/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:04:18 2016 No.8312991 [Reply] [Original]

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:06:37 2016 No.8313001 Masterful dialogue in the literary realism tradition. Took my breath away.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:08:41 2016 No.8313012 >>8312991 >contemporary date >characters challenge conventions to show their wisdom

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:12:02 2016 No.8313021 Funny, I literally had scrambled eggs for dinner yesterday.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:13:20 2016 No.8313027 Terrible

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:15:37 2016 No.8313036 It's so dense, it's like poetry

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:16:23 2016 No.8313040 >>8312991 pottery

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:17:17 2016 No.8313043 I just wanna grab his glasses, snap them and laugh in his face

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:20:32 2016 No.8313060 Because eggs were taken from the hen house in the morning and eaten fresh.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:25:53 2016 No.8313083 >>8312991 Go to bed, Quentin Tarantino

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:34:53 2016 No.8313101
File: 12 KB, 346x246, tarantino-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8313083
Jules: You ever think about why breakfast foods are breakfast foods?
Vincent: What are you talkin' about?
Jules: You know, like, who was the first muthafucka to come along and say that eggs can only be breakfast food?
Vincent: What do you want, do you want to have fuckin' breakfast for dinner or some shit?
Jules: I don't want fuckin' breakfast for dinner, I want some fuckin' eggs for dinner without some muthafucka telling me I'm eating muthafuckin' breakfast!
Vincent: Alright, Jeez. If it's so fuckin' important to you I'll get behind you on it.
Jules: Thank you.

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:35:48 2016 No.8313103

>>8312991
You're seriously deluding yourself if you think John Green takes his characters seriously. He writes them as who they are : privileged kids confronted to existential issues. Hazel is going through a phase of angst, she's not aware of the absurdity of existence so she's denying it through infinite, sometimes ridiculous, ontological interrogations.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:39:16 2016 No.8313110 >>8313101 pretty good

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:42:16 2016 No.8313121 >>8313101 This is good. I like you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:46:38 2016 No.8313135 >>8313121 wow I hate you now

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:47:37 2016 No.8313139 >>8313101 10/10

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:51:13 2016 No.8313154 File: 594 KB, 1242x2056, brkfst_sc2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Posting best Seinfeld version.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:53:55 2016 No.8313167 >>8313154 I love how not a single word is changed.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:58:06 2016 No.8313174 >>8313167 because seinfeld is also shit

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:58:07 2016 No.8313175

here, I'mma rewrite this shit

------

Why be these foods the ones for consumption at breakfast time |brekky brekky smile eggs scrambled bacon in aditione| know why not eat curry?

Haze my, haze my dear please eat ()

But mom, O mom, where come the eggwill?

POPS (OS IMPLETVM): 汝返國, 早飯晚飯?

HAZEL: NON VOLO "PRANDIVM SICUT CENAM" HABERE : nigga I want scrambled eggs for din din with no prejudices, bitch.

Maman: putain j't'déteste, con, mais si ça c'est ton problème, on te supporte

scivi stultum esse, but yo i was be cry for scrambled eggs

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:00:23 2016 No.8313186 >>8313175 Ezra?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:01:19 2016 No.8313187 File: 179 KB, 492x351, 166007092-winking-retro-chef-with-speech-bubble-gettyimages.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313060 I like your style, anon.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:01:40 2016 No.8313189 >>8313174 Nah. It's an entirely different dynamic. Also, the OP is harmless.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:03:59 2016 No.8313199 >>8312991 I'll never get over how good this is

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:05:49 2016 No.8313202

Very realistic dialogue which captures the utter banality of everyday conversion. A truly masterful scene.

>>8313154
>>8313167
>>8313174
The difference is we're supposed to take hazels ontological musing seriously. Whereas we know George is a neurotic moron so we just laugh at him and his stupid chatter.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:05:51 2016 No.8313203 File: 28 KB, 480x360, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313174 shut up faggot

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:10:19 2016 No.8313223 File: 106 KB, 620x387, Barney_2265600b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >criticising a literal children's author What other literature shall we critique today, /lit/? I hear some of the writing in Barney & Friends is pretty shit.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:16:17 2016 No.8313240 Words don't die, they shift meanings and usages. One is always able to use them in their older contexts by specifying this to the reader.

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:16:27 2016 No.8313242
File: 2.52 MB, 2800x1622, john-green.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8313223
>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”
>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:17:36 2016 No.8313250 >>8313242 Is this fucking real? Why do kids these days like this shit? he could have at least found a better word than "penis"

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:18:59 2016 No.8313256

>>8313202
>Very realistic dialogue which captures the utter banality of everyday conversion. A truly masterful scene.
i honestly agree with this
it reads like something you would have seen on Highdeas- it feels like the 2deep4u conversations you had in High School

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:20:17 2016 No.8313261 File: 135 KB, 1200x960, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313242

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:20:24 2016 No.8313262 File: 35 KB, 736x508, Moz.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313250 >he could have at least found a better word than "penis" Bulbous Salutation

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:20:28 2016 No.8313263 >>8312991 am I wrong for enjoying sentimental stuff like this? Is it not a mundane event that you might see in the real world?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:23:46 2016 No.8313274 File: 49 KB, 540x472, A9Wum7h.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I don't use this word lightly and I don't browse /pol/. But man, he's a fucking degenerate.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:26:19 2016 No.8313285 File: 6 KB, 187x250, John Green Cereal.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313274 I don't know why he does all of his deep thinking around breakfast time.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:28:13 2016 No.8313298 >>8313242 Not that I'm any kind of Chad but even I can tell this guy didn't get any in high school.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:32:43 2016 No.8313306 >>8313167 I love the bass at the end.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:45:44 2016 No.8313352 Technically every meal is breakfast. You're always breaking a fast.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:49:03 2016 No.8313363 >>8313101 you forgot about the part where they all dance in a circle around a black cock

