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/lit/ - Literature

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8980200 No.8980200 [Reply] [Original]

If only I could stretch the night

I would take to sleep with such delight

If only I could stretch the night


I would seek and ponder the events of days light

And enjoy timeless delight

If only I could stretch the night


A month to opine the day

And a year to plan the fight

If only I could stretch the night


If the clock were broken

And yet still right

An eternity to be thankful

And to let go of all things trite


To be loose of the hurry to bed

And To be untied from the mornings bite

Oh if I could only stretch the night


Perhaps as death lives in me

The chance I just might

Exists in that long goodnight

A chance to hold times hands

And be blessed with an eternity of light

And the times I'd have before bed

Would outlast my spite

And spring me cleanly

Into next life

May time my sins overwrite

And hell hold its flame from my sight

And give me just a little more time

To turn my soul white


If only before my heart stands against me

I could set it right

If only I could stretch the damned night.

>> No.8980204

Your poem's shite

>> No.8980209

Well, you have one good line. I guess that's why it's first.

>> No.8980218

>>8980204
I truely have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not really trying to be good at poetry... Just at explaining myself.

>> No.8980227
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8980227

>>8980218
Well, I only replied like that because I thought it would be funny. I didn't actually read your OP.

I'm sorry. Always keep believing in yourself.

>> No.8980236

>>8980227
Here I was just thankful someone read it... It's like youre playing chess against my better nature and winning

>> No.8980333

>>8980200
I really like "if the clock were broken / and yet still right" i thik most of this needs polish tho

>> No.8980347

>>8980200
You need to start reading your poetry out loud. Just because the words rhyme doesn't mean it flows well.

>> No.8980362

>>8980227
What's that back alley Tunisian knife fighter doing on here?