Write what's on your mind

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Write what's on your mind Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:40:04 2020 No.14616969 [Reply] [Original]

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:41:04 2020 No.14616975 File: 30 KB, 1247x192, 1578351126707.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:42:33 2020 No.14616985 It’s too warm today. The sun is still low but all the snow melted yesterday. I was beginning to enjoy it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:43:35 2020 No.14616990 >>14616969 I don't know what to do.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:47:46 2020 No.14617001 >>14616969 I know what to do, but I can’t will myself to do it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:48:57 2020 No.14617005 Freedom (in the most extreme sense of the word) itself doesn't exist in humans. The concept of freedom can only be grasped through experience and the human experience inevitably chains us

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:50:08 2020 No.14617012 >>14617005 define "freedom"

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 14:51:53 2020 No.14617020

Considering hopping on steroids and living the good life. The closer we are to our primal state, the happier we tend to be. Meaning in life comes from doing things that feel meaningful, and our biochemistry is so strong that it can easily make us feel that meaning over trivial things like sex and being muscular. Being rational feels like a massive cope at this point; true enlightenment is doing whatever I feel like. FEEL being the keyword. An animal following his instinct, that's the way to live I believe. That's what yields both the greatest short term and long term satisfaction

Deluding myself I'm somehow above normies is foolish. I still need social interaction, my social media of choice just happens to be 4chan instead of facebook. I crave validation and acceptance, otherwise I wouldn't be here. If I were the last man on earth, I'd abstain from killing myself only for as long as there was any hope I wasn't alone. So what is there to live for other than the social game?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 15:16:28 2020 No.14617136 >>14616969 It didn't happen but definitely should have.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:22:54 2020 No.14617439 >>14616969 i hate myself and i'm trying to get better but it's not working

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:24:23 2020 No.14617445 Pushing everyone away is going swimmingly. It'll all be over soon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:24:38 2020 No.14617449 >>14617020 Getting on synthetic hormones is possibly one of the most modern things you could do

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:27:13 2020 No.14617457

i find my law degree so easy and mind numbing that it's making me depressed. i also have a job lined up at a top firm in my country. i am literally sleep walking into wild success and the ease in which i am doing so makes me disgusted and reinforces my conviction that life is meaningless, when the pursuit of material 'success' has been so easy

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:27:54 2020 No.14617463

so the othhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhher dayyyyyyyyyyyyy i awawawawawawawawawawawasasss ai wass iaaw ssasai was ..... do you know what i was doing the other day? wel. i was. i wasssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. i was........................ hhhhhhhhgjjjjjjgkjeeeegegeghheheheeeo oooohghoooohojooohoohoo do YOU KNOW WHAT! i was doing! the other day. that other day. the other one. the onlyt other one i could possible be referring to. THAT day. oh yes yes yessss yesyesyesyeysyesyesyeysyseyseysyeysyesye YESS SSSSJ YYyeysyyseysyeseEEEEE YEEEEEEEEE YEEE EEy yyyyEEEE yE yYYee YeeYYYYeeeEESsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.......................ssssssseeeeeeeee...eeeeeehhheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooOOOOOOOGHGGGGGGGJLKjhlbbvk THAT ONE!. you know the day. he knows the day . we all KNOW. THE DAY. of what that thing was that hpanned, where it happened, what happened. it was so infamous i dont even need to bring it up again . but i WWWWWWWWWWIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL just sot that its memroye stays. around....... stays around so that nobody ever does it agian. a reference for the futyter.

i'll tell you what it is laterererererer heeeeehehehe EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE god its horrible

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:28:22 2020 No.14617465 Can’t help but feel like I may have settled for less

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:30:42 2020 No.14617483
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Forget Sicario and Blade Runner 2049, THIS is Villeneuve's best movie. Truly haunting and one of the few films from the 2010s that left me thinking about it days after I watched it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:31:55 2020 No.14617487 >>14617457 Everyone here hates you, just saying, I hope this drives you to suicide

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:32:01 2020 No.14617489 >>14617483 watch a movie by kurosawa or tarkovsky, they are superior.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:34:57 2020 No.14617506

I feel like the years I've spent studying philosophy has been a massive cope. I frequently use drugs (lsd, shrooms, ketamine, nitrous, alcohol, weed, nicotine), and find that most of the time I spend is used upon escapist endeavors. I don't know what it means to live without putting your mind into things that distract you. I resent my individuality and my self-awareness. On some level I hold the paradoxical belief that I am somehow better than most people by virtue of intelligence, yet I'm filled with self-loathing over the fact that most of my potential is wasted in stasis, or thinking and doing nothing. In understanding the habits I have developed now, I can foresee my future. I'm constantly draining my energy into improving my wealth of knowledge about the things that interest me, but is this really the life meant for the human being? Is the new wave of humanity destined to be enslaved to the computer desk?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:37:56 2020 No.14617520 >>14617457 Exploit it for capital then pursue success not defined by materialism with the freedom you've earned.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:40:14 2020 No.14617530 >>14617520 yeah that is my plan. i feel like zuckerbergs character in the social network in my classes. everyone is pretty stupid

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:43:40 2020 No.14617561

>>14617506
>belief that I am somehow better than most people
could have been the case but since you take drugs frequently and probably even indulge in the worship of your consciousness as most lsd, shroom, dma etc users do its not the case. whenever you take that garbage you are literally (not figuratively) letting a demon invade your head. you probably wont listen to a post on 4chan but nonetheless i will tell you: stop taking drugs. drugs are completely worthless.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:46:39 2020 No.14617581 Right, guys So if something exists it has an opposite that also exists The past and the present obviously exist The opposite of the past would be the future, but what's the opposite of the present?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:47:25 2020 No.14617586 I'm deeply happy, I'm finding answers to questions I've always had, my social life is flourishing, I've never been closer to God and it feels like all my dreams are coming true.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:48:05 2020 No.14617592

>>14617561
I don't worship the entity of being, I think that for humans it is a truly terrible thing. With regards to drug use, I attempt moderation though I don't delude myself as to how it affects me. I will say though that my depression in the past was cured by a single lsd trip. The feelings I expressed in my post, however, are the result of my philosophical investigations (I've recently taken an interest in Nick Land).

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:57:36 2020 No.14617682

I can't help but to think that people in a city nearby where I do comedy sometimes post the most outlandish shit on Facebook to later edit it to make it look like I said that, in an effort to maybe give creedence to an investigation that I can't help but to think might be going on into me for political manipulation purposes. I also can't help but to think that I was elected president of the United States in an unprecedented landslide election victory and that the impostors around the world staged into respective other governments by a superpower contemporary to the country I live in, are undertaking a genocide to remove the legitimacy of my support while covering up the facts of electoral results. It has been made evident to me by former peers whom I no longer speak to that they have been embellishing my rightful resources for quite some time now in the undertaking of this global crime and yet all I think about all day beyond the dread of my own material lacking and thus my crime of negligence, which has been exacerbated by local police force, presumably in tandem with said intuited investigation, is the idealized alternatives of the past, most usually past romances and regrets with no foresightful prospect that would come with the availability of physical wealth at ready disposition. I've had a few opportunities that have been stimied, namely my mother's inheritance was stolen by undercover drug cops and the day before I was going to do my first paid showcase as a comedian my house was chemically attacked through the air vents and I nearly died, and was in no shape to do the show the next day. Beyond that I have difficulty meeting anyone out of a fear of betrayal and those I do get to know seem so suspicious all the time, both of me and to me. I feel a burning urgency to formally assume power but no indicative immediacy that support would be there nor the resources to really do it in a dignified way, and the assumption of formal power remains fractal in it's meaning as it is just that, an assumption. I love you if you love at all, and if I've let you down I can't possibly begin to tell you how sorry I am, for everything.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:58:40 2020 No.14617693 >>14617586 fuck you and your god

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 16:59:45 2020 No.14617706 >>14617581 The imaginary artifice of idealization or absurdity Opposite is where you'll mathematically find the fractal divisibility of all objective quantity is as infinitely diminutive as the sub-particle to physical matter

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 17:04:40 2020 No.14617734

>>14617457
This is interesting. I want to apply to law schools this fall and everyone in the profession who I speak with warns me how stressful, intense, and competitive the environment is. They tell me to make sure I know what I'm getting into. Do you go to a T14 (or top law school in your country) and are you just naturally intelligent to the point where you can coast through while still being near the top of your class? I assume you are given the fact competitive law firms pay heavy attention to class rank.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 17:12:04 2020 No.14617783

>>14617734
i study law in the uk. im at a top 20 uni in country and im in top 5% of my year group, i basically cram for a month before final exams and spend a week on big assignments.

i dont doubt the workplace will be stressful just from the sheer volume of work, but in terms of how intellectually stimulating it is i would say not very at all. i spent 4 hours at an assessment centre at the big law firm to get a job and everyone i was competing against didnt seem particularly sharp. obviously not dumb but yeah, it's really obvious the people who did well in academics from hard work and those who are just naturally good. in that interview environment where there is no preparation.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 17:25:11 2020 No.14617872

>>14616969
I hate parties. I've been invited to many parties and have attended some of those, but I never enjoyed them as much as the other attendees seemed to. The others smile, laugh, tell each other stories about their personal life, and they always seem so excited to talk about this extremely boring shit. The jokes are not always funny (not everyone can be a fucking comedian) and I have to talk to a bunch of other people I don't know. I only go to parties because a few people I know were going, but next thing you know I'm stuck talking to fucking nobodies because it seems to be some unspoken rule.

I want to ask these people "Come on, do you REALLY want to talk to me or are you just so afraid that I'll think you're unsociable?" Because I think that's why this sort of thing happens. You wouldn't talk to a stranger on the street, but at parties people feel obligated to talk to you and I just don't want to. The last party I went to went just like this, and it really wasn't fun... at all. I left that party early and I haven't been to a party since, despite being invited by a few people.

This aversion to parties has gotten so bad that now I can't even talk to 70% of the girls I meet because they seem to love parties. Why can't they like anything else? Reading? Video games? Sports? Walking in nature? Even just cooking?! I try to get to know some girls a little better, trying to be open-minded to the posibility that they actually have some interesting hobby, but they just like parties. I'm aware that not all of them are like that, but so many are that it's hard to talk to 70% of women (and that's being generous). Am I socially retarded? Do I have to pretend I like them? I don't understand what's so fun about them honestly. No, you're not funny. No, this party is not so fucking fun and entertaining. No, you're not that interesting. No, you're not going to talk to 9 out of 10 of the people you've met here when it's over.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 17:27:10 2020 No.14617886 Want to write stories. Don't have any talent for it. So instead getting married and having kids. There are too many good writers in the world I feel.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:14:52 2020 No.14618131

>>14617872
you are supposed to take a woman as your wife for life and put her on the right path so to speak. be a little bit somewhat of a father or rolemodel. women think differently, not like men (not saying they are less intelligent). its why at a young age boys like building things with lego or fight with figures while girls play with dolls and have them interact with each other you know? the dominant man in the life of a woman has a strong influence on her. this whole party thing shouldnt be a factor, you can pull her away from it so to speak and youre also supposed to as it is only natural. i dont know if it always was like this but nowadays i can clearly see how many women's fathers dont really have a lot of influence on them and havent really brought them up right thats why they fall for hedonism. im unsure why this is the case. marxist propaganda, jews, mkultra whatever. im not sure yet. i dont think it was like this a century ago but i dont know maybe it was.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:23:24 2020 No.14618181

>>14617783
I see, as much as I want to go to a top law school it might not be a bad idea to go to a mid-tier one and make sure I finish at the very top of my class like you.

