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/lit/ - Literature

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890256 No.890256 [Reply] [Original]

My mom stole and hid this book of mine. She won't give it back to me because she says I'll go to hell because of it. Wat do /lit/?

>> No.890263
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890263

You should listen to her. That book is nothing but trouble

>> No.890261

She also took my other book, The Zombie Survival Guide... I want them back. :(

>> No.890267

do whatever it takes to read it and go to hell

>> No.890265

Wow. What age are you?

Tell her you're an atheist and you don't give a fuck and if she doesn't had them back you'll convert to Islam to spite her. DO IT.

>> No.890269

underage much

>> No.890271

If my mom would've tried to pull shit like that on me it would have been a huge fight. Do it faggot

>> No.890274

>>890265
I'm 20, actually. I left a few of my books at home while I was working in the city. Now on vacation, i find out that she took them. She even "jokingly" said that she burned them to stop me from getting them back!
And I'm apatheistic. But mom's just one of those bible-bashing christians... I kinda feel sorry for her, but I REALLY WANT MY BOOKS BACK

>> No.890275

As a portal to Hell and corporeal resurrection, her action is not altogether unwise.

>> No.890278

Not your personal blog, fuck off

>> No.890281
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890281

<-Give her one of these.

After you're done asserting your dominance with that look, be sure to grab the book and tell her, "No good mother will spew her beliefs and confirmation bias to her children and fully expect them to follow, not believing at least part of it is arrogance."

Don't let your mother think you're some kind of pussy by not rebelling.

>> No.890283

Tell her you were using a $50 note as a bookmark

>> No.890284

>>890274
just go buy them again and read them in the living room in front of her or just rent them from your local library. She needs to be shown that you can have your own fucking opinions.

>> No.890285

Why do Christians have to be so stupid? I mean, Jesus wasn't stupid, was he?

>> No.890287

>>890256

Didn't read whole thread OP. Demand the book from her with force, by violence if necessary. Anyone who withholds knowledge from another human being must be dealt with by any means necessary.

>> No.890288

Your mother does not appreciate fine literature.

>> No.890289

If you're 20 just fucking take them back. Get some backbone.

>> No.890302

You could just clearly state that if you dont get the books back, you denounce her. That's always dreaded by the christians.

>> No.890322

Sacrifice her to the Elder Gods.

>> No.890327

My mum pulls that shit all the time lol. She freaked out the other day cos I had a cheap lighter in my pocket. She thought I'd get arrested, so she pick pocketed it. Shes usually great but once in a while the wimin in her rears up and gives everyone shit. Fuckin wimin.

>> No.890414

My mom threw out my porn mags that were under my mattress and my jar of Vaseline that was next to my bed. I wasn't even using that for masturbating or anything like that.

>> No.890423

>>890414
The porn or the Vaseline?

>> No.890573

Calmly explain to her that Lovecraft was a pulp fiction author (emphasis on fiction) that simply liked to write about weird, non christian stuff and his dreams, and that The Zombie Survival Guide might come in handy one day if you're unfortunate enough to be left behind.

>> No.890575

>>890414
Tell her that she can either allow you to keep your porn or give a go ahead on you putting it into std ridden prostitutes.

>> No.890583

So glad my mum isn't batshit insane.

>> No.890607

explain to her its fiction
direct her to the information explain how none of it is real and the claims that its real are myth/hoax

>> No.890612

Do you guys think someone who believes in hell can tell the difference between fact and fiction?

>> No.890619

You're 20 and your mother is trying to take executive decision as to what you are or aren't going to read?

Just take the fucking books back. Either by force or by stealth.

Or just buy a new copy.

>> No.890622

Wow, does she confiscate your Casper, the friendly ghost comics as well? Confront her with a long rant about her not being able to tell fiction from reality and if she's going to burn that book she might as well burn the bible along with it as it has caused more suffering to mankind than all the other books combined.

>> No.890629

If she has really burned them just take some money out of her purse an buy new books. Then leave the receipt in said purse.
If not burned, just take them back by force or threaten to press charges for criminal conversion.

>> No.890631

You're not going to win an argument about the evils of religion with her. In fact, that's only going to make her more convinced that she did the right thing.

Don't argue about how the bible is bad or the book is good. I know what having a crazy Christian mother is like. If you argue that the bible is bad, you're corrupted and shit and you'll never see it again. If you argue about how it's good, you're...corrupted and shit and yo'll never see it again.

Just get it back, preferably on the "Don't touch my shit" argument rather than the "It's better than the bible" argument.

>> No.890678

First ask politely for them, if she doesn't gives them back start drawing small pentagrams everywhere around the house!

