/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.8611849]

>professor begins laughing at you

[Anonymous No.8611855]

>professor pulls his dick out and sticks it in another student's face.

[Anonymous No.8611862]

>professor stares at you throughout the entire lecture with a visible erection throughout

[Anonymous No.8611879]

>tfw professor starts molesting you
>tfw home schooled

[Anonymous No.8611886]

>tfw home schooled
>tfw molesting professors

[Anonymous No.8611895]

>tfw home professor
>tfw molesting schools

[Anonymous No.8611897]

I've never had access to college education.

[Anonymous No.8611900]

>>8611879
Booooooo

[Anonymous No.8611908]

>professor loudly asks if you had a good night when you stumble into class visibly hungover

[Anonymous No.8611912]

>Start job as home schooling professor
>Student starts complaining about teacher molesting them
>They aint complaining any more

[Anonymous No.8611913]

>>8611908
>the tosses a pair of underwear at you and says, "you left these btw,"

[Anonymous No.8611947]

>talking in class

[Anonymous No.8611956]

>professor has Celiac disease and farts all day, every day

[Anonymous No.8611970]

>Professor has lived here for 40 years.
>Can't speak english for shit.
>Also penis and balls are pretty visible through his obnoxiously tight, plaid pants

[Anonymous No.8612043]

>Professor uses his erection as a pointer during his lesson

[Anonymous No.8612069]

>>8611913
golf clap

[Anonymous No.8612076]

>professor tells you to check your privilege.

[Anonymous No.8612080]

>>8611970
>plaid pants
I bet he thinks it makes him eccentric

[Anonymous No.8612104]

>professor gives you asmr

[Anonymous No.8612132]

>>8612104
Semi-relevant, what is the difference between a lecturer with a relaxing/calming voice and one that puts you to sleep? Is it just the subject matter being engaging or is it something about the way they speak?

[Anonymous No.8612142]

>>8612132
The aura in which the spirit emits though the particles are invisible they are truly tangible with sufficient discovery in magickal quality thus you are to see the Self and distinguish the lines from nonlines

[Anonymous No.8612143]

>>8611849
I can feel the feminine energy from these pics

[Anonymous No.8612147]

>>8612043
ya I hate it when they do that

[Anonymous No.8612151]

>>8612132
Strength. If a voice is feeble

[Anonymous No.8612156]

>professor is a Marxist.

[whoa No.8612160]

>>8612142
whoa

[Anonymous No.8612167]

>Professor stands on his desk.
>Squats down.
>Proceeds to take a 5 minute, splattery wet shit.
>Then takes out a laser pointer and points to particular chunks, comparing each student in the class to different ones.

[Anonymous No.8612170]

>Professor points and laughs
>"Hahaha, Jesus"
>Jesus weeps on his painted toenails

[Anonymous No.8612178]

>>8612167
Nice.

[Anonymous No.8612184]

>professor walks around Chicago
>feels like shit

[Anonymous No.8612185]

>professor delights in reminiscing over times women were subordinated to men

[Anonymous No.8612189]

>professor is clearly drunk and keeps making slurping noises and doesn't seem to know what he's talking about.
fucking gamestop

[Anonymous No.8612190]

>Professor greets the class every day by kicking the classroom door in and shooting blanks from twin .45 pistols at the students.

>Then seamlessly proceeds with his lecture.

[Anonymous No.8612196]

>Tenured Professor puases mid-lecture and says hes has a guest speaker who came to talk today
>takes the microphone pinned to his shirt and moves it to his ass and farts loudly

[Anonymous No.8612203]

>>8612184
The band????

[Anonymous No.8612207]

>>8612203
The who?

[Anonymous No.8612208]

>professor is a ventriloquist
>his dummy is unemployed

[Anonymous No.8612213]

>>8612190
>After major tests the professor always walks into class and shoots the lowest scoring students
>people sometimes skip class the day after tests, traveling hundreds, even thousands of miles away overnight to avoid the prof
>But the prof always finds em

[Anonymous No.8612214]

>>8612207
No..

[Anonymous No.8612228]

>>8612190
This is the best

[Anonymous No.8612242]

>Slut Studies professor.
>Big fat, hairy, blue haired, old bitch who nobody wants to fuck.
>We all have to to pass.

[Anonymous No.8612248]

>professor sprouts visible erection while reading William Blake

Retire already Harold

[Anonymous No.8612249]

>professor gives an example to demonstrate his point by telling a story in which he incidentally reveals that he hosts swinger parties with his fellow faculty members
>but is too engaged in thought to realize

[Anonymous No.8612265]

>Professor would give demonstrations on how to search for books using the school's library site.
>"I'll just plug in...oh...I dunno, first thing to come to my mind here...oh I know, I'll search for the book that I wrote! Oh, there it is, hey it's even checked out! Haha, I thought nobody cared about it!"

I worked in the library, fucker did this on a weekly basis....he also checked out his own book, so it wouldn't look so pathetic.

