/lit/ - Literature

>>6378743

sorry if you missed the memo but I have a report on your hemorrhoids: they are fatal

>>6378725

>>6378707

sorry that I don't want someone to feel like shit about their writing and am willing to look like a faggot to ensure that they won't

it's not exactly like anyone knows who the fuck I am anyways

>>6377996

I'll retract my earlier bit. It's been a rough day and I was in shitpost mode. I read the rest, and while I still didn't enjoy it that much, it's not so bad at all. Sorry. Keep writing.

>>6378561
>>6378577

Christ don't give yourself hemorrhoids babes

>>6378559

> I ain't even the author of the story lmao

Well then apologies to whomever wrote it, sorry it's blowing up. But do read my post and keep practicing. I can give you a much deeper level of critique if you'd like, just give the word.

> in fact, most posts in these threads have a clear attempt at some sort of style (however misguided or poorly done) , and the fact that you can't see that means you're legitimately unqualified to give advice

I equate "good style" with "having style", and "bad style" with "lack of style". How is that such a hard bar to climb? If someone submitted an A4 page filled with "Carrots and Peas Carrots and Peas" printed Ctrl-V double spaced and asked me what I thought of their postmodern masterpiece, and I supposed to whip out the stamp that says "A TOUR DE FORCE"?

>>6378541

> mental capacity

yeah because I have other things to read that don't start with some guy waking up and stumbling into a bathroom

>>6378519

Feel free to keep writing at a mediocre level, then.

>>6377996

Like most posters here, you don't have much in terms of style. It doesn't even have to be style in terms of Gaddis-scholarship or Becket-shit-and-piss or Faulkner-1000-word-sentences -- ANYTHING. Just TRY to make your writing unique. Start imitating some writers you like. Only read books by writers who you feel exceed your skills (honestly, for a while, you can even include King in that list -- his early works at least have style, no matter how shit they are), and learn. Copy. Experiment. Rewrite fragments from books you like. Write with their style in mind. Experiment with poetry. In fact, read a lot of poetry, even if you're a prose writer. Study it religiously. Maybe even study music, painting, at least at a cursory level. Find a point of inspiration. Etc.

> When he woke up, the first thing he did was stumble into the bathroom.

Waking up is a meme. Don't. "the first thing he did" is a vapid piece of shit. He did something, and he did it first. Okay. Really interesting! "stumble into the bathroom" would work if the rest wasn't so boring, but still, probably not.

> Splashing water onto his face, he wiped it off with his hands, spat once in the sink, and walked into the kitchen without looking at himself in the mirror.

Boring. So he did. So what? There is no artistry to this sentence.

> He searched the cupboards for food, but they were empty, and he ended up taking a carton of eggs and a bottle of white wine from the refrigerator and setting them on the counter.

All boring actions and descriptions to this point, and I'm done.

Start by spending some time on each sentence, on every word choice, on the way the words sound, the way they play together, paint a picture of sound and text! You should write like you would paint. Anyone can write a few sentences about a man waking up, going into a bathroom, doing some other stuff. Can you do it well?

>>6378448

A shallow critique of a shallow book by a shallow reader on a shallow website.

Read With Fire and Sword by Sienkiewicz.

>>6377124

> no suspense
> twists
> sparknotes

You really did miss out on the greatest American novel. Shame. Try reading it again.

>>6377704

He was ehlehctruhkuted buh the duhvine firuh

>>6377238

Because they know they aren't, they're heretics that williwaw with the politics of the time. Branch theory puts them at the same level of regard as the two most powerful and respected religious institutions in the world.

>>6377639

He's probably the most patrician man you will ever meet. Don't even try to confront him on his taste. Try to absorb whatever knowledge you can from him.

>>6377084
>Not a religion fag I'm afraid.

So you're just a fag?

>>6375287

The books published within the last 15 years of his life were pretty great, and come recommended.

>>6377015

1. Learn Koine Greek well enough to read the New Testament (a few months, a few hours a day, and you should be set)

2. Learn the Hebrew required to read the Old Testament (about the same in difficulty as the greek)

3. Learn Latin and read a lot of Catholic theology, encyclicals, bulls, history, etc.

4. Join a holy order. If Marx caught your eye, the Jesuits are nice. If you're a bit more intelligent, the Oblates of Saint Francis of Sales are the friendliest priest-level order.

4b. Optional -- Ambitious, and ignorant of that Summa Theologica question #131 you read sometime in part 3? Become a diocesan priest, and strive to be a bishop. Study the sermons of the popes liked most by the laity over the past decade -- JPII, John XXIII, Paul VI, etc.

5. Die

6. Hope Saint Peter isn't a dick

>>6376065

French isn't that hard. Greek is extraordinarily easy, unless we're talking Homeric/Classical. German isn't horrendously hard. Take the next year and a half, two years and spend time getting reasonably acceptable (B2 level) in those three. Tah-dah, you're no longer a retard.

>>6376726

The NT was written in Koine greek, Byzantine greek evolved centuries afterwards.

Symeon was a notable Greek apologist, OP.

The Anglican church submits to it -- and even promotes it -- because deep down, they're completely self-aware that they're heretics who follow the religion of anything-goes. They just want to feel better about it. There's good reason why the Catholic/EOrth churches completely ignore it.

>>6373940

His debut

>>6375699

>>6375662

they're actually quite good

>>6375649

"You say that anybody could have done it, but I did it first."