/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2142656]

Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie Rae Thon? I went to a literary event last week where she read a couple short stories... has anyone read one of her novels?

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ No.2142743]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
First met just outside of Syracuse sometime in the 80s. Awkward at first, but quite an experience it was. It was later though, deep winter months, in an upstate cabin, we argued. The next morning I knew I had to go. I wrote my goodbye in the snow.
If you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.2142751]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
Early 90s. I saw her first at a literary conference where she was lecturing on the impact of the feminine object in early 20th century German literature. We met later that day in a cafe and proceeded to spend the day together. She was everything wonderful I could imagine in a women: intelligent, articulate, and sexy. But ultimately we didn't end up going to bed together because of a complex she had involving her ex-husband's new fiancée and their bastard disabled daughter conceived while Melanie and he were honeymooning.

[Anonymous No.2142754]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
ah, melanie... where do i begin? we shared a grape crush once, and a windy afternoon, in a forlorn iowa greyhound station. how the corn rustled that day. but who could tame her? who could hold fire in the palm of his hand and not feel the sting of the flame? i've rued that day, melanie, but even at my worst i know it was pure luck

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ No.2142753]

>>2142751
Oh, hey Tom.

[Anonymous No.2142756]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
I am overcome with nostalgia. In fact, her and I were once bound to each other as childhood friends in a pseudo-blood brothers type connection. The story is as follows: it was late one night during a summer when both our families were vacationing together in Dark Harbour, the parents had taken to socializing over drinks in the front room which left us the upper floors of the summer home to engage in our childhood play fantasies. For hours we would lie on top of one another, buttocks to buttocks, and slowly poop back and forth.

[Anonymous No.2142762]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
Oh, Melanie! She and I and another woman were involved in a beautiful and functional ménage à trois with an unfortunate end. But this was how things were done in those days! Thanks to her, my memories of graduate school is a complete blur. I believe it was her who once proclaimed, "Every child must have a memory of the mammary."

[Anonymous No.2142763]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie Rae Thon

It was an early evening in May, 1991. I had given a ride to Dave Sim on the way back from Cincinnati Comicon and as I dropped him off at the airport he handed me a folded piece of paper with a phone number on it. Melanie was on the other end.

Our meeting was awkward at first. She only wanted to discuss Hitler; she had recently acquired a copy of Savitri Devi's _The Lightning and the Sun_ and believed that it explained twentieth-century history more accurately than the structuralist Marxism she had been taught at the Sorbonne; but she couldn't confess it in public for obvious reasons. I realized that she wanted me, a stranger, to hear the story of her conversion. Like the Shia Muslims, who practice _taqiyya_ (concealment) when traveling among hostile outsiders, she carried her secret knowledge close to her heart.

A few years ago, passing through Albany, New York, I stopped in a local Barnes & Noble. I found a copy of one of her novels in the remainder bin. When I read it in the light of what I knew, its esoteric meaning became clear.

Sometimes I look at the gathering clouds and shudder.

[Anonymous No.2142765]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
Melanie had seen and done it all, but that day I knew it was time to bring out the anal cannon. The anal cannon is loaded when a funnel is placed into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it. After the ass is filled with puke, a cock then fucks it until the pressure is all built up. After the asshole has been fucked hard enough, the cock is pulled out and the anal cannon explodes!

[Anonymous No.2142766]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
i had an idea that i may have seen the shadow of Melanie and am not surprised to see her and remember her lavender hoody fondly and with regret.
(credit [or blame] goes to another Anon who wrote this)

[Anonymous No.2142774]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
Melanie, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Mel-lan-ie: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. All I can say is I would drag my dick through three miles of crushed and jagged soda cans simply to hear this woman fart through a walkie-talkie.

[Anonymous No.2142784]

Shit, I have one tab open to /lit/ and one tab on Amazon purchasing some Melanie Rae Thon novels. Take notes, Tao Lin, this is how Internet marketing is done.

[Anonymous No.2142787]

>>2142784
While you're there, check also "Anal Cannon"

[Anonymous No.2142790]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie

During the ritual one is not supposed to see the faces of the others; the masks are elaborate and rich with significances. But as I knelt before the mirror I couldn't help but look up from the flickering reflection of the torches. In a moment of exhilaration she had lifted the mask; between the Hierophant and the First Luminaire stood Melanie, her face flushed with excitement, the mask of the Goat thrown back over her enchanting long hair. She was nude except for the mask -- we all were -- and her breasts were small and pert; but when the Sergeant-at-Arms saw that my gaze had slipped, he brought his baculus down on the nape of my neck and I fell unconscious.

I came to on a park bench on 19th Street. Several days later I received a letter; in gold ink on rich green paper it told me that I had failed the initiatory test and would hear no more from the Brotherhood.

