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/lit/ - Literature

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407872 No.407872 [Reply] [Original]

when was the last time you got laid, /lit/?

>> No.407877

Last night.

>> No.407879

reported

>> No.407880

months ago

>> No.407882

never

>> No.407886

>>407882

>> No.407888

Never but then again, I've never tried. It's not high on my list of priorities.

>> No.407892

you're never lonely if you have a good book :3

>> No.407893
File: 25 KB, 500x375, lego-batman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
407893

>> No.407897

Four years ago ;_;

>> No.407900

sage

>> No.407902

months ago

>> No.407903
File: 15 KB, 255x400, batman_battle_armour_play.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
407903

>> No.407906

So much butthurt...

>> No.407909

ive slept with circa 30 women, its been 8 months since i had sex last, i couldnt care less at this point

>> No.407911
File: 69 KB, 450x524, 85697_lego-batman-the-videogame-20070327102744355.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
407911

>> No.407912

January :/

>> No.407914

23rd of January 2010. Yeah, i keep real good track of that shit, because it doesnt happen very often.
It was 84th time I had sex, ever, and I am in my mid-twenties. Yeah, i really count that shit. Its sad. Because, unlike some other posters, its very high on my priority list.
What has this to do with literature?

>> No.407918

>>407911
why the batman?

>> No.407921

>>407909
wow, they either shot your balls of, or they threw you out of the local brothel, because 30 is not a bad number

>> No.407923

>>407914
>What has this to do with literature?

>23rd of January 2010. Yeah, i keep real good track of that shit, because it doesnt happen very often.
It was 84th time I had sex, ever, and I am in my mid-twenties. Yeah, i really count that shit. Its sad. Because, unlike some other posters, its very high on my priority list.

>> No.407934

>>407918
I was planning on doing a bat-jack but I don't care anymore.

>> No.407944

About a year ago. :/

>> No.407951

>>407872
>no girls in this picture.jpg

>> No.407956

>>407921
6'3 and confident plus 5 years in University. Finish Masters, move to a different town, work as a junior software developer. I work 50-55 hours a week, the money is great i suppose. I dont even..

>> No.407960

Never :3.

Blown last night though, shit was so cash.

>> No.407961

yesterday

>> No.407964

>What has this to do with literature?
you'd expect a litrate person to spin a fine tale or two of his amorous endeavours

>> No.407975

>>407964
I can repost the copypasta I made on /b/ like a year ago about earning my red wings if you like, but that's it.

>> No.407978

i got a handjob in the school cafeteria by a monstrous woman far below my level.

>> No.407981

>>407975
That would be a great /lit/ thread, posting the pastas we have created over the years.

>> No.407989

>>407981
Do you think many of us have made any? It makes sense I suppose.

>> No.407998

>>407989
Im not sure, I suppose not. I only have one saved, and only becuase i used it recently.

>> No.408004

yesterday. these other posts are surprising me, i thought this would be the most frequently laid board.

i guess i just assumed all of /lit/ composed of twee couples in committed relationships that span years.

>> No.408010 [SPOILER] 
File: 106 KB, 450x293, thedecent.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
408010

>>407998
One time my gf and I woke up very early in the morning when it was still too dark to see (and she has one of those blackout blinds too so it was literally impossible to make anything out).

So we start fucking and it gets pretty wild. First I'm just fingering her, but then I'm eating her out, then I've got her going wild on top, underneath, from behind, etc. I even got up on my feet at one point with my hands supporting me against the wall so I could thrust into her even deeper.

It was pretty great sex, in my opinion /b/. Afterwards we kissed and cuddled a lot, with me running my hands all over her, putting my slimy fingers in her mouth, and vice versa for a good hour or so after the actual sex. We're all over each other and it's perfect, anon. Total bliss.

Eventually we decide it's time to get some breakfast. Let's face it, we've earned it. So I get up, put the light on, and turn to admire my angelic, cherubic beloved...

Pic related.

>> No.408014

last friday, ex girlfriend, fuck up relationship we been have sex for months now

>> No.408015

>>408004
As opposed to lonely, socially retarded nerds? Oh my friend.

