[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

View post   
File: 15 KB, 142x331, best_girl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405128 No.8405128 [Reply] [Original]

What has been your lowest low in life so far /lit/?

Your biggest failure?

I'm 25, almost 26, and since graduating I have worked a job I hate because I've told myself I had no other options.

Anybody ever feel this way?

I feel like quitting and travelling for a while, but I don't have any real skills.

What are some books on this subject?

>> No.8405129 [DELETED] 

>>8405128
bible

>> No.8405156

>>8405128

Same situation but I dropped out. Life is dull.

>> No.8405161

month to 21 and i havent even started college

>> No.8405193

>>8405128
What was your degree in? What kind of job are you doing right now?

>> No.8405207
File: 98 KB, 640x480, 1438419828403.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405207

>>8405128
23, kissless virgin, living with my parents, no education past high school, only have a part time job which I got through nepotism, no ambitions or drive to succeed.
Every day is lower than the last.
I started reading recently because I'm hoping maybe I can find some direction. Also it's another form of escapism, video games aren't interesting any more, and TV/Movies the same.

>> No.8405213

read Steppenwolf

>> No.8405222

>>8405128

29 with an A.S. in I.T. and my career path has gone from desktop support technician on the way to graduating college and obtaining vital certifications in 2014 to being in 2016 working at a fucking Family Dollar as a register jockey.

I did write a book which I self-pubbed on Amazon last night but it's not that great and has no sales thus far.

But you know, when I was 25 almost 26 I was in the same situation you are. It gets better, and then you get knocked back down, so.....yea.

>> No.8405228

>>8405193
Degree was in Eng Lit & History, which means my skillset is limited. I just feel I've driven myself into the ground and sacrificed my youth for the sake of security and to maintain an image that others can't mock (for being poor, underemployed, carefree, lazy, etc). I realize it's childish and pathetic to do so, but still it's what I'm doing. I accept also that for society to function everybody must sacrifice their contentment and happiness and desires (to varying extents) for the sake of the community as a whole, but still I feel like I'm practically giving up on my ambitions and instead simply working to please other people or at least avoid being scorned by them. I haven't missed a day at work despite loathing my job. I feel like a meek, submissive, gelded little bitch. My coworkers view me as an autistic mute. I recently read on here that karl ove knasgard spent his 20s bumming around college and avoiding work as best he could. I just become so envious of that and think that it's a sign he really wanted to write and dedicate himself to literature.

>> No.8405230

>>8405128
Chón?

>> No.8405244
File: 6 KB, 480x360, yoker.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405244

>>8405222
This is good to hear. I'm 25 and still looking for a job thats so far away from retail, kitchen etc and to no avail, despite having training in multiple fields and a few internships. I keep hoping but man is it ever draining.

>> No.8405256

>>8405128
My entire life has been a compendium of failures to be quite honest. I was given an absurdly easy hand in life and I have done nothing with it

>> No.8405257

>>8405213
OP here. I'm actually halfway through this at the moment. Why did you suggest that? I understand Haller's inner turmoil but I'm unsure how it specifically relates to my situation at the moment.

>> No.8405267

>>8405230
No idea what that means sorry.

>>8405244
OP here. I worked in kitchens etc before finding this job. While the pay was terrible, the hours were quite short and I was on my feet. Now I have a safe job in which I don't have to talk to anybody all day and can often have an hour or so to myself on the internet, but still I feel like I'm dying while I sit there for nine hours staring at my screen while people walk around and gossip etc.

>> No.8405279

>>8405222
Are you advertising it at all? It'll be completely invisible if you don't.

>> No.8405289

>>8405228
I'm a 25 year-old NEET with no education past high school, so you could be worse off. I've felt pretty much the same way about the few jobs I've had but the difference is they were shitty enough for me to leave after a couple of months at most.

>> No.8405308

>>8405289
Do you have any ambitions?

Personally I have been trying this whole time to write and publish a novel, but it's extremely difficult while also working full-time.

>>8405256
What do you mean by absurdly easy hand? In what sense?

>> No.8405325

>>8405279

I haven't begun a full ad campaign yet since I have no cash on hand yet, but I have put out posts on FB, Twitter, and KBoards. I am hesitant to post it here since it would be sort of foolish, considering that /lit/ is used to literature of a much higher caliber than mine and it seems conceited for me to think that my book should take precedence over other authors.

>>8405244

The best thing you can do in your situation is have a car. If you have a vehicle it helps a lot, part of the reason I'm stuck the way I am is due to lack of a driver's license or vehicle (Very expensive for a vehicle, so I never got my license as a kid and don't have anyone who will train me on driving)

There are other things you can do to improve your skillset. I can only speak for I.T. work but if you plan on working with computers the best option is to find a testing center near you and go for certs. I've found that the A+, while entry level, is a colossal waste of 400 bucks especially since now you need to pay 100 bucks every few years to renew it. So just go for Network+ or your CCENT/CCNA right off the bat and have a more prestigious certification on your resume right off the bat.

If you're not doing I.T. I know there are certs in other fields, like for accounting or nursing and whatnot. There's even a civil service test if you want to try your hand at the postal service or conducting a subway train or whatever else you need that for.

>> No.8405328

>>8405308
>What do you mean by absurdly easy hand?
Everything has always been easy for me. School both science and humanities, socializing, sports, art, etc. I come from a fairly wealthy family, I'm goodlooking, etc.

I just haven't done anything with it. Had lots of plans as a teenager and never put any of them into action, some kind of fog just descended on my head. Kind of halfheartedly pursued various things but my existence is more or less pointless. I gave up at one point and became an alcoholic and now that is what I do. Because I was dealt all these good qualities my life as an alcoholic is not really that bad, I can enjoy most of what people seem to like about life, except having money obviously.

One day the bottom will fall out though

>> No.8405345

I'm 22 years old, fucked up my studies because I'm a lazy idiot, and so I now have to study something I hate in which I am incompetent and have no future. Also, I am crippled by anxiety (always stressed, can't have people looking at me, can barely hold a simple conversation), never had a real job so I have no experience and am basically useless, I am a khv with little to no friends, I feel lonely as fuck everyday, I ruined everything my parents ever did for me, and I'm all around a general trash. That's my current lowest point, but, hey, you never know, might get even worse.

>> No.8405349

>>8405345
> fucked up my studies
What did you study?

>> No.8405358

>>8405267
Anon here, this Anon may actually be me. I had a "crap" summer job at a kitchen that turned out to be really fulfilling in a way, and a few years later, I did an "good" internship with a consulting firm that turned out to be horrible for me. I gained weight and hated myself for not fitting in with the most normiecore group of people in my office.

Get a job that lets you be an expert at something. I would actually recommend sales, if you don't feel uncomfortable carrying on a conversation and doing small talk with the aim of leading toward a pitch. Don't be an idiot who falls for vector marketing. Just apply to represent a small IT company or small brewery or something B2B

>> No.8405361

>>8405349

I fucked up my math studies in high school because I couldn't do my homework or ask questions or work in class (anxiety), so I was limited when it came to university. I now study law, I am one of the worst student of my cohort, I absolutely hate the subject and since I'm crippled by anxiety I'm not too good with interacting with others, which is like 80% of the skills of anyone doing law should have.

>> No.8405362

>>8405128
>I feel like quitting and travelling for a while, but I don't have any real skills.
Cruise ships bro. Pay can be fairly shit but you travel and live for free.

