly-visual poem, and not truly meant to be either story nor movie) was not meant to draw contract between the novel at all, but instead to provide a basis on which to address their view of a story's faults, depending on their response to the issues that are apparent within the linked story, and c) The poem had absolutely nothing to do with their novel, that is entirely beside the point.

I just love how people have shitfits over things that were never meant to be function to their desired idea in the first place. :P The only reason that story/poem/whatever-it-is was linked to, is in order to establish a connection between the OP's attention to the poem/whatever's faults and their attention to the faults within their own novel.

>>1500159

Hmm, I don't see the steampunk aspect, but I otherwise agree that the dialogue needs a serious re-working. See two original posts.

>>1500181

o_O Quoted/linked to the wrong post, apparently

>>1500180

What the fuck are you reading, indeed.

>>1500167

It is a screenplay. :P Hence the otherwise-ridiculous visual cues of positioning and location, I'd say.

>>1500159

Hahaha, you just quoted me from about 4-5 posts above :P

Aye, the 'desired audience' received it very well, and loved it. Again, it depends who you're writing for, in what situation, and for what purpose. Considering how it was a political short story on the horrors of war and the loss of human rights in the face of an ever-changing world where nations are increasingly militarized while liberties and 'god given rights' dwindle to nothingness, and lives are lost for naught but the greed and sovereignty of a select few, written for a number of friends on the eve of some personal and local protest and deaths of significant peoples, and written by an 18 year old goth kid who fancies himself an amateur psychologist, it wasn't much of a wide-audience reach type of project meant to rile up anything besides a sort of anti-fascist sensation of governmental distrust at the sight of heightened federal control in every sector of daily life, the unwonted loss of life in all corners of the world, and needless war. :P

>>1500138

Lmao! That's not even attempting to get into the storyline. Every good, detailed book has a prologue. Sometimes it sets the hook, and sometimes it lays the groundwork. In this case, it lays the groundwork.

I always give a paragraph, up to a page, of a book to know if its worth shit, considering how you can't feasibly expect a writer to produce literary gold in the first 30 words. There must be something to draw you, yes, I agree that the initial delivery is a bit slow, but then again, its a short story and a continuation, and not a published novel. :P

Alright, let me show you an example of something that could have contained much more information but was shortened to produce a specific effect, and from the reviews it received, it was effective in creating its desired effect in people's views and reactions. It was never really edited beyond its original semi-raw form, and could be vastly better, but it still makes its point.

http://maximilian-aurea.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d324di3

Post a reply here with your thoughts and ideas on that composition so that I may see what it is I'm dealing with here, in terms of vision and comprehensibility.

>>1500060

If you actually want people to read and enjoy your work though, you must realize that there are pretty well-defined methods of publishing a book, and somewhat-defined lines of what the average reader wants and needs from a book.

THAT is why there is so much wondrous unpublished content, while literary feces such as Twilight are so well-received. Unfortunately it is a fact of life in the literary world.

Stephen King's books are all much longer than the published versions, but anyone who's read the raw versions are simply put off by the random, useless writhing mass of information that contributes nothing to the story but pointless backstory. While it may be vastly important to the writer, the reader doesn't want every little detail. They want to be ENTERTAINED.

(I have a forum where I have hundreds of thousands of words written, notes taken, and all sorts of information on an Epic Fantasy novel series I've been writing since I was 9 years old. TONS of backstory, but not all of it would be a nice read, unless you want to know where the transdimensional gods came from, why they left, the exact mode by which their energy dissipates and they are created and destroyed, and all these little 'significant' details that are too voluminous and abstract to actually imput into my work)

>>1500060

He makes a true point though. You must MAKE the reader care; they're not going to just read your book because they chose it randomly from a bookshelf. Give them REASON to plunge headfirst into the reality of your world, give them SUBSTANCE with which to immerse themselves in, ensure that your words echo the proper feeling and stylistic atmosphere but no not expect a random random reader to have the patience of rooting through your eccentric outcries!

