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/lit/ - Literature

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7233704 No.7233704 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw a small regional publishing house chose my novel for publication
>worked on it for three years
>I have to pay $300 to help with marketing and printing costs and mom lends me the money
>launch night gets postponed because the lady at the publishing house is busy
>finally went to a local B&N yesterday for signing
>tfw nobody turned up
>tfw a few shoppers came in and browsed and left
>tfw my mom finally turned up after her shift at the hospital
>tfw she bought three copies and comically pretended to be a groupie, asking for my signature and asking staff to take a photo etc
>tfw the lady at the publishing house had mis-booked the space and I had to leave early to make way for a book club

This isn't what I imagined it would be like bros.

>> No.7233706

Is it on the A to the Z?

>> No.7233707

>pay $300

lmao you got scammed

>> No.7233708

Your life sounds hilarious.

>> No.7233710

>>7233707
This.Tbh I didn't think people still fell for this.

>> No.7233711

>>7233706
Huh?

>>7233707
I don't think I did. It seems like a common practice for smaller presses from what I've read online.

>> No.7233714

>>7233711
That just means they're mostly scams.

>> No.7233722

Should have self-published

with $300 you could have bought ad space online.

You could also have done grassroots marketing by posting excerpts of your work on 4chan or Reddit or Goodreads

What's the name of your book anyway?

>> No.7233723

>>7233711
Don't listen to them OP, it's the way most Nigerian Lotteries work too and I'm gonna make truckloads with them.

>> No.7233735

>>7233722
I didn't want to market it here as I respect the community and felt it would be rude. I don't want to post the name of the book. I'm pretty embarrassed right now.

>> No.7233738

What did you expect? This is your first published book and you imagined someone might know who you are and want a book signed? Does that even make sense to you?

>> No.7233742

>>7233738
The lady at the publishing house said that my money had gone towards marketing the book launch and promoting it locally. I saw an ad in the local newspaper but it was a really small one hidden among all the ads offering cleaning services and so on. She also said she had booked the space during "peak footfall"

>> No.7233754

>>7233735
I wouldn't feel that bad. You've done well to make it this far. Once I was in a Waterstones bookstore an author of about 60 years of age was sitting at a signing table by himself. I ended up talking to him, though I didn't buy his book (I was only 16. The book was a large hardback and I couldn't afford it). It was travel literature, of which he'd apparently written for a good chunk of his life. He'd been successful enough to keep writing, but he'd been more or less alone for the entire day at that table. Don't be discouraged; you've made it further than most people here will, and you're only at the beginning of your career.

>> No.7233758

>>7233742
Man that's just awful. You should ask her for a break down of the costs or something. You should be angry with them. Ask for your money back.

>> No.7233759

>>7233742
Even if you were a successful author I doubt too many people would come, so don't beat yourself up about that. If it was me I'd get in touch with the library, find out about events and things. You are officially an author now, so get involved.

>> No.7233761

>>7233742
She would have got that ad for free. If you have to pay for your publishing its a scam. Nevermind its just $300

>> No.7233763

I agree you got scammed but 3 years shows you are committed and you tried. Your mom sounds sweet and supportive- maybe overly so but life could be worse. Good job on finishing your novel. You should be proud, not embarrassed. How old are you, anyways? 23?

>> No.7233764

You've got to start somewhere.

>> No.7233769

>>7233758
Yeah, also this. If you feel nervous just drop it in an email. Ask for a breakdown of the budget so far. Account for every penny. Not that I'm saying there's anything dodgy going on, but it could give you a better idea for future publications.

>> No.7233773

>>7233763
I'm 35 years old as of October 21st.

>> No.7233777

>>7233758
>>7233769
It's $300, guys. It will barely get you a handful of cigars.

>> No.7233787
File: 197 KB, 633x347, egyptionan_bznz_secrets.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7233787

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VanityPublishing

>> No.7233794

>>7233704
i feel for you, really. tell us a little from your novel.

the editorial game it´s a shit, you shouldn´t have big expectations.

>> No.7233797

>>7233777
That's what I mean, if he got a breakdown, he would see there isn't much you can do with it. It's such a non-amount it probably wasn't worth doing.

>> No.7233815

>>7233797
That's not what I mean; I'm saying let it go and never pay a publishing house again. I know people who spend that much every 2 days on smack. You can let it go.

