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/lit/ - Literature

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8994498 No.8994498[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Tell me /lit/, what does it feel like to be loved by someone?

>> No.8994500

It's like having a family member you can stick your dick in

>> No.8994501

It is very flattering

>> No.8994504

Equally good as separation feels bad

Attachment is suffering senpai

>> No.8994512

I don't know.

I can't feel anything.

Am I dead?

>> No.8994601
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8994601

>tfw

>> No.8994614

Recommend me books like this thread.

>> No.8994620

>>8994498

gf fell asleep caressing/holding my balls, felt really nice for the first half hour then she squeezed them too hard.

everything good eventually ends OP.

>> No.8994675

>>8994614
My diary desu

>> No.8994676

>>8994614
great expectations

>> No.8994730

Your limbs are shaking and your heart is beating really really fast. You're really giddy and hopeful.
Well, that's infatuation / being infatuated with.

>> No.8994736

You know that bad feeling that hits you suddenly when you're out and you realise you can't find your keys in your pocket.

Like that but good.

>> No.8994766

I have this weird thing where I wish to be loved but any time someone really does I consider them inferior and move on. I only accept people who love me conditionally.

>> No.8994774

>>8994766
Patrician as fuck.

I am the same way, but my condition is that they are ignorant of who I actually am, since I am awful, like all people.

>> No.8994782

>>8994774
so the thing is, you only really have access to partners you're going to end up feeling superior to, or who themselves will feel superior to you and eventually go on their way. that perfect balance is so goddamn rare, so so rare

>> No.8994789

>>8994498
Do u mean What does it feel like being in love with someone?

Being loved by someone doesnt necessarily mean that u got any feelings in retribution.

I got this gf for about 6 months who i can tell really falled in love.... but i never cared, never felt anything (shes got a kid and shes not good looking, shes really kind tough). I guess I just care for the looks and sex...She still got the feelings i think.

The only time i felt like I "falled in love" was for some hot girl out of my league.

>> No.8994791

I fucking hate people

>> No.8994797

Not even my mom loves me.

>> No.8994798

>>8994782

true love, perhaps

>> No.8994799

>>8994789
fuck off normalfag

>> No.8994804

>>8994504
>Attachment is suffering senpai

And how do you deal with this situation?

>> No.8994805

>>8994798
i think i've experienced it myself -- both times, temporarily

and on it goes. i still have some form of platonic respect/appreciation/admiration/love for them long after, hope they became powerful and self-realized

all of the other ones, i would just describe as 'entanglements'

>> No.8994807

you can't ever KNOW someone loves you.
you just know what is to love
>>8994504
>Attachment is suffering senpai
I find this true somehow but it is just a necessary part of trascendental love

>> No.8994813

>>8994804
i carefully select the things i most want to suffer for, and suffer for them

>> No.8994820

>>8994789
same, we are all shallow beings

>> No.8994826

>>8994813
you say that, but do you really?

>> No.8994831

>>8994826
i make a good old-fashioned try of it

'hold on when you get love, and let go when you give it'

>> No.8994834

>>8994831
tell me your story

>> No.8994847

>>8994498

I asked my love as we were about to digress to sleep, "What does it feel like to be in love?"

She told me, "When you are young and the first time you spin on your feet. Twirling around with excitement not knowing what will come next."

And I said to her, "There is not any feeling quite like that, to awake from my fall with the way you make me spin and to see you there. This is something that makes me truly happy."

>>8994504

Pain is a result of our expectations.

Do not expect someone to love you, simply be grateful that they do.

>>8994813

This is also a fair approach, if it is worth the associated trouble then it is something you should apply yourself toward. Even if, at times, there is no associated -feeling- to loving someone at all.

>> No.8994850

>>8994498
It feels wonderful and feels like the best thing in the world but awful when you ruin everything. It feels like fifty simultaneous orgasms in your heart.

