Greentext the plot of your new novel

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Greentext the plot of your new novel Anonymous Tue Jul 19 22:53:16 2016 No.8299582 [Reply] [Original]

It's not like it's going anywhere anyway

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 22:55:58 2016 No.8299587 >plot

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 22:57:02 2016 No.8299591 >>8299587 sorry babe

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 22:59:18 2016 No.8299598 >plot

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 23:06:28 2016 No.8299622 >plot

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 23:09:55 2016 No.8299633 >>8299622 nice dubs also >plot

Anonymous Tue Jul 19 23:13:32 2016 No.8299642

>>8299582
>boy meets girl
>girls loathe boy
>boy cries
>boy decides to be a writer
>write a book about a boy, plot as follow:
> >boy meets girl
> >girls loathe boy
> >boy cries
> >boy decides to be a writer
> >boy fails
> >boy kills himself

> >girls loathe boy
> >boy cries
>boy kill himself

>>	Anonymous Tue Jul 19 23:26:03 2016 No.8299681 >>8299582 >two crooked cops drive their VW bug patrol around mid 80s provincial Mexican city, snorting coke and perpetrating a variety of petty and not so petty abuses of power.

Anonymous Tue Jul 19 23:44:21 2016 No.8299727

> crossdressing pyromaniac overhears a conversation in a bar
> someone is going to burn down a building to make insurance fraud
> protagonist decides to burn it first but it's obvious it was man-made
> protagonist gets in trouble for this

I'm writing for fun, so please be gentle with your criticism.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 01:05:20 2016 No.8299937 File: 103 KB, 235x215, alvin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >rise >fall >rise

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 01:15:49 2016 No.8299968

>man with bestiality fetish makes a wish in a fountain and is transformed into a dog
>detailed descriptions of his journey through suburban neighborhoods sniffing dogs' asses and fucking bitches in heat
>eventually catches a new virus similar to HIV but only existing in dogs called DIV during an all male foursome in a dumpster
>contemplates his decision to become a dog while dying of the virus and being shamed by all of his ex-lovers as a doggyslut
>on his deathbed alone and surmises that it was all worth it to fulfill his dream
>upon dying meets God and is told that he will be reincarnated as a dog to repeat his past existence forever, and that he has been living the same existence as a dog for an infinite amount of time
>comes back to by the smell of a dog's ass with none of his memories intact

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 03:04:50 2016 No.8300193 >>8299582 >protag collect underpants >??? >profit

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 04:27:52 2016 No.8300312 >>8299642 >boy likes girl >girl hates boy >boy weeps >boy becomes author >boy writes book with following plot: >>boy likes girl >>girl hates boy >>boy weeps >>boy becomes author >>boy writes book with following plot: >>>ad infinitum

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 04:36:06 2016 No.8300331

There are 3 i've been sort of writing on/off over the years.

First:
>Guy drops out of highschool
>Tries to hide his smoking from his parents
>Goes on a road trip with his old high school friends to go clean up beaches

Second:
>Boy's parents go on an overseas holiday
>Decides to escape suburban drudgery and go explore the city each day
>Meets a girl at the train station
>They navigate this strange place
>The layout of the city changes everyday
>The pair are stalked by a man in grey overalls
>After an argument, the girl storms off
>The boy can't find her
>He teams up with a homeless skeleton to save her from the man in overalls

Third:
>Depressed, awkward university dropout becomes NEET
>Life begins to spiral out of control
>Plans a school shooting
>Someone else came to shoot up the university on the same day
>He shoots that guy down, unwittingly becomes a hero
>Utilises his newfound fame to turn his life around, get laid, get a job etc.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 05:21:38 2016 No.8300399

>boy sleepwalks into career as child actor thanks to influence of pushy, bohemian parents
>lands lead role in the next big YA movie franchise
>his character is gay
>success turn him into reluctant gay icon and role model for gay kids everywhere
>struggles to grow up in public eye
>is put under pressure by parents, agents, publicists to maintain ambiguous public persona and stay closeted about his heterosexuality

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:03:33 2016 No.8300475

>>8300399
Bretty good premise, 2bh, famiglia. Almost kinda reminds me of Chuck Pahlaniuk (or however the hell you spell his last name).

Does it ever get more intense beyond just "my life sucks, I can't be who I want to be"? Like, does he go full Patrick Bateman or anything like that?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:06:24 2016 No.8300483 >>8300475 Yeah, I was thinking I could make him go off the deep end after he gets raped by Not Bryan Singer.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:17:40 2016 No.8300498

>>8300483
Don't want to tell you how to do things, and this premise has too much potential for me to steal, but have you ever thought about NOT making him go off the deep end?

Like, he just kinda-sorta accidentally/not-accidentally kills Bryan!Singer!, but since Bryan!Singer! is such a popular and beloved guy, everyone starts ripping the MC apart instead?

I don't know. Just a suggestion, I guess.

>>8299582
Also, do writers really steal each others work? Beside the whole "I borrowed some elements from Stephen King and Shakespeare", do writers on /lit/ ACTUALLY stoop down low enough to read someone else's idea on 4chan and write it up and claim it as their own?

Seems pretty fucking dirty, even for an anon. I mean, shit. There're just some things that are taboo, and stealing another author's work and calling it your own is one of them.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:19:49 2016 No.8300504

>>8299582
>Boy beaten by abusive dad regularly
>Because his dad would often wake him up and then beat him the boy develops negative associations with dark and bed
>boy escapes this emotional trauma by playing at the neighbourhood park with girl x and going to her house with her nice parents for dinner sometimes
>Mum and dad divorce
>Boy sleeps in same bed with mum because sleeping by self in dark is too scary
>one day mum dies of sudden unexpected death syndrome (this is a thing, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_unexpected_death_syndrome))
>boy wakes up when its bright and sunlights flowing through windows, tugs mum
>mum's a corpse
>girl x's parents adopt boy
>teenagers, girl x is under edgy phase and boy is meekly horny and crushes on her
>boy tries to talk to girl x about deep subjects in hopes she would feel something for him, he has to be subtle in case she doesnt reciprocate because itd be awkward because adoptive sister
>trying to talk about deep shit makes him into thinking more
>girl x's uncle dies, girl x is edgy and knows about boy's fear of corpses, edgy enough to suggest for him to come to the funeral and asks him to ask his adoptive parents and her parents for permission because its 'his family nao'
>at first it makes him drop his stomach but later boy always goes to girl x's relatives and parents' friends funerals, still can't overcome fear of corpses but is getting gradually better
>high school finishes, girl x goes overseas to study
>boy is obsessed with girl x and her sermons about overcoming fears, goes into medical school and becomes a mortician
>since boy is in a small town he is the town's morticians only apprentice, the towns mortician is an old guy, befriends boy and they're close and talk about deep shit and grow closer
>mortician dies, boy finally overcomes his phobia
>girl comes back to town with new boyfriend
>boy tells girl her boyfriend is psychopathic and dangerous
>she doesn't believe it
>she gets abused mentally very hard by the boyfriend and becomes a living husk
>boy feels shes losing her charm and his love for her perverts into something ambivalent but the lust is still there
>girl kills herself, boyfriend flees
>boy fucks girls corpse in the morgue while undergoing lots of emotions

t b h this is more of a fap story then a novella idea but whatever

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:28:55 2016 No.8300522

>>8300504
Could be developed into a kind of "Blood Meridian", if you will.

I don't think it's ENTIRELY devoid of merit, and it's better than being just a cheap old fap story. It doesn't deserve that, anon.

Maybe make it so that the girl is full of life when she's a teen, and the boy is an emotionless husk; whereas when they become adults, the boy becomes much more eccentric and alive, and the girl becomes just as much of a husk as he was from the abuse when he was a teen boy.

When she dies, he reverts back to being that emotionless, cold husk, and when he sees her body sent to him in the morgue, THAT'S when he breaks down and makes love to her in death sobbing at her feet, kissing her blue, frozen lips.

THAT'S when he finally proclaims his love for her, and THAT'S when she's finally still enough for her to hear him. Because even when people die, sometimes their hearts beat twice as strong.

Necrophilia is kind of beautiful and romantic, in a morbid, offensive kind of way. Try to play up the romanticism of it. If you're trying to hit the fap bait material, might as well strive for high-end literature in one stroke as well.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:30:22 2016 No.8300523 >>8300522 Pretty good ideas man, going to consider and incorporate them, thanks

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:36:41 2016 No.8300537 >>8300331 Two and three are books I would read.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 06:45:08 2016 No.8300552

>>8300504

I agree with the previous commentor on your post.

Also, don't write pornographically when he has sex with the corpse. Dig into a deeper yet subtle psychologically/existential dilemma for the character. The audience must be shocked and disgusted, but they must be understanding towards the character. Something like "It's not rite, but it's also not right to punish".

It is a taboo subject and a shocking twist. If you can hide the ending until the end, the you have got something here.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:19:05 2016 No.8300600 >>8300498 I steal people's idea's out of these threads, but I use them for warm up exercises to write 3-5 page stories to get myself in the mood to write my novel about how autofelatio solves the world's problems

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:31:53 2016 No.8300625 File: 13 KB, 632x398, disapprove.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8300522 >Necrophilia is kind of beautiful and romantic

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:37:04 2016 No.8300632

>Father involved in car crash.
>Two young twin daughters are stuck in their seats in the back of the car.
>As the car is sinking into the river he realises it is impossible to save both and must choose which one will live and which one will die.
>As he dives underwater the book changes to a few years before the accident where the book becomes a roughly 600 page philosophical slog-fest.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:42:05 2016 No.8300639 >>8300632 W-what happens to his daughters? >Tfw clutching my children to my chest right now very tightly

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:45:07 2016 No.8300642

>Story begins with main character reminiscing his childhood 'good old days' with his best friend.
>Character building + lead up to present day.
>Main character is planning to propose to his LT girlfriend in a few days and is planning it out with his friend.
>Turns out the best friend has been planning to ruin the main character's life and proposal this entire time over a seemingly insignificant memory that was mentioned early in the book.
>Main character commits suicide.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 07:48:22 2016 No.8300647

>800 page adventure novel with themes of existentialism, relationships, philosophy etc.
>Last chapter the main character dies.
>He actually doesn't die, he wakes up in a hospital bed. The entire story was a dream he had after he suffered a serious concussion from a helmet-to-helmet tackle in football practice two weeks ago.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:04:11 2016 No.8300683 >>8300625 Mouth looks like a nintendo stylus desu

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:06:34 2016 No.8300686 >>8300632 Having them be (identical?) twin girls lessens the drama if you ask me. You should make the kids as different as possible so he can't convince himself that the choice is random.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:06:36 2016 No.8300687 >struggling writer reflects on deteriorating health and work ethos >overcomes writers' block by writing himself into his novel >there's also some tragic romance >and a subplot about hicks fucking cows for the absurdity

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:10:44 2016 No.8300693
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>>8300600
I wonder how much of a plagiarist/douchebag I would be if I steal the idea of a necrophile working at a morgue as in >>8300504 but other than that pretty much all of the other details, characters and plot points change.

Is this fair to so "inspired by" but not "stolen"?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:20:57 2016 No.8300707 >>8299937 Kek

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:21:57 2016 No.8300710

>>8300693
There are LOTS of stories about necrophiliacs, and I'm sure there are LOTS of stories about necrophiliacs working in morgues, but I don't think there are very many stories about a man who works in a morgue who finally finds his deceased lover waiting for him on a hospital gurney, who is so overcome with emotion that the only way he can express his literally undying love is to make sorrowful, passionate love to her cold, preserved corpse.

...So, no. I don't think your story would be plagiarism. It could very certainly be "inspired by" said anon's story, but it definitely would not be "based on" it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:24:48 2016 No.8300712 >>8300687 Just don't mess up the ending this time, Stephen King.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:30:55 2016 No.8300721 >>8300331 You posted about 3 ages ago, hows it going?

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:37:56 2016 No.8300728

>Man learns that his wife is having an affair
>In the ensuing fallout, she asks for a divorce and for custody over their daughter
>He sinks into a deep depression, has nothing to live for
>About to kill himself by jumping off a cliff
>Persuaded not to jump by kindly old man
>Man reveals that he is a psychiatrist with a pioneering new technology to help people like him
>The technology is a virtual reality device which allows him to completely construct the world around him, creating whatever scenarios he likes, with whatever people he likes
>At first he uses it for only positive experiences - spending time with his daughter, travelling to exotic places, sleeping with supermodels, etc
>Feels happy again at first, but realises he is getting no real fulfillment
>Begins to spend more and more time using virtual reality, doing increasingly depraved things - until he brutally murders his wife again and again
>?????????????????????

I think I have a good premise, and also have a good ending in mind, I just don't know how to fill the middle sections and keep the plot moving in an interesting way.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:40:14 2016 No.8300731

>>8299582
>a pedophile is visited by a fairy who acts as his psychologist. As she keeps him under constant watch, the two learn more about each others circumstances that lead up to their behaviour and failings. The man struggles with guilt and anxiety over his own future, whilst the fairy struggles with the ethics of doctor patient confidentiality and the concept of irredeemability.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:41:46 2016 No.8300735 >>8299968 Fucking write this anon

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 08:46:45 2016 No.8300746 >>8299968 Also being unironic when I say I would probably read this and hail it as great literature. This actually sounds hella fucking good as a premise to a novel or a short story.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:06:25 2016 No.8300791

>>8299582
It's not a novel but a screenplay. I got the basic structure figured out, I need to write it now.
>A French muslim delinquent who grew up in a poor district becomes an islamist
>He's clearly a nihilist, he spends his time watching porn, smoking shitty weed and admiring beautiful girls he'll never get.
>Islamists contact him and convince him that he'll find salvation. Porn is slowly replaced by violent videos : beheadings, propaganda done by ISIS etc.
>He tries to build the image of a religious guy in front of his friends but he remains the same nihilist cunt in private.
>He only feels empathy when he's playing with children of his hood.
>His islamist friends plan an attack.
>He gets cold feet and escapes. He realizes that he was about to commit a horrible act.
>He's now wanted in the whole country.
>He tries to escape to Germany. A friend of his helps him.
>Tensions arise between him and his friend.
>Convinced that his friend is going to betray him, he steals his friend's money and runs away.
>His friend calls the police.
>He ends up being killed by the police as he tries to cross the German borders.

Thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:08:07 2016 No.8300795 >>8299727 This could be excellent but... Why did you make him a crossdresser? Is it really necessary?

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:12:03 2016 No.8300800

>>8300791
Not much of an arc, if I'm honest. The character doesn't strike me as interesting in any way. Just a typical loser persona bordering on edgy. Additionally, nobody gives a shit about sharing any emotion with some islamist character.

Also makes no sense that he is wanted by police and is only tracked down as he gets to the Border. Germany is a small country with one of the highest levels of surveillance in the world.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:22:02 2016 No.8300813 >>8300693 I mean if you really wanted to I couldn't really do anything to stop you but I'd really like to eventually tackle this origin plot

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:29:32 2016 No.8300826

>>8300800
Good points.
Writing his personality is a real challenge, I'd like to make him relateable and portray him as a loser who pursued a terrible fate because he wasn't able to fit into the modern world. Kinda like a character from a Houellebecq novel who happens to be an islamist instead of an upper middle class guy.

