/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.8433733]

Is he, dare I say it, our guy?

[Anonymous No.8433745]

I actually like his literature videos, I just wish he was not such a political cunt.

[Anonymous No.8433758]

>>8433745

>actually like his literature videos

Reported for being underaged.

[Anonymous No.8433774]

>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”
>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

[Anonymous No.8433778]

>>8433774
>During the week of July 29, 2012, Looking for Alaska broke into the New York Times best seller list at number ten in Children's Paperback

[Anonymous No.8433788]

>>8433774
>Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
I always find this curious. He wishes to be entirely substituted for the phallic object, like his whole body felated. Is this a subtle reference to the whole women not having a phallus are the phallus in Lacan's thinking?

[Anonymous No.8433798]

>>8433774
>Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
I keked, is this really in there?

[Anonymous No.8433828]

>>8433798
Yeah, and he won an award for it.

[Anonymous No.8433849]

>>8433733
I'm not personally a huge fan of his books, but I got to meet him and his brother back in 2014.
They seemed nice enough.

[Anonymous No.8433859]

>>8433774
John Green excerpt thread?

[Anonymous No.8433862]

>>8433859
Sounds good.

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

[Anonymous No.8433863]

I love how all this dislike of certain people on 4chan results in users actively meming them up to a point of increased popularity or at least increased awareness of their existence.

Would I know about this ordinary writer if it wasn't for 4chan: no.

Though someone like Slavoj Zizek or Stirner are not necessarily controversial they can just be used as jokes in other ways.

Interesting.

[Anonymous No.8433870]

>>8433774
I bet John has a lot of experience giving blowjobs

[Anonymous No.8433886]

>>8433733
No

[Anonymous No.8433924]

>>8433870
To underage girls no less

[Anonymous No.8433929]

>>8433745
>I like his literature videos
wew lad....those things are cringe central, and his opinion on literature is laughable.

Get out.

[Anonymous No.8433937]

>>8433745
>Also, I would like to see equal attention given to the sexism in popular work by men, from Nicholas Sparks to for instance J. D. Salinger. Catcher in the Rye—although I like it very much—is profoundly and disturbingly misogynistic and yet seems to get a critical pass both online and off. This happens a lot, I think, with books by men, and I don't want male writers (including me!) to get that pass.

[Anonymous No.8433954]

>>8433937
I always laugh at excerpts from John Greene, they're a nice meme. But, this is the one thing that legitimately makes me mad.

Gender can be an interesting topic in literature, though not one that i'm personally interested in; but sexism is just fucking retarded: it's the same thing as calling authors from the 1800s racist, which is ridiculous and extremely plebeian.

Obligatory REEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.8433971]

>>8433733
if i were to make a banner representing /lit/ he would definitely be on there and be huge.

[Anonymous No.8434215]

>>8433954
I think you can definitely acknowledge sexism/racism/etc.'s presence within older works, and I fail to see what problem there would be with that. You can even criticize it as long as it's clear you are criticizing it by our current societal standards.

[Anonymous No.8434258]

This guy John Green - whew - I mean this guy is like some kind of come to life I swear.

[Anonymous No.8434395]

>>8433862
>He actually thought he was being clever writing this.

Very good Johnny, go play with your crayons now.

[Anonymous No.8434404]

>>8433774
I'm almost certain he was a virgin when he wrote this.

[Anonymous No.8434442]

>>8434395
Its like something a precocious 12 year old would look back on writing when he was 11 and cringe at his younger self.

[Anonymous No.8434448]

/lit/ is truly united on one issue: this nimrod.

[Anonymous No.8434471]

Guys just stop reading books for kids and teenagers. It'll be okay.

[Anonymous No.8434498]

>tfw he will die very very soon

[Anonymous No.8434634]

>>8434498
good

[Anonymous No.8434708]

>>8434498
>all that crap on his shelves

never understand why people insist on collecting pure junk.

[Anonymous No.8435137]

>>8433733
I recently watched one if those Crash Course videos he does. This one was about Lord of the Flies.

At the very end, after going on and on about how humanity is better than portrayed in the book (I disagree) he had the audacity to call the whole thing sexist because there are no female characters. He also stated that he believed that it might've turned out differently if there were female characters, that it wouldn't have been so grisly.

So, to put it shortly, he is not my guy, no.

He is however, a fool.

[Anonymous No.8435144]

ALL HAIL JOHN GREEN

POPE OF THE BANAL PLATITUDE

FUHRER OF FALSE AUTHENTICITY

HARBINGER OF THE MILLENNIAL TWEEN GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER END

"YEA, I SAY UNTO YOU THAT EVEN A 37 YEAR OLD MAN CAN BE A 17 YEAR OLD BOY, IF HE BUT RETARDS HIS MIND AND SPIRIT BY READING MY GOOD WORKS"
TWITTER 2:13

"GO FORTH, AND FEEL INDIVIDUATED EVEN WHEN YOU AREN'T; I SAY, GO FORTH, AND FEEL LIKE A TORTURED GENIUS WHEN YOU ARE BUT A TEENAGE GIRL"
EPISTLES TO REDDIT 12:21

"AND TO BE HOLY: IS IT NOT TO BE QUIRKY? AND TO BE QUIRKY: IS IT NOT TO BE EMPTILY EXCITABLE, JOKELESSLY SARDONIC?"
THE GOSPEL OF ALASKA 142:3

[Anonymous No.8435147]

>"The thing Alaska did next scared and shocked and surprised me in a way nothing had ever ever scared or shocked or surprised me until that moment, a moment which lasted no longer than one sharp intake of breath but one I have no doubt will last my entire life. She said 'I love you'. Not 'You're cool' or 'I had a really fun time' or 'Do you always kiss like that?' I love you. As in 'I, Alaska Young, love you, Miles Halter'. As in 'I Alaska Young have not only noticed that you Miles Halter exist but I positively adore the fact that you do'. I exhaled. Alaska did too and for the first time I realized she was as scared as I was of admitting the way she felt. I stepped forward and held her hips. 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'I think so!' she replied, smiling. I must have pushed her backwards because just then her body nudged the lightswitch and the room became as dark as my life was without Alaska in it. Laughing, she slipped out of my grasp and disappeared somewhere inside the room. I reached out like a blind man searching for the object that might grant him sight. Truly, I was Looking for Alaska."

[Anonymous No.8435181]

>>8435137
did he really say that? im looking this video up now.

