/lit/ - Literature

>>1531074

I'm afraid I can't tell you how to use your chosen style better, as I personally tend to use a more simplistic style when I write.

But I can tell you that you should start by stating your sentences in the simplest way possible, using the least possible amount of words. If it looks bland to you, you can always add in whatever you like, but it's much easier to start simple and make it more complex as you go than it is to start complex and trim away the waste.

The simplest example I can give you:

>Distracted by his thoughts, Mr. Floyd tripped down the building’s steps, and stumbled blindly out of the dark abode.

>Mr. Floyd, lost in thought, tripped down the steps that led from the building.

I'm afraid that's best I can do for you without completely re-writing what you've written.

While I'm not certain "flowery" is the right word to use here, you've got the basic idea of what I was saying to you.

>>1531063

You should use simpler sentences. The idea you have in and of itself isn't bad, but your execution is lacking.

Some writers can use the style you're attempting very well; you aren't one of them. As Thoreau said, "Simplify, simplify."

As much as it would pain me to have discovered such a thing, I would reveal it to the world. Any other answer would be intellectually dishonest.

The resulting fame would be nice, too.

>>1531025

Any time.

>>1530989
>>1530991

Here's Dawkins pronouncing it. He uses the common pronunciation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEVt5e2w32w

It's at about 1:00

>>1530005

Well, I intended it to be something showing the inherent humor in how seriously /lit/ can take itself at times, but it evolved into something, well, completely different.

>>1529994

Now, now, that was uncalled for.

Can you not see in his posts the anguish he feels at his own existence? All because of people like you.

For shame.

>>1529969

Ah, it seems I've discovered something of why you're so unhappy.

Have you been ostracized and abused because of your sexuality?

>>1529956

My friend, I detect a certain amount of rancor in your post. Why do you feel the need to vent so at strangers on the internet?

I'd say for them to fully realize the impact of our destruction they would need to find something that displayed our knowledge of our place in the universe and our drive to learn all that we could.

My vote goes to A Brief History of Time.

Small Gods is the ideal book to start with.

>>1529914

Why should I not repeat myself when my answer is the same?

You seem to be uncomfortable with the idea of anyone caring about your well-being. That's worrisome. Really, it is.

I'm afraid I won't stop until I've made you happier with yourself and your life.

The only thing that comes readily to mind is the Animorphs series, which has some robots as secondary characters.

It's not bad for a children's series, but I can understand if it's not exactly what you're looking for.

I hope I helped.

>>1529903

Like I said, I'm full of too much awesomeness to keep to myself.

And this board is in desperate need of love.

Especially you.

I'm making you my special project.

>>1529891

I'm afraid you won't be getting rid of me that easily.

I'll be here for a nice, long time.

>>1529880

Certainly.

>>1529871
>>1529865

Now, now.

Whoever was monarch in the past is irrelevant, I am the new king of /lit/.

>>1529835

Well I'm sorry you feel that way. If you ever wish to speak about it I'll always have an open ear for you.

>>1529823

Why is life so dull, friend? There is an endless variety of new things to experience.

And I mean it when I say I love you. I may dislike you, but I am full of love and sympathy for you as well.

>>1529811

I love you, too, Anon. Every single one of you.

>>1529801

Well, whatever you think, I find you to be a fine human being who is full of sadness and hate.

Whatever happened to you in your past, it's alright now.

I love you.

>>1529793

I haven't watched The Office, but my girlfriend is a fan; from what I've heard you'd be correct on that count.

>>1529765

Odin > Zeus

Thor > Heracles.

>>1529769

I find the constant bombardment of advertisements telling me what I want wearisome.

I'll occasionally download some shows I watched in my youth to watch while indulging in some fine, green ganja, but that's as far as I go.

>>1529752

Oh, I don't watch television.

I detect a lot of hate in your posts even when we're being civil. You should lighten up. The world is love and light and laughter; there's no need to hate.