/lit/ - Literature

bump before bed-ACHOO

Sorry. i'm allergic to alliteration-ACHOO

>>2872305
uhh, Thank you?

bump

>I was considering doing a sort of "demonic puberty" >where he turns red and all that cool stuff, but not sure if >I wanna put that much overlyness into it

Can a nigga get some feedback on this maybe?

>>2872079
No no. I like it here. I think I'll stay.

So it's safe to assume that no one liked the story, right?

>>2872034
To a much lesser degree. Kinda hypocritical, I know, but like I said. I've never met one to be able to give them that kind of chance. I've met women.

>>2872019
>refer to what I said about Shemales

>>2872005
>MFW

>>2871997
No.

>>2871993
>>2871993

>So do you like shemales then?
>They don't have vaginas.
Never actually met one or done anything with one, but they can be kinda attractive when portrayed in a manner that erects my jimmies

>What about Buck Angel?
Dafuq is that

>What about crossdressers/traps?
Fuck thems is hot.

>What about having your thread derailed?
>mfw

>>2871984

see

>>2871986

>>2871969
Sorry I don't like vagina or the psychos they're usually attached to.

>>2871967
Was just going along with mister "OMG SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING BETTER CALL THEM BUTTHURT"

>>2871941
I'm not butthurt in the slightest. my butt is made of steel. I was just very clearly stating exactly what I meant to say. My bad if it came of as butthurt or defensive.

As for
>No wonder you chose to be homosexual

The reason I chose that is because men are more attractive to me than bloody loose bacon strips

>>2871894
>Ignoring the point I made here:

>>2871882
>I made up a whole universe for it

It's fantasy. not reality. It's my creation. I do with it as I please. I don't plan on actually trying to publish this shit or anything. it's just a story I wrote in my personal time and decided to share

>>2871879
Mostly valid points.

>Why is this demon living with them?
To be answered later in the story

>Is this a normal occurrence?
No, planned on playing into this later

>Are others aware of him?
Again, later in the story

>If he's a demon, why is he afraid of the father, why doesn't he just do what he wants?
Because he's technically mortal in that plane of existence

Why does he have to resort to a dildo?
Because I made it so.

As a demon of lust, why is he some preoccupied with fidelity?
He was joking


Aside from the mention of horns, what makes him a demon?
I was considering doing a sort of "demonic puberty" where he turns red and all that cool stuff, but not sure if I wanna put that much overlyness into it

If you give up all the ass in the first day of a relationship, there's nothing to look forward to in a month.

Same thing goes for a story right? Thanks for giving it a chance I guess.

>>2871871
Like I said, I made up a whole universe for it. He's a spiritual entity (Conjured into this reality through means I've not decided on yet) not a biblical demon.

>>2871863
Seems a little overly, compared to
>...

Just saying. I'll cut back on it.

>>2871846
>Try using words to convey these moments.
>Use words to convey a lack of words.

I'm afraid I don't quite understand. but then again, I am inexperienced.

>>2871836
I always imagine them as stammering or just a momentary pause. are they a big deal?

Either way, thanks for the advice anon

>>2871825

I actually made up a whole backstory thingy involving demons and gods and stuff. it's kinda lengthy, but yeah, essentially Keleldran is an incubus.

Aaaaand done. hope y'all like it

http://pastebin.com/G1MdJzMS

>>2871787
Thank you kind anon