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/lit/ - Literature

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8812623 No.8812623 [Reply] [Original]

>we write the first sentence of our novel

>> No.8812640

>>8812623
"REEEEEEEEE!!!!!" the cuckold screeched upon learning that his wife had tricked him into raising someone else's kids for the past 16 years.

>> No.8812648

At a time that swells antefore any old time we can think to, in a place that’s two away from any one fingerbreadth, within and without, was a loud and awful vastness that had no ends; no, nothing could be there for to be there there would need to be a there and there was not, not there.

>> No.8812658

>>8812623
"Only one novelist remained; two if you counted God."

>> No.8812663

>>8812623
writing is for fags

>> No.8812671 [DELETED] 
File: 78 KB, 960x960, 1480983978155.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8812671

>>8812663

>> No.8812675

>>8812671
I want to FUCK the evil dogger

>> No.8812718

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8812722

>>8812648
Sounds like your trying a little to hard. The words don't flow together every well

>>8812658
I like the idea of it

>> No.8812731

>>8812640
>>8812663
Thanks for contributions that shit up the board

>> No.8812763

>>8812623
It was a cold winter morning in the 27th year of Michael Kolznic's life when he realized, while dressing for work, that his life had peaked when his high school water polo took second place in the regional championship tournament.

>> No.8812807

I was born to a land where self-deprecation is considered a virtue higher than any other.

>> No.8812810

Midnight mass of dismembered members of the Low Lutheran Church; a flock disbanded by the booming bells, a scurried snowfight on the whitened steps of a Church not hundred years old yet forgotten by the once-so-bold; and a priest awakens from his Red Sleep down in the crypt, covered in wine stains and - not his - shit.

>> No.8812884

so we dont hug on, planes with the uncurrent, died front finitely onto the future

>> No.8812905

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8812910

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8812917

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.

>> No.8812921

>>8812671

CRASH! Only one pancakes remained; two if you include Doggo.

>> No.8812922

"I can appreciate your venerable cause and its ultimate goal, but how do you suppose we accomplish it?"
It was at that exact moment that Dinky Pink realized he had no idea what he was doing.

>> No.8812933

If this is the first sentence of this book, imagine how good the last sentence might be, or you know, just continue reading to find out, sport, champ

>> No.8812965

Only one pancakes remained; three if you include God.

>> No.8813070

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8813093

Lolita, fire of my life.

>> No.8813099

>>8812763
keep going. post first paragraph?

>> No.8813116

>>8812810
I like this.

>> No.8813343

>>8812933
Not bad.

>> No.8813346

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8813354

"Tgis is your time to shine, boy. Three years we've been on this journey, county, state, tri state, regional and now the world champion is standing right in front of you. Remember the 1-2, stick to the basics, ignore the crowd and listen to your gut. Now get out there and show them what a champion is made out of!"

>> No.8813393

>>8812623
My perants when to chuch and i dicered to get drunk on a cuba liber (a mixer of rum ,cola, and lime), and went to go walk my dog but he ran away and i chached him down and brought him back home.

>> No.8813419

>>8812623
Malachi, light of my life, fire of my loins. My luck, my lack. Ma-La-Chi: The meeting of lips then the tongue that slips between but for the trapping of teeth, taken back and caged against the roof of the mouth. Ma. La. Chi. He was Buck, plain Buck in the morning, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. He was Mulligan in his yellow dressing-gown. He was Bucky at school. He was Buckle in the boat-house. But in my arms he was always Malachi. Did he have a precursor? He did, indeed he did. In point of fact, there might have been no Malachi at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial Irishman. In a princedom by the snotgreen sea. Oh when? About as many years before Malachi was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a fart-fetishist for a fancy prose style.

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8813456

>>8812648
decent bait
>>8812763
>>8812807
holy..I want more tier
>>8812810
this is actually good
>>8812917
why did you post this? did you think it would be funny?
>>8812933
10/10, I want more
>>8812922
don't really want more tbqhwy familia
>>8813354
holy...
>>8813393
holy... I want
>>8813419
holy... I want more

>> No.8813471
File: 38 KB, 310x274, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8813471

>>8813456
spotted the virgin

>> No.8813477

>>8813116
>>8813456
Cool. The Japanese Insurance Man was a joke. You know... Just fucking around.

>> No.8813478

>>8812623
"The American Dream has turned into a nightmare," I write in slow, delicate cursive on a napkin while some escort blows me.

>> No.8813479
File: 10 KB, 200x237, Max_stirner.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8813479

>>8812671

>> No.8813588

>>8812810
>reads joyce once

>> No.8813713

>>8813478
bretty gud :DDD

>> No.8813723

WE (period)

>> No.8813761

>>8812623
"oh it`s my delight on a shining night in the season of the year!" - the music faded away..