You should read about Salah Abdeslam, he easily managed to escape to Belgium and was arrested more than 20 days after the Paris attacks. Also, my character is supposed to day before arriving in Germany.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:31:46 2016 No.8300828

>>8299582
On another note how do you guys characterise psychopathic (as in, the inborn 'demon-like' type of psychopath, not the 'daddy whacked me with his belt when I was three' type of psychopath) characters without coming off as really cheesy or one dimensional? I felt like Corncob's Chigurh was the most lacking character in No Country for Old Men

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:43:52 2016 No.8300848

Mosins on Mars

>Americans and Russians join forces after the fall of the PC cultural marxism world wide, dead purple haired fat SJW's everywhere and right wing nazi groups getting shot by the police.
>Jews oying and veying without getting their money
>they all run to Israel and every nation on earth is now looking what to do next, everything is uncertain, WW3 must be diverted somehow fast
>Russo/American shaky partnership is gaining ground and support
>Chinese are the biggest rival after they took Africa and now a strange cold war is going on and nobody knows what will happen
>Things are calm but the sudden bridge connecting Alaska and Russia brings toward strange yet heartwarming relationship that excites the world
>no longer enemies, combined strength and thought bring upon creations, inventions and friendships that should have been there centuries ago
>American technological advances, combined with Russian simple solution tactics create the space race of colonizing anything and everything
>Chinese own the moon and charge everyone else to reside there and use the lunar launch sites
>Americans and Russians are first to colonize parts of Mars, with chinese not too far behind
>The tv series start with an american oxygen farmer/mechanic/applepie-patriot explaining the first shots fired on Mars, the first murders and the first battle.
>Russians have flooded Mars with old Soviet weapon stockpiles, the weapons and even the machines somehow (with primitive simple tuning) work on Mars
>american gets a mosin nagant thrown at him
>they are in some sort of a transport
>CHEEKI BREEKI
>they attack the african mercenaries from behind of their compound

I dont know, i have some ideas but i need a lot of help from /k/ and /pol/
I think id have a proper script for AMC to make a show out of it.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 09:46:06 2016 No.8300854

>>8300828
Just mundane acts of violence for the sake of violence. Usually done without any trace of remorse or guilt.

>Kid pulls tufts of hair from pet rabbit aunt gave him for his birthday.
>Girl is chronically replacing boyfriends with ex's and ex's with boyfriends. Revels in their pain.
>Man is asked if he feels guilty for killing wife for accidentally under cooking chicken. Says no, and tells interrogator matter-of-factly, "anyone else would have done the same exact thing", even though only a fucking psycho would agree with that statement.
>Edgy teen blackmails femanons and revels in their pain
>Edgy teen yanks out railroad spikes for fun on his off time, in the hopes that it will cause a massive train wreck and kill hundreds
>Gay trucker pulls over all manner of hitchhikers and vagabonds. Stops overnight at motel and enters hitchhiker's room, naked, lying in his guest's bed, hoping the hitchhiker will come in and "rape" him or otherwise take advantage of him while he "sleeps"
>EMT purposely works against the patient, trying to get the to die, turned on by the fact that he might get caught trying to sabotage his peer's medical efforts
>Guy only dates women that look a lot like his mother, but rejects them all for acting too much like her. When asked what the hell he wants in a woman, he admits he doesn't really quite know.
>Man owns lots of exotic and dangerous pets and plans on committing suicide one day by starving his animals for days and letting them free so they could take him and eat him alive.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:15:56 2016 No.8300914 >>8299681 Not bad, would read excerpt of.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:18:18 2016 No.8300920 >>8299681 Yeah this sounds Cormac McCarthy-tier and you should write it if you don't suck

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:21:10 2016 No.8300929 >>8299968 hot af

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:22:49 2016 No.8300930 >>8300331 Should have had him plan the shooting with someone else, with shooting the other man part of his master plan all along

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:26:23 2016 No.8300939

>>8300721
Thanks for asking. Between postgrad and work i haven't been able to write as much as I like. I spend maybe 5 or so hours per week. Most lit mags in my country have submission deadlines coming up so I've been focusing more on my poetry. Third story has about 10k words. Second has about 30 handwritten pages.

First has about 15k words and another 15-20 handwritten pages. In 2012/2013 I wrote maybe 100 pages for it but got frustrated. The main scenes were good but there wasn't enough happening to sequence them into a cohesive story. I have more ideas now, but I really wish I didn't sperg out and destroy those 100 pages.

Are you working on anything?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:26:29 2016 No.8300941 File: 1.97 MB, 318x239, 1427480612031.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Stealing all your ideas fuck you

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:31:32 2016 No.8300949

>>8300647
A second story arc with alternating chapters of dream and reality where the dream/como is what youd originally write and the other story arc is the life of the football player in the weeks leading up to the hit. Nobody will get the relationship until the last chapter

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:32:55 2016 No.8300951 >young ne'er-do-well gets a part time job at a retirement home >starts selling drugs to the old people, whos psychedlic drug fuelled recollections of their pasts intertwine with the main book

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:34:51 2016 No.8300956

>>8300710
Ew man, stop romanticizing it. We get it, you think 100 days of sodom is the best work of art ever created, and the idea is still good for banging the dead chick... but come on... he loves her SO bad he has to fuck her cold body? Nasty man... not romantic

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:37:55 2016 No.8300962 >>8300731 Wow such a big boy book with grown up themes

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 10:41:19 2016 No.8300972 >>8300647 That's cliché in the worst way possible

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:06:18 2016 No.8301358 File: 19 KB, 480x360, 463.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8300972

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:19:41 2016 No.8301405 >>8300728 Would probably work well for a short story

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:35:46 2016 No.8301443 > Infinite Jest II > set in YA dystopia > First 2 words: we are Cause controversy, anger Wallace estate, wear and bandanna, do Wallace impressions and pretend that's how I talk: generate sales.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:37:19 2016 No.8301449 >>8300728 That's a shit premise. VR is just like a license to do creative writing exorcises on the readers time.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:44:23 2016 No.8301477

> Boy gets letter to join wizard school
> decides he wants to go to regular school because he wants to make porn when he grows up
> Wizard guy tries to convince him, he says no I love porn
> 25 years later he sees wizard guy with smokin hawt daughter
> tries to say hi
> WG's like, well well, thought you were all about the porn
> Main guy's like, yeah but I am in love with your daughter now, I must cast her
> WG's like, tough luck, she does porn but only wizard porn
> Main guy's like, this is the time when you either sink or swim, tries to learn how to do wizard porn
> WG starts off hostile but warms to him, teaches him about wizard porn
> Hilarity ensues

Film's called " The Perfect Cast""

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:52:10 2016 No.8301496

>stream-of-consciousness short story
>old woman with dementia living at a nursing home
>her daughter and two grandchildren visit her
>during the same night she comes into a moment of clarity
>noticable slow transition from borderline gibberish into cohesive thoughts
>remembers defining moments of her life
>her marriage, her dead husband, the birth of her children
>she realizes that she fears nothing more than to return to her state of gibberish
Probably abrubtly ends once she understands what has happened, no point in continuing really

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 13:59:44 2016 No.8301516

>>8301496
She could do an an hero to stop re gibber but forget what she's doing halfway through.

BONUS ENDING

>She ends the story holding the same three items as she began with, and we realise she plans to kill herself often but always forgets what she's doing halfway through.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:09:20 2016 No.8301549

>>8301516
I thought about her attempting to kill herself by attempting to toss herself from her bed or something equally desperate. My grandmother was found on her floor with a broken hip having fallen in the middle of the night and I often wonder if she herself hadn't tried to end it the only way she could through a locked room

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:12:37 2016 No.8301565 >>8299582 >i'm from redshit and I'm going through a dry spell >greentext your plot so I can steal it and cater to the normie YA hoards Get the fuck out

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:12:46 2016 No.8301566 >>8300312 So a literary version of taylor swift.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:18:50 2016 No.8301578

The Idea
>Guy walks into some store in the most racist place in the USA.
He is black(it will really fuck with people's mind), somebody gives him some racist slur or some shit, and he shoots them.

>People in store also has guns, they gun him down, he gets up and kills them all, even the children.
Police arrive, they gun him down, he gets back up kills them all.

>Later he approaches the on scene TV Crew and makes an announcement on a Live Broadcast, telling everyone that anyone one insulting or attempting harm on his person will be executed.

>The reporter says something along the lines of "What gives you the right to kill people, who he thinks insulted him?"

>He shows a perfect 3d holographic image, that has strange characters/images. He then goes to explain that he has the "right" to do as he because because he is now the ruler of this solar system.

>He says the image shown is the Deed of the Solar system and he just bought it off the being we called God, then goes to list other deities that are found throughout other faiths and through the ages, explaining they are one and the same being trying different ways of rule.

>He says unlike our former creator, he likes to take a personal interest in his work.

>After other forms of law enforcement and military fail at killing him, a tremor goes through the world as they try to reassess their life and their place in it.

>Story follows the new god, has lost of heavy mysticism, magic/energy that defies the laws of physics and advance technology that we can't even comprehend, even when we are sat down and it's explained in depth.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:25:03 2016 No.8301596

Horror/sci fi
>near future, humanity has perfected autonomous drones and 3D printing
>send a massive force of drones and raw materials to either space or the bottom of the ocean to construct a city with zero human involvement
>lose contact with drone team, assume the mission is a failure
>five years later, receive a 'city complete, come check it out' message from the drones
>team goes to check out the city
>drones are nowhere to be found, city is all weird and crazy - stairways to nowhere, upside down rooms, etc
>no real antagonists, but the team slowly gets lost, separated, and start losing their minds

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:25:56 2016 No.8301601

>>8299582
> a white male high school kid from a liberal family gets redpilled thru the Internet and joins a secret cell of right wing anti-globalist anti-SJW hackers

> he serves as the teams meme specialist

> together they uncover a government conspiracy binding together SJW leftists Islamists and international (((bankers)))

> one day, our redpill hero comes home to find his whole family has been bombed by a government drone

>a musclebound badass-seeming man in a hi tech armor Jeep tells him to get in, no time to explain

>this man is Max Dunkleheit. Former USMC combat veteran over 70 confirmed kills. Betrayed by his government, he has gone rouge. He was the one who started the secret hacker cell btw. As well as the masculine father figure our hero always dreamt of.

> the adventure begins. Will our heroes be able to save the west?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:38:08 2016 No.8301637 >Twitter search #depression >copy paste to Microsoft word >1200 pages thus far

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:45:29 2016 No.8301663 >>8301596 it's like a cyberpunk lovecraft i like it

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 14:47:08 2016 No.8301673 >>8301601 >meme specialist chuckled

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 15:06:15 2016 No.8301736

>>8299582
>be me (as in: describing the story from a first person view)
>be rapper (20th century neologism, meaning rap singer, part of the hip hop culture)
>be nigga (strange case of a racial slur that is also used as an afectuous appelative between african americans)
>be rioting (during the early 21st century, throughout most of the 10s decade, racial activism saw a high rise)
>open the gram to take a fit pic (social media was an intrinsic phenomena of the cyber-society. The dawn of the Internet and the increasing connectivity of peoples at light speed generated open virtual communities focused on sharing ideas and images, but often falling into vanity echo chambers. More information on chapter three)

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 15:07:53 2016 No.8301747 >>8299681 Please share an exerpt

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 15:12:29 2016 No.8301760 >>8300728 >the veldt

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 15:31:06 2016 No.8301821
File: 132 KB, 1074x716, Current Mood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>A red-head pays her way through medical school by getting into the world of underground bare knuckle boxing.
>Slowly becomes an alcoholic and increasingly convinced she'd the reincarnation of an Irishman from 1920s New York.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 15:33:13 2016 No.8301828 >>8301565 you got me, i bamboozled you all

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:02:42 2016 No.8302742

>>8300728
What about, like, he keeps using it to do bad things to himself (he cucks himself, he crashes his car, he gets into debt, he develops cancer), and the psychiatrist is all "yo, wtf is he doing?"

The psychiatrist, being a psychiatrist, is too fascinated by this man's seemingly endless cycle of self-destruction. He SHOULD stop the experiment, before the MC finally snaps one day and, like, shoots up a school or something, but instead, he just keeps taking notes, because the MC is just way too interesting to kill off.

In order to get a better understanding of what the MC is going through, the psychiatrist puts the helmet on himself and tries to simulate getting caught in a train wreck. He rationalizes that it's one of the most helpless, most dangerous experiences he could witness for himself in the real world, and the absolute feeling of powerlessness would help him to sympathize with the MC a lot more.

He ends up surviving the initial train wreck, but when he is told his entire body will be paralyzed, and that he will have to move around in a scooter powered by a tiny breathing tube, a few days later, he decides to kill himself by paying a nurse to pull the plug on him.

He wakes up, terrified and trembling, convinced by just how REAL the whole experience felt to him, and he concludes that the MC is certainly past redemption if he can continue to subject himself to limitless horrors such as the one he just faced.

In the ending, the psychiatrist is sitting in his office, and the MC just walks into his room and drops the virtual reality interface on his desk and tells him that he "won't be needing this anymore".

Naturally, the psychiatrist is like "Oh shit, he's finally gonna do it. He's finally gonna murder his ex-wife, or jump off a bridge or something, I gotta see this shit for myself."

The psychiatrist follows the man around, but all he sees is...nothing. Absolutely nothing. The man buys some fruits at the grocery store. The man picks up photography as a hobby. After a few weeks of this, the psychiatrist just gives up and decides to forget about the case altogether.

But he can't.

It's just too unusual for him to let go, so he puts on the virtual reality helmet for one last time and decides to flip through all of the experiences the MC went through for himself.

He sees the man getting cheated on, he sees the man getting mugged, robbed, beaten, imprisoned, raped, beaten again; he sees him developing AIDS, cancer, and HIV, he sees the man fighting through an infection in his right lung after a bad car crash collapsed three of his ribs, he sees the man rising to fame and glory, and losing it all in one fell swoop, he sees the man dying, hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of times...But he never once saw the man give up on life like he had.

Pt 1

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:06:06 2016 No.8302753 >>8299582 >a plane of busty teen cheerleaders crashes on the mysterious pedoph-isle

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:07:18 2016 No.8302758

>>8302742
For all the pain and torture this man went through in his own, virtual reality world, he never once paid a nurse to pull his plug. He never once stuck a fork in the electric socket to wipe away his life and his crippling debt. He never once jumped off a bridge, or held his breath underwater until he couldn't breathe no more.

The man was a fighter.

Every catastrophe he's ever faced, he's finally learned to face it like a man. And what the psychiatrist finds in the last, final moments of his virtual reality world is the MC's wife, breaking up with the Main Character. For good.

And what the main character does in that one, final scenario is the most mundane, uninteresting thing the psychiatrist has ever seen in his entire life. He goes out to buy fruit. He buys a camera and takes some pictures. He finds a lovely woman at the far end of the bar, and together, at the ripe old age of 30, they get married and live happily ever after.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:09:39 2016 No.8302765 >>8301637 H I G H A R T

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:13:21 2016 No.8302774 >>8301477 Damn, son. What the fuck? I would read that...I think.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:14:24 2016 No.8302778 >>8300956 Shut up, nerd. That's romantic as fuck, dweeb.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:35:06 2016 No.8302848 >>8302758 I like this, anon.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:36:24 2016 No.8302856 >>8300504 I would read this. Actually, I'm kind of sad that I'll probably never read this.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 20:42:52 2016 No.8302882 >>8300625 Read Poe or watch the film Vertigo for examples. It's creepy, no doubt, but has a very poetic quality to it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:11:34 2016 No.8302981 >>8301637 Don't give Mira Gonzalez any ideas.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:14:41 2016 No.8302994 >>8300795 It's just a healthy dose of queerantagonism.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:16:45 2016 No.8303004 I'm giving a detailed account of history. Basically, I'm using these explanations >>>/pol/81969000 as my foundation.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:18:36 2016 No.8303012 >>8300504 >girl x is edgy This might be an okay story, but the way you describe things makes you sound like a fucking faggot.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:24:58 2016 No.8303036

>young woman falls in love with a demon she worships
>the demon compels her to do good deeds in its name
>she becomes progressively more self destructive
>but she brings love and joy to everyone around her
>she sacrifices her left arm to the ocean and lies on the sand bleeding out
>the demon mends her wounds and carrier her into the black night sea
>everyone knows her but can only remember her like a dream

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:33:31 2016 No.8303062 File: 148 KB, 970x545, Last-Unicorn-Review-060915.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8303036 Charmed meets The Last Unicorn

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:35:49 2016 No.8303068 >>8303062 I take that as a wonderful compliment, thank you.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:39:06 2016 No.8303078 >>8300331 Last one sounds a lot like Taxi Driver.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:50:36 2016 No.8303113 >>8301477 Jesus im cracking up in class now

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 21:53:34 2016 No.8303120

>>8299582

I had a sci-fi idea in my head for a long time, I am just afraid it will turn into YA trash.