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:50:05 2016 No.8313368 >>8313103 >sometimes ridiculous, ontological interrogations >ontological >i'll take "throws in words i don't know how to use correctly to sound smarter on the internet for $500," alex

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 19:05:54 2016 No.8313422 >>8312991 He has a point. It is just food that can be eaten at any time. I've made waffles, bacon, sausage, eggs, etc for supper or lunch.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 19:14:17 2016 No.8313448 >>8313103 thats actually a really refreshing perspective, i learned something from your post. thanks

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 19:18:30 2016 No.8313455 >>8313101 Honestly makes this dialogue acceptable

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 19:18:53 2016 No.8313459 >>8313306 fuck

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 20:08:47 2016 No.8313592 >>8313154 it just works.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 20:16:50 2016 No.8313612 >>8312991 Curry for breakfast would make your breath stink all day.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 20:20:17 2016 No.8313621 File: 48 KB, 393x519, weishenme.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313175 >國 >繁体字

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 20:28:35 2016 No.8313639 >>8312991 This is pretty bad, so much pandering to "common" sensibilities. It's the sort of cute kid dilemma an inspired ad man would write into a commercial for asda.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 20:31:30 2016 No.8313644 This thread is full of people using the word ontological without understanding what ontology is.

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 21:13:00 2016 No.8313750
File: 80 KB, 600x800, John and a girl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8313242
>During the week of July 29, 2012, Looking for Alaska broke into the New York Times best seller list at number ten in Children's Paperback, 385 weeks (more than seven years) after it was released.
>Children's Paperback

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 21:17:46 2016 No.8313762 >>8313262 >fat pink mast

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 21:19:56 2016 No.8313767 >>8313750 he looks like Sid from toy story

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:09:55 2016 No.8314023 >>8312991 Seriously, how did he become a best selling author? I get that there's money to be made in YA but why specifically him?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:11:42 2016 No.8314029 >>8313644 It's like they've never taken a philosophy course at the university level.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:11:51 2016 No.8314032 Fun fact: Eggs are only seen as breakfast food thanks to a huge push from Chicken farmers and associated lobbyists.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:14:51 2016 No.8314040 >>8313101 Not bad when visualizing the actual characters saying it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:19:14 2016 No.8314055 File: 201 KB, 784x588, torito.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8312991 >2016 >not putting a fried egg on your hamburger ISHYGDDT

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:20:23 2016 No.8314060 >>8314055 looks pretty tasty to be quite fucking honest.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:38:47 2016 No.8314118 >>8313612 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl5OFosjNZE

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:40:25 2016 No.8314126 >>8313101 I can totally see this.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 23:41:43 2016 No.8314129 >>8313154 Fucking gold. >>8313174 Kill yourself

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:34:24 2016 No.8314310
File: 176 KB, 1440x900, john-green-ftr.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Alaska sat down on her computer to research some stuff for her homework assignment. When she scrolled through the text on the screen, she saw that one optical illusion that you might see while looking at those wooden fence-things on the side of the road, that one where the individual posts almost look like they're invisible when they're really not.
>"Ugh, why can't I find anything anywhere on post-Kantian object oriented ontology?" she asked out loud, not caring whether her parents heard her.
>They did, and her Mother came into the room. "Still researching stuff, honey?"
>Alaska thought of a response that would demonstrate her extreme distaste for her Mother's question and her use of the term "honey"; if she had just left that one word out, her question wouldn't have sounded nearly as campy and annoying. But the only response she could muster was a sustained grunt, which prompted her Mother to leave the room. When she went back to researching, she noticed a spider in the corner of the ceiling, making a beveled web up there.
>"Oh great", she said out loud. "I'll deal with it later. I have to get back to work."
>So Alaska went on researching Judith Butler's postmodern critique of anthropocentrism in modern culture, and as the hours passed, her notes became flooded with awkward summarizations, and the words became meaningless combinations of images on the screen. She did not avert her gaze on the screen for a full three hours, as the rhythm of type, click, read, click, type, became more and more exaggerated over time.
>Alaska woke up from this state of trance, and decided she needed to get up and do something. She figured it was about time to get rid of the spider.
>When she turned around, what she saw freaked her out beyond belief. The once small bevel of web on the ceiling was now a gigantic blanket of white, and the spider was nowhere to be seen, likely lost somewhere in the web.
>"OH MY GOD WHAT?!?!?!" she screamed. If her parents hadn't gone out on a trip an hour ago, they would have heard this loud exclamation, after which they would have promptly opened up her bedroom door, saw the web, and then vacuumed it with ease. Alaska didn't think to do this, however. She tried to pull the web off, but when her hand made contact with the web, it stuck to it. Trying to get it off, she used her other hand, but it got stuck too. So there she was, pulling on a giant web on the ceiling with both hands stuck to it like cement. Finally, with one great pull, it fell down and wrapped around her entire body, covering her like a mummy.
>Her arms flapped around like a bird's, trying to get it off. But it wouldn't. And as she resisted, it constricted more and more, pulling on her limbs. She violently flung herself onto the floor, where she proceeded to convulse on her belly like a Penguin dancing on ice. Let's just say she was surfing the web