>> No.890732
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890732

It's a illegal to take things from adults without their permission, even if they are manchildren who read Lovecraft six years too late.

>> No.890737

It's pointless, childish crap anyway. Read interesting, fun books instead. Also, lol @ "my mom"

>> No.890740

Beat her up with your fists of justice

>> No.890770

Seriously? my mum is a pretty strong Christian too, she found the zombie survival guide funny and had no qualms with me reading Necronomicon. I am a Christian too. Sometimes I wonder if you Americans have something funny in your communion wine...

>> No.890772

>>890770
How else do the priests make the alter boy docile before they molest them?

>> No.890774

Oh America, never change.

My mother used to hide my stuff because of school grades. Memories.

>> No.890777

>>890770
fluoride

>> No.890785

I'd call the police and report her for theft.

Stealing is illegal, fucking criminal.

>> No.890790

You're 20 years old and your mother is still hiding books from you?

Get a fucking spine. Break into her room and take it back. Assuming you are even remotely strong, you should be able to fend her off, get your book back, and move out, you wretch.

>> No.890797

>>890274
>Is 20
>Mom still hides his books

Lol, faggot.

>> No.890812

Christianity is based on sexual repression. This means you should be able to seduce your mother and then blackmail her into returning your literature.

>> No.890817

I remember when I was in 6th grade my parents did this because I got in trouble. Most effective punishment they could have chosen.

Anyway, fucking tell her she's being ridiculous, you're 20 bro.

>> No.890921
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890921

>>890812

>> No.890938

tell her to give you back your property ? Steal her bible and threaten to keep it until she gives it back ? calmly explain that it's just stories ?

>> No.890939

>>890256
Chant ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn until she gives them back.

>>890274
CALL THE POLICE. If you don't she WILL do it again.

>> No.891970
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891970

Holy fuck! She found out that you are a member of the cult?! You are in big trouble now mister!

>> No.891974

maybe you should get a fucking life and move out from your crazy mom's house, loser.

>> No.891979
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891979

Show her this

>> No.891981
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891981

My mom stole and hid this book of mine. She won't give it back to me because she says I'll go to hell because of it. Wat do /lit/?

>> No.891982

if you call the cops, you'll just get b& from home.
just quit being a cunt and suck it up

>> No.892001

How about you BUY A NEW ONE? If it means so much to you then you should be able to fork over the ten dollars it costs.

>> No.892063

Point out that if reading a book about fictional events is all it takes to go to hell, then she's on her way there as well for reading the bible.

>> No.892067

>>892063

fuck you, the Qur'an is the truth not some fictional work

>> No.892076

Why do you own a necronomicon? Seriously, it's not the book of lovecraftian lore, it's just something written by faggots to make themselves seem cool and target angst for sales.

>> No.892085

>>892076
wat

>> No.892091

>>892067
you mean the "devils" truth?

because we all know it was in fact satan who whispered in mohammeds ear what to jot down on that rag of his...

>> No.892093

>>892067
>implying religious texts aren't just historical fiction
Also, Buddha > Muhammad

>> No.892102

>>892076
You're thinking of the Simon Necronomicon.

As OP's image clearly shows, the one he had was a collection of Lovecraft's work.

>> No.892109

>>892102
I apologize kind sir, I realized right after I posted.

>> No.892116

OP, buy a copy of the Codex Seraphinus and leave it around for her to find. Her reaction should be amusing.

>> No.892165

Dude I love that book.

>> No.892197

>>892116
Looks interesting but expensive as fuck.

>> No.892205

You trollin. In case you aren't though, tie your mother up and beat the fuck out of her until she reveals its location. If she disposed of it, slit her throat.

Or.. look harder faggot.

Another option would be to explain that they are short stories by a horror-fiction author, and don't in fact have anything to do with religion or reality in the least (besides the setting being Earth and most characters being Human).

>> No.892209

>>892067
Funny, in the real world the qu'ran and the bible are two different books. I didn't realize we were in your bizzaro world where they're the same.

>> No.892213

Your mom taking the books away from you was the correct thing to do. even the it was for the wrong reasons.

>> No.892216

Cover her bed in petrolium (sp?), then set in on fire when she goes to sleep. Then retrieve your book. Job done.

>> No.892240

1. Make her a sacrifice to the Old Ones
2. ???
3. Profit

>> No.892268

Walkthrough;

You have to throw a penny to distract your dad, then you use the sedative on him. Take your dad's uniform, put his bodu in the garbage can beside the house so guard's won't find him, and walk into the house. Guards won't react if you're wearing your dad's uniform in certain areas, so you can enter your parents' bedroom undisturbed. Be sure to time your search of the room (and other parts of the house) with your mom's patrol route. If she catches you poking around, she might try to have sex with you since she thinks you are your dad, or she'll puke batshit insane christfag garbage at you, in which case you will have to neutralize her (lethal or non-lethal, your choice).

