write what's on your mind

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Anonymous Wed Jul 5 19:39:31 2017 No.9720358 [Reply] [Original]

write what's on your mind

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 19:47:21 2017 No.9720385 >>9720358 I regret going to that shitty fourth of July party because of how tired I was in the morning so much so that I skipped French class.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 19:50:33 2017 No.9720393 >>9720358 Glenjamin Gould was a God

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 19:52:41 2017 No.9720400

>>9720358
why do people live in filth? why is casual talk about suicide more common? why is it we liked to make ourselves out to have more miserable lives than others, just to make ourselves seem justified when we piss and moan? why is it we feel some pride for a messy workspace and bedroom? do we really trick ourselves into thinking we live busy lives?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:02:42 2017 No.9720435 >tfw no Jewish gf

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:07:20 2017 No.9720454 >tfw no gf

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:07:42 2017 No.9720456 >>9720400 who's this "we"? just because you naturally gravitate to emo little shits

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:12:46 2017 No.9720473 File: 131 KB, 750x1334, 961b85ecb46b48149007c0184ae68ea0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720435 >tfw no big tittied Jewish gf seriously why even live brehs

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:14:13 2017 No.9720479 >>9720473 >posts about jews >posts girl making italian photoface sort out your ethnic groups nerd

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:17:13 2017 No.9720494 >>9720479 >that nose >italian

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:22:00 2017 No.9720503 File: 198 KB, 818x640, b49bd4e3c7fbfbaff8354eefa85ef0d3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720494 >he doesn't know what a "roman nose" looks like kys?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:24:10 2017 No.9720515 HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHHAAHAHHA >>>/tv/84649407

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:25:38 2017 No.9720521 >>9720503 I just posted her because that little sliver of belly at the bottom of the pic makes me rock hard anyone else?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:26:22 2017 No.9720524 >>9720521 i know but i'm saying if u want to post a jewish chick don't get one that's trying to ape an italian

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:28:17 2017 No.9720532 >>9720456 >naturally gravitate to emo little shits can you try better than that? do you not interact with people? is this a local thing for me, to hear people talk about this kind of stuff?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:29:30 2017 No.9720537 File: 55 KB, 540x720, 1489992854151.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720524 what about this one

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:30:35 2017 No.9720542

>>9720532
the only time i hear people whining is on 4chan, if you leave your mom's basement you'll see most people aren't whiney shutins, although you can always find some on campus, just find the stoners who wear old military jackets despite being 100 pounds and green party supporters etc. you can sit around all day and bitch about how capitalism isn't fair and trump sucks and whatever

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:31:36 2017 No.9720548 >>9720537 why'd she die her hair blonde though if she's so proud of being jewish?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:34:16 2017 No.9720559 >>9720548 maybe she's not proud maybe her dad got her that necklace for hanukkah and so she felt like she had to wear it during their weekly skype chat and that's a screenshot from it

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:39:08 2017 No.9720579 whats on your mind

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:43:19 2017 No.9720593

I am a pathetic piece of shit. Everyday I wake up and I say "this day will be different, this is the day of change. I'll pratice the violin, read books, study math and french and won't waste my time on stupid activities like videogames or internet". The day goes on, I waste all my time on anime, games and the internet and then I go to sleep promising that the next day will be different. I'll never be something in my life, will I? I'll never change, will I? I am a pathetic piece of shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:43:49 2017 No.9720596 >>9720579 Texas rules of evidence 103.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:44:35 2017 No.9720599 >>9720593 >getting memed by "prestige" activities Way to broadcast yourself as middle class loool

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:45:16 2017 No.9720604 How do you expect me to write on something intangible?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:45:18 2017 No.9720605 >>9720593 >I'll pratice the violin lol, even if u actually did that u still wouldn't amount to anything because no one cares

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:47:52 2017 No.9720616 >>9720605 >he thinks doing things for others and showing off is what matters >implying he shouldn't keep practicing the violin so he can enjoy the fulfillment of learning a musical instrument Unironically commit suicide, my dude.

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:49:08 2017 No.9720621

>>9720616
but if he was doing it for himself he would have already done it, the fact that he's procrastinating on it means he's doing it for other people, no one procrastinates on shitposting and playing video games because those are you things you do for yourself

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:50:32 2017 No.9720628

>>9720621
>but if he was doing it for himself he would have already done it, the fact that he's procrastinating on it means he's doing it for other people
Are you seriously retarded? He's not doing it because it requires more a lot more effort than shitposting and playing video games.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:51:56 2017 No.9720637 >>9720621 You're not wrong

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:52:58 2017 No.9720641 >>9720599 wew

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:55:38 2017 No.9720653

>>9720628
>He's not doing it because it requires more a lot more effort than shitposting and playing video games.

that's exactly right, he tells himself he'll practice tomorrow, this way he can be a french speaking violin player who's mastered the classics or w/e while shitposting his life away just like everyone else, come u think we don't all know these kind of weak tricks to fool oneself around these parts?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:55:56 2017 No.9720654 >>9720559 why does everyone always ignore my best work?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:58:30 2017 No.9720668 >tfw you don't even realize that your goal of becoming a french speaking violin player who's mastered the classics is just an embarrassing, deeply subconscious strategy for fucking stacey kill yourself seriously

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 20:59:31 2017 No.9720671 >>9720668 This is a good point too.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:00:42 2017 No.9720676 >>9720654 cuz no one skypes with their dad in the kind of bikini top, although maybe jews do since freud had some ideas about this stuff in his community

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:02:59 2017 No.9720682 >>9720676 >cuz no one skypes with their dad in the kind of bikini top But it's exciting to think about like what if she does do that?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:03:11 2017 No.9720684 >>9720593 faggot

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:04:25 2017 No.9720687 I think I'm an alcoholic slowly but surely slipping out of the middle class despite (because?) obtaining greater and greater educational certifications.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:05:56 2017 No.9720690 >>9720684 >tfw you expect people to write positive messages about how can do it >tfw all comments just confirm that you're a pathetic piece of shit

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:07:54 2017 No.9720700 >>9720690 Seek Christ.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:08:22 2017 No.9720701 I spend so much time on the internet I wish I knew how to find communities that I enjoyed and how to make friends online.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:08:27 2017 No.9720702 >>9720690 >tfw your posting is just a jewish strategy for emotionally manipulating pity out of people >tfw you don't get it so you double down

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:10:30 2017 No.9720706

>>9720690
it's because all your hobbies reeked of "low life shitbag who wants to seem cultured but just can't get his ass up off the couch"

instead of all those transparent bogus hobbies why don't you just do a literature degree at a halfway decent school then you can finally prove to the world you're not a total piece of shit

then when you say

>hur dur going into debt to have a sjw professor judge me for being a white male derp derp

we can all smugly laugh

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:14:14 2017 No.9720714 File: 80 KB, 1024x683, thebigjp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720593 Just go on long walks so that even if you don't do a "prestige activity" you can at least do something to feel proud of at the end of the day. And clean your room.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:14:15 2017 No.9720715 >>9720706 >telling a lazy slob to go to uni he life already seems rekt why ruin him completely

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:36:59 2017 No.9720793 File: 111 KB, 409x409, 1499286292949.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I plan on moving away by year's end.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:52:32 2017 No.9720852 The immigrants to Europe should be aggressively proselytized to. It angers me that nobody with any authority seems to think this.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:56:43 2017 No.9720868 >>9720852 What's the point of letting them in just to bully them? It won't work anyways so why not just keep them out

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:57:56 2017 No.9720874 >>9720542 >the only time i hear people whining is on 4chan bullshit, you must not have a job, or no social interactions >you can sit around all day and bitch about how capitalism isn't fair and trump sucks and whatever your ideology is showing

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 21:59:55 2017 No.9720884 >>9720868 >introducing them to the true Word of God, the Living Word >bullying

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:06:39 2017 No.9720910

>>9720884

Wow, so you're even dumber than I thought. congrats.

Also the real answer to your original post is that no one with authority thinks your suggestion is good because it literally combines the worst of all possible solutions.

The conservative would be unhappy because you are letting them in.
The liberals would be unhappy because you aren't respecting their culture/diversity.
The immigrants would be unhappy because they have to put up with your infuriating christ cucking.

Besides, what's stopping them from just telling you to fuck off?
Just how far are you willing to go to spread the word of god? Just how aggressive of a proselyte are you?
Are you willing to bust a few caps?
My guess is not, so just shut the fuck up.

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:16:41 2017 No.9720941

I'm sorry I didn't message you right away that night. I was pretty scared you'd run away again. I feel ashamed that every time you go to bed I try to get my energy back by doing things I enjoy while knowing you're probably suffering and unable to sleep, because during the day I get stressed trying to support you. I try my best to say genuine things to cheer you up but I've spouted bullshit a couple of times because I've never had to do this before for anybody. I'm always like a fucking cat that will just come around when it wants to get affection, but I'm concerned for your well-being. Today I doubted how much I know you and if I've done a good job considering not even a month has passed. Going to Italy is a mistake. Dropping out too. I agree, your family sounds like a bunch of wankers. I'm sad I didn't get to eat the cheesecake you made. I want to fuck your depressed butt.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:20:08 2017 No.9720963 >>9720941 You have to be 18 to post here.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:32:31 2017 No.9720988 File: 499 KB, 500x290, 1498932344678.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720537

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:32:32 2017 No.9720989

I finally fell in love but god it's so embarrassing. Maybe I'm too awkward or autistic for love or something. I'm on cloud 9 every second I'm with them but the second I'm alone I agonize over every stupid thing I've done and said in their presence and how terrible they must think I am

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:33:45 2017 No.9720991 >>9720852 >europeans >christian theyre all liberal, degenerate pagans

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 22:52:47 2017 No.9721064 ....what's on your mind Write what's on your mind... [Feel amused by funny crying stick figure pic]

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 23:29:43 2017 No.9721149 I finally lost my virginity today after i went to a date Not sure how to feel about it

Anonymous Wed Jul 5 23:45:14 2017 No.9721193
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>>9720358
i don't want to create a thread for this, and no one on my tiny friend list would care to hear this, so...
i just finished the great gatsby and i'm astonished, its by far the best book i've read, its so simple but at the same time so meaningful, i've involuntarily close read through the whole book and couldn't put it down until i've finished

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 23:54:10 2017 No.9721220 >>9720989 Yeah it's like that

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 23:55:43 2017 No.9721225 Bourbon (Blanton's, to be more specific).

