/lit/ - Literature

>>547245
And a quick link to page 5.
>>545329

>>547201
If you were just looking at page 3, that's filler text (and in Comic Sans for that matter). Page 5 has the font that I'm going to be using. It's called EuroComic if anyone is interested. It's from blambot.com

>>547119
I plan on posting the whole thing: cover, page 1-22, for /co/ when it is all done. Which should be in about a month, actually.

>>547169
$250. I spent 6 months looking for an artist.

>>546126
I understand that my self narration is BAD, but self narration, while not being in popular literature, is still a backbone in the comic book medium.

The current trend is speech only, however. Is that something you'd like to see? I realize you're probably not around anymore, so the question goes out to everyone.

I'm back. I'm bumping. Here's the script, if anyone is so inclined.

Issue 1:
http://docs.google.com/View?id=d3zjtw4_3cw3724vz

I've saved the responses so far and I'm spending this week doing a heavy rewrite. Thanks for all the help, /lit/.

>>545766
Advice for making the dialogue more natural? Tricks, things to read? A way to practice? How to make it better? Anything?

I'm going to sleep. If anyone stumbles upon the script and wants to drop me a line about criticism, e-mail's in the e-mail field.

>>545731
Oh, and yeah. They're competing in the Games. Sorry, it's late and I'm tired.

>>545762
Yeah. That's bad. Jesus. Any more critiques are welcome. But goddamn if I am not ashamed when things are brought to my attention.

>>545731
Yeah. The gang gets fleshed out more in issue 3. I want to endear them to the reader later and give them more character. They definitely feel like cardboard cutout cliches in issue 1.

>>545705
Less words. I'm getting a lot of that. That's good. Solid, nailed down, applicable criticism.

>>545703
Thanks for the advice, man.

>>545687
So... just too many words?

>>545670
Okay. Understood.

>>545672
Anything you're willing to do. I've had maybe 5 people read the scripts. They have supplied only grammatical, spelling checks. I always hoped someone would critique my storytelling as a whole. Plot. Mechanics. Anything you're willing to help me with.

I wish I had had the cojones to ask /lit/'s help earlier, before I started production.

>>545662
Yessir. I don't have him named until a couple issues in, though. "What's your name?" To which he replies: "William, out of Pecos."

>>545653
I'm proud of the artwork, even though I wasn't the one who physically drew it. I thought up the scenes, wrote them, and figured out what would fit to a page.

I'm, for the most part, much more proud of my descriptions of scenes then I am of narration and dialogue.

>>545651
I agree. My bad. I don't visit /lit/ that often. I just know you're notorious for giving honest criticism.

Here's the link to the work, again: http://docs.google.com/View?id=d3zjtw4_3cw3724vz

>>545637
http://docs.google.com/View?id=d3zjtw4_3cw3724vz

Here are the words.

I understand why you're angry. I'm sucking it up and I have posted my writing.

>>545634
I read the script for Watchmen, Batman: Year One, some old Marvel, and other things that I could get my hand on.

I used the Dark Horse script format(ish).

One rule I've always heard: if the artist doesn't read it, it's not going to show up.

>>545631
Yes.

>>545605
Sucking it up: >>545624

>>545622
I'll try this next time I sit down to write some dialogue. Thanks.

http://docs.google.com/View?id=d3zjtw4_3cw3724vz

There's the issue 1 script. Brutal honesty time. Trial by fire, /lit/, right?

>>545600
It's early drafts, but the reworkings aren't much better. If at all.

>>545594
You got me, bro. You got me. I was hoping that /lit/ would say, "Yeah, actually, we have a well established group of /lit/ goers that trade and brutally critique each other's work" because I have about TWO damn pages that have text on them.

>>545563
>>545568
Yeah. I wasn't mouthing off. Anon called me out and was right.

I'm freaking out because dealing with real life, no holds barred, /lit/ criticism is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I started fishing for compliments without thinking about it by posting more artwork.

My bad.