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:35:43 2016 No.8314316 >>8314310 >To research some stuff Devilish slick tongue he's got there.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:38:35 2016 No.8314330 >>8314310 >they would have . . . saw the web, Literary genius

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:42:50 2016 No.8314347 >>8314023 He already had a pre-existing fanbase through youtube.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:52:04 2016 No.8314374 Imagine if you heard someone speaking like that in real life. You'd want to punch their fucking teeth in.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 00:57:22 2016 No.8314390 >>8313012 dude, hating social norms means im smart and freethinking tho

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:29:39 2016 No.8314482
File: 36 KB, 502x334, john green.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8314310
>The thing Alaska did next scared and shocked and surprised me in a way nothing had ever ever scared or shocked or surprised me until that moment, a moment which lasted no longer than one sharp intake of breath but one I have no doubt will last my entire life. She said 'I love you'. Not 'You're cool' or 'I had a really fun time' or 'Do you always kiss like that?' I love you. As in 'I, Alaska Young, love you, Miles Halter'. As in 'I Alaska Young have not only noticed that you Miles Halter exist but I positively adore the fact that you do'. I exhaled. Alaska did too and for the first time I realized she was as scared as I was of admitting the way she felt. I stepped forward and held her hips. 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'I think so!' she replied, smiling. I must have pushed her backwards because just then her body nudged the lightswitch and the room became as dark as my life was without Alaska in it. Laughing, she slipped out of my grasp and disappeared somewhere inside the room. I reached out like a blind man searching for the object that might grant him sight. Truly, I was Looking for Alaska.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:35:47 2016 No.8314498 >>8314310 why is she reading wikipedia for kant instead of actually reading kant?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:46:33 2016 No.8314526 >>8314482 God I genuinely can't even finish one excerpt, it's almost like it's hurting my eyes

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:49:27 2016 No.8314535 >>8314316 >>8314330 >>8314498 >>8314526 >they believe these are actual excerpts

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:08:30 2016 No.8314574 File: 77 KB, 800x600, gass10.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8314482 >Truly, I was Looking for Alaska.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:24:03 2016 No.8314607 >>8314535 we dont read john green like you

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:49:00 2016 No.8314660 File: 9 KB, 255x247, C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_1468950497335.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8314310 >Let's just say she was surfing the web

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:54:35 2016 No.8314674 >>8314574 >Alas, I had found the Fault in Our Stars

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 04:01:55 2016 No.8314834 >>8314347 I was under that impression for a long time, but actually Looking for Alaska was published before he started on YouTube.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 06:37:39 2016 No.8315274 File: 577 KB, 1462x2244, 1465999067305.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8314482 >Truly, I was Looking for Alaska.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 07:03:41 2016 No.8315310 I want to facefuck John Green

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 07:16:27 2016 No.8315329 >>8315310 I want to cook a part of his brain and feed him with it.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:18:34 2016 No.8315455

>>8313242
For fuck's sake, Lara isn't even a Romanian name. Funny thing is, I do know a kid named Lara, but the parents are a couple of hipster-yuppies who would do a thing like that.

And something else: a Romanian person who had that dreadful, caricatural accent would have probably asked "did you ever get a blow job?" instead of "have you ever gotten". That's a common mistake Romanian natives who are not very proficient in English do because Romanian only has a perfect tense and a past perfect and it doesn't make the perfect tense/past tense distinction that English does.

t. professional Romanian

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:24:27 2016 No.8315466 >>8315329 haha cannibal the hanniball xD guys we have a PSYCHOPAT H here

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:25:54 2016 No.8315469 >>8315455 Gyppo pls

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:30:17 2016 No.8315476 >>8315466 lol that's pretty scary u have to admit

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:41:52 2016 No.8315488 >>8314029 The wikipedia entry on ontology would suffice for the attempted conversations here. That's not to denigrate this thread, but, christ, why do people use a word that if they don't have even a basic grasp of its meaning?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:45:52 2016 No.8315495 You just know reading that Hazel is annoying as FUCK.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:58:08 2016 No.8315511 >>8313448 It's just my interpreation and it doesn't make this part any less bad.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 09:03:30 2016 No.8315518

Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods? I asked them. Like, why don't we have tortillas for breakfast food?
The kid, eat.
But why? he asked. I mean, seriously: How did beans get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put scalps on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an beans, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
The Judge answered with his mouth full. When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?
I don't want to have breakfast for dinner, the kid answered, crossing knife and fork over his mostly full plate. I want to have tortillas for dinner without this ridiculous construction that tortillas-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime.
You've gotta pick your battles in this world, the kid," Glanton said. But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you.
Quite a bit behind you, the Judge added, and the priest spat.
Anyway, the kid knew it was stupid, but he felt kind of bad for tortillas.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 11:15:52 2016 No.8315819 >>8314482 I believed this was real until the final sentence.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 19:17:29 2016 No.8317424 >>8315518 thanks

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 19:23:10 2016 No.8317456 >>8313154 >people are such scrubs when it comes to Seinfeld they would think george would use phrases like "breakfast exclusivity" and "construction".