>> No.7233835

>>7233794
The story is about a young priest who volunteers to work at a leper's colony in Carville, Louisiana. He spends many years there before it is closed down. He is then exiled from the religious community due to his attempt to safeguard the future of those individuals suffering leprosy who he has come to know. Relatives in New York city offer to board him after the death of his mother, who has lived as a recluse since the death of the boy's father during his infancy. He moves to the city and struggles to adapt to its ways, feeling himself to be inflicted with something akin to what his former patients had suffered due to his inability to find any happiness in his life. The story is then dominated by this theme.

>> No.7233854

>>7233835
Share a link, I'll buy it

>> No.7233863

>>7233835
could be cool, reminds me of a Willa Cather story

>> No.7233873

>>7233854
It's not online at the moment.

>> No.7233875

>>7233835
what sincere opinion you have from your work?, (i know it´s too personal, maybe) it´s really good?, what you are trying to say?. it´s not bad but, why a priest?.

>> No.7233893

>>7233704
Don't be embarrassed. You should be proud of yourself for doing as much as you did. Keep going with your work and try other avenues for publication next time. Even successful authors don't get much attention. That's the thing about writing fiction that a lot of people don't seem to understand; it's really not a glamorous path and you're unlikely to become successful. If that's the reason you're doing it you might want to reevaluate. But the fact that you went to such lengths to make something creative should be a personal triumph of sorts. Don't think of it in negative terms.

>> No.7233900

>>7233704
scammed
if you have to pay for anything you're a customer
your mom sounds like a wonderful person, though. be happy you've got her

>> No.7233902

>>7233835
Has any other author started out in the bleak and depressing Christian volunteer genre or are you a trailblazer?

>> No.7233904

>>7233875
What sincere opinion do I have, or what opinion have I received? I'm not sure what you mean here sorry.

The protagonist is a priest because as a boy his parents interpreted his quietness as shyness, and his isolation as a sign of spiritual distinction. The truth however is that the young boy was simply a very sensitive, and the eagerness with which he attended his religious duties was partly a consequence of his wanting to flee the world. People routinely describe him as innocent, though we learn that his apparent innocence is contradicted by the private internal anger and longing he experiences. Or in other words he is a priest regardless of his religious beliefs, as he has failed to otherwise find comfort in the world and longs therefore for the kind of isolation and purity of thought that only priesthood allows. It's also not set in a contemporary period, so the idea of his being a priest is not as farfetched as it may be were it set in the 21st century.

>> No.7233910

>>7233902
There are authors who have written about the clergy and many others who have written about the themes I also cover. I'm not a religious person though I am very interested in the history of religious (particularly Christian) belief, and in the psychology of those who find the religious lifestyle appealing.

>> No.7233915

>>7233902
>bleak and depressing Christian volunteer

Silence, Shusaku Endo

>> No.7233916

>>7233902
Diary of a Country Priest m89

>> No.7233917

>>7233835
Sounds good.

>> No.7233919

>>7233904
I think he means what do you personally think of your work, and if he doesn't I'd be interested to hear.

Sounds a tad cliched but I'd honestly like to read it. Can you give us an excerpt to show off your prose?

>> No.7233924

>>7233904
You like Joyce's Portrait of an Artist?

>> No.7233926

>>7233904
What sincere opinion do I have >this

sounds good if you have the talent to put all that feelings (whatever) in the story.

>> No.7233936

>>7233919
I'm hesitant about doing that, not for the moment at least. The first sentence is:

"Daniel realized, with a sort of laugh, that every joke he had recently heard had been told by himself, to himself, and at his own expense."

>> No.7233940

>>7233924
I read it some years ago but yes I enjoyed it. I thought his approach to narrative structure was very interesting.

>> No.7233944

>>7233936
That's actually a good first start.

>> No.7233946

>>7233944
s/start/sentence/

>> No.7233954

This thread has convinced me not to settle for having my book published by a "small local publisher". Seems like you might as well self-publish if you can't get your work picked up by a moderately big publishing house.

>> No.7233968

>>7233704
Don't you have any friends?

>> No.7233972

>>7233936
This seems solid to me

>> No.7233973

>>7233968
Not really. I had one when I was 26 but he moved to Milwaukee.

>> No.7233979

>>7233936
i laughed. kind of a harsh humour anyway... you should put this online.

>> No.7233993

How do I buy a copy? (I'm poor but I'd rather spend money on your book than food)

Do you have a goodreads I can add you on?