[Anonymous No.2142801]

>>2142787
Fuck off, Tao. I'm deciding whether to purchase "The Voice in the River" or "Iona Moon." Aw shit, I can't decide. I'll just put them both in my cart!
:)

[Anonymous No.2142811]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
"Melanie," the night coos, like some angelic pigeon sent to beguile -- or to torment? It was the eve of her National Foundation for the Arts Award. She rose, a vision in hotness, when I flung open the door to her room at the Marriott. "Who are you?" she lilted, in a voice like the Venus de Milo dipped in a vat of honey. I asked whether this exquisite creature might deign to sign my San Jose Sharks visor. How chaste, how demure those fingers that dialed the number for Hotel Security. 811 -- that is the number of our love.

[Anonymous No.2142818]

This thread is the most fun I've had on /lit/ in weeks

[Anonymous No.2142832]

It's teim fellows.

http://chanarchive.org/requests

[Anonymous No.2142859]

>>2142832,
yeah because anyone's actually going to bother digging through a slow, porn-infested website just to read one of the slightly more amusing threads from one of 4chan's least frequented boards

[Anonymous No.2142869]

>>2142859
This.
/lit/'s canon is anal.

[Anonymous No.2142870]

My boy Yung Loc hit me up with an intro to the VIP section up in the English Language & Literature faculty lounge and I rolled in around 3 AM, fucked up off a bottle of Henny and two blunts full of fine kush. And that's when I saw her.

I mean, I been with white bitches on some jungle fever shit before, but you know how it be -- those some nasty-ass Wal-Mart bitches. This bitch was CLASSY. Honey dip hair down her back and for a white girl shorty had a damn fat ass. Looked like she kept herself fine doing that Pilates shit.

So I'm spitting game to shorty and she tells me she had just won an award from Granta. I ain't know what that shit is but I know a dime when I see one, knawmean? So I tell her look, I got the Escalade parked outside -- why don't you and me go for a ride? She wanted a drink first so I hit the bar for some Moet. This wasn't no hoodrat chick, I was trying to be smooth.

But when I got back I saw Tayshaun from the 40 block throwing game to her. You know that nigga Tayshaun? Used to roll with Slim and Big Tre from East Uptown?

When I saw that nigga, I knew shit was ON. I put that hood shit in my past, you know what I mean, but back then I was on the come up -- I had to get a rep. And I was rolling deep with my boys. Shots started poppin and damn if that bitch didn't handle herself perfectly calm and collected like she was on some Foxy Brown shit -- just said to me, "brother, I don't know your name, but you know how to throw down -- why don't you show me that Escalade?"

And shorty was a FREAK. You know what I'm sayin'?

Two days later the 5-0 showed up at my door. They traced the bullet out of Tayshaun and I did a fifteen-year bid upstate. But was it worth it? Nigga, for ten more minutes with dat ass I'd do it all over again.

They don't make dimes like Melanie any more. Sometimes I think about calling her up, looking her number up on some Internet shit -- but you gotta put the past behind you, knawmean? Pass me that blunt.

[Anonymous No.2142873]

>>2142859
. . . says the man who has never had an experience with Melanie.

[Anonymous No.2142875]

>>2142873
Hey! It's you again? Remember this last time when I wanted to place a funnel into an asshole, and the 2nd whore pukes into it?

[Anonymous No.2142877]

>>2142870
>dat ass

[Anonymous No.2142895]

>>2142870

forgot your greentext bro
if it doesn't start with
>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
it doesn't count

[Anonymous No.2142909]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
Yeah, I think I remember her. She lectured at my school once. I didn't attend but my friend Barnabas says he started nodding off like five min. in and then left

[Anonymous No.2144398]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie

I used to party with the dudes from Posion back in the day. Did you know she wrote a lot of their lyrics? It's true, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is all her.

Never tapped that ass but I would have liked to, Nikki Sixx had first dibs every time she came around backstage though.

[Anonymous No.2144926]

Why wub woo, /wit/

[Anonymous No.2144970]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie
I went to bed with her in my post-prostitution days. I'll never know what it was she had that made me desire her the way I did. We would always start off doing in the normal way, and after I begged enough and got her hot enough she would let me stick it in her pussy.

[Anonymous No.2144982]

Sorry to derail the thread, but has anyone of you found a funnel somewhere?

[Anonymous No.2144987]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie Rae Thon?
Yes, we have been partners together in consensual sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

[Anonymous No.2144992]

>>2144982
That joke was so last night, bro.

[Anonymous No.2145032]

>>2144987

So you're that faggot ex-husband of hers, huh?

Take some advice from ol' Hank, buddy, and watch your back. I was in a bar a while back, real seedy place down in the Tenderloin, just there to watch the fights and knock back a couple whiskeys. This spade comes in, real mean-looking motherfucker, got fresh bullet scars up and down his left shoulder - and I did a stretch in Folsom, kid, so I know from mean motherfuckers - said his name was Tayshaun and he was looking for a dame named Melanie. Now I didn't know nothing about no Melanie, not then, but I could see this bastard was pissed. Said he had waited for her all the time he was in the hospital and the dame didn't show. She'd run off to Tijuana to get married - a real square, too, some accountant from back east with a name like Wilmer or Lester - said she was leaving the fast life behind and settling down. But I know women like that. It never lasts.