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 5 23:56:36 2017 No.9721227 >>9720989 are you loving how many people at the same time?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 00:01:25 2017 No.9721243 i wish i didnt start drinking when i was 13

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 03:22:41 2017 No.9721574

i just played a video game on got on the steam sale for 99 cents for like 3 hours, it was p fun but by the end a horrible depression and self loathing kicked in and i had to stop...now if i only i could get that same feeling from shitposting on 4chan i met get something productive done

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 03:56:23 2017 No.9721633 /o/ is secretly one of the best boards on 4chan, I just hope it remains secret and doesn't become a meme like /k/ has.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 04:18:39 2017 No.9721675 >>9721633 ssshhhhhh

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 04:19:46 2017 No.9721677 >>9720358 I want to die and I don't know how to stop wanting to die

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 04:27:26 2017 No.9721684

>>9720400
I can speak to the suicide and depression talk, people have been brought up in a culture where being a victim grants you the floor in social settings for attention. Claiming to have certain mental issues opens up a lot of dialogue and has made a very serious issue into a trivial one, because of the amount of people using it for attention. Like in 'Oblomov' they talk about how someone without real problems creates mental problems so as to have some drama or to fulfil some mental emotional need. People who are actually struggling in third world countries that have to work full time doing some shitty job for 1 dollar a day aren't complaining about mental illness at anywhere near the same rate as westerners because we have too much freedom and comfort has made us weak minded.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 05:38:47 2017 No.9721778 >post well thought out response in interesting thread >go to bed excited for all the replies youll get >deleted >this isnt GOD FUCKING

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 06:45:27 2017 No.9721882 File: 310 KB, 1024x768, cfca8556c42a04015553918e835cfdb9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I wonder when my maps will arrive, they are "out for delivery", so I can begin planning my hike in earnest.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 06:55:42 2017 No.9721895 I have no real interesting in fashion but I recently started browsing /fa/ out of curiosity. Interesting board.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 06:59:15 2017 No.9721902 File: 59 KB, 1200x675, CqcN_jlW8AAFVHX.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Sometimes I wish I could write some stories that are more positive. I don't like being a cynical pessimist, it's not an admirable trait.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 07:09:08 2017 No.9721915

>>9720852
in finland we have courses that refugees have to take that includes not raping and such. I don't know if it helps though, at least we haven't had any terrorist attacks yet. it might have to do with the fact that we don't really accept that many of them here.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 07:12:16 2017 No.9721923 I wish I had the drive to learn how to program and do pixel art so I could finally make my dream game, which is basically a functional dwarf fortress with isometric graphics.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 07:53:19 2017 No.9722005

Why is it that all over reaching, incoherent, unfalsifiable, and just plain stupid academic theories / areas viciously denounced unless they conform to the preferences of left wing critical theory lovers. Why can't people see that they're all charlatans?

I see topics trying to decipher Hegel and I don't know who's trolling who or if the posters are all low IQers. Rather than try to understand the internal logic of Hegel, why not treat it as a black box and ask its practitioners to make falsifiable predictions with it. I'm sure that's fucking easy for them since they never shut up about how Capeetal / History is explained by their theories. If they manage to predict things then we have a good sign that the theory isn't self referential nonsense.

Of course what I am describing is feasible yet I am humouring them because they'd never do it and I know right this second there are outraged people who will say I am stupid. They will say the theory shouldn't have to do anything. And then I will ask, "So why should your theory be given attention or government subsidies over the infinitely many possible other theories?" Then I will get no answer.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 07:57:08 2017 No.9722018 I just took a couple nurofen plus even though I'm not in any pain. I think I might be drawn to the codeine. Probably be shooting heroin within a year.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 08:24:35 2017 No.9722091 I feel like I'm in some twisted version of groundhog day, where every day is the same, yet the day's on calentar are changing.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 08:27:27 2017 No.9722107

Is anyone else here having literal nightmares about climate change?

I am so fucking scared guys. For the last few weeks I keep having a nightmare where I am at a fancy dress party, dressed as the Arctic Sea Ice. Everyone at the party is ignoring me and they seem to be drinking oil. I am fine, at first but then start to feel hot. I look at my sides and I seem to be melting. I feel hot as fuck, and look in the mirror and see my face melting.

Then I try to get help. I grab at people and they ignore me until I pin down a girl and projectile vomit in her face until she dies.

I am so scared.
We are going to be 4 degrees warmer by 2060. Sea levels will rise 3 meters this century. Food production will plummet by 50%. Disease will spread. Storms and flooding will cause nuclear accidents.

We are fucking done. less than 500 million of us will be left by 2200, and we will NEVER reach this level of civilization again.

I have been trying to cope by stealing Scientific Journals from the University and burying them in metal capsules in the woods, hopefully future humans wil dig them up and use them to re-learn lost knowledge

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 08:31:47 2017 No.9722120

>>9722107
>I have been trying to cope by stealing Scientific Journals from the University and burying them in metal capsules in the woods

I was with you until this point. That's kinda crazy and obnoxious. Wouldn't you think that keeping journals at a library would help people who want to combat climate change?

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 13:56:05 2017 No.9722347
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I feel like I am living in sleep paralysis. Constantly I'm thinking "Just fucking do anything!" and instead I just lay there sprawled out with a big dopey grin on my face. I'm cogent enough to process my environment but I am not functional enough to interact with it. I can't sublimate my identity into the fabric of my immediate reality as others can. I'm here on the terms of a tourist. Anyone else?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:11:28 2017 No.9722870 >>9720385 Dang, that was almost me. I had to studying for my midterm in French when I Gorbatchev home too. Managed to pull urban off, though.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:20:52 2017 No.9722904

Depression ever consumes my mind, and I can't make it stop. I want it to stop, but it will never stop... no, I'll never stop it. I want someone to fix me, but I refuse to try and fix myself.

I see myself in the mirror, but I don't see my *self*. I see this... imperfect chunk of meat, this blob of fat and wasted potential. I don't see me in the mirror, and I never have. Or, I've disowned the fact that that's me, and I just don't want to own up to it.

My father was abusive... or he was trying to fix me in the only way he knew how. He's called me his worst child, after I said as much during a breakdown. I ended up quitting college and moving back with my mother, since living with him was driving me to suicide. That 3 day long drive, I had the radio cranked to the highest volume it could be, because I didn't want to think. I still don't.

My mother is getting better. She had a stroke, a year and a half ago, christmas night; I was across the country at my father's house. The only reason I knew about it when it happened was because I was up in the early hours of the morning playing a call of duty game I had just gotten for christmas; my irresponsibility on that night still makes me wonder, what would have happened if I were not awake to get everyone moving.

Not that that matters. Now, I get paid for taking care of her. But I feel so... worthless. She's getting better for me being here, but I don't feel love. I never have. People have told me they loved me, and I don't feel it, and I feel subhuman for it. Not even my high school girlfriend made me feel loved. Not even a college friend, flat out telling me that she loved me, broke my shell.

I've started taking a journal, and I'm going to start writing, because if I don't get these feelings out I'm going to start going insane. I feel like I'm a hair's breath away from becoming unbalanced, unstable. I'm a good person; I'm smart, I'm charismatic, I'm funny... but, that is *what* I am. I've been told so many times of these three things, and more, but all I can think about is just how unambitious I am, how I want so badly to be fixed, but refuse to try and fix myself.

An image cannot describe how I feel, and neither can I.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:22:44 2017 No.9722911 File: 39 KB, 326x392, 8d2bdc1d4e5624acf1158415367fb738.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I would like to get a dog but I know one day it's going to die and I'll feel like shit for ages

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:24:42 2017 No.9722918 the communist regime has some good ideas but i dont trust humanity to follow those ideals

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:26:44 2017 No.9722929

just writing some lyrics for this song i'm working on
got one verse down:

i want to soothe my hand across your delicate skin
i want to unearth the tastes that are oozing within
i want to memorise the warmth of your seeping sweat
as you grasp and caress me in our lustful duet

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:31:00 2017 No.9722945 >>9722929 Anon...