>> No.7233995

>>7233936
Post more?
I like it.

>> No.7233999

http://www.sfwa.org/other-resources/for-authors/writer-beware/vanity/

>– A vanity or subsidy publisher charges a fee to produce a book, or requires the author to buy something as a condition of publication (finished books, editing, publicity, or other services). There’s a wide variety of models for vanity/subsidy publishing, from companies that do little more than produce a print run that’s shipped to the author, to companies that provide a menu of design, editing, distribution, and marketing services in addition to print and digital book production. Costs for vanity/subsidy publishing can rise into the high five-figure range.

Your mom is based though.

>> No.7234007

>>7233993
Only myself and the publishing company actually own any copies at the moment, and if it's true I've fallen for a scam then I'm not sure I want them to profit from my mistake. I will see what I can do to put this online, though I'll have to read the contract she sent me and which I returned after signing to see if this is legal for me to do.

>>7233995
I'm hesitant to post more at the moment. But I am honestly thankful for your interest. It's very uplifting.

>> No.7234016

>>7233936
It's honestly better than the vast majority of stuff that I've come across, especially as a first novel.

I'm going to be blunt and say it's probably not a masterpiece and probably very flawed, but it's a good first sentence and your description of the book indicates it's at least well thought out. I of course can't judge it without having actually read it, but based on experience, it's probably not half bad.

Good luck OP. you also seem like a nice guy and your mom is sweet, if you put up the book online or something you should let us know, some of us would be willing to read it for sure.

>> No.7234017

>>7233999
I have a few tabs open with the different links people are posting about vanity publishing scams. I'll try and read them all before I act. It's a shame if this has happened though, three-hundred dollars means a lot to my mother since she's only a receptionist at the hospital and doesn't earn much. That's the worst part of this experience so far. And yes she is a very giving and encouraging individual.

>> No.7234026
File: 30 KB, 579x588, 1442753228955.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234026

>>7233973
>I had one when I was 26 but he moved to Milwaukee.

>> No.7234032

>>7233835
I honestly think that sounds like a great premise. The idea of isolation has certainly been done, but it's interesting in the situation of a religious person being isolated for their faith.

>> No.7234036

>>7233704
>300 bucks

Are they going to be publishing your work in a compendium for an additional $1200? Do you have to buy a copy of this compendium for 299.95 + S&H?

>tfw worked for a company similar to Poetry.com
>people will pay thousands to see their name, cv, and writings in books
>sometimes their kids or friends tell them they are idiots and try to get their money back

OP you realize that you are the rube that is the background of Foucault's Pendulum by Eco Right?

>> No.7234038

>>7234007
>the publishing company owns my book

Oh man OP...

>> No.7234066

>>7233704
>>7234007
>I have to pay $300 to help with marketing and printing costs
>not even sure if you own the rights to your own book

You got scammed hard, OP.

>> No.7234091

>>7233711

any time a publisher or an agent is asking you for money, it's a scam, sorry

>> No.7234095
File: 86 KB, 1031x600, 1434003548767.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234095

>>7233773
>I'm 35 years old as of October 21st.
are you a neet ?

what is your job ? what are your hobbies ?
how old is your mother ?

>> No.7234106

THIS HAS TO BE BAIT RIGHT??

>> No.7234130

Jesus man, 36 yo and got scammed, are you neet?
Anyways i read your first line, it's actually a great line and start. You can sell your book here.

>> No.7234134

>>7234017
Just bust your ass and get her the money back, plus something nice that makes moms cry.

$300 isn't that big a deal, it's only a big deal when it was someone else giving it to you like that. If you intend to pay her back, it transfer the guilt-ridden, barely-afforded debt from her to being a simple financial debt for you. Same financial cost, removal of moral cost.

>> No.7234137

>>7234095
you are trash, man.

>> No.7234170

Post more please, I'm interested in reading your book.

>> No.7234182
File: 123 KB, 500x283, tumblr_mfx0w5s0I51rd4rt3o1_500.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234182

>Tfw spend £2,000 on publishing costs for British London because the situation in Denmark is terrible
>Tfw spend lots of money on dry roasted nuts for the launch party
>tfw my book comes out as a fucking printout and they spell my name wrong

>> No.7234187

>>7234095

do you have the rest of these images?