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 22:21:18 2016 No.8318078 >>8314310 he writes worse than 90% of posters in critique threads. What the fuck is this?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 22:26:18 2016 No.8318094 >>8318078 That passage in particular, I'm fairly certain is a parody.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:39:11 2016 No.8318345 File: 50 KB, 850x400, quote-why-are-breakfast-foods-breakfast-foods-john-green-60-48-17.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:39:34 2016 No.8318347 >>8312991 I shed tears.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:46:14 2016 No.8318369
File: 467 KB, 432x653, 1457318316400.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>mfw Dan Brown
>mfw Christopher Paolini
>mfw John Green
You know what? I should write a book. If these clowns can 'make it' as writers than I should have a chance. Ah, who am I kidding. I guess I'd be happy with a handful of people reading what I write, though.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:48:15 2016 No.8318373 >>8318078 lmao thank you for complementing my writing

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:51:10 2016 No.8318376 File: 145 KB, 393x391, 1466400716042.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8314482

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:52:14 2016 No.8318381

>>8313256
My banal conversations were much better than this. I remember hearing about that anti rape condom and saying Jesus, why don't women just train trap door spiders to live in their vaginas? Bad dick comes in and BOOM lethal venom injected right in his fucking dick, his dick bloats up into a horrifically swollen and bruised mess and will probably never be able to achieve erection again, guy is possibly killed by the fast circulation of the venom through his system. All the girl has to do is throw it a bug once in awhile (spiders don't need to eat that much) and put it in a cup next to the bedside before having sex, and thoroughly douche. Plus the symbolism of it all could make marketing it very easy, it's a girls protect girls kind of thing since naturally one would use a female trap door spider due to its larger size and increased ferocity.

My friend retorted by saying that a rapist could just train a digger wasp to rest in his underwear and release it prior to rape. The wasp would attack the spider, injecting it with paralytic venom and laying its young inside of it, after which it could be safely removed and the rape could commence unhindered.

My concluding statement was that the vagina is an enclosed space and as such it follows that one of these combatants might miss their target, injecting venom into the vaginal wall causing severe swelling rendering the passage unnavigable to all but the smallest penises and as such limiting the utility that the rapist could derive from the act of rape to that which could be extracted from her mouth, anus or eyesockets. Unfortunately this exposed a flaw in my argument that my friend reducto ad absurdum'd on me, that it would be impractical to train spiders to guard each of one's holes and that rapists would likely learn to avoid holes that are commonly trapped, and that it was doubtful that one could train a spider to rest quietly in one's mouth due to the constant movement of warm air and teeth surrounding it causing its primal instinct to avoid being eaten to kick in.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:54:11 2016 No.8318388 >>8318381 Someone should write this in the style of John Green

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 23:56:03 2016 No.8318392 >>8313101 genius

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:02:42 2016 No.8318408 File: 243 KB, 1328x642, JohnGreenLit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8312991

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:04:59 2016 No.8318412 >>8318408 holy shit time repeated itself

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:07:09 2016 No.8318421 >>8312991 I've read this passage time and time again. Honestly, it's genius the way that he develops Hazel's character. The way that she feels scrambled eggs are excluded from a sandwich is a metaphore for herself feeling excluded.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:20:02 2016 No.8318462

I have never posted on r/books as I have no authority to critique books or slug it out with all of you well versed book worms. As an EXTREMELY casual reader, let me explain my perspective.
I read Looking for Alaska about 4 years ago. It was actually the start of my interest in reading novels again after I had graduated High School and celebrated that I no longer had to read books for English class. LFA resonated with me. Particularly it was astoundingly easy to relate to. It feeds an easy reading story of a character that is profoundly LIKE ME. Maybe not exactly like me, but similar to how I picture myself and my place in the world.
As it was a kind of launching point for me it lead me to learn the importance of immersing myself into a book. By seeing myself in the role of the main character it really felt like my story. Sure it follows the same blueprint: Too smart for his own good, unobtainable love interest etc. His novels are heinously popular not only because he has 'Internet Fame', but because many of his readers come from a similar background to his. The characters and stories are what we want to think of our own story to be.
This thread disappointed me a bit. Not that everyone should love John Green, but because everyone hopped on the hate wagon and lit their torches. This is the kind of book that gets young people like myself (4 years ago) interested in reading. It's not about complex, perfectly reasonable and realistic story lines. It is however about showing the reader there are reasons beyond passing classes to read a book, you might even find you learn something about yourself along the way.
Edit: This post got a bit more response than I expected so let me respond here:
The comments in this thread have changed significantly since I first saw it. There were numerous people posting early on with very little reasoning just to 'hate' on John Green. That was disappointing to me. As it seems now those posts have been pushed downward and much more well reasoned posts have been brought up, which is of course, good :)
Another thing to point out, I realize this book is not for everyone. That's what I mean when I say "his readers come from a similar background". People that like his book are probably normal, everyday, geeky people. The same people like to think they resemble his characters: extremely charming, lovestruck, witty and bound for 'happy ever after' blah blah blah. That's why it is accessible, some people like to cheer for who they wish they were, not who they really are. No not everyone feels this way or sees themselves in his characters.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:20:14 2016 No.8318464 >>8313101 wtf I love cuckatino now

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:23:23 2016 No.8318473 >>8318421 >sides

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 00:27:02 2016 No.8318483 >>8313250 >Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my Johnson

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:08:58 2016 No.8318578 >>8313274 He's literally just trying to rationalize his own marriage to himself. Apparently he married a woman who largely rejected his advances in college and then came crawling to him upon his writing career picking up.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:10:06 2016 No.8318580 >>8315455 >>t. professional Romanian I laughed

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:42:48 2016 No.8318644

>Although his novels have earned mostly positive critical reception, Green has discussed what he believes to be flaws in his novels, when he looked at them in retrospect.[36] Additionally, in response to a fan's tweet, Green apologized for using the word retarded in Paper Towns, stating, "Yeah, I regret it. At the time, I thought an author's responsibility was to reflect language as I found it, but now ... eight years later, I don't feel like a book about humanizing the other benefited from dehumanizing language," adding, "it's not in the movie, and I won't use the word again in a book or elsewhere."