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:41:01 2017 No.9722973 I can still fail at life after getting a PhD in mathematics from a good university, apparently.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:42:36 2017 No.9722981 >>9722929 Holy fuck anon It's like The Room of song lyrics

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:46:45 2017 No.9722994
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>tfw inhaling coffee while doing mindless shit at work and listening to hegel lectures and you have revelation and realize what your hegel paper thesis is
>throw work onto the floor and run to nearest computer
>can't remember what thesis idea was

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:50:08 2017 No.9723006 File: 11 KB, 130x165, JakobFriese.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9722994 Hegel is philosophy's greatest monster. Ruined philosophy. Do your thesis on Friesian philosophy, it's very interesting: http://friesian.com/#manifesto

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 16:54:10 2017 No.9723017

There's several things on my mind right now. The first thing on my mind, is I want to finish reading this book Hunger. I'm not particularly enjoying it, but I feel devoted to finishing it, because I want to improve my reading ability. Part of me thinks that perhaps I would read better if I enjoyed it more, but I think that also part of being a good reader is just being able to digest what's in front of you; that will be very helpful for going back to college.

I am going back to college pretty soon, after an absence of 2 years. I am going to try to take a placement test for English. I am somewhat confident in my writing abilities, but I am not used to speaking extremely concisely, and with proper grammar. I feel that I can express my ideas though, I have no problem writing out my thoughts. So I'll just have to see what happens. If I get into English 102, I will be happy; hopefully it means I get to skip a semester of English so I can get to stuff I actually care about, like poetry.

I have been thinking about my own personal writing too. I feel that I have run out of things to write about, so I haven't written anything on my blog in quite a while now. It's been months. This peturbs me, because I enjoy writing. I also feel weary of always writing when there's things that trouble me, when I'm in a bad mood. I would like to write about thoughts which I think are interesting; my writings start to feel like nothing more than angsty rants, which are at best well spoken.

Another thing, is that all of this going back to school business has been giving me one hell of an appetite, and I really don't want to gain weight before I go back to college. My confidence goes way up when I feel thin and beautiful.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:24:37 2017 No.9723130 >>9720358 About 2900 words written in the last 3 days. Feels good. Can't wait to make my trilogy a quadrilogy. Also, Antifa is a fascist group, no matter what their name is.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:40:30 2017 No.9723198
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I'm in my first year of grad school and already feel a bit worn down by it. I haven't had a proper holiday since Christmas so I'll do that soon I think.
I just broke up with my gf of three years, amicably. We both really like each other a lot. We've tried breaking up in the past but we're too fond of each other and too physically compatible and it's never lasted more than a day. But now we're long distance, and we're both tired of the problems in our relationship, so I think it'll stick. It's a weird cocktail of feelings. On the one hand, I'm "free": she was very demanding of my time, and now I have it all to myself. I can watch the films I like, travel where and when I please. On the other hand, cooking and cuddling with her made me happy.
It really makes me hate myself, because over the last few months all I could think is how I want to escape this relationship. Now, I find myself only nostalgically remembering the good times. I can't be content.

>>9721882
That sounds fun anon! Where are you going hiking, if you don't mind me asking?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:41:59 2017 No.9723207 >>9720358 Words on a page will never reflect my thoughts.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:42:23 2017 No.9723212 >>9723198 Also, over the past few months I've taken to drinking nearly every evening, which is slightly worrying.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:45:54 2017 No.9723226 I just got done reading a "light novel" so I'm interested in trying to write a story of my own. But I'm old and I'm worried it won't get far.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 17:47:24 2017 No.9723232
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Yet another day without improvement. I'm unproductive as fuck, the only good thing I did today was reading those chapters from Germinal, and even then they weren't many.
I wish I could just do stuff

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 18:26:24 2017 No.9723372 >>9720358 my relationship is falling apart because my girlfriend's in a fucking cult.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 18:33:21 2017 No.9723389 >>9723372 Is it AA?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 18:34:37 2017 No.9723396 >>9723372 A cult? What kind?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:03:00 2017 No.9723499 >>9723372 We demand a greentext story anon.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:05:15 2017 No.9723502 >>9723372 Are you using "cult" pejoratively to refer to a religion, or is it some Jonestown shit?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:12:37 2017 No.9723521 >>9720654 Are you me?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:13:41 2017 No.9723527 File: 38 KB, 394x550, 1312492-Louis-Ferdinand_Céline_en_1914.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] How can i possibly create a work of art when i cant access my feelings?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:13:56 2017 No.9723528 File: 24 KB, 277x400, 1386648047274.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9723372 Elaborate.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:17:04 2017 No.9723537 >>9720989 Fuck I miss this feeling so much. I haven't felt it in over a decade. t. Oldfag wizardo I miss you, Love.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:17:38 2017 No.9723541 >>9723502 What he meant to say was, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:20:50 2017 No.9723547 >>9720358 Goodreads is a great service ruined by dumb, middle class, dirty, hippie, cat ladies. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:26:37 2017 No.9723563 >>9723006 Anglo autists please go back to plebbit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:28:59 2017 No.9723567 >>9721902 Wanting to be admired is not a trait of a cynical pessimist. They give the most minimal fucks about what people think.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:31:04 2017 No.9723572 >>9721902 Why isn't it admirable? Without cynicism and pessimism how could we ever experience catharsis?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:31:20 2017 No.9723574 >>9723372 I dated one whose entire family was in a cult and she grew up in one. She had issues

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:42:16 2017 No.9723602 >>9720668 >you don't even realize that your goal of becoming a french speaking violin player who's biological imperative

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 19:43:33 2017 No.9723607
File: 7 KB, 645x773, feel.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I love her because she's everything that I've ever wanted, and I've never been happier than anyone than I am when it's just me and her.
But she's also everything that I hate. Everything that I don't want.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 20:00:43 2017 No.9723654

I just read more than half of The Sea by John Banville. I periodically try out contemporary Lit. Fic. To try to be more current, or in order to pursue a career in writing. I always regret it because the human soul of our age is abysmally dull and narcissistic. Banville's prose is undoubtedly good, but there's no plot, the shuttling between time frames is not purposeless but trite, and the characters are all for the most part uninteresting. Protag is a writer, struggling with grief trying to track down old crushes now that his wife is dead. Tedious. He beats his dog. Like he realizes how bland his life is he has to add some edge for its own sake like pepper or some shit. Motherfucker, get some better ingredients.

The reading class is middle; I am not. Their compulsory narcissism requires that they "relate" to lit, which is why dullards like Banville succeed.

Thinking about brown-nosing and rubbing elbows with these fucks is becoming a major deterrent to the drive I need to succeed myself as a writer.

Classics and weird fic. are the only thing I enjoy anymore. This populism of the arts has ruined any opportunity for a true genius to emerge.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 20:09:54 2017 No.9723679 >>9720989 that's usually how it goes

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 21:10:19 2017 No.9723839 i don't wanna kill myself

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 21:57:32 2017 No.9723935 File: 231 KB, 1297x1056, screencapture-puu-sh-wDt2l-txt-1499392419767.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 21:59:39 2017 No.9723944 File: 976 KB, 252x198, tldr.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9723935 tl;dr

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:09:29 2017 No.9723976

>>9723372
Guy with cult gf here. I suppose I'm using the term *somewhat* pejoratively, but her family is very devoutly Mormon, and she's so fucking brainwashed with all this historical revisionist horseshit and she's constantly depressed because of her overbearing parents.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:19:57 2017 No.9724008 I don't even have a oneitis to romanticize about anymore. I see beautiful girls pass now and again, but I don't even bother with the romantic daydreaming. They are just transient thoughts to entertain myself with throughout the day.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:20:01 2017 No.9724009 I'm trying to be as boring as possible on purpose

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:22:52 2017 No.9724017 >>9724008 Hi Pessoa

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:26:53 2017 No.9724026 >>>9724008 I know right? The prospects of having a romantic relationship are so remote that daydreaming about it is a ridiculous endeavor and your mind just don't even begin them anymore.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:33:22 2017 No.9724044 >>9724026 same. fantasizing about having gf or a multimillion dollar condo in downtown sf are about the same realism to me

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:53:01 2017 No.9724082 >>9720358 I have the most bizarre fucking life imaginable.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:53:42 2017 No.9724086 >>9724082 Now you got me curious mate, explain.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:55:35 2017 No.9724092 >>9720714 >2 hours of walking every day >still an ineffectual piece of shit You can't fix stupid

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 22:58:44 2017 No.9724103 >>9721193 It'd be pretty embarassing to not finish Great Gatsby in a single day, its like 75 pages

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:00:28 2017 No.9724110 >>9721677 Simple, all you have to do is realize death isn't the end :^)

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:00:53 2017 No.9724114 >>9724086 Nah I don't think I will. Trust me though, fucking nuts mate.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:03:28 2017 No.9724119 >>9722107 >dressed as the arctic sea ice

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:04:42 2017 No.9724120 fuck being a wagecuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:06:57 2017 No.9724128 >>9723017 Hunger is not very sophisticated reading honestly

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:07:38 2017 No.9724130 Milo's book is not bad but he just keeps repeating the same claim over and over again with some snarky lines.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:08:12 2017 No.9724136 >>9724092 listen to audiobooks while u walk duh

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:09:32 2017 No.9724140 >>9724130 >actually reading milo's book wooo lad that is retarded, i'd rather read that new book by "charlamagne da god" than some shit ghostwritten for milo by some semite

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:10:08 2017 No.9724142 I am unable to comprehend what manner of madness compels whoever controls the situation to allow it to continue. It is simply dumbfounding.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:11:32 2017 No.9724145 >>9723944 This. I've seen this gif many times but the sheer prolixity and self-indulgence of that tract made me laugh like crazy.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:13:02 2017 No.9724149 >>9724136 that still would not make me a self-sustaining entity

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:14:23 2017 No.9724153 File: 3.03 MB, 600x328, 1499394640544.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I want war with NK to happen. Let there be a draft, damnit.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:21:49 2017 No.9724173

>>9722107

This made me chuckle a bit.