You must, in order to be a successful writer, sacrifice your 'spark of genius', cut corners, edit the fuck out of it, and basically simplify to the point where an average reader would actually give two shits about reading your story.

If you, like me, write for the joy of writing and free expression, keep doing what you're doing.

>>1500000

Realmente, tem retardados nos EUA, Brasil e Portugal do mesmo jeito. Nenhum de nos temos o direito de culpar um povo inteiro pelas idiotices de um besta ignorante.

Fawk, my grammar blows at 2 am.

>>1499976

Used as a farm for no reason other than that you allow it. Most will blame the government, but the government is nothing more than an elected body of ascended citizens given power and stature. If the Brazilian really cared so much about the government's fuck-ups, they'd riot and revolutionize the social system, rather than sit at the barzinho drinking a beer and complaining about everything in sight.

If the system is flawed and the people stand tall, only to be struck down by the very same system which once claimed to live by their law, then that is understandable. If those very same people stand idly and watch as corruption and poverty overtakes their nation which a select few reap the benefits of higher learning, economic breaks, and success, then it is of that peoples' fault no more than the failed government itself, for it is their unresounding, settled voice which allows their government to do as it pleases.

To put it simply, stop complaining and do something about it.

>>1499962

Your grasp of the English language is not quite perfect either, to be blunt.

I sense an overflowing reservoir of internalized hatred, tinged with an air of superiority and stained by an outward shell of outright ignorance on the variability of historical accounts.

Historical truth is not a constant. There is no absolute truth to be beheld when speaking of political upheaval and cultural exchanges of a more violent and insolent nature. There will always be an obfuscation of factual views and accounts.

Basically, people have no idea what the hell they're talking about, and aren't exactly teeming to be one-hundred percent honest about every minute detail.

Have you any skill in actual writing?

College literature professor...

Years of schooling so that you can generally bore uninterested students with philosophy and obscure texts. ;) Its really up to you, mate. I recently realized that I'm unhappy as an Insurance agent & broker, and will be giving up my agency here in the USA to become an English teacher in Brazil. Odd, I know, but I was born to teach; or so those who've met me tend to say.

Really, I'm just going for the change in scenery.

Let there be bamp!

>>1499951

Hahaha! Goodnight indeed.

>>1499921

My pleasure :) I pride myself in my reviews, and would only wish that others review my work in return. I've got a blog and a DevART where I post my work, but I'm hesitant to dole them out on such a caustic and chaotic board of anonymous insanity. :P

NeuralSynthesis@hotmail.com

My email for random 4chan people, send me a msg and state who you are and I'll link you, if you wish :)

>>1499926

Obrigado/a, eu nao tenho um teclado Portugues comigo, e os hotkeys para fazer simbolos nao funcionam aqui.

I just love when I give constructive reviews and the writer falls unceremoniously from the face of the internet. :P

>>1499907

Nao, so nunca posto aqui.

Voce obviamente tem um complexo de odio pelas na,coes de primeiro mundo; ou por acaso e' so os Estados Unidos? Ai, eu conhecia tantos igual a voce quando morei no Brasil. Tao rapidos para julgar o pais dos outros, antes de olhar ao redor e ver a corrupcao, destruicao, ignorancia e pobreza que se estende por todo canto do pais Brasileiro.

Ah, e me desculpe; eu falo varias linguas e tenho a tendencia de me comfundir, especialmente entre o Frances, Italiano, Latin, Espanhol, e Portugues. Eu sempre estou trocando de palavras, haha. Tambem nao uso a lingua Portuguesa com tanta frequencia, porem eu tento usar-la corretamente quando posso.

>>1499904

There are subjective truths, and then there are absolute truths. Unfortunately, as men are liable to err as they recount their 'factual histories', it is impossible to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion. Obscured by cultural and sociopolitical emphasis especially, such nation-changing events are always plagues by these prime examples of 'fuck you our country is better' arguments. One side romanticizes their revolution while the other names them as ungrateful curs.

In the end, the truth lie betwixt the two.

Eh, c'est la vie, non?