/lit/ - Literature

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389255]

Hey /lit/. You know how they talk about the death of the author? Well, here is my suicide note.

pls r8

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389257]

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389259]

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389264]

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389265]

[Anonymous No.5389266]

Don't kill yourself OP.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389268]

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389269]

[Anonymous No.5389271]

>>5389255


>>>/x/
>>>/b/

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389275]

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389282]

That's all there is for now. A little over 4000 words. I want to have it finished by September 11th. That is my new joke deadline. I've been blocked for months.

My greatest fear is simply not being read. This doesn't bother most people since most people are content to live out their entire lives and die automatically without any comment, without any care.

When this suicide note is finished, and if it is ever read, I might write another, better one.

Suicide as a form of performance art.

If Jesus hadn't been condemned to crucifixion, he would've had to do it himself.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389292]

>>5389266
>>5389271

I figured out the popular contempt for suicide, as exhibited automatically by you two.

Someone with something to die for is an insult to those with nothing to live for. Most people live passively, for the sake of living. Life for life's sake is the most insidious and tedious form of death.

Suicide is an action, a statement. A crude but effective one. Most people are without reach of actions or statements.

I'm not saying I'm better than "most people" (hardly, I'm worse!) or expressing any contempt in these statements. Here's a thread about my story and about suicide, if you'd like to have it.

[Anonymous No.5389299]

>>5389292

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389334]

>>5389299

Why can't anyone take a joke about suicide?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389359]

No guys, it's okay, I'm totally serious about killing myself, you can continue bumping this thread and giving me attention with a clean conscience now.

[Anonymous No.5389435]

>>5389282
>implying Jesus didn't ask Judas to betray Him

[Anonymous No.5389464]

>>5389282
so give it to me when it's done, geez.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389486]

>>5389464

but by then it'll be five times longer and you still won't read it

[Anonymous No.5389490]

>>5389359
Go on do it. Might as well kill yourself now since nobody will read this anyway.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389505]

>>5389490

A while ago there was a thread where the OP showed off his book. He was a pompous asshat about it right from the get-go, and the writing was utterly terrible (every other sentence being strained and unintentionally hilarious), so of course everyone read it.

>>/lit/thread/S5156019

I was attempting to be original here. I don't do the "hey guys I wrote the hottest shit none of you losers will ever touch" act, so I went to the direct opposite extreme of contemptibility. Here is a suicide note.

It doesn't hurt that the story, if you read the first few paragraphs of it, is explicitly about a man committing suicide in a grandiose and spectacular fashion.

[Anonymous No.5389526]

>>5389505
Look, I read the first two pages, I like what I'm reading, but I want it all so I won't be left expecting more by the time I'm done with it.

[Anonymous No.5389527]

>first word
>Xavier

OP confirmed for faggot who can't write introductories

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389535]

>>5389527

Okay, I'll rewrite the opening just for you.

>There was a man. His name was Xavier. Xavier's last supper consisted of a steady intake of Faygo and Pringles.

>>5389526

But if you want more by the end of it that's the best incentive for me to keep writing on a rapid basis and delivering it to you quicker than the interminable self-imposed deadline of rising disinterest DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW MANY VIDEOGAMES I NEED TO FINISH

I'm already shirking on my MW3 rental right now.

[Anonymous No.5389544]

>>5389269
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdy0HeZtlqw

[Anonymous No.5389561]

>>5389255
I can't be arsed reading this; what's it about?

[Anonymous No.5389567]

Terrible writing.

If you kill yourself make you sure don't make this garbage your legacy.

Silence is more powerful than words.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389587]

>>5389561

THE POSTMODERN CRUCIFIXION COMEDY
THE CHRISTIAN STREET CRIME THRILLER

EXPLICIT SEX
EXPLICIT VIOLENCE
EXPLICIT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
EXPLICIT IMPLICATIONS
IMPLICIT EXPLICATIONS

YOUNG ADULT **ENTERTAINMENT**
ONLY SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN OVER 18

It concerns the death of religion, the death of sexuality, and the death of racism. It is a social speculative fiction piece written by a specimen of sheltered white trash, a visionary manchild seeking to make his tortured and bloody splash on the scene of literature just as his protagonist crucifies himself atop a skyscraper and walks off the edge to fall straight into performance art legend.