But yeah I hear anyone who goes into big law ends up becoming alienated with all the mind numbing and seemingly pointless work. Lots of alcoholism and substance abuse in the legal profession. A lot of people get into so much debt over law school they give up pursuing what they're interested in and just choose the most lucrative path. Honestly you're still lucky in the long term, just do what some people call "big law and burn" then find something that's more rewarding. Pretty much what this anon said: >>14617520

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:25:21 2020 No.14618192 >>14617457 i mean youre posting on channel 4 /lit/. you cant be that intelligent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:31:26 2020 No.14618220 Does the suffering lead to something worthwile? I need to get a job but i want and dont want to do it at the same time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:48:13 2020 No.14618291 >>14618220 Depends on your definition of worthwhile. Still, I don't think anything worthwhile can be achieved without suffering. But that doesn't mean that all suffering lead to something worthwhile.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:50:23 2020 No.14618304 >>14618291 I think i get it. Is there a way to separate the beneficial suffering and the one that leads nowhere?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 18:53:14 2020 No.14618319 >>14617586 That’s great anon

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 19:16:22 2020 No.14618447

>>14618304
I don't think there's any way to be certain. In some situations you choose to suffer because you know the end results, but the results might not be what you wished for. While suffering that seem to lead nowhere might sometimes end up with unexpected but favorable outcomes. For me personally, I'm more willing to kill myself than to do a job I don't find interesting for the next 40 years. While both choices lead to suffering, I at least feel that my suffering is more worthwhile because I made the choice. I've found that not making choices only brings you the suffering of both paths. But then again, I'm probably just talking out my ass.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 19:17:58 2020 No.14618460 >>14618447 >not making choices only brings you the suffering of both paths. I agree. Middle path has the most suffering.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 19:41:28 2020 No.14618582 being bored is worse than working (i say this as a guy with a 9-5 job). i use videogames to escape and not think about life. i need to stop playing videogames, sell them and move on, even if it hurts having to deal with life head-on.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 19:49:16 2020 No.14618624

>>14617872
I assume you're talking about college parties. Parties are nothing more than a step in trying to get laid. The organizer is trying to get clout so he can get laid. The people going to the parties are trying to meet someone to get laid. If you're not looking to fuck then don't bother with them.

Most parties tend to suck unless it's a close group of friends and you get fucked up and do crazy shit. The most fun I've had in a "party" was me and two other friends getting cross-faded, breaking a tv, and smoking joints in the bathtub.

Every other party is boring unless you hook-up with someone. Because that's the whole point.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 19:54:26 2020 No.14618661

I finish my meme degree in a few months. I haven't learnt anything in three years, and have no passion for any of the work I have done and probably going to get a measly 2:2 and disappoint my high achieving family. I also have no idea for future plans beyond graduation. Not big problems compared to some others I know. I guess I'm just stressed about what the future may hold for me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 20:05:17 2020 No.14618725 >>14617886 >don't have the talent of for it Take the hobbypill anon and write for relaxation/pleasure. It will do you no end of good for your state of mind.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 20:08:18 2020 No.14618753

About half a year ago I started a new and healthier life. I cut majorly back on sugary and fast foods, as well as stopped smoking (both cigarettes and weed). I also started working out. But now I've realized that smoking and eating sugar were literally the only two things I enjoyed doing in life. I've never had any particular interests, nor any hobbies. Reading is just a way to pass time while pretending to do something productive. My mind and body feel better than they've ever done, but I'm more unhappy than I've ever been. I have no fucking clue what to do.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:24:56 2020 No.14619222

Do you guys ever read erotica and get mindblown by how good the prose it sometimes? Like obviously there are more bad stories than good, but sometimes I whip something out and get so into the writing that I have to stop to wonder if it's Thomas Pynchon using a psuedonym

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:25:39 2020 No.14619226

>>14617872
parties are your chance to make peace with the whores so you can stop bitching about women on 4chan

and have some theories man, I remember I was shy about dancing, then I figured that I can get comfortable with my mechanics and I don't actually need to have my head running 180 km/h, meaning who cares if I have fun in my head, if I can feel the beat a little it's showtime, I'm actually scared of people who need the party to get in a good mood, for me they are the depressed ones,
then I discovered that I'm overselling/overdoing some moves, so I slowed them down, looks smooth as fuck now, I don't even need the alcohol and I'm dead serious about it, I'm not doing it in a "yolo get drunk and do whatever you want" kind of way, it's on the level of "wake up in the morning and remember every single thing"

>>	Cis male Mon Jan 27 21:25:53 2020 No.14619229 >>14616969 Went to 5 guys. Not worth it. I'll go to In n Out next time.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:27:00 2020 No.14619243 >>14619222 I don't read erotica because if I want to fap just writing down the word "ass" gets me going,

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:31:44 2020 No.14619265

>>14616969
I am disillusioned with the decadence of moral relativism in society. I am a Catholic-to-be, and am tired of what to me, seems like a world blinded by sin. drunke ness, disregard for God. ( Atheists need not reply) The obssession with sex( Have not had a real sexual temptation in MONTHS) I am looking at living a life consumed by a love for God and asceticism. I long for a higher ideal. And what higher ideal than ...God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksbrW7bVEg8&list=RD7aeQmSO6FP4&index=3

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:33:19 2020 No.14619274 i plan too much and never "do" because I'm afraid of failing

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:39:10 2020 No.14619302

>>14617872
I agree. As an Aspie, I find parties...painful. but i find social media "influencers" MOST..insufferable. Ever since I have become Catholic, I find the idea of romance...boring. I used to be obsessed with it. NOW, I find it...not to my liking.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:46:25 2020 No.14619354 >>14619226 >parties are your chance to make peace with the whores What does that even mean lmao? That just sounds stupid desu

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 21:47:44 2020 No.14619368 >>14616969 i have a really big cyst. hurts to walk, sit, put pants, shoes, socks on

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:03:34 2020 No.14619439

>>14619354
in the novel Berlin Alexanderplatz, the protagonist is in a relationship with a whore, she'd go make some money and he'd hang around her apartment, if you can't imagine yourself in a relationship with a whore, drop relationships altogether

for example, I don't have a single friend who doesn't drop his gaze to the ground if whores are mentioned while their partner is around, and then they start nervously joking about it, because they don't have a theory about it, they just whored around, without making peace with them,

do you want a relationship with a girl or do you want to find and cling to the one who is not like the rest because she reads and is cultured and is something special or is one in a million who gives you attention or it was so hard to find her or whatever,

like heine said, if the beach was plastered with pearls, no one would give a shit about them, but because they are deep in the ocean, that makes them valuable to the human eye, equally, you make up a story in your head about society and how it's hard to find a decent girl in this day and age and ofc she's going to be something special because you rigged the game from the start

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:04:39 2020 No.14619443

How do people deal with having a job when they know that someone else is making fat bank on their hard work? Working for someone else is just insanity when you really think about it. Unless you actually get paid fairly, which I don't think a single job in the world does.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:06:14 2020 No.14619451 >>14616969 That's far and away the most gangster photo of DFW I've ever seen.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:06:19 2020 No.14619452 thinking about work tomorrow, that it might rain, what I should bring for that, should bring a drink cause I got thirsty as fuck today, trying to get distracted from it so I can pass out

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:07:51 2020 No.14619461 >>14619443 t. future homeless person

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:12:52 2020 No.14619493

Whenever I read war accounts I’m nauseated by the depravity of it all, and how this period of peace in the developed world is a historical aberration. It’s sickening and makes all the political shit people bitch about these days seem positively lighthearted.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:14:44 2020 No.14619508

Okay. A girl unfriended me on Facebook and, to be honest, I deserved it. I probably deserve it for the "to be honest" in the last sentence alone, but let's keep things in the past.

The situation is easily explained. I had such a solid game in real life that writing absolutely anything in her chat (just a simple "hi"), is like storming the front door with a SWAT team.

I assume there is a major fuck up there, because I didn't like any of her posts for a really long time. I liked some in the past, but only those I actually enjoyed. (Yeah, what a shit way to use social media.) So all I know is, in her virtual field of view, I was completely hidden. She didn't see me in real life either. So she had to be mad about something, go to her profile, type my name and fuck me off. But she did not fuck me off completely. I'm not blocked.

I won't lie to you and say that I don't love the girl, but I'm not pathetic about it. I'm the reincarnation of Charles Bukowski, you know, I love the girls and others fuck them.

My situation is that I'm currently on a streak when it comes to solving my problems. I figured out how to order absolutely everything in my life and according to my theories, meaning, the way I want bring myself to behave, writing a damn message now is an obligation. The really fun part is, I know exactly what to write to either succeed or go out in style.

Wish me luck guys. I don't really need it. Thanks for reading my blog.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:16:53 2020 No.14619522 >>14619493 now it can be told and not so wild a dream is a nice tandem to read, ww1 and then ww2, one is the closest a writer came to the trenches and the second is all over the place

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:20:57 2020 No.14619544

>>14619461
I never said anything about not working. I was talking about working for other people. The fact that if someone is unwilling to work for scraps, it is assumed they'll become homeless, says a lot about our society. I'm just surprised by the amount of people who are willingly being fucked over, day after day after day.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:23:14 2020 No.14619561 >>14619544 you need to do a lot more thinking about civilization, society, life and start being honest with yourself get a job, jr

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:27:45 2020 No.14619596 >>14619561 If I didn't make enough money to get by I would already be homeless. So telling me to get a job is pretty silly.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:34:53 2020 No.14619648

>>14619544
You have to put things in perspective. If everyone was paid the equivalent of the value they were produced, a business would not be able to operate. Furthermore, the value that a person produces can be uncertain. The employer and the employee enter into a contract to pay the worker a given wage whether or not the work the employee produces yields profit.

Take Facebook's news feed. This unassuming piece of software is actually an extremely sophisticated technology. The guy who made was paid $30 million dollars. The software has gone on to garner Facebook hundreds of millions of not billions in revenue. Should the guy who made it have been paid billions? If it were not for his employer who would have made nothing, and the new feed could have easily been a flop and a huge waste of resources. While it's tempting to view corporations as greedy, surplus value snatching infernal machines, there are also practical calculations that go into these determinations, and supporting an entire workforce and balancing the books is not a simple task.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:35:58 2020 No.14619653 >>14619648 Hmm don't know why my post had so many stroked up typos but my meaning is inferrable.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:43:39 2020 No.14619697 >>14616969 I wanna smoke weed and throw my phone into a lake, there’s no point in trying to live anymore

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 22:46:46 2020 No.14619715 >>14619697 Neither will solve whatever perceived problems you have. Death is the only escape from this hell.