>> No.8813932

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8813942

The crimson pool of blood was expanding on the carpet as Eric lay there, thoughts flying while he tried to figure out what just happened.

>> No.8813968

>"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" cried Aiden Bolt as his hangglider plummeted towards the nudist colony for futanari.

I'll write the rest if you give me a driving plot point or two.

>> No.8813971

>"He is bleeding profusely, and as always, it's his own damn fault for opening his mouth."

>> No.8813974

>>8812623
My joy is to walk in night.

>> No.8814003

>>8812671
No dogs are evil. All dogs are good, and cannot be anything except good. Come and let me love you, "evil" dogger.

>> No.8814007

I consumed some cocaine whilst fucking a hooker. Fuck I'm a God, I thought as 80s music played. In a moment of introspection, I looked back on my life of carefree hedonism and wondered if maybe I should have done more cocaine or fucked more hookers.
Deciding I'd had enough for one night, I began forcing my way through the crowd to my really big limousine which I have cause I'm rich. I had the misfortune to be spotted by one of my coworkers on the way out.
"Oooooooo, your gluthes are so thoned!" he intoned breathily, grabbing an ass cheek in each hand.
"Get your AIDS-infested compliments off of me, you fucking faggot!" I screamed, pulling away. I jumped in my really big limousine, where a hooker on cocaine was waiting for me. Donning a pair of shades, I put on some 80s music and considered buying some new clothes. "Shit," I thought, as 80s music played.

>> No.8814011

>>8813974
This isn't bad, but why not "at night" or "during night"?

>> No.8814019

>>8814011
Sounds less cool.

>> No.8814080

---but that's where I poop from! cried the little anime girl as Johnny "Dongman" Xong pistoned his notably-long schlong nut-deep into her inconceivable buttered bong-hole, and the heat from her ass made those nuts popcorn (...as he popped his corn)

---God-fucking-damn do I fuck anime girls good... he ordered his meido to bring him cocaine and snorted a whole fucking brick off her flat chest using another meido as the receptacle

---M-master-oniisama you shouldn't be doing this we're only in the 5th grade! to which he smiled, and broke into a jaunty showtune about anime girls and stimulants.

>> No.8814157

It was the fall of 1987.

>> No.8814167

>>8812671
go away evil dogger shoo

>> No.8814172

[record scratch]

[freeze frame]

Yep, thats me. You're probably wondering how i got myself into this situation. It all started in 1984 when a Gravity's Rainbow came across the sky, and I was awoken by a loud BANG.

>> No.8814195

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8814223

>>8812675
>
DO NOT FUCK THE EVIL DOGGER

>> No.8814686

>>8812623
Before the sun was cloud like smoke.

>> No.8814691

>>8812623
Falling.

>> No.8814692
File: 171 KB, 419x610, immunity dog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8814692

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8814711

Me oh my he come from the white hot air like the cold not hit him... like the steam humidity not wet him and then emerge and the cold air get on him damp wet shirt

>> No.8814712

>>8812648
can not make sense of that last bit

>> No.8814715

The barren land around her exhaled in low, hoarse tones, its weak atmosphere could provide a constant wind but did nothing to obscure the black, starry sky in which even the planetoid’s distant native star looked like nothing more than a particularly bright moon.

>> No.8814720

He was dangerously calm in a situation that required at least a little urgency.

>> No.8814723

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8814729
File: 67 KB, 599x602, 1475110032475.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8814729

>>8812722
That second one is an old copypasta. You got meme'd senpai.

>> No.8814739
File: 24 KB, 600x600, 1480773274472.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8814739

>>8812921
Perfection.

>> No.8814744 [SPOILER] 
File: 57 KB, 283x408, 1481178827145.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8814744

>>8814172
Uhhh, sorry to embarass you, but that's the actual first line of a book called "Gravity's Rainbow" by Tombas Pinchman.

>> No.8814755

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8814765

Once again, the misterious shadow of a faceless man slowly appears by the door which Dan keeps on staring while fighting the urge to blink.

>> No.8814767

>>8814729
dam only been here for two years, excuse my plebness

>> No.8814776

>>8812623
>The hypersphere is a big fucking place kid

>> No.8814780

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8814786
File: 24 KB, 253x199, disgusted.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8814786

Ho Lee Fuk

Nuke this thread. /lit/ really has gone down in quality the past few months

>> No.8814790

>>8814786
Said the frogposter

>> No.8814792

>>8814786
I honestly needed this thread. Haven't laughed this hard in a while.