>> No.8405365

>>8405361
Picamilon. Try it.

>> No.8405380

>>8405365

Why? What is it?

>> No.8405381

>>8405308
In terms of anything I'm "doing", I'm finishing up the first draft of a novel, but I wouldn't really count that as an ambition or a "productive" activity because it's not PC or erudite enough to sell. I started out with some vague notions of making it more marketable than my previous attempt at a novel (finished and shelved after a series of form rejections from agents) but I quickly realized that I wasn't physically capable of writing anything that normal and ended up going even crazier with this one than the last. In retrospect, it should've been pretty obvious that this was where it was headed from the start since the primary inspiration for it was Finnegans Wake.

>> No.8405391

>>8405128

I'm 28. I'm two semesters out from graduating college with a Bachelors, which I may not be able to do because reasons. I'm a 240lbs schizotypal and psychotic transsexual otherkin now, apparently. I just woke up one day and realized it Gregor Samsa style. I used to be 160 lbs extremely lean athletic, but hated by everyone for being a sanctimonius shit. Well I lost even more friends than that from transitioning, and then became homeless, and then worked for an associates degree that did nothing for me, and then another one, and then decided to go on for a bachelors in the process getting four more associates degrees and still completely unemployable. I worked my ass off to get through my first 4 degrees and while every employer said constantly that I was a great worker, they also treated me like absolute shit. I remember walking through a blizzard because they wouldn't let me lock my coat up in the women's locker room, for instance, and wouldn't hold onto it behind the counter either. I think my biggest low must have been when I was going to go assassinate a few people and my daemon woke up and hijacked me just to make me stop. I dunno. My entire life is a downward trajectory.

>> No.8405394

>>8405381

Just release the damn thing dude. Even if it doesn't sell at least you can say you wrote and published a book. Hell might as well go for a traditional publisher if you're not concerned with the cash.

Even if the rest of your life turns to shit, at least you can look back and see that you've left something behind.

>> No.8405431
File: 95 KB, 536x800, BSaOpZW.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405431

not having a woman in my life is the only thing that makes me depressed really. I can make my way around everything else.

>> No.8405451

>>8405128
>>8405128
19, lots of acquaintances and people i sometimes meet, no friends. my type doesn't like me and i'm girls i hate's type
not kissless but a virgin
The only good thing is decent uni scores without much trying
Full yet meaningless life scenarios

>> No.8405456

>>8405267
dont get my wrong I have worked in kitchens before and found it draining. I wouldn't want to be stuck staring at a computer screen all day as well. Ideally I want something that is engaged in the community or at least outdoors and active. I may just suffer from that delusion that I want to do something fulfilling a can have an impact, rather than just for some corporate gain.

>>8405325
I have a drivers license but no car. Because they are all extremely expensive. I had an interview with an environmental organization and when they saw I had a license they got hesitant because maybe they saw me as "part of the problem"

>> No.8405468

>>8405391
You need to to get a sense if self and stop wishing you are other things that you are not. I wentered through a 4 year period convinced I was a woman trapped inside a man's body. I got to the point where I was saving up for a sex change and going and getting consulting for it. Then over the course of 3 months I realized how dumb I was. I was just running away from any and all other problems I had with myself and realized gender identity on a personal level doesn't mean jackshit and neither does sexuality. Don't focus on a gender you think you might be. It makes no difference. You are a human and so is everyone else and that's really all that counts. I knew people who fully transitioned and it didn't help them at all. One of them even had support from family and friends and was still miserable. It isn't the answer. Find out what's really going on with yourself.

>> No.8405470

Prolly the times i used to crossdress and go on omegle all night long, only to then skip university the next days, or go but with no sleep whatsoever.
I ended up making no friends, learning very little (i was studying piano at the time) and failing 4 out of 5 courses.
I realize my hedonism destroyed my musical carreer but i still look back at those times and laugh at how maniacal they were.
Musical interpretation is for unoriginal faggots anyways, so i'm glad i'm not there anymore.

>> No.8405476

>>8405431
this desu, I'm 22 and have never even had a gf. I'm pretty normal otherwise but it really gets to me sometimes. I just want someone to want me man

>> No.8405488

>>8405468

I'm drunk right now so I can't answer this well but first of all you're projecting quite a bit, second of all duh human problems persist past transition because transsexuals are human beings, and nobody is ever without problems utterly. Just because I'm transitioning doesn't mean I can't also work on other things, they're not mutually exclusive, that's a ridiculous false dichotomy.

>> No.8405503

>>8405488
I'm sorry if I was. I don't know you and I won't claim to. What I said was based off of a lot of things that I saw with transgendered people when I was transitioning myself and what made me turn my back on it. In the midst of all of that, I lost any reason why I ever cared to transition. It was hard for me because I felt I needed to since I was 14 and I finally got to the point where I was going to make it happen.

>> No.8405506

>>8405470
Why did you crossdress? Do you parents know about this?

>> No.8405512

>>8405503

Yeah there's a lot of stupid "trans" people mostly because of the bloo bloo gender expression people, if you're comfortable in your body don't transition, period, social roles are a fucking spook, fucking idiots think that being uncomfortable in your body is some sort of negligible consideration when it's the whole reason to or not to transition, idiot trans trenders ruin everything, fuck them all, I hope they absorb all the bullets aimed at trans people

>> No.8405516

>>8405506
it's mostly a fetish but i also enjoyed looking good and socializing while dressed.
Only my mother knows and she hates it and thinks it's gonna turn me gay, but whatever, lol, she'll get over it eventually.
I only do it in secret though. I have to lock my door everytime i do it.

>> No.8405524

>>8405516
Where did you buy your clothes from? I want to start crossdressing

>> No.8405558

>>8405524
I took some of my sister's old clothes from some boxes and bags in my basement.

If you wanna start in a proper way though, i'd suggest getting a place for yourself, but if you can't then get a PO box so you can buy em' online and not get caught when receiving them. You'd still need to get a good hiding spot in your room however.

>> No.8405637
File: 193 KB, 500x676, neet frog.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405637

I'm 28, NEET for 5 years, useless since birth and comfy since I lost my last job.

Still happy and confident I chose the best path in life every day.

>> No.8405664

>>8405637

I would love to go back to being NEET but I also like having food in my stomach and electricity so I have little choice but to be a wageslave.

Would be nice if the writing takes off and I can break my bonds to become the ultimate NEET: One rich with finances.

>> No.8405687

>>8405664
A rich NEET is just called a gentleman.

Welfare isn't too bad if you can get it though.

>> No.8405710

>>8405451
I wouldn't worry about being a virgin at 19

>> No.8405748

My lowest point is probably now. 26, unemployed, virtually no employment prospects, and mooching off my one living parent who feels too guilty to kick me out. I have a substantial amount of savings to pay for my own things thanks to an account opened for me at birth. It was intended to give me money for a car or as a safety net, but I mostly just use it to cover my living expenses (which aren't that much since I live rent-free and have only one bill to pay).

I do have a college degree (In English lit, minor in creative writing), as well as an associates in university studies. The only job I've ever held was a seasonal gig with UPS, and that was only for a couple months right after I finished school. Been a NEET for 2 years now. My younger brother keeps pestering me to find a job, my mother isn't but she wants to retire and sell the house so I'll have to figure something out within a year or so.

