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/lit/ - Literature

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16195731 No.16195731 [Reply] [Original]

>>/lit/thread/S15941804

a month ago i fielded ideas for a shonen manga for a contest and you guys helped me out a lot so I'm asking for one last favor:

I have two characters now, an engineer rabbit and the protagonist.

they fix the protags ship together but now i need a motive/story that makes sense as to why the rabbit is now evil and wants to fight and kill the protagonist.

can someone give me a good reason as to why the (now transformed and evil) rabbit would want to kill the protagonist and prevent her from leaving the planet on the ship they both just fixed?

all i know is the bunny is going to turn ripped
all of which is happening during the black hole approaching and tearing the landscape up (they have like 10 minutes)

all i have is that the rabbit knows the protags name without her telling him which freaks her out and also that she's actually a ????

>a fugitive? a former mob member ?? idk!!!

Does he want to eat her? does he want revenge? is there not enough fuel to get both of them off the planet in time?

i just want him to explain his motive and then fight her, beat her up, and then die because she secretly turns on the cannons on the now fixed ship in time.

she blasts off barely and yadda yadda END CHAPTER 1

I will post the pages i have done so you guys can see what I've done doing since last month.

I also don't mind if you critique what I have, just bear in mind this all for a contest due on september 1st so I'm just trying to finish these last couple pages of fight scenes over the course of the next seven days.

(cover/15 pages)

>> No.16195733
File: 1.38 MB, 2177x3102, 1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195733

(1/15)

>> No.16195736
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16195736

(2/15)

>> No.16195739
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16195739

(3/15)

>> No.16195745
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16195745

4/15

>> No.16195747
File: 2.24 MB, 2140x3102, 5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195747

5/15

>> No.16195748

The ship can only carry one person.

>> No.16195759
File: 1.84 MB, 2140x3102, 6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195759

6/15

>> No.16195762
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16195762

>>16195748

I already showed it carrying two though in the beginning...

>> No.16195765
File: 1.38 MB, 3672x3024, 1595550086749.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195765

>>16195731
Diid you start with the greeks like I told you?

>> No.16195767
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16195767

8/15

>> No.16195771

>>16195762
yeah i typed the post before seeing that. It would also set the protagonists up as a bit of a dick. I'll give it a bit more thought.

>> No.16195774
File: 1.30 MB, 2140x3102, 9.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195774

>>16195765

I've read the odyssey and loved it and am familiar with platos and socrates dialogues

maybe ill listen to ya this time lol

9/15

>> No.16195778
File: 1.31 MB, 2140x3102, 10.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195778

10/15

>> No.16195782
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16195782

11/15

>> No.16195785
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16195785

12/15

if you can't tell by now i really didnt have a story besides the interstellar thing going on and just kinda aimlessly drew

>> No.16195790

the rabbit does it because it's in its inherent, animalistic rabbit nature to do it
I think it would be a good idea, and would lead you to exploring interesting themes like genetic determinism
which is especially timely today with the black people rioting in us of a

>> No.16195798
File: 529 KB, 543x768, Screen Shot 2020-08-23 at 6.42.03 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195798

13/15

least the art came out kinda purty tho

>> No.16195799

>>16195778
may want to do something about the anatomy of the hand in this one.
>>16195790
shut the fuck up /pol/

>> No.16195800

>>16195731
I think in order for the twist to not feel forced, his betrayal should be connected for the real motive the rabbit had for helping her fix the ship. Why did the rabbit offered his help in the first place?
Cool art by the way, this looks legit

>> No.16195805

>>16195778
Why does she have six fingers

>> No.16195812

>>16195731
Who's the girl? is she an explorer, soldier, or? More info about the protagonist would lead to motivation for the rabbit to betray her. Maybe the rabbit sees a trinket that alerts him to who she is and give him motivation. Example, if she's an explorer that discovered his home planet, leading to a disturbance in their peaceful existence and war or genocide or mass enslavement.

>> No.16195821

>>16195805
Obviously she's experiencing mutations caused by the planet

>> No.16195827
File: 400 KB, 541x768, Screen Shot 2020-08-23 at 6.50.06 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195827

good stuff so far guys

14/15

>> No.16195831
File: 589 KB, 546x765, Screen Shot 2020-08-23 at 6.48.45 AM.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195831

>>16195805

It's two hands one is behind the other

15/15

>> No.16195833
File: 616 KB, 3927x1782, kjkj.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195833

and now what i have left is the bunny getting roided

>>16195812

i kinda delved into the fugitive bit for a sec, but im still deciding i suppose

>> No.16195838
File: 74 KB, 424x340, Screen Shot 2020-08-23 at 8.52.01 pm.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16195838

>>16195831
I noticed it too

>> No.16195843

>>16195838

OH thanks guys lol

>> No.16195845

>>16195833
There better be atleast one rap scene.

>> No.16195849

>>16195833
why would he help her rebuild her ship if he knew she was a fugitive? Something inside the ship to give it away?

>> No.16195854

>>16195833
weirdest nesquik commercial

>> No.16195859

>>16195827
Considering the rabbit is stranded, maybe he caused the probe to crash land so he could hijack it to get off the planet before the black hole destroys it? they were going to escape together but she finds out and he has to try and kill her?

>> No.16195961

>>16195731
The rabbit is an extraterrestial parasitic lifeform that can only reproduce by using females of other species as a host. It was safely contained in the ship but it escaped with the crash. This is not its real form and it has an extremely acute auditory sense. It offers to help because it planned to ambush her when they are alone in the ship but it fucks up by mentioning her name.

>> No.16196009

>>16195961

jeepers alright thats not half bad lol

>>16195849

could do that. maybe insert a scene about him rummaging through her stuff. good food for thought thanks!

>> No.16196378

>>16195843
I'm telling you man, the girl needs to start mutating.

>> No.16196551

>>16195731
I'm really into the classic manga look of this OC.

>> No.16196741

>>16195774
b'merica buns on bunkin'

>> No.16196764

why do drawn hands with 5 fingers always look so weird?

>> No.16196913

>>16196764
Cartoony anatomy combined with realism. Uncanny valley shieeeet

>> No.16197549

>>16195731
>>>/a/

>> No.16197592

>>16195745
>retun

>> No.16197617
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16197617

>>16195833
You know what needs to happen.

>> No.16197632

Two words for you OP: addictive carrots

>> No.16197689 [SPOILER] 
File: 334 KB, 739x603, 1598202887466.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16197689

The rabbit is actually an alien species that reproduces by inseminating females of other species.

The first chapter is just a prequel that will set up the rabbit race as the antagonists of the series. The rape scene will serve to incite hatred in the reader. In chapter two you can introduce our main protagonist going by the name "Rabbit Slayer".

>> No.16199055
File: 130 KB, 632x678, MetatronInIslamicArts.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16199055

>>16195731
The rabbit is an evil jinn and the protagonist is in some kind of space journey to transforms into an angel, but she doesn't know it. And it's all like an imprecise metaphorical dream sequence or something.

>> No.16200325

>>16197689
where have i heard this before...