>> No.8814891

In the middle of night when I'm in this dream, it's like a million little stars spelling out your name.

>> No.8814981

You took my hand and we fell into it, like a daydream, or a fever.

>> No.8815006
File: 54 KB, 670x501, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8815006

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger!

>> No.8815018

Swag.

>> No.8815019

To pee or not to pee, that was the question.

>> No.8815029

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8815039

>>8814007

severely underrated post

>> No.8815045

Does this thread mean we are officially reddit?

>> No.8815052

>>8814767
?
that's like the single most common meme on lit

>> No.8815062

This time the location was a large block of flats.

>> No.8815065

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8815067

>>8812623
The brig bobbed gently in the warm waters of Port Royal, and there was not a cloud in the sky. The sea below matched the sky above in its vivid blue, the sunlight scattered across the waves in bright shards, before vanishing and being replaced almost instantly. The sunlight lapped at the disembarking crew, warming their skin as they hauled cargo off into the Jamaican port. It could be said that it was a beautiful day. Yet Woodes was far too drunk to even notice, swaying on land as if he were at sea.

>> No.8815077

>>8812722
Fucking cringe, yikes

>> No.8815080

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8815154
File: 11 KB, 236x233, pepe 3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8815154

>>8812640
>>8814786
>>8814711
kek
>>8814792
right?

>> No.8815165

>>8812810
Pynchon? Is that you?

>> No.8815166

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8815169

>>8812810
this is awesome

>> No.8815170

>>8814007
Made me laugh. Good shit.

>> No.8815175

>The stories of heroes always annoyed me, maybe it was because the bards that sung them saw fit to profit off of others achievements.

>> No.8815199

>>8812763
Don't repeat "life" and it'll be on point.

>> No.8815215

I awoke amidst ash of a burned out fire. A solemn mist clung low to the forest floor and my eyes darted wide across a sea of trees and bushes: a howl, unnatural and cruel, pierced the silence. I have no memory of this place.

>> No.8815350

Kylmänkirpeänä talvi-iltana nuorehko mieshenkilö asteli ryhdikkäästi Aleksanterinkadulle jokin viikko sitten avatun joulukadun koristevalojen kimmellykseen kadonneena, huomaamatta lainkaan kulkevansa väärää kävelykaistaa pitkin vastaantulevaa ihmisvirtaa kohti.

You can drive that through Google translate if you want

>> No.8815388

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8815399

>>8812763
awesome

>> No.8815499

>>8815165
Hey ho.

>> No.8815505
File: 38 KB, 785x757, 1480962511760.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8815505

>>8815350
>Kylmänkirpeänä winter evening youngish man person walked vigorously Aleksanterinkatu a week ago kimmellykseen opened Christmas street decorative lights as lost, noticing at all run along the wrong lane walking toward the oncoming stream of people.


What did he mean by this?

>> No.8815550

As Nickolodeon went to commercial, my dick barfed on her face.

>> No.8815580

"What are you looking at?" asked Peter, three weeks into his two month stint in solitary confinement, at 3:47am.

>> No.8815587

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

>> No.8815605

And so his wish was granted, and lo, the genie caused the heads of every asshole around the world who had ever frogposted to explode in one glorious yet messy purging of the human race, and there was much rejoicing.

>> No.8815615

>>8812623
That picture is really great
I think I saw it in a mmhhh thread before

>> No.8815639

I think I must have the soul of a demon, but that's okay because this is hell!

>> No.8815678

>>8814767
that meme came like several months ago

>> No.8815702

>>8814767
HOLY...

>> No.8815919

>>8815350
kömpelö ja liian pitkä lause.

>> No.8815936

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God.

>>8812671
Go away, evil dogger.

>> No.8816057

>>8812671
Only one enemy remained, two if you counted evil dogger *platinum fists starts playing*.

>> No.8816070

>>8815919
pituushan on lähinnä makuasia, pitääkö enemmän Faulknerista vai Hemingwaysta, mutta millä tapaa lause on kömpelö?
Tottahan toki lauseen voisi jakaa kolmeen selkeään lauseeseen, mutta siitä katoaisi hakemani kertova ja rönsyilevä tyyli

>> No.8816072

The day the rain stopped there was a stranger in town.

>> No.8816081

>>8815350
You could write a lot better in Finnish. Read Lumen Pelko

>> No.8816159

>>8816081
En ole kerinnyt Mukkaa lukemaan

Onko parempi aloittaa Lumen pelosta vai Syntisestä laulusta?

>> No.8816197

>>8816070
>mutta millä tapaa lause on kömpelö?