>> No.408031

>i got a handjob in the school cafeteria by a monstrous woman far below my level

>last friday, ex girlfriend, fuck up relationship we been have sex for months now

>shit was so cash

how evocative

>> No.408073

wow, social retards all over the place... i chose to pay for my sexual relations at least, like a real provider, you know? like a man!

>> No.408113

valentine's day. My first time actually <3

>> No.408116

>>408014
Ouch. These are difficult situations to extricate yourself from. I hope you aren't getting strained emotionally. Dead serious.

I haven't had sex since the beginning of the year. I have, since the middle of 2009, been trying to pursue casual sex. Mixed results. A couple different partners; most of them very uninteresting in bed. I was kind of concerned last month but I'm kind of hitting celebate stride now. I stopped seeking the casual lay because I'm between jobs and I can't afford to do it anymore (stick around in the bars, etc). Lots of time to read though.

Pic related, it's an awesome book about the diminishing returns of polygamous sex.

>> No.408119

>>408073
not in this economy

>> No.408133
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408133

had a threesome with my g/f and her married best friend saturday night.
then got more of the pus from my g/f last night.
jealous?
Oh and I got a sackfull of issac asimov and star wars paperbacks for 5 bucks today.

>> No.408135

September

>> No.408151

scuze me for writing bad prose but english aint my first language, i'm more the chinese person, well here i was having piss drunk having met a soul mate piss drunk co-student soulmate with fairly endearing forms.
neither blubber, nor auschwitz but your average mid-20s thing with a somewhat strange skin disease and a disproportionally large jawbone but that all is compensated by a charming grin.
besides, i never judge women by their face.
so here i am finding more and more things we've got in common - it doesn't happen too often you find a woman you can speak to about jagatai while clutching a beer and now i find out she's doing a paper on khan huyuk, knowing jack about that outside what little there is written on baidu.
i seize the moment quoting his letter to the pope. nobody knows him better than me, really, so it's win for both of us.
and she asks if i got plans for the evening - why, no, of course i don't
"so you wanna go dancing?" she says and before i can utter a word some other bloke shouts "I do", "but, i'd prefer dancing in the closet" and off they go.
true story.
bummer.

>> No.408155

>>408133
>jealous
>sackfull [sic] of science fiction paperbacks

Er...

>> No.408160

>>408151
my brother does this hes been ballin since

>> No.408182

>>408160
your brother is an awful person
sacrifice him to the gods

>> No.408201

>>408151
later that day got thrown own out for being too intensively charming twards the barmaid.

that was my closest encounter with sex.

>> No.408215
File: 172 KB, 322x312, 1268108826711.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
408215

>>407879
HURR DURR

go away

>> No.408220

about 7 years ago

>> No.408225

>intensively charming
WHY ARE YOU THREATENING TO RAPE PEOPLE

>> No.408250

moar

>> No.408642

i had more sex than you will ever have.

>> No.409601

>>407888
This. Maybe I should fap less...

>> No.409604

Virgin!
And not broken up about it.

>> No.409606

>>409604
Be broken up about it. Sex is awesome.

>> No.409610

Last week, sex is awesome

>> No.409611

Virgin, scared it will hurt.

>> No.409615

>weakness of the mind

>> No.409617

NEVER!

>> No.409621

Never. I'm only 21 though, so it's not too bad. I'm giving myself four more years and then I end it all, or just cut out the middleman and join a monastic order.

>> No.409626

>>409611

Let me guess, you have a boyfriend you've kept waiting for months and months, because you're 'just not ready'.

>> No.409644

Last millennium. I'm not counting the anonymous gay sex though.

>> No.409652

>>409621
i went to a catholic schools throughout my childhood and the fact that all of my teachers were celibate for all their life fills me with inspiration and awe...don't care for their religious beliefs though

>> No.409656

August of last year.

Feels good man

>> No.409660

>>409621
When you join a monastic order you become the middle man, if you catch my drift

>> No.409688

Last Sunday

>> No.409704

>>407872
Couple of hours ago.