Are you that accountant, kid? Lissen, I don't give a fuck she's not your wife any more. You get yourself a gun, kid, and a dog, a real mean one - and don't ever get off the freeway in East Uptown.

And if you love your son, buddy - you stay away from those whaddyacallits, those DNA tests. The ones you see on the daytime shows. Some things a man doesn't need to know. Treat the kid right, buddy, and maybe he won't end up like old Hank here. And listen, could ya spare ten bucks?

[Anonymous No.2145042]

>>2144992
newfag

[Anonymous No.2145317]

>>2145032
Ten dollars? Yes of course, let me--oh twenty? Well, I don't see why not.--Right, for bus fare. That's what I assumed.

What's that? Oh I don't know. I'd rather not mention Melanie, especially since she's not here to tell her side of the story. Well, if you'd really like to know, I don't think it would be absolutely unethical to share my experience, since everyone seems to have his own tale.

First, no, we MET in Tiajuana, though we were married soon after. I was only there to attend my older brother's bachelor party.

Tiajuana--a filthy place. Not that I'm a racist, mind you. After all, Canton isn't the renoun for its architecture or opera. Really, if we weren't neighboring West Virginia, we'd be even more embarrassed of ourselves than we already are. And I didn't mean that Tiajuana is filthy in the sense that it doesn't have a totally functioning sanitation system. I meant, it humiliates itself by catering to American vices. I know it's not their fault--if anything, it's ours--but that doesn't take away from them being no better than whores for what they do for our money.

Anyway, that's where I met her, at the hotel bar where I was intentionally late to my brother's party. It was my form of silent protest. I dislike leaving Canton, much less the office--yes, the office of OUR father's business, the business I've given my whole life to. I know, I know, I am hamming up the role of the diligent but neglected son to my brother's command performance as the prodigal son, but to be fair, there are only so many roles you can act out in life, roles that you are cast in even before you know that you have already auditioned for them.

[Anonymous No.2145319]

>>2145317
But Melanie--she also knew how to play her role that night. She was the one who approached me, me who sat alone my bar stool the entire night, stalking me quitely over time and gaining my trust, as though I were a lost kitten or wild game. Oh I knew she was playing me. In her, I sensed the unmistakable charm and disloyalty of a self-possessed teenage runaway. But I didn't care. When I looked over at her, pale and willowy, her hand folded over mine in tenderness and faithlessness, I wanted to lose everything to her, and I knew that I would.

[Anonymous No.2145685]

bump

[Anonymous No.2146061]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie

Melanie? Lester's ex-wife? Oh my, yes. I was so proud of him when they got engaged. He's not like his brother, you know. Junior has always had a way with women. He takes after his father in that regard. Oh, don't act shocked -- I've been around long enough to learn a few things, dearie, and I know that when the cat's away the mice will play. It wasn't that little tart of a secretary that he came home to every night for forty years, I can tell you that much. But Charles knew when it was time to stop playing and get to work, and poor Junior has never quite learned that second part. He's in Austria now, still married to that awful Mexican dancer woman, and he says he's going to be a competitive windsurfer.

Oh, yes, of course -- Australia, not Austria. Austria's where he goes skiing.

But where was I? Melanie. Yes, I was so proud for Lester -- such a beautiful woman -- and so sophisticated! Educated in Paris and Oxford, an artist's model in New York City. Charles, that old goat, he said Lester wasn't going to be able to keep her. That was Charles's way, when he didn't trust someone -- no manners. It was that mountain blood in him. But Melanie and I, we got on famously. Why, this one time, at the lake -- oh, my. I shouldn't mention that.

But anyways, I was so happy for Lester. I still have a book of her poetry here somewhere. I didn't understand it, of course. My father the Colonel loved poetry -- Kipling, of course -- he used to read it to us as children, and it's why my brother shipped out to the war so early. Kipling, now there's a poet for you! But the professors these days say he's a racist. Ah, well.

[Anonymous No.2146062]

>>2146061

Melanie's poetry -- so strange! I suppose she picked her "avant-garde" sensibility up in Paris, but to tell the truth, I can't imagine that girl needing to be taught anything. I imagine her just coming out of the hospital, a little baby, and she's already got that long blonde hair and those piercing eyes. Some women will always look nineteen, you know, no matter how old they get.

Oh, there's no need to butter me up, dear. I kept myself in good shape in my day, enough to keep Charles on a short leash -- but I'm an old woman now, and I'm entitled to a second slice of cake once in a while.

Yes, it's a shame about the divorce. But you know, Lester got custody of the children, and I'm told that doesn't happen often. He's absolutely devoted to Jared -- we all are. Just made junior varsity running back, did you know that? To tell you the truth -- and please don't spread this around -- we're hoping he'll take over the business when Lester ages. Yes, dear, I *am* talking about my will.

