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/lit/ - Literature

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943810 No.943810 [Reply] [Original]

Alright c/lit/s, I have a proposition for you. I'm experiencing somewhat of a writer's block and I'm looking for some unsettling ideas for a short story or piece of poetry. I promise I will write at least one idea and post it in this thread if I receive some good suggestions.

Please, try to use some subtlety.

>> No.943816

Write about how much you love dicks.

>> No.943822

>>943816
Wow, you sir are so funny and original. Really, you should get your own tv show.

>> No.943826

>>943822

Actually, that's already the case. I'm Jay Leno.

>> No.943833

Jay Leno is an asshole.

>> No.943837

>>943833

You just hurt my feelings.

>> No.943838

>>943810
Write a tragedy involving fatherhood. You know how in Siddhartha, Siddhartha realizes after his son runs away that he left the same emotional burden on his own dad. Write something sort of like that, but that dwells on the theme of tragic fatherhood more.

>> No.943849

write about clits. something tells me you adore them.

>> No.943852

You're asking 4chan for ideas.

Enjoy your crystals!!!

>> No.943853

An elderly man who recently got out of court for being acquited for sexual assault on a child, notices a man masturbating in his local supermarket

>> No.943866
File: 562 KB, 1902x1573, Spongebob__Imagination_by_kssael.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
943866

>>943838
Thank you kind sir, that was an excellent suggestion. I'll write a rough draft or two of an introduction and see if it plays out well.

>> No.943874

>>943866
Sweet. Should I expect anything like... today?

>> No.943876

>>943866

I prefered that one

>>943853

>> No.943879

>>943853
Hmmm, maybe although it lacks a little substance.

>> No.943885

>>943874
Depending on other suggestions, maybe. I wont formally start for another twenty minutes or so to at least pretend to be fair to anyone else who wants me to write their wacky story.

>> No.943912

Write a story about a wandering penis that ejaculates dildos.

>> No.943918

An international terrorist ring that smuggles radioactive materials across borders by injecting it into unsuspecting illegal immigrants.

Once they die on the other side, they get cremated and the material is recovered from their ashes.

>> No.943920

>>943912
>>943853
>>943816
See, the problem with these suggestions isn't just that they're bad attempts at sexual jokes. It's that the story ends there! What fuck is OP going to write that you haven't already written!?

>> No.943924

>>943918
This makes no sense.

>> No.943928

Re: The terrorist story.

Write it as though you're coming in halfway through to a detective working on the case of people dying suspiciously of leukaemia...

>> No.943929

>>943920

I wrote that.

>>943816

He's gonna describe how much and why he loves'em?

>> No.943930 [DELETED] 

>>943918
Why would the immigrants turn into ashes?

>> No.943938

They're a criminal ring that profits from people trafficking, but as a side business they also ship radioactive agents which they inject as 'vitamins' to their victims.

>> No.943947

>>943920
The emotion, the dialogue, the deliverance...an ending

>> No.943953

>>943928
Wouldn't it be a tad more unsettling to write about the organ trade, where the poor are legally transported to other countries where their organs are harvested for the dying rich?

>> No.943968

>>943947
>>943929
Tell you what, while other people think of suggestions I'll write some free verse about dicks for you guys. Wont take too long.

>> No.943965

The story of an orphan raising himself within the confines of a Kowloon Walled City type environment.

>> No.943975

>>943953

true...true, but i think it's been done.

maybe set the radioactive materials one in a slightly different reality...?

i thought it up one night as a hook to a sci-fi detective story and reckoned it might have legs - thought i'd offer it up here.

>> No.943979

A gay stripper cums in someone's eye while giving them a backroom lap dance.

Lawsuit ensues.

>> No.943994

A short piece about the life of a cigarette.

Detail the anticipation of fulfilling its purpose once the pack has been opened, patiently waiting for its turn, and the agony it suffers as it realizes what will happen to it and its utter and what runs through its mind as it slowly burns to death.

>> No.944008 [DELETED] 

>>943994
I think we have a winrar. That was a damn good suggestion valiant sir.

>> No.944005

>>943975
It has been done, it's something that actually happens all of the time, but maybe.

>> No.944007

Update Hypnerotomachia Polihpili to be set in modern day.

>> No.944013

>>943968

I'll be waiting.

>> No.944016

>>944008

Oh, neat. I guess it doesn't matter that I lost track of my train of thought at the end there and added in extra words.

Also, I misspelled Poliphili. I think I'm tired.

>> No.944033

Write Atlas Shrugged.

>> No.944100

Now here is a poem about dicks, it's terrible so don't expect any better. I'll get started on the cigarette one.


