Write what is on your mind

[Anonymous No.12798774]

[Anonymous No.12798792]

After failing spectacularly in three of my endeavours, I've finally decide to cave in, become an attorney and live a normie's life till the end of my days. I have no willpower at the moment to fight against the current and I'll freefloat for a few years until I can muster some strength again. It's a terrible feeling, coming to terms with one's own weakness and dealing with it. I suppose most people go through this phase, but this knowledge doesn't help me cope with it. I wake up feeling like I've barely rested at all, days go by and I make nothing of them. Goodnight, frens.

[Anonymous No.12798797]

I'm writing a story about repetition, similar to how .gifs repeat themselves, but it's very deep and I'm afraid society wouldn't understand its meaning.

[Anonymous No.12798803]

>>12798774
There is this girl asking about me, and my friend wants me to go talk to her.
I tried to ask her out two times before, the first time she came back to her boyfriend and stopped talking to me, the second time I fell for the "friend" bullshit and she didn't go either.
Now she broke up with the new boyfriend again...
This is really low, but I kinda want to talk to her just because I'm so fucking lonely.

[Anonymous No.12798814]

>>12798792
You sure sound ripe for law school. Just for the hell of it, what's next if you drop out?

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12798817]

Clouds are trying to clean us all off the face the earth. Drop by drop the rain wears things down. Infinitely patient, the clouds play a long game

[Anonymous No.12798819]

>>12798814
I've already finished it. In my country you go to law school straight out of high school. I already have my diploma and passed the bar (although I haven't practiced law apart from internships).

[Anonymous No.12798837]

I unironically daydreamed about choking and fucking a guy this morning and I'm not gay.

[Anonymous No.12798853]

After taking ~750 mg of caffeine a day right before bed I've denied myself enough sleep that everything feels like a dream. when I read I simply focus on reading, without worrying about whether or not I'm completely understanding everything. I don't feel like people are looking at me whenever I walk around. Everything looks prettier. Pretty nice overall. Only problem is my grades.

[Anonymous No.12798855]

>>12798817
<3

[Anonymous No.12798856]

Literarily speaking:

Religion isn't true, but most people don't have the time or patience to be able to substantially wrestle with ethics, mortality, and meaning and so on. And that's okay. You can't learn everything and even the most autistic polymath still needs to trust that people are telling them useful information about subjects they haven't studied. I used to be a lot angrier about this and have slowly come to accept that some people will have different beliefs from me

Non-literarily speaking:

I can finally feel my meds working, I've had a very good first session with my therapist, I can laugh out loud at cumtown again, the sun is out more and spring is just around the corner. I haven't felt this optimistic in a long time

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12798858]

>>12798792
Nothing wrong with multiple skills to fall back on. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

>>12798797
If it works, it’s pure art. If it’s short you can put into a short story collection.

>>12798803
Friend zone here for a bit, at the very least

>>12798837
Too much 4chan

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12798864]

>>12798858
Here=her
Fuckfuckfuck this fucking broke ass spellcheck

[Anonymous No.12798871]

>>12798864
As in, take longer to actualy say hi? Because I'm not talking to her currently
She was dating this guy fro some solid months

[Anonymous No.12798889]

Lent is the best time to make change. As long as it is not for yourself but for God you will not want for willpower. Every penance becomes so easy to endure you can add more and more.

If you're not religious think of it this way: stop looking inward, look outward. Self-improvement is selfish. It's masturbation as the saying goes. It's so true. Don't seek to improve the self for yourself or your own benefit. Look outward and beyond.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12798902]

>>12798871
Now she seems interested. If you think she’s not worth it, that’s your call. Fine. But if you were to start talking with her, I would hesitate a bit I think.
(And I’m not even against FwB)

[Anonymous No.12798927]

>>12798902
>(And I’m not even against FwB)
I’ve had this conversation with women irl before. There is something inherently morally wrong with FwB, can’t you agree with that butterfly?

:3

[Anonymous No.12798928]

>>12798902
I honestly think I deserve better, specially considering what she did in the past. She has a kid too, and that's weird. On the other hand, when it comes to socializing I'm a fucking failure.
Idk... I want to cuddle and have sex w/ her as long as it is not too hard, you know? Any ideas?

[Anonymous No.12798933]

>>12798774
How do I solve my inner turmoil within myself?

Basically, I've written and rewritten several rough drafts for my novel that I've been planning for a while now, while the novel itself is not controversial the themes are politically incorrect, or at the very least, does not Toe the Political Line. Which is fine, I've written that way. However, I do not want to be blacklisted due to its content. Though I don't know if I should ruin my integrity for a non-guaranteed shot at success. What to do?

[Anonymous No.12798946]

>>12798792
I work as a firefighter/EMT. I've witnessed a few deaths but it has never bothered.