>> No.8994858

>>8994834
um

born in texas to two journalists who divorced when i was growing up in the chicago area. spent middle school on the internet, overmedicated on SSRIs, then went off the drugs and quickly snapped out of the video game phase as puberty was taking over

dated around a bit then met my first love in high school. a painter, writer, photographer, designer -- a genius. we spent three years attached at the hip, learning about art, until college separated us. stayed distant friends tho

went to school in texas; hated it and left right away to go back to illinois. became friends with people involved in music (punk/diy) and spent my teenage summers touring and working shows

moved into the city with a friend when i was 19, pretending to study at a city college so my parents wouldn't interfere

met another genius girl, this one living next-door to my first apartment. she was four years older and worked at the opera and had been to theater school. she took me to see wagner and rossini and mozart performed in chicago. then we moved in together when i was 20, lived together for a year, called it quits when the lease was coming around, and i let her go

doubled down on my punk friends/love of literature. dropped out of school entirely. presently working piecemeal and thinking about moving out again

had to deal w/ a lot of separations
-fin

>> No.8994863

>>8994766
I acted this way before. It is not a good way to go through life.

>> No.8994866
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8994866

>>8994498
>>8994498
>Tell me /lit/, what does it feel like to be loved by someone?
Warmth suffuses your being, all the world gains a clarity and a focus relative to the object of your affection, whereafter the intolerable becomes tolerable and the mundane magical, all things appear possible and poignant in the drunkenness of love...until the warmth wanes, hollowing out your very soulstuff upon its exit. And wane it will, for no thing burns forever and love is so contrary a light in this world it is swiftly used and recedes against what was before and what will soon again be.

>> No.8994885

>>8994858
thanks friend, looks like you had to grow up fast but had some fun along the way

>> No.8994900

>>8994885
i tried not to harbor bitterness about any of it

even the girls that broke my heart, i learned worlds from. it's still part of me, and with regard to that, i don't feel like disliking a part of myself

>> No.8994909

>>8994900
I have trouble letting go, I finally sort of got over my first love early last year, then I saw her and she grew more beautiful, and now here I am

any advice?

>> No.8994912

>>8994858
hope you enjoyed that, the rest of your life will be unemployment and being a bitter old fuck.

>> No.8994913

>>8994866
DELET

>> No.8994916
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8994916

>>8994866

>> No.8994917

>>8994909
Are you two in touch? Best thing you can be is glad for her, and also glad for yourself, that any of it happened whatsoever, if it meant anything

>> No.8994921

>>8994917
I really try to be, but when I look at the new her or see a photo I am overcome with emotion, I dunno what to do

>> No.8994922

>>8994912
I'm underemployed already, yr already bitter, and I'm not trading

>> No.8994929

>>8994922
Nah I'm not bitter but it's just kinda sad to think about how if you're in you mid-20s you already experienced the peak of what your life will ever be in most cases. I myself am very scared of the future, didn't want to sound like an edgy asshole.

>> No.8994937

>>8994929
i'm not treating any of that as the 'peak' of anything, i think it was all just the prologue

>>8994921
obviously the subject itself touches a nerve to a huge center of built-up emotion; there's not a lot to do about that, really. i definitely know the feeling. the question is whether you can take that initial pang of emotion, or regret, or whatever the feeling is, and do something thoughtful or creative with it. there are surely aspects of that experience worth taking stock of for enhanced self-knowledge

>> No.8994940

>>8994937
>it was all just the prologue
it really isn't, just look at any of the parents you know, it's insanely likely that the rest of your days will just drift away without a purpose. T. edgy teen

>> No.8994945

>>8994940
all of the parents i know had kids
and i know a lot of people who are saddled with loan debt

i have neither thing

crisis averted?

>> No.8994952

>>8994945
Most people who chase the bohemian lifestyle end up even more screwed up, poor and lonely but maybe you will be one of those cool guys like the MC from Joyce's A Sad Case so keep doing your thing or something like that.