I hate to use the word but he is literally a cuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:46:00 2016 No.8318653 >>8318644 When in the history of literature has an author apologized for using a descriptive word and promised to a literally-who to never use it again? He is the king cuck of literature.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:46:32 2016 No.8318656 File: 22 KB, 588x207, hank cuck1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8318644 Blocked :^)

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:50:02 2016 No.8318661 >>8318644 Of all the self-criticisms he could make, this is all he could come up with? He used a word that a lot of young people use in a novel about young people? What a memelord

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:51:15 2016 No.8318666
File: 364 KB, 585x423, john-reading-catcher.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8318644
>"My concern is that popular work by women receives far more vitriolic criticism from the public (like, in terms of number of demeaning jokes...) than popular work created by men... Also, I would like to see equal attention given to the sexism in popular work by men, from Nicholas Sparks to for instance J. D. Salinger. Catcher in the Rye—although I like it very much—is profoundly and disturbingly misogynistic and yet seems to get a critical pass both online and off. This happens a lot, I think, with books by men, and I don't want male writers (including me!) to get that pass."

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:53:13 2016 No.8318670 >>8318656 John's brother is really touchy about being called a cuck.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 01:54:46 2016 No.8318675 >>8318666 >Complaining that OMGHOWEDGY-Thebook is controversial He needs to kill himself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 02:05:30 2016 No.8318700 >>8318666 bro the trips

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 02:07:44 2016 No.8318703 >>8318666 How is Catcher even misogynistic? No one had ever explained this to me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 02:14:39 2016 No.8318719 >>8318703 It's not. End of case.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 02:17:00 2016 No.8318727 >>8313242 I like the way this was written. It's surreal in a good way

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 03:28:24 2016 No.8318831 >>8318653 >needing historical precedence to okay an action You are truly spooked.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 06:41:34 2016 No.8319208 >>8318703 >rapes his sister >not misogynistic

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 12:02:05 2016 No.8319804 >>8318462 >Casual >r/books Is this bait?

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 12:23:14 2016 No.8319873

Someone posted the DeLillo version right after I'd finished White Noise and I actually believed it was in the fucking book. It wasn't just for a second either, I had to linger in the thread for several moments to find clues whether or not it was true.

I haven't been able to completely redeem my faith in him. It seemed so very real for a brief moment.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 12:31:03 2016 No.8319893 >>8318578 Sounds like something Sacer-Masoch would write.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 13:38:10 2016 No.8320095 File: 1.08 MB, 1000x1504, John can't wake up.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8318369 Of course you could make it, but is it worth it?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 13:44:32 2016 No.8320107 >>8312991 This is good writing. Deny it all you want, but it is. Most people don't think this deeply about anything.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:29:24 2016 No.8320667 >>8320107 If you've ever had eggs or pancakes for dinner, you've thought about it. Difference is, you weren't boring enough to seriously complain about it to people, or write it down in a book.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:32:25 2016 No.8320675 >>8320107 Green here, thanks man.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:36:08 2016 No.8320689 >>8320107 If you've ever had eggs or pancakes for dinner, you've thought about it. Difference is, you weren't boring enough to seriously complain about it to people, or write it down in a book.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:50:34 2016 No.8320754 File: 64 KB, 900x716, fat mickey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313762

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:54:52 2016 No.8320766 >>8314674 >At that moment I realised we were all just living in Paper Towns.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 16:56:00 2016 No.8320770 >>8314498 We had to be told in university specifically that wikipedia articles are not a source that be cited.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:06:40 2016 No.8320817 >>8319208 wtf i hate holden now

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:10:14 2016 No.8320826 >>8320770 We had an otherwise good lecturer imply wikipedia was alright and he left his post before the end of the year suddenly. He got a promotion (just below full professor) but at a much worse university.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:10:45 2016 No.8320828 >>8320766 >And Tiny suddenly thought, "Hold on a minute... Will Grayson, Will Grayson."

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:15:47 2016 No.8320857 >>8319208 i like you

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:18:06 2016 No.8320868 >>8320826 I was shocked that we had to be told this, obviously it's okay to get your info from wikipedia but for the love of god citing the references in the article should be common sense

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:27:07 2016 No.8320909 >>8313621 文言文也。文言文而簡字者、不合也。此外、何怨國字而不提飯字?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:51:18 2016 No.8320972 >>8313175 ...James Joyce?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:55:22 2016 No.8320981 >>8320972 He did write barely-intelligibly, but I don't think he went as far as mixing in Classical Chinese, plus I don't think most publishing houses at the time would have even been able to print Chinese characters.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:55:23 2016 No.8320982 >>8320909 You better fucking NOT EVEN bro. Seriously stop.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:56:44 2016 No.8320988 >>8320909 Wanna be my classical chinese study budd?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 17:58:46 2016 No.8320999 >>8320988 可也。 Incidentally, I've been fooling around with the idea of a system similar to Japanese 漢文訓読, but for English, i.e. glossing Classical Chinese into English according to a set of fixed rules.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 18:00:25 2016 No.8321006 >>8320999 Just for funsies? That's a weirdly interesting thing to want to do.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 18:00:57 2016 No.8321009 >>8320982 Not even what?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 18:04:41 2016 No.8321022 >>8321006 I guess part of it was a sense that by having a formulaic system of conversion, for a Japanese speaker Classical Chinese texts are essentially already in their language, and I thought, we need to have that too!