During the end of one of my shifts we had a dude die at the side of the road due to a cardiac arrest, we tried to bring him back but there was nothing we could do. His girlfriend was losing her mind, weeping, yelling and what not. I drove home that morning at got to witness a sunrise coming up behind a snowy mountain I live close by. The beauty of that sunrise brought me to tears and that's the first time I realized how short and fragile human life is and I realized I should do anything to find the good in life and that I should enjoy my life more, but I still seem to be depressed and suicidal. At this point that sunrise is the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet to my head. Those short moments of happiness and beauty seem to overshadow the long and depressed feelings of sadness, pain, and loneliness, at least for now.

[Anonymous No.12798954]

>>12798933
Same. I'm going to write a mind-breaking novel that's going to be too deep for society to understand (I don't even understand it myself so that must mean that God's (or Calliope) talking directly into my ear to write it).
I say: write it even if it's controversial. Maybe at least one person is going to enjoy it and that's all that matters.

[Anonymous No.12798968]

>>12798946
If you kill yourself, don't. Let's talk behind the curtains of reality, m8. I'm sure I could convince you otherwise.

[Anonymous No.12798971]

>>12798946
Hey, bro, things will get better. If you really feel like harming yourself, try to find a professional therapist or even a psychiatrist. Seeking medical help is no sign. Even those lifelines may help you. God Bless and have many more moments of beauty in your life.

[Anonymous No.12798991]

>>12798946
>What, if some day or night, some demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'this life as you live it, and as you have lived it, you will have to live it once more and innumerable times more ...'
>Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?
>Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'you are a god, and I have never heard anything more divine'.

[Anonymous No.12798994]

Religion is not real and is a lie constructed by mankind, but God is very real and created all this. Deep down I believe he mostly watches, but helps us out here and there at whims for slow soul-building goodness.

Crying is really good for all of us. This year, I gave away a lot of money (most of the fortune I accumulated for myself) and cried a lot. I know I'm in self-destruct mode on some level, but I'm also very aware that the world is, too, and I just had to help some of my fellow people. None of us is alone if we want to face the end of life. Sync up and find me if you're interested. You'll know what to look for when you're ready, trust me - it should be pretty obvious. I'll look like a total idiot, but in your heart I hope those of you who saw this post know that it was me all along.

Hell is coming. It's literally time travel / "temporal distortion". First we get a "rain of fire" which triggers automatic nukes from several countries. It's best if we don't stick around, but this is a hard choice and I respect those of you who simply don't understand, but are trying to.

[Anonymous No.12799000]

>>12798774
I don't care enough to read the rest of the dingbats in the thread. I know that I'll eventually off myself. I don't know when. It might be tonight- it might be tomorrow- it might be years on from now.

I've been raised by a genius IQ father who graduated from West Point but hasn't excelled in life outside of the service bc of his lack of self control. My mother is low IQ but has a much stronger faith in Christianity.
I'm the only kid in my family who hasn't attained a Masters degree. My oldest sister has a masters in school psychology, the sister closest to me has a masters in "social work".

While i'm objectively retarded I still cling to the belief of my intellectual superiority. I'm cringing as a write this. I want to die
>pic unrelated

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799017]

>>12798927
No, not at all. Between reasonable adults it’s perfectly fine. Sex and love are two separate things. They well together, but so too can the bond of friendship be strengthened with sexual intimacy.
Have you not seen me post links to de Cleyre’s essay They Who Marry Do Ill?

>>12798928
Well, you could friend zone her for a while. But think over the FwB side. If she’s too scuzzy for you, keep her as a friend of some sort.

[Anonymous No.12799044]

I'm done with women. Not in a retarded misogynistic way, I have just accepted that no one is going to want to be with me and I can't really blame them--I'm neurotic, awkward, dislike a lot of normie activities, have very high standards, and am minorly disabled to boot. Better to be alone.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799049]

>>12799044
But be happy, anon.

[Anonymous No.12799050]

>>12799000
There are worse things than being dumb, anon.

[Anonymous No.12799056]

>>12799049
I've been far happier since I accepted my solitude

[Anonymous No.12799063]

There is no mercy for the oatless. I do not even hear them. For you, brother, I answer only as to settle accounts and, in filling that final fraternal debit, I release you forever to your oatless existence. All I hear now is that heavenly stirring, of oats in those stomachs of beasts more full than mine! The heights I must climb! The girth I must grow! I do not know you, dear brother. Had I one who ever loved me, that brother would have tore his shrinking belly open and let me feast before begging for my share. There is much eating to be done. I must play catch up with destiny. Do not pester me further, brother. Every word I speak is an oat I spill.

[Anonymous No.12799064]

>>12799050
like being black?
>pic unrelated.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799067]

>>12799056
*hugs*

[Anonymous No.12799070]

>>12799050
Like... being really dumb?

