/lit/ - Literature

Jock Sturges' Radiant Memories

:^)

sometimes I go out to coffee shops and pretend to speed read. I'm just counting to fifteen and then turning the page. I often do this for hours waiting for a girl to talk to me.

>>6568718
just read "Oh the places you'll go." A juvenile sendoff for a plebeian education.

>>6568648
Make it a lot shorter.

If you're going to give a generic speech that's indistinguishable from all the other graduation speeches, and if you're just going to jerk everyone off with the same vague bullshit compliments about success and responsibility, then you might as well not waste anyone's time.

You might as well be making a speech about "educational synergy" and how all the students are going to "create a paradigm shift" in colleges across the country giving "face time" to "proactively thinking outside the box" via "streamlining" the lives of their community with "strategic communication" to endorse "sustainability." That's how soulless your speech sounds.

>>6568056
>one of the most important days of my and my classmates lives to-date;
that's kind of sad. The day you put on an overpriced polyester robe and get a useless piece of paper is "important" to you?
>we wouldn’t be here without your support.
Not true. Kids literally graduate without even trying. Part of the no child left behind program is that kids get ousted from public school regardless of whether or not they're prepared.
>we now understand the subjects well enough that we are prepared for college or the workforce.
No you don't. Your ability to brush your teeth and get a haircut is more important in finding a job than your GPA.
>We’ve learned the importance of responsibility
Except for all the students who are going to drop out of college less than one year from now.
>pay attention to our surroundings and react appropriately
are you just writing random bullshit here and hoping no one notices?

Shorten it up, Jarrett. No one's going to be listening, anyway, they just want to go home.

>>6558551
There once was a student named Greg
who one day refused to leave bed.
"My grades aren't important,
"I'd rather stay dormant."
So he blazed it 420 instead.

hope this helps, bro.

>>6469893
that's how the list has always been, friendo.

>>6469822
It should be banned because it was written by a moolie and directly contributed to the current riots in Baltimore.

>>6218028
how can someone who doesn't exist lie?

>>6207115
American pig.
>>6207323
It hurts you when people say existentialism is babby's first philosophy.
>>6207347
You write short stories that are graphic in nature but delivered deadpan.
>>6207640
You've never had an original thought in your life, but you don't let it get in the way of feeling like you're better than everyone else.
>>6207651
You're in high school
>>6207687
You're sensitive. Sensitive in a bad way. You've probably cried in school more than once.
>>6207693
You smoke weed.
>>6207744
You want to travel and write short stories about the military.
>>6207796
You don't read much.
>>6207836
You've called someone an elitist before and you were 100% serious.
>>6208350
You have a tumblr account that you keep a secret from all the friends you don't have in real life.
>>6209164
You think stories should be entertaining and avoid books that seem the slightest bit challenging.
>>6209451
You once tried to kick Dan Brown in the balls at a book signing.
>>6209806
You hate alt lit and Hemingway.
>>6209816
You've watched and enjoyed Kenneth Bragnah's 4 hour long adaptation of Hamlet.
>>6210023
You have a thinsporation folder on your computer.
>>6210668
You are John Green.
>>6210807
You have a handlebar mustache, or you would if you could grow facial hair.
>>6211639
You are a man of refined taste. You probably have fucked about thirty bitches but you keep it on the down low like a gentleman.
>>6212554
You think the final chapter in A Clockwork Orange wasn't a pile of crap.

>>6198337
Young Adultism

it'll be twice as awful as postmodernism

>>>/cm/
>>>/d/
>>>/hm/
>>>/lgbt/
>>>/sci/
>>>/soc/
>>>/toy/
>>>/v/
>>>/y/

DFW

>>5772833
>everything is a copy of something else
Only unoriginal people say shit like that.

>a different take on the gods being nice and their enemies being satan evil is edgy
Isn't not different. That's Paradise fucking Lost, you retard. Way to be 400 years late to the party.

>norse mythology based
oh that's never been done before
>Gods are assholes
breaking new ground, I see
>Loki and the giants are ''the good guys''
so edgy, I love it
>Odin gets mad and destroys Nifelheim(ice giant world), closes all communication between the worlds and punished Loki and his children
John Milton would be proud
>Hel is sent to what was left of Nifelheim
>turns it into the underworld
>creates spooky as fuck black magic
fuck yeah, lay on the linkin park
>decides to make an army to face Odin when Rangarök comes
>saves men that the Valkyries don't deem useful from becoming retarded undead
>turns them into intelligent undead now
>teaches them black magic/necromastery
we Godfall now
>main character is one of the first bunch
>has a bro-tier m8
okay, I'm was sick of your book twelve silly names ago. I'm done playing along.

>>5640434
you're triggering me right now because your statistics heavily imply that there are no lgbt people in the human race

>>5601069
most of the stuff below the midpoint is just high school assigned reading, I'm pretty sure everyone has read that stuff.

Beloved was terrible, too. You got dead babies, you got chocolate people having sex with farm animals, and a disjointed narrative that can't decide if it wants to tell the story in the present or in the past so it keep bouncing back and forth, awful, just awful. Toni Morrison robbed someone of a Pulitzer that year thanks to white guilt and affirmative action.

>>5568737
people who go on literature forums and don't talk about literature

I'm white. I'm male. I have blond hair and blue eyes.

Ask an Ubermensch anything.

I'm the best read motherucker here.

>>5342550
If God could create bananas that were perfectly designed for human consumption, why couldn't God design a penis that wouldn't drip urine immediately after tucking it back into your tighty-whiteys?

You're move, theists.

>>5314130
go back to 420chan

or a rehab center

I don't care which.