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/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:50:24 2016 No.8701344 [Reply] [Original]

Guys... this is an actual book.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:51:33 2016 No.8701349 DUDE

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:54:13 2016 No.8701356 It's not. It's spam from a hack to make money from giggling retards.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:55:06 2016 No.8701358 >>8701344 It's not bad. Tingle'a early work is better than his late stage

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:57:12 2016 No.8701364 I have read all of them. they are short stories. Here is a list of his works. this cant be real.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 6 23:58:43 2016 No.8701367 File: 846 KB, 999x1031, 1477354514185.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I like it when he gets political.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:02:48 2016 No.8701373 I understand a funny joke, but this dude wrote a short story for every funny name he came up with, He wrote a fucking short story for "pounded in the butt by my own butt". I cant handle reality if this is a part of it.

Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:10:45 2016 No.8701392
File: 52 KB, 313x500, what did he mean by this.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8701373
He also wrote a short story called "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'" and a short story called "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"'"

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:12:04 2016 No.8701395 File: 853 KB, 2066x832, Screen Shot 2016-11-07 at 06.11.26.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8701367 Is he, dare I say it, our guy?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:15:34 2016 No.8701402 File: 866 KB, 1304x1386, the average david mitchell fan.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:20:19 2016 No.8701406 File: 16 KB, 174x231, fug.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8701402 >This American Butt: Hosted by Ira Ass

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:21:04 2016 No.8701410 >>8701395 >...The erotica author finds himself desperate to stay relevant in the ever quickening press cycle This is such gold.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:53:03 2016 No.8701467 File: 617 KB, 463x3717, GiXzBqf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8701373 >He wrote a fucking short story for "pounded in the butt by my own butt" Oh... you have no idea

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 00:58:31 2016 No.8701487 How do you write erotica? I have a pretty good idea for a shitty short story that I could probably sell. How would i pander it to furries? I think it would be a decent market to make a few pennies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:05:18 2016 No.8701502 File: 194 KB, 915x1181, Sonic_sonicx.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8701487 Here's something I wrote a little while back, it should help you.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:06:20 2016 No.8701504 >>8701502 Forgot to include link https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11092829/1/Fifty-Shades-of-Fast-pt1 >>8701502

Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:08:56 2016 No.8701509

>>8701487
With male directed erotica, you need to keep the sex coming. Don't spend too much time on character development in sexless scenes, develop them through their actions.

You're on a timer when you write for men. Their dicks start wilting, they go somewhere else and don't track your future work. So keep the sex/lewdness coming (rule of thumb, never go a full page without something sexy happening), keep the story short and digestible in one sitting (I recommend about 25 pages of 11 point garamond/calibri as a maximum) and keep the content focused.

Female erotica is much easier. Just write a very bad story with some chadly guy and a demure female protagonist that is characterless enough for a woman to self insert as. A few sex scenes and either a wedding or a tearful goodbye and boom, you've got a book.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:09:06 2016 No.8701510 >>8701504 Is this kino?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:11:59 2016 No.8701513 >>8701509 Fucking hell that is too hard. I was just going to write something and call it The Sound of Sweaty Skin Slapping Together Like Someone Clapping Wet Leather Gloves and the Furry.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:13:23 2016 No.8701517 File: 41 KB, 951x633, 06-chuck-tingle.w536.h357.2x[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] This one was my personal favorite. That whole thing was/is such a shitshow.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:14:14 2016 No.8701518 >>8701504 Holy... i want more

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:15:53 2016 No.8701521 >>8701517 >This is what a hugo award nomination means these days

Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:18:30 2016 No.8701525

>>8701510
>>8701518
I wrote this a year ago at 3am while staying over with a friend, annotating it for him as I went. I've moved away from comedy since then, although the more novels I read the more I feel I should re-integrate it into my style, I fear I am becoming too serious.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:20:53 2016 No.8701530 File: 826 KB, 900x3600, umcoh6tn3hvx.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] My gott

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 01:29:05 2016 No.8701544 >>8701525 You gave me the hehehe fastest boner hehehe and when i read it to my body pillow she got moister than an oyster

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 11:12:58 2016 No.8702492 File: 65 KB, 400x500, chucktingle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] He also made a romance counsel book. Unfortunately this is not bound in dino scrotum leather, it just looks that way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 11:24:12 2016 No.8702524 >>8701521 >these days My scholar, monsieur... this is one of the better novels to receive a Hugo Award, not even joking or being ironic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 11:27:48 2016 No.8702529 >>8702524 So are you saying that Mr. Tinkle is an important writer of our era, or that the Hugo is truly retarded, or both?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 14:21:38 2016 No.8703031 >>8701367 I think the choice of which side of the pound coin to anthropomorphize is interesting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 14:29:39 2016 No.8703049 File: 107 KB, 652x960, hagay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8703031