Anonymous Mon Jan 27 23:06:50 2020 No.14619843
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Is it true that Augustine writes about being 'in love with love' in Confessions? I've been meaning to read it for a while now, and that's a problem I think I have myself. I personally have a lot of trauma, which is a strong word but it's like a deep emotional affliction which is hard to describe, about love, specifically one love which I have a near religious devotion to. I've described myself as someone who would cut off my arms and legs for love. I go through phases of thinking she is my soulmate, someone I am meant to be be with, cosmically bound to, etc. and thinking I'm another poor fuck sucked into her manipulative mind game, yada yada yada. I think at the end of the day I have a sort of bottomless faith in love that is probably making me miserable. I'm not really a believer in astrology but I once read my sign described as 'an emotional sponge' and that I always thought that was pretty apt. I know I'm rambling now, I think I'll pick up Confessions as soon as I can.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 23:19:58 2020 No.14619916 Concerned, but powerless.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 27 23:27:41 2020 No.14619954 >>14617012 nothing

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 00:26:07 2020 No.14620264
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>>14616969
im starting to think the real key of a happyness in a married life is with a succesfull girl with goals and lots of money that wants to save a pathetic loser from his deep state of sadness and mediocrity.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 00:26:15 2020 No.14620265 File: 96 KB, 1006x734, 1547094204868.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Matched with a thick ass girl on tinder, she never responded to my message.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 00:38:17 2020 No.14620319 I disagree with Hume. We can know that which we cannot sense.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 01:04:57 2020 No.14620444
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i will drop acid at fren's birthday in two days, and i'll try to reach the stables next morning. second best thing after tripping with horses is afterglow in countryside(with horses)

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 01:07:33 2020 No.14620452 >>14619916 eating you from within, huh? i'm a schizo with complete lack of empathy yet an awfully inflammated sense of justice. i don't pity the victims, but i despise the wrongdoers, and my only desire is revenge for the innocent.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 01:08:08 2020 No.14620455

>>14616969
Thinking about writing a secondary world with its own complex mythology (similar to Tolkien), but something I want to add that’s my own idea is that the characters in this world can realize that they aren’t real and live in a fictitious reality, and the people that learn this eldritch truth can no longer see the physical world, but only the words of the book they exist in. Is this a good idea, guys?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:01:36 2020 No.14621092 I dont feel anything towards my mother

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:13:03 2020 No.14621106 >>14621092 I want to fuck mine. We should split the difference.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:14:25 2020 No.14621113 rapey diapey

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:40:51 2020 No.14621178 I went out for a nice walk today, and fed some ducks. I kinda feel bad because I know you shouldn't really give ducks bread.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:47:49 2020 No.14621204 Why is tipping a thing? Shouldn't the responsibility of paying a fair wage fall on the employer rather than the customers?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 04:54:44 2020 No.14621222 I hate that I'm not good at anything but passing time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 05:49:07 2020 No.14621358 >>14621178 buy grain next time

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 07:45:37 2020 No.14621605

How are things outside my closed room even real? I think "I have been outside this room. I saw the sun above. It is day now. The sun will be there again". To think "The sun will be there again" includes a second thought: "That the sun will be there again" is not merely a thought, an empty image in my head, but a reflection on the real state of the world. I cannot see the sun, but the sun must be there, I think (and believe), and therefore the sun is really there (atleast in the world I just created, which can be different from the real world). The real world is what we see, smell etc and what we feel and think (thinking here means: what we perceive in our mind; thinking in the sentences before meant: what we perceive in our mind, but extract and put into the outside world). The unreal world is the real world overlayed with all the types of thoughts that travel outside of our mind and pretend to be real existing objects. I cannot see the billions upon billions upon stars; though I *know* that these stars exist (I think: I saw stars once; I kind of know what a billion is; I heard from scientists that there are a billion stars; they are trustworthy; therefore there really are a billion stars; this is not just in my head, but really out there, this is how the world is - the irony being that, all the while, we haven't left our mind, and to think that something, which we cannot sense, is real, is an empty extraction, the mental image of a thing combined with the thought of its realness. To think that anything outside my closed room exists is insane, the creation of a fabricated mind world; I might be drifting on a room sized isle through timeless space; only if I open the blinds of my window do I perceive (more or less) what the real world looks like - the material stuff. Everything else, the abstractions, bacteria being real, oxygen being real, the surface of a pearl being rocky (under a microscope) instead of smooth (under my eyes). There is a great break going through the world, when we began to believe in things we could not see; and saw that these believes were working as intended. We live in a world that has seperated itself from what we perceive, as if a person was alive and his own ghost at the same time.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 07:56:02 2020 No.14621646 Is there anything worth living for? Is there anything worth dying for?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 07:58:39 2020 No.14621653 >>14621646 Only you create the meaning

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 08:00:51 2020 No.14621663 >>14621653 But there have been and still are many, many people, smarter than I, that tell me what I should live and die for. How could I possibly refute them?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 08:20:04 2020 No.14621724 Everything is so fucking grey goddamnit can I get some clarity, structure, and control in my life fuck i want to succeed to you know what patience and perseverance yeah it's killing me dreams hopes future fucking hell!!!!!!!!!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 08:21:20 2020 No.14621726 >>14621663 They are not you. Also work on your identity.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 08:22:35 2020 No.14621733

>>14621663
By realizing the fact that you were literally born to live YOUR life. You are the expert here, and no matter how intelligent someone else seem to be, they are unqualified to live your life. There are no right or wrong ways to live or die, only ways you deem right or wrong for you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 08:31:31 2020 No.14621758 >>14621724 I'm going to read a book

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 09:32:21 2020 No.14621975
File: 11 KB, 300x168, gutter oil.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I normally don't have anything against the Chinese but now all I can picture is a bunch of dirty Chinese yokels rooting with bare hands in tubs of fly-strewn entrails in some filthy backwater open-air market, gnawing on random offal, engaging in the most unsanitary of butcheries and food preparations, stewing random animal bits in heinous street oil in big public vats, and thus, in their complete and utter wretchedness contracting and breeding a superbug that is spreading around the world as they cancerously fly everywhere and damn the entire world bearing their dire viral payload borne of grime and atrocious hygiene.
(Save for the upper class of course.)

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 09:35:49 2020 No.14621984

>>14617457
think about your inevitable death daily and rip your shirt off at work while you catcall ladies from across the room. The right way is the LIGHT way brother! all it takes is someone to take the first step and finally we can all walk into glory together.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 09:37:00 2020 No.14621991 >>14621975 We really need to start coronapunk, burgerpunk's retarded chinese cousin

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 11:03:22 2020 No.14622316

>>14617020
I don't see how taking steroids is gonna make you feel more in touch with your primal side. You're gonna get heart problems if you don't properly cycle on and off and you'll probably develop a dependency and have to go on TRT for the rest of your life.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 11:44:42 2020 No.14622485

I'm so close to finishing it. Every time I get stuck I end up writing some random bullshit after a while and then it just goes. I don't know if it's any good, but I know no one else could have written it but me. Actually fuck that, it's brilliant, I just don't know if anyone else will like it. I just need to finish it and then publish it so at least some random wanderer in the post-apocalypse can come across it while looking for canned beans and be like, "Heh, yeah. I get it."

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 11:47:32 2020 No.14622492 >>14617020 >Deluding myself I'm somehow above normies is foolish. Imagine thinking you’re better than anyone else because you can rattle off some book titles and obscure names.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 13:12:25 2020 No.14622838

>>14616969
I want to find a way to fill or remove the lack of parental love so I don't have to rely on others and learn to be myself for myself. Nietzsche was a symptom of the same principle in a less documented era.
Evil, Good, angels and demons. It's always the same story, and I wish I knew if it was different before.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 14:27:30 2020 No.14623136 >>14616969 Married men, how did you know you found your wife? I have this very strong sense of inevitability, in the positive sense, with a girl I'm with now. I will live a better life with her.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 14:59:25 2020 No.14623303 >>14623136 >2020 >getting married L O L

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 15:06:10 2020 No.14623345
File: 288 KB, 1080x1080, c8a8c3e56be988d1278d7ebf54cee973.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm really thinking about spending a good chunk of my time in the library and researching what career paths will help me get my foot in the door to creative story telling. I still want to write my own stories, but ultimately anything involving creative story telling, especially with a team of other people, would be awesome.

I know it won't be easy and I'll have to hold down a regular job while doing it, but I need to start now if I'm ever going to have a chance at it. I'm just not sure where to start.

Pic not related, they're just cool as fuck.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 15:07:54 2020 No.14623358 >>14623136 My husband says that women will [not literally, obviously] kick you in the balls, so you have to find the one it's worth being kicked in the balls for.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 15:19:13 2020 No.14623406
File: 56 KB, 390x400, R-422921-1352848584-4544.jpeg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

should i do everything possible to be good, equating good with helping those that are less fortunate or suffering? is this idea that what is good related to altruism and what is bad is related selfishness intrinsic? should it be accepted? why is it so? why should i adhere to it, or not? i feel like human nature is selfish and i am selfish and care little about others, i want to be good but i feel like that's just a desire to soothe my conscience or look good to others and thus a fundamentally selfish desire. so i want to be good but i don't want to be a hypocrite and idk if it's possible to become good. can anybody give me their thoughts on this, it would sincerely help me, i've been thinking about this a lot since quite a bit? it's probably rly stupid sorry guys
(pic not related)

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 15:22:34 2020 No.14623421 >>14623406 i'm probably asking this cause i don't seem to have a lot of empathy and idk if it's smth i should work on or if it's human nature.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 16:00:25 2020 No.14623609 >>14623421 Just try to take out more suffering than you put into this world.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 16:36:50 2020 No.14623798 >>14623358 What qualities in you did he find worthy enough to be kicked in the balls? What qualities, from earlier experiences, did he not find worthy?

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 16:40:44 2020 No.14623827

>>14616969
i feel like /lit/ has become about subduing and showing off rather than generating actually good content.
>"I don't read so i'm gonna talk shit"
>"I'm sad so i'm gonna talk shit"
>someone is a woman hater/lover, i'm gonna troll them

Produce interesting content or shut up, guys. Be clever but not self important. Be good but not nice.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 17:06:15 2020 No.14623953

>>14617445
I did the same, deleted all my social medias.
Catching up sometimes is good but everyone is forgotten in this fast world.
It seems like a well, and the light keeps getting dimmer and further away.
Having sex as a virgin would be a great validation for my low self-esteem, it sounds stupid as hell but I want to be validated by a woman. Sex has turned like this huge wall for me and In my brain I am all mentalcel.
Am I shallow to think going to an escort in germany would get rid of this burden of mine?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 17:29:12 2020 No.14624045 What if it was “No Longer Coomin’” and it was about a masturbation addict coping with impotence?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 17:37:01 2020 No.14624083 >>14623827 Ye it's crazy how even in fucking anonymous boards, people spew bs about themselves. Talk about the topic at hand, ever board starts with I this, I that nowdays. We don't want to read your fucking blog

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 18:16:06 2020 No.14624237

>>14623953
you could just put yourself out there for love. a woman's rejection doesn't really hurt when it's just you and her. trial and error broski

>>14624083
i'm guilty of it too. i just try to remember not to take the bait. and that the community is what you make it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 18:19:53 2020 No.14624256 >In a thread with the subject 'Write what's on your mind' >Surprised by people writing what's on their mind Retard.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 18:46:08 2020 No.14624348 Why am i suffering? Is it Gods plan all along?

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 19:20:56 2020 No.14624496

Wondering what went wrong with me where, unlike my peers, I was unable to excitedly go off to college, make new friends, new connections, and start “a new chapter in life”, instead getting hung up over my high school relationships for years after the fact. Maybe it’s because I only started to come out of my shell when I was seventeen and so missed out on a lot. Or maybe it’s because my loneliness during the first weeks of uni made me isolate myself further and lean back on the “good memories” of the past. Anyway, I think it really has fucked me up. I’m an adult now but my social skills are that of an awkward teen.

