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/lit/ - Literature

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829908 No.829908 [Reply] [Original]

>There is virtually no information about Jesus's sexuality and we can't be certain if Jesus was straight, gay, bisexual or celibate. There is no evidence for the Church's presumption that he was a heterosexual. There is nothing in the Bible that indicates him having desires or relationships with women. The possibility of a gay Christ cannot be ruled out.

http://englishatheist.org/indexh.shtml

>> No.829911

U mad christfag? :3

>> No.829909

It's true.

>> No.829912

Of course Jesus was gay. You see him banging chicks? No? Then he's gay.

>> No.829924

>>829912
You see him banging dudes? no? Then he was into bestiality.

>> No.829929

>>829924
GAY beastiality. Jesus only had sex with male animals.

>> No.829931

>There is virtually no information about Jesus's martial arts skillz and we can't be certain if Jesus was Marquis of Queensbury, karate, Drunken Master or dick punch style. There is no evidence for the Church's presumption that he was Marquis of Queensbury. There is nothing in the Bible that indicates him wearing boxing gloves. The possibility of a Ninja Christ cannot be ruled out.

>> No.829932

>>829924
You see him banging goats? No? Then he had GREAT self-control.

>> No.829941

>>829924
He surrounded himself with men.
"St John the Evangelist was bedfellow to Christ and leaned always in his bosom" John 13:23-25 could be used as implied homosexuality. Some translations try to lessen it's impact, but even playwrights from 1500's thought those scriptures implied Jesus was a homosexual.

>> No.829949

>>829941
I'm gonna have to remember this for the next time I deal with a christfag.

>> No.829956

> Jesus's

Fucking raged.

>> No.829960

>>829941
1500's playwrights were always trying to gay everything up.

>> No.829963

Indications that Jesus did have a homosexual orientation:
"In the Gospel of John, the disciple John frequently refers to himself in the third person as 'the disciple whom Jesus loved'." One might argue that Jesus loved all of his followers in a non-sexual way. Thus to identify Jesus' love for John in a special way might indicate a sexual relationship. The disciple was "the" beloved. He was in a class by himself.

During the Last Supper before Jesus' execution, the author(s) of the Gospel of John describes how the "beloved" disciple laid himself on Jesus' inner tunic -- his undergarment. See John 13:25 and 21:20. Robert Goss, assistant professor of comparative religion at Webster University in St. Louis, LA, noted that Jesus and the beloved disciple: "... eat together, side by side. What's being portrayed here is a pederastic relationship between an older man and a younger man. A Greek reader would understand."

On the other hand:
Some commentators have suggested that it was a common practice in Judea at that time for heterosexual man to lay his head on another's undergarment. Such behavior was common between two heterosexuals in an emotionally close but non-erotic relationship during the first century CE.

>> No.829968

ITT: fags trying to justify their faggotry to a god they don't even believe in

>> No.829977

>>829960
Christopher Marlowe wrote a play about John and Jesus being partners.

>> No.829982

During the crucifixion, in John 19:26-28, Jesus is described as seeing his mother and an unidentified man: "the disciple standing by, whom he loved." Again, Jesus probably loved all of his 12 or 70 disciples in a non-sexual manner. But this particular disciple is identified as "the" disciple who Jesus loved. That might indicate a special intimate relationship with one special disciple.

>> No.829983

>>829977


Oh shit, Christopher *Marlowe* said it? Well that settles the debate for me.

>> No.830009

I'm God. And yes, my son is gay.

>> No.830014
File: 37 KB, 515x320, gay-jesus-offends-christians-10312-1239746908-44.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
830014

Bwahahahahahaha.

>> No.830058 [SPOILER] 
File: 1.88 MB, 200x168, pterodactyl porn.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
830058

Jesus was into pterodactyls.

>> No.830179

didn't Jesus "lie with" lazarus to bring him back from the dead?

now there's something you don't see on the stained glass windows. jesus putting it in Lazarus' pooper, shouting "CLEAR! ZZZZZZZZT! CLEAR!! COME ON, DON'T YOU 404 ON ME!"