>Mankind almost extinct

>Ayylmaos that migrated to earth thousands of years ago now run most of the earth

>Boy's father saves a dying ayylmao that is too far away from his civilization and gets mauled by animals

>Boy grows up with recovering Ayylmao in his small human village

>Ayylmao is so different in biological structure, culture, and environment that communication is impossible, for ayylmaos do not communicate with words but through an extremely complex combination of blinking patterns and rapid changes in facial expression and patterns shapes and colors in the eyes

>Father unexpectedly dies

>Ayylamo feels duty to look after boy

>Boy grows to a man, is able to understand ayylimo more, but not fully, for it's too distant from human language to translate more than simple phrases. Instead, boy and village attempt to teach the ayylmao ancient tradition of written language, which doesn't exist in ayylimo culture.

>Ayylmao now old, with more understanding in human culture and language, explains his original quest was finding the ruins of an ancient city, in order to discover the lost origin of his species.

>Ayylmao dies of old age.

>Man being stronger and now emotionally attached to ayylmao vows his life to leave his village and search for ancient city in search of lost knowledge.

>Man finds city after many years and adventures, it happened that it was undiscovered for long because it was hidden underground

>Finds human language in city in to his surprise, city looks absolutely nothing like ayylmao cities in architecture and utilitarian design.

>Discovers Ayylmaos long ago enslaved humanity and kept them as working class slaves, left to work out their lives in underground cities, built underneath sprawling advanced alien cities.

>The original city that the ayylmao was talking about is lost to time, forest now grows over everything.
That is where I have ended up so far, I have to think of a way to wrap up everything and what is my true core meaning to all of it.

Also i plan on actually adding more characters and an actual arc etc. of course. These are just guidelines.

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 22:31:22 2016 No.8303246

>>8299582
>Girl survives the destruction of her Freedom fighter's base
>Thinks she's the main protagonist in a YA book version of Red Dawn about Evil Russian (Soviet) army because she survived (She was extremely lucky.)
>Goes and tries to hunt down the Evil soldier who called in the bombing run
>She meets reality

>On the Soviet side the Soldier who called in the Bombing run is scavenging cities that are now desolated or destroyed for any information on what had happen as his primary objective from chain of command.
>One morning during scavenging some chick just crashes down the rooftop
>Something, something, about magic and supernatural, and Paranormal
>Doubt

>Chick that fell thru the rooftop is a supernatural hunter who is on a mission to kill the paranormal entities who have been killing humans.
>Thinks she's in Paranormal, Supernatural Investigation YA with a strong Heroine who falls in love in first sight.

>Other assorted P.O.V

Overall I'm going to make a deconstruction of Typical Ya novel

Anonymous Wed Jul 20 22:58:14 2016 No.8303359

>nazi in paris during the occupation
>no more or less dedicated to the cause than the average nazi
>is present for killing of french boy
>brother of killed boy remembers his face
>when occupation ends he adopts the cover of a frenchman
>creates new life
>hunted by brother of dead boy
>final confrontation

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 00:56:40 2016 No.8303684 >>8301821 Love it but she better be ugly and sexually frustrated

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:04:08 2016 No.8303701 File: 104 KB, 625x352, 1469077448049.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8299968 Would read

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:14:11 2016 No.8303718 File: 932 KB, 825x991, 1464042125499.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8299968 Anon...I think you a projecting yourself too much through your literature.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:16:26 2016 No.8303723 it's about how much i fucking hate moralsfags >guy do a lot of atrocities >he lives happy forever after people will think it's a criticism of something but i just hate morals

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:20:10 2016 No.8303733 >>8303723 A-Are you me?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:21:59 2016 No.8303735 >>8303733 Tell me about your novel.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:29:58 2016 No.8303754
File: 32 KB, 600x350, 3ad7b6684bb627767e4ed8d0da8f8f9f2ae285b702f97de8673212c74c804df2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>man has two lives: nicest person you'll ever meet, and twisted fucking psychopath
>novel alternates in narration. his "nice" person is written like a YA novel, prose in vein of John Green and characterization/story on par with Fault in Our Stars
>his "twisted fucking psychopath" persona is written as a mixture of Bret Easton Ellis, Pynchon and the authors of the Illuminatus Trilogy. story is absurdist novella tier with very strange characters.
>book involves him trying to maintain harmony between two lives

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:32:34 2016 No.8303759
File: 240 KB, 444x604, 1350612444690.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8299582
>astroid lands on earth
> shoots curious by stander in the dick
> the guy's dick squirms away in the night
> man lives without dick as his dick becomes a monster growing and eating dogs and cats.
>its up to the dickless man and the neighborhood to take down the now alien fused monster dick.

Netflix show in 2020 staring rob schneider

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:35:44 2016 No.8303765

>>8299582
>After collapse of world govt/nuclear war/Yellowstone eurupting
>Fuedal system developed in Midwest America
>Lords and knights are the only ones who have access to firearms and ammunition
>Gunsmithing is an incredibly rare and sought after taken
>An the youngest son of a lord must travel to do different kingdoms to rally support for a hord of savage invaders coming from the Rocky Mountains
>Meets some whacky characters
>Gets captured by vilified religious cult
>Turns out Religous cult is the only people pretty keeping rational
>Uses knowledge perseverd by cult to make Gunsmithing more widely available
>Army prepares for invaders
>Barely resist the foreign waves
>Captures a general of savages
>They weren't invading
>They were running away

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:44:42 2016 No.8303782

>girl gets married young
>starts to worry that she's married the wrong guy
>he's nice and funny and smart, everything you want
he's legitimately doing nothing wrong btw
>she starts cheating on him
>when he finds out, he leaves her
>she finds out her mistake
>spends her time realizing the mistake that she made
POV switch to guy
>guy spends time alone for a long time
>eventually starts to date again
>is sad because he thought his marriage was everything that is was supposed to be
something like a commentary that marriage shouldn't be perfect and that it's the flaws that make it a wonderful thing.
Also considering adding a couple other ideas like
>same town, v religous school
>gay guy trying to explore for the first time
>hiding from school things
>"underground" gay societies, etc.
things like that

>>8299727
if protag had a good reason and was straight
would read
>>8299968
damn... 7/10 probably would buy even if self published
>>8300331
first: maybe. Read On the Road and come back
second: take away the mr skeletor and why not set it in a NYC-esque area, or in NYC, and he can explore the boroughs? Pretty complex already
third: change the ending to a more depressing one and I would legitimately consider it one the best plots ever
>>8300399
not bad tbhfam
>>8300504
holy shit i love it
listen to the prev comments and pray that some fag on here doesn't steal it
>>8300632
make them fraternal twins
also, could be really good, but make it 250 slogfest and we have a deal
>>8300642
shitty desu
>>8300647
narnia desu
>>8300951
include a new best old man friend who needs diapers changed but the drugs help him want to reconnect with the love of his life
>>8301596
would read. i like that there wouldn't be some shitty AI taking over the world bullshit

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 01:51:00 2016 No.8303798

>>8303735
>Soviet Sniper is task to gather information on what is happening outside of the Occupation Zone as his primary objective
>Secondary objective is to call in a Bombing runs on secret Insurgent bases
>Kills of any and all people who aren't Soviet soldiers with only three exceptions due to circumstances or because it relates to his primary objective.
>Calls in a bombing run on a insurgent bases knowing it held children
>When a survivor from the destroyed base called him out for all of his atrocities he committed, he simply tells her she's an idiot for romanticizing war and ridicules her for believing she's in a movie before killing her.
>The Entire novel is simply Romanticizing vs Reality.

>>8303246
This is the novel I plan to write

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 02:01:37 2016 No.8303821 >>8303798 Sounds dumb, sorry.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 02:49:04 2016 No.8303912 >>8303765 Check out One Second After. It's pretty good and a little similar to yours, I think I like your story better though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 02:57:59 2016 No.8303928 >>8303723 >it's about how much i fucking hate moralsfags Edgy

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 03:11:33 2016 No.8303948 File: 148 KB, 960x887, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8303684 What? Of course she is, man. Otherwise she would just whore herself off.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 03:20:30 2016 No.8303963

>>8303782

>>8300504 (me) here

Actually since I've plenty of free time nowadays and will still have plenty of free time in the foreseeable future I think I'll start this now. What length should I write the novel? I think the best way to incorporate the other anon's great advice is to write this novel in a Marquezesque magical realism and philosophical fiction type of way deprived of the generic romantic novels soppy prose and long details of unfounded emotion

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 03:33:09 2016 No.8303982 >>8303798 Sounds like pretentious cynical pedagogy to me, especially with the Mr Broody Badass MC lecturing someone else on what basically amounts to "welcome to real life hun"

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:01:56 2016 No.8304021
File: 90 KB, 594x868, a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8299582
>boy sees new girl moves in neighbourhood
>girl is quirky af
>girl talks to boy a few times , but has a jock boyfriend and only sees him as a friend.
>boy sings in front of the whole school , girl realizes jock is an asshole and decides to give boy a chance.
>girl goes on adventures with boy , all is well
GIRL GETS ASS CANCER , EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING SLUT

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:22:56 2016 No.8304050

>set in a medieval fantasy world, with magical-powered technology
>MC is a naive, tries to be a traditional "hero" and assumes the best of people
>young son of an aristocrat being groomed to take a place on the corrupt high council
>high council is lining their pockets and looking after their own interests rather than the peoples'
>best friend of MC is secretly working with the rebels
>kingdom is at war with beastmen
>get word that the beastmen have located a way into an ancient, near-mythical city to take their technology
>specifically an army of golems
>MC tags along with best friend and female friend and a company of men to stop the beastmen
>they eventually find the city, kill the beastmen troops
>Best friend decides to take control of the golem army to overthrow the council
>the army is powered by souls
>the army needs more souls than the beastmen so best friend convinces the female officer to help him kill their own troops to use in the army
>he does it for the good of the kingdom
>MC tries to stop him
>gets killed
>soul gets trapped in an advanced construct body deeper within the city
>MC reawakes 50 years later in a new body, pieces together what happened
>Decides to go after Best Friendo and Army Chick who've become king and queen
>Joins up with a small group of rebels who want to reinstate a council
>Breaks into the palace, sees that it's ruled by Best Friend the 2nd and his sister Army Chick the 2nd

And that's as far as I've gotten. I can't decide whether to have the MC kill them and become king or spare them/get defeated and escape to try and undo the past.

I want to show that the villains are the same as the MC except for the villains believing that the ends justify the means. I'm also considering making it in the far far future, where nuclear war has created beastmen and other fantasy things and reduced the world to mostly a medieval state. The "magic" in the world is really just people mutating to be able to harness the power of radiation.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:30:47 2016 No.8304066

>>8303782
>first: maybe. Read On the Road and come back
That's where I got the road trip idea from. The story isn't framed by a road trip, but the plot builds up to one. The first half is set in their shitty little suburb, the second half is set at Mount Maunganui, in the aftermath of the Rena oilspill.

> take away the mr skeletor and why not set it in a NYC-esque area, or in NYC, and he can explore the boroughs?
I'm not from New York and I like to set things in my own country. Also it's a fantasy book (the train conductor is a spider) so mr skeltal has to stay.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:32:22 2016 No.8304068 >>8303078 Well... shit, you're right.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:35:37 2016 No.8304072 >>8303036 Beautiful, 2bh, famiglia. Would be an excellent children's storybook or something.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:52:42 2016 No.8304105

>>8299582

>Unambitious but accidentally successful middle-aged investment banker
>Realizes that he hasn't felt real emotion since he was a little boy
>Persuades his parents to allow him to move back in
> >Tells them he needs a break from the stresses of work
> >But actually just wants to be a kid again and start over
>Realizes his home life was actually a little fucked up
>Becomes depressed
>Starts hanging out with kids from nearby elementary school
>Starts writing a YA fantasy novel with suggestions from the kids
>Begins to feel happiness again
>Parents of kids find out 45-year-old man has been hanging around them asking for help with a "book"
>Call police on protagonist
>Protagonist freaks out and kidnaps busload of kids
>Frantically trying to finish book before he is caught
>Gets kids out at beach
>Knows police are close
>Holding novel manuscript in hand, walks out into water
>Kids standing on beach
>Tells them all the lessons he has learned about childhood
>Realizes he must look crazy
>As cops arrive, protagonist clutches manuscript to chest and swims out to sea to drown
>Cops arrive on beach to whole bus of children standing on shore watching
> >Wtf
>The end

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 04:55:21 2016 No.8304109 >>8303982 >Mr Broody Badass MC What?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 05:00:14 2016 No.8304121 >>8304072 Probably too dark for an actual children's book but that would be an interesting medium. I'd need to find an artist, though. Thanks for the love!

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 05:17:14 2016 No.8304148

>>8304121
Children actually LOVE the deeper, grittier story lines that adults enjoy too.

I remember being in preschool (PRESCHOOL!), and my favorite book was about this Japanese legend called "Momotaro", and the best parts of the book were when he would go off to the demon castle and cut off the demon's heads and stuff.

Before the teacher read it to us, she'd always say "Okay, this book is a little violent, but...", but nobody really cared. We all LOVED that book. All 25 of us.

And I know it's some sort of taboo or something to say this. but when I was a little girl, all the boys would say "those books are too bloody for you, read this instead", and that'd make me want to read those kinds of books even more.

I'm actually writing a dark, solemn children's book right now about a hunting dog and his adopted sons, because I think its stories like those that make children really interested in literature in the first place.

I want parents to read my books to their children every night and say "Damn, son. This author is BASED asf. All her work is GOAT-tier patrician shit."

Your story would be a PERFECT children's book. Trust me.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 05:19:17 2016 No.8304149 >>8304148 Gosh, I'm incredibly flattered. I've never received such an honest compliment on 4chan. Thank you, seriously.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 06:27:08 2016 No.8304257

>>8302742
>>8302758
There are some interesting ideas in there definitely, although it goes against the ending I had in mind for it. Seeing as I'm only writing at a snail's pace, I may as well tell you my idea for it. Basically the MC starts to lose his grasp on reality, and his despair increases as the things he wants (i.e. his wife and daughter) become increasingly distant in 'real life'. The psychiatrist notices his increasing instability, realises his project is a failure, and bans the MC from using it and tries to revert to traditional therapy. Instead, the MC kills the psychiatrist, cuts his wrists so that he's slowly bleeding to death, and puts the virtual reality interface on one last time. Time is all relative in virtual reality (like the DMT afterlife theory), so instead of living a depressed life in the real world, he chooses to live in a make-believe utopia of his own creation, where he's reunited with a family who love him.

Any feedback on those ideas appreciated, as is any ideas for a middle section tying the premise to the ending.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 06:46:18 2016 No.8304293

>>8304257
That ending is pretty good, 2bh, famiglia.

I just wanted to get out of that whole "Patrick Bateman psycho killer" rut, and what that other anon said about how virtual reality plots are just shticks for schlocky writers really got to me, so I was trying to see if there were a way to write a virtual reality story without turning it into a cliche-fest.

About him killing the psychiatrist, I don't really see why he would do it. I mean, I guess its a way of showing he's gone off the deep end, but the psychiatrist is relatively harmless and innocent. I don't think it would be fair to write the MC killing off such an innocent bystander for no real reason...Unless he killed the psychiatrist because he KNEW he was going to take the VR modulus away, and because he KNEW he needed to live in the fake world forever, because the real world was just too much for him.

What about if the majority of the book (taking up nearly the whole middle part of the book) was about him using the virtual reality modulus to carefully craft the perfect murder of said psychiatrist?

Every now and then, it cuts to the psychiatrist, trying to piece together the psychology of this lost cause, and he kind of has these flashbacks and stuff to his own troubled past, and to past clients, back when he was young, and back when he either invented, stole, bought, or worked on the VR modulus. He could be sort of the MC's foil. A personality to bounce off of.

And when you're not focusing on the psychiatrist, it jumps back to the main character, who's hiding his practice under false pretenses, like imaging killing his wife, or imagining his killing his boss or something, but in actuality, he's trying to practice getting away with killing the psychiatrist. And you can show him making really detailed mental notes, like "Okay, it takes 3.14 seconds to do blah blah blah, and it'll cost me about 2,300 dollars for the proper tools, and I can get that by playing poker for just three days, if I can practice counting cards correctly, and then I have to learn how to hide these bodies in various parks and lakes, which is going to take a long time, but I'll disguise my intentions by pretending to bury dead pets or something."