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 20:00:01 2020 No.14624701
File: 11 KB, 1152x648, blackbird.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>14616969

It's not that I cannot fly, I just can't do it alone, on my own. They generally don't tell you that, care to mention that it's always advertised "you can do anything".
One day I tried to do anything, more specifically, I tried to do something. It wasn't flying, far from that, It was something simpler. I tried, with my mind, to imagine a world and a universe where things worked differently from ours. Imagine trying to erase math, physics, language, and coming up with different ways of existing. The attempt took me quite a bit of time, not just an hour or two, but a couple of months.
So what happened? Well, I kind of stopped trying one day when I looked trough the window of a plane. In the end it was easier to fly then to come up with a new reality

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 20:04:37 2020 No.14624734 Its pathetkc to know how much man is willing to give up for some vagina

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 20:07:09 2020 No.14624750 laugh along with a man who makes jest of his scars but never believe he is honest

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 20:16:13 2020 No.14624807 FUCK proofs and FUCK Wittgenstein most of all, bane of my existence

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 20:17:30 2020 No.14624816 >>14616969 I feel unwell. It is over a woman, of course. I want to be out of her life. She doesn't make me feel wanted. I guess I will leave.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 21:55:39 2020 No.14625260 How do I stop idealizing and falling in love with whores because of a good taste in literature?

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:21:31 2020 No.14625432

Thinking again about the night years ago my crush on my oneitis was obliterated. We had gone to see an orchestra concert with some of her friends and not five fucking minutes in one of them brings up my oneitis’s *boyfriend*. I thought we were pretty close friends, I mean we talked on the phone every night but I guess not because I had no idea. I then had to sit through a two and a half hour performance with her three inches away in the adjacent seat. The only grace was that you couldn’t see me holding back tears in the dark.

Pretty bad night all in all

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:25:11 2020 No.14625461

ive come to know that showing any emotion in public aside from happiness and "chillness" is the only way to pass through life. I used to be a retard who would let ppl know if i was down, now i just kinda stop emoting. I have more friends and opportunities now too, it hurts alot but ill survive, at least i have the stoics embrace

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:31:44 2020 No.14625500

>>14625461
This so much. I used to try to open up to people, ones who would insist that “they’re there for you” only to be met with discomfort and unease. Unless you’re really fucking close to someone they don’t really want to know what you’re feeling.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:33:25 2020 No.14625509 I haven't read in two days because of my new job, I hate the feeling of this. Still studying Latin tho.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:34:47 2020 No.14625519 File: 40 KB, 600x338, chrisbenoit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14617020

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:39:25 2020 No.14625552 >>14619368 that sucks, do you have plans to get it removed?

Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:42:49 2020 No.14625573

>>14621204
I think they kind of harnessed the social stigma to make it seem like you have to tip. I think the waiters and business owners come out ahead due to this, all else equal. However, I do like the direct incentive for someone to do their job well

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:44:39 2020 No.14625584 >>14617020 I'm definitely roiding it up when I'm older. What point is there to life if you're feeble and unmanly?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:46:45 2020 No.14625595 I don't know why I procrastinate so much. Not even adderall helps anymore. I wish I could take more, but if I run out then I'm REALLY fucked. Fuck.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 28 22:48:58 2020 No.14625610 >>14623345 Just start? What barriers to entry could there possibly be? Just write, share it, and talk to others about it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 01:02:00 2020 No.14626377 File: 72 KB, 439x452, 1565319095890.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >tfw you're 2 chapters into the The Transcendental Analytic, the 2nd part of the Transcendental Doctrine of Elements, and Kant says things are about to get difficult.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 01:25:37 2020 No.14626467 >>14625595 you can't medicate the laze and weak will. stop relying on pharma devil and seek improvement

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 01:26:16 2020 No.14626468

I felt good for the first time in a very long time today. I can attribute this feeling of contentment to having taken adderall earlier this week and I think it might’ve have catalyzed a sort rebooting of dopamine, or norepinephrine, or both. I ruined it all when I got home from work and took a nap though. I woke up feeling like shit for no reason. Hormonal imbalances are a bitch.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 01:29:44 2020 No.14626480 >>14624734 I'm a cuntman and I'd give up a whole bagina for a dick

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 03:29:37 2020 No.14626842 >>14626480 Dick is worthless

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 03:39:35 2020 No.14626868 >>14624734 Agreed. Men will compromise their entire being for a crumb of pussy.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 03:41:23 2020 No.14626873 >>14626842 not gonna lie, i'd settle for a Nothing between my legs like some plastic doll. sex is overrated and so are genitals.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 03:50:36 2020 No.14626895

I wish I had eyes that could see you,
Behind the skin shell you're contained.
I wish I had ears that could hear you,
beyond your vibrational waves.
If only we could just speak
In a language all our own.
If only I could know you,
beyond these bodies we call home.
You're my compass, my stars.
Please, don't hide yourself from me.
We were meant to be.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 03:52:30 2020 No.14626899 >>14626895 We were meant to be.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 04:02:59 2020 No.14626919 >>14626895 Red riding hood?

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 04:03:43 2020 No.14626921
File: 1.13 MB, 1600x1066, Athyrium_filix-femina.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't understand the criteria that define the divisions between taxonomic ranks. I'm afraid it's arbitrary. I need someone to either help me see solid logic in taxonomic definition, or recommend me some philosophy on identity and definition, so I can fall into another fucking hole.

In 1990, the taxonomy "domain" was added to the taxonomic ranks , containing within it the classification "kingdom", which had previously been the broadest group. So now contained within domain three groups: archaea, bacteria, and eukarya. The third group is what contains all multi-cellular life on earth: animals, plants, fungi, the three groups which now constitute taxonomic domains.

Previously, the single-cell groups had been domains of their own. And then, for example, what attribute makes a "fern" a division of a class, and not a class of its own?

I guess I do explicitly understand that it's our flawed understanding of evolutionary chronology. The fern is not a class of its own because the class is defined by an earlier ancestor to the fern. And then it is easier to explicitly understand the eukaryote as the evolutionary predecessor to the animal, plant, and fungus, because it is more obviously possible to imagine a eukaryote that is none of these things. Wait, is it? I don't know what such a thing would look like.

The only way to simplify it is to remember that an animal is a eukaryote but a eukaryote is not necessarily an animal. I just don't know how to follow that plain logic answer to anything externally satisfying.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 04:25:01 2020 No.14626991 >>14626919 Relax

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 04:51:39 2020 No.14627071 >>14617483 >blackboard reads "FITCHE" >above thesis bs It's Fichte. What's the name of this spoof?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:01:43 2020 No.14627105 >>14617020 >true enlightenment is doing whatever I feel like. FEEL being the keyword. based and stirnerpilled

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:02:29 2020 No.14627108

>>14616969
I have no will or motivation, not many things in life interest me anymore, and if something is uninteresting to me, I am incapable to commit myself to doing it. makes it quite difficult to find a desirable job. I am interested in art. Painting Writing, Music. but to find success in Art is far easier said than done.
It just seems quite hopeless right now

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:03:12 2020 No.14627113 >>14622492 i KNOW I'm better than people because I can rattle off titles i've actually read

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:25:21 2020 No.14627173 >>14627108 Maybe you're just depressed

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:31:04 2020 No.14627187

>>14616969
Finally told each-other that we love one-another. It's freeing in the most ironic way.
We both probably deserve each-other--
and I am, as of now, more okay with that than I have been about anything in recent memory.
Here's to the next step,
I welcome it, with open arms, and
little-to-no apprehension.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:37:06 2020 No.14627199 What do you think is more important, hard work or natural talent?

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:53:38 2020 No.14627255

>>14627173
I dont think im depressed. at least not in the way you are implying.
I feel very unmotivated yes, but not because of some random spike of depression, but because I cannot do what I wish to do in life. it will always be a mere hobby. nothing I can live off of.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 05:54:12 2020 No.14627258 >>14627199 Nepotism, social skill, and pure circumstance. That's it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 06:42:31 2020 No.14627371 >>14627199 Early childhood experiences

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 06:43:50 2020 No.14627376 >>14627108 Why don't you travel anon? You can't run from your problems forever but travel at least gives you a goal to work towards as well as a sense of accomplishment.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 06:47:24 2020 No.14627384

>>14625461
>>14625500

I regret the years of my life I wasted thinking people genuinely wanted to hear my problems. I cringe now when I think about it. Instead I've taught myself self - reliance, and one day I'll learn how to load and handle a gun to make sure I don't miss when I launch that bullet into my brain.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 06:47:32 2020 No.14627385 >>14627376 Not that anon but that seems like a way to be miserable but in different place

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 07:27:20 2020 No.14627514 >>14620455 Sounds interesting, but only if the characters are interesting too.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 07:35:57 2020 No.14627545 >>14627385 Yeah sure, but at the same time, would you rather be miserable surrounded by your familiar old hole or miserable surrounded by a new and interesting culture

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:38:38 2020 No.14627718 >>14627258 I refuse to belive that people like Kant became who they are due to the fluke. His parents were not really intellectuals or schoolars. He sure was a sociable fellow though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:40:12 2020 No.14627725 Ate breakfast and I'm feeling pretty satisfied. I wish I knew how to fish

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:43:39 2020 No.14627738 >>14627718 Some people born as geniuses, some dont

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:44:59 2020 No.14627740 >>14627738 I do not find this explanation sufficiently satisfactory.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:48:35 2020 No.14627750 >>14627371 Could you elaborate?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:49:46 2020 No.14627754 >>14627750 No

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:50:25 2020 No.14627756 >>14627740 Life doesnt you give any satisfaction.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:50:48 2020 No.14627757 >>14627754 It is a pity.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 08:51:59 2020 No.14627761 >>14627756 Sometimes it does. You overgeneralize.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:07:51 2020 No.14627807 do we all learn defeat from the whores with bad feet beat the meat (beat the meat) treat the feet to the sweet milky seat

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:10:25 2020 No.14627812 >>14627807 What do you mean by milky seat?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:12:36 2020 No.14627819 beat the meat to the feet... learn defeat

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:21:01 2020 No.14627843 >>14627761 When it does?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:24:57 2020 No.14627855 >>14627843 I believe it is quite personal but in order not to make my statement unfounded i will try to give you an example from my life. So for instance I felt immense satisfaction after helping my father get over his alcohol addiction.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:29:40 2020 No.14627867

Hysteria. Mass panic. The affliction of a interconnected (over-connected) world. The way information, peoples, transfer over a vast globalized network, means fear is as rapidly transmissible as an infectious disease. Carried along the trade winds of globalism.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:34:51 2020 No.14627879 Belief in one's own mad vision of oneself is a thunderous force. "All great men are play-actors of their own ideal."

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:36:17 2020 No.14627884 Nietzche was one of the greatest writers of all time. It's strange that he is not recognized as such, known instead for his eccentric and romanticist ideas but not for his thrilling and ceaselessly inventive prose.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:36:19 2020 No.14627885 >>14627879 >Just believe in yourself bro

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:43:05 2020 No.14627895 My pubic hair is getting out of control. I need to take a knife to that shit soon.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:46:15 2020 No.14627902 >>14627895 why not scissors?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:49:17 2020 No.14627912 >>14627855 Why did he drink in the first place?