Can this thread be over now?

>> No.409710

Uhm, two weekends ago.

Then he dumped my ass :(

>> No.409748

Last week

>> No.409749

Spent today having sex :-P it'd been a month, we were happy to see each other again. Fucked through V of Vendetta and The Breakfast Club lol.

>> No.409753

MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP MOOT!

>> No.411897

last time i had sex was 9 month ago.
next time shall be the holidays.

>> No.411899

You had sex with a 9 month old baby?

>> No.411913

nope, but that's a fine idea
i'm off to the interzone

>> No.411938

I haven't had sex for 5 or 6 years. And then the chick was not very good looking, sad to say. My constant self-critiquing has made me pretty damn impressive in my professional field, but it doesn't work so well for trying to get laid. Plus most of the last 4 years or so I've been working 50+ hours.

>> No.411939

>>409652
I wonder how many were actually celibate.

>> No.411979

>>411939
the only catholic theology student I know is a devoted ass-rapist and sadist.

>> No.411989

sage

>> No.412001

>>411989
noge

>> No.412003

>>407956

So you don't get laid, you get paid?

Also, I know why I'm a virgin now.

>> No.412010

-_-

>> No.412011

>>407892
Agreed. =3

>> No.412019

>>412003
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism

>> No.412038

tonight.

>> No.412086

convincing story or it didn't happen

>> No.412096

I'm staying celibate until marriage.

>> No.412171

that's nothing. I'll stay celibate after marriage!

>> No.412177

>/lit/ creates a relationships thread

wtf

>> No.412211

TWAS ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO I REMMEBER IT WELL

>> No.412214

stories, literates! I'd expect you to post stories!

>> No.412217

Last week

>> No.412219

Twice today.

>> No.412266

two weeks ago with my GF (we don't hang out that often cause of conflicting schedules). It was brief but as always, satisfying. We usually do it with her on top, starting slow and building up the pace until we both climax, me shooting my jizzum deep inside of her, and she collapses ontop of me with a satisfied "ahh" I cant wait till we do it again this weekend

>> No.412272

>>412266

> and she collapses ontop of me with a satisfied "ahh"

> satisfied

objection

facts not in evidence

>> No.412305
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412305

Why is this thread still on the front page? Seriously, fuck this board.

>> No.412312

>>412305
I hear ye

>> No.412318

A month ago, because my girlfriend has had a fucking yeast infection. Shit is nasty.

Still get head and pegged though, so it's all good.

>> No.412320

>>412318

>pegged

I hate you so much

>> No.412326

>>412320
why

>> No.412329

>>412272

It's really not that hard to make a girl cum dude

>> No.412330

>>412329

It's apparently not hard for a girl to make you think she did, anyway.

>> No.412335

>>412330

she gets wet, and she keeps comin back for more. Either way It works for me!

>> No.412340

>>412326

te envidio

>> No.412343

>>412340
I see.

That's the common response.

>> No.412347

December 2009

>> No.412351

Um, about five or six years ago? I don't much like sex (which is to say I like thinking, reading, and watching shows about it but I don't particularly like the act as applied to me) so it's not a worry.

>> No.412360

most of you are full of shit im sure. the ones who do get some, good job, i know i get pussy at least every week with a certain lady. get out there and make some girls love you /lit/

>> No.412365

>>412360
and by love i mean of course recognize your sexual prowess. +10 points if you find the little man in the boat

>> No.412370

>>412365

>the little man in the boat

I approve of this comical appellation

>> No.412371

>>412360

If she's giving out pussy then she ain't no lady, son.

>> No.412376

>>412371
by lady i mean she is 36 and is a woman. other applications of the term notwithstanding

>> No.412392

Yesterday. I live with my girlfriend.

>> No.412463

2 or 3 days ago, i lost my virgnity when I was 16, i'm know 22 and have never gone more than two weeks without sex. I think things are different in England.

>> No.412476

i had sex yesterday in a birch groove with manly red army officer during the great patriotic war.

>> No.412498

22, never

>> No.412500

>>412463
where in england are you?