>> No.7234194
File: 233 KB, 960x768, 1418187225214.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234194

>>7234187
not really, it came from 4chan with this one

>> No.7234202

>>7234182
imagine if you spent 2000 gbp on amazon marketing

>> No.7234206
File: 40 KB, 742x740, 1438549639379.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234206

>> No.7234275

>>7233704
I don't think you should feel bad for no one coming to your signing. I do think you should be angry about the woman misbooking you though.

I saw one of the most famous authors in Norway sitting in a food market. Everyone just ignored her.

Don't feel bad.

I have a bad story too, since it's seems we're sharing. I went to a publisher and they wanted 93% of the profits. She also explained to me how authors doesn't really make any profit on books anymore and what they make money on is live readings to an audience. The deal never happened anyway, but from all i hear it seems publishing just flat out sucks these days. Even if i could by some miraculous reason get people to come to a live reading, it would only last for 3 minutes as that's the time it takes to read my book(it's a 30-page satirical picture guide to a European city).

>> No.7234278

>>7233936
I saw that quote in a lit critique thread.

>> No.7234290

>>7233773
Fuck, kill yourself now before the pain gets worse

>> No.7234295

>>7234278
Source or stop bullshitting.

>> No.7234756

>>7234295
Here's the source: >>/lit/thread/6812570

only "thomas" instead of "daniel".

So either this is bait(most likely) or the author sought help in that thread. (or the collective unconscious)

>> No.7234759

>>7234295
>>/lit/thread/6812570

Only "Thomas" instead of "Daniel". Probably bait.

>> No.7234769

>>7234295
>>/lit/thread/6812570

Only "Thomas" instead of "Daniel". Probably bait, or the author sought help in that thread(probably not) or "the collective unconscious" or "people think the same thoughts". Yeah probably bait.

>> No.7234775

>>7234769
oops sorry. bad connection here(in a hostel).

>> No.7234785

>>7233835
I would read this

>> No.7234792

>>7234775
Why are you in a hostel?

>> No.7234811

>>7233704
>tfw she bought three copies and comically pretended to be a groupie, asking for my signature and asking staff to take a photo etc

My body actually contracted and retracted in real life when I read that.

>> No.7234852

>>7234769
Good game op baited us all.

>> No.7234942

>>7234852
but why????!!!

>> No.7234957

well is your book good?

>> No.7234971
File: 7 KB, 200x200, smugpepe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7234971

>>7234942

>> No.7234973

>>7233835
is it available on amazon or is there more info on goodreads? Would be very interested in reading this.

>> No.7235147

>>7234942
So he can post an amazon link after getting enough pity. Easy marketing

>> No.7235178

>>7235147
Not a good bet, seeing how openly hostile /lit/ is to literally every working writer. OP got lucky with a few sympathetic replies

>> No.7235188

>>7235147
An amazon link to a book that doesn't exist? Stellar logic here people.

>> No.7235192

>>7235178
he'd get about 10 sales from anons liking his work, at least another 10 sales through pity and a dozen angry replies. Seems like a win to me.

>> No.7235241
File: 92 KB, 330x246, smug smile.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7235241

>>7233722
>people who buy phiscal copies of what they see on /lit/ are enough to sustain the printing process
>thinking that publishing is 100% about reaching people
>ignoring that you get published to then get published in better places once you have something on your back
>pretending that selfpublishing, unless in extremely lucky cases, isn't the fastest way to get blacklisted in big publishing houses.
if they see you're gonna give it for free they won't pay you to sell it, boi.

>> No.7235291

>>7234792
i heard you get tons of sex on this things so we did a stop in this small eastern europe town.

>> No.7235334

>>7235241

Self publishing doesn't mean giving it away for free. Publishing houses have picked up self published books before. You only need to sell a ridiculously small number of copies to break even with publishing house entry level advances. Amazon gives 50% returns on all sales. There really is no good reason for your first novel to go to a publishing house.

>> No.7235373

>>7233704
>>7233742
>>7233835
>>7233904
>>7234007

sendmeacopy@guerrillamail.net

Send me a copy of your book and I'll read it. If It's any good I will review it.

>> No.7235381

>>7235373
btw you have one hour. it's a disposable email.