I've been blocking on it for months because it fucking scares me. Please read what I have so far.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389591]

>>5389567

That's great, now can you tell me why it's terrible?

[Anonymous No.5389594]

>>5389587
Sounds alright. I'll give it a read later.

[Anonymous No.5389598]

>>5389591
cliche ridden

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389602]

>>5389598

Like what cliches? They'd be easy to point out, right?

[Anonymous No.5389654]

Excellent story, OP. Are you going to submit it to the New Yorker?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389656]

>>5389654

I can't tell if you're being facetious but man that would be amazing even though it could not ever happen.

[Anonymous No.5389666]

>>5389656
Not being facetious, I liked it a lot.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389673]

>>5389666

It's like not even hardly near finished and you're all like "Excellent story" WHAT WAS EXCELLENT ABOUT IT?

I take praise just as harshly as I do criticism; it keeps me on the tightrope.

You have my thanks when you let me know! Same goes for the guy who went all "cliche ridden" and trotted off somewhere.

[Anonymous No.5389679]

>>5389673
Does this board usually give you constructive criticism? I don't have much to say about the story other than it's kind of boring

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389695]

>>5389679

I don't go on this board usually. I've seen people post their stuff and it usually gets blasted to hell with people exclaiming "it's shit" and "trash it" but most often that is constructive because it really was shit and they really should trash it and I'm just sitting here feeling uncomfortable how to express, in words that might benefit them, how irredeemably trite and terrible their writing might be.

So I don't post in critique threads often!!

And I don't post my stuff often!!

I dunno why you might find it kind of boring unless you, wild assumption here, might have genre proclivities of some conflicting sort? Like I read a few pages of this to peeps over Xbox Live and they were groaning and some muted me and one guy said he didn't like humanistic stuff and preferred stories with spaceship stuff

Okay!

I just wanna be blown the fuck out or something. Maybe that'll happen when I get to the part where the black protagonist as a child gets into the habit of calling himself "nigger" in the racist sense (not the in-race bonding modern sense) to feel a sense of individual identity and history forever lost to him by the normative effects of equality and progress (read: totalizing indifference).

Yeah that's the next part.

Yeah that's what I'm blocked on.

A few months ago I made a thread here with the question: "Is racism dead?" Boy, I sure did get "constructive criticism" and "blown the fuck out" over that one.

[Anonymous No.5389716]

>>5389257
>first sentence starts with Protag's name.. no
>try-hard, run-on second sentence
>stopped reading
>sry bra

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389726]

>>5389716
>first sentence starts with Protag's name

so why exactly is this a bad thing?

>try-hard, run-on second sentence

It's not a run-on. "Try-hard" maybe, IDK.

[Anonymous No.5389744]

>>5389726
>starting with the name is the most pedantic way to introduce a character, the only thing worse is the 'he woke up' opening.. Do I need to know his name right away?
>you take almost three lines to tell me Xavier peeled off a wrapper, I get it, I know how to eat a granola bar, you're basically patronizing your audience whilst showing off how articulate you are..
I find the key to captive writing is telling a story like you would to a friend, being sparse with literary prose
I do think you're on to something here, you've obviously thought it through, so.. good luck
writing is rewriting!

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389752]

>>5389744
>you take almost three lines to tell me Xavier peeled off a wrapper, I get it, I know how to eat a granola bar, you're basically patronizing your audience whilst showing off how articulate you are..

That sentence isn't about him peeling off a wrapper. It's about him eating a shitload of granola bars while climbing an endless staircase.

I took five words to tell you Xavier peeled off a wrapper, not three lines. The five words I used to tell you Xavier peeled off a wrapper were:

"he peeled off a wrapper"

I'm sorry, I don't know how to be more concise than that.

[Anonymous No.5389767]

>>5389752
The sentence abotu the granola bar is 32 words long, and that might be too much, OP.

[Anonymous No.5389793]

>>5389752
Ok, maybe I wasn't clear;
>the point of the sentence is to tell me he ate a shitload of granola bars (I doubt whether the amount is significant, but I'll assume it is), which is something that you could've said in the first sentence ("and four packs of granola bars")
>the rest of the sentence describes what happens to the wrapper and that he's actually chewing; I don't need the explanation, I know granola bars come with wrappers and that eating involves chewing..
>the only other message in the second sentence is that he's atop a stairs, which would've been clear from the third sentence anyway
>so the second sentence is pointless, that's all I'm saying =)

[Anonymous No.5389795]

I think putting "chewing slowly as it fluttered out of sight" as a flourish at the end is what overdoes it. We can already imagine that stuff happening based on what you said just before, so ti doesn't really need to be included.