Oh, I'll leave a little something to Junior. What was it Melanie's divorce lawyer used to tell us -- "the style to which she is accustomed"? But Junior needs to learn to stand on his own feet one of these days. No, I'm donating to the University. It never hurts, you know. Jared's a bright boy, but he doesn't apply himself, and it's good to have a favor you can call in when the time comes. They're going to renovate the mathematics building and name it after Charles.

What about Claudia? Oh, dearie, we don't talk about Claudia. So beautiful -- she took after her mother, the poor girl -- but so... strange.

Pic related, it's mfw this thread has stimulated my imagination more than the novel I've been trying all year to write

[Anonymous No.2146067]

...yeah, bro, I see a ton of weird shit at my job. Comes with the territory, you know? This one black guy, I swear to god, he thinks he's MC Hammer -- you turn around for five seconds and he's got his scrubs turned into parachute pants. And when we try to put the straightjacket back on -- yeah, you guessed it. "You can't touch this!"

There's this one woman -- shows up once or twice a year to visit her daughter. Holy shit, bro, talk about a MILF. She's gotta be in her forties or fifties, but I'd do her. Seriously. If my supervisor wouldn't kick my ass for it I'd ask her out right there. Hey, hot momma, wanna go hit the parking lot behind Denny's after my shift's over?

But nah, she's a really classy lady. Got an accent, but I can't place it, you know? Like if they made a movie about her she'd be Cate Blanchett -- but younger and tighter.

What's the daughter like? What do you think she's like, bro? She's crazy!

Is she hot? Well, yeah, she IS hot. She's got her mom's hair and eyes. But there's something weird about her. Like this thing with her shoulders.

It's like... you see this salt shaker here and this ketchup. And if you got up and walked around the table, no matter where you stand the ketchup will always be taller than the salt shaker?

She's... she's not like that. It's like she's different shapes depending on which angle you're looking from.

Yes. Yes, her tits are like that too. Jesus christ, dude, can you stop thinking about pussy for like ten seconds?

[Anonymous No.2146126]

>>2146067

You remember Steve from my old band? Yeah, Putrescent Liquifaction. Those were good times. Steve was all into that occult shit, Alistair Crowley and all that. You know Jimmy Page bought his house in Scotland?

No, not Steve's house, douchenozzle. Crowley's house. Steve's back in Dayton -- he got back together with Brianne. They've got a kid coming. Crazy stuff. I keep bugging him to drive out here on the weekends and jam but he says he's gotta put in extra hours at his job.

He was telling me about this book he read one time -- that they'd do something with, like, a spirit child --

Yeah, yeah, it's all superstitious bullshit, dude. You've gotta stop with this angry atheist shit, bro. I mean, I get it, but you wonder why you can't keep a girlfriend for more than five minutes? This is why.

But yeah, this girl Claudia. Sometimes I don't even think she's crazy, you know? Like she's only staying there because she wants to, and some day she'll just stand up and walk out and we won't be able to stop her. Like she's playing with us.

Anyways, this hot MILF comes to see her once or twice a year, and when she does all I can think about is hitting that.

Does she have a father? Shit, yeah, I forgot about that -- he comes a lot more often -- like once a month. I guess they're divorced. But I hardly even remember him. He's just one of those guys, you know? A real sad sack. I swear to god dude wears a pocket protector. Her brother comes sometimes, too -- high school kid, I guess. Looks like a real meathead.

But it's the mom who's the hot one.

[Anonymous No.2146224]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie

My wife and I wanted to spice up our sex life with some Craigslist casual encounters. Melanie's was short and to the point: "SWF seeks couple for threesome. Must like freaky shit." We were nervous at first when she explained what she wanted us to do, but within an hour or two we were hooked. It was the most erotic night of our lives.

Pic related.

[Anonymous No.2146291]

Melanie Rae Thon. Hell of a dame. She changed things, but then again she always did. The first time I saw her, it was January I think, I remember thinking, that coats keeping no one warm. Turned she was hot enough. Everything she wore was tight, sexy and red. I used to say to her, "Melanie, I bet your wedding dress 'll be crotchless". She liked that, at least at first. A serious dame, but liked to laugh. I always thought a girl laughs a lot like she fucks. I ain't that funny, but she was always ready to laugh. She laughed in public, she laughed quick, she laughed hard and she could laugh like a dog if you asked nicely.
Hell of a dame.

[Anonymous No.2146365]

[Anonymous No.2147783]

It's getting good.

[Anonymous No.2148394]

Of course I remember Melanie, ese. A woman like that, she don't leave you.

It was in a bar in the Zona Centro. Some gringos were there for a wedding, and you know how those gringos get when they want to party. Me and the jefe -- he wasn't the jefe then, just a soldier in the cartel -- we had gone to see if we could move some product, you know?

So we walk in and I see her first. Blonde hair down to her ass -- nice ass for a gringa, too. I thought I could peel her off, get some drinks in her. But then I look over at the jefe and I see the look on his face. And even back then, you know, you don't fuck with him when he gets that look on his face. He had to have her.