I had a dream once. I didn't give a damn about the environment, but someone was holding a member of my family hostage. In the dream I ran headlong into the situation to stop it. It ended in a giant standoff, for some reason they just wouldn't return my family member. I don't even remember much about it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:23:47 2017 No.9724177 >>9724173 that is so boring and fuck you for putting it there for me to read

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:24:28 2017 No.9724178

>>9724173
i had a nightmare the other day that i was one of those fat guys with like a bunch of wobbly flab like mantits and a belly in front of his torso, i think it was because i didn't run for a couple days...it was like as i walked the front of my body would swish back and forth like water, i was like oh fuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:26:05 2017 No.9724183 >>9724177 got u senpai

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:27:36 2017 No.9724187 >>9720358 ebony babes

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:29:42 2017 No.9724194 I wonder how much money this is worth now

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:36:20 2017 No.9724213 >>9724140 I'm reading it ironically but he does make some good points on the left and college campuses. I already read a few books that make the point much better though.

Anonymous Thu Jul 6 23:40:28 2017 No.9724223
File: 103 KB, 403x720, 1496051452391.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

all has come to ruin and it is of my making
hate fills my lungs aliment to my useless heart
impotent fury rages all the more consuming itself
I would see each and every undone and torn at the tears I would
I won't I can't

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:02:14 2017 No.9724269 >>9720358 I don't want to go to work tonight. I don't want to adult. I want to stay home, drink a juice box and take a nap. Maybe an otter pop, if the juice box is unavailable..

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:08:53 2017 No.9724292 File: 4 KB, 199x199, 1498711292680.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I fucking hate bugs and insects. I hate even more when they survive a hit and run away.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:13:42 2017 No.9724302

As an antinatalist I feel like I should be taking life more seriously than anyone. People can dismiss me as a nihilist but nothing could be further from the truth because I'm a Gnostic antinatalist and therefore I believe conscious experience is so incredibly dangerous I am permanently fixated on the significance of it. I just wish I could really get it together and people would say "wow what is your life philosophy that you can accomplish all this" and I would tell them I'm merely trying to pay off my karmic debt and make the best of a terrible situation and then they'd be all sad because I didn't affirm life.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:24:37 2017 No.9724336 File: 315 KB, 500x747, feel.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:27:39 2017 No.9724347 File: 718 KB, 1500x1000, 02Mx8sz.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] the script i'm writing is riddled with lies. that script is the script to my life.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:43:23 2017 No.9724385 >>9724187 same

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 00:51:24 2017 No.9724399

wow that new jay-z album is already on apple music...what a "tidal exclusive" too bad it fucking sucks, jay-z needs to just retire, although i knew pitchfork would get suckered in by his shitty "personal confessional writing" or whatever, piece of shit...what else should i listen to that's new this week? (new releases for the week hit apple music at midnight thursday night) new toro y moi sucks he sounds like he's trying to copy the weeknd, hmm, what else is new

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:15:30 2017 No.9724446 >>9724399 >Some nig singer has named himself after a quantity of time End the simulation now Yald!

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:17:49 2017 No.9724450 >>9724446 /mu/ recommend the new 21 savage like it's good, so shitty, doesn't go hard, doesn't have any interesting lyrics, forgettable production the two songs i listened to off this doppelgangaz album are good so far tho

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:45:57 2017 No.9724497 File: 51 KB, 270x325, 1445928629679.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9720668 >tfw learning French and was thinking about learning an instrument, likely violin Get out of my head.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:47:42 2017 No.9724501 >>9724497 if you want to impress the m'ladies then instead of trying to be a medieval troubadour why don't you just go to the gym and get a job

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:52:06 2017 No.9724510 I'm tired of ironic Christians and LARPers. I sometimes feel like the only unironic Christian on this board.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:54:15 2017 No.9724518 >>9724510 i can't square being an unironic christian with belonging to a church except maybe one of those badass calvinist shits that the pioneers who turned american from savage to civilization practiced

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:55:42 2017 No.9724528 >>9724501 I'm not really doing to impress ladies but you're right about working out. I'm a skeleton. I also already have a job but I'm leaving to go to school for IT.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:56:33 2017 No.9724530 >>9724518 But Jesus goes out of his way to found a church, THE Church. What do you think his words to Peter in the Gospel of Matthew mean?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:57:18 2017 No.9724532 File: 267 KB, 960x1280, 1455218082327.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>9724510 Hello, brother.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:57:30 2017 No.9724533 >>9724530 he didn't mean make a giant pagan bureaucracy bro

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 01:59:58 2017 No.9724542

>>9720358

the logos is probably like a glass object that surrounds a source, or rather the source, of light

it is the prism through which sheer energy is given form and substance, those two ideas being actually the same, and shapes the sheer radiation into complex specifics

the word is the concet is the archetypal shape, and it is a unity, a duality, and then a trinity

take all your occult reasoning and fashion it into geometrical images surrounding the total absence of geometry, that is to say sheer sheer-ness, light, radiating, the anticipating energy which wants to manifest that only waits with anticipation for god to command its formative patterning, ...

the planets in their orbits, the distances between them as they trace their paths, are always, when considered as a totality, unique in each moment, they do not repeat

the ratios they form when given numerical significance are always unique at any moment, there seems to be a desire for progressive novelty even in the progress of the heavens, of the celestial bodies which define our fates (and don't think those dots in the sky don't matter), in fact all the dots matter, but the nearer matter more.

That which is near matters more, to be sure.

What we call Jupiter is a kind of Jungian archetype, which has its place in the unfolding human drama, though probably unknown to nearly all, besides perhaps some obscure theosophist.

Life is part of a proper, larger pattern. That we cannot condense that pattern into the human brain seems like a defeat to many humans, but why should we want the totality of things to be so easily understood? Do we not want an adventure that far supersedes the lives we already inhabit? If so, our lack of understanding should be felt as a welcome incapacity. Until we unite with God in the capitol G sense, we have many more millennia to the power of millennia to go. Does that sound tiresome, too much? Suppose you were God, you'd create the grandest adventure possible for yourself, would you not? Thus is the state of things. The time is immense. The way that any given individual character figures into the whole mandala is beyond the individual character's capacity to know. Know only that you figure into it. Because you exist. You, conscious, body-inhabiting, avatar of the divine, exist and are performing EXQUISITELY the task set out for you to do, because the action of existence is only ever exquisite. That is to say, in a larger pattern of beauty that we as of necessity have yet to comprehend.

Limitation is one of the primary functions of beauty.

To experience something as a totally new thing, that is incredibly beautiful. That is you being born into this place, not knowing where or what you were in the infinitude before.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:00:42 2017 No.9724543 Why is it that whenever I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile it all just boils down to me trying to get laid more?

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:03:22 2017 No.9724551

>>9724533
>pagan

There is nothing pagan about any of the Apostolic Churches. Their practices flow from the Bible and from the Early Church, from which they all descend. Protestants and latter-day offshoots are innovators, they do not flow organically from the beginning of things like the Catholic/Orthodox/Coptic Churches.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:04:46 2017 No.9724554 >>9724533 You don't know what paganism or bureaucracy is.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:05:57 2017 No.9724558

>>9724551
protestants are closer to judaism which is obviously what jesus intended, and considering the wealth and prosperity jews and protestants have enjoyed while catholics live in corrupt third world squalor, it's clear god favors the protestant path

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:11:14 2017 No.9724577

>>9724558
Actually, considering how often Jesus emphasized the difference between the ways of the world and the ways of God, wouldn't an inability to succeed financially according to the world's ways be an argument for following God's true path? Especially because God loves the poor and considers them close to him, according to Jesus as well as the entire Old Testament.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:19:50 2017 No.9724593 >>9724577 >this is what the Preterite actually believe ok bro whatever makes you feel better your sloth and vice

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:22:08 2017 No.9724603 >>9724577 >this is what the Preterite actually believe ok bro whatever makes you feel better about your sloth and vice

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:26:39 2017 No.9724612

I can't stop having these dreams that I'm being faithful to you even when you're not part of me anymore and also when you don't want anything to know about me. I think and think about you all day, every hour, even when I'm busy, I'm trying to give you some seconds on my thoughtless mind. I miss you, oh god, I miss you so much, I want you to embrace me all, but you can't, you just can't, you even said it. I used to cry everywhere recalling all the little things we said to each other, but it stops after a while since at the bus this old man looked at me with a really sad face, I knew I had to stop. Now I can't even pronounce your name, I can't even respond when someone curiously wonders about you. Now I just have two tears on my face and I just love you. I want you out of mind soon.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:30:11 2017 No.9724623 >>9724612 not until the interior alchemical marriage occurs will you be free of the tyranny of her memory

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:31:14 2017 No.9724625 >>9724542 Wait, didn't you steal this from Valis?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:33:25 2017 No.9724634 >>9724577 the true god yes. Not Yahldabaolth

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:33:51 2017 No.9724638 >>9724625 idk what Valis means i wrote that shit

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:34:05 2017 No.9724640

I'm not really sure I want to be alive anymore. I've probably fucked up at uni and I'm not sure I'll even graduate. After that I'll just work until I die anyway. I don't think I'm someone who would enjoy marriage or kids. If I didn't have a family who would mourn me, I'd probably have killed myself already. I'm such a spoiled faggot. I don't deserve them at all.

This is pretty typical emoshit though.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:38:11 2017 No.9724653 >Beautiful Girl >Lovely Dress >Highschool Smile >Oh yes.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 02:40:25 2017 No.9724663

>>9724640
Don't get married, abandon university, abandon school, work a minimum wage job and get the cheapest residence possible, remove your obligations to your family, and then...discover yourself with your newfound space.