[Anonymous No.5389798]

I thought it was quite promising, I read it all anyway.

How is he going to do it though? He could probably get his first wrist nailed to the cross although it would be tricky but what about the second?

[Anonymous No.5389811]

Basically you're no Kolsti Nguyen but you show promise.

[Anonymous No.5389820]

>>5389793
This guy's criticism is good, please listen to him

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389829]

>>5389798
>He could probably get his first wrist nailed to the cross although it would be tricky but what about the second?

He starts by hammering in the first nail on the cross-beam from the other end, jutting outward.

He drives the one nail into his right hand with his left hand, and then takes his left wrist and smashes it on the exposed other nail, twisting and writhing until it fully sinks in.

[Anonymous No.5389837]

>>5389275
So I decided to read the last page, since others said it's promising but you're relentless;
>"a piece of egg", after all the literary vernacular you show off earlier, this is an almost childish way of phrasing it..
>it's "Do you understand?", without "do" it seems unnatural, especially for a woman telling him off, the rest of the sentence is equally poorly phrased (it's "nodded quickly" I think?)
>and.. and.. in the third sentence, also thrice "she", which is superfluous
Is English your first language DJ?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389843]

>>5389793

"chewing slowly as it fluttered out of sight" does not tell you that eating involves chewing or that plastic wrappers flutter when they are dropped.

It tells you that he is in no rush whatsoever, and that he's climbed long enough that the wrapper would disappear just from the distance. These are crucial details which are not inferred from the previous clauses.

>(I doubt whether the amount is significant, but I'll assume it is)

The amount is not significant; the precise wording is.

"between the seventh and seventeenth"

Meaning he's not counting, he doesn't care. He has resigned himself totally to the infinite nature of the climb and his ongoing sustenance. "Four packs" would imply a certain clinical completeness on my part or his, which is not intended.

It's not about the wrapper, it's not about the chewing, it's not about the amount. You are reading this way too literally.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389857]

>>5389837
>"a piece of egg", after all the literary vernacular you show off earlier, this is an almost childish way of phrasing it..

Maybe that's because in that exact spot, in the context you skipped over, I'm describing A CHILD'S PERSPECTIVE of things.

>it's "Do you understand?", without "do" it seems unnatural, especially for a woman telling him off

The woman is black.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_American_Vernacular_English

Cutting the "do" and just stressing "You _understand_?" is concise and common, even regardless of race, but it is absolutely natural in AAVE.

[Anonymous No.5389867]

>>5389282
>most people are content to live out their entire lives and die automatically without any comment, without any care
how could you possibly believe this is even a little bit true?

[Anonymous No.5389868]

>>5389843
>You are reading this way too literally.
And I think you're reading too deeply into your own writing, because that sentence is boring as shit no matter how much you intended.

[Anonymous No.5389871]

>>5389843
Ok, if that's what you're trying to say, then say it, don't hide behind unnecessary subtext
"He dejectedly watched the wrappers flutter out of sight" or something
Also, "between the seventh and.." is an unusual choice of words imo, if you insist, add a word like "ration" or plain "bar" to make the sentence more natural
Lastly, the fact that the climb appears infinite doesn't come across as strongly, maybe find a way to imbue that better
Anyway, that's my 10 pence, I'm out, please don't be discouraged, I'm just a guy on the internet, good luck!

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389886]

>>5389867
>most people are content to live out their entire lives and die automatically without any comment, without any care
>how could you possibly believe this is even a little bit true?

You've already admitted that nothing you can say here, nothing you will say here, nothing that can possibly be said here is of any consequence or lasting value. You've already admitted that you don't care about yourself, your experience, or anything you might even have to say, let alone the existence of others.

This admission is definitively called "Anonymous". Another word for "Anonymous" is "most people". And thus you've already agreed with me.

[Anonymous No.5389890]

>>5389886
lol are u for real

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389897]

>>5389868

I'll write a separate story for you consisting exclusively of fun sentences and no commas whatsoever.