>jokin viikko sitten avatun joulukadun koristevalojen kimmellykseen kadonneena

voisi pelkistää "joulukadun kimmellykseen kadonneena"

>huomaamatta lainkaan kulkevansa väärää kävelykaistaa pitkin vastaantulevaa ihmisvirtaa kohti.

liikaa turhia sanoja kertomassa henkilön kulkevan huomaamattaan vastavirtaan.

lisäksi epämääräiset 'nuorehko' ja 'jokin viikko sitten' ärsyttävät.

>> No.8816224

>>8816159
Lumen pelko on samannimisen novellikokoelman novelli ja sopivan lyhyt jotta saa tuntuman ko. kirjailijan proosasta. Toisaalta, jos lukee muutenkin romaaneja niin miksi ei aloittaisi romaanipituisesta teoksesta. Ihan miten vain.

>> No.8816263

>>8816197
>lisäksi epämääräiset 'nuorehko' ja 'jokin viikko sitten' ärsyttävät.
kjehkjeh, eli homma toimii

Mutta juu, kyllähän siitä voisi poimia "koristevalot" omaan lauseeseensa ja muutenkin leikellä tekstistä läskiä napostelupaloiksi.
Kiitokset palautteesta!

>>8816224
Laitan lukujonoon

>> No.8816276
File: 68 KB, 680x559, db8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8816276

>>8816263
>>8816224
>>8816197
>>8816159
>>8816081
>>8816070
>>8815350

fug off :DD

>> No.8816306

>>8816276
ebin.

>> No.8816321

>>8813093
It's Lolita light of my life, fire of my loins you fucking dungbeetle

I like to think that I was conceived in a fit of passionate love.

>> No.8816327

As Pox stirred into consciousness, he made a series of logical deductions leading to the conclusion that the cold heaviness in his hindquarters was in fact his own shit that he had deposited in his pantaloons sometime in the last three hours.

>> No.8816340

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8816360

>>8815350
>>8815919
>>8816070
>>8816159
>>8816197
>>8816224
>>8816263
t. Mongolia

>> No.8816371

Lolita, fire of my life, light of my loins.

>> No.8816389

>>8816371
Lolita, fire of my hotpockets, light of my desktop monitor

>> No.8816401

>>8812671
GO away evil dogger

>> No.8816403

>>8815199
>>8812763

Agreed.

>>It was a cold winter morning in the 27th year of Michael Kolznic's life when he realized, while dressing for work, he had peaked when his high school water polo took second place in the regional championship tournament.

>> No.8816409

"Have you ever wondered," she whispered, "what it'd be like to die?"

>> No.8816413

>>8812623
>I guess you really did it this time... left yourself in your warpath, lost your balance on a tight-rope... lost your mind trying to get it back.

>> No.8816416

Jerry was the kind of boy who made my tits puke, but my sister really wanted a threesome.

>> No.8816476

>>8816321
You think you know Anons book better than him, huh?
And what's worse: you suggestion is a complete ripoff from that Nobokov book
It's people like you that make me realize how far the drain /lit/ has really gone

>> No.8816485

>>8816413
Holy...

>> No.8816486

>War is itself a world different from ours

It's edgy as fuck.

>> No.8816488

>>8816413
I want more

>> No.8816491

>>8816360
>>8816276
#suomikuvamaailmalla :DDDD

>> No.8816512

>>8816403
Too much he tbqh

>> No.8816533

"Just a second," I howled, fighting to stay conscious as the hot brown flood escaped me and acquainted itself with the cold tile below.

>> No.8816548

>>8816533
>"Did that Pynch?", he asked laughing yukyukyuk

>> No.8816573

>>8812648
There are some neat things going on it, but it is a bit needlessly complex, and I really don't think this tone could be maintained for a whole novel. What is the overal idea for the book? Or was this just bait?

>> No.8816590

>>8812810
Unironically I want more.

>> No.8816600

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8816622

>>8812623

"Sir." said the large laughing man in the saspirillian mask with a bulbously rosy nose.

>> No.8816627

>>8812671
go away devil dogger

>> No.8816790

>>8816622
"Don't you know that one identifies a genius from the sign that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him?"

>> No.8816820

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8816994

>>8816321
for (you)
>>8816476 (this)

>> No.8817000

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

>> No.8817010

>>8817000
But I thought that in the beginning there was the word?

ps. nice trips

>> No.8817014

>>8817010
That's the sequel. Stop stealing my ideas.

>> No.8817025
File: 57 KB, 504x558, divine vesenic text.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8817025

>>8816573
Yeah looking back the first sentence is pretty bad (I wrote this months ago) but I think what I wrote has promise. I'm essentially writing a religious text, a religion I'm making up of course, that covers creation and a story about the human race developing its relationship with a god.