The flopping long Johnson
presses firm on my pants,
growing harder and harder,
with each mental advance.
“Where are the breasts?”
It bellows allowed,
“And what of the rest?”
Swoons the well-endowed.

“I’m searching, I’m searching!”
I frantically whine,
yet it keeps lurching,
growing larger with time.
“What am I to do,
when ejaculation is well overdo?
Should I thrust it, and drive it
where others do poo?”
“Of course you should.”
It cries from abroad.
“I am king schlong,
and to you I’m your god.
You seem to think,
with by some rouge chance,
that your brain controls you,
not what’s in your pants.”

“I was a fool to doubt you,
oh wise phallus,
now let me stroke you
while we pay homage to man's throbbing chalice.”

>> No.944114

>>944100

SInceremode: not bad OP, not bad. Kinda of laughed. Surely got amused.

Trollmode: I asked you to write a poem on how much you love dicks, not just on general dicks, though.

>> No.944137

>>944114
Troll trolling troll mode: But isn't a poem dedicated to dicks indicative of my subconscious infatuation with penis?

>> No.944173
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944173

>>944100
You actually wrote a poem about dicks...

>> No.944174

>>944137

Troll countering troll trolling troll: not if you did it on command.

>> No.944207

>>944174
Touche, though it could be interpreted that I was looking for a chance to write about dicks. Anyways, I'm about half done the cigarette thing.

>> No.944359

Done, here you go.

Life of a cigarette
I’m but a carcinogenic anchovy, crammed in a rectangular box with 25 of my peers. It’s a rather bland existence I must tell you, but I’ve enjoyed most of. From the moment I was rolled by The Delicate Fingers, I knew my life was special and I was destined to bring someone happiness. Some may say my existence is too monotonous to be fulfilling, but what do they know? For every idea there are always naysayers and ne’er-do-wells who want to rain on my parade; I pay them no mind. In all honesty I rather relish my role.

I remember back when the sky split open and how delicately my peers were plucked from their snug receptacles, never to be heard from again. My friends call me sadistic, but I envy them. Surely a malevolent creator would want to cherish and share my existence with me? I apologize. I’m getting a little carried away. It’s always nice to bask in fond nostalgia because that was such a long time ago and now I’m the only one left. They must save the most worthy for last.

The sky split open again, and I can feel the excitement welling up in my chest. Today is my day; I know it because it can be no one else’s. The air is moist, dry and hot. I can feel the sun beating on my skin, and the air is invigorating with all sorts of new fragrances. Today is the best day of my life. The creator grabs me and gently rolls me back and forth with a lover’s touch and places me tenderly in the firm embrace of puckered lips. cont.

>> No.944368

There is a sound, a harsh scraping, and a dancing, flickering flame bursts forth from a strange cylindrical device. It’s beautiful. I can feel its ubiquitous warmth transcend my very being. This is my moment. The flame brings a bit of unpleasantness as it comes closer, but the creator’s breath flowing through me is sweet bliss.

The bliss lasts all of two seconds, and I can feel the searing flames tear through my brain. Tendrils of pain reach into my very soul and burrow deep within my very being. Oh God, make it stop. I can smell my flesh burning, and the creator’s breath draws the noxious smoke of my own innards through me. I can feel the ichor building up inside me. I can hear myself burn. I can’t feel anything anymore and all of my other senses assail me with a macabre overload. Why won’t he stop? Please make it stop, I’ll do anything. All I want is to be home. All I want is to be able to enjoy my life like it once was.

The symphony of torture ends about halfway through and I’m thrown from miles above into the depths of hell below. Why would someone I love so much do this to me. The ground welcomes me with a sweet kiss of blooming pain through my burning nerve endings. I wish I was never born. The sky grows dark and I’m crushed. I live for three seconds afterwards, just long enough to get a solid look at my burnt entrails smeared across the ground.

written in one draft, but not proof read so I apologize for any errors

>> No.944381

>>944359

Actually, with 19 of your peers, but that's okay.

>> No.944385

>>944381
technically 24, canada sells them in 25 packs

>> No.944396

>>944385

If only Canada didn't have milk in bags. That's a dealbreaker for me.

>> No.944408

>>944396
I get milk in cartons or jugs if I want. Bags are pretty handy though, don't knock it until you try it.

>> No.944469

Damn, that was very terrible OP. VERY terrible.

>> No.944503

Write about a woman who wants to be a man but is actually a man who thinks that he is a woman.

>> No.944513

>>944503
What about a man who thinks he's a woman when really he's a chair?