>>5389871
>Lastly, the fact that the climb appears infinite doesn't come across as strongly, maybe find a way to imbue that better

This I'll have to think about further.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389910]

>>5389890

Why do you post as Anonymous? Because everyone else does. Because you want to be like everybody else. Because you are not "special", because you are not "unique" in any meaningful sense, because your human experience is disposable in this space. Subhuman chatter consisting entirely of vitriol, epithets, and interchangeable opinions with no background to define and substantiate them.

You were born with a face and a name, and you could change that face to some extent and change that name to any that suits you. You could be any you, but you would rather be nothing, and you will be content living out your entire life as nothing, accomplishing just as much as any other nothing has, writing just as much of any substance as any "Anonymous" ever has. Nothing.

I'm not saying I'm better than you at all. I don't know you. I'm just saying I haven't emotionally resigned myself to mediocrity yet, and there is nothing more definitively mediocre than "Anonymous". I would rather be depraved, reprehensible, pretentious, "attention whoring" and what-have-you than to identify as the terminal condition of apathetic, disposable mediocrity.

Everyone has an identity but this is the first thing we surrender here, and soon everywhere, and our entire life goes with it. We live and die Anonymous. I don't want to do that yet.

[Anonymous No.5389914]

>>5389897
>>5389910
You made both fo these posts at exactly zero seconds o___o

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389917]

>>5389914

bateman.jpg

[Anonymous No.5389921]

>>5389897
Henry James also used a lot of commas (and semicolons and em dashes) but at least his sentences were interesting in addition to being meaningful,

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389923]

>>5389921

I don't know Henry James. Link me some Henry James.

I mostly read Ballard, Baudrillard, and Ellison. They are good at "interesting" and "meaningful" and "good" and other qualities you seem to like that I seem to lack.

[Anonymous No.5389924]

>>5389910

Its like I am reading Notes From The Underground again.

Your mistake is you think there is a 100% definable identity.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389928]

>>5389924
>you think there is a 100% definable identity.

Not at all. Here it's "any" as opposed to "none". "Anonymous" is definitively the absence of identity.

I'm not saying BEING YOU ought be a moral imperative. But it is absolutely preferable to BEING NOTHING, in which nothing can be expressed or achieved.

4chan is the Post-It Glory Hole.

[Anonymous No.5389931]

>>5389923
Try to write like this or something, OP, and not Ellison, please: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/29452/29452-h/29452-h.htm

[Anonymous No.5389955]

>>5389923
Actually, I know your'e talking about Harlan Ellison because you've mentioned him before, but since you're writing about a black character, there's another Ellison you should probably check out...

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389958]

>>5389931
>She waited, Kate Croy, for her father to come in,

name of the protagonist in first line, despicable, will not read.

also "She waited, Kate Croy" is superfluous and verbose and it should just be "Kate Croy waited" because that's obviously a female name

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389960]

>>5389955

Yeah I should definitely read that. I just finished Super-Cannes by Ballard so my plate is clear.

[Anonymous No.5389961]

>>5389910
Anonymity is patrician as fuck you scrublord. Having an identity is only useful in society (i.e. when you regularly interact with other people), and wanting to be around others is the definition of plebdom.

A true patrician doesn't adopt a name (either the one given him at birth, or some retarded meta-ironic one like yours) because his thoughts provide the content of his being. The way he looks, or sounds, or the type of vibrations in the air that he wants people to produce when they refer to him, all of these are totally redundant to the true patrician, who in posting anonymously is revealing his true self in all its unguarded glory.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389979]

>>5389961
>Anonymity is patrician as fuck you scrublord.
>plebdom
>true patrician
>meta-ironic

Ow my eyes

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5389993]

>>5389961
>and wanting to be around others is the definition of plebdom.

now this is just sad.

Who would want to identify as kin with this euphoric sperglord?

[Anonymous No.5390016]

>>5389979
>>5389993
>two replies

Wow man you're desperate

[Anonymous No.5390026]

>>5390016
Sometimes I samefag multiple replies to things but people can't make fun of me for it because I don't use a name/tripcode :^)

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5390051]

>>5390016

I needed to recover my eyes from the impact of his 4chan neckbeard vernacular so I could properly reply to him.