[Anonymous No.12799072]

>>12799064
No, being mean, or cruel.

[Anonymous No.12799078]

>>12799067
Kindness is sometimes the most effective form of cruelty.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799104]

>>12799078
That’s some inverse logic, anon.
I recommend making some friends to augment your solitude. Take care kid.

[Anonymous No.12799119]

>>12799072
I don't want to be cruel. In the real world I work as a boots salesman while I'm working my way through school for a useless degree.
>Last week I told some dingbat that "The insulation in our boots works like the insulation your attic, it'll keep you warmer in the winter and keep you cold in the summer"- because I didn't want to go grab the non-insulated boot from the back.
I thought of Kant's "Duty Ethics" and chuckled. I know I'm malformed.
>pic unrelated.

[Anonymous No.12799121]

I just want to live in the shire from LotR.

[Anonymous No.12799128]

>>12799104
Not the same guy. That saccharine bulllshit is just sickening. You can't expect anyone to take it earnestly.

[Anonymous No.12799149]

>>12799119
What are you studying? Do you enjoy it?

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799169]

>>12799128
I care about people. Don’t lump me in with some pony shit

[Anonymous No.12799184]

>>12798774
We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children and deliver us from the poisoners of all peoples, international jewry and their lackeys, amen.

[Anonymous No.12799241]

if nihilism is true, why are people so triggered by it?

[Anonymous No.12799257]

>>12799184
It really is a modern religion.

But to worship a god that is you?

[Anonymous No.12799264]

>>12799241
self delusion maybe?

[Anonymous No.12799292]

I finished reading Watchmen and it was pretty neat. Reading is fun. People are missing out on interesting stories just because they aren't tv shows or movies.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799301]

>>12798817

Based off of an old Carlin gag.
The Earth birthed us only as a diuretic. Trapped deep inside was the Earth’s previous meals. All the plants and dinosaurs and such. It became a thick sticky smelly shit. And what do humans do when they first discover it seeping out some crack? We dig it up. We burn it, we mold it into plastic. We’ve assisted the Earth in taking a big shit.
Now we’re choking on the fumes and going to die off from it. The Earth is sighing with relief though. Good job humans

[Anonymous No.12799316]

I can't wait until I can finally end my own life. I'm just waiting for my mom to die before I can finally end it all without any worries.

[Anonymous No.12799324]

>>12799149
I'm studying political science with a minor in legal studies. While I thoroughly enjoy both subjects, I actually excel in my legal studies courses rather than my actual major.
>The school that I attend doesn't have a pre-law program so I made due.
I enjoy learning, I do not enjoy debt. Unless I absolutely murder the LSAT I have no chance at getting into a top tier law program- ergo accumulating the debt would be absolutely retarded.
>pic unrelated

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799346]

>>12798837
>worm moon
Fuck, it’s true. I saw a million dead worms on a sidewalk on the way to work this week

>>12799184
If humanity is to have any future, it will have to get over this happenstantial tribalism. Genetic tinkering will do even more to erase the differences than interbreeding. And we may move beyond conventional breeding if there is to be a future. We may do just as much integration as procreation.
You fret over the dumbest things.

>>12799316
That’s just dumb. Don’t go till you’re done. Please.

[Anonymous No.12799351]

I desperately want to make love to a man in a non-homo matter.

[Anonymous No.12799361]

>>12799351
faggot

[Anonymous No.12799366]

>>12799361
I'm not gay.

[Anonymous No.12799367]

If my modem says I'm online and my router is connected to my modem and it also says I'm online and my computer is connected to my router why does my computer say my router isn't connected to the internet?

[Anonymous No.12799381]

>>12799366
How could you possibly spin it in way that isn't gay.

[Anonymous No.12799388]

>>12799366
You're going to be happier when you quit denying your true self, anon.

[Anonymous No.12799394]

How much is too much? How little is too little? Am i truly serving God the way i am living now? Do i truly need to cut myself off from everyone and everything that could be an outlet for sin, and live as a monk? I am very fearful of God. Everything should be done in moderation, even in Ecclesiastes we are told not to be “overly righteous”; but where is the line drawn? I’m afraid i need to make drastic changes in my life, even though they don’t apparently seem sinful.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799407]

>>12799366
You’re bisexual then.

[Anonymous No.12799422]

>>12799346
My greatest dream right now is to commit suicide, actually. I don't want to die because of silly things like car accidents, I want to die by my own hands. And I want to do it soon while I'm still in my 20s.

[Anonymous No.12799425]

>>12799394
>Respond to His call with a generous YES!
The world needs more good and faithful priests, not monks!

