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/lit/ - Literature

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995143 No.995143 [Reply] [Original]

>Go to Borders

>Walk up to pay for my things.

> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

>I jokingly say that I hate kids, but still I donate a couple of dollars.

>She gives me a malicious look

>Leave Borders in shame

FUCKING BORDERS

>> No.995150

>inb4 bitches and spawn

>> No.995154

FUCKING BORDERS

>> No.995158

Hey fellow /v/ user! What's up? Oh, and by the way, this is what was KILLING /v/ for the longest time, so please never do it again.

>> No.995164

>Go to Borders

>Have no money

>Leave Borders

FUCKING BORDERS

also poverty

>> No.995169

>>995158

Go back to /v/.

Your kind is not welcome here.

>> No.995189

>Go to borders
>Walk up to pay for Lolita
>Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>Sees my book
>Leave borders in shame

>> No.995195

What pisses me off is when they ask you to donate a book to children's charity.

Mother fuckers have the books for wholesale. I need to pay retail to donate it? Fucking scam. I don't see them donating shit... just selling books.

>> No.995199

>>995189
what's wrong with lolita

>> No.995204

>>995169

The point is that he is just copy-pasting this format from /v/ and it should not be brought here.

Also, fuck you, I probably read more than you do, seeing as you appear to be an elitist who thinks that reading is only for those who do nothing but reading. This also makes you a hipster, so you can doubly fuck off.

>> No.995215

>>995189


You really should have said "After I'm done, some children will be "donated" there, does that count?"

>> No.995218

>>995204

This Borders thread has been a staple of /lit/ since its inception. It's idiotic, but hey most threads are.

And I highly doubt that you read anything other than Halo fanfics and the occasional Sci-Fi novel.

So why don't you go back to /v/ and talk about that new game that just came out.

>> No.995232

>>995218 Borders thread has been a staple of /lit/ since its inception

lol bullshit. Nice try, kiddo.

>> No.995240

>>995215

That doesn't even make sense.

>> No.995242

>>995232

Ummmm.....second what he said.

This has been on /lit/ for quite some time now.

I really wish they would go away though.

>> No.995284

>>995232
The borders thing came up about a week after /lit/ was created.

>> No.995903
File: 95 KB, 558x390, rage.boy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
995903

>Go to Borders.
>Buy a book at Borders.
>Reading book.
>SECURITY DEVICE IN FUCKING BOOK
>my face

>> No.995913

>>995903
is it really that much of a hassle to peel it off and go on with your life?

>> No.995920

I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE OF THESE FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

FUCKING BORDERS

I DID IT WRONG :(

FUCKING BORDERS

>> No.995927

>>995218
I'm not the person you were addressing, but I find your pretension highly amusing.

>> No.995940

Greentext threads are shit, if you've got a story to tell at least make the effort to tell it properly.

>fructifient butane

>> No.995950

>>995913

Something about it just peeves the shit out of me.

>> No.995990

>Go to Borders

>Walk up to pay for my things.

> Dude at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

>I jokingly say that I rape kids, but still I donate a couple of dollars.

>He gives me a high five

>Cashier was Gary Glitter

>> No.996031

>Go to Books-a-Million
>Buy two paper back books and a graphic novel
>Total is nearly $50
>WTF
>Go back to buying from Amazon

>> No.996051

>Go to Borders

>Walk up to the counter

>Start dry-humping a shelf.

>Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

>ejaculate

>> No.996054

>>995990

i lol

>> No.996171

>Go to Borders
>Your Mum is a cunt

Fucking BORDERS!!

>> No.996183

>>995990
very funny.

>> No.997417

>Go to Borders

>Read magazines and look at a picture book

> Get hungry

>Leave Borders in shame

>Go to Taco Bell

>Buy 4 chicken burritos

> Lady at the counter asks me if I want some sauce.

>I say I want sauce for nude Emma Watson pics and gore gifs

>She gives me a malicious look

>> No.997434
File: 47 KB, 610x459, 1275585458188.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997434

>shop online
>find everything I could possibly look for from the comfort of my own home
>no interation with other people
>cheaper than buying from a store
>free shipping

>> No.997442

FUCKING BORDERS

how do they work

>> No.997447

>>997434
this

shit is pretty cash.

>> No.997453

>>997434

You forgot to put:

<has no friends or girlfriend to speak of because sits inside all day ordering online so don't have to talk to people

>> No.997457

>>997453

You forgot to put:

>Can't greentext lol

>> No.997459

>>997453
>implying you know how to greentext

>> No.997467

>Go to borders
>Walk up to pay for A Simple Plan
>Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>I say that I'm not into take-out.
>Leave borders

>> No.997478

>go to local library
>look for Satan's tentacle lust
>ask the librarian about it
>she gives a malicious look
>leave library with a boner

FUCKING BORDERS

>> No.997489
File: 23 KB, 640x220, foxlicking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997489

>go to borders
>see 'bibles' section
>move the bible into fiction section

>i'm a badass

>> No.997513

>Walk into Borders
>Walk to counter to pay for things
>Lady at counter asks if I want to donate money for berries and honey
>she's a fucking bear
>walk out with bear-hunting book

FUCKING BEARDERS

>> No.997522

>>997489
how edgy
seriously that's not even funny

>> No.997539

>>997489
There are douchebags who actually do shit like this. I remember one group thought they were pretty punx by moving 1984 into non-fiction.

>> No.997554
File: 28 KB, 300x300, miley 2010 yearbook.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997554

>Go to Borders in cum stained shirt

>Walk up to pay for Miley Cyrus book.

> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

>I stare at her breasts and tell her she is nice to me

>She gives me a malicious look

>> No.997563

>Go to Borders

>Walk up to pay for my things.

> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

>I ask if there's any chance of me eating her pussy

>She gives me a malicious look

>Leave Borders, erectile

>> No.997609
File: 10 KB, 320x240, 0_61_harry_potter_7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997609

>go to borders
>see fantasy section
>move the Harry Potter into the non-fiction section
>get caught by the lady working there
>avada kadavra
>i'm a fucking wizard

>> No.997615

>>997563
>>997554
Seriously, what are you guys doing? Have you /ever/ approached a woman before? That's not something you'd say in a normal situation.
Make it believable, or get out.

>> No.997617

>Go to Borders

>/lit/ gives me a malicious look

>> No.997626

>Go to Borders
>Walk up to pay for my things.
> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>Ask if the donations are tax deductible
>She gives me no answers
>Leave Borders with a troll face

>> No.997629
File: 13 KB, 700x327, 1276921372812.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997629

>Another Borders thread
you people

>> No.997645

>>997615

That's the whole joke, it's totally unbelievable.

>> No.997659

>Go to Borders

>Walk up to pay for my things.

> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital

> RAPE

>She gives me a malicious look

>Leave Borders in shame

>> No.997683

>Go to Borders
>Walk up to pay for my things.
> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>Lick each individual quarter with a sexy moan as I place the two dollar donation on the counter.
>She gives me the look
>Leave Borders knowing I'd done good

>> No.997695

>walk into Borders
>go to philosophy section
>there are three girls there
>make a few remarks, but don't really engage them in conversation because I'm an anti-social retard
>leave Borders in shame

FUCKING NERVES

>> No.997711

>>997434

You're obviously fat and unattractive.

Which is why you refuse to go to Borderrs and interact with people, life.

FUCKING BORDERS I LOVE YOU

But seriously, I suspect you're fat and ugly.

>> No.997725

>>997711
just because someone shops online doesn't mean they're fat and ugly
i shop online for books all the time and i'm slender and beautiful

>> No.997732

>>997695
what's in a borders' philosophy section anyway. genuinely curious

>> No.997738

>>997725
you'd be stronger if you listen to mommy and go out more.

>> No.997737

>Go to borders
>One shelf of philosophy books
>Half of them "The Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance" or "The philosophy of Dragon Ball Z"
>take a shit in their urinals

>> No.997734 [SPOILER] 
File: 54 KB, 470x352, CWSCENE3b-470x352.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997734

Why are you ashamed for hating children. Soylent Veal!

>> No.997736
File: 7 KB, 184x184, 1280377241013.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997736

>>997725

>> No.997742

>Go to Borders
>Walk up to pay for my things.
> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>RAPE
>She gives me a malicious look
>Leave Borders in GLORY

>> No.997745

>>997737

I would truly consider doing just this.

>> No.997747

Mikael is beautiful.

>> No.997749

>>997738
i don't think my mom likes when i leave the house i can't drive either and the last time i left the house for a bike ride we got in a bit of an argument because i didn't want to wear a helmet and she wanted me to but in the end i won and did it myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

>> No.997751

>Try to cross into America to feed my children and my beautiful wife Guadalupe.

>Reach the Nogales crossing

>Almost there

>Get tackled by a Border Patrol agent and sent back to my home country.

FUCKING BORDERS

>> No.997766

>>997732

Well, there's the classics like descartes, Kant, Hegel, and stuff like that. They also have modern and post modern philosophers like Heidegger or Zizek. There are some Philosophy and (insert popular movie/videogame/comic book). There are some pop philosophy books like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Some stores have better selections than others. Also, in my Borders at least, Philosophy has been merged with Linguistics.

>> No.997763

i mean i remember that they either had a lame selection of his or just one book or something or nothing at all i was like the fuckkkk

>> No.997760

also i go to barnes and noble if i go to bookstores now because last time i was at borders they had like nothing of dreiser that i wanted, if anything, i think i can't remember exactly but i remember that

>> No.997777

>Go to Borders
>Walk up to pay for my things.
> Lady at the counter asks me if I want to donate some money to a children hospital
>I drop a deuce
>She gives me a malicious look
>Leave Borders emptier than before

>> No.997800

>The Philosophy of Twilight

You know it's coming...

>> No.997806
File: 53 KB, 300x452, 0470484233.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
997806

>>997800

>> No.997815

All joking aside, I hate this bullshit. Petty emotional blackmail from your cashier? Step right up to register 5!

I don''t care how good the cause is, they are getting squat from me. Put a goddamn jar out for your 'cause' and leave it at that.

Same with the goddamn firemen at the bottom of the off-ramp. Not only are they technically panhandling, which last I checked is illegal, they are holding up fucking traffic. I FFFFFFFFUUUUU in rage while the idiot ahead of me digs for quarters for 2 minutes after the signal's turned. Guess who gets evil stares when he leans on his horn as a not so subtle hint?

/rant

>> No.997835

>>997806
I didn't even want to google it.

>> No.997838

>> shop at a bookstore you dislike
>> willingly give them money in exchange for goods
>> bitch about it on the internet

>> No.997848

>>997838

I actually love Borders.

>> No.998914

>>995143
Fuck Borders. Their shit is overpriced and I hope they all die.

Do note that it can be legally cited as harassment if they try to put you through a guilt-trip for ANYTHING to do with voluntary donations. Tell them if they care so much to fucking donate themselves and leave you the fuck alone. And you can seriously sue if they don't leave you alone. Borders is the worst about it because A) the employees are all fucking hipster asshats B) Borders is a fucking PC piece of shit overpricing establishment that likes to donate so they look good.