[Anonymous No.5390060]

>>5390051
Ha ha yeah I'll bet that guy even wears a fedora.

[Anonymous No.5390082]

Kill yourself, pompous asshole

[Anonymous No.5390097]

>>5389928
Anonymity is not nothing.
An anonymous post is essentially, purely its content. The communication is unadulterated.

[Anonymous No.5390856]

Bump so more people can see this shit lol

[heaven No.5390861]

Op is samefagging so much in this thread its silly.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391006]

>>5390861

I don't post without my tripcode in threads where I am present.

Sometimes when I'm in disgustingly bored moods I samefag exclusively as Anonymous, pretending to have multiple personalities (or any at all), and I've thought about writing entire threads to have the appearance of a collective.

>>5390856

Thanks, man.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391040]

>>5390097

It's communication between nobody to nobody, essentially nothing. It is so intentionally and transparently worthless that this entire medium is designed to purge it all every hour or two wholesale. Like a toilet. Like a Post-It Glory Hole.

Even then we have our archives, septic tanks, and colonoscopies.

An human person possesses a presence and a past. Those two are the fundamental elements of identity; all else (such as names and records) serves to further them and signify them.

They are also the very two things you abandon by posting as Anonymous, already admitting that who you are as a person does not matter, that your human experience does not matter at all, and consequently that everything whatsoever you have to communicate does not really matter, even to you. You've adopted a morality of worthlessness unquestioningly, and you follow it unerringly.

All it serves as, at best, is a thought experiment or a convoluted joke for others to decipher. Communication implies a sort of relationship between both parties, an exchange of roles, and any kind of relationship or role is definitively impossible between Anonymous and Anonymous.

"Pure content" is a myth. Someone could infer that I was referring to Harlan Ellison earlier in the thread when I wrote "Ellison", because they've seen me before and they know where I'm coming from. This is information, like so much other information, that can only be attained by having someone's presence and existence span further than one whopping post (your sole post there is the only assurance I have of your existence wholesale), and this is content normally taken for granted in human communication. This is why actual human communication can convey so much with so little; because we can already know each other, because we can possibly care about what the other has to say.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391051]

>>5390097

Already by the preference for "pure content" and "unadulterated" communication, you've expressed outright contempt for whoever might actually be saying anything, and thus contempt for whatever they have to say. Meaningful communication is not possible in an atmosphere of mutual contempt.

All that occurs is masturbation.

This post is no exception, since I don't expect to reach anyone with it. I don't expect there's anyone to reach.

[Anonymous No.5391059]

>>5389257
>start reading
>realize it's not Xavier from X-men
Dropped.

[Anonymous No.5391191]

>>5389255
It's aight.
I thought it was pretty neat how the tone would shift based on what memory he was describing.

[Anonymous No.5391343]

>>5389257
You seem to worry too much about the reader being prepared and defensive to your story.
>There had been an elevator, of course, but he had opted for the stairs.
>He needed distance, he needed time, he needed to climb... from the bottom to the top, seemingly always halfway there along the way.
Why don't you just tell what you want to tell instead of starting with a recognition of an imaginary complain and then dividing the intention? If you want to tell what he was thinking just say it or hide it into something.
>A fatal infinity lay before and beyond him, and he was prepared to meet it either way on equal terms.
Were you going for some sort of levity? I feel there was an intention but it doesn't pay out.
>so they wouldn't be rubbing against the sides of his neck, chafing and splintering the skin.
A bit too soon for worries about his skin when you start with eating trash food and no worries about his suicide a couple sentences before. You need to space out or crunch together the two aspects to get any impact, right now they are diminshing each other.
>He had no possessions left in the world, no place like home to call his own.
>Gray sky above and gray concrete bellow, and that's all
Again, you suddenly get all poetic on me but your first sentence was about trashy food. Chose a tone, and if you tone is constant switch make it clearer. Also those lines would had sucked in a poem, prose is a little more permisive but if you're not gonna try to do it right don't try at all.

>, he hoped.
>the rest of that paragraph
Are you taking the character point of view or do you have external knowledge. Any one is fine but not both. If you want the liberty to show the fallacies in his actions you can't add his emotions to your writing, and viceversa, or you end up taking away from any of them.

>fashion-free clothes twince in the first page
If you like an expression wait a little bit before re using it. You're supposedly writing a novel, right? You can take a couple of pages at the very least.