>> No.7235386
File: 1.88 MB, 400x300, hibari dance.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7235386

>>7235334
I already told you, you publish in a small house to get attention. Even when selfpublishing you should focus on the phisical copy, so you can show it to agents and publishers. Yeah, there are a few cases where a selfpublished work gets enough traction that it gets a publisher attention, as a 4channer you can seriously say that you're gonna write something millions of people will read and push to their friends until you appear in good morning america? Internet success without some corporation behind you is impposible to control, redlettermedia got the first million views out of a furry site and cartoonist get more attention giving away zines than with websites. You can try playing the game, but don't pretend that there are more authors living off writing through the Amazon model than through classical working up the ladder and making friends in publishing houses.

I'm off my computer and I don't have spellcheck here, I'm sorry for the mistakes.

>> No.7235501

>>7235373
>>7235381
Review it where?

>> No.7235536

>>7235501
>>7235501

There's a handful of journals that accept reviews. I've been meaning to graduate from my notebook to actual criticism. Your position is a nice spur, and makes for a good story besides.

>> No.7235542

>>7235536
this thread made me sick to my stomach I hope OP is legit and sends you it and something good for OP comes out of this

>> No.7235618

OP please put in a link, if you want to be successful you need to market in any way that you can. Plus I want to read it.

>> No.7235657

>>7235501
>>7235542

Well no take from OP, so I can only assume it was a ruse.

>> No.7235736

>>7235386

It comes down to how confident you are in your writing. If your first ten pages are good, you can get all the attention and circulation you need by self publishing. Readers are dying for something that breaks the mold. If it's the same formulaic tripe everyone else is putting on the market, then yes, you need a publisher with a marketing branch to get attention.

If you believe in your work, you should self publish.

>> No.7235747

>>7233704
You might as well have self-published if it was a shitty publisher like that. At least you wouldn't have been down 300 bucks. I self-published and I at least got 250 downloads during a free promotion.

>> No.7235827

>>7235241
I don't know what you think the publishing industry is but there isn't some sort of cabal of big publishing execs who sit around blacklisting self-published authors all day.

>> No.7236429

>>7233704
>This isn't what I imagined it would be like bros.
Really? It's exactly how I imagine it, it's better if anything.

>> No.7236450

>>7233735
Look man there's enough people who'll give it a fair crack, if you won't post the name you never had the chops in the first place. Just ignore the shitposters and accept the help that honest reviews give, lots of great novels started out like this.

>> No.7236476

>>7233904
I'll buy this book anon, no joke, tell me how. Send me a copy and I'll paypal you $10.

>> No.7236495

>>7233735
Post it anon

>> No.7236509

>>7234182
Holy shit man I'm sorry, are you like 14 or something? You could have printed a thousand paperbacks and then spent a grand on targeted advertising for that.

>> No.7236530

OP, unless this is all a ruse, which I'm starting to suspect, you could have sold 30 copies in this thread for $10 each and given your mum her money back. Stop being a faggot and get your act together, life isn't about to get any kinder.

>> No.7236601

So I used to do black hat marketing, email spam, CPA ad fraud, shit like that. I was on a private forum to maximize profits, and there was a guy who made a killing on self publishing. This was about 6 or 7 years ago, he would write an erotic story every week, as many chapters as he could put together in a week, about the most depraved shit he could think of. Then he would run a spam bot through any blog that had the same fetish keywords as his story giving out the referral link to his self published "work". After 50-60 stories like this he was making 2-3k USD a week on book sales (he claimed). Eventually he moved on to paying Euro kids (I think he was brazillian) to crank out smut in every language he could think of. His story ended with some sort of ban for clickfraud. I always remembered that shit though.

>> No.7236619

>>7233704
Try again.

>> No.7236646

>>7236530
>ruse

Believe me, people are this gullible. >>7234036
here, I used to make a landing page with a brief form including name, title, state, phone, and email, then run an email spider on every college in the US. I would then mail them an offer to publish their cv and any work they want in our yearly publication. I would mail about 250,000 people a week, and about 2000 would answer, almost always professors. About 20 would pay big bucks to get published, and it was usually the senior ones with 15 page long CV.

OPs crime isnt nearly so egregious

>> No.7236700

>>7233835
Holy shit, are you a Louisianian?

I teach at one of the universities here and most of the departments are whores for regional writing. You should try to hit up the college circuit.

>> No.7236707

>>7235736

>there are actually people who think this to justify self publishing

>> No.7236764

>>7236707
When the alternative is paying useless fucks or scammers to publish or "publish" you it's justified as fuck.