[Anonymous No.8435184]

>>8435147

[Anonymous No.8435192]

>>8435147
that hurt to read

[Anonymous No.8435207]

>>8433971
he would be a big guy for us?

[Anonymous No.8435220]

>>8435147
this better not be real

[Anonymous No.8435232]

>Alaska began to talk about how fascinating it was to cough. Sneezing was much the same thing. You kept on wanting to sneeze until you simply couldn’t stand it any longer; you looked as if you were tipsy; you drew a couple of breaths, then out it came, and you forgot everything else in the bliss of the sensation. Sometimes the explosion repeated itself two or three times. That was the sort of pleasure life gave you free of charge.

[Anonymous No.8435447]

>>8435147
i don't think this is actually him desu

[Anonymous No.8435450]

>>8435232
>>8435447
nor this

[Anonymous No.8435459]

>>8435207
If I pull of his glasses, will he cry?

[Anonymous No.8435476]

>>8435207
Not as huge as Orson Welles.

[Anonymous No.8435501]

>>8433863
Welcome to the post-internet era. The idea that there is no such thing as bad press is now in active use for people who have been dead for years because of memes. Stirner continues to work his agenda on the Earth solely through ironic shitposting, which (surprise) is a spook in itself.

[Anonymous No.8435526]

>>8433862
Someone post the Cormac version.

[Anonymous No.8435553]

>>8435450
>>8435447
>>8435220
>>8435192

Afraid they're word for word, chaps.

[Anonymous No.8435556]

>>8435501
>ironic shitposting, which (surprise) is a spook in itself.
>implying ironic shitposting isn't completely in my self interest
>implying ironic shitposting isn't the ultimate expression of the creative nothing
Our thunderbolt could unhinge the present reality, rip open the door to the unknown mystery of our longed for dream and show the supreme beauty of the liberated man. Because we are mad forerunners of the time. Shitposters supreme.

[Anonymous No.8435565]

>>8435501
It will be interesting seeing what Slavoj Zizek's legacy will be once he passes away. Is he a one time meme? Will he be memed on and so on and so on?

I have yet to grasp the legacy of the New Atheists, for all it spawned so far was a particular kind of nerd culture.

Interesting times ahead.

[Anonymous No.8435566]

>>8433862
See that fellow in Barnaby's eating a breakfast platter at. What time? Yes three bong just now so perhaps a quarter past. Funny we don't do that more often. Full Irish breakfast bad for kidneys they say; too much protein. But good for soul. O, O, O, the boys of Kilkenny, O. Suppose he smells like a full Irish all day. But after all why not? He crossed O'Connell, skipping at cracked intervals. Skip. Break your mother's. Don't do that now people are watching, bloody fool. Last one's a rotten egg. But on the egg subject, why not eat them at lunch? Dinner, even? Cheap and nutritious, hens packed together tight as matches pumping them out day in day out. Give them to poor, start an initiative. Which came first, the British or poverty? Haha

In an alley a ragged boy was making chalk designs, boy and chalk standing out against the dark in a uniform pallor. Egg plan could help him, for example. Give him a coin? No, do him no good. Just be respectful. Now there's a cracked egg. Doomed before he was born. Predestination, into the streets or into the frying pan. Out of the frying pan, into. But what am I saying sympathizing with eggs?

He sighed heavily.

[Anonymous No.8435611]

>>8435137
I'm watching it. He just said it's problematic that when Jack and his crew start acting like savages, they wear face paint and use spears.

Now he's said "If people are inherently evil, why don't Piggy and Ralph join Jack's gang?"

He said that it's sexist how they kill the only female character, a pig.

I hear they play these videos in public schools these days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfNiQBXmPw8

[Anonymous No.8435660]

>>8433862
for fuck's sake

[Anonymous No.8435752]

I wanted to watch one of his videos to see what he would have to say about a controversial book. I started watching his Huck Finn video but soon found a new interest.
as I was zoning out in the video I noticed one of the pictures he used as a slide to represent a library looked familiar to me.
going back to see, I think I recognize it as the old public library in my hometown.
There's an art exhibit in my town that sits in the old public library built by Andrew Carnegie in the early 20th century.
my question is, could some anon who knows how to actually use the internet help me find out if this is actually a picture from inside the Carnegie Public Library in North Tonawanda NY?

[Anonymous No.8435772]

>>8435752
find email associated with library
send email with image asking if this is there
say please and thank you etc.
ez

[Anonymous No.8435788]

>>8435772
that would work if it were still a functioning building, but it's pretty much never used now.
its just an art gallery that the school system and a few local places used every once in awhile.

[Anonymous No.8435841]

>>8435611
>>8435137

I'm laughing at this because it won't make tumblr hate Lord of the Flies any more than they already hate John Green.

[Anonymous No.8435869]

>>8435841
All of his fans are on tumblr. He's huge on tumblr.

[Anonymous No.8435972]

>>8435526
Pa. Why are eggs breakfast?

What.

You can put bacon on lunch.

Ye.

But if you put eggs on stuff it becomes breakfast?

The man spat and said the eggs are not for this world or from this world they come from the chicken but the chicken knows it not.

He wiped his chin and spat.

[Anonymous No.8436534]

>>8435611
How can one man be so unlikable?

[Anonymous No.8436976]

>>8435972
Post the Seinfeld one.

[Anonymous No.8437074]

>>8435501
>ironic shitposting, which (surprise) is a spook in itself.
Ironic shitposting isn't a spook. How the fuck do people not get such a simple concept.

[Anonymous No.8437416]

>>8435972
holy fuck

[Anonymous No.8437422]

>>8433733
>writes shit lit that appeals to women
>doesn't use that for easy sex

what a fucking dope.

[Anonymous No.8437601]

>>8437422
>>doesn't use that for easy sex
Implying

[Anonymous No.8437951]

>>8433774
>Her voice dripping with seductiveness...

He was in his 20's when he wrote this, right? Couldn't he be the slightest bit creative with this scene?

[Anonymous No.8437967]

>>8437951
He was probably typing with one hand and didn't want to type more than necessary.

[Anonymous No.8437976]

>>8437422
He does.
There are stories about him sleeping with girls from his lectures.

[Anonymous No.8437992]

>>8435566
Hey, someone reposted my thing!

[Anonymous No.8438004]

>>8437992
John Green stuff always gets reposted.

[Anonymous No.8438006]

>>8438004
Do not disturb my modicum of pride.