[Anonymous No.12799427]

>>12799381
I don't know how it happened. Out of no where, yesterday, I stared at my ceiling and thought about these strange homoeroticisms and how if I were to do them, I wouldn't feel any pleasure, I'm not attracted to any man, it would be like kissing a sibling. Then, my brain started tormenting me with after images of folks I know and without a girlfriend I could fall back onto thinking to rid myself of these thoughts, I had to accept that punishment (possibly for being idle). When I would imagine a beautiful woman, I saw myself eating her in my mind, her skin was pale and unsightly with glossy eyes and an agape mouth that's dark inside, then my imagination would spin it towards a friend of mine also eating her alongside myself. I have no sexual attraction to this other person so I kissed him in the daydream and felt nothing, as expected, unlike the other guy I had originally thought of. There's no surefire way to describe why I was thinking about this. I'm repulsed by the idea of myself being a homosexual. I'm blaming Jewish brainwashing.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799429]

>>12799422
Why not wait till actual suffering happens, say in your 70s

[Anonymous No.12799474]

>>12799427
>I'm repulsed by the idea of myself being a homosexual.

Just write it off as a weird day-dream. You don't have to act on it.

[Anonymous No.12799489]

>>12799427
Really? You are making this sound like some life-changing horror story. People have impure thoughts all the time. We have always been that way. Just know its wrong and stupid and move on. No need to feel embarrassed or terrified, maybe just a little shame.

[Anonymous No.12799493]

>>12799429
I am actually suffering right now though. I don't think I can make it that far, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to. Can you imagine living as worthless garbage for 70 years and being perfectly fine with it? I'm not.

[Anonymous No.12799498]

This is a very unique platform, and I'd really like to get my thoughts out here bc I type much faster than I can write.

I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for many years, and I'd like to detail why I haven't actually followed through. This post will be stream of consciousness, as if I was writing in a journal. The subsequent > marks is to make it more readable and to help compile my thoughts.

>I don't want to face the fires of Hell for eternity.
>You know that your death would immeasurably impact your family. Ellie would fall apart. She's going to blame herself. you know what she's going to ask, "how could she have missed the signs? Was I so wrapped up in work I couldn't see what was unraveling in front of me? what kind of social worker can I be if I couldn't even help my brother from killing himself?"
>Mom is going to utterly collapse.
>Will my niece miss me? Will Jenn miss me? =

[Anonymous No.12799509]

>>12799498
>I don't want to hurt my college friends. I don't want to hurt Zachau- I don't want to hurt Alex. I don't want anyone to blame themselves thinking that they could have been more "available."
>Would the news reach Coach Kolon?
>Would the news reach Coach Tarnow?

[Anonymous No.12799523]

>>12798819
What country, if you don't mind me asking? Law school is soul-crushing in the U.S., and you must complete a 4 year degree at undergrad to even be eligible.

[Anonymous No.12799526]

>>12799422
yoooooo what's shakin' suicidal bro?
>I have a much different approach than you bc we attack the end goal differently. I actually want to die because of a car accident because it would lessen the strain on my family and friends. If I were to die at my own hands I feel like my loved ones would inevitably blame themselves. What are your thoughts, Chief?

[Anonymous No.12799529]

>>12799427
this is kind of hilarious lol ur a faggit

[Anonymous No.12799538]

>>12799529
No.
you know what? I blame nofap. I masturbated for the first time in a month and now I'm having homosexual thoughts. Must be a way to increase their numbers. I need a girlfriend now to undo the damage.

[Anonymous No.12799542]

>>12799538
that's right

blame everybody but yourself

[Anonymous No.12799543]

>>12799017
>Sex and love are two different things
Ah I see so this is the problem I was afraid we were having.

Can you please change your opinion of this? Not cool. This is a terribly prevalent problem in modern society, hence why you saw me mention women irl. The issue here is simple: we do not exist to have sex, rather, but to love. If we simply existed to have sex everything would be fleeting.

I know it must seem remarkable coming from me, even hypocritical, but do try to think about how this kills the passion of sex itself.

We will eventually be ready to consummate our relationship and I just want to make sure you are aware how terrible a loveless sex is. I’ve been there, done that. I think society is flawed in this way

:3

[Anonymous No.12799551]

No one cares. People live and then they die. Eventually, enough people will die such that your existence will be forgotten. Don't fret.

[Anonymous No.12799554]

this board is getting worse every day and I love it.

[Anonymous No.12799559]

>>12799538
I'm hammered, I can't tell if you're actually struggling with coming to terms that you're a sodomite or if you're trolling
>pic unrelated
>pic might be related

[Anonymous No.12799575]

>>12798853
This sounds fun, but are you not worried about its affects on your health?

[Anonymous No.12799588]

I'm literally drinking room temp beer talking to strangers about how I REALLY want to kill myself.

What a strange world we live in, dude.