My future is pretty bleak. By 2018 one of these will be true: I will be a wageslave with a hollow, soulless existence; I will be penniless and completely dependent on my mother or brother, living a life of shame; or I will be homeless and starving, this is only if for whatever reason I am disowned by my family and they refuse to care for me (unlikely, but it's still a possibility). Obviously the homeless situation would be the worst, but the other two are about equally terrible, and the worst part is indecision isn't going to save me from this. Doing nothing will just fast track me on to the path of dependency, so for the first time in my life putting off a decision isn't going to make my life easier.

>> No.8405793
File: 148 KB, 300x300, 1463642491957.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405793

>>8405128
There are several occasions where I've made a complete and utter ass of myself, embarrassed my friends or family, or turned my nose up at incredible opportunities to flat-out better myself because I was an incredible prick for most of my young life. Those were pretty low.

The time I felt the lowest, though, was in the second semester of my freshman year when I fucking tanked an exam and had to confront the fact that I was wasting my time and my parents' money fucking around with a dorm full of party kids when I could--and should--have been putting in an actual degree of effort. Having mostly skated through high school and gotten Cs with maybe 30% of the effort everyone else was putting into it, that was just another wake-up call.

I'm 22, have worked one job that I hate, can't find another one, and have gone out of my way to never enter a relationship because my standards have always been high.

I'm young enough that I still believe things will work out or get better. I'm healthy and in decent shape (getting better), so if I can't find work after getting my degree I'm going to join the military.

>> No.8405833

>>8405687

I mean I like the idea of welfare for myself. I'd like to get in on those NEETbux but despite my obvious failings I've never actually been diagnosed with anything and I have no kids so I'm ineligible for that. Hell the few times I've needed food stamps so I could actually get food I've had to lie and say I was homeless to get them.

Otherwise they tell you you need to work 20 hours a week to qualify. Bitch, if I had a job I would be earning my own money and I wouldn't be coming here for a fucking handout!

Either way I guess I'm fine with not getting NEETbux. It puts more control of one's life into the hands of government, and isn't the objective to escape from the clutches of that tyrannical machine? Why be another cog when you have the potential for more?

>> No.8405864

>>8405748
Get in shape and apply for Officer Candidate School. Look up local seminars for resume building and shit. Volunteer somewhere if you think it'll look good on a resume. Work a job you can't fucking stand for a while, but keep up the job hunt until you can find another one. Learn a language. Then learn another one.

If you're in shape, have no criminal record, have no history of drug abuse, no tattoos, no piercings, a college degree, speak more than one language, and can prove that you haven't just been jerking off with your thumb up your ass since you graduated and STILL can't get a job, then you might as well walk to Alaska and get yourself killed trying to sodomize a fucking polar bear.

>> No.8405870

>>8405864
Would you need some kind of document or certificate for language learning? Or is it fine if it's independent

>> No.8405878

>>8405870
Pretty sure a document or certification would be necessary if you're going to spam applications, but if they just ask you to prove it in the interview then independent should be fine. Probably depends on where you're trying to get hired.

>> No.8405896

>>8405228
It's hard to live off that kind of education unfortunately.
The odds of becoming a super rich writer are not realistic.

Your life isn't completely over though. Even if you were in your 40s you can still go back to school. You have all the basics...you will have to take a few more classes but I highly suggest a nursing career. With nursing you can get a gig with an agency as a traveling nurse (some make like $60/HR). You met new people everyday and learn a lot about human beings. Hours in nursing are very flexible. You could still do writing on the side.

>> No.8405917
File: 231 KB, 1107x1476, tumblr_n2k5ycBmEk1qjzrgro2_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8405917

My lowest point was probably when I was about 21 years old. I had had a very wild, swinging college career up to that point. One semester, I'd do very well and get A's in all my honors-level courses, then the next semester would come and I'd fail most of them. I felt like I was trapped, somehow, in my own head, not able to focus, not able to really do what I wanted to do even when I wanted to do it. It was terribly frustrating, because I was depressed at my own lack of control, but at the same time I wondered if I could control myself at all. I dropped out of school, started working a dead-end job at my Dad's medical practice, and felt like there was no hope.

However, I eventually wound up being diagnosed with high-functioning autism and put on medication. Most of my mental troubles cleared up, I was able to control my mind better, and my functioning improved. I eventually re-enrolled at my original school and graduated a year and a half later with a BA.

Don't give up. You can do it.

>> No.8405945

>>8405864
Hate to break it to you but plenty of people with tattoos, piercings and a history of drug abuse can and do hold jobs (across all wage levels)

>> No.8405959

>>8405128
I lost a few years of my life in early high-school/middleschool to a really bad flu and being locked up in a psych ward. I've never really recovered. Felt hurt and let down by almost everyone I knew and lost faith in almost everything, but it turns out the real problem was missing a crucial period of academic and social development.

I was back in full regular classes for the first time since grade 9 last year, and felt so alienated and stupid that I've decided to take an extra year. Being a legal adult still in highschool, especially when all my friends have moved on (some are even getting married) feels atrocious. Now I don't know if I'm making up for lost time or further holding back my progress.

Also my dog died.

Reading the younger Pliny has been really good. It didn't feel like there was anyone around me who wasn't either distant or an asshole, but now I'm resolved to keep looking.

>> No.8405975

>>8405945
No shit. I wasn't saying they were unemployable, I was saying that those things aren't always attractive qualities in a prospective employee.

>> No.8406293

>>8405945
Depending on location those things may be forbidden altogether. For example, Disney and other Florida theme parks will not hire you if you have tattoos or piercings that can't be easily covered up.

>> No.8406325

>>8405959
You're going to be laughing at those married cunts in a few years, anon.

Sorry about your dog.

>> No.8406345

>>8405917
what does the medication do? what type of doctor did you see? how long after seeing him until diagnosis? how long until the meds took effect?

>> No.8406354

>>8405128
This yhear it's the third year I'm repeating grade. I'm 2 years away from University now and all my friends are already on their second year.

It got pretty low but it felt kinda liberating knowing that I've failed so catastrofically that I can't get any lower and no one expects nothing from me anymore. It's actually really nice when you accept the situation, the perks are extremly good.

>> No.8406367

Probably when I was 16 and almost killed myself. I chickened out and told my therapist and she had me put in a ward for a little while. I was diagnosed with bipolar II, GAD, social phobia, and insomnia. Medication, reading, therapy, and friends have helped greatly since then (although I've also been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder). Probably the most helpful practical thing was dialectical behaviour therapy.

>> No.8406374

>>8405128

Biggest failure: listening to everybody telling me I have to go to school. Not working in my teens.

So here we are. I'll be graduating probably in 2018 with an english degree because it's the one I can finish the fastest. I don't plan on actually doing anything with it. I want to drop all my classes and spend my $6k in savings on traveling around Europe.

>> No.8406384

lowest low for me was after i graduated university and was unemployed for over a year. after graduating i was really bummed about how little interest i had in my major and didn't do any interviewing. was wallowing in self pity for a while. then a close family member passed and i spent a couple months dealing with that. that was the worst part of my life but the death did help me recalibrate.


eventually got a mediocre job through a relative and then a decent job and moved out of the house.