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:49:45 2020 No.14627915

>>14627867
my thougts exactly. there are classic "trends", but there's also something unique in our infospace: frantic, hysterical waves of interest. there's some happening, next day your entire newsfeed in drenched in that against your will, and it takes far more time for the wave to calm down than for us to lose interest.
and here we are chocking on dead topics no one wants to hear about after a couple of days. people know no limit, especially with memes and jokes.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:51:10 2020 No.14627921 the coronavirus is an obvious attempt of population control

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:52:06 2020 No.14627927 >>14627921 alright Alex Jones, calm down, lad.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:53:09 2020 No.14627929 >>14627895 I use my beard trimmer on mine. Works nicely.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:55:10 2020 No.14627938 >>14627921 executed by God, and I hope wholeheartedly that it succeeds. we need a uiversal wipe to start again.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 09:56:55 2020 No.14627940 File: 26 KB, 517x588, jhun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I've already broken the promise I made to myself to stop buying books this year and read the ones I already own.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:00:11 2020 No.14627951
File: 60 KB, 720x720, deb55f89-f276-4a0a-9e8d-8cb875be472a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

While Faith/Belief will continue to be denied and replaced with lesser/corrupt teachings, no proper alignment will ever be possible again for humankind. Faith is the level 0 of consciousness, the primordial cognitive act upon which all other acts of thought and emotion lie internally. Not discerning between external and internal factors is the hymn of our failures.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:04:05 2020 No.14627961 >>14627938 Fucking idiot

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:13:08 2020 No.14627989 >>14627940 Iktf. What did you bought?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:36:43 2020 No.14628088 I can hardly think. I read without understanding, turn to what's already been written, what's already been said and let those words fill my head.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:39:29 2020 No.14628106 >>14627989 Saw a copy of The Recognitions going super cheap and I couldn't pass it up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:39:48 2020 No.14628109 >>14627961 seethe. so many problems can be solved by reducing population.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 10:41:52 2020 No.14628118 >>14628088 See a doctor? Perhaps you have some kind of undiagnosed depression or perhaps even adhd and you can be prescribed something that'll help.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 11:04:14 2020 No.14628218 >>14616969 life is just waiting to die

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 11:08:51 2020 No.14628245 >>14628218 Can't wait

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 11:19:27 2020 No.14628295
File: 130 KB, 649x968, IMG_20190702_230610.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Academically im now probably the top student in my degree at my (small) university. However many of my classes are taught by absolute brainlet tier profs, one of whom is chinese and barely speaks english. im starting to believe my time could be spend far better learning from the textbooks than attending those classes, but im afraid to break from the habit of attending each class like a good student. Im convinced I could learn faster and better on my own but i dont want my grades to suffer. As a general thing Ive felt for a long time the need to break to some degree with the "academic lifestyle" of studying, socializing, drinking and attending class and begin living a much different life. I feel stunted by academic life but im too afraid to change.

Been reading the gay science and zarathustra a lot and im convinced that this is what i need to do but im afraid. /blog

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 11:49:54 2020 No.14628456 Why is thinking such a fucking chore. Why did humans have to be ones cursed with this disgusting thing. Why were we the ones chosen to suffer like none other. Hell exists, and it is within our mind.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:00:54 2020 No.14628522 >>14628295 What degree? I’m currently in stem so that I can get a good job while reading in my free time to get an actual education.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:27:35 2020 No.14628640

>>14628522
I'm doing the same thing. I'm a CS major and I really do love Comp Sci, but I am equally drawn to phil and literature and even history. I spend all my spare time reading, usually Nietzsche or Chekhov.

The issue I have is a lot of course work/social stuff/club stuff is really just neurotic activity that leads to nothing. I can tell my time is being wasted. I know if I cut the shit out, I will become more as a person but I don't want my grades and social standing (especially among faculty) to falter.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:28:49 2020 No.14628646

Human submission to sexual desire, that primal rush that comes with attraction, bothers me.
I know suppression of desire isn’t the key, but the concept of being at the whims of biology, a mere servant of impulses, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Basically, the idea of wanting to fuck women I don’t know or care about, or even actively dislike, merely because they are attractive bothers me, and my desire for sex on itself seems like a wasteful impulse.
Dunno if this makes any sense, Past few months have been rough and this entire post may just be a long cope about not being good with women, despite dating one at the moment.
Hell, I’m just lost about life in general.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:31:13 2020 No.14628658 I know that im wishing for impossible and denying reality at the same time. It sucks but theres nothing i can do.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:40:34 2020 No.14628693

>>14628640
I have the exact same degree (and attitude towards it) and interests. Course work is important but I don’t understand this social and club stuff. What kind of stuff is it? What clubs are you in? Why does it matter so much to your standing? Why does your standing matter?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:57:15 2020 No.14628763 >>14617020 Based coomer

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:59:35 2020 No.14628772 File: 1.46 MB, 1280x1460, tumblr_phuysjmJbR1xr5bd8o1_1280.png.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14626921

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 12:59:37 2020 No.14628773

>>14628646
I'll give you my feminine perspective on the other side of the coin. I suffer from a heavy, obsessive form of erotomania. I tend to idolize a man I am infatuated with, and romanticize their every word, actions. I see them as sensible, beautiful creatures that travel idly in an eon of placidity which I inhabit. I am a silent watcher, an admirer of a work of art, afraid to clear my throat in an empty museum. How I wish I could embody, invite in the ideas of my wild fantasies, which are too fantastical, abstract and replaceable, where I can whisper in the words, the promises I wish to vow. Sexual desire is for me a lead blanket which submits me into full possession, something which I cannot have with these men. Thus I shall never fantasize of them, even in my wildest daydreams their traits are blurred, their image evanescent. I suffer not only from the fact I am constantly lost in daydream, but also in mute adoration. And I let the world, and these men pass me by, despite knowing I may very well be their Nastenka, where I to come from my drunken stupor. And ironically - or perhaps it is the fact I grew up watching my father writing his poetry at his dimly lit desk, bottle of bordeaux at hand - that is only when they dare pour the liquor into me, and inspire me to fancy a jest. That is when they truly see the blooming imagination I have, and all its subtleties. These men are reasonably, gentlemen which have yet to see the situation to their advantage. I wish I could be more forward, really...

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:09:01 2020 No.14628812
File: 136 KB, 600x900, 2B63CAC5-78BE-4694-9EEB-D451B54D9A08.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>14616969
I used to do cinematography. I got sick and can no longer do 15 hour days on production sites. Have written scripts and treatments in the past, decided to try my hand at writing a novel. Spent six months on the outline. The last three months on the first draft. I’m half way finished and having fun.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:10:40 2020 No.14628819 >>14628773 Thank you for this. I think I finally understand women.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:13:18 2020 No.14628843

>>14628773
cont... this time to write what's been on my mind.

I came back home. And I found familiarity again, in the rusted front yard door, that would not give when I pushed it forth, and the last step of the staircase that gave slightly under my footing. I found the remnants of past quarrels with my mother, the muscle memory of blood pressure raising as her tone did, the infamy of short tempers all around. Why did I come back?
I thought I had to pay some dues, and settle some affairs with my dear motherland. I rightfully did so.
Then there is my private life, a desert of the real. Filled to the brim with imagination. I found comfort in the daydream I sheltered myself in, when no one is looking, and where I may seek the humanity that truly lacked. I can glean it here and there, small talk with a neighbor, a stranger's smile, the niceties and curtsies of our society. The warmth still misses me. I am at a simmer, but at home my blood boils. I had ambitions to visit a few places in the cities, which have become shrines to memories I still cherish, but which to bury, in order to move on.
Past love, or should I say obsession. But my paranoia forces me into solitude. I am deathly afraid to meet the bearer of my woes. A man, which with his eyes, bared my soul naked. What would he see now? With the years, the river of time has coursed and cut the creases in my skin, polished the rough edges of my stone-like face. I am a woman now, no longer the little girl who had lost her tongue. Yet I fear being petrified, again. My body shivers and tenses at the idea of meeting the maker of my heart, the one that fashioned its tastes. I feel deprived of the right to acknowledge these places, to feel the prick of their invisible thorns as I exist through them. What if I was discovered, an intruder in the garden? Will I go? I am keeping myself occupied with the banalities of administrating my affairs, whilst wondering if I'll ever jump the metaphorical fence and run through the fields of my innocence, again, entrapped in the ridges of the riverside, within the city...till then, I'll enjoy the advice of the night, tomorrow's just another day.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:13:43 2020 No.14628846

>>14628693
I'm the VP of the Computer Science club at our school. This takes up a lot of time in terms of meetings and other events. The other social stuff is just friend stuff. My friends are very regular sort of guys. We go out drinking on weekends, play vidya together etc.

I feel this need to maintain a "normal" life. I feel that I have to be someone to other people. To have a role in society, I suppose? Not only this but I want to be the best student I can possibly be. I want to be better than anyone else. I don't exactly know why I want this. I "network", make friends with profs, TA their courses, meet grad students. I get near perfect grades. I make regular friends and we drink and party and go out for dinner and its fun and all but none of them seem to see beyond the end of their noses. The more I read and learn the farther "ahead" I seem to be getting. The people I know learn their stuff simply to do the assignments and write the midterms, and thats fine. But I am absolutely engrossed in it and the only people I can talk to seriously about this kind of stuff are profs and even they are few and far between. I think about comp sci and literature and phil all day. I simply can't get it out of my head and it blows me away that no one I meet is like this.

So thats where I'm stuck. Be a good student and do well in my career or dissapear from the "real" world and go farther and farther into my learning. I don't know where to go. Goethe thus far has been my model, in that he maintained a political life, a social life, a scientific life and a life in the arts. Problem is I sure as hell aren't Goethe. I don't have the energy.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:17:10 2020 No.14628882 >>14628773 >>14628843 Emily Bronte?

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:19:25 2020 No.14628899

>>14628819
The pleasure was mine. It's was highly cathartic to put this current thought of mine into words. I must say your words came to me as an invitation to discourse, on the matter of gender relationships, particularly ones of the sexual kind. I've been giving it some deep thought as of late, as - if you've followed my thread of consciousness further on - I've been tracing back my footsteps, perhaps in quest of actualization, or clues I may have dropped on my way to an older age...And love, has always been the sort of sentiment, for me to invite analytical investigation. Or perhaps quiet self-reflection. Happy to discuss.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:21:10 2020 No.14628917

How can people be this stupid?
You want to vote against abortion when in fact it is your political enemies that are the ones statistically trying to abort their children?
And they are also, by far, the demographic full of gimme-dats who reproduce like rabbits.
You are basically arguing on a point that will guarantee your party will always lose elections because the others will continue to multiply so much, come fifteen, come twenty years from now.
Based and redpilled? Hah! More like destined for extinction!