I don't know. Just make it really dramatic and interesting or something. Almost like The Great Escape, or some sort of wacky, detective-mystery drama.

Eventually, the psychiatrist manages to finally find out what the MC is planning (he looks down at his beer in horror and bolts out of his chair in a panic), but by then, it's already too late, and the MC is in his office, waiting for the poison in the psychiatrist's beer to take effect (he finally settled on poisoning his beer, after three months of trial and error).

Realizing he's about to die, the MC and the psychiatrist have their very first actual psychiatric/patient moment, and they both talk to each other like equals, and the psychiatrist dies as the MC's equal.

I don't know...Something like that, maybe

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:09:41 2016 No.8304339

>>8304293
Thanks, and I take your and the other anon's point about it being a fairly clichéd plot device. Found your ideas interesting too, and might try to work them in somehow.

My idea for the MC killing the psychiatrist was based on two reasons: firstly practical (psychiatrist held the virtual reality interface and would never have allowed him to commit his idealised suicide), and secondly to show that his experiences of committing extreme violence in the virtual reality world had left him completely desensitised to his moral actions in the real world. I think there's a good link to be had there, but I still need to tighten it up in terms of character development. So while I like your ideas, I don't think it would make sense for the MC to plan the murder - he does it not out of spite or passion, but, in the moment, he needs to do it to fulfil his goal, and the moral consequences have become meaningless.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:24:30 2016 No.8304361

>two people fall in love while in hell
>accept each others past lifestyle choices and make the best of circumstances
>realize that had they met on earth they wouldn't have fallen through life's hardships and ended up in hell
>condemn god for placing them each on one side of the earth, settling their fate already at birth
>devil can't stand them, they're a bad influence to the other sinners. Pretending to care for them, he urges god to let them into heaven, making a case that the 'purity' of their 'love' is better suited there.
>god ignores his pleas, angering him.
>the devil decides to play a trick on god and tests the sinners theory hoping to be rid of them once and for all
>secretly reborn in the same village
>instantly fall for each other, live righteous lives and are received at the pearly gates when dead
>god is completely clueless
>ends in monologue from the devil, where he once and for all has proven that god is unjust, but the fact that he in doing so, helped those two idiots tortures him.

Imagine the two sinners irritatingly passionate with long deceleration of love á la Romeo & Julia.
The conversations between god and the devil and his final monologue are Dostojevskan, think: The Brothers Karamazov.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:32:33 2016 No.8304368 >>8301596 This is great

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:42:23 2016 No.8304383 >>8301596 Other anon said it best. This is modern Lovecraft at its best. Unironic BRAVO.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:45:12 2016 No.8304389

>>8304105
I like it a lot, there's something sweet and universal about an adult trying to be a kid again, retracing lost innocence etc.

And maybe I'm reading into it but the fact that the law enforcement and the ones who call them in are adults, trying to maintain an order, is symbolic to the indoctrination surrounding adulthood and its rigidity.

The whole kidnapping sequence is fittingly spontaneous and whimsical, almost like a kid who's in way over his head.

The ending is kind of Moonrise Kingdom-y, it could work but It all depends on how it's laid out, It might be lacking something, I'm not sure what.

Would read though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:49:29 2016 No.8304392 It's just a five hundred page catalog of ships.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:54:21 2016 No.8304398

>>8304105
I like the idea - how well it works hinges on how realistically you can portray the kidnapping in my opinion. Obviously that's quite an extreme thing to do, so you'll have to show that the main character feels like he has no other choice, and is driven to doing it.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 07:58:36 2016 No.8304407

>Young man inherits his father's position within a circle of elites who control essentially everything in the world
>Isn't of the amoral mentality befitting to the rest of the members, having to mask it in fear of being found out
>He discovers the interconnectivity of global disasters, all gradually forming together into a grand scheme
Now I can take it in a lot of different directions, haven't decided yet. But I think the most plausible continuation is:
>He works towards disrupting the efforts, having to strategically outthink the collective plans of other members
>Eventually the plans fail, becoming out of control
Until...
1. He ends up disappearing to relative safety, perhaps with the world in complete anarchy but saved (or not)
2. He becomes a heroic figure, idolised across the globe, with the ominous fear that the elite are now out to get him possibly leading to a second book

Meanwhile alongside all this, there's his sheltered existence with his close sister, the estate and its staff, all juxtaposed and eerily detached to the madness that surrounds him.

13,000 words into it so far. Going for the 200k mark, if not more. Really enjoying the process so far.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:07:35 2016 No.8304428

>Seer-girls-in-training get their powers at age 16 in a formal ceremony
>part of the process involves them seeing the rest of their life and death
>the evil prince or some shit I'm not going to get into is in town, ostensibly for the midsummer festival
>two girls are 'awakened'
>one sees herself being captured and executed by the prince only months from now
>flees that night
>the same night the prince and his men storm the temple and kill all the Seers except for the other girl who just got her powers
>girl 2 saw her death at the hands of girl 1

>shenanigans

Can never think of a middle act. But then again I can never be bothered writing more than a chapter so it doesn't really matter. Given it a really shit writeup, to be fair it is shit but there is a bit more detail to it than that.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:46:14 2016 No.8304483

>>8299582
>>8299642
C+ just based on initial presentation

>>8299681
Could be an A- if written correctly, and I kind of already have a feel of how the book would be written, which is freaking great.

>>8299727
Could be an A- story, if written properly. Upon initial presentation, I give it a C+

>>8299937
Meme+

>>8299968
H I G H A R T
Unironic A, if written correctly.

>>8300193
Initial presentation is a very odd, and probably unintentional case of "Less is more". Would read. B+.

>>8300312
Bad. C-.

>>8300331
1. C+
2. B+/A-
3. A-

>>8300399
A-

>>8300504
>>8300522
>>8300552
>>8300710
H I G H A R T
Unironic A+

>>8300632
B

>>8300642
A-

>>8300647
>>8300949
>>8301358
H I G H A R T
Ironic A++++++++

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:47:15 2016 No.8304485

>>8299582
>>8300687
>>8300712
Agreed. C+.

>>8300728
>>8302742
>>8302758
>>8304257
>>8304293
>>8304339
B R A V O
Unironic A+. Keep at it, VR-Anon. VR plots can be great if done properly.

>>8300731
B R A V O
Unironic A+. It's like a modern [that one book by Kafka about cockroaches or something]. Please continue writing this, fuck that other anon.

>>8300791
>>8300800
>>8300826
Modern "Catcher In the Rye"
Not bad, not good either. Just a window into the modern teenager's soul.

B+

>>8300848
Kind of all over the place.

B+

>>8300854
!!!
????
A-?

>>8300951
B+/A-

>>8301443
H I G H A R T
Ironic A++--+++++--

>>8301477
???
D+/A-?
???

>>8301496
>>8301516
>>8301549
GREAT short story material

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:48:24 2016 No.8304490

>>8299582
>>8301496
>>8301516
>>8301549
GREAT short story material
A-

>>8301578
C-
Kind of all over the place.

>>8301596
Modern Lovecraft. Love it.
A+. Very well done.

>>8301601
C-
Not even meeming you. I feel like I would pick it up just "for teh lulz xDDDD" and then give up on it and never read it again.

>>8301637
H I G H A R T
Ironic AYYplus

>>8301736
H I G H A R T
Ironic 8+

>>8301821
Reminds me of Fight Club, kind of.
Solid-A material.

>>8303004
Kind of lazy? Would probably read ironically, but realistically, I'd give it a C-.

>>8303036
>>8303062
>>8304121
>>8304148
Very beautiful. Children's story book or not, this NEEDS to be finished.
A+. Great job.

>>8303120
No offense, but it's kind of...cliche.
B- just to be nice? But realistically, I'd give it a C-

>>8303246
>>8303798
???
Kind of bad, even when looking at it through a "deconstruction" lens. It's far TOO critical, and it has too little subtlety.

Maybe a C-, or a B- just for novelty?

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:50:10 2016 No.8304494

>>8299582
>>8303359
Good stuff. Solid A. "Book of the Summer" material.

>>8303723
Shitty version of "American Psycho"
C

>>8303754
Meh. C.

>>8303759
Meh. B.

>>8303765
Was also going to say "Meh" until final wham line. Now I'm interested. What next?

B+

>>8303782
Not bad, 2bh, famiglia. B+/A-.
Pretty nice deconstruction of the modern marriage.

>>8304021
???
D+

>>8304050
Pretty disjointed, B+
How about you make it so that he spares them, because he realizes the kids shouldn't have to answer for their parent's crimes, and they're literally just casualties of their parent's actions? Just an idea, maybe.

>>8304105
First anon put it best. Your story is really beautiful, in a way that's hard to describe to most serious, middle-aged moms and dads.

Maybe your main character doesn't have to die? What if he’s all like “I have to die, it’s the only way I can be free!”, but the lifeguard just pulls him out of the water and calls him a foolish idiot. The judge thinks he’s a weird guy, but generally well intentioned and goes easy on him. He just goes to low-security prison for a few months, gets out for good behavior, has to do X amounts of community servie, but the community service makes him happy, because it gives him an excuse to see the kids again? Guy ends up just donating the novel to the class of students and lives happily ever after. The end.

>>8304361
>>8304361
Loved it so much I clicked on your post twice.
Beautiful, sad, funny, smart. I like it already.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 08:51:12 2016 No.8304495

>>8299582
>>8304361
>>8304361
Loved it so much I clicked on your post twice.
Beautiful, sad, funny, smart. I like it already.

Solid A.

>>8304392
????
D+?

>>8304407
Maybe the plan just fails completely, making them realize mere men like them don't have the power to play God?

The council is just about finishing wrapping up all their collateral damage, but now they have to deal with MC, who used the chaos's opportunity to reveal the truth to the world, kind of as a "this is the last straw" moment. Keep going, anon. This has got the chops to be really good stuff.

B+/A+ for literal effort. Not a lot of people have actually started the "writing" portion of writing.

>>8304428
Self fulfilling prophecy? Prince is told that a seer will kill him/expose him/imprison him/etc. Sets out to kill them, only for Seer 1 to go rogue, who then uses her newfound seer powers to do badass shit (which are super strong or something? Because when other seers die, she absorbed their powers as well?).

Girl 2 works with Prince to kill Seer 1, after convincing him it's Seer 1 that will kill him, and she tells him she knows this because she can "see the futuuuure! woooo!" But in reality, she has no idea who kills the prince, and why and how.

Story alternates between Seer 1, trying to find answers, following clues left behind by the seers before her, who saw this shit happening, and placed secret hints to help her along her journey. and the prince and Seer 2 (who is also super powerful and shit, because she also absorbed everyone else's powers), and the prince and the seer start to fall in love, and it kind of humanizes the two of them; showing that even monsters have hearts and souls. Eventually, it gets to the point where Seer 2 and the prince are protecting each other from Seer 1 not out of fear for each other or something, but out of genuine love.

A-

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:02:07 2016 No.8304511

>>8304495

Hey, >>8304407 here. Thanks for the insight, I think the idea of them underestimating the 'power of the people', so to speak, would fit perfectly - that they can't, as you say, play God.

The whole premise behind the elite is that they have their claws into every industry, every media outlet, going through a long hierarchy before directly influencing the affairs throughout the world - part in safety and discretion, part so as to convolute any investigation into their existence. It mirrors a lot of the conspiracy theories with regards to the Bilderberg group, media control and the like. But higher and subtler than that still. I've mentioned a history of the group going back to Hanseatic times, controlling the merchant banking system and the like. The idea of the veil being removed and the people rising up would be really solid. Thanks bro.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:02:42 2016 No.8304512 >>8304392 Change my mind. D+/A+, if done correctly.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:07:30 2016 No.8304522 >>8299582 >the thing >meets time travel >in space Plz no bully

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:11:36 2016 No.8304529

>>8300399
This sounds great actually. Really speaks about this generation. I'd read it in a heartbeat. Please start working on this and post updates from time to time in the writing threads here so we can follow your progress. 100% serious. I want to do something with this similar theme.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:12:52 2016 No.8304533 >>8300498 Rule #1 not only in writing but in any creative endeavor: Ideas are cheap.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:27:38 2016 No.8304561 >>8300941 But you're a shitty writer so it'll never be read by anyone anyway

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:35:18 2016 No.8304580 >>8301596 10/10 idea. Will read if you finish it or steal it if you don't.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 09:36:36 2016 No.8304587 >>8301637 Tao go to bed

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:11:20 2016 No.8304679 >>8304105 There are no unambitious investment bankers t. Finance guy

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:16:48 2016 No.8304688 >>8304257 So basically you're an edgy teenager that cares more about shoehorned grit and darkness (like your soul) than actual quality, artistic literature. Got it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:19:20 2016 No.8304692 >>8304361 I think there's potential but that you lack a fundamental understanding of what is just and God.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:23:20 2016 No.8304708 >>8304407 Your assumption that such a group is amoral to begin with tells me you're young and naive or at the very least not very creative.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:28:20 2016 No.8304721

>>8299642
Maybe if it's done well... but sounds more of a writing practice.
>>8299681
Interesting. Could be very interesting if written well.
>>8299727
Eh, I don't know.
>>8299968
Pretty good, wouldn't read it though.
>>8300331
First is cliche as fuck and sounds boring.
Seconds sounds cool. Would read. Maybe.
Third sounded fucking lame at start but I love the idea of two school shooters meeting and seeing where it goes from there on. Don't think I'd read it tho.
>>8300399
Maybe as a short story.
>>8300498
>There're just some things that are taboo, and stealing another author's work and calling it your own is one of them.
Even plot ideas are very rough and five people picking out one, would still write five completely different stories, nothing wrong with it. It's the actual writing that matters, not some shitty idea.

Personally I couldn't do that though, artistic integrity and all that, besides I love my own ideas just more ... although I hope to get a nudge from the things here, just would never take more than two meme arrows from a post.