Certainly you still have to put up with the hell that is work, but that is 95% of humanity. You can feel one with your fellow men in this sense, the suffering is shared, you are not alone.

If you feel inadequate because you've "failed" insofar as society prescribes failing or succeeding, then that is good. Society knows fuck all about really succeeding. Succeeding is a motion towards self expression. Which has nothing to do with being a cashier. Or a dishwasher. These things are like catalysts which it seems we must experience to fuel our rage that our time has been taken from us. Feel and experience that rage, for many years, and discover yourself.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:13:49 2017 No.9724953 i'm going to do lsd before my birthday soon. i've never done any drugs before. i have bad anxiety disorders (plural) so i don't know how this will go. i'm scared of being scared.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:20:16 2017 No.9724970 I touch myself to the thought of you. I know it's weird that I do this because we haven't spoken in a while and we were really only friends. I just think it would be nice to sleep with you, that's all.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:21:08 2017 No.9724974 >>9724953 Everything will be fine, anon. I know it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:23:56 2017 No.9724981 I hope my girlfriend and I beat depression. These are going to be long but fruitful six months.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:27:23 2017 No.9724989 >>9724953 >>9724974 LSD with a more than 250 mg dose will take you to places you've never been, enjoy your mr. bones wild ride

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:30:45 2017 No.9724996 >>9724153 My friend if a war happens with NK there won't be a draft.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 05:56:03 2017 No.9725053
File: 31 KB, 600x387, spoods.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9724292
I felt the same way anon. I was terrified of spiders.
I couldn't even look at pictures of spiders, but I decided to simply not be afraid anymore. So I started facing my fears with one spider video or picture a day starting with something like pic related. It seemed to improve a lot.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 09:00:07 2017 No.9725418

>>9720358
I wish we had met sooner.
I feel as though my life is just beginning.
I am leaving my wife for you and you are leaving the Earth from me.
Will there always be obstacles?
Does life never get any easier?
I never minded being left alone before, but I mind it now, knowing that you exist in the world and will be away from me.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 09:39:32 2017 No.9725521 >>9723935 i read all of this. nothing to say, but yeah, you've been heard

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 11:34:30 2017 No.9725811 What did Hegel say to Kant? Your philosophy's phenomenal, but it needs a little Wirklichkeit

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 11:59:17 2017 No.9725894

>>9720358
I should not write a word, but I want to. I don't browse here, I don't want them to know that, but I don't want to seem stupid. I can't lie, I can't bend the truth for my thoughts already type themselves, throwing my insecurity out for the Anonymous individuals to read, judge, and then, most likely, ridicule and criticize 'constructively' as they say. It is either that or I am too paranoid for my own good. Oh, who am I kidding? Why did I ever decide to write this? I made a mistake. This was a massive mistake. Perhaps I deserve the judging, the jeering and so on from the Anonymouses. I should say sorry.

"Sorry."

Maybe I should sound more casual, so I don't seem like a cringe-worthy individual.

">inb4 I'm a drama queen and attention whore."

That was pretty on the nose, there. I have to alleviate the awkwardness with a short-worded response to sound more relaxed and self-aware.

"...Kek."

I've made a terrible, terrible mistake.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 12:58:26 2017 No.9726120 File: 598 KB, 904x1280, ernst fuchs.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >yfw you realize all interpersonal yearning is a mockery of the ultimate good of the all-inclusive self's exclusive self-reflection

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 13:05:17 2017 No.9726156 >>9724292 >>9725053 Is there a more aurally dreadful name for the spider than "păianjen"?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 13:55:10 2017 No.9726356 >>9720358 That it sucks that this board is pretty much only about classic books and not modern ones

>>	satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 Fri Jul 7 13:58:22 2017 No.9726364 >>9720358 horny housewife number one reached for her terrorist manual

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 14:01:24 2017 No.9726374 The tsuku ref is literally a stab at your entire charade. It's meant to be humiliating. You know it is too.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 14:07:58 2017 No.9726413

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meetrandom ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,
*~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*

satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 Fri Jul 7 14:11:59 2017 No.9726432

>>9724981

Your girlfriend would be less depressed if you didnt have the sexual drive and capability of a neutered armadillo undergoing chemotherapy

depression is a jewish myth. youre actually just a massive faggot and its rubbing off on her.

>couples depression

2 for one special. step one is realizing that it the contagion of your own neuroses that is causing her depression. she would be happy if you didnt exist and the key to her wellbeing is multiple orgasms. seeing as how you couldnt satisfy a hamster is when you move to step two and you embrace your cuckholdry and let the poor cunt get treatment by more capable individuals, while you feebly masturbate in the corner, stop being so selfish

>>	satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 Fri Jul 7 14:16:06 2017 No.9726451 >>9724970 >im a giant sentient vagina cut off your cock and balls and crawl back into your mother's anus

>>	real satan !6881032666 Fri Jul 7 14:43:01 2017 No.9726528 >>9726451 >using a secure tripcode pussy ass nigga, who do you think you are?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 15:45:01 2017 No.9726720 dick fuck shit nigger pooper cunt vagina fuck fuck fuck fuck shit beaner nigger zipppppppp

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 16:06:47 2017 No.9726798 >>9726356 are there good modern books?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 16:32:09 2017 No.9726866 Remember migration and narutobabby? I fucking do. Eat it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 18:49:07 2017 No.9727350 >>9720358 Yes I see you and that's all very impressive, and if I were smart I'd be scared. Now, what if I just want to see what happens if I keep going? Or what if you're standing between me and millions of dollars, and I'd like you to move.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 18:58:24 2017 No.9727389 I'm afraid that my "book" is too misshapen, sporadic, lacking in intellectual rigour or force. Loosely linked and lazy. Most of all, unoriginal. Worst of all, ignorant.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:00:19 2017 No.9727394 No one cared who I was until I put on that mask.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:00:42 2017 No.9727396 >>9720593 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-32AAp418V4

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:10:55 2017 No.9727423 >>9723207 get a mirror then, bozo

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:14:05 2017 No.9727433 I think I'm depressed and I think I have been for over a decade. I think I'm finally at the point where I accept the fact that this is the case. I guess this is progress, but it makes me feel worse.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:18:19 2017 No.9727444

I want to start writing something, but I don't even know where to start, and what it should be about. I figured, if I write for at least an hour a day, I'm gonna get better at some point, right?

I'd guess the only thing I care enough to write about is the tedium and mediocrity of modern life, but I'm not good enough to do it justice.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:23:15 2017 No.9727458

>>9727433
>>9727433
Do you doubt yourself a lot? Are you never sure in anything? Does the phrase "going somewhere in life" mean nothing to you, as in you don't feel how it's supposed to be "going" somewhere? Do you tend to lash out at times?

Also, what do you do and how are you still alive?

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:35:16 2017 No.9727491

>>9723935
I feel you, man. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD-I, but not until I failed my first year of university. I managed to work myself to philosophical breaking point by constantly questioning, breaking things down, taking the meaning from things until I couldn't see a way out. But I insisted on finding a way out ny myself. Other people were useless, they didn't understand, or I thought they didn't. But my issues were much simpler than I imagined. I realised that feelings control thoughts, and not so much the other way.

Halfway through second year, I found some people who understood, actually tried to see things my way. I was called into a meeting with a tutor whose job was basically to tell me off for not working hard enough. I got angry with him for presuming so much, for being so condescending, and he listened. I told him my problems - philosophical ones too - and then he offered to meet with me to discuss philosophy. This was the one thing I needed. It's what I needed so desperately. I don't think I'd be happy now if he hadn't taken the time out of some of his days to talk to me about, frankly, my passion. I study physics. It can get too much - too much ignoring the obvious, glaringly obvious questions that are just not entertained by the course.

And that's not to forget my counsellor. He was potentially a rare kind, but he came at my problems in a refreshing way, making me see clearly where I was going wrong in my thinking. He was sympathetic to my overanalysis of everything.

So now I'm sitting on the days, waiting for my second year results. It's taken me longer than I expected to recover - and I expect I shall never recover, and instead become a philosopher - so I'm anxious. I had dreadful nightmares last night, phasing in and out of sleep so that I barely noticed which state was which. Every night I remember things that were, if not traumatic, disturbing. I take it out on a piece of paper, but I fear I'm just encouraging myself. I don't want to end up in that pit of anguish again.