After you get the book, get your suit back from where you took your dad's uniform, and get to the exit point. You will get the Silent Book Thief achievement if you do this successfully.

>> No.892327

Gather 13 people for sacrifices and begin the first twilight (not the book) by sacrificing 6. Then work your way through the second twilight until you have sacrificed everyone, then the witch will resurrect and you'll reach Golden Land where all wishes come true, there you'll get your book back.

Be aware, your mother might try to deny magic, so be sure to commit the sacrificing in a way which makes it impossible to deny that you did it with magic.

Happy reading!

>> No.892565

bump for hilarity

>> No.892814

>>890261

Eh - that one isn't very good. All Katanas and Shaolin Spades and such.

But the Necronomicon collection is awesome.

>>890263

You just have to remember the words:

Klaatu, Barata, Nik... Nig... Nicuragua, Nickel, Nimble... I'm sure it was a "Nic" sound.

I'll get back to you on that.

>>892197

Well, I don't know what American book prices are like - but it was only £20 for about the same content as two or three other collections. Plus it looks good and has some low-key but decent art. Very good value.

>> No.892946

Tell her that being unsupportive of her children's interests is much more likely to send you down a bad path in life than someone's old horror stories.

>> No.892954

>>890274
You're an adult in a civilized society. Report her to the police. }:->

>> No.892964
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892964

>>892327
Witches don't exist, you fool

>> No.892981

>>890274
You're 20? Theft is illegal, tell her you're going to report her for theft to the police and she might give them back. If not, go ahead and do it.

>> No.892986 [DELETED] 

the video youtube tried to ban LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak7AfsmZb8Q

>> No.892983

>>892327

If you are a male, I think I must swoon at this.
If you are female, I think you are an pretty cool guy.

>> No.892987

>>892964
Incorrect, see: neopagan witchcraft

>> No.892988
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892988

YOUR GOING TO FUCKING HELL FUCKR HELL!!!!!!!

>> No.892997

>>892983
I'm male, what now?

>> No.893031

>>892997
I swoon, obviously.

>> No.893043

>>890256
my mom actually burned all 500 of my magic cards because she thought they were satanic devices used by the devil to force evil into my heart.

>> No.893055

>>893043
Same here, along with my Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards (I was 12). She also threw out games, and burned books and someof my drawings. I wasn't allowed to draw for years after that.

>> No.893060

>>893055
whoa, you life sucked man.

>> No.893078

>>893043
My mom took my magic cards and all my CDs, and sent me to a psychiatrist.
Years later, she's an atheist now too. I guess I rubbed off on her.

>> No.893081

>>893055
What is it like having a parent who doesn't respect you, your things, or your privacy? Lawlz

>> No.893218

tell your mom she be thankful you like reading instead of doing drugs. Unless you do, then in that case, man up and tell the cunt to give you your shit back.
don't be a pansy ass faggot

>> No.893256

You're fucking 20, take your damn book back.
Rather, stop being a whiny bitch who lets his mother take his things, move out of their house, and enjoy only having your things stolen by friends and burglars.

>> No.893377

dude, what you need to do is get a shitload of candles, some chalk, a robe, a few other people and pull a seance in your living room- invite your mom over (or wait for her to come home if you live with her) and dont let her know whats up. And when she walks in shell see all the chants and candles and a pentagram on the floor and she will shit the biggest brick you have ever seen.

at this point tell her to give you your book back or you will curse her, right there, you and your wiccan coven.

it doesnt matter that seances have nothing to do with cursing living beings, your mom probably knows nothing about occultism anyway.

>> No.893404
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893404

>>893377

this

>> No.893406

>>893055

My best friend's mom did this same thing because she was drawing pokemon and final fantasy comics

Buddy still has major emotional issues years later, so I hope you're ok these days

>> No.893418
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893418

>>890284
>buy them again and read them in the living room in front of her or just rent them from your local library

what should be done is that you should leave the extra in the front room or whatever, and shell freak out and think that the devil put it there, run to the hiding spot to check were if its there, and while she does this take the extra away. If she takes the extra with her, have a spare and put it in the same spot when she comes back again, itll be like that dr suess's 500 hats or some shit- but with cthulhu

>> No.893431

>>893406
>final fantasy comics

Your friend got busted with FF doujin. Don't pretend otherwise.

>> No.893443

>>893431

sorry bro but that was almost 15 years ago and the comics were gag strips on par with archie. we didn't even know what a doujinshi was.