[Anonymous No.8438009]

>>8435566
Can someone help this pleb out and tell me whose style this is emulating?

[Anonymous No.8438042]

>Green lived for several years in Chicago, where he worked for the book review journal Booklist as a publishing assistant and production editor while writing Looking for Alaska.[9] While there, he reviewed hundreds of books, particularly literary fiction and books about Islam or conjoined twins.[15]

>Although his novels have earned mostly positive critical reception, Green has discussed what he believes to be flaws in his novels, when he looked at them in retrospect.[36] Additionally, in response to a fan's tweet, Green apologized for using the word retarded in Paper Towns, stating, "Yeah, I regret it. At the time, I thought an author's responsibility was to reflect language as I found it, but now ... eight years later, I don't feel like a book about humanizing the other benefited from dehumanizing language," adding, "it's not in the movie, and I won't use the word again in a book or elsewhere."[37]

What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.8438046]

>>8438009
Obviously James Joyce

[Anonymous No.8438047]

>>8438042
>While there, he reviewed hundreds of books, particularly literary fiction and books about Islam or conjoined twins.
>books about Islam or conjoined twins.

[Anonymous No.8438056]

>>8438042

[Anonymous No.8438841]

>>8438009
That's a passage of Joyce mimicking the style of Green's infamous "breakfast scene"

[Anonymous No.8438860]

>>8438056
Kek

[Anonymous No.8438954]

>>8433745
he did a good vid on frankenstein

[Anonymous No.8439392]

>>8435147
>Truly, I was Looking for Alaska
TRULY

[Anonymous No.8439410]

>>8435972
Jesus FUCK

[Anonymous No.8439418]

>>8435147
>'I Alaska Young have not only noticed that you Miles Halter exist but I positively adore the fact that you do'
Beautiful prose

[Anonymous No.8439457]

>>8433745
I'm subscribed to Crash Course

desu

[Anonymous No.8439509]

>>8439457
His Great Gatsby videos aren't too bad except for his "Open Letter" segment where he talks about whatever political or social idea is on his mind. His passion for literature comes across, and it reminds me how much I love that novel, despite how obnoxious his persona is. Too bad he can't write anything worth reading.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw9Au9OoN88
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn0WZ8-0Z1Y

[Anonymous No.8439519]

>>8439509
The comments are just pathetic though.

[Anonymous No.8439885]

>>8433788
Freud would have a field day with this shit.

[Anonymous No.8439897]

I heard he'll only eat a bowl of Cheerios if there has been 37 dicks in them.

[Anonymous No.8440017]

>>8435611
>I hear they play these videos in public schools these days.

Dear god, I hope not. He doesn't do too bad breaking down themes and stuff, not that its hard, but he ruins the whole thing by injecting his opinions too strongly.

Also, thanks for straightening out my misquote of him. I watched it a couple weeks ago, so I wasn't entirely clear. probably should've mentioned that.

Obviously I disagree with his opinions, but I think he gets Lord of the Flies all wrong. Always struck me that the core message was not "People are bad and do bad things" as most people think, but rather that although most people are bad, there is good in the world, and although good is often overcome by evil, that doesn't mean it doesn't pay to be good. I think he hit the nail on the head with the ending though, when he says that the adult soldiers who arrive a metaphor for "adult" evils, although he once again mixed it with his politic.

Nice dubs.

>>8435841
Tumblr adores Greene. Most of his fans are kids on Tumblr. It also helps that he has popular left-leaning opinions.

[Anonymous No.8440031]

>>8435147
Fucking hell, this is the kind of bullshit he falls asleep fantasizing about.

[Anonymous No.8440050]

ITT: We read our favourite piece of literature (poem, prose, lyrics, etc.) or anything that you want to read aloud, really.

vocaroo.com

I'll start:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PsSSIlkefv

>You, by Lang Leav

(Excuse the shite mic).

[Anonymous No.8440060]

>>8435869
He's just about as made fun of on tumblr as he is here tbqh

[Anonymous No.8440083]

>>8440017
They play the history crash course videos all the time which is even worse with the opinions. He's also provably wrong about facts in half of them.

[Anonymous No.8440161]

>>8437992
you are a good writer, anon

is there anywhere I could read more?

[Anonymous No.8440196]

>>8440083
That's too bad. Kids should be given straight facts and be taught to think for themselves.

[Anonymous No.8440340]

>>8439392
HE
WAS
LOOKING
FOR
ALASKA

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT THIS ENRAGES ME SO MUCH.
It's like I can hear a laughing track and the Seinfeld theme on the background after that one.

[Anonymous No.8440341]

>>8439509
>"Open Letter" segment
In his video for The Odyssey, doesn't he give an open letter to "the patriarchy"?

[Anonymous No.8440347]

>>8440340
That passage is just a parody. The last line is supposed to clue you in. John's bad, but he's not that bad.

[Anonymous No.8440348]

>>8438056
>cuckoldry

[Anonymous No.8440351]

>>8440347
he is in fact that bad

[Anonymous No.8440410]

>>8440017
Green generally has very shallow readings of texts, which isn't necessarily bad, considering that he's basically doing Cliffnotes in video format. However, his own commentary is only slightly less shallow School of Resentment-tier thinking that passes itself off as depth. This isn't a surprise from someone who majored in English at Kenyon, a liberal arts college, in the 90s, when this form of literary criticism was at its peak popularity.

He is the tragic result of a generation of literature (and some other humanities) majors becoming schooled in this fad. He does history videos too, and it just sounds like he's trying to score political points when he says things like Alexander "the Great" is sexist because, throughout history, men were referred to as "great" more than women were.

[Anonymous No.8440434]

>>8440410
>it just sounds like he's trying to score political points when he says things like Alexander "the Great" is sexist because, throughout history, men were referred to as "great" more than women were.
That's exactly what he is doing. His twitter makes me feel physical anguish to read when he gets into a political mood. Its torturous.

[Anonymous No.8440452]

>>8435147
this isn't real, dumbfucks

[Anonymous No.8440467]

>>8435147
that was actually really good

[Anonymous No.8440525]

Is he a symptom or a cause of dangerously low testosterone levels in the west?

[Anonymous No.8440544]

>>8440410
>more than women were

I wonder if maybe that's because there were more male rulers? What about Catherine the Great? What about other powerful female leaders.

Good god.

I don't /want/ to dislike the man, but he makes it difficult to do anything else.

[Anonymous No.8440597]

>>8435566

The Old Ones were long suffering slaves to the eldritch rituals of their faceless masters.

