/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.8651216]

How do I stop feeling guilty about not working non stop? Apart from things all humans do plus going to the gym, I feel guilty about any of my habits. And I have no goals.

I want to read books but I feel guilty about reading a set number of pages a day. I am worried about being called a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring Western canon novels. I feel like an ADD pleb for rarely reading more than 60 pages at a time. I hate that I'm more likely to put a book down at the end of a chapter.

Similarly for working. I know I could always be working to become better off. I know that people who talk about taking breaks are just lying to themselves. I feel bad for not having the willpower necessary to wotk non stop on one thing for 10 hours.

And the funny thing is that I'm a Stirnerite. When you stay unspooked then everyone else's belief system feels like a personal attack. Fuck these people who say that X is so important. X is always working hard / enjoying yourself / focusing on one thing / focusing on many things / reading history / classics / philosophy / other shit.

The awful thing is that I know everyone else is a fraud. That NFL player who everyone loves and says is hardworking has never read a book. That mathematics professor known as a genius is a disgusting dyel. That literary figures who goes on about Shakespeare being a god doesn't know any maths or science greater than an 18 year old yet claims to be worldly. That billionaire who goes on about humanity's big issues does nothing but write checks for people who make social media apps.

[Anonymous No.8651385]

>>8651216
Realize that your problems started in childhood, probably your parents demanded great or impossible tasks from you and you occasionally (or often) failed and then they would punish you. As an adult you keep re-enacting this cycle of exceedingly high standards and the eventual failure, and of course the self attack that comes with the failure. Thats just my guess though.

Wanting and expecting greatness is a... great... thing but not if it comes from a dysfunctional forces place like your current situation, I'd suggest talk therapy to solve your problem.

Inb4 meme reply

[Anonymous No.8651760]

Are you me?

I've come to embrace it, to work as much as I can and to strive for greatness. I find more meaning in this work more than anything else.

Ask yourself whether you really want to work less or not. The guilt can be a nice tool to push yourself a bit. If you know your limits, you can reduce the guilt by remembering yourself that pushing yourself beyond your limits is counterproductive.

[Anonymous No.8651809]

>>8651385
This anon is right. Get therapy. In a book called Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young they have a chapter that seems to be about what you are describing OP.

17. UNRELENTING STANDARDS / HYPERCRITICALNESS (US)

The underlying belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, usually to avoid criticism. Typically results in feelings of pressure or difficulty slowing down; and in hypercriticalness toward oneself and others. Must involve significant impairment in: pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem, sense of accomplishment, or satisfying relationships.
Unrelenting standards typically present as: (a) perfectionism, inordinate attention to detail, or an underestimate of how good one's own performance is relative to the norm; (b) rigid rules and “shoulds” in many areas of life, including unrealistically high moral, ethical, cultural, or religious precepts; or (c) preoccupation with time and efficiency, so that more can be accomplished.

Good luck

[Anonymous No.8651818]

>>8651216
>frog faggot
>not spooked the fuck out

Nice meme

[Anonymous No.8651823]

>>8651818
What did he meme by this?

[Anonymous No.8652165]

guilt is a secret way of fulfilling your desire for self-absorbption. love yourself, and you won't need to obsess over yourself

[Anonymous No.8652831]

jesus christ i've been thinking all of this for the past month, but haven't been able to fully come to terms with what I have been feeling

I see my friends more successful financially than me, and i still think of them as frauds

i have so many plans on making money, reading stirner made me feel okay with breaking the law to make money, but i am not bad off enough yet to actually do anything

i hear all this motivational talk and shit from people around me and i want to puke

i am genuinely thinking about killing myself, i feel like people who have minds like this can't live happily, if only I weren't so scared of death

am i an edgy fag?