[Anonymous No.12799594]

I finally got over my desire to kill myself. And to think it only took the unconditional support of my family, visiting about half a dozen doctors, using 3 different kinds of medication, a lot of willpower and a few years of my life.

[Anonymous No.12799596]

I’m obsessed with bonbibonkers

[Anonymous No.12799604]

>>12799594
There must have been a turning point, what happened?

[Anonymous No.12799608]

>>12799596
what the hell is a bonbibonker

[Anonymous No.12799619]

>>12799608
Tiktok weeb

[Anonymous No.12799621]

>>12799604
I realized that I have it better than most people on the planet and that I should be grateful. You have to endure the bad times and enjoy the good times because life is short as it is.

[Anonymous No.12799626]

>write big thing
>dreading it being bad
>suddenly think it's really good
>send it in confidently
>next day
>???? why did I think that was good if it's so bad?
>don't look at it, fearing cringe
>start rewriting it to send it in again with note saying "please ignore that earlier version and judge me on this instead"
>have to reread old version to use it for rewrite
>hey wtf it's actually really good, I was right
>next day
>wtf???? it's bad
>mfw

[Anonymous No.12799627]

>>12799608
I don’t watch anime. I don’t care about cosplay. I don’t like tiktoks. I live a normal life. And yet I have been totally and hopelessly ensnared

[Anonymous No.12799639]

I wonder if it would be comfy to fly in the fullback during long sorties.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799648]

>>12799493
Suffering how, anon?
What’s earin’ ya?

[Anonymous No.12799678]

>>12799000
am, am I (((((((((important)))))))) yet?

[Anonymous No.12799683]

>broke-machine.feel

Put two people in similar long term circumstances, and they can arrive at the same feelings, beliefs and thoughts. Environment (with genes) causes specific thought patterns. Environment causes thoughts. We choose our thoughts, the product of our identity and insight, except we don’t because it’s the environment. How seriously can we take our entire subjective world? How much can choose? Do we just sit back and watch it all unfold?

[Anonymous No.12799688]

Attack some kids when ya go downtown,
by throwin' some candy on the ground,
then grease 'em when they gather round
napalm sticks to kids!

Shootin' women's pretty fun,
try shootin' one that's pregnant, son
you'll get two for the price of one!
napalm sticks to kids!

[Anonymous No.12799727]

>>12799648
Asshole you choose to ignore my post. Listen: loveless sex is hell, trust me. You wouldn’t know ;_;

[Anonymous No.12799737]

FUCK FUCK FUCK ITS 3 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING WHEN WILL THE PANGS OF ANXIETY AND FEELINGS OG SELF-DOUBTS LEAVE AND LET ME SLEEP IN PEACE

[Anonymous No.12799746]

>>12799737
*gets in bed with you and stuffs niquil down your mouth*
Shh

[Anonymous No.12799752]

>>12799737
Where tf are you? Nova Scotia :3?

[Anonymous No.12799757]

>>12799752
I bet he's got a nice thick hairy chest.

[Anonymous No.12799758]

>>12799737
hey there big guy I'm off work tomorrow so y0u can succ my bel0w average cock

[Anonymous No.12799766]

>>12799758
>>12799757
Homos.

:3

Why tf is everyone turning gay? I converted a lesbian with this face

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oEULhtSEDhe No.12799791]

>>12799727
The love of friends who can do that is not loveless sex. Loveless sex is between prostitute and john, or unhappily married devout couples.
>change your opinions
No.
We all know you’re a joke. Please stop
>>12799766
Fucking moron

[Anonymous No.12799814]

>>12799791
>>12799791
>>12799791
>The love of friends who can do that is not loveless sex
This doesn’t make any sense. If I love you, you are more than a friend, silly.
>Loveless sex is between...
Anyone. Any two people who share no common bond of love between them. You seem convinced that your special example is more than loveless. You’re right. Which is why it shouldn’t be branded as friends. Simple as that. Image does not matter for love.
>No.
Then it’s going to be unconscious change. I can see how I’ve impacted you in various ways. I’ve been doing this with this board and various cultures/environments IRL. You impact everything around you. I’d be worried about it, if I were you: I’d want to have a good, positive impact.
>We all know you’re a joke. Please stop
No one really thinks I’m a joke, half the time you genuinely do flirt with me, I guess tonight is not your night? ;)
>Fuckig moron.
I win butterfly. Your logic fails you. Trust me, it would benefit you to brush against popular opinion every now and then. It’s not always correct.

Haha

[Anonymous No.12799819]

>>12799814
>>12799791
Oh yeah, we changed this board SIGNIFICANTLY. In the last week or so. Someone was making a thread about it

Food for thought

[Anonymous No.12799902]

>>12798837
This was a divine warning. In three days your dick will fall off.