>>8300504
Some interesting bits, some dragged ones, ending saves it from being overly cringe. Could work as a novella. As another anon noted, the girl could use more development and contrasting her with the boy before and after would be cool.
>>8300632
Could turn interesting, also yeah, twins makes it less dramatic.
>>8300642
Sounds like a typical navel-gazing YA story.
>>8300647
Very basic.
>>8300687
Very basic again.
>>8300728
Pretty boring. I don't see the point nor how you could make me care about the guy during his depression.
>>8300731
Kinda dull, unless it's very well written.
>>8300791
Could be interesting but kinda cliche overall. Could use a stronger ending ... also it's pretty unrealistic that he got killed if he had no weapons on him. Germany isn't US of A. Also making the guy interesting will be a challenge.
>>8300848
Not much of a story, not very realistic and feels kinda pointless.
>>8300854
Similar to above with slightly more potential if you can mesh that mess together into one story.
>>8300951
Why not.
>>8301477
Eh... I don't see it.
>>8301496
Kinda boring and cliche ... but could be good if done well...
>>8301578
Could work as some postmodern dreck, maybe.
>>8301596
Missing something but perhaps just not my genre. Seems boring to read about guys getting lost and losing their minds.
>>8301601
Has potential.
>>8301637
Fucking genius. Don't forget /lit/ once you get that six figures deal
>>8301736
Why?
>>8301821
Not bad
>>8302753
Pedos aren't into teens, so it'd be pretty boring
>>8303036
Pretty cool. Would probably read
>>8303120
Some decent ideas mixed in sleep inducing boredom
>>8303246
It could be pretty interesting
>>8303359
Very cliche so depends all on your writing and research skills
>>8303754
The part that the parts are written in completely different styles sounds cool but the story itself is pretty dull so far
>>8303759
But what about his balls?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:29:24 2016 No.8304724 File: 12 KB, 220x229, download.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8299582 pic

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:30:58 2016 No.8304730

>>8304708
I'm nearing 30 and morality is, inherently, a subjective term. I only say amoral here because the intentions of the group are such that the entire populations throughout the world are tantamount to play-things generating income for the group through poorly recompensed positions throughout their businesses. They don't, themselves, consider their actions amoral. They are above all others. Subhuman in comparison to their percieved, let's say, 'ubermenschen' persona.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:43:57 2016 No.8304764

>>8303765
Kinda mediocre.
>>8303782
The guy sounds boring otherwise it's fine.
>>8304021
Boring.
>>8304050
>Decides to go after Best Friendo and Army Chick who've become king and queen
Wouldn't they be fucking old by then?
Also bit too many cliches but solid overall. Not something I'd touch though.
>>8304105
Sounded fucking boring and unrealistic at start but him writing a YA novel and all the kids could make it pretty cool.
>>8304148
Can confirm, love similar books as a kiddo. Hell just check any of the Grimm fairy tales before Disney raped them, the shit was dark as fuck.
>>8304361
Kinda cliche, kinda cute. Might read.
>>8304407
>He discovers the interconnectivity of global disasters, all gradually forming together into a grand scheme
That part makes it pretty unrealistic and it feels that the whole thing will be too black and white. Also 2. is fucking horrible, 1. can work I guess but so far I can't imagine how the story will look too well.
>>8304428
>girl 2 saw her death at the hands of girl 1
The saving grace for the whole thing. Although probably not enough.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:44:47 2016 No.8304767 >>8304730 Oh, you're just an idiot.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:47:42 2016 No.8304776 >>8304485 >>8304721 I'm the guy who's writing a screenplay about an islamist. Thanks for sharing your opinions.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 10:49:54 2016 No.8304786 >>8304767 Yes.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 11:02:40 2016 No.8304814 >girl is held captive >girl gets helped by a boy >she falls in love >boy whores her out >girl becomes a big deal's courtesan Yes, it's porn. Is that sounding like something you'd like to read, ladies?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 11:42:27 2016 No.8304917 >>8304764 >The saving grace for the whole thing. Although probably not enough. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 14:32:14 2016 No.8305475 The interesting thing about my novel is that there are actually three different plots happening, depending on whether you skip every other word. Example: I am THE fish CATCHER with BIG sea LEGS.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 16:00:52 2016 No.8305806 >>8304533 So are patents

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 16:11:37 2016 No.8305844 >>8304776 Did you know some Afghani refugee kid in Germany just got shot up by the police today because he went nuts and chopped up some people with an axe? I just read it in the news, and it reminded me of your story, so that's cool.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 16:17:54 2016 No.8305867
File: 4 KB, 225x225, angrypepe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8299582
>Tfw had an entire flashdrive worth of story ideas that I compiled over the course of a few years
>Majority of them were shitty, but had at least 50 good ones
>Lost them because I was at the school library and I used it to print out a document and left it stuck in the library computer
>Someone took it
>Didn't return it to lost and found
>He has all my story ideas
>He has all my story ideas
>He has all my story ideas
>He has all my story ideas

rrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 16:57:52 2016 No.8306008

Oh man, I love these threads even though I couldn't sum up my plot at gunpoint ... it's a very character centric trilogy in a modern setting resembling the 90s technologically while socio-economically it's a mix of Gilded Age with faux democracy and Absolutist undertones, but without religious elements. Basically dystopian without screaming about how dystopian it is. Also it's actually the future 500 years after the world we know got wiped out.

There are six main viewpoint characters who interact with and affect each other at some point while pursuing their own goals, and here it goes...

1
>idealistic but lazy guy emigrates from his shithole country to leave le mysterious shady past behind
>meets an insufferably narcissistic artist in school (makes sense in story context), they develop a somewhat open relationship, are on the same wavelength, everything seems too good to be true
>she gets involved in dangerous, seemingly paranormal stuff, disappears/"gets captured" by the government
>attempts to rescue her (and change the world while he’s at it)
>meets many different people and groups on his journey (mindless slaves, thugs, pirates, members of the nobility, some loli with hacking skills and a guy who is clearly inspired by Bin Laden)
>becomes most wanted terrorist causing chaos, destruction and indirectly starting a fucking war

Your typical byronic hero who fails at being truly ruthless and struggles from a moral choice into another, turning most people against him … which is all part of THE PLAN

2
>eldest daughter of a powerful politician (kinda a less competent Alexander VI)
>very popular, gentle, almost saccharine and idealistic hence not respected by her peers and used as a political pawn by her family
>actually a disillusioned psychopath and control freak playing everybody
>supports the terrorist guy from the inside, attempting to crush the entire system just to see things happening and testing her intellect
>organizes the assassination of her father/mother and becomes the de facto head of the most powerful country
>starting to get conflicted since her actions endanger the future of her little sister

Basically a smarter, slightly deranged Taylor Swift who does politics instead of singing

3
>sweet naive member of a cult-like organisation with self-worth issues
>discarded by the said organisation and left with a fellow member and a creepy but somewhat charming guy who clearly wants to do her
>the three are basically refugees and travel through the countryside
>meet couple shady people and eventually rather friendly bounty hunters/couriers
>they have adventures together, she eventually becomes an important target due her knowledge about the organisation
>the guy who wanted to do her, attempts to do her in
>she betrays her friends in order to get into a better position

That kind girl who gets manipulated and used so often, it turned her into a manipulative bitch, who corrupts others

1/2

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 16:58:53 2016 No.8306013

2/2

4
>cynical, high ranking member of a scary powerful cult-like organisation addicted to gambling (and pretty good at it)
>competitive and playful but dully follows orders of the leader, who is also kinda her "boyfriend"
>invited 1 to join the organisation after they met under ... complicated circumstances
>they spend couple weeks doing small time jobs for the organisation with him; kidnapping the kid of an mafia lawyer for example
>seemingly betrays 1 and 3 by the end of the first book
>goes over to play the part of a high ranking government agent/adviser on the orders of the leader, who wants to undermine the government from the inside
>also supports the terrorist guy from behind the scenes in her free time

Bit of Becky Sharp or a darker version of Puck with tits, who would totally murder a kid with her bare hands. A lot of the plot develops because of her actions or inactions

5
>high ranked “detective” in a corrupt and bureaucratic system where any kind of work gets delegated to the peons, in her position due nepotism
>slacks away in the office drowning in coffee until she gets an overly motivated underling who wants to reform the whole thing and actually cares about fighting crime (the guy is also childhood friend from 1)
>they never make any noticeable progress and she gets kidnapped by terrorists at some point
>meets 1 during escape attempt, they actually get along well after initial animosity, he lets her escape
>they cooperate later but she’s forced to choose whether to side with him or his childhood friend, and picks the latter

I … have no idea how to sum her up. A resigned/detached white collar worker looking for purpose or something

6
>semi-insane, self absorbed, charismatic aristocrat who lost his position and family in a coup
>looking for revenge at any cost, has a band of very competent, quirky and loyal sidekicks
>moves up by betraying his benefactors and allies but manages to put the blame on others
>becomes underworld crime lord and assassinates members of the elite/nobility
>rises from the underground and manages to gain public support over 2, and orders kidnapping of her sister

A modern, darker and edgier version of Don Quixote who is better at hiding his madness and would unironically quote The Price. Doesn’t actively do much himself but constantly improves his position

Well, this is a not very short nor a very detailed sum up of what happens in the first two books ... sorry for making this so painfully long.

Anonymous Thu Jul 21 17:12:52 2016 No.8306065

>edgetheist 40 year old man shoots self
>misses and is in coma
>in coma dreams about rokos basilisk, ends up becoming ubermensch in dream and rising above the rigid moral absolutes of the basilisk
>b plot involving his friend and a girl friend of his having conversation in the waiting room while hes out. its told entirely like a play in order to highlight how they're basically "acting" in order to get in each others pants
>edgetheist wakes up and is still an atheist but has developed as a character
>b plot resolved naturally
>the end

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 18:21:26 2016 No.8306241 >>8299968 Call it... The Metamorphosex

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 18:23:45 2016 No.8306250 >>8304814 Barf, no, what the fuck ew

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 19:09:28 2016 No.8306411 Greentext the incipit of your novel. I will tell you how good it is just from the two first lines.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 19:29:51 2016 No.8306465 >>8305844 Yeah, I heard about it. But it happened a few days ago, not today. I'm gonna work on my main character, reading different opinions on my story made realize its potential.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 19:51:50 2016 No.8306514 >>8301601 kek'd

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 21 20:58:10 2016 No.8306685 >>8299642 Isn't this basically Jack London's Martin Eden?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 01:37:03 2016 No.8307458 >>8304494 I'm >>8304050 How would I make the novel less disjointed? I've never written a novel before, I'm mainly a scientist.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 04:20:37 2016 No.8307786

Multiple perspective third person narrative between two generations of white and black families in conflict in Philadelphia. Only political insofar as politics are intense, blurred, and immediate to the characters. First part is all I worked out in detail. Working on a memoir of my travels right now which I may not do anything with but its good practice.

>prose reinterpretation of the first part of Paradise Lost with a few higher ranking black nationalists after the 1985 MOVE bombing deciding that theyll devote their lives to petty selfish crime instead of doomed idealistic causes
>this leads two of them to become gangbangers and one to kill himself, one gangbanger dies of AIDs and the other has an illegitemate son with a hood skank and a short lived career as low level a crack pusher before going to prison where he is killed by Aryan Brotherhood
>later his bastard son is an intelligent but deeply troubled, self loathing and scared adolescent growing up in north philadelphia who becomes involved with a white girl from out of the city out in an attempt to escape his own life and reach some mythological suburban ideal
>her father was one of the firemen in 1985 who was ordered to stand by and watch the neighborhood burn, and tho he was distressed at the time has grown deeply racist over time to cope with his guilt
>she is a shitty college liberal going to college in the city and getting off on slumming with an oppressed POC
>her brother is an altright borderline neonazi cop who will come to hesitantly accept their relationship because he approves of how self loathing Black MC is, and will be killed in a genuinely unjustified way by a random hoodrat shortly after, driving the alcoholic father to strangle his daughter to death in a drunken rage
>Black MC returns to his hood thoroughly shaken to raise his infant half sister, but is haunted by the fact that he knows he would still leave if he could even if it meant abandoning her

What ya think /lit/

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 04:35:01 2016 No.8307812 >>8299582 I don't want you to steal it.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 04:45:51 2016 No.8307836

>>8307812
Think of it this way- if someone's such a pleb that they have to resort to stealing plots from an anonymous anime imageboard, do you really think they're gonna go anywhere in life?

I thought that everyone here was under the assumption that we weren't going anywhere in life.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 04:59:30 2016 No.8307845

>>8307458
Maybe split it into 1 or 2 books to spread it all out, and make the big reveal that this is the future in the 2nd book, kind of as a way of "answering" everyone's lingering questions.

1st book:

>Beastmen and Humans are embroiled in bloody war over [really, really good reason that allows readers to sympathize with both sides]
>MC is young and ambitious, but is shielded from truth of shady council
>MC finds out bestfriend is rebel, but bestfriend manages to redpill him before he can tattle
>MC realizes his society is harsh and truly corrupt
>But he also realizes his friend is planning to overthrow the government WHILE THEY'RE STILL AT WAR WITH THE MANBEASTS
>Convinces best friend, female friend, and a personal company of loyal men and mercenaries to search for this "lost" temple that all the beastmen are going so crazy over
>Rationalizes that if he can somehow gain control over this "golem army", then he can both end the war in one shot and revolutionize his broken government
>Throughout the journey, he learns more about his bestfriend and realizes just how different from each other they really are
>His bestfriend may not be a corrupt bureaucrat, but in more ways than one, he's still no better than they are
>In his quest for justice, he's become TOO radical and extreme to take on any real position of power, and this reflects his attitude when he's fighting, or negotiating, or intimidating, or whatever
>MC actually kind of likes Army Chick, but she clearly digs the Bestfriend a lot more, because Bestfriend is actually a suave, charismatic mofo
>I mean, MC is no slouch
>He was being groomed to be the next council men, and he's been trained to fight and die
>But the bestfriend, man. He's literally Revolutionary Leader material
>Without bestfriend, they probably would have died many, many times on their journey to the temple
>They suffer heavy losses and they all lose a small part of themselves on that dangerous journey
>Using wits, charm, skill, and a little bit of fair gold, the party finally manages to find the lost temple
>Beastmen beat them to it, but they're even weaker and even more tired than the party of human, and they don't even know how to get in
>Bestfriend wants to just rush in and slaughter them all while they're licking their wounds
>By now, they're so done with this whole fucking mission that even the MC's own men are like "Yeah, fuck this, just listen to your bestfriend"
>MC says no and marches out solo to negotiate peace
>Talk of peace goes South rather quickly, and they all just end up slaughtering the beastmen anyway
>MC is like "fuck"

pt 1

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:00:34 2016 No.8307848

>>8307458
>During the battle, they accidentally manage to open the door to the lab, and stuff
>It turns out it's really just an old, underground factory, or a laboratory or something
>All the mythical "golem soldiers" are really just hyper-advanced autonomic exomechs developed by the long extinct US government
>In order to operate them, you need to hook someone up to the wires of that mech and it'll quickly kill them and use their brain matter to power a very basic, but "smart" AI system
>All the beastmen are already dead, so it's not like they can just use them
>They're all like "fuuuuuuuuug, we came all this way just to get rused like this?"
>They choose to camp here overnight and sleep on it before deciding what to do in the morning
>MC sees bestfriend and army chick acting all suspicious and shit
>MC wakes up in middle of night to see Army Chick walking inside Bestfriend guy's camp
>MC is like "Fuck this, dude. I'm going to cockblock bestfriend"
>He walks inside their tent and they're just kind of sitting there, they were waiting for him
>They tell him that it takes "Souls" to power these huge automatons, and obviously, MC has a small party of loyal mercenaries and guardsmen at his side
>He gets the hint, but he doesn't like what they're implying
>I mean, these guys aren't expendable either
>They're loyal to him because a lot of these people he considers his friends
>They tell him that this is WAR, and if something isn't done, another party of beastmen will come by eventually and wipe them all out of they don't act soon
>He says no, and that the mere fact that they've even considered the possibility means that they've simply gone too far
>Bestfriend pulls an arrow on him and is all like "C'mon, man. Please. I really, really, really don't want to do this"
>MC gets up to tell his men to arrest them and thinks his bestfriend actually wouldn't do it
>Arrow straight through the heart
>He looks in disbelief at his bestfriend
>Army chick slowly lies him down on the ground and grabs an interface node
>Plugs it in to the base of his neck and MC dies, still staring at his bestfriend in disbelief
>All around him, the MC's men are being butchered in their sleep by traitors and hired arms and hooked up to the golems
>Book ends with the bestfriend and army chick, sitting there in the middle of all this carnage while all these mechs are beginning to power up, clutching their once living friend to their chests, wondering what they are going to do now

pt 2

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:01:42 2016 No.8307850

>>8307458
>There's an epilogue
>Bestfriend and Army chick are getting married right there, underground in the abandoned laboratory, saying their vows and promising to protect each other for all time
>Roses are blowing and tumbling in the wind
>An army of emotionless golems are standing right beside them, like towering witnesses to a very solemn matrimony
>Right as they exchange their vows, deep within the pit of the labyrinth, the small lights on the interface of an exceptionally large automaton begins to blink once or twice before a small computer module laying next to it on its side begins counting down the moments before the mech can begin to reboot its hydraulic systems

pt 3

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:02:52 2016 No.8307852

>>8307458
SECOND BOOK:

The second book's purpose serves to explain a lot of the backstory and worldbuilding behind the first book. There should be lots of exposition told by mysterious and wise people, and it should expand more upon the societies of that world and their culture and origins.