Though really the way self-publishing is a dirty word is more of a meme then you'd be willing to admit. The publishing industry doesn't give a shit about you unless your book sounds like it'll sell. Self-publishing is useful for putting out things that'd otherwise never see the light of day if only because they're not mainstream or accessible enough to be profitable.

>> No.7236798

>moral cost
>OPs crime
>"justify" self-publishing

You people are cunts.

>> No.7236818

>>7236798
>being triggered by people not being pieces of shit for once
>calling being a sucker a "crime"
>bitching about anything even vaguely positive being said about self-publishing

Stay autistic, friendo.

>> No.7237235

>>7234182

To be fair the situation in Denmark was getting out of hand.

>> No.7237237

>>7234194

This is just sad and filled with spiteful hate. Live and let live for fuck's sake.

>> No.7237243

OP here. I feel slightly guilty to admit this but my story is fake. I just thought it was somewhat humorous and touching. I invented this >>7233835 in about a minute and the first sentence is from a novel I wrote last year that was rejected 30 times or so. I also posted the Ben Lerner / PhD thread a couple of days back, I post the "/lit/" ambitions threads, I made the "twenty five" threads, I wrote the "I'm 19 years old" copypasta, I write many of the NEET-manifestos and almost every female you think you've talked to on /lit/ has been me. But I do feel guilty, though I think this thread has at least shown what a nice place /lit/ can be, and I'm sure there's someone out there in the position of my invented character. I have a sort of rule where I give up the game after 100 posts, but I thought the thread had died yesterday. I WILL live a good life at your expense.

>> No.7237258

>>7233704
>>I have to pay $300 to help with marketing and printing costs

kek, for such a scam I'm surprised they didn't try for more.

>> No.7237259

>>7237243
If you're responsible for that much shitposting, I have to tip my hat to you. You must be the damn president of Australia.

>> No.7237288

>>7234091
>or an agent is asking you for money, it's a scam
I thought that's how they work, you give them money and they find you jobs.

>> No.7237290

>>7236509
Anon's just greentexting a Peep Show episode, hence the picture. Peep Show does crushed dreams very well, really.

>> No.7237291

OP here. I feel slightly guilty to admit this but my story is fake. I just thought it was somewhat humorous and touching. I invented this >>7237243
in about a minute and the first sentence is from a novel I wrote last year that was rejected 30 times or so

>> No.7237325

>>7237243
I have to ask you this man. Why?

>> No.7237340

>>7237325
Because I've been on /lit/ for so long now that 90% of the threads are just the same king of shit I saw a few years back. The shitposting and meme-spouting is at an all-time high, and since nobody is interested in discussing literature most of the time, particularly contemporary literature which I know a great deal about, then I sublimate my frustrations by posting lengthy and often very convincing posts that some would call "shitposts". The fun thing about 4chan is that I have no identity here, and since I'm pretty isolated in the real world too I can slip into different characters pretty easily.

>> No.7237345

What the hell is this thread?

>> No.7237362

>>7233936
hey, this is alright

>> No.7237382

>>7233936
it's cool ...but please don't be another Voltaire wannabe. That'd be a shame.

>> No.7237505

>>7237382
What do you even mean by that?

>> No.7237538

>>7237243
>implying half of the anons who posted here didn't troll you in the attempt to read that novel and eventually laugh at you.

>> No.7237570

>>7234007
>I will see what I can do to put this online, though I'll have to read the contract she sent me and which I returned after signing to see if this is legal for me to do.

Jesus fucking christ

>> No.7237649

fucking hell

>> No.7237657

>>7237340
Bravo. I wish i knew about contemporary lit so we could chat. You sound like an interesting person

>> No.7237677

This actually made realise I will never be a successful writer. There are so many more clever writers than myself and I don't possibly have s chance of being published. This is actually extremely relieving. Like I feel a huge weight of stress lift from my shoulders. I am going to resolve to live my life at leisurely rate instead of trying to scramble and learn as much as I can about literature and writing.

Thanks OP, I sincerely mean that. Today my life moves in a new direction

>> No.7237681

>>7237677
>here are so many more clever writers than myself

yes

>and I don't possibly have a chance of being published

These statements don't connect.