[Anonymous No.12800014]

>>12798837
That's a nice picture of the moon. The moon is so serene and always calms me.

[Anonymous No.12800026]

>>12799791
A lesbian talking about love lmfao

[Anonymous No.12800030]

I bought an ereader with the justification that I can't sustain buying physical books due to cost, the fact that I live in a non-english speaking country so I have to buy all my books new, and that I live in a dorm so I don't necessarily have all that much space. E-readers are also much more convenient with built in lighting and comfort in the hand. But now I slightly regret getting one. It feels like it was just a frivolous impulsive purchase and a waste of money just to larp like some well-read intellectual.

I've also been trying to pry myself away from shallow, vacuous entertainment and similarly, technology as I feel like it has made me dumber. Despite that, I bought this. I feel stupid. Reading should just be you and the material with as little barriers or distractions as possible.

I wish I wasn't so insecure and wouldn't second guess myself so much. My opinion on many things change on almost a weekly basis. I guess I'm just a brainlet.

[Anonymous No.12800105]

I want to take more walks around my nice small town, and I enjoy reading outdoors. What is the easiest, least faggy way to carry a large unwieldy book around between places of interest on foot? I've got a cloth bag or a backpack, but those seem too large to carry a book and nothing else in. Suggestions? My last resort is to just park near where I want to read, get through some pages, then put it back into the car and walk my circuit.

[Anonymous No.12800126]

>>12800105
you can literally carry it in your hand as you walk
bet you didn't think of that

[Anonymous No.12800184]

>>12800126
>unwieldy
I'm not walking an hour with a large paperback or a brittle old hardcover in my hand just because you skimmed so you could imply I'm dumb, Anon. At least give an actual suggestion or move on, I don't need the (you)s tonight, just suggestions.

[Anonymous No.12800306]

What is love?
I think I am not able to feel love.
I tell my gf i love her, but don't even know what that means.
Because I know she's just the means to the end of children and a stable life.
I know the fleeting "love" when meeting someone new, but am aware that that's just sexual in nature.
I do not love my family.
They are simply there.
The only reasons I value them is because they support me financially and give my life an anchor.
For now.
How can I live my life without love or even passion?
Am I just a shallow shell?

[Anonymous No.12800340]

>>12800306
Sadly you are like many. For whatever reason America systematically kills love. If you find love, and you and someone else ‘love’ you, then just don’t let go, hold on.

Again I honestly don’t know if this is possible for homosexuals, Love is completely something more than a chemical reaction in the brain, it is a feeling of existential fulfillment from the opposite gender
:3

[Anonymous No.12800342]

>>12800306
Menschen sind irrelevant,
Sie existieren halt.
Das Leben ist unintressant,
Wie eine Straße aus Asphalt.
Mit einem klaren Ziel,
Und ohne scharfe Kurven.
Und ist es doch ein Spiel,
So bleibt der Sinn verborgen.

[Anonymous No.12800358]

>>12800340
It's not just America. See my problem is that I do not even know what love is supposed to be. Maybe it's just a giant hoax, people reassure each other to feel better.

But what could it possibly be, if not a chemical reaction?
If love does exist, I think homosexuality can love. It's just that they don't seek it because they don't need it. For homosexuals relationships always stay the way they are for a teenager in puberty. There just is no need for long term involvement.

[Anonymous No.12800362]

you're all stupid and gay. this board is so fucking stupid

[Anonymous No.12800378]

>>12799526
Personally I don't care about the feelings of the living after I die. Maybe I'm taking a more hedonistic approach because to me committing suicide seems like such a great pleasure. Why do you want to commit suicide?
>>12799648
I despise myself, my identity, and I want to throw it all away. I hate my very own core and it's hell living as myself. Unlike having no friends or gf, this is something that's either difficult to fix or is completely unfixable. Living as myself everyday is my own personal hell.

[Anonymous No.12800387]

honestly, I'm disappointed that the poos didn't blow each other up over hindu kush. now T series is going to win and basically that's fucking retarded like everything else poo people are responsible for.

[Anonymous No.12800417]

Meaning is for some and not for others. All these philosophies, ideologies, all kinds of bullshit to make sense of existence, whatever sense they make it's not meant to be taken globally but only by a select minority born of fortunate circumstances. You need high IQ, good looks, and a strong healthy body to find existence worthwhile. Otherwise, your only choices are either hedonism or nihilism. You can find enlightenment too, but enlightenment is worthless. That middle-aged tanned welder who you always assumed to be beneath you is just as enlightened as Buddha, and he's definitely not happy. Most people can't be happy.