>> No.412524

Yesterday, the whole day :-)

>> No.412546

read a book, ronryfags

>> No.413152

sex vs. books
what would you chose?

>> No.413175

>>413152

Sex is for the weak.

>> No.413209

i has a girlfriend. but we went from having sex every day to two years later- sex once a week lol

i've just tagged it so many times where i don't care so much. sad story.

>> No.413219

>>413209
You should consider having an affair.

>> No.413220
File: 371 KB, 800x600, D3VQ5PUXEPGUNDIRVBTDE33O5QJTIA3A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
413220

>> No.413221

this thread is still around? wow

>> No.413226

>>413221
And not a single thread I had hoped to see this morning from last night stuck it out. I guess this is just what we're more about discussing.

>> No.413230

>>413226
you can go back farther than page '0' and thread necro. people do it here all the time

>> No.413234

sage

>> No.413236

>>413230
First thing I did when I got in this morning was browse from 15 on up to here.

Like I said, nothing made it.

>> No.413238

>>413236
crazy, all the bullshit threads i was in made it. and those shouldn't have been started to begin with

>> No.413246

> 23rd of January 2010. Yeah, i keep real good track of that shit, because it doesnt happen very often.

with posters like this, no wonder this shit is so popular

>> No.413249

garbage thread

>> No.413270

>>413219
we live together but aren't married...yet.

trust me, i've been tempted. the girl who works in the store next door is incredibly beautiful but is married. besides her i can't think of anyone else i'd risk it with. my girlfriend treats me so well. if you met her you'd understand why i can't cheat.

>> No.413280

>>413270
Uh huh. Well if she's married you ought to feel more justified.

Keeping yourself from infidelity because your girlfriend "treats you so well" has vague and questionable undertones to it. How much more uninvolved with this woman's body do you have to be before you accept that sex with her won't hold the same interest ever again?

Are you hoping to keep yourself kindly until your virility dies out? I bet you're too young to be done sowing oats.

>> No.413314

in january.

>> No.413321

sage

>> No.413331

>>413280
ha. you're funny. hope you're still around. i'm 28. i'm with my girlfriend because i do love her. i'll admit its not the kind of love i imagined for myself but i figure only 1 in 3027502983542 find that kind of goodness. i'm with my girlfriend because she's responsible, financially stable, i can trust her and she doesn't think i'm a jackass. if i had kids with her i know she'd be a great mother. she really is my best friend. i feel a man should be happy to have what i've listed.

>> No.413361

being a member of engineers without borders, I've been to haiti for a couple of weeks.
the american soldiers would get their cocks blown right through the fence, for just a dollar.

>> No.413372

>>413361
soooo, you didnt get laid in Haiti is what I get from this

>> No.413497

>>409611
It won't if I do it fast!

>> No.416265

Last Sunday. My gf has Borderline Personality Disorder so I'm weathering out one of her bad weeks til next week when general nymphomania ensues.

>> No.416267

sage

>> No.416267,1 [INTERNAL] 

[size=12]N　O　　T　H　A　N　K　　Y　O　U　！

　 /＼＿＿_／＼
／　／　　 　ヽ ::: ＼
|　（●）,　、（●）、　|
|　　,,ノ(、_, )ヽ、,, 　 |
|　　　,;‐＝‐ヽ 　 .:::::|
＼　　｀ニニ´　 .:::／
／｀ー‐--‐‐―´´＼
　 　　　　 .ｎ:n　　　 ｎｎ
　 　 　　nf|｜| 　　　| | |^!n
　 　 　　ｆ|.| | ∩　　∩|..| |.|
　 　 　　|: ::　 ! }　　{！ ::: :|
　 　　　 ヽ　　,ｲ 　　ヽ　 :ｲ[/size]

>> No.416267,2 [INTERNAL] 

N O T H A N K Y O U !

>> No.416267,3 [INTERNAL] 

sneed

>> No.416267,4 [INTERNAL] 

chuck's feed and seed?

>> No.416267,5 [INTERNAL] 

wow, what a bunch of losers