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/lit/ - Literature

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8404766 No.8404766[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

dear diary.....

>> No.8404770

desu

>> No.8404781

who else /diary/ here?

>> No.8404808

... Love, Skirtwaylauder

>> No.8404813

>>8404781
me :D

>> No.8404818

I have a 40 page script I should write for a college class but I'm incapable of writing any coherent story. So I'm coming to /lit/ every day to gather some ideas but this board moves at a snail pace and most of the active threads are about books I can't even comprehend.
I wish I had a girlfriend that can cook and write a good 40 page story for me. Also that has above average size boobs.
-Anon

>> No.8404863

>>8404766
...i hurt myself today.

>The story of Doug has always been synonymous with the life of Jinkins, who conceived of the character in the early ’80s as his cartoon alter ego. What happened to the love of Doug’s life? That’s where Jinkins’ tale about his surprise reconnection with the real Patti Mayonnaise comes in. If you want to know what happens to Doug, you must first find out what happened to Jim:

>"It’s my ten-year reunion, and I didn’t go. I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there. And I got a phone call in New York and it’s Patti. The real Patti. And my heart’s beating fast. She’s like, ‘I was at the reunion! You weren’t!’ and I was like, ‘Yeah…sorry…I had to work.’ And she goes, ‘I found out you live in New York. Guess what—I do, too!’ And she told me where she lives. We lived across Central Park from each other. And she says, ‘Why don’t you come over for dinner?’

>"So now we’re in a Doug show. I’m like, what do I wear? What will she look like!? All that’s happening as I’m walking across Central Park to her apartment, just wondering and just hoping, all those things. I was, at the time, very available.

>"I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turn—it’s getting ready to happen—and she opens the door, and she’s perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and she’s so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and I’m just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes ‘Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs!’ [Laughs.] It sounds like I’m making this up, right? And I’m like, ‘Yeah… yeah, uh huh!’ ‘Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look!’ And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but it’s like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

>"So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, ‘Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.’

>"And I don’t even remember the rest of the evening."

>> No.8404881

>>8404863
>and I don't even remember the rest of the evening
Too polite to mention that he was invited over for a devil's threesome. Swell guy.

>> No.8405073

>>8404766
>How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?
>mfw he's describing me

except i wake up at 6am

am i patrician lit?

>> No.8406076

The infinite jest was actually refrenced in doug, gimme a sec, finding it

>> No.8406130

Dougs diary, desu