I don't know exactly what went down. I know they spent a weekend together, in Baja del Mar. But she went back to America, got married. And when the jefe heard the news it was the worst I ever saw him. At first he couldn't get out of bed, and after a week of that he got angry, you know? Started getting real vicious. I think that's why he's the jefe now. He was always ruthless, but when he couldn't have Melanie, that made him a little crazy. Crazy enough to start gunning for the old jefe. He just didn't give a fuck any more, you know?

No, no, I don't roll with the cartel any longer. I'm studying for the priesthood now, you know that. But I visit the jefe sometimes, at the compound. He and I were brothers back then, and he takes care of family, you know? He's got women all over, supermodels, Russians, Chinese, a fleet of limousines. You see that headline the other day -- "More Powerful than the Presidente?" But man, if you told him, you have to give all this up, but you could see Melanie again -- he'd do it. He'd do it in a second.

[Anonymous No.2148411]

>>2148394
10/10, would read again.

[Anonymous No.2148419]

>>2148411

thanks bro

This is my favorite thread on /lit/ right now.

[Anonymous No.2148468]

>>2148394
I love you so fucking much for this.

[Anonymous No.2148485]

>>2142909

Only true story ITT

[Anonymous No.2148557]

I met Melanie when she was studying at the Sorbonne. An art opening in the Rue Saint-Gillaume, I believe. I had just inherited my title, so I was in fine fettle, and a bit of sport with an American seemed like precisely the thing. Now, Americans will believe anything you tell them -- every ten-lira gigolo from Monaco to Berlin will tell a little Kansas filly on her junior year abroad that he's the son of an archduke before he runs off with her camera and her money belt -- but Melanie was too intelligent to fall for that sort of legerdemain. So self-possessed, for a woman so young, and such style! She knew I was the real thing. It was my shoulders that told her, she said. I never did learn what she meant by that.

Oh, she was eager, but she made me work for it. We were at the villa in Corfu before we consummated our tryst, and I must say, it was magnificent. I made her promise to spend an evening with me whenever she visited the Continent.

So that's how it went for several years, and outside of the Grand Prix in Monaco and the festival in Bayreuth, there was no annual event which I anticipated with more delight. She drifted away when she got married -- an accountant, can you believe that? -- but after the divorce our meetings resumed where they left off.

When she asked to bring her daughter along, I was nervous. I'm no fan of having children underfoot, especially on board the yacht, and it does tend to kill the mood, n'est-ce pas? But Claudia was such a charming little darling that I allowed myself to be swayed. Fortunately, she took a shine to my manservant el-Omda -- a Tunisian Berber, he's been with my family since my father was a boy -- and he kept her busy with magic tricks and storytelling while Melanie and I enjoyed our usual diversions.

[Anonymous No.2148558]

>>2148557

That is, until the night she appeared in the bedroom. The lights were low, the wine was flowing, and we were just about to enjoy a delightful old trick that the Spanish call "el Embudo." When all of a sudden there she was, gazing at the two of us with eyes that never blinked, and I'll be damned if she weren't glowing with a light more bright than any of the lamps in the chandelier. I've been through some bedroom scrapes in my day -- pour me another drink and I'll tell you the story of how Prince Rainier caught me in bed with Grace Kelly the night before their wedding -- but never anything that couldn't be settled with an envelope full of money or an old-fashioned duel. This, on the other hand, was just appalling -- and frightening, I must confess. Needless to say, there was none of the usual delight in my stateroom that evening.

My god, but I was in a rage. In the old days you could have a servant flogged for that sort of negligence -- my grandfather used to tell me stories -- and I was ready to throttle el-Omda and send him back to Corfu in a life raft. But he swore on his sword that Claudia hadn't left his sight all evening, and the valet and the ship's cook confirmed it. He had told her a story from the Thousand and One Nights and she had shut her eyes early. And besides, my stateroom had stayed locked the whole time.

What could I do? Melanie and I tried again halfheartedly the next evening, but every time I thought I was on the brink, the image of that little girl and her glowing eyes rose up in my mind and unmanned me. We docked at Salonica, four days earlier than planned, and that was the last I saw of them.

[Anonymous No.2148559]

>>2148558

I still think of her, of course. Not many women can say that they've spent the night with a man who's both a Bourbon AND a Hapsburg, and as you've seen this evening, I'm a man of discriminating tastes. But there was something unique about Melanie. Truth be told -- you know, I've never told anyone this; it must be the brandy -- I was this close to making an honest woman of her. Europe's most notorious playboy settling down with an American! Like a scene out of Henry James, isn't it?

Would I see her again? I suppose I could. An intercontinental flight would be a trifle.

But then I think again of that daughter of hers. She must be fully grown now, but that's one young woman I hope never to see in my bedroom again. Perhaps if the daughter were somewhere far away -- China, or the East Indies. But no, I still don't think I could do it.

C'est la vie. Now pour me another drink and tell me about that young lady over there -- a Swede, you say?

[Anonymous No.2148601]

>>2148558
>el Embudo
google imaged, then lol'd mightily.

keep it going, /lit/. this is your finest hour.