>Jumping to a flashback before even presenting the situation
You are rushing a lot, mate. Take your time or the reader won't have any reason to be interested in what comes next. You left a lot out while wasting time describing useless stuff.

Do you want me to keep going? I think you really need to sit down and keep writing until you run out of steam and then re visit everything from the begining and fix/rewrite this; and the again and again and again.

[Anonymous No.5391357]

>>5389744
>writing is rewriting!
We need a script that posts this in every thread every one hour for a week. It would do so much good work.

[Anonymous No.5391364]

>>5389793
I agree with you.
But take in consideration that if a writer wants to dedicate three hours to describe something we already know he can do it and it may be vital for the flow and quality of the story. Not everyone should even attempt to do this, but there is no real reasson why you should not give information that the reader may know. If you add too much it's just a matter of giving a use, even if it's structure or prose only, so it doesn't feel like "okay, I already know this"

[Anonymous No.5391367]

>>5389292
>Someone with something to die for is an insult to those with nothing to live for. Most people live passively, for the sake of living. Life for life's sake is the most insidious and tedious form of death.
I like this a lot

[Anonymous No.5391380]

>>5389843
You later openly express your character thooughts, you can't expect the reader to chose when to read his intentions freely and when to follow you.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391406]

>>5391380

Is there any dissonance between his intentions and mine? Between his point of view and mine? If not identical, they are at least parallel.

[Anonymous No.5391433]

>>5389255
How long do you think the story will be?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391442]

>>5391433

40 page novella. Definitely not a novel. One chapter, to be read in one sitting, somewhere between one and two hours long.

[Savage Detective !!CYPA5nuFg7o No.5391460]

It's interesting enough as meta-commentary, but in its incomplete form, it lacks any real edge. Come back when it's finished.

>>5391442
Forty pages in one to two hours? Come on, man.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391481]

>>5391460

<Cordwell> "It's interesting enough as meta-commentary, but in its incomplete form, it lacks any real edge. Come back when it's finished."
<Cordwell> this is the truth, fuck
<Cordwell> FUCK
<Cordwell> WHY DO I KEEP WHORING THIS SHIT OUT
<Cordwell> I tried deleting the thread but it's too old
<Cordwell> okay fine, now I have advance publicity. I'll get a Kickstarter going to refund my MW3 rental

[Anonymous No.5391515]

This whole thread is so incredibly sad. I hope you can figure out why someday.

[Anonymous No.5391525]

>>5391406
It's not a matter of dissonance between one idea presented and another. If you let the reader know you are concious of his thoughts and will express them when necessary the reader won't do that job, you got them covered.
Previously I mentioned that you can shift focus between narrator and character if you're not gonna do something about it, and even so you have to be very delicate so we can settle on one interpretation and work on top of it. Otherwise you're getting the reader on the defense, which is a resource that's good to use but only if you want to.

[Anonymous No.5391597]

>>5389695
Can you stop jerking off? Nobody cares about your narcissism with a side order of an inferiority complex. It's not a bad read but stop pretending you're a tortured revolutionary.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391647]

>>5391597
>Can you stop jerking off?

Read >>5391051

If I were a narcissist I wouldn't need to make this thread. If I had an inferiority complex I wouldn't be posting with a tripcode. Those two conditions pretty much cancel each other out, btw.

>It's not a bad read

Well thanks!

>stop pretending you're a tortured revolutionary.

I am! I'm sorry!

[Anonymous No.5391693]

Holy fuck if janitor applications were opened right now I'd consider applying just so I could delete this thread.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391795]

>>5391693

But then it wouldn't be suicide, Anon.

[Anonymous No.5391869]

What happened to beating bored average white guys in the shmup and halo threads over the head with baudrillard and the anxiety of icy's influence? Did that finally get too boring and unrewarding for you?

I assume it must have been tiresome for you in any case, toiling away under your surrogate father's shadow. What's the story now, are you trying your hand at being a writer or something? It's probably the next best thing insofar as you don't seem to have the self-discipline to study philosophy proper (you're young, it's understandable). That's certainly more admirable anyway, I can at see potential in this area. I'd like to say that you are becoming your own man but I still see very prevalent signs of being the same sort of needy, feminine histrionic you were about three to five years ago. Why hasn't this changed, why the insistence on play-acting?