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:11:46 2016 No.8321272 >>8321022 How is that feasible... or cool

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:13:42 2016 No.8321279 >>8321022 I think that might actually be kind of interesting.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:21:20 2016 No.8321304

ALL HAIL JOHN GREEN

POPE OF THE BANAL PLATITUDE

FUHRER OF FALSE AUTHENTICITY

HARBINGER OF THE MILLENNIAL TWEEN GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER END

"YEA, I SAY UNTO YOU THAT EVEN A 37 YEAR OLD MAN CAN BE A 17 YEAR OLD BOY, IF HE BUT RETARDS HIS MIND AND SPIRIT BY READING MY GOOD WORKS"
TWITTER 2:13

"GO FORTH, AND FEEL INDIVIDUATED EVEN WHEN YOU AREN'T; I SAY, GO FORTH, AND FEEL LIKE A TORTURED GENIUS WHEN YOU ARE BUT A TEENAGE GIRL"
EPISTLES TO REDDIT 12:21

"AND TO BE HOLY: IS IT NOT TO BE QUIRKY? AND TO BE QUIRKY: IS IT NOT TO BE EMPTILY EXCITABLE, JOKELESSLY SARDONIC?"
THE GOSPEL OF ALASKA 142:3

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:21:37 2016 No.8321305 >>8321022 I'm a linguist and can help but what would that even entail, just a very strict translation methodology?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:25:02 2016 No.8321316 >>8321304 I think it's time for you to take a break from here, Anon.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:37:43 2016 No.8321344

>>8321272
>>8321279
>>8321305
Check out this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanbun
That's how they do it for Japanese; see especially the sections 'conventions and terminology' and 'examples'. There's also a book about how to do it for Japanese here:
http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/p/pod/dod-idx/introduction-to-kambun-sydney-crawcour.pdf

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 19:41:05 2016 No.8321350 [DELETED]

File: 409 KB, 626x683, seinfeld.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8313101
>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"George, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Jerry answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, George," Elaine said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," Jerry added, and Elaine laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 21:38:06 2016 No.8321678
File: 46 KB, 335x352, fgsfds.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8321344
So you want to implement this for classical Chinese into English? The issue you're ignoring is that Chinese and English are as polar as you can get linguistically, Japanese arose from Chinese so it makes sense that there are techniques and methodologies for translating them between each other and those conventions wouldn't make sense for Chinese to English. I know you want to make rules that make sense but that's been something people have tried to do for ages; that's why translation is considered an art.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 21:50:46 2016 No.8321732

>>8321678
Japanese didn't arise from Chinese, though. Modern Japanese has a lot of words and idioms borrowed from Chinese, yes, but its core vocabulary and grammar are clearly descended from Old Japanese, which was about as different from Chinese as a language can be.

Anonymous Mon Jul 25 23:59:37 2016 No.8322146

>>8321678
>The issue you're ignoring is that Chinese and English are as polar as you can get linguistically,
not really, no. the syntaxes are actually pretty similar in a lot of cases, although classical chinese is definitely a lot vaguer.

>Japanese arose from Chinese
what? only the writing system, and some vocabulary did. the languages are in entirely different families.

Anonymous Tue Jul 26 04:42:43 2016 No.8322666

>>8322146
>>8321732

I think he's referring more to Japanese culture and civilisation in general. Their cities, dress codes and such were largely imported from China and in that the Tang Dynasty. Search it up for yourself and there are undeniable similarities in Tang dynasty traditional dresses and 'Japanese' ones. All the Japanese cities civic planning was based on ancient Chinese ones as well

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 04:51:00 2016 No.8322677 >>8313175 Ezra impersonation had all the parts but lacks his feel. Good attempt

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:22:01 2016 No.8322726 >>8318644 The other is the most bullshit fake philosophy "wow some people are different from us!!!" When someone uses the term you know not to take them seriously

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:31:43 2016 No.8322743 >>8313043 >implying John couldn't beat you up On his blog channel he talks about how he skipped class to smoke cigarettes. Also all of the sex scenes in his books are autobiographical accounts of interactions with his legion of fangirls.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:36:28 2016 No.8322746 >>8313274 There is literally nothing wrong with degeneracy. The Greeks said "a country is strong so long as old men plant trees whose shade they will never sit in". But I'm not a country, or a race, or anything else you could degenerate.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:37:35 2016 No.8322749 >>8318578 This gives me hope that my oneitis will notice me if I create a good novel.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:41:35 2016 No.8322756 >>8315518 >,and the priest spat 10/10

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:43:06 2016 No.8322761 >>8312991 hey i love white noise

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:46:50 2016 No.8322768 File: 97 KB, 500x700, 7bfe1a28-faf6-4e98-80a7-336605077d9d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313242

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 05:52:29 2016 No.8322780 >>8313154 >But the moment your sandwich has an eggs >an eggs literally what?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 07:18:36 2016 No.8322954 >>8322749 >This gives me hope that my oneitis will notice me once I have money

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:06:35 2016 No.8323517 File: 982 KB, 1920x1080, Fate%20stay%20night%20-%2015[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8313242 >has a girl help another girl give him a bj Alpha af desu

