Looking for Alaska pages 1-10

[Anonymous No.9109396]

Sorry for the delay. Come one come all. Join me for the John Green read along. So come and enjoy the read(like I already did) or talk shit. I will provide all the reading material.

[Anonymous No.9109401]

>>9109396

[Anonymous No.9109418]

Holy... I want more...

[Anonymous No.9109419]

>>9109401
I'm at work so I'll be back in a bit with with the rest. you lads can absorb this for a while.

[Anonymous No.9109438]

>Would be to underestimate the matter dramatically.

Why couldn't he have just wrote "would have been an understatement"?

[Anonymous No.9109456]

>>9109438

It's too on the nose, he's younique.

[Anonymous No.9109464]

I know it's a guy but fat shaming is fat shaming.

[Anonymous No.9109476]

>>9109396

How does he do it and come up with a unique, special snowflake name like Alaska?

[Anonymous No.9109488]

>>9109476
It's actually from a Velvet Underground song, Stephanie Says.

[Anonymous No.9109493]

Hey! I'm John Green and I approve of this thread haha!

[Anonymous No.9109524]

>>9109488
Which he knows from the Royal Tenenbaums.

I don't think the Velvet Underground is really John's type of band. He probably likes the pop ballads like Sunday Morning so he'll claim to like them but then can't stand stuff like Heroin or Sister Ray.

[Anonymous No.9109535]

>>9109396
God this is going to be so fucking banal.

>I'm a kid in HS
>I'm socially awkward but a "nice guy"
>I'm a big fan of the violent femmes!
>oh, hi girl with quirky name I met
>will you be my manic pixie dream girl?
And then something "tragic" is going to happen that ends their relationship or tears them apart

Am I close?

[Anonymous No.9109547]

>>9109535
Actually she basically blows him off, then he gets an awkward blow job from a Russian girl.

Then MPDG dies and everyone is all like oh, so tragic for about 80 pages.

So pretty close

t. Faggot

[Anonymous No.9109563]

>>9109396
>awash in the delusion
this phrasing makes me genocidal

[Anonymous No.9109614]

>>9109547
they don't even have a romantic moment?

That's surprising.

[Anonymous No.9109624]

Someone just post a plot summary from sparknotes or some shit so we can kill this thread.

[Anonymous No.9109644]

>>9109547
>an awkward blow job from a Russian girl
Romanian girl, anon. Lara was Romanian.

Also, as plenipotentiary representative of the Romanian nation on this board I would like to take the opportunity to protest towards the misrepresentation of the aforementioned blowjob as "awkward". Let it be known across all nations of this board that the insinuation that a Romanian born and raised young woman of high school age would be at a loss on how to properly suck dick and would need "coaching" from one of her American counterparts is as preposterous as suggesting she would be in any way impressed at the size and girth of said American dick.

[Anonymous No.9109656]

>>9109614
I think they do at some point, but from what I remember she is never seriously interested in him romantically. I remember she has a boyfriend through the whole thing, but I read it like 4 years ago when I was in highschool, so I don't remember much

[Anonymous No.9109678]

How many pages a day should we read?

[Anonymous No.9109725]

>>9109438
This is exactly the labored, pseudo-sophisticated tone an introverted (self-involved) teenager who was "really into philosophy" would use to write about themselves. I have a hunch it's a voice.
I'm sure John Green would put it more sympathetically, but this is a basic fiction technique.

He knows his readers.

[Anonymous No.9109733]

>>9109678
wtf this is pretty good

[Anonymous No.9109764]

>>9109678
>sweat dripped like tears from your forehead into your eyes
>i only went outside to walk from one air-conditioned location to another

[Anonymous No.9109777]

>>9109678
this is readable in a YA sort of way, although the narrator is supposed to be likable but I hate him.

[Anonymous No.9109803]

>>9109438
Because that's too simple.

Also they're insecure in their own writing. These people need Orwell's 6 Rules tattooed on their fucking forehead.

[Anonymous No.9109815]

>>9109678

10-15 a day? or wherever feels like a good place to pause.

[Anonymous No.9109889]

[Anonymous No.9109933]

>>9109644
Top zoz
Also, why the fuck is John Green writing about a child sucking the dick of the self inserted protagonist

[Anonymous No.9110223]

>>9109933
Because teenagers want to read about awkward sex because that's all they've ever experienced

Actually because John Green wants to tug his Johnson to the thought of 12 year Olds reading his sexual exploits. He's a weird fucker.

[Anonymous No.9110237]

OP you mind dumping more than 10 pages. you somehow tricked me into reading now I need to see what happens next.

[Anonymous No.9110242]

>>9110237
Just torrent the book.

[Anonymous No.9110282]

>>9109678
>plenty hot, certainly
2 adverb, 2 furious
>a vicious ferocity
Superflous adjective.
>unair-conditioned
It should be "un-air-conditioned."
>With cinder-block walls coated thick with layers of white paint
Repetition of "with" in the same sentence is painful.
>you simply cannot draw these things out forever
Stilted beyond belief.
>I should have felt a gooey, sentimental sadness, perhaps.
"Perhaps" fucking kills the momentum of this sentence.

I liked John Green, then I read his writing. Hell, the scripts for his vlogs are more thought-out than this.

>inb4 some comment about 4-dimensional chess where he's actually trying to sound like the edgy teens who read his work
Even if he is, he could at least fucking hyphenate un-air-conditioned.

[Anonymous No.9110288]

what's Alaska's tax policy?

[Anonymous No.9110290]

>>9110237
>mfw this has more success than the Start With The Greeks and the Don Quixote reading groups combined

[Anonymous No.9110541]

>>9109396
I borrowed this book from the library and I stopped reading, oh, at most 100 pages in. I was APPALLED at the filth I was reading, and I hadn't even gotten to the "good" stuff yet - thank the gods. Truly astounding. What makes me feel even more dirty is that when I checked it out my librarian, a male, commented about how I made such an excellent choice and that I had phenomenal taste. Wow. To think that there are human beings out there that don't wish to burn, nay, vaporize every single copy of this book every created. We spend hundreds of billions a year on NASA to act out our collective sci-fi fantasies but we can't spare a million to deal with this disgusting "literature" that I would be ashamed to use as toilet paper.

[Anonymous No.9110673]

Hope you have a good lawyer, buddy boy. Paging John Green as we speak.

[Anonymous No.9110692]

This would be better if it had stupid notes, highlighting, etc from whoever likes these novels for some extra fun.

[Anonymous No.9111097]

>>9109396
Is this the book where he namedrops DFW, Neutral Milk Hotel, and James Joyce all in one chapter?

[Anonymous No.9111314]

>>9111097
*spits out drink* I didn't know JOHN GREEN could write like THAT

[Anonymous No.9112150]

>>9109438
I actually agree with John Green on this (I'll just leave now). I think the parallelism is better than not, and the alternative proposed is also bad when taken as a whole sentence. I think there's deeper underlying problems with that sentence.

[Anonymous No.9112153]

>>9109624
someone do this
>>9109933
Because he has to have a way to get out his own sick fantasies about what he wants to happen to him.