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/lit/ - Literature

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948772 No.948772 [Reply] [Original]

>Diogenes stood outside a brothel, shouting, "A beautiful whore is like poisoned honey! A beautiful whore is like poisoned honey! A beautiful whore . . . ". Men entering the house threw him a coin or two to shut him up. Eventually Diogenes had collected enough money and he too went into the brothel.

>> No.948793

Yeah, that asshole was awesome. Nietzsche and Foucault loved him, too.

>> No.948802

Man, if I had to be somebody else other than myself, I'd want to be that motherfucker.

>> No.948822

That old dog.

>> No.948823

Coolest motherfucker to ever live.

>> No.948842

>He destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed on seeing a peasant boy drink from the hollow of his hands.

Every single story is awesome

>> No.948844

sounds like samefag up in here

>> No.948846

>When Plato gave Socrates' definition of man as "featherless bipeds" and was much praised for the definition, Diogenes plucked a chicken and brought it into Plato's Academy, saying, "Behold! I've brought you a man." After this incident, "with broad flat nails" was added to Plato's definition

diogenes styling on plato

>> No.948858

Holy shit, I must go get me some Diogenes. What do we have that he wrote? Anything?

>> No.948863

>>948846
Win.

>>948772
I feel inclined to disrespect him over this, but hey, to each his own, I suppose he earned that money.

>> No.948864

>>948844

Who cares, at least it's not another thread about trashy sci-fi or "BUY ME A BOOK LOL ;_;"

>> No.948871

>>948858

Nothing, just anecdotes from other writers. Awesome anecdotes.

>> No.948879
File: 6 KB, 300x300, 31EZRSXQN8L._SL500_AA300_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
948879

>>948858

>What do we have that he wrote? Anything?
We don't have any of his stuff. He may not have even written anything. We just don't know.

Check this book out if you like the Cynics.

>> No.948887

>Alexander found the philosopher looking attentively at a pile of human bones. Diogenes explained, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave


Nobody on this board would ever dare to provoke alexander the great like he did when given the chance, that's just awesome.

also since I don't want to bump this thread too much, another tale

>There are numerous accounts of Diogenes' death. He is alleged variously to have held his breath;[26] to have become ill from eating raw octopus;[27] or to have suffered an infected dog bite.

>> No.948924

When Diogenes noticed a prostitute's son throwing rocks at crowd, Diogenes said to him "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."

>> No.948934

>>948924
My god, this guy is a sincere badass. I have a new favorite philosopher.

>> No.948959

Oh if nobody's posted the best Diogenes anecdote, I guess it's up to me.

>>When asked how to avoid the temptation to lust of the flesh, Diogenes began masturbating. When rebuked for doing so, he replied, 'If only I could soothe my hunger by rubbing my belly.'

>> No.948965

>>948924
pwned

>> No.948972

Half of those stories are probably false

>> No.948980

>>948972
Of course they are, Diogenes lived 2500 years ago. The fact that we even have an idea of his character is kind of fucking astounding, and should give one reason to pause and consider the weight of human things and the passage of history.

>> No.948982

So wait, why exactly was a crazy old homeless dude who jerked off in public respected as anything but a crazy person? I mean in today's times you spit on these people when you see them on the street.

>> No.948984
File: 82 KB, 400x333, girr ooooooooh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
948984

>>948959
...In very basic terms: dude. Yes.

>> No.948997

>>948982

>I mean in today's times you spit on these people when you see them on the street.

They did that back then too.

>Often when he was begging, Diogenes would be spat on by the people who passed him. Diogenes would ignore this and simply wipe his face with his sleeve. When ridiculed for his passive behaviour, Diogenes said, "Since men endure being wetted by the sea in order to net a mere herring, should I not endure being sprinkled to net my dinner?"

>> No.948998

>Plato saw him washing lettuces, came up to him and quietly said to him, "Had you paid court to Dionysius you wouldn't now be washing lettuces." Diogenes with equal calmness answered, "If you had washed lettuces, you wouldn't have paid court to Dionysius."

again, stylin no plato

>> No.949007

>One day he shouted out for men, and when people collected, hit out at them with his stick, saying, "It was men I called for, not scoundrels."

Trolled hard

>> No.949056

How do I pronounce my new favorite philosopher's name?

>> No.949072

>>949056
Dio as in Ronnie James Dio
Genes as in genes

>> No.949073

>>949056

http://www.howjsay.com/index.php?word=diogenes

>> No.949074

please post more, this is amazing.

>> No.949077

>>949056
anyway you want to, he'd laugh at your feeble attempt anyway and go fuck a whore with money he scammed from idiots entering brothels

>> No.949096

>Diogenes was once invited to dinner by a wealthy man. During the evening, one of the guests became so outraged by Diogenes' general behaviour that he began to throw bones at him, calling him a "dog." Whereupon Diogenes got up, went to the guest, cocked up his leg and urinated on him.

Oh dear.

>> No.949099

He's the Dr. House of Greco-Roman philosophy.

>> No.949100

>>He used to stroll about in full daylight with a lamp; when asked what he was doing, he would answer, "I am just looking for an honest man."