I'm using obscured language like that because I want to recreate that feeling an inexperienced reader gets when they first read the Bible or Shakespeare, being confronted with a kind of language they aren't used to. I'm also a big fan of puns and puzzles and I personally love reading things written like this, things I have to spend time deciphering.

And yes, some of this needs really heavy editing

>> No.8817028

>>8812623
Neitszche remarked on the barren wasteland of school metaphysics; There was only one enemy left, two if you counted absolute objectivism.

>> No.8817039

>>8812623


He descended down into the esophagus of stairs and lights, ambushed by manifold portraits, and harassed by the tyranny of noise behind jaded and abused dull Cyclops-doors.

>> No.8817047
File: 1.29 MB, 243x199, 1453891731476.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8817047

>>8817014
>tfw gonna write some shit YA trilogy about an angsty jew that gets nailed on a cross
>tfw gonna use your first lines and ideas
>tfw gonna make shitload of money and cuddle with Cara

whatcha gonna do, God?

>> No.8817055

>>8817025
>I'm also a big fan of puns and puzzles and I personally love reading things written like this

You're not alone, I like the stuff

>> No.8817175

"Do you know what the definition of insanity is?"

>> No.8817191

>>8817175
"It's writing the same thing over and over again, and believing someone will eventually find it profound."

>> No.8817219

>>8812623
>I rode by this place thousand and five hundred times by now.

It sounds better in polish

>> No.8817255

>>8817219
Przejeżdżał tędy już jakieś tysiąc pięćset razy. Żeby gdziekolwiek się dostać, musiał przejechać przez most. Zabierzmy połowę pięciodniowego cyklu nauki na dni wolne, pomnóżmy przez dziewięć lat edukacji, a wyjdzie te półtora tysiąca sunących i skąpych tras, za każdym razem otwierających przed nim tylko jeden, ale nowy szczegół.

>> No.8817333

>>8816389
i'm screaming in a way that only mimics intense pain

>> No.8817436

>>8817025
Some of this is really nice

>> No.8817559

"Only one faggot remained; two, if you counted OP"

>> No.8817563

'Ever since I was a boy, I just loved mooshing Doritos in the bag until they made a fine chip sawdust and then pouring them down my throat instead of chewing.,

>> No.8817581

If only he could forget the feeling of having never been loved, maybe he would also forget how little he meant.

>> No.8817641

She had an ass like a suitcase too full of wigs.

>> No.8817647

>>8817641
Actually laughing

>> No.8817653

"An artist respects the silence, it serves as the foundation of creativity!" He said in righteous anger.

>> No.8817654

>>8817559
So you and OP?

>> No.8817662

>>8817653
You sound like a presumptuous no-talent

>> No.8817710

>>8817581
A first sentence should be a hook which raises questions and implies conflict. This is obtuse, everyone on 4chan has written it about himself, and it doesn't add proper context.

>>8816072
This one is kind of okay, but it's really generic+ but there's no immediate, suggested consequences. The story could really go anywhere you wanted to take it -- the situation doesn't naturally unfold.

>>8815550
Gross, but still better. A situation can unfold. I could write an essay on how this is postmodern social commentary but it's ultimately kind of crude. Probably not serious either.

>>8814765
Has the error that the first two have, that is adding purposeless words to communicate the idea. No established tone, no urgency to the story.
>Fighting the urge to blink, Dan stared at the familiar man growing, faceless, out of his door.
Same idea, but condensed.

>>8814715
This belongs in the middle of the book, not the beginning.

>>8814720
Intriguing, I'd read the next sentence.

>>8814686
Also sort of intriguing. An upcoming catastrophe?

>>8814007
>I jumped in my really big limousine, where a hooker on cocaine was waiting for me. Donning a pair of shades, I put on some 80s music and considered buying some new clothes. "Shit," I thought, as 80s music played.
Nice.

>>8813942
Condense and rearrange, and you have the hook of a pulpy mystery book.

>>8816403
I like this a lot.

>>8812807
This is my favorite of the thread. Please post more if you already have it written, I'm interested.

>> No.8817728
File: 999 KB, 364x337, 1480729555993.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8817728

"Guy learns one weird trick," he meditated on the ad. Immediately, his journey to ruin and glory started.

>> No.8817735

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8817750

>>8817710

>Before the sun was fog like smoke.

Actually, I was thinking something of a romance. Thank you, though, anon.

>> No.8817753

Soothingly swished she the napkin across her smooth lips.