>> No.8994956

>>8994952
you just have to know where the traps are before you reach them, and the whole 'drop out of life' thing is just as full of traps as college and parenthood can be. there are a lot of ways down the mountain, that i know

>> No.8994963

>>8994945
>all of the parents i know had kids
no shit

>> No.8994967

>>8994937
>do something thoughtful or creative with it

yeah I am trying, thanks bro

>> No.8994970

>>8994498
An already warm bed.

>> No.8994971

>>8994967
oh, one thing you can do: be excellent to the friends, peers, family you do have control over your interactions with. it takes the sting out of the things you don't have control over

best luck

>> No.8994972

>>8994971
thats what I am doing currently to her brother, he was in the hospital

thanks

>> No.8994988

>>8994807
I agree

>> No.8994989

>>8994498
Pretty good, until your gf of two years suddenly leaves you without explanation while you're in the hospital after having nearly died and been resuscitated. It'll also be pretty cool when she has a new boyfriend less than two weeks later, and tells you "I don't care, stop texting me" after you text her a few months later to let her know you just found your brother dead (RIP bro - I miss you - 1.10.2017).

I think she was probably cheating on me (or at least losing interest) by the time I was hospitalized and she just felt really bad and guilty about it, and hence decided not to say anything to me. I'm usually not a clingy person, I'm not excessively emotional, and I deal with stress and "trauma" pretty good. Normally I'd be able to deal pretty good with a break up. Being in love and feeling completely safe and comfortable around someone, only to be left when you're about to die was just a little too much. I even have dreams about it sometimes.

That was about 5 months ago now, but I still can't get over it. It was the worst thing I felt in my life.

>> No.8995006

>>8994989
Bitches ain't shit my friend.

>> No.8995009

>>8994989
My condolances to your mother and father in this time
How did your brother pass away

>> No.8995012

>>8994989
I can safely conclude that your love of family far exceeded anything you felt for that girl anyway, so you've got that

>> No.8995024

>>8995009
Mixing opiates and alcohol. I found him in the morning last Wednesday.

>> No.8995025

>>8994989
sorry my man, why were you in hospital?

>> No.8995034

>>8995024
Were drugs a significant aspect of your relationship with that girl? Those relationships can be seriously terrifying

>> No.8995046

>>8995025
You'll probably think I'm a piece of shit after hearing this, but a heroin overdose. I'm quite genuinely not a junkie. I'm actually just a regular dude in his early 20s who attends a pretty decent university and is just trying to get by and be normal. I think I just overdosed because I was being really careless at the time and I was pretty anxious and depressed, if I remember correctly - it was just after a friend of mine had died. I've had a pretty bad year, but I think things are getting better.

>> No.8995049

>>8995034
No she didn't use drugs, drink, or smoke cigs (or weed, if you don't consider that a drug). I don't drink either. I mostly smoke weed, and sometimes opiates.

>> No.8995052

>>8994952
>but maybe you will be one of those cool guys like the MC from Joyce's A Sad Case
>decide to read this suddenly
Joyce was based as fuck
> His cheekbones also gave his face a harsh character; but there was no harshness in the eyes which, looking at the world from under their tawny eyebrows, gave the impression of a man ever alert to greet a redeeming instinct in others but often disappointed.
>She asked him why did he not write out his thoughts. For what, he asked her, with careful scorn. To compete with phrasemongers, incapable of thinking consecutively for sixty seconds? To submit himself to the criticisms of an obtuse middle class which entrusted its morality to policemen and its fine arts to impresarios?

>> No.8995063

>>8995046
I wont judge you, friend. we've all been down a similar road
sometimes you just gotta get away

>> No.8995064

>>8995049
Gotcha, the details of that story reminded me of a lot of drug couples I've known so I was curious. I'm glad, then, that this ordeal wasn't made worse by the collapsed relationship having been hellishly dysfunctional by drugs

That text from your ex was just so apathetic, it kind of made her sound like a serious drug lifer who just literally doesn't care when people die because they're accustomed or something. If you know the type.