>> No.949106

>>Alexander the Great was reported to have said, "Had I not been Alexander, I should have liked to be Diogenes."

>>Once, while Diogenes was sunning himself, Alexander came up to him and offered to grant him any request. "Stand out of my light," he replied.

>> No.949117

Where are you getting this?

>> No.949118

>>When asked from where he came, Diogenes said, "I am a citizen of the world."

>>When someone was queried as to what sort of man Diogenes was, the reply was given, "A Socrates gone mad."

>> No.949124

>>949117

There's a couple of us posting this stuff.

I got my stories from the following link:

http://members.optushome.com.au/davidquinn000/Diogenes%20Folder/Diogenes.html

>> No.949125

>>Where are you getting this?

Since I read about all of this years ago, I was just googling for the anecdotes I remembered. "Diogenes lamp", "Diogenes Alexander", "Diogenes masturbation public".

>> No.949135

>>949117

Read book 6 of Diogenes Laërtius' "Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers".

It's full of wonderful anecdotes.

>> No.949146

>>949118
It was actually Plato who called Diogenes "A Socrates Gone Mad"

>> No.949192

>>949135
Is there more?

>> No.949198

I think if there are no more stories, we should make up our own. Half of these are probably folk legends anyway, like a Greek Bill Brasky/Chuck Norris.

>> No.949218

>>949192

>Cynic writings are mostly nonextant, and we suspect that even if they were available they would not be helpful because the Cynics expressed their convictions not so much through writings, but through actions and speech. It is, for example, difficult to understand precisely the sense in which the Cynics understood the concept of reason except by literally looking at what they did. A good idea of Cynicism can be gathered by reviewing the countless anecdotes found in secondary Greek, Latin, and Arabic sources, in which we encounter the Cynics in action and in many of which there is probably some element of historical truth.

I'm sure the extant Cynic testimonia is gathered in some academic book or another.

>> No.949221

>>949198
Actually i think it actually is like a ''socrates gone mad'' or a cynical socrates, because he probably wasn't real, either.

>> No.949230

>>949221
There is quite a lot of evidence that shows both Socrates and Diogenes were real.

>> No.949235

>>949146
So he was a mad philosopher?
Like a mad scientist?

Awesome.

>> No.949237

>>949230

Don't bother arguing with denialists. It's not worth it.

>> No.949239

>>949221
>Socrates wasnt real

Not this shit again.

>> No.949273

so whats the next best thing to Diogenes to read?

>> No.949275

How ever much I like the Diogenes, the first punk rocker, my favorite is still Epicurus, he's all about "hey dude n gal, come chill in mah garden, there's wine and fine discussion, what else do you want in life" and that's just fine by me.

>> No.949280

>>949239
I don't mean unreal in the existential sense, but in a materialist sense, no I doubt the existence at least partially of anyone of the classical period. It's only reasonable to do so. Also, why does it matter?

>> No.949287

>>949280
>I doubt the existence at least partially of anyone of the classical period
I... wat

>> No.949300

>>949280
Thats real fucking neato bro

>> No.949301

>>949287
It's a matter of basic materialism, and I don't even mean the classical period that was a mess-up. I mean from Ancient Greece or Rome. I don't mean anyone, either...it's just that, there aren't even bodies for these people. They aren't even bones. What can I do to believe they are real and will someone tell me WHY it matters that they were physically real. Philosophers have used pseudonyms to great effect.

>> No.949305

>>949280
I think it's time for you to stop posting.

>> No.949318

>>949301
>>949301
Your intelligence isn't real

>> No.949320

>>949301

This is what materialism leads to.

fucking skeptics

>> No.949332

>>949301
Do you doubt the existance of Augustus? Caesar? Cicero? Pliny? Tarquinius Superbus? Sulla? Gaius Marius? Alexander the Great? Marc Antony? Pericles? Solon?
If you do, you are an idiot.

>> No.949341
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949341

>>949301
I wish you had a trip so I could block all your future posts.

>> No.949342

>>949318
omfg why are you so mad?! You haven't proven their physical existence, nor have you given any reason why it is important to except it in abstentia of proof. I simply doubt that Diogenes or Socrates were real, it makes more sense that they are avatars of their respective schools.

>> No.949350

>>949342
*accept it, i meant. Really...there is no reason given so far to believe Diogenes was a person and not just a manifestation of an ideal. This has been done before and since. Why are you people so fucking mad?

>> No.949352

>>949341
How do you do this?

>> No.949355

>>949342
How does that make any more sense whatsoever. There are firsthand accounts of their existences from contemporaries.

>> No.949359

ITT: people who have no idea how time works, and think dead beings somehow "exist".

>> No.949369

>>949352
see
>>949326

>> No.949378

>>949355
There are first hand accounts of UFO's and alien anal probes, bro. It takes a little more than that.

>> No.949383

>>949359
and one confused soul who doesn't know the meaning of the word ''existence''...