God, if I get a 2:1, I'll be fucking ecstatic. Over the moon, euphoric, all the fucking cliches winning athletes use. Imagine the look on my tutor's face. Imagine the look on my fucking face. And if I don't get it? I don't know. There are options, but none as good as if I just get the grades in the first place.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:35:46 2017 No.9727494 >tfw your oneitis will never love you back

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 19:51:10 2017 No.9727553 >>9720358 I just cooked some bacon and it was delicious. It was the good kind too. The thick cuts. My god that was delicious.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 20:46:07 2017 No.9727725 Everytime I accomplish a long term goal of mine, I feel no positive emotion from it. Now I delay my own advancements because I'm scared of having done everything I set out to do, and still feel empty inside.

satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 Fri Jul 7 22:32:12 2017 No.9728011

>>9727491

>having "philosophical" problems
> the year of our horned baphomet twenty17

i wish you would be bitten by a malaria mosquito. i wish you would be incarnated into the body of brazilian zika child with microcephaly and then try to wrestle with your spooks while you drool and moan the last of your pathetic legacy into a world that is as cruel as it is qualitatively indescribable, incommensurable with anything within your frightened rabbit's heart. there is a fundamental disconnect. your plagiaristic delusions seem even more contrived in the presence of horny, meaty retards with gangrene, endlessly sodomizing your unshelled body. your soul will never take flight. there is no time to be a bitch and moan about "philosophical problems" , youre literally getting eaten inside out by trillions of tapeworms. thoughts are a dying fad, Reason has been exposed, your ego is devoid of anything but a steady secretion of emotional gluttony, that is all that exists. i want to see the women on your family give birth to zika tapeworms with microcephaly. i want to see the empty chambers of your heart fester with love, i want to see your father gag on his evaporated scrotum dust, i want to see the blood flow from your anus and coat the world, i want you to see

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:44:16 2017 No.9728036
File: 2.13 MB, 3391x2360, 1484291471921.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Getting a girlfriend and losing my virginity was better than I imagined. Other than having some performance anxiety for a bit, it was really nice. Just turned 21.

The gf is cute, really nice, kinky, and super loyal. Feeling great these last few weeks.

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:47:33 2017 No.9728053

>>9728011
LOL, glad I'm not so bitter and resentful as you. You know that such resentfulness is like a poison and hurts you more than it hurts the other person?

Oh, I just noticed you're a tripfag and your name is satan. That's even more edgy and pathetic.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:51:02 2017 No.9728067 >>9720358 this thread always shows 90% of lit is mental illness on hyperdrive

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:52:30 2017 No.9728077 sup stan?

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:53:07 2017 No.9728081

>>9720593
Have you ever read My Confession by Tolstoy? He walks you through his contemplation of suicide, and how he came though it. I just finished the book today; I found it helpful.. I'm going to read Jung next. Try and sort myself out.
Reading is basically what I get out of bed for. I don't allow myself to read in bed.
If you can't bring yourself to read, listen to an audiobook or a lecture online.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:56:14 2017 No.9728096 >>9720358 i miss ontologicool

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:56:29 2017 No.9728098

>>9720358
I hate how I'd rather browse fucking shitty memes on my phone then read some books that I tell my self I'm """"""interested in"""""""""". I just wish I would stop lying to myself about what I like to do and who I am. I feel like someone else is controlling me and isn't letting me do things I want to do.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:57:02 2017 No.9728100 >>9720358 >>>9720358 >this thread always shows 90% of lit is mental illness on hyperdrive Belonging is nice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:58:33 2017 No.9728104 >>9728036 Summer child, what goes up, must come down. Enjoy your honeymoon.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 22:58:42 2017 No.9728106 >>9728098 just admit to yourself you're a pleb

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:09:18 2017 No.9728144

The divide between my girlfriends upper middle class upbringing and my working class upbringing is erking me. I know she secretly loathes the fact i didn't go to university, she doesn't really understand why either. This is combination with me being a typical anger youth, has me feeling unhappy quite often. I find myself in a seithing rage watching to punch out private school wanks who are temporarily appropriating working class culture all on their dads dollar

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:12:35 2017 No.9728150

>>9728144
you didn't go to college because you're lazy and fairly stupid, which is why you put on airs about reading "literature" none of which you have any understanding of because literary theory is a scheme by marxist jews or whatever that guy on inforwars said

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:20:46 2017 No.9728166 >>9728150 Why dont you just shut the fuck up for once in your life? Holy crap man. You are a resentful person.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:26:14 2017 No.9728182 >>9728166 college is fucking simple and it takes a tiny fraction of your life, if you weren't a total degenerate you'd just do it and get it over with instead of being angsty about it forever

Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:28:03 2017 No.9728184

>>9728150
Because i couldn't afford to pay $30k for a degree from my local discount university, and for go $200k in earnings for the years completing the education. While my girlfriends parents paid upfront so she got A 25% discount, shipped her off to university, paid her rent and supported an indolent lifestyle. I'm not lazy, I slog my guts out at work for about 9 hours a day

Getting piss poor marks at university while either sucking dick or doing drugs on your parents dollar is lazy

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:30:20 2017 No.9728188 >>9728184 lol nice excuses nerd

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:39:16 2017 No.9728203 >>9728036 congratulations man. for real i know that feel

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:42:41 2017 No.9728212 >>9728011 >Stan back on /lit/ Say it aint so

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:54:18 2017 No.9728245 >>9728182 >college is simple and a fraction of your life >now take out loans you'll be paying off for a very large large fraction of your life

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 7 23:54:58 2017 No.9728248 >>9728106 thats fair, i definitely am, but i dont want to be

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 00:00:12 2017 No.9728258

>>9728245
well you claim to make 50k a year, why don't you just pay more than the bare minimum due, durr, oh right, you're not college educated so probably "not too good with money" right, ask your gf to do it for you since you're not educated enough to figure it out for yourself

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 00:05:20 2017 No.9728265

>>9728245
>>9728258
see this is the actual real value in a degree, it's not about vocational skills in some stem program, it's about the life skills to finance it, follow through with it, and get the goal behind you. if you can't do that, well it shows your limits

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 04:13:51 2017 No.9728837 >>9728265 I guess, yeah, if you just want to leave yourself entirely at mercy of your loan, however much it may be.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 06:41:25 2017 No.9729084 a lot of cocaine I just want to stand still and exist for a moment even typping this feels like a big annoyance

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 07:09:15 2017 No.9729124

>>9728184
Don't listen to the guys just fucking with you, you're right about most stuff. But holding a general contempt for blue collars is just as dumb as holding a general contempt for white collars.
Also, I'm on the other side (my girlfriend coming from a poorer family) and I can't stand the divide either because it makes her sympathize with all these woe is me victim causes and privilege talk.
>get a girl who reads
>it's all Toni Morrison and the likes

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 07:30:01 2017 No.9729149
File: 49 KB, 608x495, caught.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I would like to go and see a hooker and let some steam off but I am low on funds for the next few days. I'm so horny I feel like I'm going to explode... I might go for a blonde this time. I've yet to lay a blonde as I've never had any interest in them previously, but I feel the sudden urge to try it on with one.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 07:48:41 2017 No.9729175 >>9729084 I wish I knew where to get cocaine

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 07:56:36 2017 No.9729188 I have to get in the City to get Glasses for my Drivers Licence, but i am to lazy.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 07:58:06 2017 No.9729191 >>9724110 why would you say something so horrible?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 08:04:48 2017 No.9729202 File: 2.49 MB, 270x277, 1498999845043.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I am blinded by my own brilliance. I've no means to apply it though. I'd write something better but almost no-one else here has, so why should I.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 08:13:49 2017 No.9729218 >>9727444 JUST WRITE. On the pc, or on paper. Get up, concentrate, think and write something.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 08:17:36 2017 No.9729224 It's too hot to read. What do, /lit/?

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 10:43:36 2017 No.9729577

>>9729218
This. It was over half a decade before I finally sat down to write that book that I've been wanting to write. It sounds hyperbolic, but it's not; it changed my life. I was steady writing/editing basically from late August 2016 until early May 2017. Over 8 months, and I finished 6 books as well as got a 7th one roughly 1/4 finished. I then sort of hit a wall and spent around a month and a half in which I barely wrote anything, but I've been back into writing for almost a week now, and that 1/4 finished book is now approaching 1/2 finished. I've enjoyed writing for over half my life, but now I love it, and it's almost consumed my life. I accept this consummation willingly. Yeah that word may very well have been used incorrectly but I like the sound of it; call it poetic licence.

Oh yeah, and it's also pretty kickass that I've made roughly $130-140 between mid-March to late-June. I don't care that I might be a long ways from being a full-time author, I very much enjoy writing books, and I'm getting paid to do it. I kept my first $20 bill and I think I might just frame it someday. US Dollars, Canadian Dollars, British Pounds, and even Australian Dollars, all within that first $20 bill. Money spent to read my work through ebooks and KENP page reads. I actually got $36 or so that day, and the other $16 went towards some Mongolian Beef... should have gotten a side of rice to go with it, as advised, but it was none the less delicious and I gave a pretty good tip. The waitress was actually a big WoW nerd, believe it or not. I don't play that game myself, but it was pretty cool, even kinda hot. A MILFy woman who is also a hardcore gamer. What an interesting day that was...

Anyways, yeah, just fuckin' start writing. I wish I'd have written that book years ago. By now I'd have over a dozen books finished, probably at least 3 series on the go, and would probably already be a full-time writer or at least making hundreds of dollars a month. Who would say 'no' to that?!

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 10:53:57 2017 No.9729618

I'm writing a short story but it's all wrong. I can't figure out what I want from it. I started out writing it as a rant by the protagonist about someone he's jealous of, but it isn't working that way, probably because listening to a rant is boring in the first place. Maybe I'll write it as a dialogue between them instead. If I want that to work I have to make the two characters philosophy students though, otherwise their discussion would be unintelligible jargon. I don't know if I can pull that off since I've only ever taken an intro to philosophy class. I'd have to do a lot of research. But the story really does feel hollow without referring much to the characters' field of study. Maybe I should put this one on hold.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 11:07:38 2017 No.9729650 >>9729577 what do you write?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 11:47:25 2017 No.9729771 >>9728011 thanks for that mate

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 12:02:09 2017 No.9729810 >>9728053 >trying to reply to banter that good with passive aggressive bitch shit Kek. He is an old tripfag btw. Was one of the better shitposters in his heyday too.