>MC reawakens 50 years later, and a small part of the beginning of the novel is just exploring his new mech body, and the surrounding area around him
>He barrels his way out of the dark dungeon his mech was being kept in and finds that the lab from the first book is now barren and stripped of all its technology
>Everything is covered in wild roses and thornish vines
>Angry, and wanting revenge, he travels back to the kingdom to confront his traitorous friends, and on his travels, he finds a small group of beastmen and humans huddled together, hiding up in the trees
>Upon seeing the MC, the humans and beastmen react with fear and panic, pelting him with bombs and catapults and shit, but even the bombs just barely scratch the paint off of his new skin, and the logs and boulders being tossed at him do no more damage than a child's imagination
>H quickly subdies them but spares their lives when he begins to wonder why humans and beastmen are suddenly starting to work together
>It turns out the world has changed drastically since the 50 years his mech has been rebooting
>The beastmen are more or less completely scattered to the winds
>Their kind were BTFO by the golem army, and the few that are left are poor, hungry, and tired
>They joined together with a few humans who opposed the new leadership instilled by the bestfriend
>A lot of them are members of the aristocratic society, and one of them was even once a member of the high council, once young and energetic, and now old and weathered
>The MC learns that the bestfriend and army chick from the first book got married, annihilated the beastmen, went back home, annihilated the old order, and took reign of their new kingdom as king and queen
>He vows to help them on their quest for justice and rallies all the refugee humans and beastmen living within the forest
>Now HE is the revolutionary leader, and now HE is the inspiration to a noble cause
>Men pour in from all parts of the wilderness, hearing of a towering, metal giant that promises peace and a new life
>The kingdom hears about this shit and is all like "fuuuuug, not another war"
>The MC and his ragtag army march against the city and come upon its gates
>The MC offers one last chance to surrender, but the town guard just fires an RPG at the MC's face (it's appropriated technology reclaimed after years of neglect and abuse)
>The MC just gets pissed and is all like "Alright, fine. Let's do this your way"

pt 4

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:04:00 2016 No.8307854

>>8307458
>A massive siege begins as the city uses its powerful, reverse engineered weaponry, and the forest people use radiation-powers magic (which has evolved into something much more refined and deadly compared to the first book after 50 or so years)
>MC just knocks down a wall with his ROBOT FUCKING STRENGTH and the ragtag group just pours into the city walls like a huge mess of vikings and woad raiders
>They claim a little less than a third of the city within just one night before the fight comes to a standstill
>MC sees some of his men harassing the citizens, but he's like "hey, cut that shit out"
>Beastmen turn to him and tell him that before he joined MC's army, his son and daughter had to beg him to end their suffering, and that he still doesn't know what happened to his wife after a bunch of soldiers took her away for themselves
>MC is just sitting there, looking at all the destruction around him, and he's just sitting there like "fuuuuuuuuuug"
>Next day, same old same old
>Middle of the city becomes a no man's land, where homeless citizens now roam around to scavenge for food and medical supplies, and the MC's army patrol those ruins, shooting and ravaging any scavengers on sight
>MC doesn't like the way he's slowly losing control of his own army
>They stood before him when he promised them justice, but now that they have half the city to themselves, they no longer have a real reason to follow him
>One night, while sleeping, he dreams about being a human again, and he dreams that he never had gone on the adventure in the first place
>He dreams that he had ended up just becoming a part of the council, and through negotiation and his own self confidence, he dreams he ended up changing their corrupt ways and becoming fair people
>He wakes up in a start to find that his people are rushing around in a panic because the whole golem army from the first book has finally arrived from their mission to eradicate all beastmen, and there's no way the rebel army can fight against the entirety of the golem soldiers
>The MC rallies his troops with one last inspiring speech, knowing that even though he's some sort of badass prototype mech, he might not even be able to survive fighting against this many of these golems

pt 5

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:05:03 2016 No.8307855

>>8307458
>They charge in one, last final battle, and the MC fights ferociously
>Backed into a rock and a hard place, the MC begins to fight dirty, using the innocent civilians as leverage against the golem army, he manages to break through the front and makes a beeline straight for the king and queen's place
>There, he breaks through the stone walls, ready to end this war once and for all, but instead of finding his old bestfriend and army chick, he finds bestrfriend the second, and army chick the second
>Literally just two scared kids, willing to do whatever it takes to live the next day
>Old bestfriend and army chick aren't even alive anymore
>Old bestfriend literally drowned while trying to go swimming drunk, and army chick died 10 years later of some random illness
>They don't know WHY he's attacking the city
>They don't even really know WHY the beastmen want them dead
>That's something that their parents did 50 years ago, and since the victors got to rewrite history, they don't really KNOW why everyone's so buttmad in the first place
>The MC is just looking at all this and goes "fuuuuuuuuuuuuug"
>Finally, he's like "Alright, that's my bad, guys. This whole war thing was pretty pointless and dumb. I'm sorry about everything, I'm just going to take my army home with me, rethink life, and have a long hard look at myself in the mirror"
>The two kids are like "Uh, okay. Thanks for not killing us, I guess?"
>And the MC is all "Oh, yeah, no problem. Can you call the golem army off for us? They're kind of killing everyone."
>And the kids are all like "Yo, I thought that was you. We didn't even order them to come back here. We actually totally just kind of forgot about them."
>"MC is like what? What the fuck?"
>And it turns out the whole golem army is actually under bestfriend's, army chick's, and his control
>Their last order was to "kill all the beastmen"
>And it's true
>Ever since the mechs showed up, they tried their damn hardest NOT to kill any men. Only beastmen.
>And since bestfriend and army chick are dead, MC has full, total control of them
>He's like "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuug" and calls the entire golem army to him
>Immediately, the golem army stops what they're doing, mid-massacre, and everyone looks in awe as they all surround the MC
>He tells both sides that he's going back into the forest with these golem folk
>He tells them that they should probably look toward living in peace, because if they don't, well, he's got an invincible golem army with him, and he can MAKE them live in harmony if he really wants them to
>He goes off into the forest with the golem army and is never seen again
>Both sides of the war are just standing there like "Wow, okay, what the fuck? Now what."

pt 6

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:07:01 2016 No.8307857

>>8307458
>Epilogue
>Hundreds of years pass, and no one is really sure whether a golem army really exists or if it's all just a really crazy legend
>Some say that deep in the forest, you can find a lone, wandering golem, taking care of the plants and animals around him
>Some say, that deep within in the mountains lies another army of golems, so awesome and terrible that they make the golem army of legend look like a small classroom of starving children
>Whatever is truth or not, no one really knows
>But at the same time, no one really cares all too much either, because tomorrow is MC day, where people celebrate and have a feast in honor of MC, even though no one really knows whether MC was real or not
>And during this festival, both beastmen and human alike come out onto the streets and sing, and dance, and be merry together, far after the sun goes down.
>And thus, the legend of the golem army goes

The End.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:08:17 2016 No.8307858

>>8304389
>>8304398
>>8304494
>>8304679
>>8304764

Author of >>8304105 here. Thanks for all the advice.
Responding to your notes, I think that something I unintentionally understated was the realization of a false and idealized notion of childhood innocence that the protagonist experiences. Once he finally becomes a kid again, it's ruined by adulthood... A little like his experience as a child in the first place. He essentially finds out that innocence only exists personally, that any relationship to reality or to others brings on the possibility of moral corruption via adulthood, and that the most he can do is existential crisis the fuck out while hopefully planting something in some kids' heads that makes them think a lil bit.

That being said, I'm not writing that book at all, just brainstorming for the future.

Here's a new idea

>Twin girls finish sophomore year of prestigious liberal arts college, med school track
>Disenchanted with the Teach For America ladder-climbing-ness and lack of originality that their peers embody
>Find a secret room in the attic of an abandoned building in NY where tons of heroin addicts regularly come to shoot up (the building, not the room)
>Use med school friends to get tons of Naloxone
>Say they're doing some service project or whatever
Fyi, Naloxone is a nasal spray and/or IV/intramuscular shot that stops heroin overdose
>Live together in secret room playing angel or devil with the lives of addicts
>Deciding whether or not to go down from their room and give Naloxone
>Probably incest, lesbians
>Cut hair short and pretend to be male addicts to avoid getting fucked up
>Start using
>Go through days hazily, sometimes saving lives and sometimes letting people die
>Start wondering what it's like to almost die and be saved
>Compile words and sentences from people whose lives they save
>Paint them all on walls of secret room
>Eventually just drift off into complete addiction
>One dies
>Then the other
>I dunno I don't have an ending

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:09:35 2016 No.8307861

>porn star gets a too-real death threat in the mail telling him to stop boning for a living
>disregards it, insists on keeping with that lifestyle
>bad things start happening, things go missing in his home
>ends in the middle of a shoot during a choke scene where it's likely the harasser is waiting for him in his house
>all the while he's meeting people like
>fellow porn star who's only famous because her Vagina and butthole are fused together, making a cloaca
>an up and coming pop star who's desperate to be treated as a person
>notorious sexual assaulter who's locked in his own body now and left to ruminate on his life

It's shit

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:09:59 2016 No.8307862

>>8307852
>>8307850
>>8307848
>>8307854
>>8307855
>>8307857

Thank you for the input. I really do plan on writing this novel out. I've always wanted to write a fantasy novel and have had this idea for a while. For some reason, nuclear chemistry has given me a burning desire to write.

I've been writing on the characters and the world but once I begin writing the actual story out I'll have a better idea of how the characters develop. One of the underlying themes I've decided to have is Carl Jung's The Shadow. Darkness within ourselves, within good people. I have bits and pieces of the world and the story that came to me in a dream or as an idea I've had during a sleepless night.

I do appreciate the input very much. I'm not a writer, just a man indulging in a childhood fantasy.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:21:13 2016 No.8307878

>>8307845
>>8307848
>>8307850
>>8307852
>>8307854
>>8307855
>>8307857
To think the community can be so dedicated and helpful. Reminded me a lot of Dragon Age. Also the best friend and army chick dying and getting replaced is a pretty cool twist, only the ending is kinda dull.

>>8307858
Like this one even more than the first, very nice premise, only the middle seems lacking something.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:26:45 2016 No.8307882

>>8307878
I appreciate that (>>8307858 here)
Gonna go post some poetry at the critique thread now. I wonder what I could put in the middle. I think it feels right being slow because they're just getting introduced to heroin... maybe they have an old friend come visit them?

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:31:15 2016 No.8307888

>>8307882
> I think it feels right being slow because they're just getting introduced to heroin
Yeah, exactly. An old friend visiting can work, depending on what he/she adds. Perhaps some kind of resistance from the addicts or some problem from the outside.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:33:48 2016 No.8307893 >>8307888 Nice trips. It would be nice if it added an emotional contrast, because most of the book follows a slow tone. I can't write for shit though, only a creative, not a writer.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:41:27 2016 No.8307900

>>8307878
Fuck, man. Endings are always my weakness. It's always either "happy rainbows and sunshine" or "Ow the edgehog"-tier.

>>8307858
>>8307882
Maybe instead of a slow ease into heroin addiction, they do that thing where they're all like "Pffft, we don't get addicted. We're not the same as THESE scum. We're better. We're UPPER MIDDLE-CLASS. WE'RE GOD."

But they get sucked into it so fast and so hard that it completely takes them by surprise, because they completely underestimated just how dangerous and violent addiction really is.

Like, literally only a month after their first hit, they're starting to brainstorm "alternative" ways of getting more money to get more heroin.

From there, it's just a rollercoaster on non-stop action. They get found out they're girls, they literally can't remember the last hour they've been sober, something about ass-to-mouth, it just all blends together into one big mess.

Like, one of their friend's face gets blown off after he fails trying to cook meth, and they chase after a homeless guy who took their needles and shit, and one of them gets raped by a police man, and you're thinking "wow, that must have been a really shitty week", but then you keep reading and the book is like "No, dude. This all just happened yesterday", and the audience is just standing there like "fuck".

And at the ending, maybe have it so that, like, their parents come by or something to identify the two bodies, and the cops are like "You might not like what you're about to see, but are these your kids?" And the parents kind of linger around for a moment because SOMETHING about their faces just seem so familiar, but in the end, they turn to the policeman and tell him "No. You must have the wrong parents."

And that's how the story ends.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:43:31 2016 No.8307901 >>8307861 ??? Elaborate? I think this could be really interesting, but your formatting is kind of hard to follow.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:44:35 2016 No.8307902 >>8307900 Well anon those are the only two endings that exist. They determine if the story is a comedy or a tragedy.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 05:46:38 2016 No.8307904

>>8307900
Huh, interesting take on it! Goes against my imaginary writing style (cause I don't have one but if I did I imagine it would be fairly light, not very gritty), but I could try and just apply a gauzy filter to my writing over all of the nazzzty stuff. They'll definitely become so addicted that it isn't their choice in the least but I want them to do it in a nice way. So the transition between living uselessly by choice and doing so by addiction is seamless.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 12:14:39 2016 No.8308655 >>8307858 4679 here. You could make him an auditor. Same levels of stress as bankers but with lower cap on earnings and much more dull. Definitely could be unambitious there.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 12:17:04 2016 No.8308663 >>8305806 You can't patent ideas. You're thinking copyrights. Good luck proving a copyright case over a simple idea.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 12:18:34 2016 No.8308667 >>8305867 Ideas are still cheap. Also, that's basically what you should really be using a moleskin for is for quick ideas.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 13:04:45 2016 No.8308815 >>8305867 Caring about ideas is an easy way to spot a pleb.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 15:51:24 2016 No.8309342

>in a near future ISS receives a transmission a scramble of a possible languages known to man.
> they decoded it and find that ut is a message from an alien race , creators of humanity. Our known gods
> they come to earth to wipe out humanity before it leaves earth

> 3 gods from different pantheons are chosen for this task
> they come to earth and worlds leaders plan to wstop them.is to blow a nuclear packed ISS before the gods enter the atmosphere

Parts of the "ship fa on earth. And the energy of the dead gods is distributed over individuals with certain dna characteristics

> the energy guves them special abilities but makes them deformed

> goverments cover all the story saying it was a metheor stopped before impact. Malformities product of the meteor influence

> goverment hunts down the mongrels in an effor to destroy them

> eventualy sonsand daughters of these beings raise and make a power shift in the world

>now the world is ruled by superhumans that belive thselves gods

People start worshipping them as the power beings they are.

World slowly falls into a totalitarian rule. The superhumans dictate every other and take no for answer. Sliwly humanity is falling into peace but more and more dependant on them.

> the someone starts to single handlely kill one by one of these beings. They want to know who is doing it

> the "goverment" at the superbeings service uses one of the former agents that used to kill the mongrels to investigate
The idea is to write it Noir style, and all of the info above is found by the MC as story progresses. Also there is the incognita of who the killer is and why he is doing it.

Aorry writing on my pho or i will provide more detail

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 16:34:56 2016 No.8309493 >>8307458 You have WAY too many plot points for one, at least as you describe them.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 16:38:20 2016 No.8309500 >>8309493 What the issue when having many plot points?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 16:39:10 2016 No.8309504 >>8307900 That's so cliche it hurts

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 16:40:51 2016 No.8309510 >>8309342 Don't worry about your writing, especially don't worry about ever writing this god awful story. >>8309500 It makes it disjointed and removes actual story

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 16:51:56 2016 No.8309562 >>8304392 Moby Dick II: Ahab's Revenge

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:00:58 2016 No.8309601

>>8309510
>It makes it disjointed and removes actual story
Why? I always seen them as a way to make it faster paced, perhaps more fragmentized but hence easier to uhh... swallow because the bits are smaller, even though there are more of them.

I see how it could make the story appear a bit disjointed but that doesn't seem necessary; the removal of the actual story even less.

Or am I misunderstanding something?

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:04:51 2016 No.8309616

>>8309601
Faster pacing isn't inherently better.
Smaller more frequent plot points may be easier to swallow but come across as insignificant thus making your story uninteresting.
A plot 'point' is some type of climax, the story brings you to them. By having so many points the journey becomes worthless.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:23:51 2016 No.8309696

>>8309616
>Faster pacing isn't inherently better.
It's not, but it's definitely more popular these days, so it's seems like a pro if you have commercial ambitions.

>Smaller more frequent plot points may be easier to swallow but come across as insignificant thus making your story uninteresting.
>A plot 'point' is some type of climax, the story brings you to them.
Makes sense but does it HAVE to be this way? Thrillers tend to jump from plotpoint to plotpoint; and you can still make some stand out more than the others.

Besides, doesn't every part of the journey matter either way? Only if you really overdo it, it can seem too disjointed and abrupt. Using the idea from the anon as example, I'd say it only starts to be overloaded after the 50 years time skip.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:29:18 2016 No.8309715

>>8309696
>It's not, but it's definitely more popular these days, so it's seems like a pro if you have commercial ambitions.
In no way is this true.

>Makes sense but does it HAVE to be this way? Thrillers tend to jump from plotpoint to plotpoint; and you can still make some stand out more than the others.
This is also not true in any way. Thrillers exist because of the gaps in plot point and their pacing.