One such ritual, named The Breaking of the Eternal Fast, involved a macabre amount of live flesh, and the ovum from an avian race long since passed into oblivion.

I spake to the grave, pallid librarian who produced the unholy texts of the Mad Arab, that there was a ritual of another name that shared the same rites, and demanded the same sacrifice.

His morbid figure receded into the amorphous dark of that forbidden library. If this blasphemous confrontation be my desire, then this damned, wretched soul would only support me from afar.

[Anonymous No.8441134]

>>8440525
He's probably both, sadly.

[Anonymous No.8441332]

>>8438042
>I thought an author's responsibility was to reflect language as I found it,

It certainly makes the dialogue less forced as fuck

[Anonymous No.8441373]

[Anonymous No.8441384]

>>8440544
Do you think his fans care about facts? They just want hear their own views echoed back, without actually thinking about them.

[Anonymous No.8441434]

>>8435144
is this oc

[Anonymous No.8441441]

>>8433774
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Anonymous No.8441460]

>>8441434
Please wait another month before asking such questions.

[Anonymous No.8441566]

>>8441434
It's a classic Green copypasta. Along with this:

>He's the worst kind of "nerd", the type that self-identify as such and who wear tshirts with "Nerd" across the tshirt as if they're so happy to embody what is essentially a character-type invented by mainstream media to split human beings into demographics based not on race or some objectively measurable thing but on cultural subgroups whose Platonic form is represented in movies and tv shows. It's disgusting. An aspergic Nazi engineer who works in complete isolation and is obsessed with creating a complex machine to kill jews etc is more of a "nerd" than a guy who talks in a falsely expressive voice on youtube about how neat Star Wars is. It's exactly the same as the word "Punk", which pretty much refers to anybody who is willing to be independent despite drawing the negative attention of other people and "the norm". Now it's all about wearing spiked jackets and living in a squat with a bunch of HIV sufferers. Both Nerd and Punk should be mentalities, not physical descriptors or means of self-definition. He's a nu-male beta cuck using the "Nerd" image to trick impressionable girls into overlooking his obvious character flaws because he's supposedly some super-clever, socially oppressed guy who deserves their pity and affection. It's disgraceful. I'm more of a nerd for typing out this long-ass reply on an anonymous shitposting blog than some dude is for wearing pixel sunglasses and a tshirt that says "GOT RAM?"

[Anonymous No.8441572]

>>8441434
i think it originated in a thread i made

[Anonymous No.8441772]

>“I read," I say. "I study and read. I bet I've read everything you read. Don't think I haven't. I consume libraries. I wear out spines and ROM-drives. I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it." My instincts concerning syntax and mechanics are better than your own, I can tell, with all due respect. But it transcends the mechanics. I'm not a machine. I feel and believe. I have opinions. Some of them are interesting. I could, if you'd let me, talk and talk.”

John Green is such a fucking hack

[FOXE No.8441786]

>>8441772
>talks about mechanics
>makes a grammatical error

[Anonymous No.8441807]

Is there anyone that looks more ordinary than John Green?

He looks like a stock character you start with in a video game before making any edits to their appearance.

[Anonymous No.8441817]

Just bringing this up again anyway

https://youtu.be/fHMPtYvZ8tM

[Anonymous No.8441827]

>>8441817
He's defending writing this for teenagers: >>8433774
>her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode.
>to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.

[Anonymous No.8441832]

>>8441817
Ah, a classic.

>My book is not pornographic

Not entirely no. But that one scene is absolutely erotic, if not anything else.

Although I can't get behind people who would ban books. They were given the choice of not allowing their child to read the book, but they took it a step further for little reason.

Although I don't think "Looking for Alaska" is a substantive enough work to be taught in schools anyways. I'm glad it doesn't have the substance to become a mainstay in curriculum.

[Anonymous No.8441834]

>>8441827
>>8441832
>fully grown man
>writing teenage manic pixie dream girl erotica
>cancer fetishism

[Anonymous No.8441843]

>>8441834
So we are agreed then.

[Anonymous No.8441848]

>>8441772
>I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The cereal store, and step on it."

[Anonymous No.8441850]

>>8441848
>I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The cereal store, and stick your dick in it."

[Anonymous No.8441859]

Type CEREAL for 50% discount on membership

[Anonymous No.8441861]

>>8441848
>>8441850
>>8441859
Boy, I hate this guy.

[Anonymous No.8441866]

>>8441861
>food analogy

kek

[Anonymous No.8441868]

>>8441861
BTFO Version.

[Anonymous No.8441928]

>>8434215
The problem is that those guys assume that they wrote using our standards and not theirs, so that Conrad is a terrible racist when in reality he was exposing slavery and racism.

I agree with you, but the problem is that people like Green don't know how to read literature according to their times, and end up calling the Odyssey sexist.

[Anonymous No.8442008]

>>8433774
Goddamn. This is how I imagine it'd be like to learn about sex from middle-aged Jewish matron; having to discern the individual words between matza balls.

[Anonymous No.8442043]

On the DotR shabbos goyim like this will be dealt with severely.

[Anonymous No.8442074]

>>8433774
That's horribly written garbage but I like it.

[Anonymous No.8442083]

>>8434708
Because he is le quirky. o_O xp

[Anonymous No.8442090]

>>8435972
God. This is genius.

[Anonymous No.8442121]

>>8441772
This is literally dfw.

[Anonymous No.8442177]

>>8441861
If you're a man that sleeps with a lot of women you realise men actually are held to this standard of behaviour

[Anonymous No.8442184]

>>8434708

I've noticed a lot of book-tubers' shelves are literally covered in tacky childish knick-knacks.

They all seem to have those cartoon figurine things with the giant heads like in pic related.

I can't stand clutter, and these types of things are just dust collectors.

[Anonymous No.8442200]

>>8442184
there is such a thing as tasteful or at least interesting clutter though. just not that tacky made in china crap

[Anonymous No.8442766]

>>8441861
>writes erotic scenes in children's novels
>encourages young girls to be promiscuous
He's almost as obvious as Dan Schneider.

