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/lit/ - Literature

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8066467 No.8066467[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Jonathan Green, born roughly 1950 - 1990 BPH (before post-humanism), was an pre-techwar American public intellectual and writer. While only fragments of his work survive, modern scholars unanimously place him among the greatest writers of the pre-transhuman era. After long debate, scholarship now generally accepts Green as the author of the work known as "Cancer Girl".

Sources suggest that while Green was principally known for his writing, he also performed sermons on the "YouTube" sector of the internet, just fifty years before the medium was destroyed. His teachings included bizarre comparisons of women to cereal, postulations on the mind-spirit connection of adolescents whom he believed "more pure" than adults, and cryptic communications with his alter ego, Hank. His listeners, now commonly regarded as members of his cult of personality, were known as "nerdfighters". The etymology of this word remains unknown.

Greenism is now universally regarded as the de facto religion on pre-tech war Earth. The Cult of Green condemns women, comparing them to boxes of cereal that are meant to be consumed by men. Every spring, the time of Earth's adolescence, they sacrifice the cancer ridden to their God.

>> No.8066477

Johnthony 'the Meme' Mungreen

>> No.8066481

This is good

>> No.8066487

>tfw you will never have a qt Greenite bf who will attempt to eat you like a box of cereal

>> No.8066492

>>8066467
This is pasta I legitimately enjoy.

>> No.8066493

I never thought I would live to see the day when such a exemplar John "The Meme" Green meme was created. I thank you OP 10/10

>> No.8066544

Ah, morning kek
Good job anon

>> No.8066559
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8066559

>be le me
>have been shitposting on the interbutts for a decade
>visit /lit/
>see this thread
>lol wut?
>do a little search
>recieve KYM

>Your Fav Is Problematic

>On April 17th, 2013, Tumble blog YourFavIsPromblematic, which creates post listing potentially offensive things celebrities of done or said, published a post on Green. Accusations of his potentially offensive behavior include:

> “Commented on how nerd women are an “under-utilized romantic resource” instead of, you know, human beings. The comment also manages to be exceedingly heteronormative and slut-shaming, and enforces the hierarchy of high maintenance/low maintenance, self-confident/beautiful but doesn’t know it. (“It was a joke. it was a bad joke, and I’m sorry I made it, but, in context, it is pretty clearly a joke.”)

> In the same video he shamed thin women / women with eating disorders and condemned those who’ve chosen to undergo cosmetic surgery “and then there’s the weird culturally constructed definition of hot which means that an individual is malnourished and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts.”

> Made fun of and appropriated the important cultural holiday Cinco de Mayo by creating “Hanko de Mayo”. (Has stopped using the term)

> He then refused to apologize when called out for this (1 | 2 | 3 | 4)"

I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!

>> No.8066565
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8066565

This is the reason I come to /lit/

>> No.8066567

>Made fun of and appropriated the important cultural holiday Cinco de Mayo creating “Hanko de Mayo”. (Has stopped using the term)
what.
do americunts really consider that a holiday?

>> No.8066569

"Cereal" was a bread product given in fast breaking rituals.

>> No.8066601

>>8066467
This is good, thank you.

>> No.8066697

>>8066467
I laughed