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:23:05 2020 No.14628933 >>14628882 You are too kind. I'm just a poet's daughter. Fashioned with the sourness of fatherly kisses with a breath of red wine, the scent of cigarettes, and the ink stains over my dress. A born-again muse.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:25:50 2020 No.14628962

>>14628917
Those people aren't stupid at all. If you think abortion is fine that's okay. But imagine being such a garbage person that you think it's morally wrong and should be illegal only to change your mind because "killing babies is okay if those babies are more likely to be at odds with my political interest." What a cold, abhorrent way to look at the world.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:27:33 2020 No.14628980 >>14628899 I'm not sure if I have much to contribute, but I would be glad to read more of your thoughts.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:36:03 2020 No.14629052

>>14628962
>If you think abortion is fine that's okay.
I'm a natalist, so it's a little grey. I aim to have lots of children, and I don't care if others kill off their own. It will just mean that my offspring will inherit the world while other bloodlines will die off like cucks. I'm actually more worried that too many brilliant people aren't having children, guaranteeing the future of the human race to get dumber.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:38:54 2020 No.14629069

>>14628980
I have had quite a few thoughts on the subject matter of eroticism, romanticism and how they may interact. The tragedy of this dichotomy is often it is difficult for one to accept another's monopoly on one's mind. These two facets of desire hardly can cohabit with one another. It seems over my own heart, it is idealistic romanticism which has taken the reign, a mighty conqueror which expresses itself in the form of erotomania, obsessive tendencies and platonic idealization. If there is man, to me he becomes idea, abstract concept, ''it''. He develops a mind of his own, a Pygmalion's statue I carefully carve out of the few thoughts I may inspire myself from, snapshots of interaction I've had with him, of whatever knowledge I may have over his interests, his opinions. He becomes a headless pawn, which I make king in a game with no other logic than to discover him in a stalemate where I may never approach too close, for fear of being discovered as an avid admirer. Rather he remains on the pedestal, than for me to revolt against my own god, and tear down his statuesque demeanor. So I shall observe and absolve myself of the careful emotions I have stolen from him. There is too few men who have discovered me. The ones who did, did not know what to do with it all. It is odd, because whilst it seems to intrigue and inspire them to express their own darkest desires, or idealizations, they will still display in their widened eyes, the look of fear, of petrifying voyeurism, the kind that only comes when being too attracted by the dancing eyes of mine, Medusa. And I, although not too ashamed or bothered by their expert deduction, the slight lifting of the veil with which I cover myself, innocence, still, I do not like the reflection. Why is it? The reflection, is that of absence, that of separation and dis-affectation. One would rather feign not to have seen, not to understand. That is my hurtful realization. I realize as well that my words of love are silent, yet I still expect a word of admission from them. Stalemate...

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:44:54 2020 No.14629106 >>14616969 I just write to make myself laugh.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 13:59:34 2020 No.14629190

>>14629069
I can relate with your distinction between eroticism and romanticism. Your description of the romantic side reminds me of something I recently read about Goethe. It might interest you:

> “The better known love affairs of Goethe — with the exception of that with Christiane Vulpius — were all more erotic than sexual in character. It can be justifiably maintained that, in his relations with women, Goethe primarily experienced the sensations and enjoyments of his imagination [fantasy]. He always tried to derive from woman the sentiment of enthusiastic inspiration. In other words, he sought stimulation to kindle the flames of his mind and heart, without providing gratification for his physical urges. The passionate infatuation which bound him to Charlotte Buff, Lili, or Friederike Brion, seen in the light of the situation surrounding each, could not possibly possess a sexual character...

> “Many histories of literature have examined the nature of the relationship Goethe and Frau von Stein. What emerges appears to indicate an ‘ideal’ liason. Since it is generally known that Goethe did not remain continent during his stay in Italy, and soon after his return home began a love affair with Christiane Vulpius (who refused him nothing), it can well be concluded that he had previously led a rather chaste life at home. There is no doubt that Goethe’s love was at its most passionate whenever he happened to be separated from the object of his yearning. His love only assumed shape and depth after he had opportunity for reflection and meditation. When he writes to Frau von Stein, he is really close to her — closer than he every was in her presence.

> “As Herman Grimm so rightly says: ‘His relationship with Lotte only becomes understandable if we transfer all his passion into those hours when he was not together with her.” —Charles Waldemar, The Mystery of Sex

At any rate it seems to me that those who relate the romantic side are mostly (if not dominantly) those with artistic temperament while the worldly people would adhere to the sexual side. I myself have experienced both sides, but never at the same time. If I have a romantic inclination towards a girl, it is always pure, and conversely, I can never feel romantically towards a girl to whom I'm sexually attracted.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 14:09:57 2020 No.14629239

>>14629190
You presented my case very well, and no one could have done it justice more so than the idealist romantic Goethe, himself. I have a very high affinity for German romanticism, especially since I am always in search of the elusive concept of transcendantal idealism in my daily life. Anything that to me, can transcend the realm of abstract conception, and be born a physical reality in shape and form, is ambrosia. And love is not exempt from that. I suppose it all befalls to finding the right person, perhaps but that is still something which, I must regretfully admit, I always have to give to the harshness of the well-known duality between Eros and Agape. Were I too be more Epicurian, I would follow a flight of fancy and settle, nestle up with a man with whom I have high physical affinities and thus enjoy the pleasures of energy well spent, and consumed - but rather I follow more so the footsteps or pilgrimage, shall I say, of the various schools of asceticism, amongst many Sufis, which I feel most close to, due to their capacity to betroth their avid desire for expression into an apt medium which allows them for the security of abstinence. Perhaps it is a solution of facility, but I think it greatly helps embody the purpose of resolve and control over oneself than to idolize love, and pursue it, if only in pure idea. Very Kantian, if you ask me. We are lucky Heidegger followed, and with him, much more practical, or should I say Epicurean and pragmatic visions of sentiments...

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 14:51:53 2020 No.14629414

I don't know how to feel /lit/. I'm a literal incel, I feel so ugly that I sometimes feel the urge to do all I can in public to cover up my face so that people don't judge me but a girl sent me this massage like an hour ago and I can't take my mind off it:

"Why you try to spread it ! Be confident for god sakes!

I was looking for a friend in (تبادل کتب درسی )
Gp and i accidentally saw your profile and recognised you from library and i just wonder why you think like this about yourself ( bc of bio and this stuff you Had)! I don’t know you but decided to tell you as a FRIENDLY reminder that I think you’re cute :) so stop it . Don’t consider it as weird thing or special thing like crush or sth bc as i said i don’t know you!! I just wanted you to know ok?"

I live in Iran so English is not our native language but she decided to send me this in broken English for some reason and I just said that it was nice of her and told her I appreciated it. Should I have done more? I get obsessed anytime I feel like I might have a small chance with a girl because I fear it's gonna be my last chance to be able to get a gf but nothing this clear has ever happened to me. This is literally the first time a girl has ever massaged me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 14:56:58 2020 No.14629432 >>14629414 also I thought you said all women are whores, /lit/. you were lying to me this whole time. Not one of my so-called friends has ever sent a message this nice to me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 15:02:34 2020 No.14629452 >>14629432 >listening to ince/lit/es in the first place

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 15:10:03 2020 No.14629490 >>14629414 It doesn't seem like she is interested. Instead of going for more, I suggest taking her advice. منم نمیدونم چرا بعضیا دوست دارن با انگلیسی داغون با هم صحبت کنن ولی خب مهم اینه که پیام قشنگی بود :)

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 15:33:40 2020 No.14629575

>>14629414
don't chase her as a gf, but try to establish friendship. even if you dont gf her, you'll end up with a compassionate nice friend - despite the incel bullshit you may've ingested already, women make great friends.
what if that girl is shy too and it took her great courage and hours, maybe days of considering before she sent you that message? you see how she deliberately avoided sounding flirty - maybe because she's tired of men hitting on her, ignoring her personality. may be a lonely soul just like you despite a swarm of coomers lusting after her.
take your chance, brother. just don't view her as a potential gf, not from the start.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 15:56:52 2020 No.14629682

>>14629239
It was a pleasure reading your thoughts. May I suggest another philosophers whose thoughts you would likely appreciate? Schopenhauer seems to me to be the best synthesis of Goethe and Kant, whose philosophy, as you say, transcends the realm of abstract and is born in the concrete -- and vice versa. He also shares your vision of asceticism and pursuing the pure Platonic idea. If you have already engaged with his philosophy, I would be glad to read what you thought of him.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 16:57:14 2020 No.14630012 >>14629239 >>14629682 this exchange between you two is so surreally good that i'm suspecting it's an ascended samefag monologue. i've never had so much pleasure reading someone else's discussion on a topic i give so little fuck about

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 17:20:12 2020 No.14630111

>>14629575
>>14629490

that's good advice and despite of being very undesirable, women have never been too harsh to me, they just ignore me and make me feel invisible which most people do so i don't really hate women, i only become incredibly jealous when they flirt with someone in front of me and totally ignore me, and i would actually love to be friends with a girl but i know that i would bore them, even this girl, and not really because i think they're too shallow or anything like that, it's just because i am incredibly boring as a person so I'm not gonna pursue a friendship with her either. Incels just made me realize that if I had been good looking, my personality would be less of a problem but with my current situation and my anxiety and depression on top, the chances of me ever finding someone with whom i can have a mutual love is very low.

sorry for the rambling. i know these are just dumb problems a lot of people have, i guess i
just wanted to get them outta my mind.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 17:23:30 2020 No.14630136

>>14630012
I'm the second poster and I have to admit I feel the same way. This was without a doubt the best exchange I've had in my few years on this board, though frankly I contributed very little and it was all to that anon's credit. Hopefully she would visit and post more frequently.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 17:24:41 2020 No.14630148 >>14620455 sounds like john dies at the end lolsorandum homestuck -core

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:10:43 2020 No.14630346

this is really dumb and awfully written and i mostly wrote it down for myself so read at your own cost.

My mom just told me the story of how I was born again. We don't really talk that much cause we have nothing to say usually but i feel like whenever she wants to talk to me, she tells me this story and the more i have grown up, the more details she tells me about it. I would say she has probably told me the story about 5-6 times throughout the years. It begins when she was a high school student in a small village who couldn't go to school after the revolution because they had closed down the schools and continues with her going back to school and then going to university, going to work, marrying my dad, all the issues she and my dad had because they couldn't conceive a child and then ends with me being born. and this time i just started tearing up while she was telling the story because i feel so sorry for her. she married my dad and it's just clear that none of them actually loved each other and he never gave her that much love because that's just the person he was, he just wanted to spend his time all alone by himself and my mom is the opposite of him and feels happiest when she is with other people which i think made her miserable especially when she couldn't get pregnant and so she was this girl who was in a marriage with someone that didn't love her and also thought that she may never be able to have a child and i just can't imagine what it must have been like for her and in here men basically divorce their wives if they can't have a child and remarry so she had to worry about that too and she tells me all the trouble she had to go through so that i get born and it just makes me and how happy she was when she finally got pregnant and it just makes me feel so incredibly sad and guilty. my dad died when i was 12 and she has had to raise me all by herself since then and i just think about how i have probably been her only hope throughout all these years, even before i get born and i just wonder how disappointed she must be that i turned out like i did. i imagine her thinking how i'm gonna grow up and become a man and how she could talk to me and how i could help her when she gets old but none of that turned out to be true. she is almost 60 now and she has to do all the housework and all the shopping and stuff like that. i imagine her thinking i'm gonna take care of her when she gets sick yet i've never had to do that but she has to take care of me every couple of months nowadays cause i go through a nervous breakdown and how she can't sleep all night anytime there is something wrong with me while i sleep and just knowing that i wouldn't do the same for her if it was reversed. i imagine her thinking how she is gonna talk to me about everything when i grow up and just how disappointed she must feel now that i've turned out like my father and we can't really talk to each other.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:21:33 2020 No.14630390

>>14630346
idk if what i´m about to say is going to make you feel better but my mom is the opposite of your mother in every sense of the word, she´s ugly, hypermasculine (agressive), yells all the time, has a victim complex, smells bad, etc-....