[Anonymous No.2148608]

>>2148601

>el embudo
>third image
>wtf hispanaphonia? wtf?

[Anonymous No.2148614]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=977k26pKzto

[Anonymous No.2148832]

Ah, monsieur -- a pleasure to finally meet you. Sit, sit. Shall I order some wine? Espresso? The cafe seems shabby, perhaps, but to the cognoscenti it is one of the finest in Paris. I have been coming here for many years.

You wish to speak about Melanie, non? I was her tutor at the Sorbonne -- although, as I am sure others have told you, there is little that Melanie needed to be taught. She was one of the finest minds I have ever encountered. We were lovers as well, of course. You Americans, so prurient! I am told that in your country such a thing would be a scandal. But here it is a matter of course. I myself learned philosophy from Simone de Beauvoir; over a post-coital cigarette she would tell me of her difficulties with Sartre, that impotent boor.

Yes, Melanie was magnificent -- that long blonde hair, those pert, supple breasts. And her work was of the highest caliber. Had she stayed at the Sorbonne she would no doubt be a senior lecturer by now. But such women are like the wind; to stay one place for long is not in their nature.

Oui, oui, we kept in touch. I still have a collection of her letters and photographs. Would you like to see? There is a portrait that Edward Avedon took, when she worked as a model in New York City -- and here she is with Claudia. Such a beautiful daughter! I should like to know where she is now. An artist's muse like her mother, no doubt.

[Anonymous No.2148838]

>>2148832

No, monsieur, I have not heard from Melanie in many years. After she left Oxford for the second time her letters stopped. Perhaps you know and can assist me to get in touch? No? Ah, well. I am an old man now. Perhaps it is better that I remember her as she was -- young and beautiful.

My field of study was Marx; even in my old age I still carry a red banner in the May Day parades. I do not care for the present regime. Sarkozy -- such a charlatan! But I forget myself. I ought not to talk politics with a stranger -- certainly not with an American, non? But I jest, I jest. Since my retirement I have taken up the study of earlier, less worldly philosophies. I have spent much time in the manuscripts of the Chateau d'Toulouse -- and look! I have found, how do you say, an illuminated manuscript -- thirteenth century. I apologize; the photocopy is poor, and I have not yet mastered the use of the digital camera. Here you see the alchemist's alembic -- the distilling vessel. And here, the symbol of Venus. And look -- this woman, in the headdress of a luminaire -- is she not the very image of young Claudia?

[Anonymous No.2148843]

Spoiler: Most but not all of this OC, including El Jefe, is by a samefag. He'll keep doing it as long as people are interested or until he runs out of ideas, but it gets his creative juices flowing when he can riff off of quality contributions by other people.

Big ups to >>2145317, who's not the samefag, for doing a pitch-perfect milquetoast accountant and introducing his family.

[Anonymous No.2148849]

>>2148843
This is awesome, just so you know.

I love you, thread. You're the best thread.

[Anonymous No.2148875]

>>2148849

Thanks! I don't know what it is about this thread that sparked my imagination so strongly, but I'm enjoying it. Have to get to bed soon but will post moar tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.2148905]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie

Mister, I don't remember much these days. Don't have much of a reason to try, since the war, but maybe a bit of folding money might be reason to make the attempt.

Yeah, I remember her. She was the kind you remember, even when you see a hundred and fifty broads a day like me. But also, it was the way she was, the things she said. She came and bought a ticket to Albuquerque, see? And I says to her "They say it's nice there this time of year, miss", and she says "Oh, I'm not going to Albuquerque, I'm going to Paris" and I said that was fine too - Texas is a fine state.

I'll never forget the look she gave me, like she loved me I thought at the time. Anyway sir, that's my experience with Melanie - I sold her the ticket that got her out of this town, and I'm proud to have done it. Even if I never got away myself, I helped one soul to Texas.

[Anonymous No.2149438]

brits and aussies, contribute to keep this thread alive tonight

[The Anal Canon Girl No.2149896]

>>2149438
No objection.

[Anonymous No.2150575]

Glad to see this still up and running. I've had an idea but haven't made the time to write it up yet. will contribute soon.

[Anonymous No.2150886]

>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie Rae Thon?

*click*

.
.
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>Do any of you guys have experience with Melanie Rae Thon?

Who is this? How did you get this number?

Look, if you really want to talk about this, I can't do it on this phone line. There's a payphone at the gas station down the block. I'll call you back in fifteen minutes.

*click*

.
.
.

[Anonymous No.2150889]

>>2150886

Yes, it's me.

I'm sorry. I've never talked about her around my husband, and frankly, I think it's better he doesn't know. Yes, I knew Melanie at Oxford. She and I were in a menage a trois with -- oh, you've spoken to Roger? Yes. The three of us. That's right, "a memory of the mammary." Did he tell you where she came up with that? I was preparing for my fieldwork in Boğazliyan, and in our apartment I had pinned up a postcard of one of the statues -- Cybele, the mother goddess. With the hundred breasts. It's in the state museum in Ankara now, but I believe it was excavated not far from there. Roger used to enjoy lining the two of us up side by side, a breast in each side of his mouth and a finger in each... well, you know.