>> No.8817767

Violet walked a few steps ahead of Paul, who had his hands in his pockets and followed Violet as they wandered through the walkways of the campus.

>> No.8817884

>>8817710
>Please post more if you already have it written

This is what I have:

>I was born to a land where self-deprecation is considered a virtue higher than any other. Some historians theorise that colonial subjugation bred a national inferiority complex, others argue that it is fresher scars of conflict that have made us skittish around the assured and the brazen. Whatever the cause, the symptoms marked my youth clearly. The correct response to getting the best exam results in the class was not pride or joy but apologetic embarrassment. Among friends we boasted of our failings, never our achievements, and parents were keen to stamp out any flicker of arrogance in their sons' and daughters' eyes. Children understood that while they were to do their best, they were to do it quietly, furtively. God may well love a trier, but my homeland does not.

>> No.8817907

>>8817653
This better be a set-up for an actually good sentence that follows afterwards.

>> No.8817910

>>8817907
We gotta memeilliterate ovah here

>> No.8818689

Human flesh, as far as flesh goes, is comparable to veal

>> No.8818719

>>8817654
no u xd

>> No.8818729

>>8818689
You should drop the middle and just have it
>Human flesh is comparable to veal.

Or if you don't want to drop it
>Human flesh is comparable to veal, as far as flesh goes.

>> No.8818799

Hello, hello, hell, oh. Oh. Home.

>> No.8818810

>>8812623
"In the Spring of 1971, I met a girl."

>> No.8818835

Late in the winter of my seventeenth year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time to thinking about death.

>> No.8818844

>>8818835
Way too long famili.

>> No.8818865

>>8818835
nice pasta

>>8818844
newfag

>> No.8818882

Battery at 4% now, I don't we think we will ever talk again my friend, it was fun after all wasn't it?

>> No.8818891

When my grandfather died my mother flew me out to Illinois with her for the funeral. My Mom had grown up in Springfield and my cousins lived there with my aunts and uncles, and someone had pulled the shuffleboard we liked to play from my grandparents’ attic, which we set up in a corner of the funeral parlor to keep us distracted during the long day of ceremonies. Afterwards, we visited the house, the gutters clogged with crackling leaves, my aunt’s arthritic hands stirring peppermint tea in a Central Christian Church mug, and while we waited in the evil dogger linoleum kitchen my Mom’s sobs could be heard from the master bedroom through the hallway, so that my Aunt put the mug back in the loud microwave, even though it was still steaming. I suddenly had no interest in being in Illinois, or anywhere with a linoleum floor, and when my Mom drove me away in the rented Acura, I never wanted to see any of my cousins again.

>> No.8818894

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8818910

>John Green

Holy shit this is actually published writing. That's a comfort. Maybe I have a chance.

>> No.8818927

>>8812648
>e
Hey man. Not trying to harass you, but this is awful. I've never read anything so lacking a sense of rhythm in my life.

>> No.8818932

>>8818865
>>8818910
Woopsie.

>> No.8819077

>>8812623
the cat gazed from the doorway as he blew his load all over her pretty, moon-shaped face.

>> No.8819280

>>8812921
Lol ya got me you fucker

>> No.8819286

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8820110

>>8812658
Holy... I want more.

>> No.8820114

there was even semen in the silverware drawer

>> No.8820143

>>8812671
GO AWAY EVIL DOGGER

>> No.8820144

Dumb enough as he was, he strived.

>> No.8821030

>>8812810
holy...

>> No.8821048

>>8812623
The wind picked up and in a gentle tremor animated the leaves on the parkway drive.

>> No.8821315

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8821379

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8821425

>>8812810

Fwiw, Lutherans don't conduct Mass, nor do they refer to those in ministry as priests

>> No.8821450

>>8812671

a wiggly goo evader
a wooly gaged giver
do wiggle a voyager
a groggy vowel idea
a grey gigolo waved
give geology a draw

>> No.8821754

>>8812810
Do research on the Lutheran Church. This sounds more like a Catholic Church. It's pretty, but it reads like it's 100 years old. Probably wouldn't get published in today's market.

That said, I'd certainly keep reading.

>> No.8821758

He awoke to greet the indifference of the city with the usual unreciprocated warmth.

>> No.8821835

>>8821450
>Poem entitled "Go Away Evil Dogger"
>by James Joyce

>> No.8821858

>>8812671
Ebil dogger pls go way

>> No.8821888

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8821930

>>8812623
The percussion of raindrops and the chorus of windy howls accompany the curtainfall of the First Act.

>> No.8821940

Don't bother reading this garbage.

>> No.8821965

>>8812623
"It was a kafkaesque evening."