>> No.8406388

lowest low was having the place I work for go out of business slowly. cutting my hours. everyone telling me I need a better job and more money. so I forced myself to work a far more serious job making a lot more money but stressed me the fuck out. lasted almost a year before quitting and realizing I don't need much in life to be happy. got myself an easy job with semi shit pay. found a cheap little apartment in the city. now I'm happy as fuck even though my bank account isn't large. no stress. good times. glad I hit that low. currently getting my trucking license. I would love to have a trucking job so I can work long hauls and take more time off during the year. working 9-5 Monday to Friday blows and I want no part of it.

>> No.8406397

>>8405128
Losing my first pregnancy a little over six years ago was my biggest low. It took over a year to get out of it, mostly with the help of getting into literature (for escapism at first, then more).

I could probably consider it the biggest failure too. That's always what it feels like. But it's not just one incident, it's the ongoing failure of my internal organs to sustain pregnancy.

>> No.8406402

>>8406397
your basically a murderer. you should be in jail.

>> No.8406405

>>8406397
your basically a murderer. you should be in jail.

>> No.8406408

>>8406384
>that was the worst part of my life but the death did help me recalibrate.

I know what you mean, anon. When my dad died, it was somehow great for me, mentally. I loved him, but watching him taken off life support renewed my energy for life. I stopped feeling so anxious all the time because I felt a lot more aware of death. There's no reason to worry about little things.

>> No.8406410

>>8406405
kek

>> No.8406411

>>8405431
Same here. Most of my friends are in stable long term relationships and will probably get married in a few years. Drives me nut that by the time I have a solid career, the only option left will be used up whores. I can't focus on anything when I'm not in love. At least a crush on someone gives me the motivation to work hard.

>> No.8406413

>>8406397
how's it feel to kill someone and get away with it you stupid cunt. what are you that bitch that left her baby in the car then went on vacation. I'd still fuck her even after she killed her baby. she's pretty hot. post tits. maybe I'd fuck you too you baby killing fuck.

>> No.8406416

>>8406345
I saw a proper clinical psychiatrist at a clinic center in Texas, where I live. I take Risperdal, which I'm told is used to treat schizophrenia in higher dosages. I only take 1.5 mg every night. It sort of helps me systematize my thoughts, if that makes any sense. It started working within about three days.

>> No.8406419

>>8406413
Quality shitposting/10

>> No.8406421

>>8406413
>>8406405
>>8406402
Not sure if you misunderstood or just being a shitter, but I didn't say anything about abortion. They've all been miscarriages, despite being on bed rest and generally being as careful as possible.

>> No.8406423

>>8405128
First gf dumping me, wifes miscarriage, graduating from college in 2006, not finding a job, and working in penny stocks and scams and email spamming.

>> No.8406424

>>8406421
your still a murderer for having shit organs and shit genes so what difference does it make you dumb baby killing cunt?

>> No.8406425

>>8406421
yes I knew exactly what you meant you fucking baby killer. get a better body you murderer.

>> No.8406430

>>8406424
lmaooooooo. fucking baby killer man. just throw yourself down a flight of stairs.

>> No.8406444

I thought I was trans and almost committed suicide.

Now I don't even think about gender at all these days.

>> No.8406445

>>8406408
Yeah I think I have less anxiety than I used to. I was a huge pussy about death and dying before, just put off confronting even thinking about it and I needed it to in order to break out of my existential crisis

>> No.8406468

>>8406445
I'm glad it's working out for you now, anon.

>> No.8406489

>>8406416
>It started working within about three days.

so the change was obvious, it sounds like.

how long were you at the clinic? once the med was prescribed and it took effect, is that when you were discharged?

I'm asking because it has been pointed out to me that I have a bunch of spectrum attributes and I have those
>One semester, I'd do very well and get A's in all my honors-level courses, then the next semester would come and I'd fail most of them. I felt like I was trapped, somehow, in my own head, not able to focus, not able to really do what I wanted to do even when I wanted to do it.

all through my life, too,

>> No.8406508

>>8405207
>23, kissless virgin

Aren't something like 1/4 guys virgins at 24 or something like that? Not something to get worked up over.

>living with my parents,

Me too. Pretty common these days as well. Rent is high, and depneding on where you live it's very hard to afford housing without a decent salary.

>no education past high school,

What would you like to study? University degrees are mostly worthless these days. If you're gonna get into school I'd recommend looking into technical diplomas with clear career paths.

>only have a part time job which I got through nepotism,

That's how most people get jobs. Again, nothing to be ashamed of.

>no ambitions or drive to succeed.

This one I struggle with as well. And since you're reading, I'll recommend you read Oblomov. It's about a man who idles much of his life away. It's such an excellent book. And I think you'll relate to it as much as I did.

>> No.8406516

>>8405128
>20
>third world country
>no money
>studying architecture and already have a job in a prestigious architectural firm
>not getting payed though, because I'm too young and actually wanted to remain unpayed because I wanted to focus only on gaining experience and not letting money deviate it.
>i fucking love architecture
>still feel empty, no motivation
>already considered both quitting my job and dropping out many times
>homosexual in a very catholic country (actually like 75% homo, 25% hetero)
>still no QT (neither boy or girl)
>I know ill stay the rest of my life alone because I am searching for an intellectual greek canon QT that I know I'll never find
>tried killing myself 3 times and failed all 3
>depressed cuz ill never be a XIX century libertine (among other things)
>I would just like to go full NEET and have money to go full Benedict IX and waste it on alcohol and other drugs, sex and partying with friends.

>> No.8406557

I'm old enough to have had a few lows in my life. The first was after highschool, but the decline started long before that where slowly I withdrew from social interaction and started playing WoW for hours and hours a day. This was when it first came out so people didn't really understand how consuming it was. Thinking back, it was actually pretty rare for kids to play videogames then, because it was a thing mostly for "losers and nerds".

Naturally my grades plummeted, but I didn't give a damn. I didn't give a damn about anything in those last 2 years of high school. I just wanted to fly under the radar and be left alone, but always teachers would ask me "what's going on? Last year you did so well". I barely got into the shittiest university in the province, and it was for some program they just made up for indecisive idiots like me: A bachelor of arts and science. I "withdrew my application" after the first semester, cut my losses and moved across the country where I did nothing but work in a grimy kitchen and smoke pot for two years in a squalid room. At that point the economy was booming and I could have picked up a trade or worked in the oil sands quite easily, but I was content with being a cook, playing WoW/DotA, and smoking pot all day long. I put myself so far behind my peers that it still affects me to this day. My peers are buying houses, having children, and well into their careers... I hate to think back on such a waste of life.

>> No.8406559

>>8406489
I was at clinic less than a day. I was in and out, and they diagnosed me pretty quickly. They prescribed the medicine at my local pharmacy, I started taking it, then I had a follow-up in about a month. I was never at any point 'committed,' so to speak.

Here's the real test of autism spectrum stuff. Can you make eye contact with people? When you try to, do you always feel awkward, and never manage to do it? If so, you probably have autism of some kind.

>> No.8406571

>Whine and get your shit out of your chest
>Ask for some books on the subject so you make it fit /lit/

FUCK OFF TO /SOC/

ALL OF YOU

>> No.8406588

>>8405228
Thats why I will start a band and if it doesn't work out i will either kill myself or become a bum.
Or I'll get me some neetbux

>> No.8406590

>>8406559
thanks

>> No.8406614

>>8406571
Agreed. My current sentiment for life matches everyone's here to be perfectly honest, but literature and discussions of it are an oasis. Don't fuck up the board with this emo shit.