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:09:10 2017 No.9730290

>>9729650
Only the worst, the most despicable and disgusting that can be put to the English language. The most wretched and vile, the most wrought with disgust, the most foul as can be imagined... genre fiction. BEHOLD MY INEPTITUDE FOR WHICH I AM PAID FOR, AND WEEP!

But nah, I'm enjoying some rum, and I quite love to write. I know /lit/ looks down upon genre fiction but I enjoy writing it and truth be told my favourite genre to read is often historical fiction which I will be tackling one of these days, undoubtedly dedicating it to none other than Bernard Cornwell. If you'd like to know what I write SPECIFICALLY, then I suppose I'll degrade myself to a touch of shilling. My pen name is J N Morgan, it is my pseudonym when I write. Best-selling books are by far my 'Living amongst the Dead' series, 3 of them thus far and soon to be 4. Also planning to write a sequel to Firearm Valhalla because I love me some 'gun porn' as I put it. Also it doesn't hurt that besides my LatD series, Firearm Valhalla is my most popular other book. The remaining 2 of my 6 is a drama and an erotica.I think the drama is better, but it seems to sell even worse than the erotica, but oh well. The drama is free on lulu; "Another One Please, to Dull the Pain". Addresses the struggles men face in divorce court, also touches on the issues of child custody, child support, male suicide, as well as some other things. It's a novella, just shy of 29,000 words, and I wrote it within 5 days. Hopefully there's not too many typos. Give it a read if you like, as I mentioned; it's free.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/j-n-morgan/another-one-please-to-dull-the-pain/ebook/product-23229284.html

Do let me know how shitty it is if you read it. You can contact me on Goodreads if you like. I need to give it an edit, I've already been told there's some grammatical errors... but as for character development, storytelling, and all that kinda thing, I really think I did not bad even though I wrote it during a rather stressful time in my life. Been told by a fellow who has been through some rough divorces that I did quite well in spite of still only being in my 20s. Gave him flashbacks of it. An unfortunate compliment, but a compliment all the same. Fuck me, I've got a problem with rambling. Cheers! MORE RUM!

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:13:35 2017 No.9730310 >>9730290 Why did you take your new novella title directly from song lyrics?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:26:28 2017 No.9730355 To her, may you decapitate my body and keep my blood in a jar you'll keep in your closet, just above your wonderful summer dresses. You will put a small amount of my essence on your food, just as salt and/or pepper. This way I cannot let you down.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:32:53 2017 No.9730380 >>9730290 saw mgtow in the tags and dipped

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:38:37 2017 No.9730402

I think I've gone off the deep end. Everyone responds to what I say in confusion and frustration. I can't find answers to any of my questions anymore. Philosophy reads like from a different planet full of five year olds. I object to everything.

Hopefully my newfound hobby of meditation will alleviate some of these issues.

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 14:53:15 2017 No.9730454

>>9730310
Pardon, take my novella from song lyrics? I don't understand.

>>9730380
Yup, it is indeed at least somewhat inspired by MGTOW. I've looked into the reasoning and logic, looked into the 'why', and I understand. Men are given a raw deal in marriage, and I decided to use it as inspiration in my writings. If you are a male, and you ever get married... I wish you well. You have a 50/50 chance of finding your marriage difficult but rewarding... or find it to be utterly gutwrenching and potentially the source of your suicide, as it has been of many men.

To each their own. Perhaps the red pill is a curse... MORE RUM! I entirely intend to go at least 10 more years before considering having a child. 10 more years of living, of learning, and if I am lucky, within those 10 years, a prominence of the men's rights movement so that if I ever find myself in the unfortunate circumstance of a divorce then at least I have a 50/50 chance of getting custody of the child. Perhaps even the child support, but ideally, I think the Government should get out of the child support business. If a woman wishes to have a child wish someone then she should look for a man who will BE THERE for her. If she accidentally gets pregnant, well, there were plenty of preventions available of getting pregnant and there is also the option of abortion. I think she would feel bad for abortion and I believe she SHOULD, she is preventing a life from living, but in the end, there are multiple options. Women have many choices, even if feminists like to think that women are oppressed to the point that it's the dark ages and with rape culture men routinely bump fists in celebration of recent rape victims... madness...

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 15:02:53 2017 No.9730477 >>9729618 Maybe you should just shut the fuck up and write, faggot.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 15:07:35 2017 No.9730487 >>9728144 Does she sit on your face?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 16:59:42 2017 No.9730872 "Wow this place is full of pretentious assholes....why do I even lurk this place again? Whatever I'll just make this post and continue to lurk again"

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 17:07:13 2017 No.9730896 I don't want to die alone

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 17:52:45 2017 No.9731082

Matriculation exam for English and chemistry coming up this fall. The English exam should be an easy Laudatur, but I'm worried I can't bring myself to study properly for the chemistry exam. Or the other more important exams come spring. Cannot ingrain the idea of "if you study, you get good results; if you get good results, you will be happy" in my head even when the good results aren't just for gratification this time around, they will be determining my future possibilities. Especially since I've been able to get very good grades while slacking off. I'm not sure whether I should try to be more ambitious or just think about the actual consequences of acing the exams and use that to drive me. I have some ambition for the Finnish exam since my writing in Finnish has gotten much better over time and I would very much like to improve it even further. My English writing feels much harder to improve since my essay deductions usually come down to weird comma placement errors and legibility of handwriting.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 17:55:15 2017 No.9731094 >>9720358 If hen to pan, does this make God a cosmic masochist?

Anonymous Sat Jul 8 19:39:29 2017 No.9731517

Have I done anything or why is bad luck following my every step? While my old friends never changed their bad habits, I've tried to improve myself over the last 3 years. But everytime I do something, unexpected things cross my plans.
And seeing my old friends having more success in life than me really depresses me.

I have fallen so many times, that even though I always managed to try again I have no energy left.

And it isnt constrained to one aspect. School, hobbies, social life, there is no source left where I could seek strength for my exhausted soul.

I would say that I have never been a bad person, I always tried to be a good person. I have talents, which I tried not to waste but through bad luck or fate whatever you want to call it, I never succeeded, the whole struggle just drained what was left.

And now I'm sitting here. Alone, bitter, no goal, and no energy left to do anything anymore.
I have seen that whether you win or loose is written in stone.
I have offered my hand so many times, but it seems life just doesnt want to take my hand.
I really wanted to love life, see the beautiful side of everything and die with no regrets.
But I guess I am not the chosen one.

We cant all be happy, cant we?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 19:55:19 2017 No.9731574 >>9731517 normie problems

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 20:37:58 2017 No.9731774 >>9731574 These are definitely no normie problems kys

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 20:57:41 2017 No.9731862 >>9731774 Yes, they are. You're looking into someone else's expectations and you're not looking into yourself and what you CAN do or what is the most closer thing that can make you gain what you really want. Get a grip.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 23:04:34 2017 No.9732370 >>9722107 Not nightmares. Not yet. I know what you mean. It is fucking scary.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 8 23:43:17 2017 No.9732486 I mean to be wealthy, and with that goal in mind, I'll do anything it takes; no matter what.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 01:09:08 2017 No.9732694 I should restrain myself.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 01:10:05 2017 No.9732700 >>9720358 Why haven't I killed myself yet?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 01:46:45 2017 No.9732766 >>9732700 because it's not yet your time anon. the universe has more in store for you, and you it. be patient, and things will get slightly less shitty

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 01:59:49 2017 No.9732797

I'm thinking I might actually want a gf, like for real trying and not just hoping the cute ive seen twice barista suddenly asks me out. I'm not sure, but I have alot of other shit on my plate that needs to get done.

Girls are pretty weird and I'm not sure if understand what it takes to keep one happy. I guess I can trick one for a small amount of time, but that seems like more work.

Forget it, Warhammer 40k 8th edition just droped, I'll work on my army and we'll see things are after I get a few games in.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 02:02:05 2017 No.9732804 >>9732486 butt stuff?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 02:28:21 2017 No.9732863 how do you guys decide what allusions to weave into your fiction?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 02:30:14 2017 No.9732870 Having a gf is fun but she isn't much of a partyer. I haven't partied as much and I honestly think it's good for me now.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 03:24:12 2017 No.9732976

I'm an increasingly right-wing Jew frustrated with the SJW attack on Western culture but I also can't get down with alt-right attacks on left-wing Judeo-Christianity, so I don't know what else to do besides read Herodotus,Thucydides, Xenophon, and the Tanakh.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 03:57:34 2017 No.9733051 >>9732863 like, is you for real? might as well ask turner why he chose the brushstrokes he did or how michael dribble so good

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 03:58:23 2017 No.9733053 Repent, and believe in the Gospel!

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 04:17:19 2017 No.9733081 I'm so tired. I wish I had just half an hour more before i have to go to Church. Gotta shower and shave and finish my oatmeal. Church starts in 45 minutes. I can make it. Gotta go fast.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 06:01:37 2017 No.9733302 >>9730290 Your writing is good. Although I'm not interested in the subject matter.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 06:03:03 2017 No.9733306 >>9733081 >church >eating before protestant please leave

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 06:05:58 2017 No.9733309 I hate myself and I want to die

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 06:21:01 2017 No.9733338 >>9733302 Thanks for the compliment all the same, cheers! I'll be writing about a lot of different things as I get my career up and running. Very exciting to know that I'll be making writing my full-time job one of these days.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 10:29:04 2017 No.9733986

>>9733302
>>9733338
Wrote over 2000 words today. Nearly 2,400 in fact. That's probably somewhere around 7-8 pages. My 7th book is at least half finished, and the scene I just wrote might very well be my favourite one in this particular book... maybe even in the whole series? Hard to say, but I really, really like it. I doubt /lit/ would like it though; it's /k/ as fuck, involves quite a bit of gun porn, and also a little bit of gore. Interesting to see things from that perspective, though...