Roger had finished his dissertation defense that spring, and the three of us planned a trip to celebrate. The south of France. We flew to Montpellier and planned to spend a weekend there before continuing on to Toulouse, where Melanie said she wanted to do some research. A manuscript at the Chateau -- something to do with Provençal poetry, I assume? I must confess I never took to her writing. It was her breasts that attracted me.

We shared a bottle of wine under the stars in a meadow near the Lez. Yes, we giggled at that -- I don't believe I knew the name of the river until we were flying into the airport at Montpellier. Melanie pointed out the window as she pinched me on the shoulder. "Want to see the Lez?" That was her way -- as intelligent as she was, she had an impish sense of humor when the mood struck her.

[Anonymous No.2150892]

>>2150889

But things were never the same after that night. We drove to Toulouse in a rented Peugeot and stayed at a hostel; Melanie left early in the morning and Roger and I spent the day suntanning at Villeneuve. She didn't return until late in the evening, and something about her had changed. She was more distant, more intense. Some of that childish humor had gone. But no less sexual. She wore me out that night -- and the next night, and the next. Roger, too. He had been the dominant one in our little troika. No longer.

He took it harder than I did. He wanted a token of affection, some sign that the old Melanie we knew was still there. He didn't get it. By the end of the trip he and Melanie were having screaming matches -- no, that's not quite right; only Roger screamed. Melanie was calm and aloof. Like a statue. She and I spent one last night together after Roger left. It was wonderful, but somehow I knew I wouldn't see her again. The next morning I found a note on my pillow, gold ink on green paper. She thanked me for the times we had spent together and said she wouldn't be returning to Oxford in the fall -- she had something more important that she needed to do.

When Roger and I saw each other on campus we would exchanged pleasantries, but nothing more. I don't keep in touch with him, but I'm glad to hear he's doing well. He was just made chair of his department, and I hear he'll be in the running for the Fields Medal next year. After him I dated a few different men, came close to marrying one, and finally met my husband at the faculty Christmas party -- he's a professor in the Chemical Engineering department. A sweet man, and a hard worker.

But I haven't been with a woman since Melanie. Oh, I've thought about it, and I'm sure I could pick one up if I wanted to -- every girl on campus goes through a Sapphic phase nowadays, after all. But after Melanie, what would be the point? No one could compare to her. And her breasts.

[Anonymous No.2151117]

http://www.slcpl.lib.ut.us/events/view/737/

The "real" Melanie will be speaking in Utah this weekend. I wonder what she would say if she ever read this thread.

[Anonymous No.2151120]

>>2151117
Get lost, Melanie.

[Anonymous No.2151348]

fucking /lit/ is the best.

[Anonymous No.2151913]

>>2151117
Is anyone here from Utah? He should go and report back what the reading is like.

[Anonymous No.2152037]

>>2151117


Here? In Utah? Well, ain't that somethin'.

Suppose I could make the trip up to Salt Lake to see her, but I reckon I'd best keep the "real" Melanie in my memories. Only met her once, mind. On an October night some years back. The sun had set, but I had some brush to clear out in the back forty, and when I saw her campfire in the distance I was hoppin' mad. It only takes one wrong spark to set off a brushfire. And I don't take kindly to strangers on my property. Too much bad blood between me and the Federals, and the so-called Mormons in the county sheriff's office ain't no better. If their grandpappies could see 'em now -- shacking up with just one woman like a goddam Baptist! I don't like them and they don't like me, and that's the way it's gonna be until they get their heads straight about how a man oughta live.

So I hie on over to where I see the fire, and sure enough there's not just one campfire but a whole circle of them -- and she has a bucket of black paint making some sort of design on the ground. Naked as a jaybird, and wearing a mask that damn near scared the bejesus out of me. So I don't see her face, but lord, I don't need to see a face when there's a rump like that swaying back in forth in front of me. And when she starts calling me into the circle, well, what else could a red-blooded man do?

I thought about asking her to stay and be my wife -- but I've already got three, and truth be told that's about all I'm man enough to handle. It's more work than you'd think, and I ain't no Brigham Young, god bless his soul, just a simple believer trying to live the old ways like my daddy did. Now get the hell off my land before I fill your backside up with buckshot!

[Storm Petrel !HQmqe0QeaQ No.2152047]

I live in Utah. May just head downtown for this reading. Thanks, /lit/.

[Anonymous No.2152061]

Hey, what happened to the second half of >>2146061?

[Anonymous No.2152097]

Melanie? Ugh! She was such a snobby witch when I had the displeasure of meeting her. I mean, I try to grant people their bad days and moods, but come on! I was just trying to get some Starbucks coffee and she totally cut in front of me. I almost hauled off and smacked her when I thought to myself, "This bitch ain't worth my writing hand." Then I got my coffee and it sucked.

[Anonymous No.2152099]

>>2152097

Unforgivable.