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:14:35 2016 No.8323536 >>8318369 If this stuff passes, I might just write my shitty YA idea that originated as my pitch in a /co/ fetish thread. The fetish is hypno.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:23:15 2016 No.8323562 >>8315518 Wuh.... Cormac? what are you doing here? shouldnt you be finishing your next book?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:29:58 2016 No.8323584 >>8323517 Irl it would be alpha af. But it's pure fantasy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:44:03 2016 No.8323631 >>8312991 It's pretty good writing actually, definitely better than majority of the stuff I saw in critique threads. Green wrote so much shit and you had to pick the decent parts to prove a point?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:45:04 2016 No.8323637 >>8314310 >>8314482 Now this is shit-tier.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 10:52:44 2016 No.8323664 File: 34 KB, 575x779, singdontcry.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >2016 >eating eggs

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 11:13:16 2016 No.8323744 >>8313012 this desu

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 11:20:45 2016 No.8323768 >>8318483 >not fat mickey disappointed

Anonymous Tue Jul 26 11:42:28 2016 No.8323846

See that fellow in Barnaby's eating a breakfast platter at. What time? Yes three bong just now so perhaps a quarter past. Funny we don't do that more often. Full Irish breakfast bad for kidneys they say; too much protein. But good for soul. O, O, O, the boys of Kilkenny, O. Suppose he smells like a full Irish all day. But after all why not? He crossed O'Connell, skipping at cracked intervals. Skip. Break your mother's. Don't do that now people are watching, bloody fool. Last one's a rotten egg. But on the egg subject, why not eat them at lunch? Dinner, even? Cheap and nutritious, hens packed together tight as matches pumping them out day in day out. Give them to poor, start an initiative. Which came first, the British or poverty? Haha

In an alley a ragged boy was making chalk designs, boy and chalk standing out against the dark in a uniform pallor. Egg plan could help him, for example. Give him a coin? No, do him no good. Just be respectful. Now there's a cracked egg. Doomed before he was born. Predestination, into the streets or into the frying pan. Out of the frying pan, into. But what am I saying sympathizing with eggs?

He sighed heavily.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 11:49:33 2016 No.8323879 >>8323846 Don't give the writer's (You) to this man. Give him only the copypaster's (You), much more modest but almost as commendable.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 12:05:06 2016 No.8323934 >>8315518 >the moment your sandwich has an beans dead

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 13:37:21 2016 No.8324186 File: 841 KB, 500x282, a metaphor.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8322743 >On his blog channel he talks about how he skipped class to smoke cigarettes.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 13:51:15 2016 No.8324244 >>8314060 Cuz it is

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 13:56:45 2016 No.8324267 File: 33 KB, 681x496, 1410026997814.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8314310 >ugh

Anonymous Tue Jul 26 14:03:34 2016 No.8324292

>>8313103
But the readers take his characters seriously because any kind of critique or insight on their behavior is so shallow that it's not even picked up by them, and he doesn't give two shits otherwise because it's the same pay, possibly more, if he makes what he writes easy to swallow by a large portion of the population as opposed to caring enough to make it good (good in terms of both stylistically and in terms of insight regarding the issues presented in the book and how they translate into reality).

Anonymous Tue Jul 26 16:38:49 2016 No.8324726

>>8320981
Finnegan's Wake includes an insane amount of non English languages though. 12 maybe? Probably more. I don't know but I know it was in the introduction, the only part of the book I read before my teacher said to wait 7 or so years before trying to read it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 16:56:14 2016 No.8324764 >>8313060 Go to /sci and let them tell you you're a homosexual engineer

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 17:34:18 2016 No.8324882 >>8321304 nice

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 17:37:23 2016 No.8324894 >>8324186 this gif makes me irrationally angry

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 19:51:21 2016 No.8325411 >>8322677 I've never read pound desu, I was more imitating what little bits I've read of Finnegans Wake and Ulysses, with some classical chink in there for memery.

Anonymous Tue Jul 26 19:56:41 2016 No.8325436
File: 81 KB, 1178x960, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8314390
It's a young adults thing.
Any character in a modern setting without information control has no excuse for just researching their society-shaking questions and queries before posing them to everyone else.

My brother used to do this and I would just send him Wikipedia pages and such explaining his questions and he'd get deflated. He didn't really want an answer, he just wanted to come off as smart

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 19:58:51 2016 No.8325443 >>8315476 Rally mats you donk

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 20:44:30 2016 No.8325567 >>8325436 At least Seinfeld has some serious issues to discuss

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 21:07:53 2016 No.8325618 >>8313242 Da fuck, my little sister read this after all the memes...i didn;t know shit like this was in it. Do you know how many very young girls have read this?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 21:10:14 2016 No.8325621 File: 354 KB, 484x600, smug john.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8325618 Very young girls are the target audience. This book is even being taught in high school literature courses. It's really disturbing.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 21:12:31 2016 No.8325627 >>8314055 Egg is pretty common in steak sandsiches and burgers in Australia. Any fish and chip shop in regional victoria, a burger with the lot will have egg , lettuce, tomato, probably beetroot and cheese. It's dank as fuck

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 21:12:53 2016 No.8325628 >>8325621 He is a creepy faggot, writes sexualised books for young girls, thats worse than the fact he is a complete meme who cant write...fuck i want to take a snooker-ball-in-a-sock to this cunts face

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 22:10:49 2016 No.8325768 >>8325628 It really is genuinely upsetting the amount of influence he has on young girls.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 22:21:43 2016 No.8325801 >>8313242 haha holy shit this isn't even one of those DFW trolls. this is really in the book.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 26 22:53:11 2016 No.8325886 >>8313250 because, like all young adults, they want to give and receive really really badly

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 00:29:00 2016 No.8326147 >>8313242 I got stiff when I read this in the book awkward teen head was sure something.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 01:49:11 2016 No.8326348 >>8313274 yeah like that is a problem this pretentious faggot has ever had to deal with

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:03:33 2016 No.8326378 >>8313261 >>8313274 >>8313242 >>8312991 well excuse my /pol/ but, KEK!!! FAGGOT!!! COAL BURNING KEK FAG SHIT NIGGAS!!! BITCH ASS NIGGAS!!!

