/lit/ - Literature

Thanks very much for the comments on my poem so far. To the person who found it amusing, I'm glad, it was supposed to be silly in parts. To the person suggesting I seek help if it's confessional, don't worry, it's not (entirely...).

>>2344875
Another Scottish tripfag reporting in.

>>2317469
Not sure I've seen you around but I like your username. Sounds like a book title Alexander McCall Smith would come up with - reminds me of 'The Unbearable Lightness of Scones', one of his Scotland Street books.

>>2317440
This cunt. So far my poems and prose - which are admittedly mostly in jest - have not gone down too well so far. Well, I did write one about a racist parrot called Percy a few people seemed to enjoy, but other than that, I'm just another despicable tripfag. Woe and fie.

>>2315925
Oh dear. I'll save him the effort stop by the woods on my little horse who will think it queer. I don't have miles to go before I sleep.

Goodbye cruel 4chan!

>>2314686
Journal entry? Yes, predatory purple peacocks peck at my ankles protecting women in cottages frequently.

>>2314687
Hah! Brilliant.

>The Salami Verses

Seminal work criticising the repulsive taste and manufacturing process of spicy Italian pork sausages. The writer currently lives under state protection after several failed assassination attempts made by enraged pizza fundamentalists.

>>2314663
Oh, fine. Have a poem of mine with no agenda (yes, it's utterly devoid of meter and rhyme). Please do critique.

>The Protective Purple Peacock

It's cold outside and I have nothing to show
for the fruits of my labour: a day spent fishing.
Yet again, the fish didn't bite. I sit by the lake and
the warm light from your cosy cottage entices me:
it's still not dark yet but it shimmers through the dead trees.

I've seen you outside in your vegetable patch
sowing seeds and hoeing the earth.
I smiled at you but you stared back, expressionless;
yet I know you are warm. Right now,
I can smell soup cooking in your kitchen.

I approach your house and the only sounds
are those of the twigs snapping and leaves crackling
under my soft footsteps. I just want to look at you again
through your window, watch you relaxed and calm:
perhaps you'd see me and invite me in
and I could share your hot soup.

Suddenly though, as always,
the purple peacock predatorily pecks at my ankles.
It protects you loyally, never ceasing to keep away
perverts and malfeasants and ignorant trekkers.
I cannot pass: it is too strong, too agile.

One day though I will kill the peacock
and bring it to your door. We will feast on peacock
and then we will drink brandy and I will make love to you.
I will gently stroke your naked back with its feathers
then fall asleep on your breast, proud of my conquest.

>>2314637
Yes, you were wrong. Sunhawk cannot string a coherent or logical sentence together, or at least refuses to do so.

>>2314622
>he says write like sunhawk. this annoys me. I light a cigarette. cigarettes cause cancer. cigarettes make me relax. cigarettes are known as fags in britain. britfags lol. the moon looks like a big white torch.

>>2314583
One more thing. A thread of mine is about to die at the bottom of Page 15. If I was Sunhawk I would have bumped it.

>>2314579
Acknowledging that I'm not definitely Sunhawk is consolation enough. He's even more appalling than Quentin.

>>2314566
That's below the fucking belt. Sunhawk would write:

>smoking a cigarette. girl approaches. I say hi. she says that's disgusting. I say it's not. she asks for my phone number. I say no. the sun looks like a big ball of orange.

Then he would plug his thread in every other thread until it received some attention.

>>2314559
From inhaling it:
>outside

Is it so hard to understand that you're not going to be able to inhale enough smoke walking past a smoker in the open air for it to cause significant effects to your precious health?

Also, I implied no such thing regarding the law. What I did imply is that the act of smoking having been legal in bars and pubs for centuries means that there is no "false sense of entitlement" when it's something we were always entitled to.

>>2314545
I can take a critique when it's not a cretinous one from a tool such as yourself. Oh, sorry, "literary tool" I mean!

>>2314489
You're not going to get cancer from breathing in a bit of second-hand smoke outside. Also, who the fuck wants to live past 80 anyway? I'm not going to be a burden on the state as I pay ridiculous amounts of taxes through my smoking which subsidises other services, then I'm going to die before being able to claim much of my allotted pittance of a state pension. You should thank me.

There is no "false sense of entitlement". It was perfectly legal to smoke in bars and pubs where I live until 2006. Despite protests from the proprietors and much of the general public and academics the government gave in to the "false sense of entitlement" from whining anti-smokers like yourself in an act of paternalism.

Enjoy being a killjoy.

>>2314493
I'm not American - it's not obsolete language in my country. I'm not going to write in "American English" to please you. Also, good luck becoming an editor when you make up words like "condition less" and can't even be bothered typing simple words like 'your' in full.

>>2314478
No problem, I thought that would make a few Americans chuckle!

>>2314461
Gross exaggeration. It is incomparable to either of those acts. It is merely something you dislike. There are things I dislike too - I hate the smell of flavoured crisps and it makes me want to puke, I can't tolerate people who stand too close to me, I find football strips unsightly. None of these things are reprehensible though.

In writing there there was no attempt at the whole "unreliable narrator" which I find quite cliched. Although it's slightly exaggerated this is an account of some of the thoughts I had whilst smoking a cigarette in my bed. Because you detest smoking so much you read it in a light that showed your own prejudices rather than considering that others might not hold the same opinions as you.

>>2314446
Ahh, here we go. The patronising face of the anti-smoker comes to greet us. Compare how he describes you to what you've just said:

>sanctimonious
>selfish
>tyrannical
"smokers ARE vermin"
"justify his disgusting habit"
"cover of some romanticized "freedom."

What exactly is there to justify, regardless of whether you find the act disgusting?

>>2314413
Is he completely unreliable though or do you think there is some element of truth to his feelings about anti-smokers?

A flame shoots up from my white Clipper and I light my cigarette, instantly releasing the first mouthful of smoke. I take a second draw, this time inhaling deeply then exhaling the smoke from my nostrils and, somehow luxuriously, it drifts upwards, slowly dissipating before reaching the ceiling.
As I lie on my back savouring my fag, it occurs to me that we smokers are a dying breed in more than one sense. Aside from immensely enjoying the act of smoking itself, there is also an appeal in being part of the underdog - fighting against the tyranny of those who would infringe on our liberties for their own selfish and sanctimonious reasons. As a surge of nicotine pulses to my brain so too does a surge of righteous indignation course through my body. When I first started smoking I was able to do so in a warm pub in the company of friends; now when outside the confines of our homes we're forced into the streets, exposed to the elements and the penetrating stares of the morally superior. Modern convention dictates that we are seen as vermin.
I turn to my side, quickly gasping the final few puffs before extinguishing my Marlboro. I for one will not give up on anyone's wishes but my own.

Someone else is doing much the same thread but in this "greentext" style. I'm not too fond of it myself so I would rather appreciate some more prose.

>>2311312
My dear boy, what on earth gave you the idea that I desire to be taken seriously?

Lehyphena.