>> No.8406716

>>8405228
>I accept also that for society to function everybody must sacrifice their contentment and happiness and desires (to varying extents) for the sake of the community as a whole

nice slave morality you have going on there

Submitting yourself to the demands of society is essentially admitting to yourself and everyone that you're an aesthetically bankrupt human being and are content with serving people who are concerned only with their own enjoyment

>> No.8407046
File: 26 KB, 358x449, 1470222818786.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407046

>>8406571
>>8406614

>My current sentiment for life matches everyone's here to be perfectly honest, but literature and discussions of it are an oasis. Don't fuck up the board with this emo shit.

This. Every navel-gazing idiot who responded to this thread with a sob story of their own deserves to be run the fuck out of this board until they finally learn that /lit/ = literature.

Go somewhere else if you have such an overwhelming desire to be a lame millennial all the time.

>> No.8407060

>>8405710
i will only become uglier and less appealing with time. i have my looks to compensate for my personality, i won't have that in the future though

>> No.8407069

>>8406411
Tisserand?

>> No.8407073

>>8405431
This desu. The only woman I cared about now lives in a third world shithole and might be dead for all I know.

>> No.8407079

I'm 19 years old.

I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.

I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.

I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.

I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.

Both my parents are alive and in good health.

I have no regrets.

I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.

I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.

I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.

I will live a good life at your expense.

>> No.8407133

>>8405128
I dropped out of university in my final year of a Bachelor of Engineering degree with only 3 months left of it. I ended up taking a Bachelor of Science away from it due to "medical reasons", having completed 3 years, but I feel I'll never be respected by my peers because of it, nor get as good a job as I wish I could with it.

I was drinking heavily at the time, taking drugs, sleeping around. It was fun but I fucked my life because of it. I couldn't balance my life at the time and had no aspirations to be anything. I was 22 and able to keep an income from a bar job and ended up going full time there after I decided uni wasn't happening. I wasn't going to classes, my lecturers were worried about my projects, even got recommended to the university psychotherapist. I took that and it helped somewhat. Helped me talk to my Mum about it more than anything.

After I got my BSc that summer I left the city and went to work as a go-kart manager. Two years after that I got a job in a small town as a Design Engineer/technician. I'm working my way up but fuck, I could have been in a better place by now.

>> No.8407169

>>8407133
How old are you?

>> No.8407179

>make /r9k/ thread
>books/music for this feel so it's related to the board now
at least 20 a day

100 replies might as well pile on

I went through two years of "depression" at the beginning of university (not sure how much was me making excuses for wallowing in my own muck playing on the computer all day) and completely tanked pretty much every aspect of my life at that point.
For two years after that I had to write a letter to the school explaining why my GPA was so bad (despite acing every class after I went back) so they'd let me stay another semester

>> No.8407183

>>8407169
28 in October. I'm in the process of leaving my job without anything lined up yet.

>> No.8407188

>>8407179
Please, at least /lit/ is full of interesting people with a story to tell and the capacity to tell it well.

>> No.8407195
File: 1.08 MB, 560x460, 1432507911545.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407195

Nobody in this thread comes close to my loser level.

>27
>Go to uni to study Classics with a major in Ancient Greek
>Do pretty well, get along with professor since we both have a very deep interest in Heideggerian philosophy
>Get monumentally depressed somewhere along the semester
>stop going to class, stop working out, stop talking to people and just sit in my room doing nothing because petrified of meeting people and having to deal with them
>get e-mails from professor asking what is going on
>tell him that I won't be coming anymore, but that i'll maybe resume my studies at some later point in life(complete lie)
>Get a e-mail back saying he is disappointed
>Get even more depressed
>Think about suicide all the time

I really should just quit life at this point.

>> No.8407211

>>8406421
your basically a murderer. you should be in jail.

>> No.8407232

>>8407195
Jesus Christ, just get help, seriously. If you bottle it up it only gets worse. Go to a doctor or talk to your professor if nobody else.

Thinking you've got it the worst is so pathetic that you probably should rid us from yourself but it's just not true and you only have yourself to blame for it.

>> No.8407240

>>8407232
I've tried getting help, but nobody really takes it seriously.

>> No.8407242

>>8405748
teach English in Asia senpai, anyone with a degree can do it.

>> No.8407243

>>8407240
That's because you don't sound as though you're taking it seriously.

>> No.8407249

>>8407243
>That's because you don't sound as though you're taking it seriously.

Yeah, what do you expect me to do then? Go to the fucking doctor, as a 27 year old man and start crying?

Well I can't do that, because I don't feel anything. I just feel empty.

>> No.8407256

>>8407240
Go to a psychiatrist you worthless spergatron, they're literally paid to be your pseudo-buddy and take your trite problems seriously.

>> No.8407257

>>8407249
I went to a doctor with that same attitude. Acted normal, said I thought there was something wrong with me, they listened, nothing really came of it. It set me on a path though. Opening up to this one person allowed me to talk about it casually with others.

Just do it, you don't need to cry but be sincere about it. Talking to your lecturer about it may help as well. Even just an email telling him the truth would be better than ignoring it.

>> No.8407264

>>8407257
I was sincere. I told her that I was deeply depressed, that I had lost any hope in my future, and that I had recurring thoughts of suicide.

She just said: "Ok, are you getting enough exercise? Do you sit in front of the computer more than an hour a day? That's probably your problem."

And I just left.

>> No.8407269

>>8407232

I am pretty much the same except I'm 22, and I'm trash and stupid, so not even as good as you. Also, I was extremely anxious before I got depressed. Apparently, I got severe OCD (can't touch outside things), and I get anxiety from people seeing me, including my parents.

Hope you get better anon.

>> No.8407277
File: 1.47 MB, 2448x3264, IMG_20160719_085058.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407277

>25 years old, degree in economics and finance
>$65k AUD job for state government, zero motivation but work is a extremely low pressure and easy (can literally read books on screen and still meet deliverables)
>thinking of leaving my qtpie gf of 7 years to pursue solitary life ofbself contemplation, possibly in Asia
>INTP

Am I throwing away a good thing? Although I have all the creature comforts of life I feel extremely unfulfilled and depressed, all I want in life is to find my own subjective truth and meaning

Pic. Related me and my gf

>> No.8407278

>>8405128
I am a bit past 26. Finished my master in physics last year while suffering from mild depression. Then I took three months travelling in Japan, best period in my life. Have been a NEET since then. I tried to find a job, offered once but convinced myself I am really not suitable for the position.

Actually, I am pretty sure I don't want to work because it seems like a big waste of time. I am spending most of the day reading books and I am quite satisfied with it. I want to write a book but I always tell myself I am not qualified for anything.

The only constraint for my NEET life is my benevolent mom. I don't want her to feel bad for having raised a cripple for the society. I will probably find a shitty job soon, a job that allows me to think about my book while working.

>> No.8407283

>>8407264
Here's a though:

How about going back, not walking out when they offer suggestions, answering their questions and try to get some medication if at all possible.

Do you get enough exercise? Do you spend too long in front of the computer? I know my answers to those questions. There's no quick fix. Take baby steps. Get exercise. Go outside.

>> No.8407287

>>8407183
What are your plans?

>> No.8407293

>>8407283
I've exhausted all options at this point. Started lifting weights at a gym and I managed it for 6 months before I couldn't handle the social anxiety I get from being around people.

I started going for long walks instead, but it did nothing for my mood.