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 10:47:32 2017 No.9734037 OCD is making me bald

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 10:54:00 2017 No.9734058 GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID STUPIUD STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIID

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 11:04:44 2017 No.9734095 >>9734058 Why?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 11:07:26 2017 No.9734107 >>9729202 If you were that brilliant you'd blind other people not yourself.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 11:42:12 2017 No.9734187

>>9720358
I don't know what's on my mind anymore, and I don't know that I ever did. I think that's my main problem as well. I have lived since I was young in uncertainty and so I am uncertain. I am unsure of truth. I don't know what to make of what I feel, and I don't know if what I feel is real or legitimate. And even worse, I fear this is all just incoherent rambling of an idiot. That I'm a pretentious fool.

Sometimes when I think about it more seriously, everything becomes a physical metaphor. The truth is some sort of thing that sits somewhere inside my belly, encased in a ball of some black, heavy metal, and I take a knife and cut it out of me and discover the truth. What I fear is that I am too afraid of dying to ever go through with something like that.

I don't know.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 11:53:27 2017 No.9734221 Grossly fatigued of the attenuated life. The discredited and discreditable.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 12:21:05 2017 No.9734307 Its not easy to do this. Its hard. It breaks my heart. But this is what I have to do. I've no other choice.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 12:22:59 2017 No.9734311 >>9734307 Are you about to shoot your injured horse or something?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 12:27:45 2017 No.9734324 I tell myself I'll stop coming here. Yet here I am.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 12:41:53 2017 No.9734359

>>9734311

Not about to shoot anything. It's a long story. I have to do something that will hurt people I cared for because it's the right thing to do. I have to. I'm not physically hurting anyone either, it's more an emotional thing, which makes it all the harder.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 14:40:11 2017 No.9734736 my head hurts so much ugh

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 14:45:56 2017 No.9734757 >>9724996 >implying war with NK won't escalate to a total war with China

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 15:05:11 2017 No.9734838 Storm is coming !

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:07:20 2017 No.9735069

>>9734757
>Implying China would want to get into a major conflict JUST for the sake of retarded North Korea
>Implying China wants to jeopardize their ever-improving economy JUST for the sake of retarded North Korea
>Implying China isn't actively trying to work with the United States to get retarded North Korea under control

I see North Korea and their missile testing as this... we're in a pub. Everyone is sitting around the bar, having drinks, talking about one another's problems and how to fix it. North Korea is off in the corner while everyone else is trying to be sensible. They're already completely wasted, shouting obscenities, directly threatening the biggest fucker in the room (United States) as well as one of the richest Asians in the room (South Korea), all the while they've found a disassembled firearm along with a loaded mag and they're trying to reassemble it. Well a black man just left who has done absolutely nothing about it (Obama) and a charismatic blond dude (Trump) has waltzed in to find that he's now in the middle of this situation, this problem.

Trump has gone to that corner (brought the US Navy to the Sea of Japan) and is telling the angry Nork to fuck off and stop trying to assemble that firearm. He (Kim Jong Un) won't. Trump is telling him that he'll have to get physical if he doesn't stop. Some nearby Liberals are saying that Trump is trying to start WWIII by trying to defend himself since Kim Jong Un has directly threatened him (America). Finally China, who is BASICALLY North Korea's best friend in the room but really it's not saying much since everyone hates him, has had enough and is now standing next to Trump. Telling Kimmy to calm down, leave the firearm alone, stop threatening Trump and some of the others. Even Russia (Putin) has got up and started flexing his big, strong, bare, masculine, well-oiled chest.

That's how I see it... I may need therapy...

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:11:43 2017 No.9735087

I'm thinking of paying Cliff Sargent like 100 dollars to read my whole tumblr blog, everything I ever wrote. I'd just like to know what someone things of the stuff I write, and I think it would be especially cool if that person was Cliff Sargent. It's such incredibly personal writing, I doubt it wouldn't be awkward as hell for him to comment on it, or read it. I guess that's part of what makes it sound like such an interesting idea.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:16:54 2017 No.9735105 >>9724292 >he still hasn't named and made friend with all the spiders in his room I even sometimes drop big mosquitoes, instead of releasing them outside like other bugs, in their webs for a treat.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:18:22 2017 No.9735113 >>9735087 Who?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:19:04 2017 No.9735116 A few years ago my rage was strong enough that I thought I could kill my uncle but after years of inaction and having to deal with the legal system it slipped from me. Help me find my anger again /lit/. Or help me forget it. Either is fine.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:20:42 2017 No.9735124

So delicious. So nutritious. Its texture that of the finest Persian tapestry. Its fragrance akin to an eccentric cheese of le cordon bleu. My tounge wrapping gently around its entirety causing my neurons to depolarize by opening ion gated potassium channels in which calcium flows down its concentration gradient to stimulate the corpuscles on my tounge as I separate the skin from the shaft. Ever so gently I tossle his black-cock foreskin between my lips in a fashion similar to tasting a fine wine. This fine wine however is all mine

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:24:52 2017 No.9735135 I don't know how to express emotion honestly in real life. I can express ideas all day. I'm not even sure if people express emotion simply anymore. Fuck what have I done. I get it, and I fucked that one up.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:25:34 2017 No.9735138 >>9735069 >I may need therapy... I noticed a suspicious pile of adjectives pertaining to Putin's chest.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:32:59 2017 No.9735162 >>9722107 This is jesus-tier shitposting. Id post a kek reaction face but im not on my computer

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:37:56 2017 No.9735185 >>9722973 Fell for the stem meme

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:46:04 2017 No.9735211 >>9735138 I said I may need THERAPY. You need therapy for having borderline homo-erotic thoughts? I thought to cure those all you needed was a little of 'the rapy'.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:46:57 2017 No.9735217

>>9720358

Ok so I put in my two weeks and then what? I'm dead in the water just like that. Game over. You will never fucking let this go and I have no means to fight it. There's no way I'll give up my only chance. Its not unreasonable to think this, am I wrong? You have to hold fast while you can. There is absolutely no better alternative, I have not been offered one, I will not get one. I'll keep working just to waste my time.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:48:16 2017 No.9735224 >>9724543 Biological imperative. It's the only

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:48:41 2017 No.9735228 Why do I come here?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:53:12 2017 No.9735256 >>9725894 I didnt really read all this because it sounds gay as fuck, i just skimmed the first line of each paragraph. This site is 18+, don't you have to go to summer school or something?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 16:55:08 2017 No.9735263 >>9726356 >2666 >ij >karl oven How new are you? There's plenty of modern stuff in the catalog and the meme culture

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:02:08 2017 No.9735283

>>9727444
If you dont know what you want to write then you're not ready. I think schpenhauer says there are men who write for a living, popular writers, journalists, etc, they write by putting their pen down and letting the words come to them. Then there are true writers who consider what they need to convey before ever picking up the pen.

The point is, dont fall into the habit of writing spontaneously, you'll just keep producing junk. Dont write until you know you have something to say

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:05:49 2017 No.9735306 >>9728011 This isn't really witty, it sounds like a kid with a thesaurus trying to create his own navy seal pasta, except extremely un-self-aware and unfunny in the way only genuine effort can be unfunny

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:07:47 2017 No.9735316 >>9728036 Shes probaly gonna cheat, or break up with you out of a desire to fuck someone else, which is the same thing

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:09:30 2017 No.9735324 >>9729810 >banter Really? That was weak. I didnt chuckle even once. It was a chore to read

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:15:00 2017 No.9735356

>>9728144
>>9728184
Protip, if you're as working class as you say, then private universities woulda comped your ass way better than state. The fact that you didnt get into a private school just reinforces your pleb status.

t. Working class dad, below poverty line for 2 years, full ride at private school

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:29:25 2017 No.9735418

>>9731517
Have you ever asked yourself what you have that other people want? I usually never want anything from sad people, or, if i do, it's not worth putting up with all their sad bullshit. I got my own problems man, i cant be thinking about yours all the time

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 17:31:26 2017 No.9735434 >>9732863 >>9733051 The answer to all 3 of those is practice

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:36:35 2017 No.9736118 >>9720358 give me less time give me less time give me less time give me less time give me less time

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:38:54 2017 No.9736126 I wish my family didn't care about me so I could either (a) live the life I want without the constant pressure of disappointing/shaming them, or (b) kill myself because I have never, for a single moment, found life tolerable.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:41:23 2017 No.9736134 >>9736126 >I have never, for a single moment, found life tolerable. you're not doing it right

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:42:19 2017 No.9736138 >>9736134 I have tried everything under the sun to improve my outlook.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:45:20 2017 No.9736149 >>9736138 The worst part is, on paper, I have such a good life. The fact I don't experience it that way makes me so guilt-ridden that the self-loathing intensifies.

Anonymous Sun Jul 9 20:50:20 2017 No.9736169
File: 273 KB, 910x1198, DEAuV2WUIAA1iAc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>9720358
The artist is the man who, cauterized by the injustices of men and societies, can lift up his head and don a crown of thorns for their sake, pleading that they be forgiven, they do not know what they do.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 9 23:18:20 2017 No.9736764 >>9736138 >>9736149 ayahuasca in peru? look up ayahuasca retreat on google, you may find what you seek

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/lit/ - Literature