>> No.8821966

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8822047

>>8812623
Carl wanted to go to a heavy metal concert.

>> No.8822055

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8822286

>>8812810
kek
I wrote this a couple of nights ago, drunk, and english isn't even my first language. It's a translation of a section of a novel i'm working on. Maybe i should write it in english?

>> No.8822299

>>8814981
This are GSYBE lyrics u fuckin rascal

>> No.8822310

It was winter in the big city and his ashtray overflowed like tge contempt he felt in his heart.

>> No.8822340

>>8817653
It's a good line, but shouldn't be the first line

>> No.8822343

>>8822286
What's the original language?

>> No.8822355

>>8822343
Finnish.
Not the most fashionable but when they translate it, it'll be GR all over again.

>> No.8822392

>>8822355
Nonni, kerros sitten mitä on tullu kirjoteltua :)

Postaa alkuperäinen?

>> No.8822396

the dog opened his eyes, leaking cosmic radiation, and said, "nietzsche is dead;" and his servants seemed joyful to be so irradiated.

>> No.8822412

There are two types of trauma: blunt and penetrating.

>> No.8822428

>>8822392
>kerros sitten mitä on tullu kirjoteltua
Sisältöä on mahdoton tiivistää yhteen postaukseen, ja alkuperäistä en voi postata kustannussopimuksen takia. Voit hakea kopion n:nen vuoden päästä Suomalaisesta.

>> No.8822439

>>8822428
Ymmärrän
Minkä kustantajan kanssa sulla on sopimus? Tuntuu jännältä löytää /lit/istä ihan oikea kirjailija ja vieläpä suomalainen
Oletko aiemmin julkaissut kirjoja? Miten on menestynyt?

>> No.8822441

>>8822439
>>8822439

Oh my god stop stop, no one wants to see this shit

>> No.8822451

"And then there's Marty!" I said.

>> No.8822458
File: 2.67 MB, 421x336, 1454012265602.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8822458

>>8822441
>tfw anglo buttblasted by the sight of a superior language

>> No.8822459

>>8812623
We did it, Reddit!

>> No.8822475

>>8822439
Tunnistussyistä en kustantajaa halua kertoa, mutta runokokoelmia ja yhden romaanin olen aikaisemmin saanut ilmoille ihan hyvällä menestyksellä.

>> No.8822486

>>8822475
Kuulostaa hyvältä
Itte väännän opiskelun ja kassatyön ohella 2000-luvun suomalaista mestariteosta, kattoo jos joskus viittisin sen myös jollekkin kustantajalle lähettää. Ajatellut lähinnä Otavaa.

Mutta taidan mennä nukkumaan, kaikkea hyvää jatkoon!

>> No.8822713

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8822721

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8822729

>>8812623
With his verbal opponent defeated soundly, he turned smiling to what he would imagine to be the camera if his life were a small yet successful British situational comedy about a man too smart for his own good yet not smart enough to safe himself from his constant existential dread.

>> No.8822787

It's not that people don't understand loneliness, it's just that most people never experience it.

>> No.8822791

>I woke up to a crash! Guess the golden retriever tried making pancakes again!

>> No.8822809

>>8822787
But people do experience it?

>> No.8822817

>>8812921
>>8822791
is crash a meme.

>> No.8822825

>>8822817

read >>8815655

>> No.8822947

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8822963

>>8822791
H O L Y

O

L

Y

>> No.8823095
File: 60 KB, 562x600, Composite_Chopper_Run.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8823095

Before I ruined my life, I was grilling hot dogs and burgers.

>> No.8823117
File: 54 KB, 300x262, darkandstormy_5013.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8823117

Anton swaggered crookedly down the pier, unafraid of the assailing darkness, granted courage by gin and whiskey to fumble towards his destiny.

>> No.8823129

Let's break my body after they fix it.

>> No.8823238

When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.

>> No.8823469

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8823491

>>8822340
>>8817907
WE GOT THEM BROS XD

>> No.8823614

>>8812623
"It has truly, truly, been a「Roundabout」path"

>> No.8823648

>>8812671
go away evil dogger

>> No.8823682

>>8812623
Sixteen years ago I broke my foot. My dipshit brother opened up the door too fast as I approached it and my toes were pushed inside of my foot. Needless to say, my college football career was over.

>> No.8824027

>>8812671
go away evil dogger.
Also Janitors please delete this post and all its replies.
Thanks

>> No.8824994

I, Nathaniel Cromwell, write these memoires of mine with a healthy mind and - which is of greater importance - a pure heart.