>> No.830197

There is indeed no information about this, which is quite normal for this type of literature. Statistically, he was probably heterosexual, particularily given the homophobic tone of Jewish laws (although I don't know how Roman laws were about this).

But still, the statistical fact remains that should we guess, we should guess hetero.

>> No.830213

>>829931
SAMURAI CHRIST

>> No.830216

Of course Jesus was gay. Why do you think God nailed him to a cross? And the first thing he did upon resurrected was visit two bitches, saying, "'sup dad, I'm banging chicks now!"

>> No.830220

>>830197
It was cool to bang your male slaves as long as you were on top. Taking it was criminal for a roman citizen.

>> No.831021

>>830179

worst fanfic ever

>> No.831040

>>830213

"You have spat on my God. You have soiled the teachings of our Father. You have nailed me to this wooden cage, split my sides with spears, and still - I have forgiven you."

"But when you take my land and insult my honor - now, Sinja, you die."

some people believe that jesus' healing ability was just a early form of reiki or whatever, learned from the east in between his childhood and his adulthood, which would explain where he picked up the ninjitsu. don't know about the gay shit though, i think there's just as many people that can find evidence for mary magdalene + jesus

>> No.831048
File: 204 KB, 1024x681, Christ_In_Japan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831048

>>831040

>> No.831051

he probably wasn't even real, so the argument is irrelevant

>> No.831065
File: 126 KB, 450x373, full retard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831065

>>831051

>> No.831069

>>831065
u trollin?

>> No.831075

>>831051

Jesus of Nazareth was a real person, he was a carpenter and the only debated fact about his is whether he was the son of Christ and rose from the dead, ect.

>> No.831093

>>831075

Did he ever go to Japan?

>> No.831107

jesus was a total weaboo

>> No.831113

>>831093

once or twice.

>> No.831127
File: 34 KB, 330x338, marlowe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831127

>>829960
u mad?

>> No.831466
File: 103 KB, 691x289, sick_manuscript_bro.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
831466

>>831021
I am not a very good monk.

>> No.831505

>>829931
you know there is some theory that he traveled to the east...just sayin

>> No.831526

>>831040
He learned how to gay from the Samurai then :D

>> No.832317

OP: As there is no contemporary evidence that he even existed, it seems a bit over the top that there should be any concerning his sexuality.

>> No.833117

So, we're not even taking into account the fact that Jesus was supposed to be (with no honest evidence to the contrary) celibate/asexual? Like, the whole "no sin found in him" thing?
Sure is atheistfag in here.

>> No.833131

>>831048
wtf! hahahahaha

>> No.833174

>>833117
My good man, you're in the land of the e/lit/es. Of course 90% of us are atheists, agnostics or at least the kind of religious people who DO THE RIGHT THING and QUESTION their religion.

>> No.833288

>>833117

Even if he's just a regular man who happened to start a religion, I'd prefer to think of him as celibate.

(I'm not even Christian)

>> No.833309

>>833117
How is sex sin? In Jesus-era Judea, sex was pretty common, just as sex has been common in every country in the world since the beginning of humanity.

>> No.833809

>>833309
Unfortunately, according to Christianity sed outside wedlock is one of the ultimate sins, I-shit-you-not, and back in the day you could stone a woman to death for liking the stick.

>> No.833823

>>833809
Good thing sed is just as made up as godjesus.

>> No.833825

>>833131

I think it's an attempt to reconcile Christianity with the Shinto belief that only the Japanese islands are truly divine and favoured by the Gods... or God, singular, in this case.

Missionaries have been doing goofy stuff like this since forever actually. The word "Hell" is derived from the Norse goddess Hel and location of the same name, for instance.

>> No.833830

>>833823
Apologies, I meant sex.
I'm really fucking tired, too much to type properly.

>> No.833833

>>833823
This is what atheists actually believe.

>> No.833835

>>833833
>He still has sed with his wief

>> No.833847

I do ecchi things with my waifu ;3

>> No.833850

>>833835
At least he doesn't
>geneterxt sih ionpts

>> No.833854

>>833850
>>833835
>>833823
I fucking love you guys.