[Anonymous No.8442776]

>>8442766
wat

[Anonymous No.8442781]

>>8442776

[Anonymous No.8442782]

>>8442766
O M F G this is genius

[Anonymous No.8442796]

>>8442766
Simple Google search shows the Nickelodeon foot logo predates Schneider who arrived in 1988

[Anonymous No.8442964]

>>8436976

[Anonymous No.8442973]

>>8442964
Jules: You ever think about why breakfast foods are breakfast foods?
Vincent: What are you talkin' about?
Jules: You know, like, who was the first muthafucka to come along and say that eggs can only be breakfast food?
Vincent: What do you want, do you want to have fuckin' breakfast for dinner or some shit?
Jules: I don't want fuckin' breakfast for dinner, I want some fuckin' eggs for dinner without some muthafucka telling me I'm eating muthafuckin' breakfast!
Vincent: Alright, Jeez. If it's so fuckin' important to you I'll get behind you on it.
Jules: Thank you.

[Anonymous No.8443009]

>>8442121
thats the joke

[Anonymous No.8443034]

is it an american thing to only eat eggs in the morning? i'm used to eating them in any meal so i really don't understand that paragraph

[Anonymous No.8443047]

>>8443034
I guess
Scrambled eggs in particular are very breakfasty

[Anonymous No.8443065]

We sat and ate breakfast.

I asked the old man why there was a distinction between "breakfast" and "lunch" foods.

He said it wasn't important enough for him to think about.

I insisted. I persisted. I demanded an answer.

He called me a tiresome son-of-a-bitch, and threw the table over.

We fought until our fists hurt too much to continue.

Later, he fucked my wife while I got drunk in the hotel bar downstairs.

[Anonymous No.8443076]

>>8443065
I saw a version written like in the style of The Catcher in the Rye. I wish I had saved it.

[Anonymous No.8443207]

>>8441859
CEREAL
E
R
E
A
L

[Anonymous No.8443342]

Didn't realize there were so many unapologetic racist shitheads on /lit/. Could you not?

[Anonymous No.8443385]

>>8443342
Nice meme friend :^)

[Anonymous No.8444032]

>Her image accompanied me even in places the most hostile to romance. On Saturday evenings when my aunt went marketing I had to go to carry some of the parcels. We walked through the flaring streets, jostled by drunken men and bargaining women, amid the curses of labourers, the shrill litanies of shop-boys who stood on guard by the barrels of pigs' cheeks, the nasal chanting of street-singers, who sang a come-all-you about O'Donovan Rossa, or a ballad about the troubles in our native land. These noises converged in a single sensation of life for me: I imagined that I bore my chalice safely through a throng of foes. Her name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which I myself did not understand. My eyes were often full of tears (I could not tell why) and at times a flood from my heart seemed to pour itself out into my bosom. I thought little of the future. I did not know whether I would ever speak to her or not or, if I spoke to her, how I could tell her of my confused adoration. But my body was like a harp and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires.

I actually don't hate this passage.

[Anonymous No.8444479]

>>8444032
>american using british spelling
huh rlly mkes u thnk

[Anonymous No.8445078]

>>8444479
Every damn time someone falls for this.

[Anonymous No.8445100]

>>8445078
I know it's Joyce (or at least believe it is), I replied but didn't really "fall for it"

[Anonymous No.8445118]

>>8433733
Your fav is problematic

http://yourfaveisproblematic.tumblr.com/post/48215439254/john-green

[Anonymous No.8445122]

>>8445118
wtf I love John Green now

>“What a slut time is. She screws everybody.”
kek. I kinda like that one.

[Anonymous No.8445124]

>>8445122
he just needs to start writing about farts to bloom into a patrician

[Anonymous No.8445176]

>>8445118
someone show this to him and watch him make a fucking 15 minute video apologizing for all of it with his face red and strained holding back tears

[Anonymous No.8445283]

>>8445176
Ends up like this my friendo
>>8441817

[Anonymous No.8445679]

>>8433798
I can't believe it either, I thought this entire passage was a pasta but nope

[Anonymous No.8445695]

>>8435566
10/10

[Anonymous No.8445725]

>>8442964
it just works

[Anonymous No.8445730]

>befriended a manic pixie the summer after high school
>Saw her a lot, became close friends
>Crush on her (duh) retarded enough to confuse it for love
>She was dating this fellar at the time
>Get over her for a small time then fall again for around a year before I finally am truly free
I later learned she considered dating me because we had chemistry but I guess not enough for her to make any significant decision. She loves John Green... Recommended Looking For Shit when we started hanging out. There were a lot of John Green-esque moments that actually became my reality, I bet the tosser would have loved that. Minus the actual romance of course, though I did feel like that Miles faggot when she hugged me excitedly after having not seen her for a spell. I'm pretty sure I remember her comparing me to John Green which just makes me want to kill myself but I think of that entire time whenever this fucker gets posted (which is every day of course) and I cringe in despair.

[Anonymous No.8445733]

>>8435566

>But on the egg subject
>Which came first, the British or poverty?
>But what am I saying sympathizing with eggs?

these parts are excessive, and threw the whole thing way off kilter. otherwise a decent parody.

[Anonymous No.8445750]

>>8442766
This is uncanny. Schneider you big beautiful bastard!

I would catch a glimpse of that Jamie Spears show my sister would watch when I was 10 and remember thinking this is oddly attractive when their feet would be out. Schneider's been awakening fetishes since 2005.

[Anonymous No.8445777]

>>8442973
Underrated post

[Anonymous No.8445824]

>>8433798
Remember, this book is appropriate for children. If you disagree you are a dumb redneck Jesus freak and will be shamed. No opposition will be tolerated to the pornographers.

[Anonymous No.8445883]

>>8445118
These people are insane. If they put their whole life on video for a decade I bet they'd say some dumb shit too

[Anonymous No.8446254]

>>8445118
This big I'd is actually great, I've had to look up some of the words they censor as slurs
G***y? Really?

[Anonymous No.8446391]

>>8445730
Kill yourself anon

[Anonymous No.8446427]

>>8446254
Godly?

[Anonymous No.8446551]

>>8446427
It looks like it's gypsy? There's another point in the blog where they censor it as g*psy.

[Anonymous No.8446585]

>>8446254
is it girly?

[Anonymous No.8446725]

>>8445118
>Tricked the woman he would later marry into going on a first date with him by inviting a whole group of friends (including her) to see a movie, and then un-inviting all the other people.
Classic John Green.

[Anonymous No.8447319]

>>8446725
He's basically a rapist lol

[Anonymous No.8447667]

>>8441861
He makes a terrible cringy analogy, but he's right, you know?

[Anonymous No.8447857]

>>8446254
gaudy?

