/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.8654085]

This just happened to me and I can't bear to tell anyone in real life, so I'm just going to tell you guys.

A friend of mine came over, let's call him Bob, and he brought his cousin with him. His cousin is a guy our age but he was very handsome and tan and large; not tall, but he looked like he worked out a lot. His arms were huge. They came into my room, the cousin was wearing sunglasses, and immediately the cousin noticed my bookshelf.
"Yeah, he reads a lot," said my friend to his cousin.
The cousin whipped his sunglasses off and was like, "God damn you have a lot of books." He pulled one from the shelf. "You read this one?" Literary Theory: An Introduction by Terry Eagleton.
"Actually, I haven't," I said, "I was going to take a literary theory class in college but then I found it wasn't required, so—"
While I was talking he'd pulled another one. "This one?" Moby-Dick.
I smiled sheepishly. "No, not yet, that—that's a pretty difficult book, I'm working up to it. I think maybe next year—"
He pulled another one.
"Infinite Jest," he read the cover.
"I started that one, but I just—"
"The Brothers Karamazov, you read this one?"
"Not yet."
"A Farewell to Arms."
"No."
"White Noise."
"No."
"The Royal Family."
"No."
"The Norton Anthology of English Literature."
"Well, that's an anthology, you're not really supposed to—"
He was tossing books over his back now. "The Fabric of the Cosmos."
"No."
"The Perennial Philosophy."
"No."
"Leonardo da Vinci: Flights of the Mind."
"No."
"This is a medical dictionary. Are you studying medicine?"
"No."
"The Bible."
"No."
"Irrational Man."
"No."
"Madame Bovary."
"No."
"Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami."
"I did read that."
"The Concise Oxford English Dictionary. Do you even speak English?"
"I—"
By the time we were done almost every book on my bookshelf was in a pile across the room. Finally my friend's cousin stood up, put on his sunglasses, and said "Let's get out of here." My friend curled his lips and patted me on the shoulder. "Sorry, man," he said, and they both left.
I went over to the pile of books and started replacing them on the shelf.

[Anonymous No.8654107]

>>8654085
Maybe you should read a book fag

[Anonymous No.8654112]

>>8654085

I'm glad you didn't lie, anon.

[Anonymous No.8654114]

I believe that you are memeing but if this happened it was well deserved.

[Anonymous No.8654144]

>>8654085
>"I did read that."

[Anonymous No.8654221]

>>8654085
Its easier to buy books than read them, if you really want to not feel this way again the only solution is to read. I found myself in your shoes a while ago and just decided to read more and now I'm doing a lot better.

[Anonymous No.8654273]

>>8654112
>not teleologically suspending the categorical imperative to impress your friends