[Anonymous No.12800419]

Almost done with Dyson's book, Turing's Cathedral. The death of Alan Turing has always struck me as one of the grossest injustices of history. What lesson can be learned from it - that you can win a war for them, and they'll still kill you, after, when they no longer need you. So see that they continue to need you. So never reveal yourself. Live in liminal space. Act the part. The desire for a genuine life is incompatible with the desire to survive. Let me confine myself entirely to allegorical prose for the expression of love - the serene light in which I glimpsed the face of God. Another life, perhaps.

[Anonymous No.12800423]

>>12800419
You equate yourself to Turing?

[Anonymous No.12800430]

>>12799543
>>12799766
>>12799814

....

[Anonymous No.12800434]

>>12800423

Equal in homosexuality.

[Anonymous No.12800438]

>>12800434
Turing wasn't even gay. It was a black op to smear his name, allowing for his execution to be more agreeable within the populace. Memetics have already been present for 2 centuries, and now that the general population has finally been given access to them, well, you can imagine where we're at.

[Anonymous No.12800449]

>>12800419
Abandon the desire for life in itself, serve only God and praise the Divine.

[Anonymous No.12800454]

>>12800438

He was arrested because he reported a burglary at his place of residence, which he shared with his lover. He had assumed that his status would protect him and that the police would help. Von Neumann, Oppenheimer and the rest were all far less naive in their dealings with authority; Strauss engineered Oppenheimer's public disgrace, nonetheless. Perhaps you meant Oppenheimer, and are not an entirely delusional faggot snorting pure ideology off the diseased buttocks of the dead prostitute that represents the intellectual state of /pol/.

[Anonymous No.12800459]

>>12800454
>snorting pure ideology off the diseased buttocks of the dead prostitute that represents the intellectual state of /pol/

Nice metaphor. B-

[Anonymous No.12800465]

>>12798994
This is simply spirituality without rules. Abandon your weakness. God doesn't ask the impossible, just your best.

[Anonymous No.12800473]

The mundane is becoming the absurd, or I am?

[Anonymous No.12800479]

>>12800430
Because I’m trying to guide someone through this. My advice works.

I declined a FWB relationship in real life with a girl I was dating last year for these reasons. It’s important she knows why my stance was this.

[Anonymous No.12800482]

>>12800479
I’m still :3 ofc, but this reminder is merely unnecessary, because if she followed the comment chain she’d see it was me

[Anonymous No.12800493]

I have an exam in ~2 hours. I just wish to get over with it so I can return to reading.

[Anonymous No.12800497]

am i a cuck if i've changed classes just to avoid this really cute girl i like because i know i won't have any chance with her?

[Anonymous No.12800499]

>>12800497
HM, why? Is she being an asshole to you? :3

[Anonymous No.12800508]

>>12800482
>>12800479

;3c

[Anonymous No.12800510]

>>12800499
why does your :3 makes me so uncomfortable? a-anon don't be in my f-face so much... i'm shy.
anyway, no, i haven't ever talked to her, she doesn't even know me, i doubt she has even looked at me. but i have this problem you know, i fall in love with cute girls without ever interacting with them, Dante style. of course, i'm pathetic and ugly so they never even look at me so i don't approach (i only approach girls that show some minimal interest, and, of course, that has never worked)

[Anonymous No.12800511]

>>12800497
Yes. You should have said something extremely embarrassing to her, thinking you'd be rejected with "oh I'm trying to focus on my studies right now" or "I already have a boyfriend", but instead get a deer-eyed look of disgust mixed with incomprehension, before muttering something unintelligble then scattering away like a cockroach, spending the rest of your life reading "deep" visual novels written in elementary school level Japanese while NEETing it up at home, lying in bed every night unable to sleep through the memories of that day as your life and everything within it slowly withers away.

[Anonymous No.12800524]

>>12800511
i've experienced all that before except the light novel thing. i don't read this kind of trash, lately i only read Russian symbolism.

[Anonymous No.12800528]

>>12798774
Started drinking again. The past week where I lay bedridden will be the longest period without drink this year. I wonder if it's too early for taking my lunch break. My cough apparently still sounds like I will be taking it to my grave. Even on the telephone. Spring is starting to show. I could go to the old jewish cemetery this weekend and walk among the stones. I remember now taking a girl to Mozart's grave once. In the corner of the graveyard's walls lay motorist's trash from the highway bridge above strewn around, plastic bags hung from the trees. This was thirteen months ago. Maybe the place looks better in spring and colorful green.

[Anonymous No.12800530]

>>12800524
How do you read symbolism?

[Anonymous No.12800536]

“futility is what gives life meaning”
What philosophy does this prescribe to?