[Anonymous No.8447873]

>>8447857
>>8446585
>>8446427

He>>8446551 is right, gypsy is apparently a slur worth censoring

[Anonymous No.8448150]

>>8433774
does he have a wife or anything?

[Anonymous No.8448203]

>>8448150
Yes. He refers to her as "The Yeti".

[Anonymous No.8448761]

>Haven't read a book in years
>can make the most popular thread on /lit/

baka @ u fuggin pseuds

[Anonymous No.8448980]

>>8448761
he's like /lit/'s theneedledrop or redlettermedia, but in this case he's not even controversial because everybody just straight up hates him

[Anonymous No.8449161]

>>8447667
I suppose he's right about there being a double standard, in media if not real life, but his solution seems to be not telling men to stop sleeping around, but encouraging women to, which is a questionable message to give to your almost entirely underage audience.

[Anonymous No.8449229]

>>8447667
He's not tho.

[Anonymous No.8449399]

>>8441868
>>8441868

[Anonymous No.8450569]

>Green attended Indian Springs School, a boarding and day school outside of Birmingham, Alabama. During the time he was a student there, a student died under circumstances similar to the character of Alaska.[7][8]

Imagine being this girl's parents. Not only did you lose your daughter in a tragic accident, but a middle aged man has published his sexual fantasies about her, and it's being taught in public high schools.

[Anonymous No.8450574]

>>8450569
>being taught in public high schools.
I'm sorry, wut?
I don't think any high schools are teaching John Green books. At least I hope they aren't. I don't see how any of his books could make it into the curriculum.

[Anonymous No.8450579]

>>8450574
Prepare to feel sick.

>Two teachers at Depew High School near Buffalo, New York, used the book for eleventh grade instruction in 2008. A letter was sent to parents advising them that the book contained controversial content. An alternate reading selection was available for those opting out, and a small percentage of parents chose this option. Nevertheless, the book was challenged on the grounds that it is "pornographic" and "disgusting". One parent even went as far as refusing to read the book himself, reportedly saying that "One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer". The book was ultimately kept in the curriculum by the school board after a unanimous school board vote. Green defended his book in his vlog.[11]

>In March 2012, The Knoxville Journal in Knoxville, Tennessee, reported that a parent of a 15-year-old Karns High School student objected to the book's placement on the Honors and Advanced Placement classes' required reading lists for Knox County High Schools on the grounds that its sex scene and its use of profanity rendered it pornography.[12]

[Anonymous No.8450599]

>>8450579
>one does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer
my sides

[Anonymous No.8450615]

>>8450579
>one does not need cancer to diagnose cancer

[Anonymous No.8450630]

>>8450579
I'm really disappointed that those bible belt cucks tried to ban it because there was sex in it but the absolute dire quality didn't phase them. Priorities you fucking niggers.

[Anonymous No.8450660]

>>8450579
Oh god noooo! Alright. Depew is a podunk little town, I'm not too concerned. I love how the objections to the book were "because sex" and not "because the books are terrible pop-fiction."

[Anonymous No.8450691]

>>8450579
Man, America is such a shithole.

[Anonymous No.8450875]

>>8450579
I feel like I need to contact my local school board to make sure he isn't being taught there.

[Anonymous No.8450994]

>>8450579
Sending children to public schools or letting them be educated by females is child abuse.

[Anonymous No.8451629]

>>8448203
Would this be the same creature he pined for in college, but she became a huge slut and only returned to him after his first book became a hit?

[Anonymous No.8451941]

>>8451629
>after his first book became a hit?

*after he sold his soul to the Jewish publishing elders and received her as a reward

[Anonymous No.8452765]

>>8450875
We need to contact every school board. John Green is a joke, and the idea of teaching his books in school is disgusting.

[Anonymous No.8452907]

>hes a bama fan
DROPPED

[Anonymous No.8453284]

>>8446254
i'm having trouble figuring out what "t****y" is

[Anonymous No.8453300]

>>8453284
Tranny
Don't pretend like you don't jerk it to them every night

[Anonymous No.8453541]

>>8443065
Is this in the style of Hemingway? I've never read Hemingway.

[Anonymous No.8453554]

>>8433733
Yes, he is into cuckold and so is most of /lit/. Thank God too, cuckolding is really a thinking man's fetish. Sex is over rated anyway,

[Anonymous No.8453778]

>>8450574
John Green was on the recommended reading list at my school. but not American so the list was mean for people who are new to reading English.

[Anonymous No.8454505]

John Green BTFO's Batman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LATPfqT4118

[Anonymous No.8454853]

>>8453554
> cuckolding is really a thinking man's fetish
laughing

[Anonymous No.8454994]

>>8454505
Is John just a non conformist who has to point out problems with everything in the world? Breakfast, Batman, Lord of the Flies, what's his problem?

[Anonymous No.8455126]

crash course is good. that's it tho

[Anonymous No.8455259]

>>8450579
>One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer
SAVAGE

[Anonymous No.8455286]

>>8455126
>crash course is good

[Anonymous No.8455292]

>>8440347
The whole thing is verbatim except for the last phrase.

[Anonymous No.8455478]

>>8454505
>durr why doesnt batman just donate his money to charity, thats what i would do!! omg the villains dont make any sense -_- like wtf why doesnt anyone make batman use his money for the government instead of being a superhero it just doesnt add up!!!1 xD

ITS A FUCKING COMIC BOOK FROM THE FUCKING 40'S

[Anonymous No.8455483]

>>8455478
John Green is all about government spending.

[Anonymous No.8455500]

>>8455483
Jesus fucking Christ even a fucking edgy communist 14 year old would have a better understanding of government funding and taxing better than this faggot.

[Anonymous No.8455508]

>>8435476
>huge

Welles was QUITE the man. And a lot of one, two. [swoons]

[Anonymous No.8455518]

>>8455483
Jesus fuck, what a moron

[Anonymous No.8455525]

>>8455483
Jesus Christ, raising taxes to send your people's money to other countries. That is one of the most cuck proposals I have ever read, might as well have a prep the bull tax

[Anonymous No.8455541]

>>8451629
No the woman who he tricked into dating

[Anonymous No.8455544]

>>8455483
>push teachers' salaries up and then increase their taxes

Also, why the FUCK would you make 45,000 dollars the point to charge more, families often barely get by on that much money as it is. That's well below financial aid cutoffs for most institutions and that's for a reason

[Anonymous No.8455599]

>>8449161
The double standard is bullshit because men are all easy and women are mostly not, unless you have above average looks.