i remember the story she told me that when she gave birth to me, she said to herself that the baby she saw was too ugly, too weak and she rejected me the instant second i came to this world, nevertheless the years after that weren´t any better since she constantly abused me physically and psychologically, living with her was a torment, i would cry to my father and the only he always said "i will talk to her later", of course he was lying, he couldn´t give a flying fuck about my well-being

so naturally i became alone, frighten at the world but i didn´t anyone to trust, alone with fear, having nightmares and such, doesn´t help either my mom is a religious nut so in top of that, she always scare me with the chrisitan concept of hell and eternal fire, alongside with the rapture and armageddon

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:23:59 2020 No.14630405 >>14630390 >she told me that when she gave birth to me, she said to herself that the baby she saw was too ugly, too weak and she rejected me the instant second i came to this world jesus christ anon

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:25:34 2020 No.14630412 >>14617020 >synthetic hormones >primal state

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:30:51 2020 No.14630424

>>14630390
i'm really sorry to hear that and hearing your misfortune doesn't make me feel better at all, only makes me feel guiltier about what a son i've been to her, and i truly hope you can work through that, i can't even imagine how terrible it must have been like.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:33:58 2020 No.14630438 >>14630390 That sounds like childhood of serial killer

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:34:28 2020 No.14630442 >>14617872 we call them 'normalfags/normies' theyy are completely normal—disgustingly normal in both the best and worst ways. very much the extras in your life. once you understand that and embrace solipsism things will be great for you.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:36:23 2020 No.14630449

>>14630424
currently i go to a therapist and i´m on antidepressants so it isn´t that bad nowadays, i don´t talk to my mom and i don´t care if she considers me a failure or not

>>14630438
really? i don´t like normies but i´m way too emphatic to harm someone, although, if i know somebody is treating me bad i only wish the worst to them, i don´t take any actions because i know there´s consequences with the law and all that, and i have goals i want to achieve in life

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:36:57 2020 No.14630451 >>14619226 >parties are your chance to make peace with the whores so you can stop bitching about women on 4chan cringe anyone sentient who actual interacts with women will only hate them more from doing so.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:39:55 2020 No.14630459

"Diversion" is a fine word to use in modern writing. Taken in a more refined light, it implies a distraction from one's venerable obligations. In a more humble age, it seems to lose its denotation. Diversion from what? Banality or horror (if they cannot be the same)? It insists that life as we receive it should be diverted from; shall one's insignificant affairs not suffice, then?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:40:51 2020 No.14630462 >>14626480 post cunt

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:42:59 2020 No.14630471 >>14628899 >>>14628773 post tits

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:47:23 2020 No.14630489 >>14628773 >>14628843 it's amazing how much better men are than women

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:55:34 2020 No.14630515

>>14630459
context exits anon. diversion [from what one was doing or working to], means exactly what you would think: being put on a different path than intended. a distraction is something that obstructs your activity which you can pass and be back on path.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 18:58:32 2020 No.14630525 Sometimes I don’t really know what to do with my life besides read.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:00:30 2020 No.14630532 File: 841 KB, 2448x3264, img_20200129_232924.910.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] i had nothing to do so i drew soleimani

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:06:38 2020 No.14630560
File: 1.41 MB, 539x296, gun.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Be told I'm getting laid off from my job
>Quit on the spot instead of waiting for it to happen
>Walk out of the office and fancy myself putting on imaginary sunglasses and lighting an imaginary cigarette while the building behind me explodes in a ball of flame
>mfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYfljBCpmE4

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:11:57 2020 No.14630582

I feel like I've been tricked into failure. By all those things which we are told are true, but 'nonetheless if you believe them you are an idiot'. I always felt like feminism was talking about me when it said patriarchy hurts men too. I never wanted to be overly masculine. It felt foreign to me. Yet as I grew older and had encounters with women, I was completely confused. It seemed like they would pick me up at parties do things with me, sexually, and whenever I began to show emotions, they would treat me like a freak, or a monster - like I made some terrible faux pas. And the more I maintain my lack of connection, the longer they would stay. I started to measure it, intentionally. Outside of parties, it seemed like women would show interest, but then expect me to make a move on them. I never did, because it wasn't what I was looking for. I didn't want to begin a relationship where I was the one in charge, the one making the decisions, the one leading. I felt like I needed a woman who would do that instead, who would play the stereotypical masculine role. But more and more time passed, and no one was interested. I wasn't particularly ambitious in life, because I wanted to support someone else, or other people generally, rather than be the one supported - or the one providing material security. But women would just look at me, flirt with me, show interest, and then DO nothing. I don't know. Maybe I did something wrong. It just seems like all those sexist memes I see on 4chan all day are right. That I should have behaved in a masculine way, and ignored what everything else in media and education was telling me. That I ruined every chance I had because I didn't want to play the leadership role in a relationship, and I was stupid enough to think that was allowed.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:20:39 2020 No.14630616 >>14630582 >I didn't want to begin a relationship where I was the one in charge, the one making the decisions, the one leading. I felt like I needed a woman who would do that instead, who would play the stereotypical masculine role faggot

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:20:48 2020 No.14630617

>>14625461
It’s pretty absurd. Of course it’s a mistake to assume that everyone’s as disillusioned and apathetic towards life as myself, that’s projection, but the fact that mental health issues amongst millennials is at an all time high leads me to believe otherwise. The best and only way to make strong, lasting relationships is to bond emotionally. How can we do that if people are constantly afraid of coming off as a nuisance or emotionally manipulative? The only setting where it’s deemed socially acceptable to be emotionally vulnerable is on social media and other online forums. Even then I view it as a flagrant display of attention seeking behavior depending on how well I know the person. This generation is so fucked. The normalization of mental illness is important, but the fetishization of depression and other mood disorders is getting out of hand. It’s making it much more difficult for people who actually suffer from acute mental illness to be taken seriously. I blame pop culture.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:24:02 2020 No.14630629

>>14628646
I was ruminating on similar thoughts last night. I have this unbearable desire to fuck and have one night stands even though I am old enough and experienced enough now to know it doesn't actually make me feel good. For a while I thought that maybe if I was able to fuck a truly beautiful woman instead of these desperate whores then this dissatisfaction would pass, but when it finally happened she became infatuated with me and I cut her loose. It's so easy to understand how unhealthy all this is on an intellectual level but much harder to really feel it truly.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:30:55 2020 No.14630655 >>14630582 gay, but you wouldn't want a relationship with some whore at a party anyway.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:32:28 2020 No.14630662 >>14630617 faggot

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:37:57 2020 No.14630694 >>14630662 Emotionally retarded mong.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:38:04 2020 No.14630695

>>14630582
Relatable. Can you believe, I didn't have sex with my first girlfriend because I - thinking I was being chivalrous - didn't want to make her uncomfortable and waited until she expressed her desire to be fucked. Of course, we broke up and she went on holiday and lost her virginity to a complete stranger. At the time I really thought I was doing the right thing, because that's how I had been told to be respectful. Of course I realise now that she had been waiting for me to "take charge" so to speak and take her virginity from her.

But times have changed and I have learner my mistakes. I am a lot more assertive and confident now and I have a lot more success. I have my own romantic neuroses I still have to deal with, but sexual assertiveness is at least not one of them.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:40:28 2020 No.14630708 File: 795 KB, 400x326, angry.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14630695 >Of course, we broke up and she went on holiday and lost her virginity to a complete stranger. damn, why are women so cruel?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:44:44 2020 No.14630725 It's too late. They say we can turn it around, but they know it's a lie. The Earths limits have been passed and there's no turning back. I won't live to see the worse, but I feel sad for those who inherit this world with no future.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:44:49 2020 No.14630726 >>14630708 Because they know they have much more options than we as men do. If they aren’t gonna get what they want from you they can get it from someone else with little to no effort.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:47:05 2020 No.14630736 >>14630726 yeah i know they have easier, but us have to put 100x the effort but with an stranger, she easy as hell, why why why??????

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 19:52:44 2020 No.14630758 >>14630708 >>14630726 To be fair, that same holiday I did the exact same thing and lost my virginity to some random French chick, so I can't begrudge her too much. Still, would have been nice to have lost it to her.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:01:33 2020 No.14630789 >>14627884 based. his writing is incredible

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:04:09 2020 No.14630798

>>14630758
No one’s first time is ever that great. I lost my virginity to a girl who turned out to be and still is one of the most petty and emotionally manipulative persons I’ve ever met. She broke up with me my senior year of HS and went to homecoming with a huge douche a week later. He cheated on her like a dozen times though. I don’t relish the fact, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amused by the irony at the time.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:07:15 2020 No.14630811 [DELETED]

This is hard for me to admit. I've spent my entire life trying to look the opposite, but I am desperate for attention, I keep screaming for help hoping someone will reach their hand to save me yet every time I drown a little bit more without anyone caring.

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:15:52 2020 No.14630852

>>14630758
That’s shitty, anon. That one incident isn’t going to set the standard for the rest of your romantic life though. I managed to eventually find a cool chick to stick it to a few times a week and watch some kino movies and drink with in between. If you can hook up with a girl you’ll eventually find one that wants to stick around. Just keep at it. You’ve had sex so you’re already doing better than most of the incels on this board.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:23:12 2020 No.14630880 >>14630852 Oh dude thanks for the kind words but this was 6 years ago and I have well and truly moved onto better things. Not sure what made me want to talk about it today, just feeling contemplative I suppose

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:29:20 2020 No.14630906

A few years ago I decided I wanted to create something that, due to recent developments, would basically be it’s inspiration’s spiritual successor. The more I think about actually doing it, the more I think about what it would take, and what I’ve given already to get there, the more I think I can’t do it, even if I’m getting closer and closer. If I got this done I’d be the next John Romero, and if a few things went differently almost a decade ago, I’d have the perfect personality to pull it off. That personality slowly decayed into what it is now. I never even noticed until recently. I guess I was subconsciously avoiding it the whole time. How do I get myself back?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:30:12 2020 No.14630911 >>14627884 This. There's no such thing as a superfluous sentence in a Nietzsche work.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:30:57 2020 No.14630915 St_sufjan anon you should open up your twitter DMs and we can chat, I see you posting and deleting

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:38:16 2020 No.14630942 Saman jaan dokhtare dorost migoft. Vaghan dalili nadare ke shoma ba incela identify koni. Manam ta haddi mesle to boodam, tasviri ke az khodet too zehnet dari ba vagheeyat fargh dare. Roo harfam fekr kon.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:42:43 2020 No.14630959 >>14630880 Lol right on. Maybe it helped some other anon.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:42:53 2020 No.14630960 >>14628819 Anon, I...