[Anonymous No.2153006]

>>2152061
Does anyone have the second part of the story? I don't think it was deleted because of its content. 4chan has been dropping posts at random.

[Anonymous No.2153013]

>>2153006
didn't notice this had been dropped until you pointed it out. here's the copypasta. originally posted with the "Me Gusta" image, last sentence spoiler-tagged.
>>2146061

Melanie's poetry -- so strange! I suppose she picked her "avant-garde" sensibility up in Paris, but to tell the truth, I can't imagine that girl needing to be taught anything. I imagine her just coming out of the hospital, a little baby, and she's already got that long blonde hair and those piercing eyes. Some women will always look nineteen, you know, no matter how old they get.

Oh, there's no need to butter me up, dear. I kept myself in good shape in my day, enough to keep Charles on a short leash -- but I'm an old woman now, and I'm entitled to a second slice of cake once in a while.

Yes, it's a shame about the divorce. But you know, Lester got custody of the children, and I'm told that doesn't happen often. He's absolutely devoted to Jared -- we all are. Just made junior varsity running back, did you know that? To tell you the truth -- and please don't spread this around -- we're hoping he'll take over the business when Lester ages. Yes, dear, I *am* talking about my will.

Oh, I'll leave a little something to Junior. What was it Melanie's divorce lawyer used to tell us -- "the style to which she is accustomed"? But Junior needs to learn to stand on his own feet one of these days. No, I'm donating to the University. It never hurts, you know. Jared's a bright boy, but he doesn't apply himself, and it's good to have a favor you can call in when the time comes. They're going to renovate the mathematics building and name it after Charles.

What about Claudia? Oh, dearie, we don't talk about Claudia. So beautiful -- she took after her mother, the poor girl -- but so... strange.

Pic related, it's mfw this thread has stimulated my imagination more than the novel I've been trying all year to write

[Anonymous No.2153348]

>>2153006

Mods, are you trollin us? There was a repost here just an hour ago.

[Anonymous No.2153950]

>>2153348
Mods?!
Y U No Appreciate well-crafted character expostulation?

[Anonymous No.2154376]

>>2153006
>>2153348
>>2153950

THE MAN CAN'T KEEP THIS STORY DOWN!

Second half of >>2146061 is:

Melanie's poetry -- so strange! I suppose she picked her "avant-garde" sensibility up in Paris, but to tell the truth, I can't imagine that girl needing to be taught anything. I imagine her just coming out of the hospital, a little baby, and she's already got that long blonde hair and those piercing eyes. Some women will always look nineteen, you know, no matter how old they get.

Oh, there's no need to butter me up, dear. I kept myself in good shape in my day, enough to keep Charles on a short leash -- but I'm an old woman now, and I'm entitled to a second slice of cake once in a while.

Yes, it's a shame about the divorce. But you know, Lester got custody of the children, and I'm told that doesn't happen often. He's absolutely devoted to Jared -- we all are. Just made junior varsity running back, did you know that? To tell you the truth -- and please don't spread this around -- we're hoping he'll take over the business when Lester ages. Yes, dear, I *am* talking about my will.

Oh, I'll leave a little something to Junior. What was it Melanie's divorce lawyer used to tell us -- "the style to which she is accustomed"? But Junior needs to learn to stand on his own feet one of these days. No, I'm donating to the University. It never hurts, you know. Jared's a bright boy, but he doesn't apply himself, and it's good to have a favor you can call in when the time comes. They're going to renovate the mathematics building and name it after Charles.

What about Claudia? Oh, dearie, we don't talk about Claudia. So beautiful -- she took after her mother, the poor girl -- but so... strange.

[Anonymous No.2155462]

One last bump for mah girl Melanie

[Anonymous No.2156544]

>>2152047
anyone go to the reading?

[Anonymous No.2156833]

bumpies

[Anonymous No.2157145]

Samefag here, post ideas/suggestions/requests and I'll write more OC

[Anonymous No.2158227]

bump

[Anonymous No.2159832]

Don't you 404 on me!

[Anonymous No.2161198]

bump

[Anonymous No.2162650]

back with a vengeance from page 15

[Anonymous No.2163888]

bump bump bump! We need to know more about Melanie!

[Anonymous No.2163895]

sotp bumping this stupid shit

[Anonymous No.2165613]

bump

[Anonymous No.2165615]

God I am sick of looking at this skinny ugly cunt bitch who looks like a fucking lifetime watching tranny. Who the fuck would read shit written by this old hag? She's a fucking skeletor limp dick whore. Fuck bag. Dyke.

[Anonymous No.2165632]

Has this been archived?&#

[Anonymous No.2165637]

>>2165632
Yeah, 12 days ago.

[Anonymous No.2165660]

the pokemon thread is still thef unniest

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ No.2167312]

>>2165637
Where?
http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/archive.php5?board=LIT

[Anonymous No.2167322]

>>2167312
It's archived here:
chanarchive.org/4chan/lit

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ No.2167327]

>>2167322
Okay.jpg