[Anonymous No.8455603]

>>8433733
No but I fucking hate dubs

[Anonymous No.8455890]

>>8455483
>wants more foreign aid even though it it is well-known that it harms the receiving countries (and is basically an arm of agricultural price control policy in any event)
>wants to pay for all his shit with a consumption tax, deterring economic activity far more than income tax ever could (the only other people in favor of VAT/sales tax heavy funding are staunch Republicans, oddly enough)
>implying NASA isn't such a small portion of the budget that expanding it massively can't be done by cutting some obscure subsidies

[Anonymous No.8455895]

>>8455890
I forgot

>implying the estate tax isn't still in effect

[Anonymous No.8456848]

>>8437601
>that thing
>a woman

[Anonymous No.8457119]

>>8455483
>raise taxes to make sure people in other countries are having more babies

m8

[Anonymous No.8457638]

>>8456848
I think she's a Rothschild.

[Anonymous No.8458025]

>>8457119
To be fair, increasing infant and maternal health care would actually reduce their birth rate in the long run; that's what happened to every other country with such improvements.

[Anonymous No.8458497]

>>8455483
>raise taxes
>raise taxes
>raise taxes
>raise taxes
I really don't like this guy.

[Anonymous No.8458528]

>>8455483
He's a genius.

[Anonymous No.8458690]

>>8455483
>>8458528
Make America Green Again

[Anonymous No.8458816]

>>8445122
English isn't my first language, but doesn't this work even if you replace time with a million other things?

Given that the meanings of "screw" are derived from each another, where's the wit?

[Anonymous No.8458848]

>>8458816
>americans
>wit

[Anonymous No.8459568]

>>8458816
"What a slut the stock market is. She screws everybody."

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[Anonymous No.8459645]

Just as the indians were being decapitated and castrated and set on fire and running around screaming like flaming comets Glanton randomly asked me Have ye ever gotten a blowjob.
Um thats out of the blue
The blue?
Like ye know out of the sky.
The sky?
Like the Leonids. God how they did fall. Like out of nowhere. I mean what made ye think of that,
Ive just never given one, he answered, his little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen I thought I would explode madly gibbering like a flaming indian. I never thought. I mean from Judge Holden hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear his sweet little alabaman voice go so sexy all of a sudden...
No, I said, I never have.
Think it would be fun?
DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! Um, ye. I mean, ye dont have to.
I think I want to, he said, and we kissed a little and then. And then with me sitting watching the babies hung up on trees with limbs chopped off and matrons screaming and bawling and holding onto them then getting decapitated and shot brutally watching Judge Holden up to his psychotic antics. Glanton unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
Wow, he said.
What?
He looked up at me but didn’t move his face nanometers away from my penis.
Its weird
What do you mean weird.
Just big I guess.
I could live with that kind of weird. And then he wrapped his hand around it and put it into his mouth.
And waited.
We were both very still. He did not move a muscle in his body and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen but I wasnt quite sure what.
He stayed still. I could feel his nervous breath. For minutes for as long as it took the last gibbering mad indian to calm down and die to steal the key and unlock themselves from the jail of this life he lay there stockstill with my penis in his mouth and I sat there waiting and then he took it out of his mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
Should I do something?
Um I dont know, I said. Everything Id learned from having sex with the Judge suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe he should move his head up and down but wouldnt that choke him? So I just stayed quiet.
Should I like bite?
Don’t bite. I mean I dont think I think I mean that felt good. That was nice. I dont know if theres something else.
I mean, you didn’t—
Um. Maybe we should ask Holden.
So we went to his tent and asked the Judge. He laughed and laughed. Sitting on his bed, he laughed. He is laughing, laughing. He says that he will never stop. He danced into the teepee. He returned with an indian phallus and showed us in detail. Never have I so wanted to be indian phallus.

[Anonymous No.8461016]

>>8442766
I always thought it was weird how many American children's shows involved feet and foot massages when I was growing up.

[Anonymous No.8461501]

>>8461016
It's all thanks to one guy.

[Anonymous No.8461663]

>>8442781

Like pottery.

[Anonymous No.8461679]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijG6Tc431hQ

>John Green loves wearing make up

[Anonymous No.8461688]

>>8433733

I wish him die.

[Anonymous No.8461692]

>>8461679
Do you think he actually has opinions about this sort of thing, or do you think he just likes to recite tumblr opinions while acting like he's the first person to think of them?

[Anonymous No.8461698]

>>8442776
>>8442766
Sad to say, but there's a lot of pervs in Hollywood, give a man power to indulge his fetishes and oboy will he use it.

That pic is either a joke or tragic depending on how you see it. If Dan Schneider's actually a pedophile, it's up to your conscience to choose how you want to see it.

[Anonymous No.8462583]

>>8461698
I don't think he's ever actually molested a kid, but I'm sure he'd like to.

[Anonymous No.8462629]

>>8433774
Please don't. I actually finished this book, then gave him another chance with tfinos. Terrible decision.

[Anonymous No.8462706]

>>8441859
Cereal

[Anonymous No.8462726]

>>8459645
I keked. Good job.

[Anonymous No.8462748]

>>8462583
HE

[Anonymous No.8462920]

>>8455483
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.

[Anonymous No.8462951]

>>8462920
>implying his type wants less materialism and traditional values

[Anonymous No.8462960]

>>8462951
I just detected the same level of banality as is in le dubmans monologue. Then I read it in full and accepted that it was mainly just >muh taxes

[Anonymous No.8464151]

>>8462920
>>8462960
Kek, I'm reading this now and thought it sounded familiar.

What a fantastic novel.

[Anonymous No.8464163]

>>8442766

Is it bad that I can name most of these girls? I don't even own a tv.

[Anonymous No.8464190]

>>8464163
Everybody knows who Ariana Grande is, even though she was only 16 or 17 in this show.

[Anonymous No.8464223]

>>8441868
ouch

[Anonymous No.8464254]

>>8441868
That's not really BTFO, it's /pol/ endulging their own cuckold fetish again.

Not saying Green isn't a hack though.

[Anonymous No.8464271]

>>8434708
its a set genius

[Anonymous No.8465226]

>>8464254
I'm pretty sure it's close to the real story of John and his wife. I think he's said he desired her in college, but she wouldn't give him the time of day until after he became a (financial) success with Looking for Alaska.