Anonymous Wed Jan 29 20:52:40 2020 No.14630994

>>14630942
>>14630915

thanks anon. I'm really confused about how you found me but i'm really too anxious to talk, and what i meant by needing someone to help me is someone close to me, I don't expect you to waste your time talking to me and I hope i haven't somehow made you feel guilty. again the fact that you took the time already means a lot to me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 21:14:25 2020 No.14631104 >>14630994 No need to feel guilty at all man, but I'm happy to listen if you're down for it. What's the internet for if not consequence free venting? I also totally understand if you don't want to talk though, it's up to you. Take care brother.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:00:12 2020 No.14631573 I want to get more religious but I'm having trouble finding a good religion.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:09:27 2020 No.14631610 >>14616969 I really don't like my philosophy being associated with a major religion. It doesn't feel right. It feels like existential suicide. I very much so wish to remain secular.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:11:36 2020 No.14631620 Air enters my nose then leaves it How many breaths have I taken How many more do I have

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:14:59 2020 No.14631634 >>14631573 I wish I could know from personal experience.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:19:05 2020 No.14631656 >>14631634 it sucks because my parents aren't religious either

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 29 23:44:30 2020 No.14631780 I want to be a good communist but Steven Pinker and Yuval Harari are making some pretty good arguments

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 00:55:57 2020 No.14632053 >>14631610 This is why it's hard for me to get into Dosto, it's hard to read his work without seeing how much of the characters and plot are meant to reflect some form of Christian symbolism.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:08:47 2020 No.14632111 >>14631573 create your own. God is there, no matter how you aknowledge him, and he sees you, no matter how you serve.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:09:56 2020 No.14632119 Started reading Plato today and the future seems bright. Maybe this is it, I might as well become a Neoplatonist and later read the mystics from the Middle Ages that reference his work.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:54:15 2020 No.14632297
File: 3.00 MB, 1553x785, BB3599F2-2FAA-41D5-90B6-BABD565CB283.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

These past few nights I've fallen asleep, Billy Butcher has been showing up in my dreams. It starts simple. He looks me in the eyes and says to me, "Listen Hughie, I want you to make a haha. I want to train you like they trained me wife. And don worry, it'll make you laugh. I promise to modulate me voice for ya wee ears." Just before things pick up and he commands his bulldog onto me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:55:33 2020 No.14632300 I feel like I'm pissing away every single day. This year is finally the year I get to pursue my future, and I've never been more uncertain of what that future should be.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:58:00 2020 No.14632309

>>14626895
My twinkle has dulled and faded
I am running out of fuel
While collapsing on the world,
I cannot be your jewel.
The smokey clouds are your protection
for they will guard your soul
You should keep your eye off of space
because I am turning into a black hole.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 01:59:34 2020 No.14632315 File: 222 KB, 700x1005, 13.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] if she was old socks, you're new socks

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 02:24:48 2020 No.14632399 I think I wish my professor was my mother. How do I cope with this. I feel pathetic and I want to die.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 02:28:04 2020 No.14632409 File: 8 KB, 199x253, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] got my first writing paycheck. officially a hired geek.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 02:41:31 2020 No.14632432 >>14632399 read Taras Bulba. companionship is stronger than blood bond, there's nothing that stops you from treating prof like your spiritual mother.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:19:15 2020 No.14632536

>>14632432
>there's nothing that stops you from treating prof like your spiritual mother.
Other than the fact that that relationship can literally never form. It cannot and will not. That is the point. She will never love me in that way, regardless of how I feel. The thought of this makes my chest hurt. I wish I could die and be reborn as her child, and I believe that life would be more worth living than my current one. This is an incredibly unsettling and insanity inducing feeling to have. My stress and anxiety levels continue to climb and my desire to be loved deepens.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:23:18 2020 No.14632544 >>14632399 Read up on transference: you're a walking talking case study!

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:24:41 2020 No.14632548 >>14616969 Did she mean it? Do they ever mean it? Just being nice.. Just being polite.. Just.. I'm not awkward, I can strike up great conversations with strangers and share laughs and stories and make friends almost instantly, but..

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:25:23 2020 No.14632550 I dont like being around others because i hate putting my social mask on.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:27:33 2020 No.14632553 >>14632544 Okay, do I get an Oprah interview now?

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 03:30:47 2020 No.14632568

>>14632553
Clearly some aspect of your relationship to your own real mother is lacking. What was the issue? Did she neglect you? Does this new professor "see" you in the way your mother did? Anon, you must allow yourself to mourn your mother. You will never fill that hole in your heart but you must allow yourself to grieve lest you drive yourself insane.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 04:03:55 2020 No.14632679 >>14632568 *see you like she never did, my apologies

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 05:38:07 2020 No.14632935 >>14619508 >A girl unfriended me on fb stopped reading

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 05:47:30 2020 No.14632964 >>14629106 Possibly the most intelligent thing on this thread.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 08:03:23 2020 No.14633306 I like to fuck fat women

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 09:22:27 2020 No.14633553 >>14633306 Im dont find fat/chubby girls attractive

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 09:41:48 2020 No.14633617 File: 563 KB, 1293x1880, Mary and Jesus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>14631573 I recommend Catholicism. I had my misgivings, but I found it to be the Church set up by Christ

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 10:26:13 2020 No.14633798 >>14633617 How did you find it?

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 10:31:57 2020 No.14633820

>>14628843
cont...

I found myself today wishing for some ailment to take me. Something I had not done in a while. Perhaps it is because I had blood drawn today. The nurse could not find the vein in my right arm. I suppose it's only normal to have some reasonable amount of thoughts of fear when going through medical examination, but mine were rooted elsewhere. A general sense of deletion, I suppose, the difficulty within me to find meaning and purpose. I am at a crossroads, on many aspects, professional life, personal life.
I've been rationalizing a bit too heartily the call of the wild that has been murmuring in my heart like a wolf's howl. I try to resist its cold, rattling fangs for now. Winter in the city is nice. But I am too sedated to see further than the shining lights, before dawn, and the mindless chatter here and there. It is imperative that I leave. My only solace to spend the little time I have to myself, is to pursue the writing of the novel I had began writing a few months earlier, and put away to focus on practical goals. I have a feeling it could be a great novel, were I to apply myself.
I shall get back into it. Also, I'd love to begin a text correspondence with fellow writers. I'm not sure there is such a platform here on /lit/, as I last visited a couple years back (save from last night). If anyone is interested in exchanging advice, support and accountability, please kindly let me know.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 11:19:18 2020 No.14633992
File: 15 KB, 301x167, Lady of Las lajas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>14633798
through searching. i found 8ch /christian/ and I could not refute their arguments. The theology is SO...deep, yet simple. Catholicism is beautifully simple, YET complex. It can be done by peasents and kings..yet one could spend their WHOLE life, and not even scratch the surface of it. That and the fact the Church outlasted virtually all countries since its inception (barring a few) leads me to believe it is protected. Because it is very anomalous in nature. There is 1 Catholic Church, thousands of Protestant denominations, different sects of Islam/Judaism. I recommend G.K Chesterton's Orthodoxy and some of his other works. He also wrote a bunch of detective novels if you are interested. Also, for a bible, get pic related or a Jerusalem bible. DO NOT get a KJV, it is missing some books as well as not being a faithful translation. I have noticed Sola scriptura makes no sense, because 1) the bible as we know it did not become into existence until 430 A.D. 2) there were few bible to hand to people and 3) even if there were enough bibles, back then, most people... could not read, so they had to be taught the faith., which is where tradition comes in. Protestants in general too often ignore the first few hundred years of Christianity and ignore how the early Christians lived. The Catholic faith has made me look at my own failings where Protestantism didn't. It made me realize how ungrateful I have been, how selfish I was. Being a Catholic is not easy. But I think of it as a workout routine. A hard workout routine drives many people away, but for those who persevere, it reaps many rewards. Protestantism is watered down Christianity. It attracts many, but is not as rewarding as Catholicism. People often don't like being told they are wrong. They don't like to be told they are sinful. The Church teaches that few will be saved. I had trouble with this. How could that be? It is actually simple: people CHOOSE to not be saved. Theoretically, being Catholic is the easiest thing. But we often put barriers between us and salvation.

> i think god is wrong. Gay marriage is legitimate

>why must I fast? God knows I am sorry.

>I believe drunkenness is okay, as long as no one is hurt.

It is hard because WE make it hard. We often put our pride first BEFORE God; We think we know better, when in fact we don't.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 11:21:37 2020 No.14633997

>>14616969
My innate fear of failure is keeping me from approaching my desires and I do not understand how to combat it.
I know that it is rooted in early life experiences and a failure to properly cope and deal with them, but I do not understand how I'm meant to overcome these issues that have plagued me since an early childhood.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 11:34:59 2020 No.14634040 >>14633820 If that novel is going to be as well written as your posts on /lit/, then I certainly hope you get back into it. I would be interested in such correspondence.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 12:07:48 2020 No.14634202

>>14629414
anons she sent me another message asking me to talk to her anytime i want and i sent her this /r9k/-tier message and I'm pretty sure I scared her off. Fuck me. I'm never gonna forgive myself for messing this up. She could be like that girl in welcome to the n.h.k trying to get me out of this mess but I messed it up.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 12:14:57 2020 No.14634224 >>14634202 She was most likely looking for a friend, possibly who is fluent in English. From your tweets she probably knew already that don't have the healthiest mental state. Just apologize and see if you can go from there.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 12:15:59 2020 No.14634229 >>14634224 how does everyone know i'm the guy from twitter?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 12:17:04 2020 No.14634234 >>14634229 and are my tweets really awful? I don't feel that different from the average guy on 4chan but you guys treat me like a freak.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 12:19:36 2020 No.14634244 >>14634229 >>14634234 Sorry didn't mean to imply that you were a freak. I'm one of the anons that replied to you yesterday. That's how I knew. Not saying your twitter is awful, but I think you'd agree that it's not healthy either.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 13:00:33 2020 No.14634441

Since I was young I wanted to be a writer. Yet here I am, sitting on the top of the bell curve. Above others, and below others. I'm developing my style. I have hit the road mark that everyone faces. The one that requires thousands of hours to pass through. I should just fuck it. Write meme peices, pander to some political party, or even market a book towards people too dumb, or too young, to recognize that I'm nothing special. The step I took last year to becoming a writer was a large one. I'm now a human. I'm conscious of myself. No god hangs above me, the needle, the bottle, the ideologies I once clung to. They are in my past. I took my golden ticket to life and shredded it. I'm better for it.

As my writing style goes. "Your pacing is too fast." Is my biggest complaint. Fuck that, I consider that a personal attack. I'm a quick person. I skip ahead 10 seconds on YouTube videos when I can. If a book is spending half a page describing something frivolous then I'll just skip to the next bit of dialogue. My brain isn't smooth. I understand that some books get off on flowery language. Lolita I didn't skip, because the innuendo was interesting.
Perhaps, as I have just realized that I don't hate long paragraphs. I hate unoriginal paragraphs. If I have seen something before then I don't care about it.

That's the conclusion I'm looking for. That is me. I have spent my entire life devouring things are quickly as possible. Like I was on a time limit or something. I suppose that attitude has permeated into all facets of my life. Good, let it stew and rot. I don't want to write anything unoriginal. I need to change myself, to accomplish that goal. So be it. If anything the last year has taught me that changing oneself is easy. You just git gud and do it. So I will.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 14:13:32 2020 No.14634705 Damn job keeps blocking all the sites I use that keep me fucking sane and productive ironically.

Anonymous Thu Jan 30 14:35:55 2020 No.14634812
File: 62 KB, 640x716, IMG_20200130_223041_733.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

enlightment is realising a good part of boomers are alright. i often see people like pic, likeable in naive sincerity, simple in their sorrows and joys.
some of those people could be your favorite 60-80's novel's MC in their better days.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 14:57:48 2020 No.14634913 >>14634812 Yeah, I've been feeling this too. I guess it comes with getting older?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 30 15:59:44 2020 No.14635227 >>14633997 little by little or not at all

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/lit/ - Literature