>> No.949384

he sounds like an irritating faggot

oh well if you cant charm people i guess you might as well be as annoying as you can and get ignored

>> No.949409

>>949384
you're doing your best as well

>> No.949430

>One day he saw an unskilled archer shooting; so he went and sat down by the target saying, "Now I shall be out of harm's way."

lol'd

>> No.949452

>>949409

oh ho

seriously diogenes is a queer and so are you

>> No.949460

God some of these are cool, but others seem like they came out of a Garfield comic. I am glad Diogenes wasn't real, and that a lot of this is from different sources. I am going to only consider the best ones as the ''real'' Diogenes.

>> No.949477

>>949452
u mad cuz me end dio be stylin on u?

>> No.949487

>>949477

you aren't styling on shit and your hero/wish fulfillment fantasy stand-in is infantile. by doing anything other than responding to your posts with "fag" i'm giving you much more than you deserve

>> No.949504

>>949487
>name call a famous philosopher "faggot"
>call an anonymous poster a fag

>infantile

oh you

>> No.949515

>>949504

sure it's fucking crude but when you have an idiot that idolizes this pathetic fuckup it's the only thing you can be sure will get the point across to them

>> No.949530

>>949515
I pity you

>> No.949531

>>949515
>pathetic fuckup

Go away.

>> No.949537

>entertaining thread of folk tales of legendary philosophical figure

>GUYS HE WASN'T REAL AND ANYONE THAT LIKES HIM IS A FAG

>entertaining thread ruined


man, this guy needs to get banned harder than spambots

>> No.949545

>>949530
>>949531
>>949537

diogenes fandom is for dopey faggots, self styled "trolls" who want to be social gadflies but lack the wit or the empathy b/c spectrum disorders and so settle for minor acts of internet sociopathy. he's a /b/tard's philosopher

>> No.949550

>>Do you doubt the existance of Augustus? Caesar? Cicero? Pliny? Tarquinius Superbus? Sulla? Gaius Marius? Alexander the Great? Marc Antony? Pericles? Solon? If you do, you are an idiot.

Either that, or he's a Pyrrhonian Skeptic.

Except for the fact that he doubts the existence of Pyrrho, too, I'm sure.

>> No.949551

>>949545
you're a decent troll, but

iseewhatyoudidthar.jpg

>> No.949576

>>949551

I'm not trolling. I am actually pretty serious. Seeing internet people jerk off over apocryphal stories about this guy being shitty to people makes my fucking gorge rise. It is absolutely offensive and the ease with which he can be appropriated to lend a historical pedigree to being an obnoxious faggot is vile.

>> No.949584

>>949576
But...you're acting like an obnoxious faggot right now!

>> No.949597

>>949584

I am sorry you find an earnest attempt to shoot down bullshit obnoxious.

>> No.949601

>>949124

>A student of philosophy, eager to display his powers of argument, approached Diogenes, introduced himself and said, "If it pleases you, sir, let me prove to you that there is no such thing as motion." Whereupon Diogenes immediately got up and left.

Damn, this guy's ballin'

>> No.949606

>>949597
>>949576
Based on your logic I assume that the show House must piss you off.
Why dont you go talk about it in /tv/

>> No.949607

>>949597
it's just a collection of fucking folk tales

fuck off and let people enjoy the story

goddamn nigger

>> No.949610

>>949601
Thats pretty damn hardcore.

>> No.949608 [DELETED] 
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949608

>> No.949613

>>949606

Not exactly, because House gives the full story: a broken, neurotic drug addict and murderer-through-negligence

>> No.949620

>>949576
this is pattern with you, isn't it?

>> No.949622
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949622

>> No.949623

>>949545

You need some friends.

>> No.949634

>>949623

oh am i a friendless internet loser now, do i drink doritos and mt dew, mr t ate my base?? lol

>> No.949639

>>949634
I think you need to get high/drunk/laid more often so you learn to chill the fuck out

>> No.949641

>The most scandalous of these activities involves his masturbation in the marketplace, to which he responded he wished it were as easy to relieve hunger by rubbing an empty stomach

>> No.949647

>>949639

fuck chilling out, i got shit to say and hits to put out

ill sleep when im dead

>> No.949650

>When asked how he wished to be buried, he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall so wild animals could feast on his body. When asked if he minded this, he said, "Not at all, as long as you provide me with a stick to chase the creatures away!" When asked how he could use the stick since he would lack awareness, he replied "If I lack awareness, then why should I care what happens to me when I am dead?"

God damn.

>> No.949680

>>949650

if he lacked awareness how would it be any different from the rest of his life

>> No.949711

This was a good thread.

Can we bring it back instead of arguing about historical scepticism?

>> No.949712

***

In the midst of serious discourse in the Craneum, Diogenes realised no one was listening. So he instead began to whistle and dance about to attract attention. Immediately, people flocked round him. Diogenes stopped and said, "You idiots, you are not interested to stop and pay attention to wisdom, yet you rush up to observe a foolish display."

>> No.949724

>>949712

Damn.
This is still true

What the fuck is wrong with people? :(

>> No.949735

>>949712
I bet Jackass probably got better ratings than Cosmos did.

>> No.949742

>>949724
This thread became popular once the trolls were dancing and whistling inside it. We're all a part of the problem.