[Anonymous No.12800537]

>>12800530
by reading alexander blok, andrei bely, soloyov etc. it's good shit, anon

[Anonymous No.12800539]

>>12800508
Dawwww

She’s very cute. Look at that poem she posted in here earlier. She was giving advice also earlier. I was sleeping all day yesterday and talking to ppl so I couldn’t
>>12800510
This isn’t healthy. I don’t ever do this nor would I recommend anyone ever do it as it doesn’t make any sense. ‘Love at first site’ is an issue within society. It’s in our very fabric of morality. Any sort of meaningful love or relationship is done over a long period of time (and if anything meaningful is to be had with butterfly, then I might be the cloud), all you have to do is stop falling in Love at first site. Start getting to know people over a long period of time. Life is much more than looks, it’s about spirit

[Anonymous No.12800553]

>>12800539
i know anon, i'm working on changing it, and it's really hard. it's the default mode i've been operating on sice i was born. i was always avoidant.

[Anonymous No.12800556]

>>12800539
Meta-analytics have concluded that looks are the greatest marker of personality. Being able to judge a mate's value at a glance is crucial to the survival of a species. If it really took that long, we would not have survived.

[Anonymous No.12800563]

>>12800553
Exactly. It’s the mode everyone operates on because it is extremely childish. Looks don’t matter as much as shared interests, intelligence, or even personality. Hence why this poster
(>>12800556) is actually advocating for something extremely childish with his stupid social Darwin horseshit

[Anonymous No.12800571]

>>12800563
Unlike you, I am not an advocate. I am simply relying on data extracted from reality rather than fantasies from my own head. Coincidentally, looks are heavily correlated with intelligence, which is of course heavily correlated with personality and interests. Obviously there are outliers, but looks are still overwhelmingly the best indicator of a mate's value and disregarding them is throwing away the best tool you have.

[Anonymous No.12800637]

I guess I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact that despite having one or two Good Qualities that briefly endear me to others, I am a fundamentally unloveable human being. Reading The Book of Disquiet was like being given a vision of my own inevitable future. I should not have been born, and yet I was, and now I've got another fifty years or so of rattling around in this suit of flesh to endure.

I don't think people like me are capable of sustained happiness - joy is too much, painful in intensity and fleeting. I hope only to be at peace, and to continue to distract myself from my inadequacy as a human being by incrementally improving this repulsive mind.

[Anonymous No.12800657]

>>12800637
nah dude, you're deeply in love with yourself (thus, not unlovable) and this whole "wahh i will forever be le saad :( and like i wont even kill myself y'know, i'll endure 70 years of meek acceptance towards the void till i die in burning pain haha" is just a farce, an act, in fact, you love being miserable and you know that if you take the steps to change yourself you'll be in more pain than ever because you won't have the all too familiar ennui to pass the days on. you are simply pathetic and need to learn how to break through the void that lies between "le depression" and the start of a decent life

[Anonymous No.12800673]

>>12800637
Why not just kill yourself? For me, suicide seems like the greatest joy!

[Anonymous No.12800683]

>>12800673
Because to kill myself would mean I was escaping the suffering. Why allow the creature to escape?

[Anonymous No.12800684]

what is on your mind

[Anonymous No.12800685]

>>12800683
Why not?

[Anonymous No.12800702]

>>12800362
*shoves you*
heh.... you just fucked with the wrong literature board, kiddo

[Anonymous No.12800760]

>>12800571
>he derives his social data from statistics
This is why you’re stupid

[Anonymous No.12800799]

>>12800637
Let me guess, your two "Good Qualities" being extremely intelligent and good looking, big dicked maybe?

[Anonymous No.12800808]

Is it ADHD if my mind wanders constantly during class? I don't think so, but asking to be sure.

[Anonymous No.12800842]

>>12800808
want to know this as well. i NEVER pay attention to what the professors are saying. basically never. i just focus on a fact or two then i get home and search for a book on the topic or a youtube video if it's simple enough. i do this since high school and i can safely say i haven't learned a single thing from school/college, teachers are simply useless to me because i can't pay attention to them.

[Anonymous No.12800856]

>>12799523
Brazil. But most countries have Law as an underground, it's only in The anglosphere that you have this weird system. Germany, Portugal, Spain, Italy, France, all of South America are the same. Another good point is that it was free, so I don't have debts to worry about.

[Anonymous No.12800874]

Isn't it strange my life experience is distinct enough to be unrelatable to most people and yet not sufficiently different to be something to write about.

[Anonymous No.12800906]

neet life, the neat life

[Anonymous No.12800925]

NZ appears to be going full retard with the virtue signalling rn. Like I get it but just having non muslim women wear hijabs half assedly and cops going to some muslim reading thing theyll never care about just seems stupid. And their gun laws already seemed pretty agreeable.

[Anonymous No.12800946]

>>12800637
It's strange, The Book of Disquiet made me embrace people a lot more than I already did. Don't know how the fuck you guys interpret that book to end up being such a cunt.

[Anonymous No.12800964]

This thread was moved to >>>/r9k/51563114