It's not even that you're playing around with different perspectives of thought or feeling, which would at least represent some progress, you're still drastically trying to force your own viewpoint on the world when it lacks the experience and knowledge it would need to truly blossom. Sure, you've gone through Baudrillard and Icy and a handful of others, but the emphasis has always been on conveying your own thought (with the help of others') the unquestioned assumption being that you have worthwhile thought in the first place.

How are we going to fix this, Orwell? Are we going to have to take away your computer for a couple of years and put you in awkward and uncomfortable situations before you'll finally start to get shit together?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5391989]

>>5391869
>Are we going to have to take away your computer for a couple of years
>We
>We
>We

Oh no Dad, please no. I promise I won't ever go on Reddit again, Papa Anon. Never ever. Not even for cringepics!

>It's not even that you're playing around with different perspectives of thought or feeling

That's kind of how I've gotten to where I am now. My viewpoint today would've been inconceivable from where I stood a year ago or longer. It's not like I'm exclusively exposed to Baudrillard and icy either, and for fuck's sake icy's shut himself off entirely except for the drip-feed of semi-amusing autofellatio incidents on orgyofthewill.net.

>the unquestioned assumption being that you have worthwhile thought in the first place.

"Is my thought worthwhile?" is the single question that's put me in writer's block for months, is the reason I've made this thread, is the utmost cause for all my anxiety and quavering self-esteem. I have a viewpoint and I'm alienated from it too. I am a chronic procrastinator rapidly developing into an insecure manchild. You have no idea, dude.

Man, did you even read the story?

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5392023]

>>5391869
>being the same sort of needy, feminine histrionic you were about three to five years ago. Why hasn't this changed, why the insistence on play-acting?

It's self-parody. You're probably among those who couldn't tell Ode to Halo 4 was just hilarious, and I haven't really outdone it since :(

For the others:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PfcimpK3Fo

[Anonymous No.5392033]

>Man, did you even read the story?
share icy's n00ds and I'll consider it ;)

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5392043]

>>5392033

Go away.

There's not even anything interesting aside from the passports.

[Anonymous No.5392086]

Hi, my name is Mussolini Kafka and here's my review of Far Cry 2: Best game ever, you're a subhuman artfag if you disagree. Please pay €35 to continue reading.

[Anonymous No.5392091]

I wish more tripfags were like OP

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5392128]

>>5392091

that's going on the final cover

[Anonymous No.5392447]

>>5392023
>I feel wonderful!
Thanks, Orwell. You've put me in tears.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5392739]

>>5392447

There's a trailer for it too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1KWavIBkgk

Shameless thread bump.

[Anonymous No.5392989]

>>5389886
Look, although I have read the entirety of your sn draft, I haven't gone down to the bottom of your thread yet. But I think I have enough information to make an assessment of you.

You're a Narcissist who has made the decision to ignore the world around you, with its various eccentricities and quirks.

>If Jesus hadn't been condemned to crucifixion, he would've had to do it himself.

It is indeed true that Jesus was martyred, but only dark- age spastics and backwater fundamentalists focus on this part of his life in place of his previous teachings.

Please don't kill yourself, choose life. A good man is ultimately judged on his actions, not on his final words. And when you die, it's highly likely that your loved ones will judge the legitimacy of that 4000 word self- love letter on how worthy you where as a son, or how reliable you where as a friend.

And if it is inadequacy, then please understand that I love you, even though I haven't met you.

[Anonymous No.5393016]

>>5389292
>Someone with something to die for is an insult to those with nothing to live for...

I agree.
I'll see you in Valhalla, and we'll go dragon hunting.

[DJ Orwell !!BK/RnzYxLVZ No.5393043]

>>5392989

I'm fucking speechless with lol and I nearly choked on my mozzarella sticks.

You won't be loving me for long, lol. Not when you actually read this thread.

[Anonymous No.5393043,1]

Hey DJ didn't read u book but

you say u samefag with multiple personalities,

this question is important:

do you have tinnitus? It's important.

[Anonymous No.5393043,2]

>>5393016

"I'm trying to keep them alive."

"You're just letting them
die slower."

[Anonymous No.5393043,3]

DJ Orwell still hasn't replied ...

I guess he committed suicide.

yay?