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 14:33:23 2016 No.8703063 >>8703049 >Hard On Mike Hunt

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 14:40:34 2016 No.8703085 >>8703049 >Mike Hunt fucking kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 15:35:18 2016 No.8703275 File: 44 KB, 313x500, 51%2Bb7zAst4L.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] oh shit

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 15:40:57 2016 No.8703300 File: 203 KB, 962x948, 25B0D8D100000578-0-image-m-44_1423996524469.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8703049 >growing up hard >big-tooled mechanic

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 15:42:42 2016 No.8703312 File: 18 KB, 230x346, war and peace.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Guys... this is an actual book.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 15:47:52 2016 No.8703326 >>8703312 Not according to Tolstoy

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 15:54:43 2016 No.8703357 File: 17 KB, 310x339, hegehag.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8701504

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 16:04:32 2016 No.8703390 >>8703049 back door buddies and growing up hard have the best titles

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 16:06:00 2016 No.8703393 >>8701344 hi rebbit

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 16:13:13 2016 No.8703421 >giving this retard money

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 7 16:21:06 2016 No.8703446 >>8701509 I want to read more about this

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 00:38:25 2016 No.8705166 File: 38 KB, 315x500, b5c2c12ebd4428893f95c4160e4373b5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8703049 >No copies of Rape Ape

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 13:57:38 2016 No.8706511 I'm thinking of writing and publishing some erotic fanfic that probably will get me sued, but I don't give a shit. I'm thinking about: Ass Jamming Sand Worms Of Dune or Pounded By Huge Ewok Dick whats you guys think?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 14:01:09 2016 No.8706520 >>8706511 I approve with full zeal.

Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:19:40 2016 No.8706692

>>8706511

Just change some names and you'll probably be good.

I've taken to writing down titles of stuff I want to write in MY DIARY DESU now. One is "Going Back In Time To Kill Hitler But Falling In Love With His Perfect, Sentient Moustache."

I want to write one about vampires but I don't know if "My Tales of an Attractive Vampire That Not Only Sucks Blood But Also My Cock" is a good one.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:23:32 2016 No.8706702 >>8706692 >"My Tales of an Attractive Vampire That Not Only Sucks Blood But Also My Cock" I like how it has "my" in it twice, to really underscore how self-indulgent it is. Dude this is gold. I'm preparing to write your Hugo nomination.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:24:49 2016 No.8706707 >>8706511 Seriously what is Ass Jamming?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:27:07 2016 No.8706714 >>8706702 Thanks man, I'll graciously accept as long as I can bend over and receive it into my BUTT.

>>	Chuck Tingles !!2i8UxIJSKXi Tue Nov 8 15:27:16 2016 No.8706716 guy has a knack for good literature

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:28:46 2016 No.8706721 >>8706714 That's a given, naturally.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:30:16 2016 No.8706725 >>8706721 I hope that's not the only thing I'll be given.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:33:30 2016 No.8706731 >>8706707 I dunno, I just remember seeing the word Jamming a lot in pornos.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:37:18 2016 No.8706737 A little more obscure one but. Dracs Buttered My Anus With Cum Dracs beings the character Louis Gossett Jr. played in the mediocre sci-fi movie Enemy Mine.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:37:18 2016 No.8706738 >>8706731 I suppose so. It is multi-layered that way. Like a band improvising together, or like in "Log Jammin," referenced in The Big Labowski.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:41:39 2016 No.8706749 Paint My Colon White, Quentin Compson. This one gets draws in the more literary crowd.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:42:18 2016 No.8706751 Why don't we all just write shitty erotica and make some extra money and promote each other on Amazon or some shit? It can be like an erotic racket.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 15:44:28 2016 No.8706756 >>8706751 They've tried it before. Or...at least the same idea has came up in threads before.

Anonymous Tue Nov 8 21:10:46 2016 No.8707507

Cracked tosses up an article about Weird Erotica now and again...here are a few...

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1772-180-books-counting-adventures-kindle-porn-author.html

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-5-most-baffling-genres-romance-novell.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_17626_the-5-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-comics.html

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 21:12:10 2016 No.8707510 >>8707507 >http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-5-most-baffling-genres-romance-novel.html Fixed

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 22:12:06 2016 No.8707617 >>8706751 That hypno CYOA I'm writing is going to make me all of the money. You guys wait. I'll buy you all a copy of infinite jest as a gift once I'm drowning in hypnofantasy peoples money.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 23:30:42 2016 No.8707733 >>8702529 >that the Hugo is truly retarded This. It did not used to be retarded, but then SJWs happened.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 8 23:44:15 2016 No.8707741 >>8707733 Politicizing in general happened; the Puppy faggots were equally bad for it

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