>> No.8995068

>>8995049
>I mostly smoke weed, and sometimes opiates.
Degenerate. You deserve what you got, and worse still.

>> No.8995075

>>8995068
the lowlife projection is strong here

>> No.8995091

>>8995052
that's a great one, for sure, now read The Dead, it's immensely beautiful.

>> No.8995144
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8995144

>>8994498
I want to know. Can you show me?

>> No.8995157

>>8995075
I'm straightedge4lyfe anon.

>> No.8995161

>>8995157
so you're a lowlife

straight-edge is a fucking joke son. if you really cared about your wellbeing and not your image, you would just have said you are substanceless or do not partake

>> No.8995166

>>8995157
fun fact

everybody needs to get their neurotransmitters

some people accomplish this with drugs; some people accomplish this with a feeling of self-satisfaction from not doing drugs

i think (the correct amount of) drugs are probably more effective

>> No.8995173
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8995173

>>8995161
It's not about image, I've no-one to even be observed by -- other than myself. It's about not being a degenerate piece of shit. Or is your mind so addled from substance abuse you somehow mistake your lowliness as that of others?

>> No.8995174

>>8995166
i don't have anything against drugs in general but that was amazingly ignorant, reductionist and retarded man, it's not like drugs can't have long-term effects on your health or your loved ones, stop being a twat.

>> No.8995180

>>8995174
have you ever taken prescription medication?

yes?

that is drugs, too

>> No.8995186

>>8995173
sheriff str8 edge here comes out firing, equivocates, projects; every trick in the book

everything is drugs, for real. you're going to have to come to terms with that

>> No.8995187

Depends if you love them back.
At first like pure bliss, your belly prickles, it also reaches up to the chest.
After a while, if you don't love her back, you start feeling like shit, because you don't get the boost you used to so there's just the things that you would lose if you lost her. And you know you are better off like this than alone. And you know you are trash for being the way you are, and wonder if you ever will find someone who will ever love you the same as her.
It gets more and more a chore to talk.
I am at this point, will see soonish where it leads me.

>> No.8995188

>>8995180
yes

I also said that I don't anything against being on something but it's different than taking enjoyment in being sober, there are risks and there are obvious neuronal differences.

>> No.8995194

>>8995166
>everybody needs to get their neurotransmitters
False. (I'll ignore for the moment the fact that your phrase doesn't even make sense, you being a drug-addled degenerate and all.)

>> No.8995199

>>8995174
> it's not like drugs can't have long-term effects on your health or your loved ones, stop being a twat.
xanax doesn't

>> No.8995200

>>8995188
all i claimed was that the str8-edge attitude, especially one in which a substanceless person can call a substance-using person a 'lowlife,' is preposterous. anybody with any social experience of straight-edge knows this. many become walking dorian grays

substancelessness is fine -- do whatever you want -- but people who think they don't 'do drugs' all have something in their life that constitutes the same thing

>> No.8995201

>>8994774
Well take this and then notice you still aren't happy and notice that it's you.

>> No.8995206

>>8995186
>there's nothing wrong with being social scum and a druggy dreg because I can appropriate the fact that everything is an electro-chemical experience to rationalize my unwashed sordid existence
top lel

The worst part is the sentiment isn't even novel, I thought drugs were meant to stimulate creativity but at least in your case it's wholly empty and vulgar recreation.

>> No.8995210

>>8995206
i have literally never once touched any 'drugs' past weed and alcohol

so nice try

>> No.8995220

>>8994766
Are you female?

>> No.8995229

>>8995220
I used to be the exact same callous way as him and I'm male.

>> No.8995236

is love drugs?

>> No.8995245

>>8995229
Used to be? How did you get away from it?

>> No.8995256

>>8995245
this is water