Originally in german

>> No.8825017

his hot cock swayed with the tide, leading the dance of the reeds that crowded the bank, the giant koi fish hed been visiting for two months to have sex with had finished its meal of fish flakes hidden under his foreskin and was now chasing the smoky white cum trail back and forth through the water as if in play and he began to look around to make sure no one could see him

>> No.8825119

Every day is garbage day when you're me, the garbageman named Kyle Thoreau.

>> No.8825146

Many years later, as he was sucking his nigga's cock real good, licking the shaft real slow and tonguing the balls real nice, lettin' his nigga enjoy the pleasure of his mixed race mouth up on his dick, Jamal Washington was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

>> No.8825155

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8825186
File: 71 KB, 1280x720, 124134151234.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8825186

>>8812623
"Big ol' sloppy, dirty, painful, buttsex" whispered the caretaker only a fingernails length from Old Nanny Moddie's hearing aid.

>> No.8826281

>>8812671
gway evil doggoer

>> No.8826417

>>8823238
Don't give up Tay-Tay!
>Don't give up!

>> No.8826428

>>8822396
You know what, I'd give it a chance.

An honest chance.

>> No.8826435

where is that op i would love to vackay there one day :)

>> No.8826444

>>8821048
Holy fuck that's boring. Like, shoot-me-in-the-head-life's-empty-and-uneventful boring.

>> No.8826452

>>8822787
>mom you dont understand how I feel!

>> No.8826453

Pork hole, corn hole... whichever it was, didn't matter.

>> No.8826493

>When I was a kid, I thought that the sound of my heartbeats, when I had my head against the pillow, was the sound of some sort of train delivering nightmares.

>> No.8826536

They were the kind of people that always kept 4-ply toilet paper stocked in the bathroom.

>> No.8826545

Michael gayly looked at his gay lover, whilst being gay.

>> No.8826547

Lunch money wasn't the only thing the local delinquent and town bicycle, Holly Barnes, stole from me today - she stole my dignity and ran off with my heart.

>> No.8826585

>>8812623
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8826597 [DELETED] 

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8826615
File: 38 KB, 552x526, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8826615

>>8826597
>cateposting
Fuck off

>> No.8826629

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8826636

>>8819077
What the fuck are you describing me??

>> No.8826723

wow lit really has gone downhill. what the fuck happened?

>> No.8826727

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8826779

>>8812671
Just a sneeze, thats all it took. A single sneeze and then the immense walls of solidified cum he had built around himself came tumbling down, the creamy pearlescent flakes of man juice floating down onto the ground into a pile that seemed like a giant bowl of semen-cereal. A wank-off wheat-bix, ready for the eating.

>> No.8827186

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger.

>> No.8827195

"A duck, you say?"

>> No.8827516

Call me John Self.

>> No.8827518

>>8827516
Hi John Self.

>> No.8827732

>>8812671
Go away evil dogger

>> No.8827828

>>8817710
Mom put on the blinkers, trying to ignore Dad patrolling the waiting room for doctors to growl at.

>> No.8827836

>>8812623
"And then there was light."

>> No.8828469

>>8826545
>repeating gay
wew lad, you've got to try to be a little more creative, use more words, something like this:

Michael Caine, pleased, gave a look to his homosexual partner in crime, all whilst he himself was enamored by what had just taken place here and, in part, by his own preference of men (even better: boys) over women.

>> No.8828537

>"Wanted in all of the fourteen shanadies of Akanth, the condemned is presently found guilty of the crimes of heresy, murder, robbery of citizen, caravans and, or banks, acquiring stolen goods and bank notes, selling stolen goods, arson, and, contrary to the laws of our shanady, the condemned is guilty of possession of one or more unregistered Runes."

It's fantasy in its purest form and I love this shite

>> No.8828985

>>8817653
Only one that made me lol.

>> No.8829064

>>8826545
Kyell Gold?

>> No.8829089

HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YIYIYIYIYIYIyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi HAHAHAHAHAHAHaaaa raaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MAMA CORNFLAKES

maaaaaaaaaaaaaamAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CORNFLAKeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>> No.8829137

>>8822825
>>8822817

It's older than that.

>>/lit/thread/S8470021

So many /lit/ memes were born that day.

>> No.8829181

>>8829137
>never noticed laxnut was the username
>assumed it was a cromulent word meaning something like "oppositely"

>> No.8829303

>>8812623
The only thing she can really be sure of is that those stories he told her last night scared the living shit out of her; they were on his bed, naked, and the sheets were soaked in sweat. He moved anxiously, like a drowning man craving for air and after cumming -she didn't- he started talking and night passed. When she got home, after taking a bath, she wrote everything I told her in a notebook full of "after fuck" stories and for the first time she was horrified by them.