Talked to family members about it, but they don't really care either, so I stopped doing that.

Tried to eat properly, started to buy fruits and vegetables, and eat more healthily, again, did nothing for my mood.

So, no, you're right, there are no quick fixes, because there are no fixes at all.

>> No.8407304

>>8407287
Well my girlfriend of five years moved to Germany about a year ago and I'm finally in a mental state to follow her. She has a flat and a job to support me but I want to be able to help out with that from the get go rather than spend a few months unemployed in a different country. Been there, done that.

I've been looking and applying for 4 months now but got nothing back. Have told my work I'm leaving but there's no set in stone date yet. They're happy to keep me but I have zero ties where I am because I move to a small town for the job and honestly didn't make many friends.

>> No.8407316

>>8407277
I think you have to travel and explore yourself, otherwise the depression and unfulfillment will just perpetuate itself. That doesn't mean leaving the country, but just trying something major that's outside of your comfort zone.

This Australian (ethnically Asian like you though) bloke in my girlfriend's family decided to join the fire brigade there just to push himself (he had a good economics degree like you). He told me that without that, he wouldn't know his capabilities, hardships or how adaptable he is as a person. Like can you imagine this 5'8 Asian dude joining the fucking fire brigade with all these burly blokes on it? After a few years he left to explore other possibilities and is now working fairly high up at JPMorgan.

Just some food for thought man (ps you and your gf are both cuties)

>> No.8407324

>>8407316

Made me laugh a bit when you said the height of the Asian dude to show he was small.
>mfw I'm a 5'1 white dude.

>> No.8407337

>>8406516
Which country m8?

>> No.8407342

>be awkward friendless loser
>go to college and somehow make a bunch of friends
>finally have a social life and go out regularly
>fall for a girl; she turns out to be a lesbian but I become monomaniacal about her
>she starts to hate me and I start to push everyone away
>have to quit college because of the stress
>now neet and with the knowledge that no matter how hard I try and act otherwise, I'm always going to be "that weird guy"

>> No.8407343
File: 1.02 MB, 3264x2448, IMG_20160120_154117.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407343

>>8407316

I've convinced myself that I need to walk my own path, and being a solitary person it's a path that takes me away from her.

The tragedy is that she has chosen her path as one that follows me.

I love her truly, but rationally I know that we cannot both be happy. She will never provide the intellectual and soulful fulfilment I seek, and I can never be the faithful emotional companion for her.

Thinking of going on an existential philosophy literary journey, I've heard kierkegaard confronts these themes in Either/Or?

>> No.8407358

I envy the people in this thread who can go travelling for months, work part-time, and who don't feel an intense duty to work full-time. I am spooked out and fear that quitting full-time work will lead to a life of poverty, further humiliation and loneliness. Simply to take a month out and read every day would be amazing. Am I too pussy? Or am I """mature""""? Or what is it?

>> No.8407361

>>8407304
>girlfriend of five years

Well you have that at least. Must feel great to have someone willing to support and believe in you.

>> No.8407367

>>8407343
>The tragedy is that she has chosen her path as one that follows me.

HOW THE FLIP DO NORMIES DO THIS

I WANT A FOLLOWER GF

THIS SUCKS

I FEEL LIKE A FRICKING AI CHARACTER IN AN RPG WATCHING ALL THE CHAD PROTAGONISTS RUNNING AROUND WITH QTS CHASING THEIR HEELS

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>> No.8407369

>>8407343
I think you'd be making the right choice anon, and it's fucking horrible to leave and hurt somebody you love so much, but sometimes you need to be selfish to avoid future misery that not addressing the problem will bring.

Kierkegaard is probably the best starting place for you, but don't let his thoughts temper yours too much (he is very angsty, and though this may present some solidarity it will likely not resolve your personal inner problems). Reading thinkers such as Heidegger after Kierkegaard is much more helpful in my experience.

I wish you all the best anon, and hope you find the happiness you seek (if you do then please let me know because I'm in the exact same situation with my gf)

>> No.8407377

>>8407358
ur too spooked mate, it'll be fine as long as you spend the time productively

>> No.8407378

>>8407293
Lifting weights isn't the only exercise. Go running. Remote places where there aren't any people. Better yet buy a bike. Exploring on a bike is easier.

Eat only hotdogs from a can to save momey. Do what you want with the extra money you'll save.

You've never mentioned about your lecturer. You seemed to get on with him. Talk to him.

>> No.8407385

>>8405128
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfUkwBnEWpU

>> No.8407386
File: 77 KB, 500x281, 1466548782163.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407386

>>8407277

These are all champagne problems and you don't even see it. I thought this was a subtle humblebrag post until I realised that you are genuinely trying to lament the state of things right now.

Are you having a fucking laugh?

>> No.8407392

>>8407343

>Thinking of going on an existential philosophy literary journey

the /soc/ normie who posts pictures of his girl to strange fucks online in pity party threads is thinking of going on "an existential philosophy literary journey". that should end well.

you are a middle-class narcissist btw.

>> No.8407393

My life from the age of 18 to present. I was doing very well at school in maths and science and subjects that I liked. I thoughtlessly picked engineering at my hometown university.

It's a third rate university, a worthless corporate cuck training degree, I lived at home and had literally zero social life all throughout, not even acquaintances. I finished in 2015 and have mostly been working part time job since but mainly doing nothing.

Of course I see no meaning in life, not because lolnointetestingjob but for the standard reasons. I think lit's desire to find meaning in religion is a pretentious affectation.

>> No.8407395

>>8407386
>implying wealth has a bearing on existential struggles and the need for self-affirmation

>> No.8407408

>>8407361
Yeh I'm relatively happy now. Only a little anxious. The spot we're both in now could possibly have been achieved years ago is my only dissatisfaction.

>> No.8407409

>>8407395

>implying you aren't a Reddit twat who deserves a fucking smack upside your well-positioned-in-life face for even trying to talk about your "problems" itt

>> No.8407420

>>8407409
Didn't talk about my problems, just enjoying seeing you trying to put 'poor problems' on a pedestal and claiming some kind of moral superiority due to not being able to pay your bills

>> No.8407433

>>8407392
>>8407386

The point of my posts is not to humble brag as you put it but rather to share that even though people here may be complaining of poverty and loneliness, on the flipside there are always people with their own struggles. If life was as simple as finding (any) mate, and having stable employment, there wouldn't be any need for this board.

>>8407395

>> No.8407437

>>8407420

If you really can't see the hubris in coming to a thread like this with problems that would be seen as comparative goals to most then you truly are as self-absorbed as you appear to be.

You want to cry about your problems to anon who'd love to have "problems" like that and expect anon to have equal regard for you and your situation. I hope you get to where you want to be in life and all that but you are a literal twat if you can't see the hubris in doing this.

>> No.8407439

>>8405128
My mid-teens were pretty shitty and lonely, but since then life's been largely fun.

lmaoing at your blatant insertion of a board-relevant question at the end.

>> No.8407443

>>8407437
I'm the one with the "hubris", it genuinely wasn't my intent, please try to understand it even though it may seem that way.

I'm not >>8407420

>> No.8407448

>>8407437
And likewise, many going through existential crises would love to have a tangible problem to solve in paying bills, finding good work, etc. instead of crippling depression and self-doubt. The grass is always greener.