>> No.7237682
File: 129 KB, 601x534, 1337671191234.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7237682

What's going on

>> No.7237717

>>7233835
I'd read this

>> No.7237755
File: 10 KB, 448x320, businessman_cigar_money.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7237755

Here's my idea for a novella and please please please tell me if it it is shit so I dont have to bother wasting my time with it

Its set in an unspecified future, and our nameless protagonist is an employee for a major soft drink corporation that has successfully been awarded the copyright on the most commonly used word in the english language: "the". He's assigned to deliver the copyright approval papers to the U.S. Copyright Office which has become the most heavily foritified snd militarised building in the entire world after a potato chip corporation unsuccessfully tried storming it for the rights to depict a mascot eating their product in a 30 second advert

The building features an abusrd design, labyrinthes, trap doors, mazes, misleading maps and signs, false walls, and other sorts of tricks to dissuade anybody from trying to attack or steal copyrights. The protagonist travels through the fortress trying to reach the approval office following a patchwork map while also being pursued by rival spies who want to steal the copyright and quadruple agents etc etc.

It's my weak attempt at comedy and poking fun at 21st capitalsim that has developed this sort of weird and desperate self-awareness. Does this sound even slightly interesting? It sounds reddit as fuck when I type it out like that

>> No.7237765

>>7237755
I'll steal your idea

>> No.7237777

>>7237755
>Its set in an unspecified future
dropped

>> No.7237778

>>7233777
Actually $300 will get you a good box if cigars. I just got a box of Rocky Patel Royale for 220.

>> No.7237781

>>7237765
I was actually going to have the introduction be something like that: Under threat of legal or military action this work may not be replicated or distributed without the express approval of the author or publisher. Be sure to have your reading subscriber card ready to verify you are qualified to enjoy this product. If you do not posses a subscription to our service you are in violation of [made up law] and are unlawfully engaging in criminal theft of entertainment. If you are interested in purchasing a reader's subscription, please call representative at [made up number], and be sure to ask about the rewards points you can earn!"

>> No.7237785

>>7237777
By future I meant like 10 years from now, theres no sci fi shit or robots. Nothing like that. Its just a parody of out current consumer culture and some of the funny contradictions that spring up. There are zero sci fi elements

>> No.7237788

>>7233704
>Chief Communications Officer here

Dont ever assume things sell by themselves. Dont ever assume that minor publishing houses know what to do. Ask them for a fully detailed plan. Start working up an individual plan.

Writing the book is about 50 percent of the work load. You have to be visible in tv, write opinion pieces on crap, do public stunts, viral kitten videos etc... why do you think people get labelled sell-outs?

>> No.7237793

>>7237781
Ideas are like arseholes - everyone has a shitty one, but they all think their own is different. The idea is meaningless, it's all about the execution. If you're a good writer it will be good, if you're a bad writer it will be bad. Only one way to find out.

>> No.7237803

>>7237755
I think this could — if you are, against all all odds, a good writer — be really really good if you focus on the comedy and world building and let the satire be a backdrop.

If you're taking the satire too seriously and think "that will show people what lies they have been told" it's probably gonna suck.

Though you're right that it's sounds kinda Reddit, so you're gonna need strong prose to outweigh that.

>> No.7237818

>>7237803
Yeah, I wasn't planning on making it some kind of political diatribe in the guise of fiction. I have no solution or alternative to the abusrd oddities of neocapitalism, just observations of it.

Like I said earlier, it's not something to even remotely take serious. The world I want to depict is sort of a crazier reflrction of our own. Not some dire prophecy of the future.

Thanks for the advice, will definitely keep it in mind. I was planning on just giving it away online once I finished it. Maybe pay an editor to look it over or something. I don't have the slightest intention of marketing it or selling it, just want to make a few people giggle is all

>> No.7237838

>>7237818
If you finish it, please email me at peterpolisong@gmail.com. I don't want to have to read this board religiously for years just so I don't miss out :).

>> No.7237847

>>7237755
>novella
Why even bother? No one publishes those anymore.

>> No.7237850

>>7237288
This is a joke, right?

>> No.7237862

>>7237505
What did he mean by that?

>> No.7237877

>>7237243
Are you the guy who posts tons of stuff about some Thomas character in like every critique thread?

>> No.7238179

>>7237778
True, what I get a box of Bossner Ambassador for about 250 here.

>> No.7238199

>>7237291
The first sentence of your novel was 'OP here'?

notbad.jpg

>> No.7239087

>>7234275
>I saw one of the most famous authors in Norway sitting in a food market. Everyone just ignored her.
Norway is small and you run into celebrities all the time.

>> No.7240678

>>7237237
>Live and let live for fuck's sake.
no