[Anonymous No.8465283]

>>8433774
goddammit I can't stop picturing John Green getting a blowjob now

[Anonymous No.8465297]

>>8464254
green has had 16+ girlfriends and every single one of them broke up with him—not the reverse

[Anonymous No.8465314]

>>8445730
>I hate John Green and his dorky-cute glasses
>He's an author too how gay is that right?
>He captured my teenage romance in a shit book about teenage romance, fuck him but I must say I am what he writes

[Anonymous No.8465445]

Stop samefagging OP. Just let this thread die.

[Anonymous No.8465525]

>>8433774
Wait, he actually wrote this? I assumed you were joking but everyone's replying to you seriously. Is this actually in one of his novels?

[Anonymous No.8465571]

>>8465525
It's not a joke. It's a real excerpt from Looking for Alaska, which has won prizes in children's literature.

[Anonymous No.8465607]

>>8441807
I laughed. I will always remember this when I see him.

[Anonymous No.8465633]

>>8450579
>eleventh grade

What the fuck? At my high school we did Hamlet and T.S Eliot. This generation doesn't stand a chance.

[Anonymous No.8465831]

>>8465226
>if you get money women will like you
Well, yeah, but I don't see that necessarily being connected to that screenshot.

>>8465297
Why are you so informed about a person you dislike?

[Anonymous No.8465835]

>>8450579
>One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer

[Anonymous No.8465924]

>>8450579
>One does not need to have cancer to diagnose cancer
This guy is Green posting on /lit/ right now.

[Anonymous No.8466031]

My brother had a high school sweetheart who really loved John Green's novels.

He went to the same college she got into and after 6 weeks she dumped him for a 24 year old teacher's assistant.

[Anonymous No.8466041]

>>8465831
>Well, yeah, but I don't see that necessarily being connected to that screenshot.
John married a huge slut and is trying to convince himself that he's not upset about her past.

[Anonymous No.8466087]

>>8466041
She did alright with the museum she worked at though. Teebeeaitch I respect her more than him.

[Anonymous No.8466102]

>>8465633
Same here. I remember being the only one who was interested in the difficult assignments we got, especially poetry.

We need to figure out a way to give these kids the gift of knowledge and love of literature.

But how?

[Anonymous No.8466109]

>>8465226
Sounds like a cunt. They're perfect for each other.

[Anonymous No.8466168]

>>8466102
Kids never had any love for literature, and forcing them to read the greats in highschool will not change that. The ones actually loving high brow stuff are the exception.

And if you now think that back then it used to be different, no, it wasn't, back then a fraction of the population even had an education.

[Anonymous No.8466234]

>>8466168
I'm aware most people don't really enjoy reading. Most of my friends in high school hated lit class and were astounded I enjoyed it at all. Even some of the smart kids I knew disliked literature and reading in general.

It was a running joke between us. I was the bookworm of my circles. Teachers liked me for it, parents wished their kids would read like I did. So I know its an outlying thing

But there's gotta be a way to get kids interested in higher level reading. I know some who started out with shitty books like Twilight or something and asked me for recommendations on something else, so I pointed them to the classics. Some got it, some didn't. Maybe that's a good start?

Maybe it goes back to childhood? My mother read to me a lot and I started reading at an early age. Maybe that would help?

I know you can't get all the kids, but at least some.

[Anonymous No.8466247]

>>8466234
>Maybe it goes back to childhood? My mother read to me a lot and I started reading at an early age. Maybe that would help?
That might be better than forcing them to read in school. School should be suplementary.

And no, you won't get all kids, and not even some kids, you will get one in thousand maybe, and that is okay.

[Anonymous No.8466266]

>>8466234
Start with the Greeks, of course.

[Anonymous No.8466269]

how can this thread still be up

[Anonymous No.8466319]

>>8466247
I agree school should be supplementary to parentage. Maybe its the way I was raised. Probably.

And as long as those one in a thousand do the same and impart the lessons they learned to their children, perhaps it will multiply enough to begin to mean something one day. One can hope.

>>8466266
But of course.

[Anonymous No.8466350]

Does anyone have a link the the blog post where JG said that "cuck" shouldn't be an insult?

He said it implied generosity was bad or something hilarious like that. Or maybe it was some other retard who said it?

[Anonymous No.8466362]

>>8466350
I think it was John's brother, Hank. He tweeted that he was sad that "cuck" was catching on as an insult, and later tweeted that he was happy he found out that he can filter the word from showing up in YouTube comments.

[Anonymous No.8466381]

>>8435147
I want to die

[Anonymous No.8466447]

>>8466319
>perhaps it will multiply enough to begin to mean something one day.
Why would it multiply? Why would it need to?

Without trying to sound like a needlessly arrogant prick (though I am aware this disclaimer doesn't change the fact that I do), but plebs were always the overwhelmingly absolute majority. And that's okay because that's just how humans are. I don't see what we would really gain from it not being the case.

[Anonymous No.8466464]

just finished reading the fault in our stars

its not bad

[Anonymous No.8466576]

>>8466234
Shame people who don't enjoy reading. Imagine what it would sound like if someone said, "I don't enjoy TV, I don't enjoy movies, I don't enjoy watching sports." They'd think they're retarded. Do the same.

[Anonymous No.8467481]

>>8466350
That was Hank

[Anonymous No.8467521]

>>8466350
>>8467481
I think he just said calling people a cuck is doubly insulting and people shouldn't say it.

[Anonymous No.8467538]

>>8435137
Yes, it would have turned out differently if they were all women. None of them would have done anything necessary in order to survive. The small groups that did form would tear themselves apart with in-fighting, and then they would kill each other.

This is basically what happened on the boys vs girls survivor, without the killing.

[Anonymous No.8467702]

>>8465314
It wasn't romance though and I'm not an author, whippersnapper.

Get stuffed, I lived the reality version of his book and it's nowhere near as sweet. In real life you learn to stop pining for a chick who isn't 1/5 as interested in you as you are in her and get a woman who is. Yes yes, you might say I was a wild sage growing in the weeds...

[Anonymous No.8467710]

>>8466102
>humanity was a mistake
He's contemplated that multiple times in the OT.

[Anonymous No.8467715]

>>8466447
You're not arrogant, it's literally true.

And that's okay. I like them as they are and can bond with them nonetheless.

>he doesn't adore humanity

[Anonymous No.8467732]

>>8435566
Amazing.

[Anonymous No.8467776]

>“There will come a time when all of us are dead; there will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after; and if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it."

Why haven't you read Tolstoy's best work yet?