I haven't talked about my problems or tried to get anything off my chest ITT as I said in my post (I'm actually pretty happy, doing well in life and don't have depression and have friends I can talk to if I did), I just take interest in others trying to overcome their own struggles and want to give them support wherever I can.

>> No.8407460

>>8407443

>it genuinely wasn't my intent

If it genuinely wasn't then alright. I'm not going to be difficult after a line like that.

It takes a pretty big instinctual pull to want to throw that much away, so if you're really feeling that pull then maybe you should listen to it.

>> No.8407465

>>8407460

Lately I've been reading a lot about personalities, I don't want to go down that confirmation bias route but maybe that's it?

>> No.8407467

>>8407437
If you're this jaded by it all no wonder you haven't gotten anywhere in life.

Live and let live but having "comfortable" as a goal by anyone's description isn't the end of all your problems. Being poor sucks. Maybe you shouldn't have bought that high horse.

>> No.8407470

>>8405328
>some kind of fog just descended on my head
>I gave up at one point and became an alcoholic
Dude, it sounds lile you're severely depressed. You should talk to a doctor about taking something. It could very much change your entire viewpoint on living.

>> No.8407480

>>8407467

Read my last post to him you little passive aggressive faggot. I have no problem with the guy.

>> No.8407496

>>8407480
You had a problem with his post because from your point of view everyone needs to be in a similar situation to yourself in order for you to fit in here. He broke that down and you couldn't handle it.

>> No.8407504

>>8407195
>NOBODY has it worse than me!
>muh depression
Newsflash, kid: every depressedfag thinks the exact same fucking thing.

>> No.8407512

>>8407504
>every depressedfag thinks the exact same fucking thing.

That's because being depressed is highly correlated with narcissism, which makes sense considering you're in pain. It's pretty hard to care about anything else when you're in pain.

>> No.8407515

>>8407277

Yes. Leave all that behind and run to Asia. The externals you've surrounded yourself with now aren't helping, so obviously the answer is different externals.

>> No.8407522

>>8405128
you are me in a couple of years. Except you're living in better country than I do.
There is no escape. Right?

>> No.8407523

Probably currently. I think I'm depressed but I don't want to be some self-righteous self-diagnosing jerk and say I'm certain. I'm sinking into such a state of apathy and indifference and I have a stupid fixation on death and dying and I just feel crazy and like I'm not human and like I'm living in a haze without any true feeling or emotions

I did get properly diagnosed with OCD when I was younger which was it's own special kind of hell to work through but I think I just have lingering anxiety issues alongside it that are slowly killing me

Anyways thanx 4 reading my blogpost

>> No.8407525

>>8407496

>and you couldn't handle it.

A few posts up you plainly see that we are chill over any disagreement. Why are you trying to still make this a thing?

Holy fuck do you love your passive aggression.

>> No.8407526

I once messaged my sister's friend on facebook because I liked her and she didn't respond and it was awkward because she told my sister.

>> No.8407535

>>8405128
21 today and I've never finished anything over 150 pages

I've started eleven different scripts and fiction projects since 2012. Three made it to the first draft. I always spend a couple weeks working on something until I lose interest and give up.

>> No.8407547

>>8407525
You only settled it because, to you, he became inferior by apologising. It's ironic you try to point out how passive aggressive I'm trying to be when you started on that note. You don't have to be a poor NEET to fit in here. Maybe elsewhere on the site but not here.

>> No.8407563

>>8406571
>>8406614
>>8407046
IS THIS FUCKIN THREAD STILL ALIVE?

FUCK OFF TO /SOC/, /R9K/, /B/ or FUCKIN FUCK OFF TO REDDIT

This board has been fucked up after Katie. We need new mods.

ANYONE THERE LISTENING? WE NEED NEW MODS

>> No.8407606

>>8407293
dude
fuck this shit >>8407378
you need to talk to people. i've found that amongst everyone who's ever depressed, it's because they're constantly skirting the issue of human connection. i'm not talking about some hallmark channel intervention be completely pathetic and cry about how much you hate yourself. you clearly have some things unsaid and you need to say them, you need to laugh your ass off at whatever really makes you laugh, you need to rage at whatever really pisses you off you need to cry or at least feel like shit at whatever makes you fucking sad. this get exercise, change your diet bullshit is all professional bullshit which ignores the human reality of needing to have some form of recognition, identification. if you've ever watched deconstructing harry, you're out of focus right now. if you don't have anyone you can shoot the shit with then you need to find people you can, stop this entire "im having an existential crisis" bullshit, you're just fucking lonely motherfucker, keep in mind you can be lonely with other people too. you need to speak the fuck up. if you're really desperate go find a hooker and pay her to cry to her about your life, fuck therapists they're just paid friends who won't give you a blowjob.

>> No.8407626

>>8407606
What's the tl;dr synopsis of Deconstructing Harry?

Greentext pls?

>> No.8407630

>>8405128
I literally can't express how much better my life has been since I attended Oxford. I went to a state school and gradually became the stereotypical moody, withdrawn sensitive type who both despises the quality of his immediate culture and feels a weird pride for having been raised in a sort of anti-intellectual and brutal environment. I was all set to take my Russell Group humanities BA and spend my life working as an anonymous, insecure wageslave forever thankful of being offered a job and forever too insecure to pursue my creative ambitions. The chip on my shoulder had become something of a wedge, and I felt too out of place regardless of my environment, too resentful and bitter to even attempt to make it in the artistic world. Then I finally applied for Oxford and got in to study an English MA, with reassurance that should I work hard enough a career in academia or within one of Oxford's affiliated companies would be almost guaranteed. I turned up as apprehensive as usual, and the first few days were spent regretting my decision and desperately feigning a cultured personality. But then I realized that the people there were just interesting and that the snobbery and exclusivity I had anticipated was just a myth borne out of my working class upbringing. I've since graduated, having spend the year dining in grand halls with groups of interesting people, dating several girls (one of whom, a petite Russian whose family traces back to the aristocracy, is now my fiancee). I work four days a week at a publishing company and earn £38k a year. I regularly meet up with friends from my college and visit Oxford for nights out and for meetings with my professors.

>> No.8407631

>>8407626
watch/wiki it you lazy motherfucker

>> No.8407645

>>8407631
I haven't watched a movie since 2013. My attention span has atrophied. I'll read the summary on IMDB and decide whether its' a good movie or not based on that.

>> No.8407649

>>8407630
Why doesn't anybody post the final few sentences of this pasta?

It's supposed to end with "in the presence of greatness"

>> No.8407663

>>8407645
it's ok. typical woody allen. if you like him generally you'll like it. worth watching for the out of focus part.

>> No.8407673

>>8407663
Could you summarize what you mean by "the out of focus part" within 140 characters please? thnx

>> No.8407679

I am happily married to my beautiful intelligent wife and we have two wonderful intelligent happy children, and we are all happy.

>> No.8407680

>>8407673
cameras? you know focus? he gets out of it.

>> No.8407686

>>8407680
Could you please summarize this post in a hashtag?

>> No.8407689

>>8407679
*Once In A Lifetime starts playing*

>> No.8407701

>>8407606
>just be urself :^)

>> No.8407718

>>8405228
>I accept also that for society to function everybody must sacrifice their contentment and happiness and desires
This is some lower class capitalist mind shit, and you need to improve your attitude. Do you think CEO's sacrifice their "happiness"? Fuck no, they're busy making plays that will net them more money.
Success is in the mind, and it's never about whats fair.