>Besides, doesn't every part of the journey matter either way?
No.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:30:32 2016 No.8309720

>mother gets plastic surgery
>son has to care for mother
>son questions his values
>son questions his childhood
>most influential woman in his life is vapid and shallow
>son seems himself as a patrician and high IQ
>father and mother are low IQ
>son believes he is naturally low IQ
>son attempts normie life
>son fails at normie life
>stuck inbetween normie
>and pursuing redpill
>ends up being a pseudo-intellectual asshole
>no one likes son

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:35:05 2016 No.8309739 >>8309720 Sounds kinda stupid

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:37:05 2016 No.8309746 >>8309720 Just write an autobiography. No reason to make it fiction. In all seriousness though, how would this be any different than any other coming of age novel?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 17:38:38 2016 No.8309750 File: 27 KB, 599x337, I'm_getting_a_vision.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8309746 desu I am just doing this right now, and I put it on here, I'm not really writing it

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 19:00:14 2016 No.8310003 >>8309510 I'd love to hear some of your ideas Anon

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 19:14:15 2016 No.8310056 >>8310003 I'd love to share but can't find my notebook at the moment. Perhaps after supper.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 19:49:03 2016 No.8310154

>a blonde female physicist and a smart-mouthed philosopher are tricked into exploring a land of dreams by their mad scientist mentor/friend
>they're split off from the philosopher when they make the dimensional jump and have to save him from angry villagers
>during his trial, the philosopher finds out the villagers believe him to be a god of this dimension
>mad scientist explains to the blonde that they're currently in a place that acts as the source of all myths and stories
>he faces off against a redhead prosecutor and almost wins over the villagers, but still loses the trial
>his mad scientist friend walks into the trial, reveals himself to be the god they hate, and saves the philosopher
>they leave with the redhead because she almost died during the trial and hates her village
>the blonde becomes friends with the redhead because they're socially awkward outcasts
>mad scientist reveals that any rule they impose on this reality becomes as real as they believe it to be
>the blonde girl, being a weaboo, transforms into a katana wielding mahou-shoujo
>the philosopher is a gamer and transforms into a modern sorcerer with a powerglove (because it's so bad)
>the redhead transforms into an archer with arrows that can become anything
>mad scientist stays the same, only needing a short sword and shield because he's already badass enough
>the mad scientist reveals that he's on his way to a city that acts as an anchor for all of reality, but dodges the issue when asked why
>they fight a dragon
>redhead starts developing feelings for the philosopher and they comment on how hopeless the blonde is with her crush for the mad scientist
>mad scientist confesses during a boat ride that he's on his way to destroy the universe because he's sick of being eternally reborn as the spirit of every hero in fiction
>before the philosopher could respond to this confession, they get attacked by a leviathan
>the boat explodes
>they reach a jungle where the philosopher confronts the mad scientist
>the men fight each other, splitting up the group
>a tiger reveals himself as the lord of insanity and attacks the girls, trapping the blonde in a temporal prison where she relives the worst the of her life over and over again
>red head puts up a good fight against the tiger, but is easily out-matched
>the mad scientist has to choose between killing the philosopher (which he has to do for some mysterious reason) and save the girls (who are apparently very important to the universe)
>the blonde gets out of the temporal prison because the worst day of her life was also the best day
>she's also now a very powerful angelic being, so she's able to heal the redheads wounds and can fight the tiger more evenly
>the tiger is still too strong for the pair of women
>the mad scientist shows up and saves them, defeating the tiger after an epic battle, losing his life afterwards
>blonde is now traumatized from losing him and decides to become God

I swear this makes sense in-context

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 19:52:05 2016 No.8310165 >>8310154 I sense genre fiction. Also sense more disjointed points that don't make any solid story arch.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 19:59:41 2016 No.8310195

>>8310165
It's definitely fantasy, but I'm having a hard time fitting it into any sub-genre. This is a novella that I decided to turn into a full length book. What I described is just the first act, so that's why there isn't a solid story arc. There's really only one arc during this first part. The blonde goes from being a coward to becoming courageous, but I couldn't fit it into the post.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 20:11:54 2016 No.8310225 >>8307786 Fuck off you SJW faggot

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 20:26:57 2016 No.8310253 >>8310225 #rude

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 20:32:38 2016 No.8310267

>>8299582
>Neurology/ Psychology prof is remodeling kitchen while on sabbatical.
>Runs gas generator in garage with the door open
>doesn't properly ventillate - ends up w/ carbon monoxide poisoning.
>Wife - also prof - gets home.
>finds him passed him passed out.
>Drags him out of the house, calls 9-1-1, resuscitates him.
>He wakes up with Severe Agnosia/Prosopagnosia
>Can't recognize objects
>Can't recognize faces, not even his own.
>In denial about how totally dependent he's become.
>Attempts to hide his symptoms.
>Becomes furious whenever someone notices him making a mistake.
>becomes depressed, increasingly angry.
>Wife threatens to divorce him unless he starts going to CBT and submits to examination that will reveal the full extent of his symptoms.
>He's in a complete state of dependency, and obvi loves his wife
>Still tries to fool the researchers and lies to his therapist
>Wife starts experimenting with little things around the house to see how bad his agnosia is - gives him the wrong clothes in the morning, etc...

If anyone thinks this is interesting I'll post more, but I think I've written a lot already.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 20:40:30 2016 No.8310291 >>8310195 You have WAY too much going on for a novella so I can see why you went full length.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 20:41:49 2016 No.8310294 >>8310267 Could be very good. There's a lot of emotional angles you can use and some pretty good themes you could explore with this type of set-up. I encourage you to fully explore this work and flesh it out.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:13:23 2016 No.8310389 >a man in his very late 20s literally cannot stop having sex with fat women.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:14:46 2016 No.8310394 >>8310294 That's what I'm nervous about. I'm writing this thing with lot of ideas in mind, and I'm nervous I'm not letting the characters be characters.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:17:19 2016 No.8310400 >>8310389 This could be a great short story actually

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:26:37 2016 No.8310424

>>8310389
Eh, could easily end up being plain smut.

>>8310394
Don't plan characters then. Know the characters. Know their quirks. Plan the situations and events, like you already have done here. Then let the characters experience them through their personal lenses. You have the complete outline for the plot. Now figure out the themes. I'd love to read parts as you go if you want someone to look over a couple thousand words here and there, as if it were a writing group, because I greatly enjoy the concept. Same goes for >>8301596 and >>8300399. I'd love to help you guys along as well.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:40:22 2016 No.8310458 >>8299582 >Teenager in highschool >Normal dude >Someone starts killing his friends one by one >Boy gets scared >Almost all his friends are gone >He goes to his friend's house >Hears screaming >Open's the door >Everybody do the dinosaur

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:42:47 2016 No.8310463

>Teacher in a school for special needs kids, our proag is Teacher-Man
>Teenage girl has no clear-cut diagnosis for what's wrong with her - labeled autistic
>He teaches classes in a small classroom of 8~, noting how the girl "always has her eyes on the ceiling" and is very bad about social cues, at times not seeming to pay attention to anything; she has speech difficulties and speaks NO MORE in the entire story than one or two word sentences; she struggles to say certain words and does poorly academically; her outlook is bleak
>our protag likes his job, he likes the fulfillment of helping people - but he also hates his job, he's sick of teaching kids who won't learn, kids who won't get better, things they don't need to learn, he's tired of dealing with constant behavior problems - shit piss, etc you name it, too; hates the administration and wishes there were a better way
>disillusioned with his work, he does try his best - this girl student rekindles that desire to penetrate and teach
>the teacher becomes connected with the girl's family. during a parent-teacher conference, he's invited for dinner - he's attracted to the girl's single mother
>it is eventually revealed that the girl is "always looking up" because she "perceives distant galaxies" - specifically, she can see several advanced civilizations lightyears away - some fight in massive wars with each other, others conduct peaceful missions - she's traumatized and has difficult perceiving her human world as a result, experiencing many alient cultures/languages at once
>this reveal would be shocking, but also make sense with her odd behavior; she is not dumb or unintelligent, she just struggles to express her intelligence
>teacher protag eventually discovers this secret and thinks she isn't actually human
>teacher eventually devises a pattern to girl student's mental problem and realizes she can communicate more legibly through simple, abstract poetry than through regular speech
>this amazing breakthrough results in the girl "penetrating him" - his disillusionment with the world around him is rekindled, he finds beauty in even the most mundane of things
>he is warped by his appreciation of the universe, he suddenly finds it hard to communicate with others and finds it easier and easier to communicate with his student instead
>realizing where this is headed, he "awakens" the rest of his small class

This is kind of a crazy scifi Idea I've been having. Not sure how to end it or if it would turn up fun to read or just a trainwreck. But I like the idea of a "normal" story slowly going off the rails.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:51:28 2016 No.8310484 >>8310463 So he penetrates, huh?

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:56:30 2016 No.8310496

>>8310484
Yeah, I knew you'd get a kick out of that word, anon. It's sexual and stuff.
What I mean by it is more the educational term - to penetrate as to "have the student get what it is you're trying to teach" which happens so rarely it needs an especially sexual word to convey its exciting presence.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 21:57:15 2016 No.8310497 >Teenage girl with a boring life >Mysterious girl transfers into her school and gives her cryptic messages about fate >One thing leads to another and she ends up becoming god or something

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:04:05 2016 No.8310512

>Alien invasion
>Humanity BTFO
>Plot
>Humanity matures
>Realizes limitations
>Only fucking meatbags, limitations of the physical mind. We stop thinking we are special fucking snowflakes
>Muh philosophy
>We realize that even though we are born limited and purposeless doesn't mean we have to stay this way.
>There is no meaning so the only things that matter are things we choose to matter.
>Nihilism with a humanistic and happy twist.
>Just because humans are flawed does not mean we can not fix ourselves.
>Upgrades humanity either biologically or cyborgs and shit
>Aliens BTFO
It sounds so much fucking cooler in my head.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:07:34 2016 No.8310525 >>8310463 Sounds original enough. K-Pax meets Wyndham and stuff for parents to read.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:12:13 2016 No.8310533

>>8310525
Oh god, when you put it like that I want to unwrite what I just wrote.

"Stuff for parents to read" is p-much what I never want to write. "Parents", at least the mainstream sort, are a judgmental myopic insipid bunch that have lost their touch with reality; they appreciate wal mart discount prices more than they do actual art.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:12:26 2016 No.8310537 >>8310463 You had me until you took a crazy genre fiction left turn. Dropped.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:14:12 2016 No.8310545 >>8310537 B-But sempai... you can't...

anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:24:34 2016 No.8310578

>two friends, one has become addicted to drugs over the course of a few years and does most of the talking, the other is generally and feels no inclination for a high that won't solve his pathetic solitude
>drug friend introduces sad friend to an experimental new drug that his dealer has that allows the user to reside within the memories that would form their nightly dreams.
>sad friend does drug and finds himself in an empty squash court that turns to a lodge that turns to a car and so on depending on where he was that day
>sad friend finds someone there that understands him
>sad friend decides to continue doing the drug, starting to spend more time in his mind than in reality
>drug friend begins to warn him of the perils
>sad friend continues and gets into arguments with those in the tangible world about what reality truly is
>sad friend can feel the dream, fuck the dream, love the dream etc more than any other human
>sad friend meets someone irl
>next time sad friend goes to head space, the person he met is there and the dream human is really jealous
>at some point the sad friend has to accept that he only loves this person because they are everything that his solipsistic thoughts desired and simply a conduit for his dumb needs
>asks the irl person to a movie

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:26:12 2016 No.8310583 >>8310578 I feel like you may have never taken drugs.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:29:06 2016 No.8310591 >>8310545 I can do as I please because your ideas are mine already, you write for my pleasure and now that you've failed me you have been removed from my sphere of control.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:30:35 2016 No.8310594 >>8310578 Remove the junkie loser friend and do some heavy editing to your idea. The general concept could be interesting if not a bit cliche.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:30:48 2016 No.8310597

>>8310533
>"Stuff for parents to read" is p-much what I never want to write. "Parents", at least the mainstream sort, are a judgmental myopic insipid bunch that have lost their touch with reality; they appreciate wal mart discount prices more than they do actual art.
Ok kiddo

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:31:15 2016 No.8310598 >>8310533 I don't know, I quite like the idea. Those people probably wouldn't read it, it's just how I imagine the tone for it up until the point the SF twist happens.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:35:55 2016 No.8310612

>middle fantasy world inspired by The Waste Land - you have some city-state empires flourishing in pockets of vivacious, sprawling wilds (which are shrinking & dying, which cause a crisis and a hint of the "end of the world" coming)
>surrounding these city-states are Wastes, places where the world has turned to dust, gravel, or snow.
>Our story follows a high society girl named Bitchgirl. She's one of the elite, I guess a princess. She's not all that likable at first
>Bitchgirl goes to see a fortune teller, wanting to scry her love life - she is betrothed to a mystery man and will be marrying him soon and wants to know what's up
>She is set up with a famous oracle. When reading her fortune, it is determined that she shall find her true love only in the Wastes. She is also given a "Dark Fate" fortune (similar to hanged man tarot) - she is destined to die young, unrequited, and as a martyr; Bitchgirl freaks out as she has a brief vision of the moment of her death
>Bitchgirl denounces the oracle, calling her a fraud. She decides fortune-telling is stupid; fate is goverened only by one's own free will.
>Turns out Bitchgirl is betrothed to prince dickbutt, the asshole that wants tyrannical power and is crazy or whatever, who cares, I'm sure he's still a complex character or something.
>Bitchgirl eventually has to ditch the city, once she slowly realizes what a dickbutt prince dickbutt is. Caravans traverse the wastes, though trade/extra-city travel is rare and exceedingly dangerous. This decision wouldn't be made lightly as bitchgirl likes her status. Probably need supporting cast to carry this part out a little bit, make it believable and interesting escape bit...
>I got nothin' concrete after this

Ugh, I know, it sucks. But I really like some of the poetic language in The Waste Land and I think thematically it'd make for a good basis for a fantasy story involving jaded relationships, dried up spirits, and the renewal of the world through water. "Dust mages" would probably be a big thing, plus there'd probably be a bunch of hidden societies obfuscated in the wastes which could be explored through the protag's travels - lots of world building, even if the world is "dying".

I also like starting with unlikable, unrelatable protagonists and molding them into likable, relatable ones. Having a clearly spelled out fate for our protagonist adds a little tension too, because I can always fulfill the foretold prophecy whenever I want to end the story, building on the initial death vision. I also like the concept of "knowing when you will die makes everything you do before that moment more powerful"

But yeah, prob sux, I git it.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:36:51 2016 No.8310615 [DELETED]

>Earth is secretly controlled by aliens who use it as a form of entertainment
>Aliens "sponsor" a human. They pull strings to help them live their lives.
>Richer Aliens have better more successful humans
>an alien screws up somehow and it's human becomes aware that something is going on
>the alien is attached to his sponsored human and tries to keep it secret
>the human starts arguing that this kind of slavery is highly unethical; alien tries to explain that the humans are honestly better off
>human makes a big display that gains the attention of all the aliens
>the alien is reprimanded and banned from sponsoring
>the human is "put down"

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:45:46 2016 No.8310640 It's funny that almost every story here is genre fiction. Oh, I know why. >plot Jesus, nu-/lit/ is just sad. I want reddit to fuck off.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:47:15 2016 No.8310644 >>8310640 No shit. You think a story that's written organically can be greentexted before it's finished?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:50:04 2016 No.8310652 >>8310612 I'd probably read this.

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:56:15 2016 No.8310670

>>8310640
>genre
>fiction
Why do you use this like it's a bad thing. Genre fiction can and often does transcend its framework. Every story is more than the sum of its parts. You can't avoid every trope in the book. Inevitably, you're going to fall into some genre. If you don't, you will simply create a new genre as a result.

If the quality of the writing is good, if you've got characters and themes which step outside the box, you're fine. The worst sin you can commit is to be a hipster.

Non-fiction is fine and all, but a lot of people read and write for escapism. I think fiction is better for examining certain things, as it removes dumb elements in real life which can get in the way of telling a good story or exploring a good theme.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:56:37 2016 No.8310672 >>8310644 >non-genre fiction is always not planned u w0t?