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:14:48 2016 No.8326393

>>8318462
>I read Looking for Alaska about 4 years ago. It was actually the start of my interest in reading novels again after I had graduated High School and celebrated that I no longer had to read books for English class. LFA resonated with me. Particularly it was astoundingly easy to relate to.
>bo burnham's song about radio love songs.flac

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:16:45 2016 No.8326394 >>8326378 Oh my, you have such a way with words. Are you single? ;3

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:20:58 2016 No.8326402 >>8326394 that depends, are you a man? :[

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:22:37 2016 No.8326406 >>8326402 Uh, sorta.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:25:38 2016 No.8326408 File: 27 KB, 600x450, barf3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326406

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:26:17 2016 No.8326411 >>8326408 Wow, #rude

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:27:26 2016 No.8326413 File: 19 KB, 390x470, 4f181d8caa1b7f6bed96c42383de41294810dd88.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326411 >your feelings

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:28:54 2016 No.8326416 File: 485 KB, 500x278, 1316770413940.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326406 leme see dem titty n balls gurl.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:28:57 2016 No.8326417 >>8326413 P-Please stop, Anon-chan, you're upsetting me! :S

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:29:46 2016 No.8326419 >>8319208 jd salinger used holden caulfield to describe and reject date rape. misogyny is just a buzzword because of how he regards prostitutes

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:29:47 2016 No.8326420 >>8326394 >>8326402 >>8326406 >>8326408 >>8326411 >>8326413 >>8326417 lmao stop samefagging

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:30:46 2016 No.8326423 >>8326416 I'm not back on estrogen yet or I would definitely post my tits and balls on a blue board on 4chan, you can bet your ass on that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:31:48 2016 No.8326426 File: 19 KB, 320x184, w.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326420 This image proves nothing, but I'm really not.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:33:22 2016 No.8326429 File: 123 KB, 500x387, 25106-Batman-nope-cant-find-a-single-jpsC.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326417

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:34:15 2016 No.8326432 File: 164 KB, 600x646, 1262281446661.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8318578 >>8322749 I've been considering this scenario a lot lately, though I think I would turn her down I might not be able to resist a cheap one wit dem udders.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:34:48 2016 No.8326434 >>8326429 I'll give you a fuck, bby

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:39:42 2016 No.8326436 File: 61 KB, 475x551, barf4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326434

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:41:05 2016 No.8326439 >>8326436 Do you have a thing for people throwing up, m8? I could do that for you, you know. ;^)

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:41:19 2016 No.8326440
File: 38 KB, 646x480, 1244317821103.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8321732
>>8322146
>>8322666
My preliminary research on the topic told me that usage of kanji and alteration of pronunciations show that japanese was a language that derived from chinese which would indicate strong similarities and a logical interconnectedness similar to that of English and its predecessors and their derivatives. But I'm just passively looking into linguistics so I don't really know.

>>8326423
is there significance in downtime? And I would never bet my ass, I'm too alpha for my ass to be bet.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:42:01 2016 No.8326441 >>8326434 such immense negging skill

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:48:15 2016 No.8326452

>>8326440
>is there significance in downtime?
I was only on a very small dosage of E and spiro for a few months, so I've lost the extremely small tits I had.
> And I would never bet my ass, I'm too alpha for my ass to be bet.
That's a shame.
>>8326441
Whatever do you mean?

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 02:58:39 2016 No.8326462

>>8326440
>My preliminary research on the topic told me that usage of kanji and alteration of pronunciations show that japanese was a language that derived from chinese which would indicate strong similarities and a logical interconnectedness similar to that of English and its predecessors and their derivatives.
etymology =/= being related.

english has a bunch of words from french and latin, but it's ultimately unrelated to them.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 03:07:09 2016 No.8326479 File: 46 KB, 360x588, 1358023668271.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8326452 why is that a shame? Get back on it then do cam shows to continue the supply, I'll be your manager. I'll manage dat ass

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 03:12:31 2016 No.8326491

>>8326479
>why is that a shame?
'Cause you don't like it in the ass. At least that's what seemed implied.
>Get back on it then do cam shows
Whoa, whoa, whoa, do I sound like a fucking degenerate to you?
Even if I wanted to do that there's so many attractive trans cam girls that nobody would pay to see my unattractive ass.
Being disgustingly ugly sucks.

Anonymous Wed Jul 27 03:19:56 2016 No.8326503
File: 356 KB, 998x666, anton LaVey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8326491
just wear a mask and giggle. do hands free shit and post on soc or gif and you'll generate a fan base willing to shill. Then when you're famous you can return the favor with your very soul.

I really want to post the pic of a dude keeping a small turtle inside his foreskin over top of a wordsworth classic that was posted on /v/ but I can't

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 03:23:00 2016 No.8326509 >>8326503 lel Maybe one day, Anon, maybe one of these days.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 04:07:59 2016 No.8326583 >>8313242 I never had sex or sucked a dick, and now I think I'm asexual. Thanks John!

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 04:30:15 2016 No.8326616 >This thread is four days old.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 27 04:31:29 2016 No.8326620 >>8326616 /lit/ hates John Green more than it loves David Foster Wallace.

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