>> No.8407734

>>8407701
the only people who say b yrself ironically are people who identify themselves with the ideologies of others.

>> No.8407779

>>8407718
But see the fact is kiddo, somebody needs to audit taxes for eight hours a day, someone needs to drive trains and build the bridges, someone needs to clean the toilets in Wausau (Wisconsin). I really despise the kind of people (and they really are a different 'kind' of people) who make life seem like some fun adventure where you shouldn't take anything seriously and where adulthood is something you can choose not to participate in. When a man reaches maturity he should put childish things aside and get to work to maintain the society which allowed him such a fine childhood. That means no self-pity, no emotional outbursts, no entitled demands, and no complaints of boredom or lack of fulfillment. What it does mean is rising at 6am, combing your hair, exercising, putting on a formal suit and traveling to work with a smile on your grateful face. It means working as long as it takes to get the job done and being a team player, not a narcissist. It means staying until 8pm if necessary either to bond with your co-workers or to finish that project you were going to leave until tomorrow. It means sleeping with as many women as you can in your youth and then settling down with one in your twenties, having children with her, and working your goddamn a** off to provide them both with a stable and comfortable home. Enough with the guys who wear band tshirts and torn jeans in their 20s. Enough with the over-emotional and apathetic young men who are as passive-aggressive as a discontented wife. in case you haven't noticed kid, there are already enough "artists" in the world. There are enough books and movies and songs. If you really want to add to them then I tell you what, find yourself a job, put in the hours, and then travel home and use your spare time to create Chucky's little masterpiece. Got that? I am sick of working 60 and sometimes 70 hours a week and paying out of the a** in taxes while guys my age, twenty-four years old, are out there working part-time and subscribing to the "taking each day as it comes" which is quite frankly embarrass beyond the age of fourteen. At sixteen I was already working every evening and every weekend to save up money for college. I worked throughout college, often taking on two jobs while also seeking internships, just to further my way in life. Just because some entitled little narcissistic brat think the world owes him a favour because daddy was a little distant in his youth, doesn't mean he has anything worthwhile to say or write. And this goes out to all of you, yeah, all of you kids out there who treat life like some game, yeah, like some game you can just play whenever you feel like. Well life's not a game,, though I'm sure some of you will learn that soon enough when you hit 25 and there's no wife beside you in bed at night, no car parked in the driveway, no home to return to after busting your b****s working from 5am to 9pm because a big deal is going down. Yeah, you'll learn soon enough. Makes me sick.

>> No.8407793

>>8407470
Not the guy you replied to but i have the exact same problem except for the alcoholism. Do you really think a doctor would help?

>> No.8407809
File: 23 KB, 720x480, mamimi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8407809

I wrote a short story for a contest in High School and my mom read it, visibly cringed and said: "You'll have to look at this again." It wasn't even that long ago but I did read it again recently and had the same reaction as her. Basically bullshit about teenage feelings and loss of loved oned, dribble that John Green would write, but somehow in the most pompous, overwritten prose known to man. Cringe.
>>8405128
>Niea_7
Great, great taste man, it's such an underrated anime, currently watching it. I love how they can make a funny, light-hearted show after Lain and have such realistic, lovable characters. It's such a realistic representation how life is a crock of shit with tiny blinks of enjoyment now and then, and still it isn't depressing at all. And the lo-fi animation techniques just add to the charm.

>> No.8407811

>>8405128
my diary des.u

>> No.8408064

bump

>> No.8408088

>>8407809
>Great, great taste man, it's such an underrated anime, currently watching it. I love how they can make a funny, light-hearted show after Lain and have such realistic, lovable characters. It's such a realistic representation how life is a crock of shit with tiny blinks of enjoyment now and then, and still it isn't depressing at all. And the lo-fi animation techniques just add to the charm.
Finally, someone who understands.
t. not OP

>> No.8408133

>>8407606
this is good advice

And I say this as a fag that was pretty down a certain time in my life. Though not having to deal with retarded flatmates helps also. As do exercising and healthy living, but that is just basis. Interaction is the key

>> No.8408142

>>8407606
This is such retarded advice for most depressed people. Naturally, you will try to express yourself but if all you have to articulate is pain, no one will like to listen. I say that as someone who lost all his friends in high school because he got too emotional when he was drunk.

>> No.8408146

>>8408088
My man

>> No.8408211

>>8408133

How is that good advice? I'm fucking trash. I wish I had friends, but I can't (because of anxiety/depression/my idiocy), and don't want because I'm trash. I'm not worth the time of other people. I'm already sad, I don't want to make other people sad as well with my fucking presence. I don't want to be even more of a boulder on people.

>> No.8408271
File: 22 KB, 324x310, IMG_20160811_223120.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8408271

>>8407779
t.unsuccessful mindset
No man should choose to be miserable. It's ultimately up to you to define your happiness, and there is no reason why you can't define it the way you see fit.

>> No.8408311

>>8405128

Almost 31.

After college been working a job I hate in a completely unrelated field than my degree for over 6 years because it is very informal, pays enough to be comfortable on, and I can slack off sometimes.

I want to go back for further studies or a masters, but don't have the balls to quit my job and get loans to do it.

>> No.8408409

>>8407779
so the ideal life is to sabotage ones freedom
>where is Dostoevsky when you need him

>> No.8408449

>>8405128
I'm 22 years old, a kissless virgin who wishes that he could be a gay submissive femboy into crossdressing and outfits and having a close knit network of lgbt feminist tumblr friends who are artsy and enjoy books, art, and music. I have no friends though, I've never had friends, I've always been a loner. I feel like I am probably more alone and miserable than 95% of all people on the planet earth.

I don't understand why there can't be face to face interaction as a part of every day life. Every day it's just a matter of superficial 'necessity' interactions, or I should say more like once a week, when I go to the grocery store. The only times when I really interact with other people is out of necessity, like when I'm paying for groceries or something. It's so sad and miserable, but I know that the only way that I could really be around other people to socialize with is if I just went out to some random social gathering place like a club or something, which makes me so uncomfortable because of my social anxiety and doesn't fit with my personality anyways because I'm an introvert; or I would have to go and get a job like everyone else.

I just don't want a job, I have had jobs before and I'm not a friendly co worker, I feel very unhappy about going to work and it's almost impossible for me not to wear a big huge fucking frown on my face whenever I'm in a work environment because it's so boring and it feels so pointless. I felt like I was on the verge of crying when I was being given this job orientation to this job stocking shelves at a natural foods grocery store. I called the job orientationer immediately afterwards and told her I wasn't interested. I feel like I could be doing something so much more, something which actually uses my skills, whatever they may be. I feel like I'm more intelligent than to be doing moron work which may as well be taken care of by robots. I fucking hate this world so much, I fucking hate this world so much, I fucking hate this world so much, I fucking hate this world so much.

>> No.8408465

>>8407679
The number of times you used happy or som variant of it makes it sound like you're trying to convince yourself that it's the case when it's not.

>> No.8409531

>>8407606
t. yet another neurotypical who has no idea what depression is actually about

>> No.8409531,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>8409531
Well, that he may be, but I think he has a point when it comes to the non-neurochemical part of depression being mostly caused by loneliness. It kind of makes sense somehow. Humans are social animals, etc.

>> No.8409531,2 [INTERNAL] 

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/09/make-you-happy-2/