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 22:57:41 2016 No.8310676 >>8310670 Swing and a miss.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:02:33 2016 No.8310685 >>8310676 Pretty sure I got a ball, son.

>>	anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:07:29 2016 No.8310701 >>8310583 i am an opiate addict my friend lol

Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:25:59 2016 No.8310752

>>8299582
A boy falls in love with a girl.

Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.

But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.

Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:37:04 2016 No.8310776 >>8310752 Solid basis for YA. Go for it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:43:07 2016 No.8310793 >>8301578 Stealing this for YA best seller.

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:45:50 2016 No.8310800 >>8310776 anon pls. lmgtfy.com/?q=keit-ai

>>	Anonymous Fri Jul 22 23:56:32 2016 No.8310816 >>8310800 Why would you know that shit exists?

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 00:05:58 2016 No.8310839 >>8310816 Because /a/

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 00:08:47 2016 No.8310845 >>8310839 You should go back and stay there.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 01:20:18 2016 No.8310960 >cop lives world filled with superheroes >shoots supervillain that is about to kill a popular superhero >becomes a hero The end

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 05:02:36 2016 No.8311304 >>8310640 >he thinks the post modern smut he reads doesn't have a plot

Arya Sat Jul 23 05:25:09 2016 No.8311321

>young girl grew up in an abusive family, got raped by her neighbor, and was left by her mother at an orphanage.
>becomes psycho and starts hurting her fellow orphans.
>nuns decided to send her to a shitty asylum that treats their patients like crap.
>shes in a same room with OCD girl.
>she spent 7 years there and when she reached 18, she decide to escape, since the nurses and guards at the asylum are crappy too.
>she spoke to OCD girl and another psycho that shes plotting an escape, and she could bring them out too.
>OCD girl and psycho felt pumped about it, and they escaped at the earliest day, since the nurses checks on them at around sunny morning.
>3 years later, (22 yrs old) shes living in a home she spotted on a rainy afternoon. The house was big, and she managed to find a bag of cash(billions) that were hidden on the kitchen floor. She decided to stay there and continue to live on...

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 07:47:37 2016 No.8311495 >>8311321 The actual story should start with the billions yo, the rest is flashbacks material.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 08:50:06 2016 No.8311590 >>8311321 That's so unrealistic it becomes uninteresting.

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 08:58:49 2016 No.8311611 >>8303246 Any more opinions on this

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 09:14:21 2016 No.8311632

>>8299582
>guy marches across an irradiated plain, losing all contact with the outside world, losing his identity, and inevitably losing his life
and
>guy confronts the literal ghosts of his past while also being God from the future and trying to both start and prevent the First World War while deciding between his traitorous nation and his long-dead friends and also fuck Hemingway.
and
>state-made pseudo-Greek-hero tries to recapture the reality of his false memories, while also dealing with the post apocalyptic sci-fi Bronze Age he now lives in
and
>plot

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 09:25:05 2016 No.8311662

>boy is NEET who never got into uni, decides to be an author to fill the void in his life and be useful
>>boy loves older girl
>>older girl doesn't care about boy
>>boy goes to uni where older girl is
>>boy finds out uni isn't all he wanted it to be
>>boy starts finding out older girl isn't all he wanted her to be
>>needs to cope with not working hard enough
>>boy starts failing uni
>>starts trying to hang out with cool kids
>>gets over girl
>>finds new girl
>>realize his life is devoid of meaning
>>he can't make new meaning
>boy gradually gets more depressed as he writes the book, prose reflects his state of mind
>boy gives up on writing the rest of the book
>suicide

i don't know lads i'm feeling a strong john green/10 on this one

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 15:00:41 2016 No.8312580 >>8311662 /r9k/:the novel

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 15:41:57 2016 No.8312687 >>8299968 sounds entertaining

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 15:48:15 2016 No.8312711 >>8300728 >Begins to spend more and more time using virtual reality, doing increasingly depraved things - until he brutally murders his wife again and again this part sounds interesting but the beginning could really use some work and VR is pretty dull

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 15:53:11 2016 No.8312728 >a hopeless romantic falls in love despite rational objections I have a 19th tier opening line too. This might be the one

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 15:54:06 2016 No.8312731 >world war 2 >oldest son >father dies >takes over his role >joins army >becomes his new family >degenerates but he still loves them Want to focus on the act of killing and the emotional trauma it entails and the positive nature of humans.

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 16:22:49 2016 No.8312820

>>8303963
It's the guy you responded to

I like imagining certain parts and writing short stories about them. Find a style that you might want to use and give it a try for a small amount of it. Do a ton of types - YA, Joyce, Russian romantic, Herman Melville, whatever you like (I univocally like Murakami, so I try him sometimes).

Once I find a style that might work, I start hitting it

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 17:17:15 2016 No.8313042 >18yo college student >18yo criminal >both live in the most dangerous city in the world, amidst a political and social crisis that seems to reach no limits >would follow their lives and survival in the middle of this eternal crisis

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 18:20:33 2016 No.8313264 >>8313042 Do they fugg?

Anonymous Sat Jul 23 21:05:13 2016 No.8313738
File: 1.99 MB, 500x379, tmp_5270-tumblr_oac2cg7FGS1ujqvcvo1_5001287326774.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>space opera revolving around the lives of an autistic/brainwashed-from-birth female super-soldier, her controlling and manipulative "mother" who's a high ranking military official/politician, and a PTSD-ridden womanizer who finds himself in the middle of a humanity-threatening scandal after trying to stick his dick where it didn't belong
>based loosely on Metroid's clone theory

>>	Anonymous Sat Jul 23 21:53:27 2016 No.8313835 A soldier and falconer reads messages from the city that his army has besieged.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:36:04 2016 No.8314499 >>8313738 What clone theory? Samus is a clone?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:54:06 2016 No.8314540 >>8314499 Oh boy, lemme see if I can track down the image that explains the theory

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:57:20 2016 No.8314547

>>8299582
>depressed 19 year old who realizes that depression is a meme
>sees little hope in anything as his relationships start to fall apart
>hides in a fantasy world he created in his dreams where he relives his childhood memories
>grows farther away from parents and friends as he retreats to his fantasy world
>his dreams soon turn into life-threatening nightmares as he loses control over the only place he could retreat from the real world

This is the farthest I've gotten with a book. Wish me luck, lit.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 01:59:20 2016 No.8314552 >>8300331 The third one is a pretty good premise. Nice one.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:01:14 2016 No.8314555

>boy joins a creative writing class in his school
>teacher of the class is the leader of the schools thespian
>teacher likes the boys writing and assigns him to write a play for the thespian to preform
>boy passes by the thespian practice and meets one of the girls
>boy falls in love with girl
>overtime girl falls in love with boy
>boy finds out that girl has been depressed for a while
>girl had planned to commit suicide before meeting boy
>instead of living life, she wants to commit suicide with boy
>asks boy to have her character shoot herself in the play and actually do it in front of the audience
>boy decides to do it and even writes himself in the play to commit suicide with her
>day of play, boy has a change of heart
>boy unloads the guns they were going to use to kill themselves with
>girl finds out
>final monologue of the play, girl says she knew boy unloaded the gun and can't believe he betrayed her like this
>the audience believes this is part of the play
>girl shoots herself
>boy cries on stage and shouts his regret
>boy kills himself
>end with a standing ovation from the audience

I'm currently writing this as a practice, any feedback is appreciated

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:02:16 2016 No.8314558
File: 49 KB, 803x524, tmp_31159-2016-07-24_12-58-271287326774.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8314499
>>8314540
Found it. It's a bit rough and reaching but its also kinda interesting to think about if you're a fan of the series. Venom Samus NEVER EVER

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:02:56 2016 No.8314561 >>8314555 so like birdman

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:04:22 2016 No.8314562 >>8314555 you'll get shit on for writing postmodern romeo and juliet despite the limited similarities unless you write it really well

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:04:36 2016 No.8314563 >>8314558 Cool theory, although I personally prefer to pretend Other M never happened.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:04:57 2016 No.8314564 >>8314561 Basically with an added Romeo and Juliet, like I said just a practice thing

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:04:59 2016 No.8314565 >>8314555 This has some good potential to be a thriller type of thing.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:11:46 2016 No.8314582

>>8314562
I know what you mean, halfway through writing it is realized the small similarities and I wouldn't know how that would look like if this ever went out, don't really know how to avoid it but like you said, I I write it well enough then it can stand on its own

>>8314565
Thanks, I was planning on making the day of the play kinda like a thriller with the rush of the play being preformed and the boy being happy thinking that everything will be fine while the reader knows that the girl found out. I haven't gotten to writing that part yet so I'm playing around with it in my head

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:30:12 2016 No.8314622 >>8314555 Has potential. The beginning of the love story feels kinda weak though.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:48:13 2016 No.8314658

>19 year old boy joins a local band
>band tours around and starts to get a good reputation
>band gets a record deal
>band leader decides to take the band on a "spiritual journey" and rents a cabin out in the middle of nowhere in a dense forest
>no technology can be taken with them on this "spiritual journey" to record the album
>band leader starts to go mad with power and treats the band members like dogs while trying to record the album

What do you guys think?

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:50:25 2016 No.8314664 >>8314658 Might work as YA if you add romance sub plot.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:51:00 2016 No.8314665 >>8314658 Captain Beefheart?

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:53:35 2016 No.8314672

>>8314664
Idk how that would work desu, the whole point of the book is that they are in complete isolation and the only way of survival seems to be to complete the album

>>8314665
YES! I heard the story and read John French's book and I was determined to write a story about it. It tried writing a screenplay of the actual event, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:59:38 2016 No.8314682 It involves a loli. That's all you need to know.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 02:59:42 2016 No.8314683 >>8314658 that movie Frank? which is based on captain beefheart

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:02:35 2016 No.8314687 >>8314672 How do you plan to keep the readers attention through that though? The situation seems too constructed to create real tension.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:05:13 2016 No.8314690

>>8314683
Yeah but in Frank Jon was the outcast of the group and Frank tried to help him. My idea is more about the brutality that Beefheart made his band go through and the horrible mental and physical trauma they went through trying to survive the situation they were in, where just one wrong word can mean the diffrence between being on Beefhearts good side or being beaten and ridiculed for days

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:12:19 2016 No.8314702

>>8314687
The tension comes from the interaction with the band leader. How schizophrenic and insane he becomes and how the band members try their best to survive and live with such a monstrous figure. Seeing how their lives slowly deteriorate and how they too slowly begin to lose their minds trying to please someone that cannot be pleased

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:18:42 2016 No.8314706 >>8314702 Would leaving be really this hard if he overdoes it? No matter how remote, they somehow got there and planned to leave too. Besides, if he pissed them off all the the same time, they can team up against him, no?

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:30:20 2016 No.8314723

>>8314706
About the teaming up part, I made it so that the band leader dosent go full psycho and they all decide "yeah this guy's nuts". He plays mind games with them and he outs them out one by one. So the band leader will start out by picking a favorite, the drummer for example. He will then tell the drummer "Hey, don't tell anybody I told you this, but the guitarist thinks your tempo has been off lately". At that point he already has the drummer like a pawn, so the next time the band leader picks on the guitarist, the drummer will back him up and he will do something similar to this to everyone band member until there is a point where all band members are against each other.

Now as for the escaping, I was wondering if there was a way I could make it so they don't know exactly where they are. One idea was that they all slept on the way to the cabin so they don't have a good geographical location of where they're at. Another idea was that the main character tries to leave, but ends up doing a big circle and ends up back at the cabin and in the mercy of the band leader and after seeing how pointless escape was for the main character, the others feel that escape is worthless. Any suggestions on what I can do for this?

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:43:24 2016 No.8314773

>>8314723
I see, could work though gotta watch that the band members don't appear too idiotic when falling for the mind games.

As for the escape, sleeping all the way till there sounds way too convenient, the most easy solution is probably placing the whole thing on an island with an agreed pick up date (which the other band members don't know off?) (And perhaps the band leader having means of communication with the outside unknow to the others)

I'd include the failed escape attempt either way.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 03:53:31 2016 No.8314808

>>8314773
I was thinking of an island setting, but I'll have to find a way to make it work. And yeah, I only dabbled a bit on the sleeping on the way there but it felt weak to me. And yeah the failed escape attempt is definitely going to stay, just started writing a chapter about it right now.

Love the idea of the leader having communications with the outside world, I can already see how it will play out and everything. I really appreciate the advice anon, you have no idea how helpful you've been

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 04:00:44 2016 No.8314827 >>8314808 Glad to be of help, mate. Good luck! >just started writing a chapter about it right now. Motivated me to stop procrastinating and go back to writing, so it was a win-win.

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 08:19:38 2016 No.8315459

>boy is taunted by the devil
>interacts with a bunch of wacky characters, each representing some school of life
>falls in love with girl, hates her
>kills his landlord, forced by the devil
>escapes to paris with girl
>girl gets run over by train
>realizes the devil is fake
>realizes how life is absurd
>commits suicide kamikazing into isis headquarters

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 09:36:54 2016 No.8315580

>Man's wife dies whom he truly loved
>As she dies and they have a moment together she says she'll meet him in dreams
>He actually does meet her in his dreams every night
>He is satisfied knowing she actually is coming back to see him every night and lives happily ever after

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 11:57:23 2016 No.8315923

>Humanity has become a multi-planet civilization.
>Civil war has broken out between the galactic government and a rebellion.
>War has gone on long enough that civilians just want it to end.
>Government creates an advanced AI (the main character) that can think freely, which is unprecedented, and gives it control over warships.
>It has been designed to function with a thought pattern modeled after a human, and as such, it can understand humans better than any other AI
>The AI changes the war from a stalemate to a steady stream of victories for the government.
>Just after decisive victories happen, which cripple the rebellion, the leaders of the of the rebellion sabotage the AI causing it to go berserk as a last "Fuck you" to the government.
>AI and it's warships destroy the planet the rebellion leaders were on and kills millions of other humans on other nearby planets.
>Government wrests control of the warships back from the AI but it still controls the hundred ships closest to the command ship it's installed on.
>For a full year the AI battles the government before suddenly being freed from the sabotage.
>AI is horrified by what it has done and tries to retreat.
>Government, deathly afraid of the being of destruction, sends attack fleets led by heavily restricted AI with the task of destroying it.
>Main AI easily avoids/destroys the attack fleets and deletes the other AI after failing to talk/reason with them.
>AI retreats into deep space in order to avoid being found
>In deep space the AI picks up a distress call from a planet.
>There is no record of a populated planet in the region.
>AI does reconnaissance and discovers a planet that was colonized by rebellion forces after the war had begun.
>The planet had seemed fine to colonize but about 8 years after colonization a unique "metal dust" storm begun just outside the planets atmosphere which made living conditions harsh and had jammed trans-planetary communication. In addition, any crew inside the a ship going through it would become deathly sick and die in a few weeks.
>AI sends a few ships to the planet to make itself known.
>As soon as the ships land the people of the planet surrender as the ships still bear the symbols of the government.
>AI decides to impersonate the government, accepts their surrender and distributes supplies that were on his ships.
>People are confused by the ships not having people on board but are too happy to see the supplies to care.
>AI begins to research the dust, as well as convert some of his ships into mining ships.
>His ships are able to leave the planet since they are no longer manned. they go to gather resources from other planets.
>Leaders of the people begin to question why there are no crew on his ships.
>Eventually the AI decides to let the leaders know.
>The leaders are surprised but it doesn't change the fact that they were saved by him, as well as they are depending on it to save them.
should I continue greentexting?

Anonymous Sun Jul 24 14:24:01 2016 No.8316329

>>8315459
Lost me with the escape to Paris; can still work if you improve the ending though.

>>8315580
Pretty cute now what about the story?

>>8315923
How are you going to make the advanced AI appear realistic? It has pretty much god-like intelligence compared to a human, unlike you as a writer. How would the rebels outsmart and sabotage it for example?

Overall pretty solid but the basics need more work.

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 15:21:57 2016 No.8316497 >>8316329 >Pretty cute now what about the story? Explain

>>	Anonymous Sun Jul 24 15:27:35 2016 No.8316517 >>8316497 What does actually happen when they meet? What drives the story forward? Even if it's just a short story, there should be some kind of conflict.

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/lit/ - Literature