[Anonymous No.8612288]

>>8612213
>Professor always tells the same story at the end of the semester
>one time, there was one who got away
>He searched for years but after awhile it got in the way of his teaching, and he had to quit her.
>He recalls a time back in 1987, he was in thailand searching for one of his students who attempted to flee
>He met a women by the name of Charlene, who had been moving around the world since she was young
>when the prod asked her why, she told him that she was being chased, constantly, but she forgot who was after her, or why
>She and the prof hit it off, making intense love that night over the corpse of his marked student
>25 years later anf the prof has been married to this woman for 23
>Its late at night and hes sitting down reading, puts his book looking over the dusty records of all his kills pre 1985, it had layed derelict in his drawer since then.
>His humble old wife, still graceful in her age, is beatiful to the professor, the love of his life, the only thing he cares about more than academia, calls him to bed
>He looks over the record and notices the one he missed all those years ago
>Her face, so familiar, so... endearing
>he pauses for a moment and looks at the framed picture of his wife sitting on his desk
>He looks back at the record
>It couldn't be
>not after all these years
>He took out his .375 magnum and loaded it with a single bullet, all that was needed
>He looked up towards his bedroom, then looked back down at his wifes portrait, nodded to himself, and went up stairs
>He entered the darkened bedroom with his gun already trained on his target, missing for 35 years
>"Honey is that you?" She said, sleepily, comfortably, "you coming to bed jusy yet?"
>His wife turns on the nightlight and she can't quite see the prof, just a faint visage
>she stares straight down the barrel and the looks upon her husbands dark figure
>"I didn't mean to lie to you!" She said sheepishly, "I was just looking out for myself. But after that night, I couldn't leave your side, I knew you were the one for me. I love you, I love you more than anything and if you kill me now I'll understand."
>The prof cocked the gun and his wife continued "If you really love me, just get it over with now. I Just wish we had more time to spend together."
>The prof stepped into the light, revealing tears streaming down from his face. He took the gun and put it on his own forehead, and pulled the trigger
>The prof woke up the next day in a hospital bed. Someone had called an ambulance for him, but when they arrived he was the only one there
>He recovered slowly, but after a coulle years he was back on the job like normal, still teaching
>He still searches for her, to this day
>He says he intends to kill her, but every time he gets to that line he chokes up a little.

[Anonymous No.8612292]

>>8612242
And you know what "passing" is, if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.8612299]

>>8612292
Dying?

[Anonymous No.8612301]

>>8611849
>thesis class of 5
>i tried critiquing stories, nobody would listen
>2 were poorly written dramas, one backed with a family of divorcees who don't need no man
>comedy, which was actually kinda funny but pointless
>comedy
>self insert handicap motivational story, was not that bad really
>mine
>drama of man building a house for family on old family property in the boonies
>high praise from department
>starts of great
>get shit feedback from classmates like, "make him more macho man, like a mans man" or "the wife should really be harsher to the husband"
>eventually i give up on class
>story is still ok, hanging in there barely
>have to leave for orgo lab that went on at same time, when thesis was moved one day
>professor is upset
>"its not like you have anything to say anyway"
fuck you, at least i was praised for my work in the science department. top of the class, and the bio professor loved that i was a creative writing major. liberal arts is a joke.

[Anonymous No.8612312]

>african american studies
>professor is white lady

[Anonymous No.8612318]

>>8612288

Kind of funny, but editing dude. Editing.

[Anonymous No.8612335]

>>8611897
youtube dot com senpai

[Anonymous No.8612360]

>>8611849
>professor dies

happened to me last week

[Anonymous No.8612362]

>>8611849
When I was in 10th grade, I asked my history teacher what a martyr is and she laughed at me. I asked again and she asked if I was serious or not.
What a bitch

[Anonymous No.8612374]

>walking through double doors
>see old proffesor with white beard and jet black fedora on the other side of the door on his way to class
>open the door to go through
>go through
>stand there for 3 seconds holding the door open for fedora man
>was doing the old fuck a favor
>he goes through the other door
>has to open it himself

I swear to god, if I see that old fuck around I again I'm going to ram into him and say "Watch out, faggot."

[Anonymous No.8612381]

>>8612374

No need my man, you got some pretty sweet revenge by bitching about it in your post.

[Anonymous No.8612387]

>>8612381
no, he's fucking dead

[Anonymous No.8612396]

>professor of economics starts banging sophomore
>eventually gets caught by wife who is a professor teaching English lit

He had to learn how to divide his assets in half

[Anonymous No.8612403]

>professor likes you
:D

[Anonymous No.8612416]

>>8612196
lost

[Anonymous No.8612419]

>>8612362
At least she didn't tell you to make a martyr of yourself.

[Anonymous No.8612423]

wow, this thread is hilarious

[Anonymous No.8612451]

>>8612403
How big is his dick?

[Anonymous No.8612468]

>>8612451
You know what they say about people with advanced degrees...

[Anonymous No.8612482]

>professor doesn't say anything to you because you don't go to college

[Anonymous No.8612503]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

[Anonymous No.8612507]

>>8612468
they have a teeny penee?

[Anonymous No.8612518]

>>8611908
>tfw professor smugly acknowledges the desolate, neo-Hobbesian battlefield of collegiate hookup culture
>ignore the lecture and wallow in misanthropy

[Anonymous No.8612532]

>>8612104
>tfw literally took a gender studies paper just so I could listen to the professor's voice because she felt so good to listen to

[Anonymous No.8612710]

>the professor briefly makes eye contact as you lower your head in panic and shame

[Anonymous No.8612714]

>>8611849
Are you kid a or kid b?

[Anonymous No.8612789]

>>8612249
elaborate unless you're memeing

[Anonymous No.8613918]

>>8612362
I wish my classes were like that. I remember the best student not knowing what a mercenary was after the teacher asked her. At the time she was reading Candid and shit. That's why I frown upon every Enlightenment [*tips*] classic. She wants to have coffee with me nowadays. I'm not going, though she gives me a hard-on

[Anonymous No.8613925]

>>8612396